While Pam and Anna chatted amiably, Lulu looked around at the various customers. She didn't recognize any of them and felt bad about it. Did that make her shallow? Sure, she liked "Gossip Girl" as much as the next person, and dressed a little bit skanky from time to time, but did that make her shallow? Then again, it had been a long time, and no one else had recognized her either. Pam, who was looking at the menu, scoffed at the prices.
"Your mom's upped the prices, Anna. $7.98 for a pancake platter?"
"Wait...she's finally made you guys start paying for your food?" Anna and Pam nodded sadly. Gone were the days of free brownies and Pony Pal specials. Now that they were seniors in high school, Mrs. Harley expected them to pay. Lulu was glad that she finally expected the Pony Pals to grow up, but secretly she wondered if she had enough money to buy anything. Assuming she did, she glanced at the menu. Hashbrowns and toast...eggs and bacon w/ toast...French toast...blueberry pancakes. There were so many carbs, it was as if Mrs. Harley WANTED Lulu to get fat.
"What can I get you guys?" A perky waitress asked, whipping out a pen and paper.
"I'll have blueberry pancakes." Pam answered.
"Same here." The waitress was looking at Lulu expectantly.
"Um..." Quickly, she perused the menu again. What sounded delicious and breakfast-y without being completely fatty and disgusting. "I'll have piece of apple pie." Crap. There went her diet. Anna and Pam stared at her in shock.
"Lulu!" Pam hissed. "What do you think you're doing?"
"What?" Lulu asked innocently, as the waitress took their menus.
"We always order the same thing!" Anna whispered violently. "It's a Pony Pal tradition!"
"Sorry," Lulu said, though she wasn't sorry at all. "I just felt like pie instead of pancakes."
"Pie isn't even a breakfast food!" Pam stated indignantly. They both glared at her, making Lulu feel incredibly small. She sunk down a little in her seat, stifling a whimper.
Then, as if nothing had ever happened, Pam and Anna went back to chatting. Lulu felt awkward.
"So," she said, breaking into their meaningless conversation. "What have I missed?" They began to tell her:
Tommy Rand, the town bully, had been held back twice, but dropped out the second time. He was now working at a garage, a place full of dirty cars and moral iniquity. Rema Baxter, thanks to her father's generous alumni donation, had been accepted into Yale. She joined a sorority, landed a spot on the honor roll, starred in numerous plays, sang in choir, and was a majorette in the marching band. Though there was a two year age difference, Rema had considered Lulu her biggest competition and, with her gone, she'd been able to be the best at everything, even horseback riding: even though their daughter had turned into a terrible rider who tended to blame the horse for everything, the Baxters thought they would try again and bought Rema a beautiful (though expensive) Arabian mare named Glittering Stardust from Heaven Above, or Geisha for short. Rema learned to ride again and began winning shows, even taking first place away from Pam, the best rider in the group. Pam was still mad about it and Anna, of course, hated Rema because she was a "snob".
Since ditching Tommy Rand in 8th grade, Mike Lacey had become a much nicer person. He started volunteering at the library, when he wasn't babysitting his younger sister, Rosalie, or working at Ms. Wiggins' house. Finally, after raising enough money, he'd moved to Chicago to live with his dad, leaving Rosalie to deal with their psychotic pony-hating mother. Rosalie was still devastated about Acorn's being sold and now, with Mike gone, her only friend was the bratty Mimi Kline. Mimi still rode Tongo, though he was way too small for either girl now that they'd hit puberty.
Charlie Olson, Mr. Olson's showboating nephew, still popped up from time to time, full of stories about Wyoming and cattle roping. The Pony Pals had since learned not to take him seriously.
As Lulu listened to all this, the waitress came by with their food. "Three stacks of blueberry pancakes," she announced, setting a plate in front of each girl. Lulu stared at the steaming hot pancakes before her.
"There must be some mistake," she began. "I ordered apple pie." The waitress stared at her blankly.
"I clearly remember you ordering pancakes. Would you like syrup?" Lulu didn't want any syrup; she wanted pie. She noticed Pam and Anna had triumphant grins on their face. It sort of pissed her off.
"What are you smiling about?" Instantly, the smiles disappeared.
"Nothing." Anna picked up her fork and took a bite of her pancakes. Pam did the same. Lulu sighed. Not wanting to start a fight, she began to eat also.
When they had been eating for a while, Lulu finally set down her fork and said, "I think we need a new name." Pam paused with a bite halfway to her lips. Anna swallowed hard.
"What?" She asked dangerously.
"Seriously," Lulu continued. "'The Pony Pals' is pretty...juvenile." Pam frowned. Anna shrugged as if to say, "Yeah? So?"
"SO," Lulu countered. "I think now that we're older, we need a name that sounds grown-up. Sure, we're 'pals' who like 'ponies', but we're not ten anymore."
"What name were you suggesting?" Pam tightened her grip on her fork, brandishing it like a weapon.
"I was wondering if you had any suggestions." Lulu knew she'd crossed a line, challenging Pam's authority. But, you know, so what? Pam had always been bossy; now it was her turn to take charge. Anna appeared to be thinking, always a dangerous thing.
"How about...The Really Cool Girls Who Like Ponies and Horses Both?" Pam and Lulu exchanged dubious glances, suddenly on the same side. Maybe it would be better to leave Anna out of this...
"Hello, girls," spoke a soft, mysterious voice. The girls looked up and saw Mr. Remington, the town librarian. He'd hardly aged in the past six years, though his jet black hair was turning the tiniest bit gray and there were wrinkles surrounding his ice blue eyes. "Lulu, it's a pleasure to see you. You've been gone a long time." Lulu suppressed a shiver. Mr. Remington, with his soft voice and Harry Potter obsession, had always given her the creeps.
"Hi, Mr. Remington," she said simply. He seemed satisfied with this greeting.
"I hear you're trying to think up a new name for your little..." He waved his hands in the air, trying to think of a suitable word.
"Cult?" Lulu squeaked. Pam glared at her. Neither Mr. Remington nor Anna had heard.
"Well, we're really good friends!" Anna piped up, trying to be helpful. Mr. Remington glanced at her but didn't say anything.
"Well, actually, we're companions." Pam said, trying to sound suave. It didn't work.
"And we love horses." Lulu said, purposefully ommitting the word "ponies". Mr. Remington looked thoughtful.
"Three companions...so be it. You shall be...the Horse Companions."
"All right!" The Horse Companions shouted, giving each other high fives. They turned to thank Mr. Remington, but he'd vanished.
Showing posts with label Lulu. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lulu. Show all posts
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
Lulu's Return: Part #1
Anna Harley opened her eyes at 5:00 AM, just like she did every morning. Pam Crandal snorted beside her.
"Wake up, Pam." Anna practically shouted in her ear. Pam groaned into her pillow. The two had grown out of barn sleepovers long ago and now preferred to sleep in Anna's bed. Pam was still having a hard time getting up.
"Pam!!" Anna squealed in an irritating fashion. Pam resolutely pulled the covers over her ears, so Anna gave up and went outside to feed the ponies.
