While Pam and Anna chatted amiably, Lulu looked around at the various customers. She didn't recognize any of them and felt bad about it. Did that make her shallow? Sure, she liked "Gossip Girl" as much as the next person, and dressed a little bit skanky from time to time, but did that make her shallow? Then again, it had been a long time, and no one else had recognized her either. Pam, who was looking at the menu, scoffed at the prices.
"Your mom's upped the prices, Anna. $7.98 for a pancake platter?"
"Wait...she's finally made you guys start paying for your food?" Anna and Pam nodded sadly. Gone were the days of free brownies and Pony Pal specials. Now that they were seniors in high school, Mrs. Harley expected them to pay. Lulu was glad that she finally expected the Pony Pals to grow up, but secretly she wondered if she had enough money to buy anything. Assuming she did, she glanced at the menu. Hashbrowns and toast...eggs and bacon w/ toast...French toast...blueberry pancakes. There were so many carbs, it was as if Mrs. Harley WANTED Lulu to get fat.
"What can I get you guys?" A perky waitress asked, whipping out a pen and paper.
"I'll have blueberry pancakes." Pam answered.
"Same here." The waitress was looking at Lulu expectantly.
"Um..." Quickly, she perused the menu again. What sounded delicious and breakfast-y without being completely fatty and disgusting. "I'll have piece of apple pie." Crap. There went her diet. Anna and Pam stared at her in shock.
"Lulu!" Pam hissed. "What do you think you're doing?"
"What?" Lulu asked innocently, as the waitress took their menus.
"We always order the same thing!" Anna whispered violently. "It's a Pony Pal tradition!"
"Sorry," Lulu said, though she wasn't sorry at all. "I just felt like pie instead of pancakes."
"Pie isn't even a breakfast food!" Pam stated indignantly. They both glared at her, making Lulu feel incredibly small. She sunk down a little in her seat, stifling a whimper.
Then, as if nothing had ever happened, Pam and Anna went back to chatting. Lulu felt awkward.
"So," she said, breaking into their meaningless conversation. "What have I missed?" They began to tell her:
Tommy Rand, the town bully, had been held back twice, but dropped out the second time. He was now working at a garage, a place full of dirty cars and moral iniquity. Rema Baxter, thanks to her father's generous alumni donation, had been accepted into Yale. She joined a sorority, landed a spot on the honor roll, starred in numerous plays, sang in choir, and was a majorette in the marching band. Though there was a two year age difference, Rema had considered Lulu her biggest competition and, with her gone, she'd been able to be the best at everything, even horseback riding: even though their daughter had turned into a terrible rider who tended to blame the horse for everything, the Baxters thought they would try again and bought Rema a beautiful (though expensive) Arabian mare named Glittering Stardust from Heaven Above, or Geisha for short. Rema learned to ride again and began winning shows, even taking first place away from Pam, the best rider in the group. Pam was still mad about it and Anna, of course, hated Rema because she was a "snob".
Since ditching Tommy Rand in 8th grade, Mike Lacey had become a much nicer person. He started volunteering at the library, when he wasn't babysitting his younger sister, Rosalie, or working at Ms. Wiggins' house. Finally, after raising enough money, he'd moved to Chicago to live with his dad, leaving Rosalie to deal with their psychotic pony-hating mother. Rosalie was still devastated about Acorn's being sold and now, with Mike gone, her only friend was the bratty Mimi Kline. Mimi still rode Tongo, though he was way too small for either girl now that they'd hit puberty.
Charlie Olson, Mr. Olson's showboating nephew, still popped up from time to time, full of stories about Wyoming and cattle roping. The Pony Pals had since learned not to take him seriously.
As Lulu listened to all this, the waitress came by with their food. "Three stacks of blueberry pancakes," she announced, setting a plate in front of each girl. Lulu stared at the steaming hot pancakes before her.
"There must be some mistake," she began. "I ordered apple pie." The waitress stared at her blankly.
"I clearly remember you ordering pancakes. Would you like syrup?" Lulu didn't want any syrup; she wanted pie. She noticed Pam and Anna had triumphant grins on their face. It sort of pissed her off.
"What are you smiling about?" Instantly, the smiles disappeared.
"Nothing." Anna picked up her fork and took a bite of her pancakes. Pam did the same. Lulu sighed. Not wanting to start a fight, she began to eat also.
When they had been eating for a while, Lulu finally set down her fork and said, "I think we need a new name." Pam paused with a bite halfway to her lips. Anna swallowed hard.
"What?" She asked dangerously.
"Seriously," Lulu continued. "'The Pony Pals' is pretty...juvenile." Pam frowned. Anna shrugged as if to say, "Yeah? So?"
"SO," Lulu countered. "I think now that we're older, we need a name that sounds grown-up. Sure, we're 'pals' who like 'ponies', but we're not ten anymore."
"What name were you suggesting?" Pam tightened her grip on her fork, brandishing it like a weapon.
"I was wondering if you had any suggestions." Lulu knew she'd crossed a line, challenging Pam's authority. But, you know, so what? Pam had always been bossy; now it was her turn to take charge. Anna appeared to be thinking, always a dangerous thing.
"How about...The Really Cool Girls Who Like Ponies and Horses Both?" Pam and Lulu exchanged dubious glances, suddenly on the same side. Maybe it would be better to leave Anna out of this...
"Hello, girls," spoke a soft, mysterious voice. The girls looked up and saw Mr. Remington, the town librarian. He'd hardly aged in the past six years, though his jet black hair was turning the tiniest bit gray and there were wrinkles surrounding his ice blue eyes. "Lulu, it's a pleasure to see you. You've been gone a long time." Lulu suppressed a shiver. Mr. Remington, with his soft voice and Harry Potter obsession, had always given her the creeps.
"Hi, Mr. Remington," she said simply. He seemed satisfied with this greeting.
"I hear you're trying to think up a new name for your little..." He waved his hands in the air, trying to think of a suitable word.
"Cult?" Lulu squeaked. Pam glared at her. Neither Mr. Remington nor Anna had heard.
"Well, we're really good friends!" Anna piped up, trying to be helpful. Mr. Remington glanced at her but didn't say anything.
"Well, actually, we're companions." Pam said, trying to sound suave. It didn't work.
"And we love horses." Lulu said, purposefully ommitting the word "ponies". Mr. Remington looked thoughtful.
"Three companions...so be it. You shall be...the Horse Companions."
"All right!" The Horse Companions shouted, giving each other high fives. They turned to thank Mr. Remington, but he'd vanished.
Showing posts with label horses. Show all posts
Showing posts with label horses. Show all posts
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
Lulu's Return: Part #1
Anna Harley opened her eyes at 5:00 AM, just like she did every morning. Pam Crandal snorted beside her.
"Wake up, Pam." Anna practically shouted in her ear. Pam groaned into her pillow. The two had grown out of barn sleepovers long ago and now preferred to sleep in Anna's bed. Pam was still having a hard time getting up.
"Pam!!" Anna squealed in an irritating fashion. Pam resolutely pulled the covers over her ears, so Anna gave up and went outside to feed the ponies.
Both Starfire and Snow White were already awake. Anna went to grab some hay, but paused near Acorn's empty stall. She sighed. After Lulu left, the inhabitants of Wiggins followed suit. Fat Cat "ran away", or so Dr. Crandal said, as to soften the blow for Jack and Jill. Shadow was hit by a car. Mr. and Mrs. Quinn were taken to the nursing home, and, without them knowing it, their pony Ginger was sold to the slaughterhouse. Even her beloved pony Acorn didn't stand a chance. Though both Rosalie and Anna had begged them not to, Mr. and Mrs. Harley sold Acorn to Mr. Olson during the recession. "You're both getting too big for him," they reasoned. Even so, Anna rarely spoke to her parents. She shook her head, refusing to think about it.
When she went back inside, Pam was in the kitchen, cooking breakfast. "Blueberry pancakes," she grunted, shuffling around the kitchen like an old woman. Anna stifled a groan. Back in the golden days, when she, Pam, and Lulu had been called "The Pony Pals", she'd eaten brownies, spaghetti, and blueberry pancakes by the truckload. But puberty hadn't been especially nice to her and there was a bit of extra pudge around her middle from all the scrumptious carbs.
"Uh...I think I'll pass...." She made herself a protein shake and forced herself to drink it. Mmmm, so healthy. She wouldn't have to eat again until dinnertime!
"Are you excited for school?" Pam asked pleasantly, suddenly cheerful. It was hard to get even-keeled Pam excited about anything, but homework and extra credit gave her a thrill like nothing else. She was especially excited because they'd be starting their senior year in 3 days time.
Anna, on the other hand, still hated school. It wasn't just the condescending teachers or the dyslexia, but hormones and teenage girls made school almost impossible to deal with. Pam just didn't understand; she'd never had acne, and her periods lasted a grand total of 2 days. Sometimes Anna wondered how heavy her friend's flow was. But only sometimes.
"Anna!" Pam hissed all of a sudden. Anna snapped out of her perverted reverie.
"What?"
"Someone's in the paddock!" Anna ran to the window, and saw a strange girl with Snow White. Strange... She couldn't recall letting the either animal out of their stall....
"She's trying to steal the ponies!" It was a fear she'd often had when she was a kid. But the ponies didn't seem to be frightened. Snow White seemed downright cheerful. And the girl, though strange, was starting to look a little familiar...
"PAM!!!" Anna screamed.
"What?"
"You're not going to believe this."
"What?"
"It's...it's...it's..."
"ENOUGH WITH THE SUSPENSE! TELL ME WHO IT IS OR I'LL DESTROY YOU!" Complete silence followed Pam's loud outburst. Anna wondered if the time of the month she'd been pondering just moments ago had come around again. She then remembered the important thing she had to tell Pam.
"That's Lulu outside with the ponies! She's back!"
"Wake up, Pam." Anna practically shouted in her ear. Pam groaned into her pillow. The two had grown out of barn sleepovers long ago and now preferred to sleep in Anna's bed. Pam was still having a hard time getting up.
"Pam!!" Anna squealed in an irritating fashion. Pam resolutely pulled the covers over her ears, so Anna gave up and went outside to feed the ponies.
Both Starfire and Snow White were already awake. Anna went to grab some hay, but paused near Acorn's empty stall. She sighed. After Lulu left, the inhabitants of Wiggins followed suit. Fat Cat "ran away", or so Dr. Crandal said, as to soften the blow for Jack and Jill. Shadow was hit by a car. Mr. and Mrs. Quinn were taken to the nursing home, and, without them knowing it, their pony Ginger was sold to the slaughterhouse. Even her beloved pony Acorn didn't stand a chance. Though both Rosalie and Anna had begged them not to, Mr. and Mrs. Harley sold Acorn to Mr. Olson during the recession. "You're both getting too big for him," they reasoned. Even so, Anna rarely spoke to her parents. She shook her head, refusing to think about it.
When she went back inside, Pam was in the kitchen, cooking breakfast. "Blueberry pancakes," she grunted, shuffling around the kitchen like an old woman. Anna stifled a groan. Back in the golden days, when she, Pam, and Lulu had been called "The Pony Pals", she'd eaten brownies, spaghetti, and blueberry pancakes by the truckload. But puberty hadn't been especially nice to her and there was a bit of extra pudge around her middle from all the scrumptious carbs.
"Uh...I think I'll pass...." She made herself a protein shake and forced herself to drink it. Mmmm, so healthy. She wouldn't have to eat again until dinnertime!
"Are you excited for school?" Pam asked pleasantly, suddenly cheerful. It was hard to get even-keeled Pam excited about anything, but homework and extra credit gave her a thrill like nothing else. She was especially excited because they'd be starting their senior year in 3 days time.
Anna, on the other hand, still hated school. It wasn't just the condescending teachers or the dyslexia, but hormones and teenage girls made school almost impossible to deal with. Pam just didn't understand; she'd never had acne, and her periods lasted a grand total of 2 days. Sometimes Anna wondered how heavy her friend's flow was. But only sometimes.
"Anna!" Pam hissed all of a sudden. Anna snapped out of her perverted reverie.
"What?"
"Someone's in the paddock!" Anna ran to the window, and saw a strange girl with Snow White. Strange... She couldn't recall letting the either animal out of their stall....
"She's trying to steal the ponies!" It was a fear she'd often had when she was a kid. But the ponies didn't seem to be frightened. Snow White seemed downright cheerful. And the girl, though strange, was starting to look a little familiar...
"PAM!!!" Anna screamed.
"What?"
"You're not going to believe this."
"What?"
"It's...it's...it's..."
"ENOUGH WITH THE SUSPENSE! TELL ME WHO IT IS OR I'LL DESTROY YOU!" Complete silence followed Pam's loud outburst. Anna wondered if the time of the month she'd been pondering just moments ago had come around again. She then remembered the important thing she had to tell Pam.
"That's Lulu outside with the ponies! She's back!"
6 years later....
The Pony Pals have grown too big for ponies...
They are now known as THE HORSE COMPANIONS!
Horse Companions #1: Lulu's Return
After 6 years apart, the Pony Pals (ahem, Horse Companions) are finally reunited for their senior year of high school when Lulu comes back to Wiggins. But things are different between them now. Lulu doesn't like to ride anymore! Anna's happy with Charlie, but now that Lulu's back in town, she can't seem to choose between them! Pam was happy when Lulu left, but now that she's back, in seems everyone is back under her spell. Will the three ever be friends again?
Coming soon, summer 2009!
They are now known as THE HORSE COMPANIONS!
Horse Companions #1: Lulu's Return
After 6 years apart, the Pony Pals (ahem, Horse Companions) are finally reunited for their senior year of high school when Lulu comes back to Wiggins. But things are different between them now. Lulu doesn't like to ride anymore! Anna's happy with Charlie, but now that Lulu's back in town, she can't seem to choose between them! Pam was happy when Lulu left, but now that she's back, in seems everyone is back under her spell. Will the three ever be friends again?
Coming soon, summer 2009!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Months of toil now at an end, or Pony Pals Super Special #6: The Last Pony Ride
This is it, guys. The very last Pony Pals book.
Plot: Major changes are going on in Wiggins. Lulu's father wants to her to move to Africa with him! Pam and Anna are getting too big for their ponies!!! What is going on???
First, let's deal with Pam: Pam finds it's getting a tad uncomfortable to ride Lightning. At the same time, Eleanor Whats-her-face has given Pam her horse Starfire after a tragic riding accident, forcing him (not her; she got a new horse) to retire early. Pam is torn between the pony she loves and the horse she longs to care for.
Her mom is totally NOT helping, by hinting that Lightning is a boring old nag that should be sold for glue.
In the end, Pam chooses to keep Starfire and let her mom use Lightning as a school pony, but still take care of her old pony every day.
Good choice.
Now Lulu: Her dad suddenly wants her to move to Africa with him, because he doesn't want to miss her childhood.
Hello???
Then why did you dump her in Wiggins with her grandmother in the FIRST PLACE???
Lulu begs her father to let her stay in Wiggins, with her FRIENDS, and GRANDMA, and PONY, but her dad insists she move to a country (Botwswana) with civil wars so she can make new friends. Because introverts are soooooo good at that.
Lulu has been defeated by her SUCKY FATHER!!! She decides to give Snow White to Anna, because Snow White is the perfect size for her 4'10" friend.
Anna: Basically what was just said about Lulu. She doesn't want her friends to move and change and go through puberty and that, and she doesn't want to give up Acorn. So she asks her parents if she can have TWO ponies (Snow White and Acorn), and Mike Lacey agrees to help her with barn chores so she doesn't get behind in school.
So Anna has two ponies, Lulu has no pony, and Pam has a horse AND a pony.
Not fair.
So Lulu moves to Africa, taking with her a scrapbook of all the Pony Pal's adventures. AWwww.
More notes:
Can I just say I REALLY liked this book? It was sweet.
Except for all the really bad parents.
Isn't Botswana one of the wartorn countries??
Ooh, Lulu got to ride an elephant!! How exotic!
Whatever. I could still ride ponies like Acorn in like 6th grade at 5'4". Anna is 6 inches shorter than that. She needs to suck it up. Just lengthen your stirrups, honey.
Eleanor is such a fake. "Oooh, I miss Starfire! He'll never be able to compete again!"
So she dumps him on a ten-year-old and buys a NEW horse to compete with.
Pam is 5'4", too, and she's too big for Lightning???? Lightning is 14 hands. She should be the perfect height!!
Pam's mom is so annoying. I really, REALLY despise her.
Ugh.
Eleanor: I thought Starfire and I wouldbe a team forever. Now I'm training another horse. I'll walk him around a little. Then I have to go back and ride my new horse. You'll always be my star! *sob*
-_-
Mr. Crandal shaved!!!!!!! He looks Samoan.
Starfire is so named because he has a white STAR marking on his forehead, but that marking is not evident in the illustration.
Ooh, Dr. Crandal's in on it, too.
If your daughter was happy with a pony, why wouldn't you let her be??
And if Pam isn't too big to ride DAISY and SPLASH and train numerous other ponies, she really shouldn't be too big for Lightning!
Mike: Is this something for Lulu?
Anna: Yeah. It's going to say 'Welcome home.' Pam was supposed to write it, but she's not here yet. And Lulu will be here any minute.
Mike: I'll write it for you. I print good.
Yeah, but you don't speak so well.
The writing in this book is definitely more improved than previous books, but Ms. Betancourt still has a tendency to repeat phrases.
Okay, Mr. Sanders wants Lulu to have some permanence in her life, so he's ripping her out of her comfortable life in Wiggins to live with him in Botswana...FOR TWO YEARS. THEN where are they going to move, I wonder?
Oh, it's going to be so great, Lulu! People speak English there, and you can go to school, and your dad bought an apartment for the two of you!
Oh, and you can't bring Snow White.
Pam: Did you tell your dad you didn't want to move to Africa?
Lulu: It seemed like an okay idea when I was there.
Anna: What does your grandmother always want us to do?
Lulu: Be girlie girls.
I'm glad she has such high expectations.
They let Grandma Sandy give them makeovers, then beg her to tell her irresponsible son to let his daughter stay where she pleases.
Grandma: Makeovers! What a lovely idea. I have a great idea for Anna's hair. A shade of pink nail polish would be perfect for girls your age. And there's a new aqua one with sparkles.
Lulu: I bet Pam would like that one.
Hehehe.
SHE STRAIGHTENS ANNA'S HAIR!!
I think Pam is over Lightning. She forgets what gender her pony is.
This sounds like something from a horror movie.
"Lulu's grandmother turned her attention to Lulu. 'Now I am going to give you curls,' she announced cheerfully."
Whoa, pink and silver beads totally don't go with sparkly aqua nail polish.
Moral of this story: Tomboys are better.
Charlie's back in town!! What, he's 12??? I thought he was 14. He's best friends with Mike and Tommy, isn't he??? WHY WOULD THEY HANG OUT WITH A 12-YEAR-OLD??
Uh oh. They go out to dinner at the diner, looking like girls...and see Tommy, Charlie, and Mike.
Recipe for disaster.
Tommy: Look at the Pony Pests. They're trying to be girls.
Jerk. He's probably a homophobe.
Which is weird, cuz he's gay with Mike.
Is it possible to be a gay homophobe?
I guess that's called hypocrisy.
Meow, Lulu looks like Evangeline Lilly.
Grandma: Riding helmets will crush your new hairdos.
Forsake your riding safety, Lulu! I don't care if you die in a riding accident as long as your corpse looks good!
Then she says: Don't worry about it, dear. It's you I love. Not what your hair looks like.
Which is, like, the opposite of what you've been telling her all these years.
Surprise! Starfire is Pam's now.
And her mom still sucks.
Mrs. Crandal totally drops that bomb on her, and then when Pam reacts, is all, "Sorry, I'm busy, we'll discuss this later."
Haaaate.
Anna's in denial. She doesn't realize she's too huge for Acorn (though in the picture all the girls are the same size and look aptly suited to their ponies).
WHOA!!!