Both Starfire and Snow White were already awake. Anna went to grab some hay, but paused near Acorn's empty stall. She sighed. After Lulu left, the inhabitants of Wiggins followed suit. Fat Cat "ran away", or so Dr. Crandal said, as to soften the blow for Jack and Jill. Shadow was hit by a car. Mr. and Mrs. Quinn were taken to the nursing home, and, without them knowing it, their pony Ginger was sold to the slaughterhouse. Even her beloved pony Acorn didn't stand a chance. Though both Rosalie and Anna had begged them not to, Mr. and Mrs. Harley sold Acorn to Mr. Olson during the recession. "You're both getting too big for him," they reasoned. Even so, Anna rarely spoke to her parents. She shook her head, refusing to think about it.
When she went back inside, Pam was in the kitchen, cooking breakfast. "Blueberry pancakes," she grunted, shuffling around the kitchen like an old woman. Anna stifled a groan. Back in the golden days, when she, Pam, and Lulu had been called "The Pony Pals", she'd eaten brownies, spaghetti, and blueberry pancakes by the truckload. But puberty hadn't been especially nice to her and there was a bit of extra pudge around her middle from all the scrumptious carbs.
"Uh...I think I'll pass...." She made herself a protein shake and forced herself to drink it. Mmmm, so healthy. She wouldn't have to eat again until dinnertime!
"Are you excited for school?" Pam asked pleasantly, suddenly cheerful. It was hard to get even-keeled Pam excited about anything, but homework and extra credit gave her a thrill like nothing else. She was especially excited because they'd be starting their senior year in 3 days time.
Anna, on the other hand, still hated school. It wasn't just the condescending teachers or the dyslexia, but hormones and teenage girls made school almost impossible to deal with. Pam just didn't understand; she'd never had acne, and her periods lasted a grand total of 2 days. Sometimes Anna wondered how heavy her friend's flow was. But only sometimes.
"Anna!" Pam hissed all of a sudden. Anna snapped out of her perverted reverie.
"What?"
"Someone's in the paddock!" Anna ran to the window, and saw a strange girl with Snow White. Strange... She couldn't recall letting the either animal out of their stall....
"She's trying to steal the ponies!" It was a fear she'd often had when she was a kid. But the ponies didn't seem to be frightened. Snow White seemed downright cheerful. And the girl, though strange, was starting to look a little familiar...
"PAM!!!" Anna screamed.
"What?"
"You're not going to believe this."
"What?"
"It's...it's...it's..."
"ENOUGH WITH THE SUSPENSE! TELL ME WHO IT IS OR I'LL DESTROY YOU!" Complete silence followed Pam's loud outburst. Anna wondered if the time of the month she'd been pondering just moments ago had come around again. She then remembered the important thing she had to tell Pam.
"That's Lulu outside with the ponies! She's back!"
"Wake up, Pam." Anna practically shouted in her ear. Pam groaned into her pillow. The two had grown out of barn sleepovers long ago and now preferred to sleep in Anna's bed. Pam was still having a hard time getting up.
"Pam!!" Anna squealed in an irritating fashion. Pam resolutely pulled the covers over her ears, so Anna gave up and went outside to feed the ponies.
Both Starfire and Snow White were already awake. Anna went to grab some hay, but paused near Acorn's empty stall. She sighed. After Lulu left, the inhabitants of Wiggins followed suit. Fat Cat "ran away", or so Dr. Crandal said, as to soften the blow for Jack and Jill. Shadow was hit by a car. Mr. and Mrs. Quinn were taken to the nursing home, and, without them knowing it, their pony Ginger was sold to the slaughterhouse. Even her beloved pony Acorn didn't stand a chance. Though both Rosalie and Anna had begged them not to, Mr. and Mrs. Harley sold Acorn to Mr. Olson during the recession. "You're both getting too big for him," they reasoned. Even so, Anna rarely spoke to her parents. She shook her head, refusing to think about it.
When she went back inside, Pam was in the kitchen, cooking breakfast. "Blueberry pancakes," she grunted, shuffling around the kitchen like an old woman. Anna stifled a groan. Back in the golden days, when she, Pam, and Lulu had been called "The Pony Pals", she'd eaten brownies, spaghetti, and blueberry pancakes by the truckload. But puberty hadn't been especially nice to her and there was a bit of extra pudge around her middle from all the scrumptious carbs.
"Uh...I think I'll pass...." She made herself a protein shake and forced herself to drink it. Mmmm, so healthy. She wouldn't have to eat again until dinnertime!
"Are you excited for school?" Pam asked pleasantly, suddenly cheerful. It was hard to get even-keeled Pam excited about anything, but homework and extra credit gave her a thrill like nothing else. She was especially excited because they'd be starting their senior year in 3 days time.
Anna, on the other hand, still hated school. It wasn't just the condescending teachers or the dyslexia, but hormones and teenage girls made school almost impossible to deal with. Pam just didn't understand; she'd never had acne, and her periods lasted a grand total of 2 days. Sometimes Anna wondered how heavy her friend's flow was. But only sometimes.
"Anna!" Pam hissed all of a sudden. Anna snapped out of her perverted reverie.
"What?"
"Someone's in the paddock!" Anna ran to the window, and saw a strange girl with Snow White. Strange... She couldn't recall letting the either animal out of their stall....
"She's trying to steal the ponies!" It was a fear she'd often had when she was a kid. But the ponies didn't seem to be frightened. Snow White seemed downright cheerful. And the girl, though strange, was starting to look a little familiar...
"PAM!!!" Anna screamed.
"What?"
"You're not going to believe this."
"What?"
"It's...it's...it's..."
"ENOUGH WITH THE SUSPENSE! TELL ME WHO IT IS OR I'LL DESTROY YOU!" Complete silence followed Pam's loud outburst. Anna wondered if the time of the month she'd been pondering just moments ago had come around again. She then remembered the important thing she had to tell Pam.
"That's Lulu outside with the ponies! She's back!"
6 years later....
The Pony Pals have grown too big for ponies...
They are now known as THE HORSE COMPANIONS!
Horse Companions #1: Lulu's Return
After 6 years apart, the Pony Pals (ahem, Horse Companions) are finally reunited for their senior year of high school when Lulu comes back to Wiggins. But things are different between them now. Lulu doesn't like to ride anymore! Anna's happy with Charlie, but now that Lulu's back in town, she can't seem to choose between them! Pam was happy when Lulu left, but now that she's back, in seems everyone is back under her spell. Will the three ever be friends again?
Coming soon, summer 2009!
They are now known as THE HORSE COMPANIONS!
Horse Companions #1: Lulu's Return
After 6 years apart, the Pony Pals (ahem, Horse Companions) are finally reunited for their senior year of high school when Lulu comes back to Wiggins. But things are different between them now. Lulu doesn't like to ride anymore! Anna's happy with Charlie, but now that Lulu's back in town, she can't seem to choose between them! Pam was happy when Lulu left, but now that she's back, in seems everyone is back under her spell. Will the three ever be friends again?
Coming soon, summer 2009!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Months of toil now at an end, or Pony Pals Super Special #6: The Last Pony Ride
This is it, guys. The very last Pony Pals book.
Plot: Major changes are going on in Wiggins. Lulu's father wants to her to move to Africa with him! Pam and Anna are getting too big for their ponies!!! What is going on???
First, let's deal with Pam: Pam finds it's getting a tad uncomfortable to ride Lightning. At the same time, Eleanor Whats-her-face has given Pam her horse Starfire after a tragic riding accident, forcing him (not her; she got a new horse) to retire early. Pam is torn between the pony she loves and the horse she longs to care for.
Her mom is totally NOT helping, by hinting that Lightning is a boring old nag that should be sold for glue.
In the end, Pam chooses to keep Starfire and let her mom use Lightning as a school pony, but still take care of her old pony every day.
Good choice.
Now Lulu: Her dad suddenly wants her to move to Africa with him, because he doesn't want to miss her childhood.
Hello???
Then why did you dump her in Wiggins with her grandmother in the FIRST PLACE???
Lulu begs her father to let her stay in Wiggins, with her FRIENDS, and GRANDMA, and PONY, but her dad insists she move to a country (Botwswana) with civil wars so she can make new friends. Because introverts are soooooo good at that.
Lulu has been defeated by her SUCKY FATHER!!! She decides to give Snow White to Anna, because Snow White is the perfect size for her 4'10" friend.
Anna: Basically what was just said about Lulu. She doesn't want her friends to move and change and go through puberty and that, and she doesn't want to give up Acorn. So she asks her parents if she can have TWO ponies (Snow White and Acorn), and Mike Lacey agrees to help her with barn chores so she doesn't get behind in school.
So Anna has two ponies, Lulu has no pony, and Pam has a horse AND a pony.
Not fair.
So Lulu moves to Africa, taking with her a scrapbook of all the Pony Pal's adventures. AWwww.
More notes:
Can I just say I REALLY liked this book? It was sweet.
Except for all the really bad parents.
Isn't Botswana one of the wartorn countries??
Ooh, Lulu got to ride an elephant!! How exotic!
Whatever. I could still ride ponies like Acorn in like 6th grade at 5'4". Anna is 6 inches shorter than that. She needs to suck it up. Just lengthen your stirrups, honey.
Eleanor is such a fake. "Oooh, I miss Starfire! He'll never be able to compete again!"
So she dumps him on a ten-year-old and buys a NEW horse to compete with.
Pam is 5'4", too, and she's too big for Lightning???? Lightning is 14 hands. She should be the perfect height!!
Pam's mom is so annoying. I really, REALLY despise her.
Ugh.
Eleanor: I thought Starfire and I wouldbe a team forever. Now I'm training another horse. I'll walk him around a little. Then I have to go back and ride my new horse. You'll always be my star! *sob*
-_-
Mr. Crandal shaved!!!!!!! He looks Samoan.
Starfire is so named because he has a white STAR marking on his forehead, but that marking is not evident in the illustration.
Ooh, Dr. Crandal's in on it, too.
If your daughter was happy with a pony, why wouldn't you let her be??
And if Pam isn't too big to ride DAISY and SPLASH and train numerous other ponies, she really shouldn't be too big for Lightning!
Mike: Is this something for Lulu?
Anna: Yeah. It's going to say 'Welcome home.' Pam was supposed to write it, but she's not here yet. And Lulu will be here any minute.
Mike: I'll write it for you. I print good.
Yeah, but you don't speak so well.
The writing in this book is definitely more improved than previous books, but Ms. Betancourt still has a tendency to repeat phrases.
Okay, Mr. Sanders wants Lulu to have some permanence in her life, so he's ripping her out of her comfortable life in Wiggins to live with him in Botswana...FOR TWO YEARS. THEN where are they going to move, I wonder?
Oh, it's going to be so great, Lulu! People speak English there, and you can go to school, and your dad bought an apartment for the two of you!
Oh, and you can't bring Snow White.
Pam: Did you tell your dad you didn't want to move to Africa?
Lulu: It seemed like an okay idea when I was there.
Anna: What does your grandmother always want us to do?
Lulu: Be girlie girls.
I'm glad she has such high expectations.
They let Grandma Sandy give them makeovers, then beg her to tell her irresponsible son to let his daughter stay where she pleases.
Grandma: Makeovers! What a lovely idea. I have a great idea for Anna's hair. A shade of pink nail polish would be perfect for girls your age. And there's a new aqua one with sparkles.
Lulu: I bet Pam would like that one.
Hehehe.
SHE STRAIGHTENS ANNA'S HAIR!!
I think Pam is over Lightning. She forgets what gender her pony is.
This sounds like something from a horror movie.
"Lulu's grandmother turned her attention to Lulu. 'Now I am going to give you curls,' she announced cheerfully."
Whoa, pink and silver beads totally don't go with sparkly aqua nail polish.
Moral of this story: Tomboys are better.
Charlie's back in town!! What, he's 12??? I thought he was 14. He's best friends with Mike and Tommy, isn't he??? WHY WOULD THEY HANG OUT WITH A 12-YEAR-OLD??
Uh oh. They go out to dinner at the diner, looking like girls...and see Tommy, Charlie, and Mike.
Recipe for disaster.
Tommy: Look at the Pony Pests. They're trying to be girls.
Jerk. He's probably a homophobe.
Which is weird, cuz he's gay with Mike.
Is it possible to be a gay homophobe?
I guess that's called hypocrisy.
Meow, Lulu looks like Evangeline Lilly.
Grandma: Riding helmets will crush your new hairdos.
Forsake your riding safety, Lulu! I don't care if you die in a riding accident as long as your corpse looks good!
Then she says: Don't worry about it, dear. It's you I love. Not what your hair looks like.
Which is, like, the opposite of what you've been telling her all these years.
Surprise! Starfire is Pam's now.
And her mom still sucks.
Mrs. Crandal totally drops that bomb on her, and then when Pam reacts, is all, "Sorry, I'm busy, we'll discuss this later."
Haaaate.
Anna's in denial. She doesn't realize she's too huge for Acorn (though in the picture all the girls are the same size and look aptly suited to their ponies).
WHOA!!!
Never tell Anna anything, or she might react like this:
"You're going to have a horse! You're giving up Lightning! If you have Starfire, you won't ride her at all. You're disloyal and you're bad Pony Pals. Both of you!!"
*runs away crying*
The Pony Pals decide to let her cool off on her own for a while.
THEY'RE LEARNING! HALLELUJAH!
Oh. Anna admits she's a little psycho. And sad. And resistant to change.
Awwww.
I HATE LULU'S DAD!!!
He's SO SELFISH! If he wants to be with Lulu so badly, why isn't he putting her best interests into the picture??
It's been about his career all this time, and it's STILL about his career.
He claims he doesn't want to miss anymore of her childhood, that she should remain in one place, and that they belong together.
If that's so, MOVE TO WIGGINS TO BE WITH YOUR KID, YOU SELFISH LOSER!!!
He's SUCH a jerk.
And it sucks cuz Lulu probably knows this, but she does love and her dad and wants to live with him.
This is the part of the book that made me really sad. And incensed. But pretty sad, too.
THE MOMENT OF TRUTH:
Tommy: Good riddance. We have too many Pony Pests around here. We need pest control.
Mike: Stop it! Stop being mean. It's not funny.
Tommy: Good riddance to you, too. You're a bigger pest than they are.
Wow. I guess it's really over. Now Mike and Anna can hook up!!
Unless...uh oh....
Mike: He makes me so mad sometimes. He's a lousy friend.
Charlie: *pats him on the back* You can find better guys than him to hang out with. [Read: ME!]