Never tell Anna anything, or she might react like this:
"You're going to have a horse! You're giving up Lightning! If you have Starfire, you won't ride her at all. You're disloyal and you're bad Pony Pals. Both of you!!"
*runs away crying*
The Pony Pals decide to let her cool off on her own for a while.
THEY'RE LEARNING! HALLELUJAH!
Oh. Anna admits she's a little psycho. And sad. And resistant to change.
Awwww.
I HATE LULU'S DAD!!!
He's SO SELFISH! If he wants to be with Lulu so badly, why isn't he putting her best interests into the picture??
It's been about his career all this time, and it's STILL about his career.
He claims he doesn't want to miss anymore of her childhood, that she should remain in one place, and that they belong together.
If that's so, MOVE TO WIGGINS TO BE WITH YOUR KID, YOU SELFISH LOSER!!!
He's SUCH a jerk.
And it sucks cuz Lulu probably knows this, but she does love and her dad and wants to live with him.
This is the part of the book that made me really sad. And incensed. But pretty sad, too.
THE MOMENT OF TRUTH:
Tommy: Good riddance. We have too many Pony Pests around here. We need pest control.
Mike: Stop it! Stop being mean. It's not funny.
Tommy: Good riddance to you, too. You're a bigger pest than they are.
Wow. I guess it's really over. Now Mike and Anna can hook up!!
Unless...uh oh....
Mike: He makes me so mad sometimes. He's a lousy friend.
Charlie: *pats him on the back* You can find better guys than him to hang out with. [Read: ME!]
Mike: *smile* I guess.
Awww, so much for Mike + Anna.
That would be the awesomest fanfic ever. An Anna, Mike, and Charlie love triangle.
Lulu thinks up some pretty smart ideas.
Idea #1: She wants to give Snow White to Anna, because Snow White knows Anna and giving her away is easier than selling her.
Idea #2: They can enter the 21st century (yay!) and use e-mail to communicate.
They agree to e-mail every week.
Every WEEK?? Come on. Use IM and talk every DAY.
What's with the idea that hobbies detract from schoolwork? I disagree. There can be a balance, and Anna does have a legitimate learning disability.
Mrs. Harley isn't the nicest mom either.
Anna: Acorn and Snow White shouldn't be seperated. They're best friends. They're stablemates.
Mrs. Harley: Of course they can be separated. Ponies are bought and sold all the time. You can only have one pony. That's more than most kids have. I'm sorry, Anna. You'll have to decide what pony you want.
Harsh!! I can understand the financial burden another pony would bring, but seriously??? Your kid's grades should have NOTHING to do with the decision, lady. And she has to choose? Way mean.
No way!!!
Rosalie wishes she could ride ponies more often.
Anna can't take care of two ponies.
Mike offers to take care of both ponies, in exchange for more riding time for Rosalie.
That's so nice!!!!
Basically, they make Mike do ALL the barn chores.
Whoa, that wasn't in the agreement. Anna should still help out.
Haha, we find out the Pony Pals' middle names.
Mike's middle name is John. Lame.
Charlie's is K. Huh. Like Harry S. Truman.
Pam's is Eleanor (after the famous chick who tossed her injured horse over Pam's way).
Anna's is Marie.
Lulu doesn't have a middle name. That's why she's no longer in the club and has to move to Africa.
"I heard you're moving to AFrica. It's a wonderful oppurtunity for you."
That's Mr. Harley talking. I suppose that's true, but all the same, how inconsiderate.
This girl has to leave most of her family and friends (AND PONY) to a completely different culture where there are wars and dangerous animals and excessive heat.
Not that I have anything against Africa (quite the opposite), but if I was forced to move there, I'd be cutting myself now.
How convenient. Rosalie is the perfect size for Acorn. So, in essence, Acorn is Rosalie's pony now.
Yay, the Harley's agreed!
They say goodbye to almost everyone in Wiggins, and reference quite a few of the past books. This includes:
Ms. McGee (Historical Society Chick); Mike's grandma (after they found her secret letter in the secret spot in #31); Ms. Raskins (the slacker girl in charge of St. Francis Animal Shelter); Eve Greeley and Lucky (the pony they raised from birth); Mr. and Mrs. Quinn (the old people with the old pony); Mimi Klein and Tongo (the bratty girl with her bratty pony); Mr. Olson (creepy old man/Charlie's uncle); and Mr. Remington (the cool, Harry Potter-obsessed librarian).
They throw a going-away party for Lulu, where they serve all her favorite foods: spaghetti and brownies!!!
Aw. Grandma Sandy buys them matching pony necklaces to help them remember the now defunct Pony Pals.
They have a profile in the back of the book on each character and pony.
Lulu is 5 feet, and likes detective work and spaghetti, but not fussing with her hair.
Anna is 4'10" (!!), and likes brownies and drawing, but not school.
Pam is 5'4" (at 10 years old!!!), and likes jumping and being in charge (that's for sure), but not bossy people (ironically enough).
The Happiest Pony Pal Moment:
When Lulu got Snow White and we knew we would be the Pony Pals.
I can think of happier Pony Pal Moments.
Not off the top of my head, but if I tried really hard....
The Saddest Pony Pal Moment:
When we found out that Lulu was moving.
What about when Winston died?
Well, yeah, I guess friend moving FOREVER trumps pony dying FOREVER.
Not even being sarcastic.
Awww. I miss them already.
Seriously, when did I start this blog?? Remember when it was originally JUST Pony Pals?
Well, now there are no more Pony Pals...
...AND I REALLY MISS THEM.
But I do have plenty of Madison Finns to keep you entertained. That should be fun.
Next stop: Madison Finn Super Special #1. Someone's getting married!!!
Plot: Major changes are going on in Wiggins. Lulu's father wants to her to move to Africa with him! Pam and Anna are getting too big for their ponies!!! What is going on???
First, let's deal with Pam: Pam finds it's getting a tad uncomfortable to ride Lightning. At the same time, Eleanor Whats-her-face has given Pam her horse Starfire after a tragic riding accident, forcing him (not her; she got a new horse) to retire early. Pam is torn between the pony she loves and the horse she longs to care for.
Her mom is totally NOT helping, by hinting that Lightning is a boring old nag that should be sold for glue.
In the end, Pam chooses to keep Starfire and let her mom use Lightning as a school pony, but still take care of her old pony every day.
Good choice.
Now Lulu: Her dad suddenly wants her to move to Africa with him, because he doesn't want to miss her childhood.
Hello???
Then why did you dump her in Wiggins with her grandmother in the FIRST PLACE???
Lulu begs her father to let her stay in Wiggins, with her FRIENDS, and GRANDMA, and PONY, but her dad insists she move to a country (Botwswana) with civil wars so she can make new friends. Because introverts are soooooo good at that.
Lulu has been defeated by her SUCKY FATHER!!! She decides to give Snow White to Anna, because Snow White is the perfect size for her 4'10" friend.
Anna: Basically what was just said about Lulu. She doesn't want her friends to move and change and go through puberty and that, and she doesn't want to give up Acorn. So she asks her parents if she can have TWO ponies (Snow White and Acorn), and Mike Lacey agrees to help her with barn chores so she doesn't get behind in school.
So Anna has two ponies, Lulu has no pony, and Pam has a horse AND a pony.
Not fair.
So Lulu moves to Africa, taking with her a scrapbook of all the Pony Pal's adventures. AWwww.
More notes:
Can I just say I REALLY liked this book? It was sweet.
Except for all the really bad parents.
Isn't Botswana one of the wartorn countries??
Ooh, Lulu got to ride an elephant!! How exotic!
Whatever. I could still ride ponies like Acorn in like 6th grade at 5'4". Anna is 6 inches shorter than that. She needs to suck it up. Just lengthen your stirrups, honey.
Eleanor is such a fake. "Oooh, I miss Starfire! He'll never be able to compete again!"
So she dumps him on a ten-year-old and buys a NEW horse to compete with.
Pam is 5'4", too, and she's too big for Lightning???? Lightning is 14 hands. She should be the perfect height!!
Pam's mom is so annoying. I really, REALLY despise her.
Ugh.
Eleanor: I thought Starfire and I wouldbe a team forever. Now I'm training another horse. I'll walk him around a little. Then I have to go back and ride my new horse. You'll always be my star! *sob*
-_-
Mr. Crandal shaved!!!!!!! He looks Samoan.
Starfire is so named because he has a white STAR marking on his forehead, but that marking is not evident in the illustration.
Ooh, Dr. Crandal's in on it, too.
If your daughter was happy with a pony, why wouldn't you let her be??
And if Pam isn't too big to ride DAISY and SPLASH and train numerous other ponies, she really shouldn't be too big for Lightning!
Mike: Is this something for Lulu?
Anna: Yeah. It's going to say 'Welcome home.' Pam was supposed to write it, but she's not here yet. And Lulu will be here any minute.
Mike: I'll write it for you. I print good.
Yeah, but you don't speak so well.
The writing in this book is definitely more improved than previous books, but Ms. Betancourt still has a tendency to repeat phrases.
Okay, Mr. Sanders wants Lulu to have some permanence in her life, so he's ripping her out of her comfortable life in Wiggins to live with him in Botswana...FOR TWO YEARS. THEN where are they going to move, I wonder?
Oh, it's going to be so great, Lulu! People speak English there, and you can go to school, and your dad bought an apartment for the two of you!
Oh, and you can't bring Snow White.
Pam: Did you tell your dad you didn't want to move to Africa?
Lulu: It seemed like an okay idea when I was there.
Anna: What does your grandmother always want us to do?
Lulu: Be girlie girls.
I'm glad she has such high expectations.
They let Grandma Sandy give them makeovers, then beg her to tell her irresponsible son to let his daughter stay where she pleases.
Grandma: Makeovers! What a lovely idea. I have a great idea for Anna's hair. A shade of pink nail polish would be perfect for girls your age. And there's a new aqua one with sparkles.
Lulu: I bet Pam would like that one.
Hehehe.
SHE STRAIGHTENS ANNA'S HAIR!!
I think Pam is over Lightning. She forgets what gender her pony is.
This sounds like something from a horror movie.
"Lulu's grandmother turned her attention to Lulu. 'Now I am going to give you curls,' she announced cheerfully."
Whoa, pink and silver beads totally don't go with sparkly aqua nail polish.
Moral of this story: Tomboys are better.
Charlie's back in town!! What, he's 12??? I thought he was 14. He's best friends with Mike and Tommy, isn't he??? WHY WOULD THEY HANG OUT WITH A 12-YEAR-OLD??
Uh oh. They go out to dinner at the diner, looking like girls...and see Tommy, Charlie, and Mike.
Recipe for disaster.
Tommy: Look at the Pony Pests. They're trying to be girls.
Jerk. He's probably a homophobe.
Which is weird, cuz he's gay with Mike.
Is it possible to be a gay homophobe?
I guess that's called hypocrisy.
Meow, Lulu looks like Evangeline Lilly.
Grandma: Riding helmets will crush your new hairdos.
Forsake your riding safety, Lulu! I don't care if you die in a riding accident as long as your corpse looks good!
Then she says: Don't worry about it, dear. It's you I love. Not what your hair looks like.
Which is, like, the opposite of what you've been telling her all these years.
Surprise! Starfire is Pam's now.
And her mom still sucks.
Mrs. Crandal totally drops that bomb on her, and then when Pam reacts, is all, "Sorry, I'm busy, we'll discuss this later."
Haaaate.
Anna's in denial. She doesn't realize she's too huge for Acorn (though in the picture all the girls are the same size and look aptly suited to their ponies).
WHOA!!!
Never tell Anna anything, or she might react like this:
"You're going to have a horse! You're giving up Lightning! If you have Starfire, you won't ride her at all. You're disloyal and you're bad Pony Pals. Both of you!!"
*runs away crying*
The Pony Pals decide to let her cool off on her own for a while.
THEY'RE LEARNING! HALLELUJAH!
Oh. Anna admits she's a little psycho. And sad. And resistant to change.
Awwww.
I HATE LULU'S DAD!!!
He's SO SELFISH! If he wants to be with Lulu so badly, why isn't he putting her best interests into the picture??
It's been about his career all this time, and it's STILL about his career.
He claims he doesn't want to miss anymore of her childhood, that she should remain in one place, and that they belong together.
If that's so, MOVE TO WIGGINS TO BE WITH YOUR KID, YOU SELFISH LOSER!!!
He's SUCH a jerk.
And it sucks cuz Lulu probably knows this, but she does love and her dad and wants to live with him.
This is the part of the book that made me really sad. And incensed. But pretty sad, too.
THE MOMENT OF TRUTH:
Tommy: Good riddance. We have too many Pony Pests around here. We need pest control.
Mike: Stop it! Stop being mean. It's not funny.
Tommy: Good riddance to you, too. You're a bigger pest than they are.
Wow. I guess it's really over. Now Mike and Anna can hook up!!
Unless...uh oh....
Mike: He makes me so mad sometimes. He's a lousy friend.
Charlie: *pats him on the back* You can find better guys than him to hang out with. [Read: ME!]
Mike: *smile* I guess.
Awww, so much for Mike + Anna.
That would be the awesomest fanfic ever. An Anna, Mike, and Charlie love triangle.
Lulu thinks up some pretty smart ideas.
Idea #1: She wants to give Snow White to Anna, because Snow White knows Anna and giving her away is easier than selling her.
Idea #2: They can enter the 21st century (yay!) and use e-mail to communicate.
They agree to e-mail every week.
Every WEEK?? Come on. Use IM and talk every DAY.
What's with the idea that hobbies detract from schoolwork? I disagree. There can be a balance, and Anna does have a legitimate learning disability.
Mrs. Harley isn't the nicest mom either.
Anna: Acorn and Snow White shouldn't be seperated. They're best friends. They're stablemates.
Mrs. Harley: Of course they can be separated. Ponies are bought and sold all the time. You can only have one pony. That's more than most kids have. I'm sorry, Anna. You'll have to decide what pony you want.
Harsh!! I can understand the financial burden another pony would bring, but seriously??? Your kid's grades should have NOTHING to do with the decision, lady. And she has to choose? Way mean.
No way!!!
Rosalie wishes she could ride ponies more often.
Anna can't take care of two ponies.
Mike offers to take care of both ponies, in exchange for more riding time for Rosalie.
That's so nice!!!!
Basically, they make Mike do ALL the barn chores.
Whoa, that wasn't in the agreement. Anna should still help out.
Haha, we find out the Pony Pals' middle names.
Mike's middle name is John. Lame.
Charlie's is K. Huh. Like Harry S. Truman.
Pam's is Eleanor (after the famous chick who tossed her injured horse over Pam's way).
Anna's is Marie.
Lulu doesn't have a middle name. That's why she's no longer in the club and has to move to Africa.
"I heard you're moving to AFrica. It's a wonderful oppurtunity for you."
That's Mr. Harley talking. I suppose that's true, but all the same, how inconsiderate.
This girl has to leave most of her family and friends (AND PONY) to a completely different culture where there are wars and dangerous animals and excessive heat.
Not that I have anything against Africa (quite the opposite), but if I was forced to move there, I'd be cutting myself now.
How convenient. Rosalie is the perfect size for Acorn. So, in essence, Acorn is Rosalie's pony now.
Yay, the Harley's agreed!
They say goodbye to almost everyone in Wiggins, and reference quite a few of the past books. This includes:
Ms. McGee (Historical Society Chick); Mike's grandma (after they found her secret letter in the secret spot in #31); Ms. Raskins (the slacker girl in charge of St. Francis Animal Shelter); Eve Greeley and Lucky (the pony they raised from birth); Mr. and Mrs. Quinn (the old people with the old pony); Mimi Klein and Tongo (the bratty girl with her bratty pony); Mr. Olson (creepy old man/Charlie's uncle); and Mr. Remington (the cool, Harry Potter-obsessed librarian).
They throw a going-away party for Lulu, where they serve all her favorite foods: spaghetti and brownies!!!
Aw. Grandma Sandy buys them matching pony necklaces to help them remember the now defunct Pony Pals.
They have a profile in the back of the book on each character and pony.
Lulu is 5 feet, and likes detective work and spaghetti, but not fussing with her hair.
Anna is 4'10" (!!), and likes brownies and drawing, but not school.
Pam is 5'4" (at 10 years old!!!), and likes jumping and being in charge (that's for sure), but not bossy people (ironically enough).
The Happiest Pony Pal Moment:
When Lulu got Snow White and we knew we would be the Pony Pals.
I can think of happier Pony Pal Moments.
Not off the top of my head, but if I tried really hard....
The Saddest Pony Pal Moment:
When we found out that Lulu was moving.
What about when Winston died?
Well, yeah, I guess friend moving FOREVER trumps pony dying FOREVER.
Not even being sarcastic.
Awww. I miss them already.
Seriously, when did I start this blog?? Remember when it was originally JUST Pony Pals?
Well, now there are no more Pony Pals...
...AND I REALLY MISS THEM.
But I do have plenty of Madison Finns to keep you entertained. That should be fun.
Next stop: Madison Finn Super Special #1. Someone's getting married!!!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Fairies are just beautiful hippies, or Avalon: Quest for Magic #2: All's Fairy in Love & War
I love how I have no time to post now. I get home after basketball and don't really care about going on the computer as much as I do finishing my homework and watching "American Idol".
Plot:
Kara, who won't settle for being ordinary, has scored the lead in the school play, "A Midsummer Night's Dream". (Lead being Queen Tatiana) However, she is just semi-stressed out, as her fellow mages are depending on her, there are rehearsals every day, and for some reason, she can't get her jewel to work!
Then, one particularly harrowing day, a bunch of fairies pop up in Kara's closet and send her and Lyra to the Fairy Realms!!
Once there, Kara meets the Forest Prince, a Zorro-wannabe. He tells her that the Five Kingdoms are about to meet and need her help.
She goes to the Fairy Ring where the leaders of the Five Kingdoms are. They ask for proof that she is a mage...but Kara loses control of her magic and turns Lyra into quicksilver! The cat beings to melt and if they can't turn her back into a real cat soon, she'll be gone FOREVER.
Sounds ominous.
Kara seeks the help of Tangoo, the Goblin Sorceror, who is so obviously evil, but no one seems to notice.
Back in the real world, a series of "hilarious" situations of mistaken identity and the like take place as Emily and Adriane try to make everything seem normal. Ha. Ha. Ha.
How can Kara help the Kingdoms? First, she has to bond with an Elemental Stallion made of PURE FIRE.
She fails, of course.
Next, she attends a fairy masquerade ball. With the help of some magical talking accessories (pleeease don't inquire further), Kara becomes the belle of the ball! She also meets up with the Forest Prince again and finds out...
HE'S REALLY THE GOBLIN PRINCE LORREN!!!
He's a nice guy, though, who just cares about the environment. Also, Kara finds him rather attractive.
Oh, ha ha ha, those silly mages are ruining the play! I cannot breathe for laughing.
Kara attempts to bond with the Firemental horse again, for her is detrimental to her "quest", but no dice.
She learns from Tangoo that the Firemental will dissolve back into the air if she doesn't find the Blue Rose and give it to him, supplying him with enough magic to complete their quest.
She hasn't even bonded with him yet, but whatever.
She and Lorren go to the Spider Witch's old lair and have to choose between two roses: one is the real thing, the other is an imposter. One smells horrible, like sulfur, and the other all beautiful and lilac-y. How Indiana Jones.
They, unlike the rare art collector in "The Last Crusade" choose the right one (the stinky one)...and are attacked by a horde of spiders!!! Kara ditches Lorren, as she suspects he wants the rose for himself! How selfish!
She gives the rose to the Firemental horse, dubs him Starfire, and creates an unbreakable bond between the two of them.
They go on their quest: find four magical talismans, one for each element, and bring them back to summon the power crystal, which contains Avalon's magic and will save the Fairy Realms.
Wow. Good luck.
She finds the talismans and brings them back. But Tangoo destroys Starfire and attempts to capture the crystal! To get rid of Kara, he sends her back to school to finish up the school play.