Mike: *smile* I guess.
Awww, so much for Mike + Anna.
That would be the awesomest fanfic ever. An Anna, Mike, and Charlie love triangle.
Lulu thinks up some pretty smart ideas.
Idea #1: She wants to give Snow White to Anna, because Snow White knows Anna and giving her away is easier than selling her.
Idea #2: They can enter the 21st century (yay!) and use e-mail to communicate.
They agree to e-mail every week.
Every WEEK?? Come on. Use IM and talk every DAY.
What's with the idea that hobbies detract from schoolwork? I disagree. There can be a balance, and Anna does have a legitimate learning disability.
Mrs. Harley isn't the nicest mom either.
Anna: Acorn and Snow White shouldn't be seperated. They're best friends. They're stablemates.
Mrs. Harley: Of course they can be separated. Ponies are bought and sold all the time. You can only have one pony. That's more than most kids have. I'm sorry, Anna. You'll have to decide what pony you want.
Harsh!! I can understand the financial burden another pony would bring, but seriously??? Your kid's grades should have NOTHING to do with the decision, lady. And she has to choose? Way mean.
No way!!!
Rosalie wishes she could ride ponies more often.
Anna can't take care of two ponies.
Mike offers to take care of both ponies, in exchange for more riding time for Rosalie.
That's so nice!!!!
Basically, they make Mike do ALL the barn chores.
Whoa, that wasn't in the agreement. Anna should still help out.
Haha, we find out the Pony Pals' middle names.
Mike's middle name is John. Lame.
Charlie's is K. Huh. Like Harry S. Truman.
Pam's is Eleanor (after the famous chick who tossed her injured horse over Pam's way).
Anna's is Marie.
Lulu doesn't have a middle name. That's why she's no longer in the club and has to move to Africa.
"I heard you're moving to AFrica. It's a wonderful oppurtunity for you."
That's Mr. Harley talking. I suppose that's true, but all the same, how inconsiderate.
This girl has to leave most of her family and friends (AND PONY) to a completely different culture where there are wars and dangerous animals and excessive heat.
Not that I have anything against Africa (quite the opposite), but if I was forced to move there, I'd be cutting myself now.
How convenient. Rosalie is the perfect size for Acorn. So, in essence, Acorn is Rosalie's pony now.
Yay, the Harley's agreed!
They say goodbye to almost everyone in Wiggins, and reference quite a few of the past books. This includes:
Ms. McGee (Historical Society Chick); Mike's grandma (after they found her secret letter in the secret spot in #31); Ms. Raskins (the slacker girl in charge of St. Francis Animal Shelter); Eve Greeley and Lucky (the pony they raised from birth); Mr. and Mrs. Quinn (the old people with the old pony); Mimi Klein and Tongo (the bratty girl with her bratty pony); Mr. Olson (creepy old man/Charlie's uncle); and Mr. Remington (the cool, Harry Potter-obsessed librarian).
They throw a going-away party for Lulu, where they serve all her favorite foods: spaghetti and brownies!!!
Aw. Grandma Sandy buys them matching pony necklaces to help them remember the now defunct Pony Pals.
They have a profile in the back of the book on each character and pony.
Lulu is 5 feet, and likes detective work and spaghetti, but not fussing with her hair.
Anna is 4'10" (!!), and likes brownies and drawing, but not school.
Pam is 5'4" (at 10 years old!!!), and likes jumping and being in charge (that's for sure), but not bossy people (ironically enough).
The Happiest Pony Pal Moment:
When Lulu got Snow White and we knew we would be the Pony Pals.
I can think of happier Pony Pal Moments.
Not off the top of my head, but if I tried really hard....
The Saddest Pony Pal Moment:
When we found out that Lulu was moving.
What about when Winston died?
Well, yeah, I guess friend moving FOREVER trumps pony dying FOREVER.
Not even being sarcastic.
Awww. I miss them already.
Seriously, when did I start this blog?? Remember when it was originally JUST Pony Pals?
Well, now there are no more Pony Pals...
...AND I REALLY MISS THEM.
But I do have plenty of Madison Finns to keep you entertained. That should be fun.
Next stop: Madison Finn Super Special #1. Someone's getting married!!!
Plot: Major changes are going on in Wiggins. Lulu's father wants to her to move to Africa with him! Pam and Anna are getting too big for their ponies!!! What is going on???
First, let's deal with Pam: Pam finds it's getting a tad uncomfortable to ride Lightning. At the same time, Eleanor Whats-her-face has given Pam her horse Starfire after a tragic riding accident, forcing him (not her; she got a new horse) to retire early. Pam is torn between the pony she loves and the horse she longs to care for.
Her mom is totally NOT helping, by hinting that Lightning is a boring old nag that should be sold for glue.
In the end, Pam chooses to keep Starfire and let her mom use Lightning as a school pony, but still take care of her old pony every day.
Good choice.
Now Lulu: Her dad suddenly wants her to move to Africa with him, because he doesn't want to miss her childhood.
Hello???
Then why did you dump her in Wiggins with her grandmother in the FIRST PLACE???
Lulu begs her father to let her stay in Wiggins, with her FRIENDS, and GRANDMA, and PONY, but her dad insists she move to a country (Botwswana) with civil wars so she can make new friends. Because introverts are soooooo good at that.
Lulu has been defeated by her SUCKY FATHER!!! She decides to give Snow White to Anna, because Snow White is the perfect size for her 4'10" friend.
Anna: Basically what was just said about Lulu. She doesn't want her friends to move and change and go through puberty and that, and she doesn't want to give up Acorn. So she asks her parents if she can have TWO ponies (Snow White and Acorn), and Mike Lacey agrees to help her with barn chores so she doesn't get behind in school.
So Anna has two ponies, Lulu has no pony, and Pam has a horse AND a pony.
Not fair.
So Lulu moves to Africa, taking with her a scrapbook of all the Pony Pal's adventures. AWwww.
More notes:
Can I just say I REALLY liked this book? It was sweet.
Except for all the really bad parents.
Isn't Botswana one of the wartorn countries??
Ooh, Lulu got to ride an elephant!! How exotic!
Whatever. I could still ride ponies like Acorn in like 6th grade at 5'4". Anna is 6 inches shorter than that. She needs to suck it up. Just lengthen your stirrups, honey.
Eleanor is such a fake. "Oooh, I miss Starfire! He'll never be able to compete again!"
So she dumps him on a ten-year-old and buys a NEW horse to compete with.
Pam is 5'4", too, and she's too big for Lightning???? Lightning is 14 hands. She should be the perfect height!!
Pam's mom is so annoying. I really, REALLY despise her.
Ugh.
Eleanor: I thought Starfire and I wouldbe a team forever. Now I'm training another horse. I'll walk him around a little. Then I have to go back and ride my new horse. You'll always be my star! *sob*
-_-
Mr. Crandal shaved!!!!!!! He looks Samoan.
Starfire is so named because he has a white STAR marking on his forehead, but that marking is not evident in the illustration.
Ooh, Dr. Crandal's in on it, too.
If your daughter was happy with a pony, why wouldn't you let her be??
And if Pam isn't too big to ride DAISY and SPLASH and train numerous other ponies, she really shouldn't be too big for Lightning!
Mike: Is this something for Lulu?