Hahahaha. Calamity. Chaos. Love spells!! Tears of mirth fill my eyes. -_-
Starfire comes back!!! w00t! Because he obtained ANOTHER crystal, which is just as good as the Blue Rose, apparently.
Long story short: they go back. Defeat Tangoo. Starfire is gone, but he will always be with Kara. The play was a success. The five kingdoms are united. Lyra is saved. Lorren and Kara are going steady.
How I miss the uncomplicated Pony Pals and their short, mundane plots.
More notes:
How typical. Kara lands the lead in the school play AND gets a cool, pink costume?
Heh. The other fairies in the play are green, but not Tatiana.
Ah, I'd be frustrated, too.
Emily and Adriane: Aaargh, Karaaaaa, I know you're busy and you have a life, but we're lazy and don't want to do anything without yooooooo.
Kara can't control her magic and is pretty dang depressed. Poor Kara.
And then two magic trackers pop up in her closet. Oookay.
And the porta-portal sucks Kara and Lyra into it.
Aaargh, and they land in a forest where they're attacked by magic trees! What is this, "The Wizard of Oz"?
The Forest Prince rescues them, yelling, "AieOOO!" How intimidating?
LOL, he sounds like Carter dressed as Zorro from "A Cinderella Story".
But if it wasn't a portal that brought Kara here, what was it? Oh, a mirror. OF COURSE.
HAHAHA, Kara calls him Forest Gump. Sorry, it's early in the morning.
Aargh. She tells him to call her Snow White and he takes her seriously. :P
Whoa, random. The d-flies are all, "Back off, bub!" This is the first time they've said anything that actually makes sense.
Whoa, Goblins and Trolls are included in the five kingdoms? I don't care if it's racist, they shouldn't count.
Hm, is this guy evil or what: long green hair tied back, gaunt face, goatee, a hawkish nose, deep black eyes.
Sounds like a goblin-version of Snape.
Of course the Fairy Queen looks like Madonna, but the Troll King is hideous.
Tangoo? What kind of name is that?
Selinda is sexy name; therefore, a sexy queen.
But the Goblin Queen is ugly, therefore her name is Raelda. Not biased.
Apparently the Forest Prince is a bad boy and Kara should not concern herself with him.
Uh oh, they want Kara to show them some magic to prove she's the blazing star. Everybody duck!
She loses control and turns Lyra into a statue!
Oh dear, the only way to cure Lyra is to find the power crystal. Which is what the Five Kingdoms wanted in the first place.
Kara rode a unicorn, so of course she can ride a cute fairy pony!
Did I mention that pony is made out of fire?
DREAMER STARTS SPEAKING IN COMPLETE SENTENCES!!!
ROFL!
Adriane: Joey? I just left him backstage.
Emily: Oh, so that's why you were hanging out in the auditorium.
Adriane: Not! Joey asked me to help him, that's all.
Way to cheat on Zack, Adriane.
Kyle, Kara's brother, is a moron. They talk about magic in front of him and he thinks they're discussing Shakespeare.
And his Shakespearean insults suck. "Hark, what reeky, clay-brained, dewberry arrives?"
Nice cover.
Emily: Kara's sick. You REALLY don't want to go up there.
Heather: She is?
Adriane: She is? Oh, totally.
Emily: She's got a stomach ache.
Adriane: Really bad pimple. On her stomach.
Ha.
Heather: Geez, you guys are weirder than normal.
OMG, they hide a mookrat in Kara's bed and her friends ACTUALLY believe it's her. Wow.
Kyle decides to take the hobgoblin to school...because he thinks it's Joey. How stupid can you get?
No pretty Earth or Water Elemental horses for YOU, Kara. You get a feisty fire stallion.
Veiled sexual imagery?
Joey: Whatsup? Good call on the bulbs - the ones I was using were way too low wattage.
Adriane: Cool.
Why would you publish this book? I'd be too ashamed.
Kyle: Shall I compare thee to a brick outhouse?
Rae: That is so not hilarious.
AAAGH. Musso the hobgoblin is asked to step in for Kara and freaks out, putting a spell on Marcus to make him a REAL donkey.
"Excellent! Best interpretation of a jackass I've seen since Kyle Davies." So true.
Selinda: Don't worry, Princess. The stallion cannot get out.
Kara: Neither can I.
Lol.
What's with the Emily pep talks in every book? They're never any good.
Daaaaang. This boy's about twenty hands high. That's more than 6.5 feet at the shoulder!
Argh, this horse is annoying.
"I AM FIRE! I RUN ALONE!"
Possibly a relative of Sunchaser?
So Kara accidentally hits him with magic. Ouch.
Oh dear. She's stuck in a room...WITH TALKING ACCESSORIES!
Oh my goodness. Oooooh my gosh.
"Stop squirting me, Whiffle!"
"Oh, I can't stand it! I'm delirious with excitement."
EW!!!
Ha ha. A thousand apologies. Like Demon Hunter.
There's a perfume spray bottle SHAPED LIKE A SKUNK. That is sooooo nasty.
There happens to be a Midnight Masquerade Rave! Because a Kara book wouldn't be complete without a party.
Ooh, it's from the Forest Prince.
Kara doesn't have anything to wear! Good thing there's a magic closet!
"I need a ballgown in violet silk, with an embroidered bodice, long sleeves, and a dropped A-line skirt."
Wow. At least she knows what she wants.
Ew, the skunk squirts her with "Morning Pew" perfume.
HA. Goldie the d-fly gets to wear a silver and gold tuxedo.
I think the Forest Prince is a mob boss. How else would he have so much power over the bad fairies?
"Goldie was frolicking in milky moonbeams, sommersaulting with a small flying bear-like creature wearing a tutu and a pirate hat."
Awwwww....
Lol. The Forest Prince is head of a band of rebels. Like Robin Hood!
They're supposed to take off their masks, so Forest Prince does...and there's another mask underneath. Nice.
IT'S THE GOBLIN PRINCE, LORREN!
I guess being Forest Prince gives you more power than being the real prince, because these fairies show NO respect.
Emily opens a portal and tries to get Kara to come home, but ends up with a bunch of dwarves instead.
Oh, and a bulwoggle.
Agh, what's with the bad parenting? They're fighting a dangerous magical animal and Kara's parents aren't the LEAST bit suspicious. And they accept Emily's, "Just helping Kara rehearse!" story.
There's a fox named Cotax. Heh.
It's all good. The next portal will open in 3 years.
Lorren's parents just wouldn't understand the Forest Prince. Emo.
Ugh, hate Emily. And her pep talks.
Adriane makes fun of Lorren. Just because your boyfriend is a freak who lives with mistwolves....
Whoa. Kara and Goldie are bonded? But so are Kara and Lyra?
Fairy blood skips generations, so that explains why Kara is part fairy, but her mom isn't. That is so stupid. Someone obviously never took life science.
Ew. Nice clothes, Lorren.
:O
Tangoo: Well, my obstinate yet positive young prince, if the princess were a magic master, that might be possible, otherwise...good-bye kitty.
"The roses are blue, but only one can be true. The flower with the power is the bloom with the fume. The bud that's a dud seems a rose to the nose."
Duh. The one that doesn't SMELL like a rose is the real one.
What the heck? Tangoo shoots a love spell at Lorren right before he sends them to the Spider Witch's lair...and it hits Goldie!
Right. Adriane's going to play the part of Kara. Complete with pink dress and a blonde wig.
Hahahaha. Ozzie keeps messing up magic!! Silly Ozzie! I freaking hate that ferret.
Wth?? Are her friends really that stupid? How would they mistake dark-eyed, combat-booted Adriane for Kara?
Oh no, the d-flies puke love spells all over Adriane and she falls in love with Marcus. HAHAHAHA. -_-
Now Rae's in love with Kyle!
Oh, and to top it all off, Kara's 3 amigos think Musso is sexy.
This. Is. So. Retarded.
Kara manages to pick the right rose...but is attacked by spiders. Spiders...WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE SPIDERS?
No, Kara, trust Lorren!
She leaves him with the spiders and jumps into the wrong mirror.
Where she meets up with her fairy grandmother, Lucinda!!
They talk about the unicorn jewel.
Aw, Kara remembers how she used to be AND ADMITS SHE WAS A SELFISH LOSER!!
NOOO, the magic is not for Kara!
Oh, because the gift of a blazing star is to make OTHERS shine more brightly, not herself. That's why the magic won't work!
Ha. Kara has a vision of herself at seventeen, working for the Dark Sorceress, and she kills Emily and Adriane and takes their jewels. Lol.
Starfire is a lame name for a horse, but whatever.
Aw, Kara lets Starfire share her past. Now they're bonded fo life!
Their first talisman, made of Water magic, is purple bunny slippers.
Hahaha. She has to make a song on the magical clouds to get the next talisman and sings that "Supernatural High" song. But the next one's a harp? Lame. I like bunnies better.
Next stop, the Mines of Moria.
Oh no, Starfire is losing magic!!!
Wow. They're lost in a maze and use the harp to find which way to go. Smart. That's what Harry should've done in "Goblet of Fire".
Argh. The next talisman is a giant silver heart. Laaame.
The very last one is a sunstone.
Stafire is so screwed.
And there are two Forest Princes, trying to convince Kara to give them the power crystal!
One of them is real. The other is...TANGOO. Told you he was evil.
And it turns out HE turned Lyra into quicksilver.
Aw, he kills Starfire with the other blue rose.
She jumps into the last mirror...and finds herself on stage in the middle of the school play.
Ew. "Come hither, thou cutiest patootiest!'
I would rather kill myself than publish this crap.
Uh oh. Kara tries to say her lines (it's her part, after all), and Adriane attacks her!! "Nobody sweet-talks my jackass!"
Starfire, you're back! You used the second crystal! Way to be selfish!
Emily takes Starfire's reappearance to remind everyone to support Ravenswood Wildlife Preserve!
"Princess, Tangoo betrayed us all!" Duh.
Time for a major magic battle with Tangoo, the proper end to any young adult fantasy novel.
How lame.
"Twinkle twinkle, blazing star...how I wonder when you'll DIE!"
If you're losing to a Snapeish goblin, remember that you shouldn't be afraid of who you are. Works EVERY TIME.
What's with Adriane and all her sucky wolf analogies?
"You can put a wolf in pink clothing, but she's still a wolf!"
Okay, we get it, everyone believes in Kara. Group hug. HURRY UP, this book is boring.
Lyra comes back, which gives Kara the strength she needs to defeat Tangoo.
And she destroys the power crystal. Stupid.
But Starfire sacrifices himself to save Avalon. But Starfire will always be with her, now and forever.
Agh. Now that the Kingdoms are united, all the queens have to fight about is curtains. No joke.
Selinda wants a flowery yellow fabric. Raelda's going for deep blue velvet.
I'm with Raelda.
So they compromise and choose lavender.
Raelda: I've introduced him to every Goblin girl in the kingdom, but I think he has eyes for someone special.
Awwww.
Musso and Sparky give up magic tracking and open their own cheese business! I so wish I was making that up.
Ha. There's another party. Emily wears a sky blue sundress, Adriane wears a white shirt with jeans (how classy), and Kara chooses Capris with a pink tank top. Wow. So much for dressy.
Emily thinks Lorren is hot, too. Back off, Healer.
"Watch it, Prince, your Zorro is leaking."
WHERE?
LAAAAME.
"A friend taught me not to hide who I really am."
The Trolls get the bunny slippers.
The Elves get the harp.
The Dwarves get the heart.
The goblins get the sunstone.
And the Fairies get a red rose Kara constructed out of magic after she ran out of gifts. But the rose contains all four elements working together, while the other talismans only contain one element each. That's a little unfair, don'tcha think?
Kara gets to keep her magic accessories.
Oh dear, the Dark Sorceress is back and is working with the Spider Witch. We'll have to watch out for them next time.
That was a long book. 212 pages is a little ridiculous for an Avalon book. Back to Pony pals!!
Plot:
Kara, who won't settle for being ordinary, has scored the lead in the school play, "A Midsummer Night's Dream". (Lead being Queen Tatiana) However, she is just semi-stressed out, as her fellow mages are depending on her, there are rehearsals every day, and for some reason, she can't get her jewel to work!
Then, one particularly harrowing day, a bunch of fairies pop up in Kara's closet and send her and Lyra to the Fairy Realms!!
Once there, Kara meets the Forest Prince, a Zorro-wannabe. He tells her that the Five Kingdoms are about to meet and need her help.
She goes to the Fairy Ring where the leaders of the Five Kingdoms are. They ask for proof that she is a mage...but Kara loses control of her magic and turns Lyra into quicksilver! The cat beings to melt and if they can't turn her back into a real cat soon, she'll be gone FOREVER.
Sounds ominous.
Kara seeks the help of Tangoo, the Goblin Sorceror, who is so obviously evil, but no one seems to notice.
Back in the real world, a series of "hilarious" situations of mistaken identity and the like take place as Emily and Adriane try to make everything seem normal. Ha. Ha. Ha.
How can Kara help the Kingdoms? First, she has to bond with an Elemental Stallion made of PURE FIRE.
She fails, of course.
Next, she attends a fairy masquerade ball. With the help of some magical talking accessories (pleeease don't inquire further), Kara becomes the belle of the ball! She also meets up with the Forest Prince again and finds out...
HE'S REALLY THE GOBLIN PRINCE LORREN!!!
He's a nice guy, though, who just cares about the environment. Also, Kara finds him rather attractive.
Oh, ha ha ha, those silly mages are ruining the play! I cannot breathe for laughing.
Kara attempts to bond with the Firemental horse again, for her is detrimental to her "quest", but no dice.
She learns from Tangoo that the Firemental will dissolve back into the air if she doesn't find the Blue Rose and give it to him, supplying him with enough magic to complete their quest.
She hasn't even bonded with him yet, but whatever.
She and Lorren go to the Spider Witch's old lair and have to choose between two roses: one is the real thing, the other is an imposter. One smells horrible, like sulfur, and the other all beautiful and lilac-y. How Indiana Jones.
They, unlike the rare art collector in "The Last Crusade" choose the right one (the stinky one)...and are attacked by a horde of spiders!!! Kara ditches Lorren, as she suspects he wants the rose for himself! How selfish!
She gives the rose to the Firemental horse, dubs him Starfire, and creates an unbreakable bond between the two of them.
They go on their quest: find four magical talismans, one for each element, and bring them back to summon the power crystal, which contains Avalon's magic and will save the Fairy Realms.
Wow. Good luck.
She finds the talismans and brings them back. But Tangoo destroys Starfire and attempts to capture the crystal! To get rid of Kara, he sends her back to school to finish up the school play.
Hahahaha. Calamity. Chaos. Love spells!! Tears of mirth fill my eyes. -_-
Starfire comes back!!! w00t! Because he obtained ANOTHER crystal, which is just as good as the Blue Rose, apparently.
Long story short: they go back. Defeat Tangoo. Starfire is gone, but he will always be with Kara. The play was a success. The five kingdoms are united. Lyra is saved. Lorren and Kara are going steady.
How I miss the uncomplicated Pony Pals and their short, mundane plots.
More notes:
How typical. Kara lands the lead in the school play AND gets a cool, pink costume?
Heh. The other fairies in the play are green, but not Tatiana.
Ah, I'd be frustrated, too.
Emily and Adriane: Aaargh, Karaaaaa, I know you're busy and you have a life, but we're lazy and don't want to do anything without yooooooo.
Kara can't control her magic and is pretty dang depressed. Poor Kara.
And then two magic trackers pop up in her closet. Oookay.
And the porta-portal sucks Kara and Lyra into it.
Aaargh, and they land in a forest where they're attacked by magic trees! What is this, "The Wizard of Oz"?
The Forest Prince rescues them, yelling, "AieOOO!" How intimidating?
LOL, he sounds like Carter dressed as Zorro from "A Cinderella Story".
But if it wasn't a portal that brought Kara here, what was it? Oh, a mirror. OF COURSE.
HAHAHA, Kara calls him Forest Gump. Sorry, it's early in the morning.
Aargh. She tells him to call her Snow White and he takes her seriously. :P
Whoa, random. The d-flies are all, "Back off, bub!" This is the first time they've said anything that actually makes sense.
Whoa, Goblins and Trolls are included in the five kingdoms? I don't care if it's racist, they shouldn't count.
Hm, is this guy evil or what: long green hair tied back, gaunt face, goatee, a hawkish nose, deep black eyes.
Sounds like a goblin-version of Snape.
Of course the Fairy Queen looks like Madonna, but the Troll King is hideous.
Tangoo? What kind of name is that?
Selinda is sexy name; therefore, a sexy queen.
But the Goblin Queen is ugly, therefore her name is Raelda. Not biased.
Apparently the Forest Prince is a bad boy and Kara should not concern herself with him.
Uh oh, they want Kara to show them some magic to prove she's the blazing star. Everybody duck!
She loses control and turns Lyra into a statue!
Oh dear, the only way to cure Lyra is to find the power crystal. Which is what the Five Kingdoms wanted in the first place.
Kara rode a unicorn, so of course she can ride a cute fairy pony!
Did I mention that pony is made out of fire?
DREAMER STARTS SPEAKING IN COMPLETE SENTENCES!!!
ROFL!
Adriane: Joey? I just left him backstage.
Emily: Oh, so that's why you were hanging out in the auditorium.
Adriane: Not! Joey asked me to help him, that's all.
Way to cheat on Zack, Adriane.
Kyle, Kara's brother, is a moron. They talk about magic in front of him and he thinks they're discussing Shakespeare.
And his Shakespearean insults suck. "Hark, what reeky, clay-brained, dewberry arrives?"
Nice cover.
Emily: Kara's sick. You REALLY don't want to go up there.
Heather: She is?
Adriane: She is? Oh, totally.
Emily: She's got a stomach ache.
Adriane: Really bad pimple. On her stomach.
Ha.
Heather: Geez, you guys are weirder than normal.
OMG, they hide a mookrat in Kara's bed and her friends ACTUALLY believe it's her. Wow.
Kyle decides to take the hobgoblin to school...because he thinks it's Joey. How stupid can you get?
No pretty Earth or Water Elemental horses for YOU, Kara. You get a feisty fire stallion.
Veiled sexual imagery?
Joey: Whatsup? Good call on the bulbs - the ones I was using were way too low wattage.
Adriane: Cool.
Why would you publish this book? I'd be too ashamed.
Kyle: Shall I compare thee to a brick outhouse?
Rae: That is so not hilarious.
AAAGH. Musso the hobgoblin is asked to step in for Kara and freaks out, putting a spell on Marcus to make him a REAL donkey.
"Excellent! Best interpretation of a jackass I've seen since Kyle Davies." So true.
Selinda: Don't worry, Princess. The stallion cannot get out.
Kara: Neither can I.
Lol.
What's with the Emily pep talks in every book? They're never any good.
Daaaaang. This boy's about twenty hands high. That's more than 6.5 feet at the shoulder!
Argh, this horse is annoying.
"I AM FIRE! I RUN ALONE!"
Possibly a relative of Sunchaser?
So Kara accidentally hits him with magic. Ouch.
Oh dear. She's stuck in a room...WITH TALKING ACCESSORIES!
Oh my goodness. Oooooh my gosh.
"Stop squirting me, Whiffle!"
"Oh, I can't stand it! I'm delirious with excitement."
EW!!!
Ha ha. A thousand apologies. Like Demon Hunter.
There's a perfume spray bottle SHAPED LIKE A SKUNK. That is sooooo nasty.
There happens to be a Midnight Masquerade Rave! Because a Kara book wouldn't be complete without a party.
Ooh, it's from the Forest Prince.
Kara doesn't have anything to wear! Good thing there's a magic closet!
"I need a ballgown in violet silk, with an embroidered bodice, long sleeves, and a dropped A-line skirt."
Wow. At least she knows what she wants.
Ew, the skunk squirts her with "Morning Pew" perfume.
HA. Goldie the d-fly gets to wear a silver and gold tuxedo.
I think the Forest Prince is a mob boss. How else would he have so much power over the bad fairies?
"Goldie was frolicking in milky moonbeams, sommersaulting with a small flying bear-like creature wearing a tutu and a pirate hat."
Awwwww....
Lol. The Forest Prince is head of a band of rebels. Like Robin Hood!
They're supposed to take off their masks, so Forest Prince does...and there's another mask underneath. Nice.
IT'S THE GOBLIN PRINCE, LORREN!
I guess being Forest Prince gives you more power than being the real prince, because these fairies show NO respect.
Emily opens a portal and tries to get Kara to come home, but ends up with a bunch of dwarves instead.
Oh, and a bulwoggle.
Agh, what's with the bad parenting? They're fighting a dangerous magical animal and Kara's parents aren't the LEAST bit suspicious. And they accept Emily's, "Just helping Kara rehearse!" story.
There's a fox named Cotax. Heh.
It's all good. The next portal will open in 3 years.
Lorren's parents just wouldn't understand the Forest Prince. Emo.
Ugh, hate Emily. And her pep talks.
Adriane makes fun of Lorren. Just because your boyfriend is a freak who lives with mistwolves....
Whoa. Kara and Goldie are bonded? But so are Kara and Lyra?
Fairy blood skips generations, so that explains why Kara is part fairy, but her mom isn't. That is so stupid. Someone obviously never took life science.
Ew. Nice clothes, Lorren.
:O
Tangoo: Well, my obstinate yet positive young prince, if the princess were a magic master, that might be possible, otherwise...good-bye kitty.
"The roses are blue, but only one can be true. The flower with the power is the bloom with the fume. The bud that's a dud seems a rose to the nose."
Duh. The one that doesn't SMELL like a rose is the real one.
What the heck? Tangoo shoots a love spell at Lorren right before he sends them to the Spider Witch's lair...and it hits Goldie!
Right. Adriane's going to play the part of Kara. Complete with pink dress and a blonde wig.
Hahahaha. Ozzie keeps messing up magic!! Silly Ozzie! I freaking hate that ferret.
Wth?? Are her friends really that stupid? How would they mistake dark-eyed, combat-booted Adriane for Kara?
Oh no, the d-flies puke love spells all over Adriane and she falls in love with Marcus. HAHAHAHA. -_-
Now Rae's in love with Kyle!
Oh, and to top it all off, Kara's 3 amigos think Musso is sexy.
This. Is. So. Retarded.
Kara manages to pick the right rose...but is attacked by spiders. Spiders...WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE SPIDERS?
No, Kara, trust Lorren!
She leaves him with the spiders and jumps into the wrong mirror.
Where she meets up with her fairy grandmother, Lucinda!!
They talk about the unicorn jewel.
Aw, Kara remembers how she used to be AND ADMITS SHE WAS A SELFISH LOSER!!
NOOO, the magic is not for Kara!
Oh, because the gift of a blazing star is to make OTHERS shine more brightly, not herself. That's why the magic won't work!
Ha. Kara has a vision of herself at seventeen, working for the Dark Sorceress, and she kills Emily and Adriane and takes their jewels. Lol.
Starfire is a lame name for a horse, but whatever.
Aw, Kara lets Starfire share her past. Now they're bonded fo life!
Their first talisman, made of Water magic, is purple bunny slippers.
Hahaha. She has to make a song on the magical clouds to get the next talisman and sings that "Supernatural High" song. But the next one's a harp? Lame. I like bunnies better.
Next stop, the Mines of Moria.
Oh no, Starfire is losing magic!!!
Wow. They're lost in a maze and use the harp to find which way to go. Smart. That's what Harry should've done in "Goblet of Fire".
Argh. The next talisman is a giant silver heart. Laaame.
The very last one is a sunstone.
Stafire is so screwed.
And there are two Forest Princes, trying to convince Kara to give them the power crystal!
One of them is real. The other is...TANGOO. Told you he was evil.
And it turns out HE turned Lyra into quicksilver.
Aw, he kills Starfire with the other blue rose.
She jumps into the last mirror...and finds herself on stage in the middle of the school play.
Ew. "Come hither, thou cutiest patootiest!'
I would rather kill myself than publish this crap.
Uh oh. Kara tries to say her lines (it's her part, after all), and Adriane attacks her!! "Nobody sweet-talks my jackass!"
Starfire, you're back! You used the second crystal! Way to be selfish!
Emily takes Starfire's reappearance to remind everyone to support Ravenswood Wildlife Preserve!
"Princess, Tangoo betrayed us all!" Duh.
Time for a major magic battle with Tangoo, the proper end to any young adult fantasy novel.
How lame.
"Twinkle twinkle, blazing star...how I wonder when you'll DIE!"
If you're losing to a Snapeish goblin, remember that you shouldn't be afraid of who you are. Works EVERY TIME.
What's with Adriane and all her sucky wolf analogies?
"You can put a wolf in pink clothing, but she's still a wolf!"
Okay, we get it, everyone believes in Kara. Group hug. HURRY UP, this book is boring.
Lyra comes back, which gives Kara the strength she needs to defeat Tangoo.
And she destroys the power crystal. Stupid.
But Starfire sacrifices himself to save Avalon. But Starfire will always be with her, now and forever.
Agh. Now that the Kingdoms are united, all the queens have to fight about is curtains. No joke.
Selinda wants a flowery yellow fabric. Raelda's going for deep blue velvet.
I'm with Raelda.
So they compromise and choose lavender.
Raelda: I've introduced him to every Goblin girl in the kingdom, but I think he has eyes for someone special.
Awwww.
Musso and Sparky give up magic tracking and open their own cheese business! I so wish I was making that up.
Ha. There's another party. Emily wears a sky blue sundress, Adriane wears a white shirt with jeans (how classy), and Kara chooses Capris with a pink tank top. Wow. So much for dressy.
Emily thinks Lorren is hot, too. Back off, Healer.
"Watch it, Prince, your Zorro is leaking."
WHERE?
LAAAAME.
"A friend taught me not to hide who I really am."
The Trolls get the bunny slippers.
The Elves get the harp.
The Dwarves get the heart.
The goblins get the sunstone.
And the Fairies get a red rose Kara constructed out of magic after she ran out of gifts. But the rose contains all four elements working together, while the other talismans only contain one element each. That's a little unfair, don'tcha think?
Kara gets to keep her magic accessories.
Oh dear, the Dark Sorceress is back and is working with the Spider Witch. We'll have to watch out for them next time.
That was a long book. 212 pages is a little ridiculous for an Avalon book. Back to Pony pals!!
Friday, December 28, 2007
There's no such thing as a sad ending, or Horseshoe Trilogies #3: Sweet Charity
We're finally done with this series. I'm thinking of making a collage of all the series I've posted on this blog. Lol.
Plot: Josie doesn't want to sell Charity, her specialist most favorite horse, but she has no choice. Now, to add more stress, the Graces have to find a new home.
So Josie is all emo about Charity the ENTIRE TIME. The Taylor family and their daughter Emily are pretty interested in buying her (why is it that no boys ever want to buy a horse??), which makes Josie uber jealous.
Then, one night, Charity disappears, along with all her tack! *gasp* SHE'S BEEN STOLEN!
And we know who the culprit is. Kirsty, a creepy little girl who loves Charity a little TOO much, apparently did it to help Josie?? Whatever.
So Josie goes looking for them and finds them in the boathouse, but then Kirsty has an asthma attack and somehow falls into the river. Josie goes to save her, and they're both about to drown, but Charity saves them both.
Um, yay.
So now that that's all over, Josie's parents start hinting that they've found a NEW OWNER for Charity and she's the BEST OWNER they could find. Josie can't figure it out, but then they tell her that Charity is HERS. Because her dad got a new job and now is uber rich and their new house has a field where they can keep a horse. LAAAAAME.
More notes:
Josie often has odd fantasies involving Charity and herself.... THEY'RE ABOUT RIDING!!! Sickos.
Oh, and in the fantasy, she saves a young man who's broken his leg, and his grandmother lets Charity stay for free in their stables.
Whaaaat? Looking at this cover, Charity doesn't even look CLOSE to flea-bitten. As in the color, not the state.
Josie invites Kirsty over to her house, and then is all, "OMG, SHE'S SO CREEPY AND SHE GETS ON MY NERVES!" Then WHY'D you invite her to your house?
Anna thinks Kirsty is creepy, too. Why? Does she murder animals or play with voodoo dolls?
"'No!' Kirsty said. 'I won't let them take her away from you!'"
Okay...THAT's creepy.
Okay, her parents are sort of poorish, so they're settling on a townhouse with a small backyard, and Josie's all complaining. "THIS ISN'T THE BEST HOUSE!! HOW WILL WE KEEP THE DUCKS AND CHICKENS??" You won't...because you're POOR.
Foreshadowing of the boathouse incident, and how unstable it is....
"They've got an older boy who's had a horse for a while, and now they want a horse for his younger sister. She's been having riding lessons for ages."
Hmm...sounds familiar. What do you know, she has brown hair and freckles!
Oh, if you smile shyly, you must be a nice person.
Josie storms into the house and starts yelling at her dad.
I love how her mom is so blunt and realistic.
"There are three bedrooms, but one of them is tiny, and the kitchen's not enormous, either."
"That doesn't bother me. You know how I feel about cooking."
Um, yeah, but your husband LOVES to cook. Why don't you ask him how HE feels?
Josie and Anna find a field with horses right next to the new house.
Josie: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Me: That there are horses there to take your mind off Charity?
Anna: Oooh! Charity could stay with those horses!
Me: ....
Um, duh, horses are EXPENSIVE.
Ah yes, let's lie and say that Charity has an awful disease.
Oh no, Charity's not in the field! Well, gee, MAYBE SHE'S IN THE BARN!
I'm trying to imagine the damage Josie could do to a potential horse thief.
Anna, Ben, and Josie are being detectives like the Pony Pals.
The thief knew where the key was.... Hm, MAYBE THEY'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE?
Oh, and Kirsty Fisher happens to be missing. What a coincidence.
Argh! Now that they know it's Kirsty, they're like, "Oh, she didn't mean to hurt us, it's all right." Yeah, but she stole your property. Doesn't that mean anything to you?
They didn't get any phonecalls from Mrs. Fisher...and it's Josie's fault.
"I've got a feeling she was trying to help me." Yeah, in a messed up against-the-law way.
Oh, and it turns out Kirsty is asthmatic. Just to add to the drama.
Why would you look for a girl on horseback with bikes? Wouldn't you also use horses?
Yeah, duh, use Faith.
Gotcha, Anna and Ben's dad is Spanish. Makes sense.
Faith, like Acorn, is a good detective.
Kirsty's inhaler reminded me of how my brother used to use an inhaler for allergies.
"No one's angry at you, Kirsty." I am.
Argh, she has a serious asthma attack. Just like in "Are We There Yet?".
Josie tries to throw the inhaler to her...and misses by TWO FEET. Nice throw.
Kirsty falls into the river. Wow.
Smart, go after her. Now you'll both drown, although what else could you do?
Charity saves them. This would be a good episode of "Miracle Pets".
Should I call the police first, or my parents? Police, police! She calls her parents.
Anna: I called the farmer who owns the field, but he says someone already asked him to keep a space for a horse!
Josie: Darn.
Me: ....
"My own sweet Charity. Now nothing's going to take her away from me!"
Except for possibly death and disease.
So yeah. A really awful Pony Pals tomorrow. Yaay, haven't done one of those in a while.
Plot: Josie doesn't want to sell Charity, her specialist most favorite horse, but she has no choice. Now, to add more stress, the Graces have to find a new home.
So Josie is all emo about Charity the ENTIRE TIME. The Taylor family and their daughter Emily are pretty interested in buying her (why is it that no boys ever want to buy a horse??), which makes Josie uber jealous.
Then, one night, Charity disappears, along with all her tack! *gasp* SHE'S BEEN STOLEN!
And we know who the culprit is. Kirsty, a creepy little girl who loves Charity a little TOO much, apparently did it to help Josie?? Whatever.
So Josie goes looking for them and finds them in the boathouse, but then Kirsty has an asthma attack and somehow falls into the river. Josie goes to save her, and they're both about to drown, but Charity saves them both.
Um, yay.
So now that that's all over, Josie's parents start hinting that they've found a NEW OWNER for Charity and she's the BEST OWNER they could find. Josie can't figure it out, but then they tell her that Charity is HERS. Because her dad got a new job and now is uber rich and their new house has a field where they can keep a horse. LAAAAAME.
More notes:
Josie often has odd fantasies involving Charity and herself.... THEY'RE ABOUT RIDING!!! Sickos.
Oh, and in the fantasy, she saves a young man who's broken his leg, and his grandmother lets Charity stay for free in their stables.
Whaaaat? Looking at this cover, Charity doesn't even look CLOSE to flea-bitten. As in the color, not the state.
Josie invites Kirsty over to her house, and then is all, "OMG, SHE'S SO CREEPY AND SHE GETS ON MY NERVES!" Then WHY'D you invite her to your house?
Anna thinks Kirsty is creepy, too. Why? Does she murder animals or play with voodoo dolls?
"'No!' Kirsty said. 'I won't let them take her away from you!'"
Okay...THAT's creepy.
Okay, her parents are sort of poorish, so they're settling on a townhouse with a small backyard, and Josie's all complaining. "THIS ISN'T THE BEST HOUSE!! HOW WILL WE KEEP THE DUCKS AND CHICKENS??" You won't...because you're POOR.
Foreshadowing of the boathouse incident, and how unstable it is....
"They've got an older boy who's had a horse for a while, and now they want a horse for his younger sister. She's been having riding lessons for ages."
Hmm...sounds familiar. What do you know, she has brown hair and freckles!
Oh, if you smile shyly, you must be a nice person.
Josie storms into the house and starts yelling at her dad.
I love how her mom is so blunt and realistic.
"There are three bedrooms, but one of them is tiny, and the kitchen's not enormous, either."
"That doesn't bother me. You know how I feel about cooking."
Um, yeah, but your husband LOVES to cook. Why don't you ask him how HE feels?
Josie and Anna find a field with horses right next to the new house.
Josie: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Me: That there are horses there to take your mind off Charity?
Anna: Oooh! Charity could stay with those horses!
Me: ....
Um, duh, horses are EXPENSIVE.
Ah yes, let's lie and say that Charity has an awful disease.
Oh no, Charity's not in the field! Well, gee, MAYBE SHE'S IN THE BARN!
I'm trying to imagine the damage Josie could do to a potential horse thief.
Anna, Ben, and Josie are being detectives like the Pony Pals.
The thief knew where the key was.... Hm, MAYBE THEY'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE?
Oh, and Kirsty Fisher happens to be missing. What a coincidence.
Argh! Now that they know it's Kirsty, they're like, "Oh, she didn't mean to hurt us, it's all right." Yeah, but she stole your property. Doesn't that mean anything to you?
They didn't get any phonecalls from Mrs. Fisher...and it's Josie's fault.
"I've got a feeling she was trying to help me." Yeah, in a messed up against-the-law way.
Oh, and it turns out Kirsty is asthmatic. Just to add to the drama.
Why would you look for a girl on horseback with bikes? Wouldn't you also use horses?
Yeah, duh, use Faith.
Gotcha, Anna and Ben's dad is Spanish. Makes sense.
Faith, like Acorn, is a good detective.
Kirsty's inhaler reminded me of how my brother used to use an inhaler for allergies.
"No one's angry at you, Kirsty." I am.
Argh, she has a serious asthma attack. Just like in "Are We There Yet?".
Josie tries to throw the inhaler to her...and misses by TWO FEET. Nice throw.
Kirsty falls into the river. Wow.
Smart, go after her. Now you'll both drown, although what else could you do?
Charity saves them. This would be a good episode of "Miracle Pets".
Should I call the police first, or my parents? Police, police! She calls her parents.
Anna: I called the farmer who owns the field, but he says someone already asked him to keep a space for a horse!
Josie: Darn.
Me: ....
"My own sweet Charity. Now nothing's going to take her away from me!"
Except for possibly death and disease.
So yeah. A really awful Pony Pals tomorrow. Yaay, haven't done one of those in a while.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Where are they getting these titles, or Horseshoe Trilogies #2: Last Hope
Yeah, so I haven't really posted at all since Winter Break started. Whatever. I haven't been reading a lot. Oh, and I've been playing Sims.
Plot: We're back with Josie Grace, the annoying British girl with a love of horses. This time, however, they're getting rid of Hope, the "ugly" horse.
And no one likes Hope because she's SOOOOOOOOOOO ugly.
Yeah, people are SO AWFUL.
So all Josie does is walk around feeling depressed the entire time, because no one likes Hope, and then this old woman from an animal sanctuary offers to buy her, and Josie is like, "NO WAY!!!"
Um, nice, Josie.
Moron.
So this woman in charge of a home for...for...I think it's either abused children or children with ADHD...something. Anyway, the children go there to get professional care and love and stuff, and the woman wants to use Hope for all that fun stuff.
Mary Grace is all, "I don't know," but then the kids come and jump on Hope and don't think she's ugly, and Hope loves it.
Yaaay.
Laaaaaaaame.
More notes:
Hope looks fine to me on the cover, and I really doubt that people make THAT big a deal about how she looks. Stupid.
Yay, lying is condoned.
Okay, all they do in this book is go, "Oh, poor Hope, she's soooo ugly. She'll never be sold." Well, no, not with THAT kind of attitude.
I just think this is weird:
Tom: And how's Jill coping? I used to look after her chestnut horse, Marmalade, you know. She was so upset when he had to be sold.
Not only is Marmalade BAY (totally different from chestnut), but why did he feel the need to throw "chestnut" in there? You could've just said, "...after her horse, Marmalade..." IT JUST WEIRDS ME OUT!! IT SOUNDS SO WRONG!!!
Okay, I can kind of see why people wouldn't want to buy Faith, because I have a HUUUGE prejudice against albino horses, and get really grossed out whenever I see one. Like, they seriously make me want to vomit.
I've noticed that every chapter ends with Josie either saying something moving/touching/emotional or thinking something desperate or sad.
Example: What if no one would look beyond Hope's plain appearance and see her sweet nature? What would happen then?
"She liked Ben, though they weren't best friends in the way that she and Anna were."
Umm...that makes it sound like everyone she knows HAS to be her best friend. Or is that just me??? AARGH.
If you were trotting, wouldn't you be thrown back and forth, not side to side? Just wondering.
Oh dear, Hope gets sweet itch!!!
Okay, it really annoys me when people that are the teensiest bit older than me are all, "Respect your elders." It kind of peeves me off and 9 times out of 10 I'm bigger than they are, so it's like, "Do you REALLY want to mess with this??"
"I'm not a beginner. I've had five lessons."
Oh, then that means I'm a freaking expert.
I suppose we as readers are supposed to be proud of Mary Grace for standing up for Hope and herself, but she gets pwned comeback wise.
Josie's father is putting on a musical. What teacher in his right mind would put on "Grease"? Ugh, I hate what Josie says.
"They're doing a version of Grease - you know, that rock-and-roll musical. John Travolta was in the film."
Um, duh. I personally don't know anybody who hasn't heard of Grease.
I don't know why EVERYONE is so opposed to Hope having to go to the animal sanctuary. People give up their dogs and cats to the Humane Society when they want them to find a good home, so why is it a bad idea for horses???
Haaaa. "There was something moving in Mrs. Peabody's bosom!" Chestburster!!
Aaaw, it turns out to be a baby bat. I love bats.
Wth, Anna and Ben have dark hair, eyes, and olive skin. Their mom has blonde hair and blue eyes. ???????? IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE??
Okay, Josie and Anna are out on a ride when these boys start harassing them. Hm, they're on bikes and are in 8th grade...sound familiar?? Anna's all, "Ignore them." !!!!!!! Yeah, thanks, it never WORKS.
BAM!
Tommy Rand (JK!): Look at the ugly one! What's the matter with her? Looks like all her hair's dropping out. Couldn't you find a better horse to ride than that old nag?