Anna: Yeah. It's going to say 'Welcome home.' Pam was supposed to write it, but she's not here yet. And Lulu will be here any minute.
Mike: I'll write it for you. I print good.
Yeah, but you don't speak so well.
The writing in this book is definitely more improved than previous books, but Ms. Betancourt still has a tendency to repeat phrases.
Okay, Mr. Sanders wants Lulu to have some permanence in her life, so he's ripping her out of her comfortable life in Wiggins to live with him in Botswana...FOR TWO YEARS. THEN where are they going to move, I wonder?
Oh, it's going to be so great, Lulu! People speak English there, and you can go to school, and your dad bought an apartment for the two of you!
Oh, and you can't bring Snow White.
Pam: Did you tell your dad you didn't want to move to Africa?
Lulu: It seemed like an okay idea when I was there.
Anna: What does your grandmother always want us to do?
Lulu: Be girlie girls.
I'm glad she has such high expectations.
They let Grandma Sandy give them makeovers, then beg her to tell her irresponsible son to let his daughter stay where she pleases.
Grandma: Makeovers! What a lovely idea. I have a great idea for Anna's hair. A shade of pink nail polish would be perfect for girls your age. And there's a new aqua one with sparkles.
Lulu: I bet Pam would like that one.
Hehehe.
SHE STRAIGHTENS ANNA'S HAIR!!
I think Pam is over Lightning. She forgets what gender her pony is.
This sounds like something from a horror movie.
"Lulu's grandmother turned her attention to Lulu. 'Now I am going to give you curls,' she announced cheerfully."
Whoa, pink and silver beads totally don't go with sparkly aqua nail polish.
Moral of this story: Tomboys are better.
Charlie's back in town!! What, he's 12??? I thought he was 14. He's best friends with Mike and Tommy, isn't he??? WHY WOULD THEY HANG OUT WITH A 12-YEAR-OLD??
Uh oh. They go out to dinner at the diner, looking like girls...and see Tommy, Charlie, and Mike.
Recipe for disaster.
Tommy: Look at the Pony Pests. They're trying to be girls.
Jerk. He's probably a homophobe.
Which is weird, cuz he's gay with Mike.
Is it possible to be a gay homophobe?
I guess that's called hypocrisy.
Meow, Lulu looks like Evangeline Lilly.
Grandma: Riding helmets will crush your new hairdos.
Forsake your riding safety, Lulu! I don't care if you die in a riding accident as long as your corpse looks good!
Then she says: Don't worry about it, dear. It's you I love. Not what your hair looks like.
Which is, like, the opposite of what you've been telling her all these years.
Surprise! Starfire is Pam's now.
And her mom still sucks.
Mrs. Crandal totally drops that bomb on her, and then when Pam reacts, is all, "Sorry, I'm busy, we'll discuss this later."
Haaaate.
Anna's in denial. She doesn't realize she's too huge for Acorn (though in the picture all the girls are the same size and look aptly suited to their ponies).
WHOA!!!
Never tell Anna anything, or she might react like this:
"You're going to have a horse! You're giving up Lightning! If you have Starfire, you won't ride her at all. You're disloyal and you're bad Pony Pals. Both of you!!"
*runs away crying*
The Pony Pals decide to let her cool off on her own for a while.
THEY'RE LEARNING! HALLELUJAH!
Oh. Anna admits she's a little psycho. And sad. And resistant to change.
Awwww.
I HATE LULU'S DAD!!!
He's SO SELFISH! If he wants to be with Lulu so badly, why isn't he putting her best interests into the picture??
It's been about his career all this time, and it's STILL about his career.
He claims he doesn't want to miss anymore of her childhood, that she should remain in one place, and that they belong together.
If that's so, MOVE TO WIGGINS TO BE WITH YOUR KID, YOU SELFISH LOSER!!!
He's SUCH a jerk.
And it sucks cuz Lulu probably knows this, but she does love and her dad and wants to live with him.
This is the part of the book that made me really sad. And incensed. But pretty sad, too.
THE MOMENT OF TRUTH:
Tommy: Good riddance. We have too many Pony Pests around here. We need pest control.
Mike: Stop it! Stop being mean. It's not funny.
Tommy: Good riddance to you, too. You're a bigger pest than they are.
Wow. I guess it's really over. Now Mike and Anna can hook up!!
Unless...uh oh....
Mike: He makes me so mad sometimes. He's a lousy friend.
Charlie: *pats him on the back* You can find better guys than him to hang out with. [Read: ME!]
Mike: *smile* I guess.
Awww, so much for Mike + Anna.
That would be the awesomest fanfic ever. An Anna, Mike, and Charlie love triangle.
Lulu thinks up some pretty smart ideas.
Idea #1: She wants to give Snow White to Anna, because Snow White knows Anna and giving her away is easier than selling her.
Idea #2: They can enter the 21st century (yay!) and use e-mail to communicate.
They agree to e-mail every week.
Every WEEK?? Come on. Use IM and talk every DAY.
What's with the idea that hobbies detract from schoolwork? I disagree. There can be a balance, and Anna does have a legitimate learning disability.
Mrs. Harley isn't the nicest mom either.
Anna: Acorn and Snow White shouldn't be seperated. They're best friends. They're stablemates.
Mrs. Harley: Of course they can be separated. Ponies are bought and sold all the time. You can only have one pony. That's more than most kids have. I'm sorry, Anna. You'll have to decide what pony you want.
Harsh!! I can understand the financial burden another pony would bring, but seriously??? Your kid's grades should have NOTHING to do with the decision, lady. And she has to choose? Way mean.
No way!!!
Rosalie wishes she could ride ponies more often.
Anna can't take care of two ponies.
Mike offers to take care of both ponies, in exchange for more riding time for Rosalie.
That's so nice!!!!
Basically, they make Mike do ALL the barn chores.
Whoa, that wasn't in the agreement. Anna should still help out.
Haha, we find out the Pony Pals' middle names.
Mike's middle name is John. Lame.
Charlie's is K. Huh. Like Harry S. Truman.
Pam's is Eleanor (after the famous chick who tossed her injured horse over Pam's way).
Anna's is Marie.
Lulu doesn't have a middle name. That's why she's no longer in the club and has to move to Africa.
"I heard you're moving to AFrica. It's a wonderful oppurtunity for you."
That's Mr. Harley talking. I suppose that's true, but all the same, how inconsiderate.
This girl has to leave most of her family and friends (AND PONY) to a completely different culture where there are wars and dangerous animals and excessive heat.
Not that I have anything against Africa (quite the opposite), but if I was forced to move there, I'd be cutting myself now.
How convenient. Rosalie is the perfect size for Acorn. So, in essence, Acorn is Rosalie's pony now.
Yay, the Harley's agreed!
They say goodbye to almost everyone in Wiggins, and reference quite a few of the past books. This includes:
Ms. McGee (Historical Society Chick); Mike's grandma (after they found her secret letter in the secret spot in #31); Ms. Raskins (the slacker girl in charge of St. Francis Animal Shelter); Eve Greeley and Lucky (the pony they raised from birth); Mr. and Mrs. Quinn (the old people with the old pony); Mimi Klein and Tongo (the bratty girl with her bratty pony); Mr. Olson (creepy old man/Charlie's uncle); and Mr. Remington (the cool, Harry Potter-obsessed librarian).