Anna: She's got a horse version of acne. Something you'd know all about. Maybe there's a good cream you could recommend?
Ugh, and Josie's all, "You're making it worse!" Picturing her with her snotty British accent and breathy voice. HATE HATE HATE.
Oooh, that boy's mad, he just called you a Stuck-Up Princess!!!
Yeah, very classy, Dad. "You shouldn't be sad, I'M the one trapped with teenagers singing showtunes!"
Josie is amazed that a kid her age could draw well. Or more like because SHE can't draw like Michelangelo, no one else should.
Why would you want to go see some stables if there are no horses in them, when you could be looking at RABBITS??
"Oh no, you don't want Hope. She's a bit stocky with quite a broad back."
Like abused/neglected/afflicted children are going to care. I wouldn't. Um, unless it was albino....
Josie: Oh, stop! I think I like the old, tactless Anna better!
:O That's so mean. I'd be so offended if one of my friends said that to me. Okay, whenever Anna semi-insults Josie, Josie freaks out, but whenever she insults Anna, it's comic relief?
No, no, don't tell a story, please, Josie, NOOOOO.
Tommy just randomly screams??
OH NO, one of the children that comes to visit Hope is BLIND!! Aaagh, I know where they're going with this: they're going to make a big deal about her being blind, so she doesn't care how a horse looks!! NOOOO, this is NOT the Lifetime Channel!!
There she goes again, getting choked up.
Aaah, I started drooling when they were talking about Chinese food.
Lol, chinois. Je ne parle japonais. Tu parles japonais??
Lynne, Anna's mom, is wearing a denim shirt.
Ugh, Lynne and Josie point out in front of everybody that Anna is tactless. Sooo mean.
WHY DO THEY ALWAYS HAVE TO VOTE ON EVERYTHING?? It's so obvious that Hope is perfect with children and would love to live at the Friendship House.
"Apples, carrots, and turnips had been hung across the lower part of the stable doors, and Hope and Charity were busy nibbling them off their strings."
What? That sounds like a colic situation. The Pony Pals would not approve.
Whaaa?? "The joint's jumping." That sounds rad, cat. Golly gee, I sure darn wish there was a hop tonight, so we could all JAM!!
Ugh, and the book ends with a bunch of little kids all hugging and kissing Hope and Hope looking SOOO happy. Gag.
So yeah. A VERY, VERY awful Unicorns of Balinor tomorrow. If you don't hate Ari now, you most likely will tomorrow. Maybe a Madison Finn if I'm not busy.
Plot: We're back with Josie Grace, the annoying British girl with a love of horses. This time, however, they're getting rid of Hope, the "ugly" horse.
And no one likes Hope because she's SOOOOOOOOOOO ugly.
Yeah, people are SO AWFUL.
So all Josie does is walk around feeling depressed the entire time, because no one likes Hope, and then this old woman from an animal sanctuary offers to buy her, and Josie is like, "NO WAY!!!"
Um, nice, Josie.
Moron.
So this woman in charge of a home for...for...I think it's either abused children or children with ADHD...something. Anyway, the children go there to get professional care and love and stuff, and the woman wants to use Hope for all that fun stuff.
Mary Grace is all, "I don't know," but then the kids come and jump on Hope and don't think she's ugly, and Hope loves it.
Yaaay.
Laaaaaaaame.
More notes:
Hope looks fine to me on the cover, and I really doubt that people make THAT big a deal about how she looks. Stupid.
Yay, lying is condoned.
Okay, all they do in this book is go, "Oh, poor Hope, she's soooo ugly. She'll never be sold." Well, no, not with THAT kind of attitude.
I just think this is weird:
Tom: And how's Jill coping? I used to look after her chestnut horse, Marmalade, you know. She was so upset when he had to be sold.
Not only is Marmalade BAY (totally different from chestnut), but why did he feel the need to throw "chestnut" in there? You could've just said, "...after her horse, Marmalade..." IT JUST WEIRDS ME OUT!! IT SOUNDS SO WRONG!!!
Okay, I can kind of see why people wouldn't want to buy Faith, because I have a HUUUGE prejudice against albino horses, and get really grossed out whenever I see one. Like, they seriously make me want to vomit.
I've noticed that every chapter ends with Josie either saying something moving/touching/emotional or thinking something desperate or sad.
Example: What if no one would look beyond Hope's plain appearance and see her sweet nature? What would happen then?
"She liked Ben, though they weren't best friends in the way that she and Anna were."
Umm...that makes it sound like everyone she knows HAS to be her best friend. Or is that just me??? AARGH.
If you were trotting, wouldn't you be thrown back and forth, not side to side? Just wondering.
Oh dear, Hope gets sweet itch!!!
Okay, it really annoys me when people that are the teensiest bit older than me are all, "Respect your elders." It kind of peeves me off and 9 times out of 10 I'm bigger than they are, so it's like, "Do you REALLY want to mess with this??"
"I'm not a beginner. I've had five lessons."
Oh, then that means I'm a freaking expert.
I suppose we as readers are supposed to be proud of Mary Grace for standing up for Hope and herself, but she gets pwned comeback wise.
Josie's father is putting on a musical. What teacher in his right mind would put on "Grease"? Ugh, I hate what Josie says.
"They're doing a version of Grease - you know, that rock-and-roll musical. John Travolta was in the film."
Um, duh. I personally don't know anybody who hasn't heard of Grease.
I don't know why EVERYONE is so opposed to Hope having to go to the animal sanctuary. People give up their dogs and cats to the Humane Society when they want them to find a good home, so why is it a bad idea for horses???
Haaaa. "There was something moving in Mrs. Peabody's bosom!" Chestburster!!
Aaaw, it turns out to be a baby bat. I love bats.
Wth, Anna and Ben have dark hair, eyes, and olive skin. Their mom has blonde hair and blue eyes. ???????? IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE??
Okay, Josie and Anna are out on a ride when these boys start harassing them. Hm, they're on bikes and are in 8th grade...sound familiar?? Anna's all, "Ignore them." !!!!!!! Yeah, thanks, it never WORKS.
BAM!
Tommy Rand (JK!): Look at the ugly one! What's the matter with her? Looks like all her hair's dropping out. Couldn't you find a better horse to ride than that old nag?
Anna: She's got a horse version of acne. Something you'd know all about. Maybe there's a good cream you could recommend?
Ugh, and Josie's all, "You're making it worse!" Picturing her with her snotty British accent and breathy voice. HATE HATE HATE.
Oooh, that boy's mad, he just called you a Stuck-Up Princess!!!
Yeah, very classy, Dad. "You shouldn't be sad, I'M the one trapped with teenagers singing showtunes!"
Josie is amazed that a kid her age could draw well. Or more like because SHE can't draw like Michelangelo, no one else should.
Why would you want to go see some stables if there are no horses in them, when you could be looking at RABBITS??
"Oh no, you don't want Hope. She's a bit stocky with quite a broad back."
Like abused/neglected/afflicted children are going to care. I wouldn't. Um, unless it was albino....
Josie: Oh, stop! I think I like the old, tactless Anna better!
:O That's so mean. I'd be so offended if one of my friends said that to me. Okay, whenever Anna semi-insults Josie, Josie freaks out, but whenever she insults Anna, it's comic relief?
No, no, don't tell a story, please, Josie, NOOOOO.
Tommy just randomly screams??
OH NO, one of the children that comes to visit Hope is BLIND!! Aaagh, I know where they're going with this: they're going to make a big deal about her being blind, so she doesn't care how a horse looks!! NOOOO, this is NOT the Lifetime Channel!!
There she goes again, getting choked up.
Aaah, I started drooling when they were talking about Chinese food.
Lol, chinois. Je ne parle japonais. Tu parles japonais??
Lynne, Anna's mom, is wearing a denim shirt.
Ugh, Lynne and Josie point out in front of everybody that Anna is tactless. Sooo mean.
WHY DO THEY ALWAYS HAVE TO VOTE ON EVERYTHING?? It's so obvious that Hope is perfect with children and would love to live at the Friendship House.
"Apples, carrots, and turnips had been hung across the lower part of the stable doors, and Hope and Charity were busy nibbling them off their strings."
What? That sounds like a colic situation. The Pony Pals would not approve.
Whaaa?? "The joint's jumping." That sounds rad, cat. Golly gee, I sure darn wish there was a hop tonight, so we could all JAM!!
Ugh, and the book ends with a bunch of little kids all hugging and kissing Hope and Hope looking SOOO happy. Gag.
So yeah. A VERY, VERY awful Unicorns of Balinor tomorrow. If you don't hate Ari now, you most likely will tomorrow. Maybe a Madison Finn if I'm not busy.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Let's name all of our horses after Hallmark card values, or Horseshoe Trilogies #1: Keeping Faith
I'm sure that title was supposed to be "clever", seeing as it had a double meaning and all.
I would much rather be playing Sims (although I do have to do homework), but I'm sort of behind schedule-ish. Like I even have a schedule. Oh well, tomorrow I'll post a Pony Pals. But this book was so ridiculously boring.
Plot: Josie Grace lives with her mommy and daddy in a little house in England, where they have stables that Mary Grace (her mother) uses to teach in. They also have three beautiful horses; Faith, Hope, and Charity (gag).
But all that is changing.
When they first moved into their house, they didn't have much money, because teachers and riding instructors don't get paid very much, but the little old lady who owned the house let them rent it and the stables for very little money. Unfortunately, she just died, and now her mean old nephew is taking over the property and throwing the Graces out. Harsh. Since they probably won't be able to find [cheap] accomodations for their horses, the Graces will have to sell them, starting with Faith.
Josie is beside herself. Faith has been around even she was born!
Bla bla bla, they meet a few potential buyers, but they either don't know how to take care of a horse or they want to ride her too hard; Faith is old and would rather be a pet or companion than a show jumper. Finally, it's between two families: the Hyde-Whites, a very rich family that has many horses; or the Randalls, a very boring family that happens to be moving to Scotland. Josie doesn't know which is worse: if Faith goes to the Hyde-Whites, she will be adequately cared for but not loved; if she goes to the Randalls, she has to move to Scotland!
Enter Anna Marshall. Anna is Josie's bubbly loud-mouthed best friend, also a horse freak. When Josie tells her about the potential buyers, Anna freaks out; she knows Harriet Hyde-White and the girl is a snob!!! That girl doesn't deserve a horse! She convinces Josie to think so, too, and the two concoct a plan to keep the Hyde-Whites away forever.
The facts are these: Anna met Harriet at a gymkhana event a million years ago and Harriet called Anna's horse Hope (another one of Josie's beloved equines) ugly. Forget that it's been several years since the incident. Forget the fact that Josie herself admitted that Hope wasn't the best-looking animal in the world. No, Harriet was and is a snob, and that's all that matters.
When Harriet and her father come to look at Faith, Anna tells Harriet that Faith bites people and that's why she's being sold. Harriet flips out and tells her father, who in turn gets pretty POed and cusses out Mary Grace, then hops in his Porsche and leaves. Mary Grace is all, "Wth????" Then Ben, Anna's twin brother, comes in with a nasty bite mark on his arm. Turns out it's just makeup he was planning to use to scare Harriet, but there turned out to be no need.
So Mary Grace bans the Marshall twins from their house.
Then the Randalls call and say that they're not moving to Scotland, so they can't buy Faith. Whaaat?? That makes no sense. Now there are no buyers for Faith.
Enter Jill Atterbury. Jill was in a horrible car accident that badly injured her legs. She'd had a horse before the accident, but her parents sold it right after; I forget why, but I think it had something to do with either hospital bills or the doctor saying something like, "She shall never ride again."
Mary Grace and Josie visit the Atterburys, who are very nice people. Jill is funny, easy to talk to, and loves horses. Even I liked her, which is saying something. She meets Faith and falls in love, so Josie gives her "permission" to buy Faith. :P Like it was even your decision. And Jill gives Josie her "permission" to visit Faith. Ha. Now everyone's happy. Yay.
Too bad they'll have to sell Hope in the next book. Just saying.
More notes:
Anna and Josie met when Anna was the new girl in school and Josie had to cart her around the school. Ugh, don't you hate that? I've had to do both and I'm not very good at either. Just saying.
Josie is really mean about bad riders. "You're really getting the hang of the rising trot." "It's about time...."
Wait a minute. They make it sound like Mrs. Wetherall's nephew is such a horrible person, but it's HIS property and he has the right to do what he's doing. Besides, it seems fair. He could've upped the rent.
Ha. Teachers don't get squat. Never become a teacher.
:O Mary Grace tells the story of how she first found Faith, and she convinces Faith's owner that her son is too fat to ride!!! That's so mean!!!!
And she blows ALL her savings on Faith. Yeah, she and her husband are newlyweds and he's a TEACHER, so they don't have that much money to BEGIN with. Nice going, stupid.
Oh, and the husband's cool with it.
Josie brags that she's never had her dad as a teacher. Shut up, I have. XP
Here it is, on page 18, in black and white:
Even Josie had to admit that Hope was not the most beautiful horse in the world. She had a long, straight face with rather small eyes, and an especially broad back.
Oh. No. They're eating SPAGHETTI for dinner.
Mr. Grace jokes about selling his daughter. That is so not funny. Like, seriously, people do that.
Wth, there's a character named Emma who sounds just like me when she rides. "Can't we canter now? This is boring!"
Josie is all mad that Faith might move to Scotland because "she'll never see her again". Yeah, that's generally what happens when you sell an animal.
Mr. Hyde-White might not be a nice guy, but he knows his stuff.
AAAARGH! Just because people don't talk to other people doesn't mean they're stuck up! SHE'S JUST SHY!!
Shut up, Anna; where Faith goes is not your decision.
Okay, Anna AND Josie have both called Hope ugly. This is the "really mean thing" Harriet said to Anna:
"It'll take more than a braided mane to make the creature you're on look halfway decent."
I can see how that's kind of mean, but if they've admitted she's ugly, why is it a big deal? I'm probably going to get beaten up for this.
Isobel really bugs me. I don't know why, but she REALLY does.
Anna thinks out loud, so she's talking about Josie probably never seeing Faith again, and Josie's all, "THANKS FOR RUINING MY DAY!!!" Geez, PMS?
I LOVE PALOMINOS!
Ha. "She has a marvelous seat." Not as marvelous as my seat. I'm rather proud of it.
Yeah, so they're "cold" and impersonal people. But they're also rich and local, and Faith will be treated well. Suck it up, Josie. You need the money anyway.
Mary Grace is way cool. She tells Josie to suck it up, too.
They have to pay for the school bus???
"Come on, it's the first time we've been late this week."
"Well done! It's only Tuesday!"
Josie, you're a pushover.
You are, too, Ben.
AAARGH, this is the third time someone has used the word "immaculate" in conversation!!! WHO EVEN SAYS IMMACULATE!!!?? NOT 12-YEAR-OLD GIRLS!!! Which reminds me of gross Bratz boy....
:O I would be soooo mad if my parents sold my horse. Even if I couldn't ever ride again, I'd still keep him as a pet/companion/BFF/friend.
Aaargh, they make Harriet sound like such a snob. They also make it sound like me. >:P
Ha, Ben and Anna get banished. Losers.
I think Mary Grace is drunk. She starts babbling about Mr. Hyde-white and how she wants to "teach that rascal a lesson".
Anna: I never thought Harriet would make such a fuss!
Now you're blaming her?? Yeah, people tend to get mad when it turns out they're being conned.
WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE??? Josie tells Anna about Jill, who can't ride, wanting a horse.
Anna: What, is she crazy or something?
HELLO! SHE CAN KEEP IT AS A FREAKING PET! RIDING ISN'T THE ONLY THING TO DO WITH HORSES!
Jill isn't weird about her disability, and she's an optimist. She's also funny. I like her already.
SHE HAS POSTERS OF HORSES ALL OVER HER WALLS. Jealous.
Way to be sensitive, Josie.
Jill: That's my favorite [poster]. I lie in bed sometimes looking and it and imagining I'm on his back, riding off into the sunset.
Josie: Doesn't that make you feel worse?
AAAGH, MIDNIGHT: another super obvious horse name.
I don't think I've ever described anyone or anything as a big soppy marshmallow.
NO, JILL, NO! Oh well. She lets Josie come visit Faith whenever.
Ugh, Mary Grace justifies Anna's behavior. "You saved me from selling Faith to the Hyde-Whites."
Ugh, and it ends with Josie sobbing and saying, "Perfect." SHUT UP.
That was sooo boring. Tomorrow I'll post another Pony Pal, followed by the second Avalon, which is about Kara, so it should be interesting.
I would much rather be playing Sims (although I do have to do homework), but I'm sort of behind schedule-ish. Like I even have a schedule. Oh well, tomorrow I'll post a Pony Pals. But this book was so ridiculously boring.
Plot: Josie Grace lives with her mommy and daddy in a little house in England, where they have stables that Mary Grace (her mother) uses to teach in. They also have three beautiful horses; Faith, Hope, and Charity (gag).
But all that is changing.
When they first moved into their house, they didn't have much money, because teachers and riding instructors don't get paid very much, but the little old lady who owned the house let them rent it and the stables for very little money. Unfortunately, she just died, and now her mean old nephew is taking over the property and throwing the Graces out. Harsh. Since they probably won't be able to find [cheap] accomodations for their horses, the Graces will have to sell them, starting with Faith.
Josie is beside herself. Faith has been around even she was born!
Bla bla bla, they meet a few potential buyers, but they either don't know how to take care of a horse or they want to ride her too hard; Faith is old and would rather be a pet or companion than a show jumper. Finally, it's between two families: the Hyde-Whites, a very rich family that has many horses; or the Randalls, a very boring family that happens to be moving to Scotland. Josie doesn't know which is worse: if Faith goes to the Hyde-Whites, she will be adequately cared for but not loved; if she goes to the Randalls, she has to move to Scotland!
Enter Anna Marshall. Anna is Josie's bubbly loud-mouthed best friend, also a horse freak. When Josie tells her about the potential buyers, Anna freaks out; she knows Harriet Hyde-White and the girl is a snob!!! That girl doesn't deserve a horse! She convinces Josie to think so, too, and the two concoct a plan to keep the Hyde-Whites away forever.
The facts are these: Anna met Harriet at a gymkhana event a million years ago and Harriet called Anna's horse Hope (another one of Josie's beloved equines) ugly. Forget that it's been several years since the incident. Forget the fact that Josie herself admitted that Hope wasn't the best-looking animal in the world. No, Harriet was and is a snob, and that's all that matters.
When Harriet and her father come to look at Faith, Anna tells Harriet that Faith bites people and that's why she's being sold. Harriet flips out and tells her father, who in turn gets pretty POed and cusses out Mary Grace, then hops in his Porsche and leaves. Mary Grace is all, "Wth????" Then Ben, Anna's twin brother, comes in with a nasty bite mark on his arm. Turns out it's just makeup he was planning to use to scare Harriet, but there turned out to be no need.
So Mary Grace bans the Marshall twins from their house.
Then the Randalls call and say that they're not moving to Scotland, so they can't buy Faith. Whaaat?? That makes no sense. Now there are no buyers for Faith.
Enter Jill Atterbury. Jill was in a horrible car accident that badly injured her legs. She'd had a horse before the accident, but her parents sold it right after; I forget why, but I think it had something to do with either hospital bills or the doctor saying something like, "She shall never ride again."
Mary Grace and Josie visit the Atterburys, who are very nice people. Jill is funny, easy to talk to, and loves horses. Even I liked her, which is saying something. She meets Faith and falls in love, so Josie gives her "permission" to buy Faith. :P Like it was even your decision. And Jill gives Josie her "permission" to visit Faith. Ha. Now everyone's happy. Yay.
Too bad they'll have to sell Hope in the next book. Just saying.
More notes:
Anna and Josie met when Anna was the new girl in school and Josie had to cart her around the school. Ugh, don't you hate that? I've had to do both and I'm not very good at either. Just saying.
Josie is really mean about bad riders. "You're really getting the hang of the rising trot." "It's about time...."
Wait a minute. They make it sound like Mrs. Wetherall's nephew is such a horrible person, but it's HIS property and he has the right to do what he's doing. Besides, it seems fair. He could've upped the rent.
Ha. Teachers don't get squat. Never become a teacher.
:O Mary Grace tells the story of how she first found Faith, and she convinces Faith's owner that her son is too fat to ride!!! That's so mean!!!!
And she blows ALL her savings on Faith. Yeah, she and her husband are newlyweds and he's a TEACHER, so they don't have that much money to BEGIN with. Nice going, stupid.
Oh, and the husband's cool with it.
Josie brags that she's never had her dad as a teacher. Shut up, I have. XP
Here it is, on page 18, in black and white:
Even Josie had to admit that Hope was not the most beautiful horse in the world. She had a long, straight face with rather small eyes, and an especially broad back.
Oh. No. They're eating SPAGHETTI for dinner.
Mr. Grace jokes about selling his daughter. That is so not funny. Like, seriously, people do that.
Wth, there's a character named Emma who sounds just like me when she rides. "Can't we canter now? This is boring!"
Josie is all mad that Faith might move to Scotland because "she'll never see her again". Yeah, that's generally what happens when you sell an animal.
Mr. Hyde-White might not be a nice guy, but he knows his stuff.
AAAARGH! Just because people don't talk to other people doesn't mean they're stuck up! SHE'S JUST SHY!!
Shut up, Anna; where Faith goes is not your decision.
Okay, Anna AND Josie have both called Hope ugly. This is the "really mean thing" Harriet said to Anna:
"It'll take more than a braided mane to make the creature you're on look halfway decent."
I can see how that's kind of mean, but if they've admitted she's ugly, why is it a big deal? I'm probably going to get beaten up for this.
Isobel really bugs me. I don't know why, but she REALLY does.
Anna thinks out loud, so she's talking about Josie probably never seeing Faith again, and Josie's all, "THANKS FOR RUINING MY DAY!!!" Geez, PMS?
I LOVE PALOMINOS!
Ha. "She has a marvelous seat." Not as marvelous as my seat. I'm rather proud of it.
Yeah, so they're "cold" and impersonal people. But they're also rich and local, and Faith will be treated well. Suck it up, Josie. You need the money anyway.
Mary Grace is way cool. She tells Josie to suck it up, too.
They have to pay for the school bus???
"Come on, it's the first time we've been late this week."
"Well done! It's only Tuesday!"
Josie, you're a pushover.
You are, too, Ben.
AAARGH, this is the third time someone has used the word "immaculate" in conversation!!! WHO EVEN SAYS IMMACULATE!!!?? NOT 12-YEAR-OLD GIRLS!!! Which reminds me of gross Bratz boy....
:O I would be soooo mad if my parents sold my horse. Even if I couldn't ever ride again, I'd still keep him as a pet/companion/BFF/friend.
Aaargh, they make Harriet sound like such a snob. They also make it sound like me. >:P
Ha, Ben and Anna get banished. Losers.
I think Mary Grace is drunk. She starts babbling about Mr. Hyde-white and how she wants to "teach that rascal a lesson".
Anna: I never thought Harriet would make such a fuss!
Now you're blaming her?? Yeah, people tend to get mad when it turns out they're being conned.
WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE??? Josie tells Anna about Jill, who can't ride, wanting a horse.
Anna: What, is she crazy or something?
HELLO! SHE CAN KEEP IT AS A FREAKING PET! RIDING ISN'T THE ONLY THING TO DO WITH HORSES!
Jill isn't weird about her disability, and she's an optimist. She's also funny. I like her already.
SHE HAS POSTERS OF HORSES ALL OVER HER WALLS. Jealous.
Way to be sensitive, Josie.
Jill: That's my favorite [poster]. I lie in bed sometimes looking and it and imagining I'm on his back, riding off into the sunset.
Josie: Doesn't that make you feel worse?
AAAGH, MIDNIGHT: another super obvious horse name.
I don't think I've ever described anyone or anything as a big soppy marshmallow.
NO, JILL, NO! Oh well. She lets Josie come visit Faith whenever.
Ugh, Mary Grace justifies Anna's behavior. "You saved me from selling Faith to the Hyde-Whites."
Ugh, and it ends with Josie sobbing and saying, "Perfect." SHUT UP.
That was sooo boring. Tomorrow I'll post another Pony Pal, followed by the second Avalon, which is about Kara, so it should be interesting.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Every journey begins with a step, or Unicorns of Balinor #1: The Road to Balinor
I used to LOVE this series. I mean, an author that catered to unicorn-loving adolescents was good enough for me. I wasn't as critical than as I am now. Rereading this, I have NO IDEA why I liked it so much. Actually, I recall really hating this first one, but the rest of the series tickled my fancy, lol.
Plot: Arianna Langley doesn't remember anything. No, she does not have short-term memory loss, but she was in a car accident recently. That explains why she's in a wheelchair and her legs hurt so badly. But two people named Ann and Frank come to the hospital and insist that she is their foster daughter, and that she was in a car accident with her horse, Chase, and now he has a huge scar on his head. They take her and a mysterious dog named Lincoln (who has given her a ruby necklace; weird, yeah, but it's important) back home to Glacier River Farm.
Meanwhile, back in Celestial Valley (the magical land of unicorns, of course), Atalanta the Dream Speaker is fretting over the loss of Princess Arianna. That's right; Ari's a princess. Turns out an evil being named Entia, or the Shifter, exiled her parents, kidnapped her brothers, and almost killed her and Chase, who is actually the Sunchaser, Lord of all animals in Balinor, the land he and Ari come from.
Back to real life. Ari continues to heal and learns to ride Chase again, with the help of Dr. Bohnes. Unfortunately, Ann and Frank are broke, so they decide to lease Chase to a rich girl and her parents. The rich girl's name is Lori Carmichael and is so stereotyped it's not even funny: blonde, spoiled, pretty, prone to temper tantrums....
Ari hates Lori and doesn't want to give Chase up. Duh. Nothing really interesting happens except for Chase starts talking in Ari's head and Lori blames Ari for Chase's bad behavior, so she is severely punished (not).
Finally, she can't take it anymore. Not wanting to lose Chase, Ari runs away with him, but Lori follows with Lincoln. All four of them fall into a nearby cave (hmmm, how convenient), and land in Balinor. To be continued....
More notes:
Of course the main character has to be a princess. Mary-Sue much?
Oh, and her bonded unicorn is the Lord of all Animals.
Wth, Mary Stanton totally copied the Eye of Sauron. Actually, Peter Jackson was the one who took "the Eye" so literally, and the first movie came out in 2001, so in reality, HE copied HER.
Rednal of the Fiery Coals? What kind of name is that? He used to be my favorite unicorn.
Numinor seems like an Andalusian.
OMG, this is the unicorn's rainbow song:
Red and yellow, orange and green
Purple, silver, and blue
The rainbow we make defends those we guard
In Balinor's cities and fields.
Lol, that doesn't even rhyme! I'm totally putting this to music.
Ha. Atalanta says "bullocks".
So the Shifter is an anarchist??
Atalanta and Numinor are so annoying as a married couple. Always arguing. And they both get on my nerves: Atalanta is all demure and beautiful, and Numinor has too much testosterone.
I'm having a lot of trouble picturing Lincoln the collie. They say he's black and gold? But on the cover of #4 he's all chestnut and beautiful.
Wth, the names of her guardians are ANN and FRANK?? Wth, if they're trying to be funny, it's not working.
I like how every unicorn but Chase, Numinor, and Atalanta get a really brief description. Seriously:
It was a stallion. The light gleamed on his bronze coat. His chest and quarters were heavily muscled, his withers well-shaped. But it was his head and eyes that were the most beautiful to Ari. His forehead was broad, the muzzle well-shaped, with delicately flared nostrils. As he stepped forward, she looked deep into his eyes, large, brown, and full of sorrow.
First of all, there are some definite grammatical and punctuation errors in that, but it's so obvious that Mary Stanton is in love with Chase. How do you have well-shaped withers???
Frank: Well, you slept in the palace, I mean - in the house of course.
Nice save.
Okay, whatever. If she was REALLY injured in a car accident (which she so wasn't), how was Chase hurt? And who was driving? And why aren't they hurt? Ari is so gullible.
Atalanta has no sense of humor.
I like how all the matronly unicorns are fat.
I wouldn't want my horse leased out to someone without my permission, but Ari is so selfish.
Aaagh, I hate Chase.
Chase: Ah yes, I know him. But will he obey the Great Me?
I think that was supposed to be funny. Ari's probably giggling her modest head off.
Oh dear, this part of the woods must be dangerous, because no birds sing here and the wildflowers are scarce! :P This isn't Bambi!!!
Who names they're horse Shy-No-More? Or Beecher?
This sentence doesn't use the right tense.
They got even more prominent when she'd told him about the way the caves seem to draw her in, beckoning.
Shouldn't it be "seemed"? And "she had told" is incorrect. HOW DID THIS WOMAN GET PUBLISHED?
Okay, forealz, if you're a bad rider, that doesn't make you an awful person. I hate to say it, but Lori's "riding" verges on animal abuse.
"GIVE HIM THE WHIP! GIVE HIM THE WHIP!" Who says that??? I'd call the police. And PETA.
If you're abusing an animal, it's not your place to order it to be shot. "ALL I DID WAS KICK IT! AND THEN IT BIT ME! I WANT IT SHOT!"
Oh no, Chase starts talking.
"Little man! You shall be dirt beneath my hooves, little man. I will crush his bones with the Snake!"
And Ari's all, "*gasp* *hyperventilate* Oh----my----gosh----I----think-----Chase----is----talking???"
I like how Lori's dad doesn't cuss; he just says "darn" a lot.
Heh. Ari gets attacked by flies.
Ann wants to home-school Ari. Boooo....
Let's see, a dog came into your hospital room and gave you a big ruby necklace, you can't remember anything about your past, and your horse just started talking. Ari, aren't you even the least bit suspicious?
Aaaaagh. Atalanta wasn't talking about saving Chase THAT WAY!! Stupid, stupid, stupid.
ROFL, Lincoln attacks Lori.
Aaaargh. Why does Ari have to be all perfect and Mary Sue? She should slap Lori. But no. She decides to "ignore her". Sweetie, that NEVER WORKS.
:P She leaves a "coded" note for Doctor Bohnes.
"Sell the DOG LEASH in my sock drawer!
PLEASE!
Love, Ari."
Yeah, that wasn't WAY OBVIOUS, seeing as DOG LEASH was in CAPITALS.
His name is TOBIANO. I'm seeing a paint here, not an appaloosa.
I hate how they make a huge deal about Tobiano being so "rude". I like him.
How does a black and white unicorn fit in the rainbow?
Yeah, a cave that smells like death and is inhabited by flies. Let's go there!
Rofl. Lori unashamedly insults Ari. That's refreshing.
Lol, Linc is funny, too. And he has an accent.
And he talks to himself?
OH NO, AN ARMY OF ANGRY BLACK UNICORNS!!! Of course black is evil. I personally think red is an "eviller" color than black.
Lori: What was that?
Ari: Uh, bears?
Yeah, that's believable.
ROFL, this is my favorite part in the whole book: Ari looks around and sees a sign that says, "Welcome to Balinor". LOL. I find that really hilarious. That seems so anachronistic.
Yeah, so there you have it. I've been stalling, but I'll post another Balinor tomorrow, and then the first of the Horseshoe trilogies.
Plot: Arianna Langley doesn't remember anything. No, she does not have short-term memory loss, but she was in a car accident recently. That explains why she's in a wheelchair and her legs hurt so badly. But two people named Ann and Frank come to the hospital and insist that she is their foster daughter, and that she was in a car accident with her horse, Chase, and now he has a huge scar on his head. They take her and a mysterious dog named Lincoln (who has given her a ruby necklace; weird, yeah, but it's important) back home to Glacier River Farm.
Meanwhile, back in Celestial Valley (the magical land of unicorns, of course), Atalanta the Dream Speaker is fretting over the loss of Princess Arianna. That's right; Ari's a princess. Turns out an evil being named Entia, or the Shifter, exiled her parents, kidnapped her brothers, and almost killed her and Chase, who is actually the Sunchaser, Lord of all animals in Balinor, the land he and Ari come from.
Back to real life. Ari continues to heal and learns to ride Chase again, with the help of Dr. Bohnes. Unfortunately, Ann and Frank are broke, so they decide to lease Chase to a rich girl and her parents. The rich girl's name is Lori Carmichael and is so stereotyped it's not even funny: blonde, spoiled, pretty, prone to temper tantrums....
Ari hates Lori and doesn't want to give Chase up. Duh. Nothing really interesting happens except for Chase starts talking in Ari's head and Lori blames Ari for Chase's bad behavior, so she is severely punished (not).
Finally, she can't take it anymore. Not wanting to lose Chase, Ari runs away with him, but Lori follows with Lincoln. All four of them fall into a nearby cave (hmmm, how convenient), and land in Balinor. To be continued....
More notes:
Of course the main character has to be a princess. Mary-Sue much?
Oh, and her bonded unicorn is the Lord of all Animals.
Wth, Mary Stanton totally copied the Eye of Sauron. Actually, Peter Jackson was the one who took "the Eye" so literally, and the first movie came out in 2001, so in reality, HE copied HER.
Rednal of the Fiery Coals? What kind of name is that? He used to be my favorite unicorn.
Numinor seems like an Andalusian.
OMG, this is the unicorn's rainbow song:
Red and yellow, orange and green
Purple, silver, and blue
The rainbow we make defends those we guard
In Balinor's cities and fields.
Lol, that doesn't even rhyme! I'm totally putting this to music.
Ha. Atalanta says "bullocks".
So the Shifter is an anarchist??
Atalanta and Numinor are so annoying as a married couple. Always arguing. And they both get on my nerves: Atalanta is all demure and beautiful, and Numinor has too much testosterone.
I'm having a lot of trouble picturing Lincoln the collie. They say he's black and gold? But on the cover of #4 he's all chestnut and beautiful.
Wth, the names of her guardians are ANN and FRANK?? Wth, if they're trying to be funny, it's not working.
I like how every unicorn but Chase, Numinor, and Atalanta get a really brief description. Seriously:
It was a stallion. The light gleamed on his bronze coat. His chest and quarters were heavily muscled, his withers well-shaped. But it was his head and eyes that were the most beautiful to Ari. His forehead was broad, the muzzle well-shaped, with delicately flared nostrils. As he stepped forward, she looked deep into his eyes, large, brown, and full of sorrow.
First of all, there are some definite grammatical and punctuation errors in that, but it's so obvious that Mary Stanton is in love with Chase. How do you have well-shaped withers???
Frank: Well, you slept in the palace, I mean - in the house of course.
Nice save.
Okay, whatever. If she was REALLY injured in a car accident (which she so wasn't), how was Chase hurt? And who was driving? And why aren't they hurt? Ari is so gullible.
Atalanta has no sense of humor.
I like how all the matronly unicorns are fat.
I wouldn't want my horse leased out to someone without my permission, but Ari is so selfish.
Aaagh, I hate Chase.
Chase: Ah yes, I know him. But will he obey the Great Me?
I think that was supposed to be funny. Ari's probably giggling her modest head off.
Oh dear, this part of the woods must be dangerous, because no birds sing here and the wildflowers are scarce! :P This isn't Bambi!!!
Who names they're horse Shy-No-More? Or Beecher?
This sentence doesn't use the right tense.
They got even more prominent when she'd told him about the way the caves seem to draw her in, beckoning.
Shouldn't it be "seemed"? And "she had told" is incorrect. HOW DID THIS WOMAN GET PUBLISHED?
Okay, forealz, if you're a bad rider, that doesn't make you an awful person. I hate to say it, but Lori's "riding" verges on animal abuse.
"GIVE HIM THE WHIP! GIVE HIM THE WHIP!" Who says that??? I'd call the police. And PETA.
If you're abusing an animal, it's not your place to order it to be shot. "ALL I DID WAS KICK IT! AND THEN IT BIT ME! I WANT IT SHOT!"
Oh no, Chase starts talking.
"Little man! You shall be dirt beneath my hooves, little man. I will crush his bones with the Snake!"
And Ari's all, "*gasp* *hyperventilate* Oh----my----gosh----I----think-----Chase----is----talking???"
I like how Lori's dad doesn't cuss; he just says "darn" a lot.
Heh. Ari gets attacked by flies.
Ann wants to home-school Ari. Boooo....
Let's see, a dog came into your hospital room and gave you a big ruby necklace, you can't remember anything about your past, and your horse just started talking. Ari, aren't you even the least bit suspicious?
Aaaaagh. Atalanta wasn't talking about saving Chase THAT WAY!! Stupid, stupid, stupid.
ROFL, Lincoln attacks Lori.
Aaaargh. Why does Ari have to be all perfect and Mary Sue? She should slap Lori. But no. She decides to "ignore her". Sweetie, that NEVER WORKS.
:P She leaves a "coded" note for Doctor Bohnes.
"Sell the DOG LEASH in my sock drawer!
PLEASE!
Love, Ari."
Yeah, that wasn't WAY OBVIOUS, seeing as DOG LEASH was in CAPITALS.
His name is TOBIANO. I'm seeing a paint here, not an appaloosa.
I hate how they make a huge deal about Tobiano being so "rude". I like him.
How does a black and white unicorn fit in the rainbow?
Yeah, a cave that smells like death and is inhabited by flies. Let's go there!
Rofl. Lori unashamedly insults Ari. That's refreshing.
Lol, Linc is funny, too. And he has an accent.
And he talks to himself?
OH NO, AN ARMY OF ANGRY BLACK UNICORNS!!! Of course black is evil. I personally think red is an "eviller" color than black.
Lori: What was that?
Ari: Uh, bears?
Yeah, that's believable.
ROFL, this is my favorite part in the whole book: Ari looks around and sees a sign that says, "Welcome to Balinor". LOL. I find that really hilarious. That seems so anachronistic.
Yeah, so there you have it. I've been stalling, but I'll post another Balinor tomorrow, and then the first of the Horseshoe trilogies.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Goodbye old paint, or Pony Pals #19: Moving Pony
Yes. All ponies move. I think we're supposed to get from the title that the pony in question is leaving town. Whatever. Lulu's jeans are too short. Then again, so are mine. I need some new ones.
Plot: Sandy Nation and her mother Maria's are moving (ON HORSEBACK???) from Powell to Reston, but they stop in Wiggins when Maria's horse gets injured. The Pony Pals assume that because Sandy has a pony, she is an amazing person, and try to become "friends" with her. But Sandy hates everyone and doesn't want to move.
Bla bla bla, about 50 pages on Sandy grumbling.
After an unsuccessful barn sleepover (This is how they become friends with people; they invite them over for a sleepover and are shocked to discover this is too much, too soon.), the girls decide to go to the river to swim. But during their lil adventure, Sandy leaves, saying she wants to go back to the Crandals' house and talk to her mom, or something.
But on their way home, Lulu discovers that Sandy was trying to go back to Powell! The Pony Pals follow her and find Sandy with a broken ankle. They help her and convince her not to go back to Powell. Um...that's it.
More notes:
Another horse? It's a miracle!
I would be crabby, too, if I had to camp in the rain with my mom for three days.
Anna, we know you're an ignorant person. Kindly try not to display your ignorance.
Pam thinks they're criminals.
It's like if there's another pony in town, it has to be the same breed as the Pony Pals' ponies. Dandy was the only exception.
They introduce themselves and each of their ponies. I don't think the nice people care.
CONTINUITY! In every other book up till now, Lulu's mother died when she was 4. In this one, they say 3. What's up with that?
Maybe she died on the day before Lulu's 4th birthday. Big question: HOW DID SHE DIE??
The pony's name is Raffle. I used to think that was the coolest name ever. But I like Waffle better.
Ew, horse named Willow. And it's a boy. Watched any Val Kilmer movies lately?