They throw a going-away party for Lulu, where they serve all her favorite foods: spaghetti and brownies!!!
Aw. Grandma Sandy buys them matching pony necklaces to help them remember the now defunct Pony Pals.
They have a profile in the back of the book on each character and pony.
Lulu is 5 feet, and likes detective work and spaghetti, but not fussing with her hair.
Anna is 4'10" (!!), and likes brownies and drawing, but not school.
Pam is 5'4" (at 10 years old!!!), and likes jumping and being in charge (that's for sure), but not bossy people (ironically enough).
The Happiest Pony Pal Moment:
When Lulu got Snow White and we knew we would be the Pony Pals.
I can think of happier Pony Pal Moments.
Not off the top of my head, but if I tried really hard....
The Saddest Pony Pal Moment:
When we found out that Lulu was moving.
What about when Winston died?
Well, yeah, I guess friend moving FOREVER trumps pony dying FOREVER.
Not even being sarcastic.
Awww. I miss them already.
Seriously, when did I start this blog?? Remember when it was originally JUST Pony Pals?
Well, now there are no more Pony Pals...
...AND I REALLY MISS THEM.
But I do have plenty of Madison Finns to keep you entertained. That should be fun.
Next stop: Madison Finn Super Special #1. Someone's getting married!!!
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Why my parents got me a dog instead, or Pony Pals #37: No Ponies in the House!
When I was little, I always wanted a pony (or a dog).
Unfortunately, my Navy dad had us living in an apartment, and a pony wouldn't have done well in a storage unit.
Though I'm not sure where we could've found Ponies For Sale in Japan.
Not on base, anyway.
Plot: Rosalie is driving everyone crazy! The pet-deprived little girl has just been blessed with a hamster named Alfie. It's only temporary, however; if Rosalie doesn't take good care of Alfie, she'll have to give him back!!
Mike has been dropping Rosalie off at Lulu's house so he can go on "fishing trips" with his boyfriend Tommy (we know what they're really up to). With Anna out of town and Pam working for her mom, Lulu has no one to help her watch the precocious six-year-old. When Rosalie goes off on her own with Acorn and Alfie, it's the last straw.
But before they can punish Rosalie, Alfie goes missing in Lulu's house! Grandmother Sanders has one cardinal rule: NO ANIMALS IN THE HOUSE!!! Grandma Sandy threatens to call the exterminator if they don't find the lovable creature.
Pony Pals to the rescue! Anna comes home and Pam ditches her mom and the three of them team up in the kitchen to find Alfie. They concoct a crazy plan: they'll bring Snow White into the house to find Alfie! They're friends, after all. Snow White sniffs out the mischeivous hamster and all is well; Grandma Sandy doesn't even notice!
Rosalie feels she has to give up Alfie for his own safety; he might've died in that lonely kitchen!! The Pony Pals (and Mike!) make a new, fun-filled cage for Alfie so he won't be bored and Rosalie won't have to carry him around in her pocket.
Then, randomly, Lulu's Dad comes home!!! Where...? Whatever.
More notes:
What is it with women and barrettes? My mom was always wanting to put my hair in barrettes, and Grandma Sandy is just as bad.
Anna is in the city visiting her uncle. Which city, pray tell?
Awww, Alfie is a Teddy Bear Hamster. I had one of those!!
"'The school had a bunch of extra hamsters,' explained Mike. 'Mom is letting Rosalie keep him on a trial basis. If Alfie's any trouble, back he goes.'"
What?? Why would the school have extra hamsters? What do you need hamsters for??
Oooooh noooooo....
Now I know what makes the pepperoni taste so good!!!!
Mike tries to dump Rosalie on Lulu. Nice try.
Mimi's gone, too? Where is everybody??
Carrying Alfie around in your hands is safer than having him in a pocket where he could LEAP OUT.
"'Hi, Lulu,' said Mrs. Crandal. 'We're having a beginning rider clinic today and tomorrow. My assistant is sick, so Pam's helping.'
'Sorry. I can't ride for a couple of days,' Pam told Lulu.
Lulu didn't think Pam looked sorry. She looked happy."
I'd be happy, too. Especially if I was getting PAID. I'm assuming that's where Pam's smile is coming from.
Mr. Sanders wins an award for being the worst parent ever. Not only have we not heard from him for a while, Lulu won't be seeing him for 2 more months.
He sent her to Wiggins cuz he couldn't handle having a kid. I wonder if he did that to his wife before she died. That must've been inconvenient for him.
Lulu: Rosalie, this isn't the time to cry. You won't be able to see Alfie if you're crying.
Way to comfort the crying kid, Lulu. You're a natural.
Heh. They find Alfie in the grain box, his cheeks puffy with grain. My hamster used to do that...and then she'd try to climb up the tubes. Not those tubes. Sickos.
AAARGH. Grandma Sandy is afraid of hamsters because they're RODENTS.
My mom has the same problem with rats.
Even rats that are completely clean, nice, smart, and trained for the Rat Olympics she has a problem with.
Mr. Lacey's kind of a sucky parent, too. His kids never see him because he's too cheap to send them tickets to fly to Chicago.
Lulu and Rosalie talk about things they have in common.
Well, let's see.
1. Their dads suck.
2. They're legal guardians both have a stick up their butt.
3. They hate boys!!
Mike and Tommy went on a "fishing trip"....
Ugh, Lulu left Rosalie by herself and she disappears. Way to go, Lulu.
Rosalie told Lulu Mike was picking her up in an hour...but that was a LIE!
Tommy encourages Rosalie's rebellious behavior. He's a GREAT boyfriend, Mike!
Rather than tell Rosalie's mother, they keep it secret. Why would telling her cause her to lose Alfie, though? It's not as if ALFIE caused this mess.
Tommy: Rosalie can stay with the Pony Pests. Baby-sitting is girls' work.
Sexist pig.
Aw. A hamster sitting on a pony's back - that would be the cutest picture ever.
Rosalie shows up at Lulu's house.
Rosalie: Don't worry, I wrote Mike a note so he won't be mad. *hands Lulu the note*
Lulu: Why do you still have the note if it's for Mike?
Lol. Couldn't not laugh at that one.
"I'm sorry. I did bad things. I'm really and truly and very really sorry."
Whatever. It's the death penalty for you.
Alfie disappears...just as Grandma Sandy enters the kitchen.
Uh oh.
That's so mean!! You can't call an exterminator on someone's pet hamster!!
Rofl.
"Don't try to butter me up, Lucinda. You know I don't like animals."
Conveniently enough, the phone is dead, so Grandma can't call the exterminator!
"Well, I can't even phone an exterminator right now, can I? I can't even call the telephone company to say that the phone doesn't work."
Why would you do that?? If the phone doesn't work...never mind.
That's like e-mailing someone and then calling them on the phone and saying, "I sent you an e-mail."
True story.
They make spaghetti for dinner.
It's like all they eat is carbs, carbs, carbs. Brownies, spaghetti...when will it end????
Shouldn't it be easier to find a hamster when it's asleep? Because then it will only be in one place, not moving around all confusingly.
When Alfie appears, they don't want to grab him. Instead, they'll use pots and pans, which serve exactly the same purpose. Stupid.