So messed up. They're moving to Reston. Maria's husband and sons took the car, and since they don't have a horse trailer, they're RIDING to Reston. WTH?? Isn't there a service that takes your horses to wherever in a trailer? I'M SURE THERE IS! Or you could BUY one.
Mrs. Crandal knows Maria. It's a small world....
Sandy: Can I call Liana now? You said I could.
Maria: Honey, don't you think it will just make you sadder?
Lulu: *Who is Liana and why would talking to her make Sandy sad?*
Gee, I can figure that out. Can't you?
Sandy doesn't want to make new friends because you're in a cult and she doesn't want to move. Leave her alone.
Okay, Sandy's just being annoying. I've noticed whenever there's a new girl in town, she's mean, shy, and self-centered. WHY IS THIS???? Are there no extroverts out there that want to move to a small horse-worshiping town?
Anna: That Sandy sure is bossy.
Like you're not....
I love Vivien Kubbos' drawings of ponies. Take that, Paul Bachem!!
Sandy looks like Dorothy Hammill with blonde hair. And Raffle is way adorable.
Sandy doesn't want Raffle outside with the other ponies. Duh. Lightning bites.
OMG, THEY'RE HAVING SPAGHETTI AGAIN! It's like our family and pasta. We're not even Italian. THAT wasn't stereotyped.
Anna compares Sandy to Rema Baxter. Can't make the connection. Rema's a desperate fiendish loser. Sandy's just mean.
Sandy's crying herself to sleep...cuz she cannot keep their attention. Sorry, Bethany Dillon song.
Pam: I don't think she knows how to make new friends.
I've heard that excuse before. Either she's a complete idiot or she knows very well what she's doing. And I think she just hates you.
Mmm, blueberry muffins.
Ew, this is so obviously a jab at Sandy.
Mrs. Crandal: It looks likeyou're stuck here with us, Maria.
Maria: I don't mind. I'll watch you teach and get some more ideas on how to run a riding school. Besides, I like making new friends.
Mrs. Crandal: Me, too.
We get it. You're daughter is a freak.
Lulu thinks Sandy is fatty because she takes a lot of food. Methinks she's running away.
Raffle tries to kill Acorn. But we don't know why. Because Acorn is the friendliest pony in the world!!
Ew, Liana's pony was named Peaches.
Sandy: Liana's my best friend in my whole life.
That sentence doesn't really flow.
Sandy is galloping on muddy ground. So the Pony Pals gallop after her to tell her to slow down. What's wrong with this picture??
Adorable picture of Acorn. He looks like he's supposed to.
Anna tries to use the whole, "It's three against one," tactic on Sandy. But Sandy basically tells her to screw off.
Sandy's being all nice. Because she doesn't want them to suspect anything. Duh.
Anna takes it seriously.
Anna also strips. Bad pictures.
Now they figure out that Sandy is a liar. Took you long enough.
You are not a good detective, Lulu. Gotta hit 'em with a dose of reality now and then.
Lulu tries to think like Sandy Nation. She makes Sandy sound all whiny. It's pretty funny.
Agh, they're calling it pony plop again.
No, Pam, don't go for help. Let's try to find Sandy ON OUR OWN with NO ADULT SUPERVISION. Losers.
Look, a huge pony imprint in the ground.
Anna: Maybe a fox got in a fight with another animal.
Are you serious?
I'm really confused as to why you can't ride with a sprained ankle. You could just mount on THE OTHER SIDE.
She sprained her ankle, I don't think she cares where help comes from.
Lulu mistakes a bracelet for a bird.
Why is Raffle wearing a halter? Is it under his bridle? Because how else did she ride there?
Sandy tries to convince the Pony Pals to help her get back to Powell. So if the police get involved, they'll get in trouble for helping a minor escape???
EVERYONE KNOWS HOW TO WRAP AN ACE BANDAGE!!
You can SO ride with a sprained ankle. Just mount on the side requiring your nonsprained foot and make your horse walk.
Ew, Sandy has two other friends and they solve problems together. Like the Pony Pals.
I have to admit, Sandy planned ahead.
Anna is shocked Sandy would have the balls to stay in the woods alone.
We have to hear stuff about Lulu's move from England. :P
RESTON AND POWELL AREN'T THAT FAR APART??? Then why is there this big drama???
You don't like Sandy, stop lying.
Sandy made fun of Pam. I like this girl.
Sorry, guys, but if you want to be my friend, you have to be smart AND brave. :P What is this, Harry Potter?
"Don't put your feet in the stirrups. That would hurt." JUST LOWER THE STIRRUPS!!! IT WILL NOT HURT!!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaagh. Lulu pulls the biggest guilt card of all: "I don't have a mother, so you should be grateful that you do!!!" Unbelievable. MANIPULATION!!
Plot: Sandy Nation and her mother Maria's are moving (ON HORSEBACK???) from Powell to Reston, but they stop in Wiggins when Maria's horse gets injured. The Pony Pals assume that because Sandy has a pony, she is an amazing person, and try to become "friends" with her. But Sandy hates everyone and doesn't want to move.
Bla bla bla, about 50 pages on Sandy grumbling.
After an unsuccessful barn sleepover (This is how they become friends with people; they invite them over for a sleepover and are shocked to discover this is too much, too soon.), the girls decide to go to the river to swim. But during their lil adventure, Sandy leaves, saying she wants to go back to the Crandals' house and talk to her mom, or something.
But on their way home, Lulu discovers that Sandy was trying to go back to Powell! The Pony Pals follow her and find Sandy with a broken ankle. They help her and convince her not to go back to Powell. Um...that's it.
More notes:
Another horse? It's a miracle!
I would be crabby, too, if I had to camp in the rain with my mom for three days.
Anna, we know you're an ignorant person. Kindly try not to display your ignorance.
Pam thinks they're criminals.
It's like if there's another pony in town, it has to be the same breed as the Pony Pals' ponies. Dandy was the only exception.
They introduce themselves and each of their ponies. I don't think the nice people care.
CONTINUITY! In every other book up till now, Lulu's mother died when she was 4. In this one, they say 3. What's up with that?
Maybe she died on the day before Lulu's 4th birthday. Big question: HOW DID SHE DIE??
The pony's name is Raffle. I used to think that was the coolest name ever. But I like Waffle better.
Ew, horse named Willow. And it's a boy. Watched any Val Kilmer movies lately?
So messed up. They're moving to Reston. Maria's husband and sons took the car, and since they don't have a horse trailer, they're RIDING to Reston. WTH?? Isn't there a service that takes your horses to wherever in a trailer? I'M SURE THERE IS! Or you could BUY one.
Mrs. Crandal knows Maria. It's a small world....
Sandy: Can I call Liana now? You said I could.
Maria: Honey, don't you think it will just make you sadder?
Lulu: *Who is Liana and why would talking to her make Sandy sad?*
Gee, I can figure that out. Can't you?
Sandy doesn't want to make new friends because you're in a cult and she doesn't want to move. Leave her alone.
Okay, Sandy's just being annoying. I've noticed whenever there's a new girl in town, she's mean, shy, and self-centered. WHY IS THIS???? Are there no extroverts out there that want to move to a small horse-worshiping town?
Anna: That Sandy sure is bossy.
Like you're not....
I love Vivien Kubbos' drawings of ponies. Take that, Paul Bachem!!
Sandy looks like Dorothy Hammill with blonde hair. And Raffle is way adorable.
Sandy doesn't want Raffle outside with the other ponies. Duh. Lightning bites.
OMG, THEY'RE HAVING SPAGHETTI AGAIN! It's like our family and pasta. We're not even Italian. THAT wasn't stereotyped.
Anna compares Sandy to Rema Baxter. Can't make the connection. Rema's a desperate fiendish loser. Sandy's just mean.
Sandy's crying herself to sleep...cuz she cannot keep their attention. Sorry, Bethany Dillon song.
Pam: I don't think she knows how to make new friends.
I've heard that excuse before. Either she's a complete idiot or she knows very well what she's doing. And I think she just hates you.
Mmm, blueberry muffins.
Ew, this is so obviously a jab at Sandy.
Mrs. Crandal: It looks likeyou're stuck here with us, Maria.
Maria: I don't mind. I'll watch you teach and get some more ideas on how to run a riding school. Besides, I like making new friends.
Mrs. Crandal: Me, too.
We get it. You're daughter is a freak.
Lulu thinks Sandy is fatty because she takes a lot of food. Methinks she's running away.
Raffle tries to kill Acorn. But we don't know why. Because Acorn is the friendliest pony in the world!!
Ew, Liana's pony was named Peaches.
Sandy: Liana's my best friend in my whole life.
That sentence doesn't really flow.
Sandy is galloping on muddy ground. So the Pony Pals gallop after her to tell her to slow down. What's wrong with this picture??
Adorable picture of Acorn. He looks like he's supposed to.
Anna tries to use the whole, "It's three against one," tactic on Sandy. But Sandy basically tells her to screw off.
Sandy's being all nice. Because she doesn't want them to suspect anything. Duh.
Anna takes it seriously.
Anna also strips. Bad pictures.
Now they figure out that Sandy is a liar. Took you long enough.
You are not a good detective, Lulu. Gotta hit 'em with a dose of reality now and then.
Lulu tries to think like Sandy Nation. She makes Sandy sound all whiny. It's pretty funny.
Agh, they're calling it pony plop again.
No, Pam, don't go for help. Let's try to find Sandy ON OUR OWN with NO ADULT SUPERVISION. Losers.
Look, a huge pony imprint in the ground.
Anna: Maybe a fox got in a fight with another animal.
Are you serious?
I'm really confused as to why you can't ride with a sprained ankle. You could just mount on THE OTHER SIDE.
She sprained her ankle, I don't think she cares where help comes from.
Lulu mistakes a bracelet for a bird.
Why is Raffle wearing a halter? Is it under his bridle? Because how else did she ride there?
Sandy tries to convince the Pony Pals to help her get back to Powell. So if the police get involved, they'll get in trouble for helping a minor escape???
EVERYONE KNOWS HOW TO WRAP AN ACE BANDAGE!!
You can SO ride with a sprained ankle. Just mount on the side requiring your nonsprained foot and make your horse walk.
Ew, Sandy has two other friends and they solve problems together. Like the Pony Pals.
I have to admit, Sandy planned ahead.
Anna is shocked Sandy would have the balls to stay in the woods alone.
We have to hear stuff about Lulu's move from England. :P
RESTON AND POWELL AREN'T THAT FAR APART??? Then why is there this big drama???
You don't like Sandy, stop lying.
Sandy made fun of Pam. I like this girl.
Sorry, guys, but if you want to be my friend, you have to be smart AND brave. :P What is this, Harry Potter?
"Don't put your feet in the stirrups. That would hurt." JUST LOWER THE STIRRUPS!!! IT WILL NOT HURT!!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaagh. Lulu pulls the biggest guilt card of all: "I don't have a mother, so you should be grateful that you do!!!" Unbelievable. MANIPULATION!!
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
The world is divided into two kinds of people, or Pony Pals #13: The Girl Who Hated Ponies
Lulu is a very AWFUL person. That's all I have to say. Btw, the picture shows the cover in the wrong color. The copy I have is periwinkle, not rusty brown.
Plot: Mr. Sanders forgets that Lulu is an antisocial freak and decides to let his bosses daughter Melissa (or something like that) hang with Lulu and the Pony Pals. FOR A WHOLE WEEKEND. WITHOUT ADULT SUPERVISION. Okay, not really, but he's basically leaving Lulu and his friend's kid on their own.
Oh no, Melissa doesn't like PONIES!!!! *gasp* She likes makeoevers and beauty parlors and wears dangly earrings, so Lulu writes her off as a jerk and is mean to her.
They all go to Pam's house. Melissa doesn't want to go riding, so the Pony Pals give her the glare of death. They try to introduce her to their ponies, but Melissa seems to be scared of them??? IS IT POSSIBLY BECAUSE OF A TRAUMATIC EVENT WHEN SHE WAS 5???
Finally, they convince Melissa to go riding with them, but she agrees to go only if she can give them all makeovers when they get back. Ew. Not.
Oh no, a blizzard! The Pony Pals get trapped with Melissa in a wooden shelter that magically popped out of the ground. Melissa then admits that she was once trapped in a stall with a horse and has since then been scared out of her pants by horses. Then she apologizes for being such a BRAT. Um, yeah, Pony Pals, don't you think YOU need to give her an apology TOO?
But no. Magically, the snow stops and they can go outside again! Then they are rescued by Mr. Crandal and they all go home.
But Melissa has not forgotten about the makeovers....
At the diner the next morning, Melissa decides that the thing she REALLY wants to do is give the PONIES makeovers. So they do that. And Melissa is in love with Snow White. Because everyone looooooves Snow White. Yeah. That's IT.
More notes:
"We're going to spend the whole weekend riding with our Pony Pals." Don't you do that EVERY weekend?
I thought Mr. Sanders was studying BLACK bears, but he's going to a conference on BROWN bears. And he STILL looks like George Lopez.
Oh, because Lulu likes ponies, and Melissa's parents like ponies, and the Pony Pals like ponies, MELISSA must LOVE ponies.
Lulu is HORRIBLE at making friends, seeing as she only has 2 since moving to Wiggins. Why does Mr. Sanders think this is a good idea?
Melissa is wearing a black skirt (looks like a dress on the cover), lace-up leather boots (combat boots???), and a red jacket...OH, and a beret, which they failed to mention. Who wears berets?
Melissa is wearing dangly earrings. What is the signifigance of dangly earrings? Lulu makes a HUGE deal about it.
Okay, the Princes live in New York City...so they drive down to Conecticut to pick up Mr. Sanders and drop off Melissa...and now they're going to Maine. Yeah, not out of the way at all.
Mr. Sanders' first name is TOM???
OH NO, MELISSA HAS A NEW MANICURE KIT THAT HAS NAIL POLISH AND GOLD SPARKLES! DEMON!!! Seriously, even horse freaks like to look semi-feminine some of the time.
Since when does Grandma Sandy give manicures? My bad, Grandmother Sanders.
They leave Melissa with Grandma Sandy and talk about her behind her back? Such jerks.
We never find out how Lulu's mammy died.
ANNA LOOKS JUST LIKE CASPIAN FROM THE "CHRONICLES OF NARNIA" BBC MOVIE!!!
Bad grammar. "Melissa come over here." Where's the comma, eh?
They're confused as to why Melissa hates stepping in horse crap.
They're trying to force Melissa to become a Pony Pal.
Wait, for serious? All Melissa's suitcase holds is a manicure kit, makeup, a nightgown, a "very pretty dress", and a fluffy pink bathrobe. Whaaaaaat?
I swear, brownies and spaghetti are the only things the Pony Pals ever eat.
How did they know Melissa was from New York? It's not MENTIONED for 20 pages.
Melissa hates Snow White, too.
Oh no, it referenced THE CIRCUS. Acorn's not really that talented. He can shake and nod his head and go in a circle.
I wrote a lot when I was little, too!
Horses are beautiful and wonderful. Thank you, Lulu.
Aaargh, poop is a bad word!!! Dang it! SAY POOP! SAY IT!
Melissa: Anna, I think a different hairstyle would make you look older.
Anna: Why would I want to look older?
Well, let's see, you look like you're 5?
"You'll be known as the Pretty Pals instead of the Pony Pals." OMG!! I don't think Melissa meant to insult them, but she TOTALLY DID. Wait...I think she meant to. BOOYA, I love this girl.
SPLASH IS BACK FROM #6!!!
Ew, who eats muffins hot?
Heh, manipulation on both sides. Cat fight!
Splash actually looks like an Appaloosa!
Now you know how it feels, Anna. (See #9)
Lulu doesn't have the guts to say, "Snow White behaves a lot better than you do." Honestly, I can't stick up for Melissa any more. She's just as bad as the Pony Pals. I probably would've strangled her by now.
But Melissa isn't stupid, and Lulu's all surprised to see that Splash is really a problem pony. Dummy.
Yeah, yelling during a trail ride. Good idea. Spook the ponies a little.
Melissa just acknowledged Wiggins' lack of pizza places.
Maybe Snow White doesn't like snow because the last time it snowed, she got lost in a blizzard and fell in an icy hole while she had SHINGLES.
See, told you.
Tommy Rand = serial killer. He either finds a dead snake or kills one, but then he wraps it around Pam's neck. Dang. That really sucks. Now she's all phobic of snakes.
Lulu has a Rihanna haircut in one picture.
Whatever. Melissa's encounter with a scary horse isn't that scary to me. If it had been me I would've been so thrilled. Cuz I was a Pony Pal and a freak when I was little.
To pass the time, Melissa teaches them a line dance. How...? No what, never mind.
I'm shocked that Lulu even owns a pair of long underwear. Pam totally looks like Nicole from the basketball team.
The Crandals own their own ranch, a billion ponies, a huge house, their own medical practice, and a snowmobile. They haven't said it, but I think the Crandals are rich.
Wiggins is so much more exciting than boring old New York City! Not.
"Can I bring them a treat?" Shouldn't it be, "Can I take them a treat?"
They want to trim Acorn's whiskers and earhair? You have to do that?
Mmm, delicious, yogurt with bananas and strawberries. Sorry, I'm a picky eater.
Where'd the baseball cap come from? First a beret, now a baseball cap? Confused.
Melissa looks just like Emily Osment in the last picture.
That was dumb, but it didn't anger me as much as it did others. Lulu reminds me of myself sometimes. Ouch. The truth hurts. I'll go cry in a corner.
Tomorrow: The one about Mimi and Tongo (#14) or hopefully "Circus Pony"!
Plot: Mr. Sanders forgets that Lulu is an antisocial freak and decides to let his bosses daughter Melissa (or something like that) hang with Lulu and the Pony Pals. FOR A WHOLE WEEKEND. WITHOUT ADULT SUPERVISION. Okay, not really, but he's basically leaving Lulu and his friend's kid on their own.
Oh no, Melissa doesn't like PONIES!!!! *gasp* She likes makeoevers and beauty parlors and wears dangly earrings, so Lulu writes her off as a jerk and is mean to her.
They all go to Pam's house. Melissa doesn't want to go riding, so the Pony Pals give her the glare of death. They try to introduce her to their ponies, but Melissa seems to be scared of them??? IS IT POSSIBLY BECAUSE OF A TRAUMATIC EVENT WHEN SHE WAS 5???
Finally, they convince Melissa to go riding with them, but she agrees to go only if she can give them all makeovers when they get back. Ew. Not.
Oh no, a blizzard! The Pony Pals get trapped with Melissa in a wooden shelter that magically popped out of the ground. Melissa then admits that she was once trapped in a stall with a horse and has since then been scared out of her pants by horses. Then she apologizes for being such a BRAT. Um, yeah, Pony Pals, don't you think YOU need to give her an apology TOO?
But no. Magically, the snow stops and they can go outside again! Then they are rescued by Mr. Crandal and they all go home.
But Melissa has not forgotten about the makeovers....
At the diner the next morning, Melissa decides that the thing she REALLY wants to do is give the PONIES makeovers. So they do that. And Melissa is in love with Snow White. Because everyone looooooves Snow White. Yeah. That's IT.
More notes:
"We're going to spend the whole weekend riding with our Pony Pals." Don't you do that EVERY weekend?
I thought Mr. Sanders was studying BLACK bears, but he's going to a conference on BROWN bears. And he STILL looks like George Lopez.
Oh, because Lulu likes ponies, and Melissa's parents like ponies, and the Pony Pals like ponies, MELISSA must LOVE ponies.
Lulu is HORRIBLE at making friends, seeing as she only has 2 since moving to Wiggins. Why does Mr. Sanders think this is a good idea?
Melissa is wearing a black skirt (looks like a dress on the cover), lace-up leather boots (combat boots???), and a red jacket...OH, and a beret, which they failed to mention. Who wears berets?
Melissa is wearing dangly earrings. What is the signifigance of dangly earrings? Lulu makes a HUGE deal about it.
Okay, the Princes live in New York City...so they drive down to Conecticut to pick up Mr. Sanders and drop off Melissa...and now they're going to Maine. Yeah, not out of the way at all.
Mr. Sanders' first name is TOM???
OH NO, MELISSA HAS A NEW MANICURE KIT THAT HAS NAIL POLISH AND GOLD SPARKLES! DEMON!!! Seriously, even horse freaks like to look semi-feminine some of the time.
Since when does Grandma Sandy give manicures? My bad, Grandmother Sanders.
They leave Melissa with Grandma Sandy and talk about her behind her back? Such jerks.
We never find out how Lulu's mammy died.
ANNA LOOKS JUST LIKE CASPIAN FROM THE "CHRONICLES OF NARNIA" BBC MOVIE!!!
Bad grammar. "Melissa come over here." Where's the comma, eh?
They're confused as to why Melissa hates stepping in horse crap.
They're trying to force Melissa to become a Pony Pal.
Wait, for serious? All Melissa's suitcase holds is a manicure kit, makeup, a nightgown, a "very pretty dress", and a fluffy pink bathrobe. Whaaaaaat?
I swear, brownies and spaghetti are the only things the Pony Pals ever eat.
How did they know Melissa was from New York? It's not MENTIONED for 20 pages.
Melissa hates Snow White, too.
Oh no, it referenced THE CIRCUS. Acorn's not really that talented. He can shake and nod his head and go in a circle.
I wrote a lot when I was little, too!
Horses are beautiful and wonderful. Thank you, Lulu.
Aaargh, poop is a bad word!!! Dang it! SAY POOP! SAY IT!
Melissa: Anna, I think a different hairstyle would make you look older.
Anna: Why would I want to look older?
Well, let's see, you look like you're 5?
"You'll be known as the Pretty Pals instead of the Pony Pals." OMG!! I don't think Melissa meant to insult them, but she TOTALLY DID. Wait...I think she meant to. BOOYA, I love this girl.
SPLASH IS BACK FROM #6!!!
Ew, who eats muffins hot?
Heh, manipulation on both sides. Cat fight!
Splash actually looks like an Appaloosa!
Now you know how it feels, Anna. (See #9)
Lulu doesn't have the guts to say, "Snow White behaves a lot better than you do." Honestly, I can't stick up for Melissa any more. She's just as bad as the Pony Pals. I probably would've strangled her by now.
But Melissa isn't stupid, and Lulu's all surprised to see that Splash is really a problem pony. Dummy.
Yeah, yelling during a trail ride. Good idea. Spook the ponies a little.
Melissa just acknowledged Wiggins' lack of pizza places.
Maybe Snow White doesn't like snow because the last time it snowed, she got lost in a blizzard and fell in an icy hole while she had SHINGLES.
See, told you.
Tommy Rand = serial killer. He either finds a dead snake or kills one, but then he wraps it around Pam's neck. Dang. That really sucks. Now she's all phobic of snakes.
Lulu has a Rihanna haircut in one picture.
Whatever. Melissa's encounter with a scary horse isn't that scary to me. If it had been me I would've been so thrilled. Cuz I was a Pony Pal and a freak when I was little.
To pass the time, Melissa teaches them a line dance. How...? No what, never mind.
I'm shocked that Lulu even owns a pair of long underwear. Pam totally looks like Nicole from the basketball team.
The Crandals own their own ranch, a billion ponies, a huge house, their own medical practice, and a snowmobile. They haven't said it, but I think the Crandals are rich.
Wiggins is so much more exciting than boring old New York City! Not.
"Can I bring them a treat?" Shouldn't it be, "Can I take them a treat?"
They want to trim Acorn's whiskers and earhair? You have to do that?
Mmm, delicious, yogurt with bananas and strawberries. Sorry, I'm a picky eater.
Where'd the baseball cap come from? First a beret, now a baseball cap? Confused.
Melissa looks just like Emily Osment in the last picture.
That was dumb, but it didn't anger me as much as it did others. Lulu reminds me of myself sometimes. Ouch. The truth hurts. I'll go cry in a corner.
Tomorrow: The one about Mimi and Tongo (#14) or hopefully "Circus Pony"!
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Safe Sitters for losers, or Super Special #1: Pony Pals: The Baby Pony
I don't understand how this is a super special. It's only 91 pages, shorter than the longest Pony Pals book. I guess it's super because the author felt she had to write in three different personalities at once. What a challenge. Oh, and there are a few more pictures than normal.
Plot: Some random person drops a baby pony off at Crandal Animal Clinic (it has a name? I just thought if it as the Crandals' house). The pony is three days old and its mother died. The Pony Pals start to feed it, and love it, and take care of it for about 80 pages. But taking care of a pony is hard work.
A woman comes and tries to buy Baby Pony (they couldn't think up a better name than that). They refuse because the woman is mean and wants to sell him for a lot of money.
But then a little crying girl and her dad come along and the Pony Pals take pity on her because her own pony died. BUT THEY REFUSE THE MONEY AND ARE JUST HAPPY WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT BABY PONY HAS A GOOD HOME. The End. Snore.
More notes:
Pony Pal Trail is Anna's favorite place "in the world". Something tells me Anna doesn't get out of Wiggins very often.
No, I don't think about how I met my friends every time I see them.
"A bay-colored foal." Why can't they say bay and leave it at that?
"Lulu rubbed the foal's silky brown coat. It was the softest thing she'd ever touched." You've obviously never met Luke.
Geez, Pam, way to be dramatic. "'The foal has to start drinking soon-' Pam finished the sentence in a whisper. "-or he'll die.'"
Psyche, it turns out Lulu actually HAS been to Africa. But if that's true, why didn't Mr. Sanders want to take her on the elephant trip? Africa's pretty dangerous without poachers. Meaning lions and civil war.
They say "nipple" like 20 times on one page. It made me laugh.
Lulu: Maybe we can get the foal to drink from a bottle with a nipple. [Don't all bottles have nipples?]
Pam: Good idea.
Anna: Do we give him plain old milk?
Pam: It'd be better to give him mare's milk. My dad has some powdered mare's milk in the office. You stay with the foal and I'll go look.
Anna: We'll need a bottle with a nipple, too.
We have to listen to more stuff about Lulu's dead mother and how awful it is. We get it.
Another barrage of nipples....
If Pam hadn't been so selfish and drunk all the milk, they wouldn't be in this predicament! Shame, shame, shame....
Interesting...Jack and Jill are a year older, but the Pony Pals are still 10. This reminds me of the story about the lightbuckers.
They're milking a goat. Totally reminds me of Milk Off.
Pam, you are talking to a goat. What's wrong with you?
Jeanne Betancourt must like the word "nipple" because she uses it A LOT.
Wait...isn't taking care of animals Mr. Crandal's job? How come he doesn't have time to take care of a foal? It's not like he has a lot of clients. He only gets clients when one of the ponies gets sick or the Pony Pals find a cat, which they do quite often, I've noticed.
It's suddenly summer vacation? And more conveniently, it just STARTED, so the Pony Pals have plenty of time to hand rear a newborn foal!
Couldn't Mr. Olson do it? He's always at home and doesn't seem to have much of a life, as he frequently runs horse shows when he gets bored.... Yeah, I know, this coming from a girl who reads "Pony Pals" and blogs about it.
Sure, Anna. Because he is a adorable, it will be fun. Try baby-sitting sometime.
EWWWWWW there's a picture of the foal; he's bald and his neck is 10 feet thicker than his body.
Anna admits that she's crap at spelling. I'm proud of you, Anna.
And then she had to go and be all cocky about her artistic talents....
Pam is not a very good writer and she has bad grammar.
Ha ha, umbillicus is a funny word.
How do you know he misses his mother? He never really knew her, did he?
Um, WHAT? The Pony Pals will be LIVING at the Crandal's for the next few weeks. And their parents are OKAY WITH THIS???
There's a whole page on the Pony Pals and their attempts at making straw furniture. Yawn.
Yes. I can see a pony crawling under a fence. Not.
RED FLAG: Pam has her arm around Anna....
Oh, sure, it's normal for ponies to pound other ponies into a bloody pulp.... Wait...I thought a few books ago Pam was priding Lightning on being able to get along with strange ponies. I know Acorn has issues, but Lightning was pretty stellar in #6.
I wish they would stop calling him Baby Pony.
Bats. In the loft. Can you say RABIES?
Acorn is WAY too huge to be a Shetland. He's as tall as Lightning and is all lean and crap.
Anna is a gourmet cook?
This foal is vicious.
Pam and Lulu can't make up their minds about Baby Pony.
Pam: He's getting spoiled.
Lulu: He just wants a mother. You can't blame him for that. [Actually....]
*later*
Lulu: *trying to sleep* His feeding isn't for another hour.
Pam: He just wants company.
No, I don't think ponies tackling people is very cute behavior.
Whoever receives the Baby Pony Journal is going to be bored out of their minds.
They mention Baby doing a little jig pretty much every 5 seconds.
I think Anna's shirt says "Jail" on it. Jealous, I want a shirt like that.
More Snow White worship. Blah. I hate Snow White.
Snow White had a foal? How come we didn't hear about this earlier?
"...he did a little jig of joy." That, with the alliteration, does not sound cute.
Baby bites Lulu and they don't think this is a problem.
Baby tries to nurse from Snow White and she pushes him to the ground. Snow White is trying to teach Baby to man up.
Aw, cute picture. Snow White actually looks like a pony.
Anna: Snow White's a great baby sitter and teacher.
Why, because she's white?
Seriously, if the only other option was Lulu, I'd rather be called Lucinda. Or at least Lucy.
Of course there are no nursing mares available in Wiggins. Because only 5 people in Wiggins own ponies!!!
How come the Pony Pals never have to pay for the brownies Mrs. Harley makes them?
Mrs. Harley: When do you think you'll start sleeping at home again?
Anna: Not until we find a nursing mare for Baby Pony.
Pam: Just pretend Anna's at a sleep-away camp, Mrs. Harley.
Mrs. Harley: It sounds more like a work-away camp.
*cough cough* ISLAND LAKE. *cough cough*
Anna: Sand. What a pretty name for a horse. I bet she's a Palomino.
I'll bet she isn't.
Lol, I want a yellow convertible.
I agree! Baby is no name for a horse! It's right up there with all the other annoying overused names for animals.
Overused animal names: Baby, Oreo, Blackie, Brownie, Whitey, Tabby, Lucky, Muffin, Patches, Smokey
I like the name Oreo, tho. It's just that everyone who gets a black and white hamster is all, "OMFG, OREO!"
Heh. Victoria's horse is named Perfection. I'm totally getting a horse and naming him Irony.
The Pony Pals don't want to sell Baby Pony to Victoria Winters because she wants to train him and sell him for a lot of money. Uh, yeah, that's some people's JOB. That's so stupid, tho. Once they buy him, they can do whatever they want with him. Suck it up.
Whatever. Ponies are worth way more than $100.
OH NO! A HORSE NAMED FRECKLES! How I despise that name. That's right up there next to Blackie and Brownie.
Wait...Freckles is a horse...YES! HORSES DO EXIST IN "PONY PALS"!
Eve, Freckles' owner, is way annoying. "I would've taken care of my foal if he hadn't died. That's what my foal would've looked like. My foal would've eaten that grass. My foal would've voted Republican, bla bla bla...."
They rub the smell of Freckles' dead colt all over Baby Pony. Um, creepy??
WHAT? They decide to give Baby Pony away and will accept no money. I noticed Mr. Crandal isn't here to oversee this transaction. I bet he'll be mad when he finds out....
OH NO, SHE NAMES HIM LUCKY! *see list*
I'm sorry, I just really hate the name Lucky for a horse. Especially for a "witty" reason. "His name is Lucky, because I'm so lucky to have him." "His name is Lucky because he's my good luck charm!" "His name is Lucky because he's green like a Care Bear!" "Say whaaaat?"
And you thought Anna's handwriting was bad...Eve's is even worse.
Eve, Lucky, Freckles, and her dad are never heard from again....
Yeah. That was not enjoyable. I'm still waiting on "Circus Pony", but if it doesn't come in 2 days, I'll start reading "Keep Out, Pony" (#12) and "The Girl Who Hated Ponies" (#13). I also have "Pony Sitters" (#14) and "The Blind Pony" (#15), but those are painful to read.
Plot: Some random person drops a baby pony off at Crandal Animal Clinic (it has a name? I just thought if it as the Crandals' house). The pony is three days old and its mother died. The Pony Pals start to feed it, and love it, and take care of it for about 80 pages. But taking care of a pony is hard work.
A woman comes and tries to buy Baby Pony (they couldn't think up a better name than that). They refuse because the woman is mean and wants to sell him for a lot of money.
But then a little crying girl and her dad come along and the Pony Pals take pity on her because her own pony died. BUT THEY REFUSE THE MONEY AND ARE JUST HAPPY WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT BABY PONY HAS A GOOD HOME. The End. Snore.
More notes:
Pony Pal Trail is Anna's favorite place "in the world". Something tells me Anna doesn't get out of Wiggins very often.
No, I don't think about how I met my friends every time I see them.
"A bay-colored foal." Why can't they say bay and leave it at that?
"Lulu rubbed the foal's silky brown coat. It was the softest thing she'd ever touched." You've obviously never met Luke.
Geez, Pam, way to be dramatic. "'The foal has to start drinking soon-' Pam finished the sentence in a whisper. "-or he'll die.'"
Psyche, it turns out Lulu actually HAS been to Africa. But if that's true, why didn't Mr. Sanders want to take her on the elephant trip? Africa's pretty dangerous without poachers. Meaning lions and civil war.
They say "nipple" like 20 times on one page. It made me laugh.
Lulu: Maybe we can get the foal to drink from a bottle with a nipple. [Don't all bottles have nipples?]
Pam: Good idea.
Anna: Do we give him plain old milk?
Pam: It'd be better to give him mare's milk. My dad has some powdered mare's milk in the office. You stay with the foal and I'll go look.
Anna: We'll need a bottle with a nipple, too.
We have to listen to more stuff about Lulu's dead mother and how awful it is. We get it.
Another barrage of nipples....
If Pam hadn't been so selfish and drunk all the milk, they wouldn't be in this predicament! Shame, shame, shame....
Interesting...Jack and Jill are a year older, but the Pony Pals are still 10. This reminds me of the story about the lightbuckers.
They're milking a goat. Totally reminds me of Milk Off.
Pam, you are talking to a goat. What's wrong with you?
Jeanne Betancourt must like the word "nipple" because she uses it A LOT.
Wait...isn't taking care of animals Mr. Crandal's job? How come he doesn't have time to take care of a foal? It's not like he has a lot of clients. He only gets clients when one of the ponies gets sick or the Pony Pals find a cat, which they do quite often, I've noticed.
It's suddenly summer vacation? And more conveniently, it just STARTED, so the Pony Pals have plenty of time to hand rear a newborn foal!
Couldn't Mr. Olson do it? He's always at home and doesn't seem to have much of a life, as he frequently runs horse shows when he gets bored.... Yeah, I know, this coming from a girl who reads "Pony Pals" and blogs about it.
Sure, Anna. Because he is a adorable, it will be fun. Try baby-sitting sometime.
EWWWWWW there's a picture of the foal; he's bald and his neck is 10 feet thicker than his body.
Anna admits that she's crap at spelling. I'm proud of you, Anna.
And then she had to go and be all cocky about her artistic talents....
Pam is not a very good writer and she has bad grammar.
Ha ha, umbillicus is a funny word.
How do you know he misses his mother? He never really knew her, did he?
Um, WHAT? The Pony Pals will be LIVING at the Crandal's for the next few weeks. And their parents are OKAY WITH THIS???
There's a whole page on the Pony Pals and their attempts at making straw furniture. Yawn.
Yes. I can see a pony crawling under a fence. Not.
RED FLAG: Pam has her arm around Anna....
Oh, sure, it's normal for ponies to pound other ponies into a bloody pulp.... Wait...I thought a few books ago Pam was priding Lightning on being able to get along with strange ponies. I know Acorn has issues, but Lightning was pretty stellar in #6.
I wish they would stop calling him Baby Pony.
Bats. In the loft. Can you say RABIES?
Acorn is WAY too huge to be a Shetland. He's as tall as Lightning and is all lean and crap.
Anna is a gourmet cook?
This foal is vicious.
Pam and Lulu can't make up their minds about Baby Pony.
Pam: He's getting spoiled.
Lulu: He just wants a mother. You can't blame him for that. [Actually....]
*later*
Lulu: *trying to sleep* His feeding isn't for another hour.
Pam: He just wants company.
No, I don't think ponies tackling people is very cute behavior.
Whoever receives the Baby Pony Journal is going to be bored out of their minds.
They mention Baby doing a little jig pretty much every 5 seconds.
I think Anna's shirt says "Jail" on it. Jealous, I want a shirt like that.
More Snow White worship. Blah. I hate Snow White.
Snow White had a foal? How come we didn't hear about this earlier?
"...he did a little jig of joy." That, with the alliteration, does not sound cute.
Baby bites Lulu and they don't think this is a problem.
Baby tries to nurse from Snow White and she pushes him to the ground. Snow White is trying to teach Baby to man up.
Aw, cute picture. Snow White actually looks like a pony.
Anna: Snow White's a great baby sitter and teacher.
Why, because she's white?
Seriously, if the only other option was Lulu, I'd rather be called Lucinda. Or at least Lucy.
Of course there are no nursing mares available in Wiggins. Because only 5 people in Wiggins own ponies!!!
How come the Pony Pals never have to pay for the brownies Mrs. Harley makes them?
Mrs. Harley: When do you think you'll start sleeping at home again?
Anna: Not until we find a nursing mare for Baby Pony.
Pam: Just pretend Anna's at a sleep-away camp, Mrs. Harley.
Mrs. Harley: It sounds more like a work-away camp.
*cough cough* ISLAND LAKE. *cough cough*
Anna: Sand. What a pretty name for a horse. I bet she's a Palomino.
I'll bet she isn't.
Lol, I want a yellow convertible.
I agree! Baby is no name for a horse! It's right up there with all the other annoying overused names for animals.
Overused animal names: Baby, Oreo, Blackie, Brownie, Whitey, Tabby, Lucky, Muffin, Patches, Smokey
I like the name Oreo, tho. It's just that everyone who gets a black and white hamster is all, "OMFG, OREO!"
Heh. Victoria's horse is named Perfection. I'm totally getting a horse and naming him Irony.
The Pony Pals don't want to sell Baby Pony to Victoria Winters because she wants to train him and sell him for a lot of money. Uh, yeah, that's some people's JOB. That's so stupid, tho. Once they buy him, they can do whatever they want with him. Suck it up.
Whatever. Ponies are worth way more than $100.
OH NO! A HORSE NAMED FRECKLES! How I despise that name. That's right up there next to Blackie and Brownie.
Wait...Freckles is a horse...YES! HORSES DO EXIST IN "PONY PALS"!
Eve, Freckles' owner, is way annoying. "I would've taken care of my foal if he hadn't died. That's what my foal would've looked like. My foal would've eaten that grass. My foal would've voted Republican, bla bla bla...."
They rub the smell of Freckles' dead colt all over Baby Pony. Um, creepy??
WHAT? They decide to give Baby Pony away and will accept no money. I noticed Mr. Crandal isn't here to oversee this transaction. I bet he'll be mad when he finds out....
OH NO, SHE NAMES HIM LUCKY! *see list*
I'm sorry, I just really hate the name Lucky for a horse. Especially for a "witty" reason. "His name is Lucky, because I'm so lucky to have him." "His name is Lucky because he's my good luck charm!" "His name is Lucky because he's green like a Care Bear!" "Say whaaaat?"
And you thought Anna's handwriting was bad...Eve's is even worse.
Eve, Lucky, Freckles, and her dad are never heard from again....
Yeah. That was not enjoyable. I'm still waiting on "Circus Pony", but if it doesn't come in 2 days, I'll start reading "Keep Out, Pony" (#12) and "The Girl Who Hated Ponies" (#13). I also have "Pony Sitters" (#14) and "The Blind Pony" (#15), but those are painful to read.
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