OMG!! They don't find Alfie, but they find MICE IN THE CUPBOARD!!!!!!!!!! And this doesn't freak you out????? You might have an INFESTATION!!!
"Anna opened the freezer door. 'Hm-m,' she said thoughtfully. 'How about some chocolate ice cream? I always think better when I've had some ice cream.'
Liar. You just wanted ice cream.
Pam: I've never heard of a pony or a horse liking a hamster.
Now, do you mean "like" or "like like"?
Lulu's worried Snow White will crap on the carpet.
Which she almost does.
But Pam catches it in a bucket.
That's kind of disgusting.
Anna has to pretend she had a nightmare so Grandma Sandy won't go into the kitchen. "There was a monster. The monster had awful yellow eyes. And it was chasing me. It was going to kill me!!!!"
Grandma almost goes into the kitchen to get some warm milk. NOOOOOOO!
Alfie was sitting on Snow White's back the whole time??? Lame!!!
Alfie's on drugs. He starts walking upside down inside the strainer.
Skillz.
Uh oh. Grandma Sandy finds Snow White's hair on the kitchen floor!!!!
Anna: It's simple. Remember when we brushed out the ponies yesterday, Lulu? I bet hair from Snow White's mane was on your clothes. It fell off in the kitchen.
Liar, liar, pants on fire.
Rosalie feels guilty and wants to give away Alfie...because she almost KILLED Acorn.
Way to go, Pony Pals. That was a long time ago.
The Pony Pals talk about all the times they screwed up with animals. Anna killed her goldfish. Pam made Woolie run away. Lulu lost Rosalie...wait.
Whoa!!! In the picture, Mike looks way hot for a 12-14 year old boy.
Alfie gets bored because his cage is lamesauce. So they spruce it up for him.
Tommy's afraid of Alfie. Ha.
Sucky Dad comes home!!! Hurray for Mr. Sanders!!! :P
That's it. Madison Finn tomorrow, hopefully.
Unfortunately, my Navy dad had us living in an apartment, and a pony wouldn't have done well in a storage unit.
Though I'm not sure where we could've found Ponies For Sale in Japan.
Not on base, anyway.
Plot: Rosalie is driving everyone crazy! The pet-deprived little girl has just been blessed with a hamster named Alfie. It's only temporary, however; if Rosalie doesn't take good care of Alfie, she'll have to give him back!!
Mike has been dropping Rosalie off at Lulu's house so he can go on "fishing trips" with his boyfriend Tommy (we know what they're really up to). With Anna out of town and Pam working for her mom, Lulu has no one to help her watch the precocious six-year-old. When Rosalie goes off on her own with Acorn and Alfie, it's the last straw.
But before they can punish Rosalie, Alfie goes missing in Lulu's house! Grandmother Sanders has one cardinal rule: NO ANIMALS IN THE HOUSE!!! Grandma Sandy threatens to call the exterminator if they don't find the lovable creature.
Pony Pals to the rescue! Anna comes home and Pam ditches her mom and the three of them team up in the kitchen to find Alfie. They concoct a crazy plan: they'll bring Snow White into the house to find Alfie! They're friends, after all. Snow White sniffs out the mischeivous hamster and all is well; Grandma Sandy doesn't even notice!
Rosalie feels she has to give up Alfie for his own safety; he might've died in that lonely kitchen!! The Pony Pals (and Mike!) make a new, fun-filled cage for Alfie so he won't be bored and Rosalie won't have to carry him around in her pocket.
Then, randomly, Lulu's Dad comes home!!! Where...? Whatever.
More notes:
What is it with women and barrettes? My mom was always wanting to put my hair in barrettes, and Grandma Sandy is just as bad.
Anna is in the city visiting her uncle. Which city, pray tell?
Awww, Alfie is a Teddy Bear Hamster. I had one of those!!
"'The school had a bunch of extra hamsters,' explained Mike. 'Mom is letting Rosalie keep him on a trial basis. If Alfie's any trouble, back he goes.'"
What?? Why would the school have extra hamsters? What do you need hamsters for??
Oooooh noooooo....
Now I know what makes the pepperoni taste so good!!!!
Mike tries to dump Rosalie on Lulu. Nice try.
Mimi's gone, too? Where is everybody??
Carrying Alfie around in your hands is safer than having him in a pocket where he could LEAP OUT.
"'Hi, Lulu,' said Mrs. Crandal. 'We're having a beginning rider clinic today and tomorrow. My assistant is sick, so Pam's helping.'
'Sorry. I can't ride for a couple of days,' Pam told Lulu.
Lulu didn't think Pam looked sorry. She looked happy."
I'd be happy, too. Especially if I was getting PAID. I'm assuming that's where Pam's smile is coming from.
Mr. Sanders wins an award for being the worst parent ever. Not only have we not heard from him for a while, Lulu won't be seeing him for 2 more months.
He sent her to Wiggins cuz he couldn't handle having a kid. I wonder if he did that to his wife before she died. That must've been inconvenient for him.
Lulu: Rosalie, this isn't the time to cry. You won't be able to see Alfie if you're crying.
Way to comfort the crying kid, Lulu. You're a natural.
Heh. They find Alfie in the grain box, his cheeks puffy with grain. My hamster used to do that...and then she'd try to climb up the tubes. Not those tubes. Sickos.
AAARGH. Grandma Sandy is afraid of hamsters because they're RODENTS.
My mom has the same problem with rats.
Even rats that are completely clean, nice, smart, and trained for the Rat Olympics she has a problem with.
Mr. Lacey's kind of a sucky parent, too. His kids never see him because he's too cheap to send them tickets to fly to Chicago.
Lulu and Rosalie talk about things they have in common.
Well, let's see.
1. Their dads suck.
2. They're legal guardians both have a stick up their butt.
3. They hate boys!!
Mike and Tommy went on a "fishing trip"....
Ugh, Lulu left Rosalie by herself and she disappears. Way to go, Lulu.
Rosalie told Lulu Mike was picking her up in an hour...but that was a LIE!
Tommy encourages Rosalie's rebellious behavior. He's a GREAT boyfriend, Mike!
Rather than tell Rosalie's mother, they keep it secret. Why would telling her cause her to lose Alfie, though? It's not as if ALFIE caused this mess.
Tommy: Rosalie can stay with the Pony Pests. Baby-sitting is girls' work.
Sexist pig.
Aw. A hamster sitting on a pony's back - that would be the cutest picture ever.
Rosalie shows up at Lulu's house.
Rosalie: Don't worry, I wrote Mike a note so he won't be mad. *hands Lulu the note*
Lulu: Why do you still have the note if it's for Mike?
Lol. Couldn't not laugh at that one.
"I'm sorry. I did bad things. I'm really and truly and very really sorry."
Whatever. It's the death penalty for you.
Alfie disappears...just as Grandma Sandy enters the kitchen.
Uh oh.
That's so mean!! You can't call an exterminator on someone's pet hamster!!
Rofl.
"Don't try to butter me up, Lucinda. You know I don't like animals."
Conveniently enough, the phone is dead, so Grandma can't call the exterminator!
"Well, I can't even phone an exterminator right now, can I? I can't even call the telephone company to say that the phone doesn't work."
Why would you do that?? If the phone doesn't work...never mind.
That's like e-mailing someone and then calling them on the phone and saying, "I sent you an e-mail."
True story.
They make spaghetti for dinner.
It's like all they eat is carbs, carbs, carbs. Brownies, spaghetti...when will it end????
Shouldn't it be easier to find a hamster when it's asleep? Because then it will only be in one place, not moving around all confusingly.
When Alfie appears, they don't want to grab him. Instead, they'll use pots and pans, which serve exactly the same purpose. Stupid.
OMG!! They don't find Alfie, but they find MICE IN THE CUPBOARD!!!!!!!!!! And this doesn't freak you out????? You might have an INFESTATION!!!
"Anna opened the freezer door. 'Hm-m,' she said thoughtfully. 'How about some chocolate ice cream? I always think better when I've had some ice cream.'
Liar. You just wanted ice cream.
Pam: I've never heard of a pony or a horse liking a hamster.
Now, do you mean "like" or "like like"?
Lulu's worried Snow White will crap on the carpet.
Which she almost does.
But Pam catches it in a bucket.
That's kind of disgusting.
Anna has to pretend she had a nightmare so Grandma Sandy won't go into the kitchen. "There was a monster. The monster had awful yellow eyes. And it was chasing me. It was going to kill me!!!!"
Grandma almost goes into the kitchen to get some warm milk. NOOOOOOO!
Alfie was sitting on Snow White's back the whole time??? Lame!!!
Alfie's on drugs. He starts walking upside down inside the strainer.
Skillz.
Uh oh. Grandma Sandy finds Snow White's hair on the kitchen floor!!!!
Anna: It's simple. Remember when we brushed out the ponies yesterday, Lulu? I bet hair from Snow White's mane was on your clothes. It fell off in the kitchen.
Liar, liar, pants on fire.
Rosalie feels guilty and wants to give away Alfie...because she almost KILLED Acorn.
Way to go, Pony Pals. That was a long time ago.
The Pony Pals talk about all the times they screwed up with animals. Anna killed her goldfish. Pam made Woolie run away. Lulu lost Rosalie...wait.
Whoa!!! In the picture, Mike looks way hot for a 12-14 year old boy.
Alfie gets bored because his cage is lamesauce. So they spruce it up for him.
Tommy's afraid of Alfie. Ha.
Sucky Dad comes home!!! Hurray for Mr. Sanders!!! :P
That's it. Madison Finn tomorrow, hopefully.
Unkept promises abound, or Pony Pals Super Special #4: The Fourth Pony Pal
So it's the FOURTH Super Special and it's about the FOURTH Pony Pal. Sorry. Not really funny.
Plot: Pam wants to take part in a jumping clinic in Virginia, so she and her Pony Pals go on a road trip!!! w00t!!!
When they get to the clinic, Mrs. Foster (the person in charge) is a total snob, and all the other girls are wankers. Shelly, Mrs. Foster's daughter, is just as mean as everyone else, but seems withdrawn and sad a lot of the time.
The meddling Pony Pals get to the bottom of it: Shelly misses her pony Midnight Ride, but is angry at her mother and best friend Brooke because they'd been advising her to dump Midnight Ride before he DIED of COLIC.
Ooooh, that burns.
The Pony Pals comfort Shelly, convince her to cry it out, and help her reconnect with her mother.
Then they go home.
More notes:
Lulu casually mentions homework. It seems like the Pony Pals NEVER GO TO SCHOOL.
Summer vacation again???
Wait...the clinic is in Virginia. Isn't that where Lulu's godsister or whatever Alicia lives?? And they're not going to go visit? I guess Alicia doesn't exist anymore.
They get a letter from Eleanor Morgan, the pro stadium jumper from #21. She writes like a 10-year-old.
Pam's dad is all, "Oh no, a week without Pam, what will I do?"
Shut up, Robert. You should be jumping for joy.
At least I think his name is Robert. Didn't he say his name was Robert that one time?
Anna feels like she's missing something important....
Underwear? No, not underwear.
Shoes? No, of course not.
Pads? Heck no, why would she need that?
Oh duh - ART SUPPLIES!
Grandmother Sanders gives them a beauty kit to take with them. Read: So you 3 won't look like slobs at the jumping clinic.
They live in Conneticutt (I know I spelled that wrong), right? It takes them 4 HOURS to get to Virginia. I don't think so. Mapquest says 9.
They act like people make a big deal about whether you have a horse or a pony. No, Pam, I don't think anyone cares.
Mrs. Foster is wonderfully polite ...until Pam's mom leaves.
Mrs. Foster: You shouldn't have disappeared like that. All your friends are upstairs.
Shelly: They're not my friends. They're your students.
Nice, a character with backbone!
Anna is such a freak!
"When we stay over at Pam's we sleep in the barn. We call ourselves the Pony Pals and love to trail ride."
And you wonder why you don't make friends easily....
Pam: Hi. I'm Pam Crandal. The tall one.
Um, the black one....
They have a palomino pony...named GOLDIE.
Proving that no one has any originality.
Heh. Mrs. Foster splits them up.
Pam is kind of stupid.
Shelly: Tell Brooke that my mother wants to speak with her.
Pam: *turns to Brooke* Shelly said-
Brooke: No duh, I'm not deaf.
Brooke and Shelly are fighting. Pam is sharing a room with them. Should be fun. XP
"Anna didn't mention the lucky upside-down heart marking on Lightning's forehead. She had a feeling Shelly wouldn't care."
I don't care either, Anna.
Sweet. Shelly is antisocial and feisty. We have a lot in common, Shelly!
Okay, I know these girls like horses, but there are OTHER horse books and movies that DON'T involve Black Beauty.
Everyone likes to talk about themselves, Pam. What's wrong with you?
Brooke is Regina from "Mean Girls".
Shelly seems upset. Pam wonders if Shelly lost a big competition.
Or maybe someone died, perhaps?
Bells say ding-dong, ding-dong. What kind of bell says dong-dong, dong-dong?
Shelly tells Brooke where to stuff it when Brooke mistakenly makes fun of the Pony Pals. Yeaaah!
Mrs. Foster: Quiet, you two. Watch carefully. You can learn a lot just by observing.
Anna: I can learn how to be bored.
Lol.
The Pony Pals want to know what Shelly's problem is and why she's so sad and angry.
I want to know why it's any of their business.
Anna and Snow White escape. In the process of looking for them, Pam sets off the burglar alarm. Hahaha, it wakes EVERYONE up.
I notice no one in this series ever has short hair or glasses. If they're a girl, anyway. For boys, that's true, too...except for the short hair part.
They start talking about ponies and Shelly runs away crying.
RED FLAG!
Her pony's name was Midnight Ride. -_- Guess what color he was?
"Shelly is a lot angry at her mother. We all wonder why."
Not only is that HORRIBLE grammar, but it should seem pretty obvious why Shelly hates her mom; the woman's a PSYCHO.
Anna has come a long way. Instead of instantly labeling people "snobs", she gives Shelly another chance.
Brooke: More Pony Pal secrets?
Lulu: Yes, and they're all about you, Brooke.
Pwned!!
To make friends with Shelly, they write her a letter????
But you guys are staying in the same house!!
Shelly doesn't want to play therapist with the Pony Pals, but she'd rather hang out with them than watch...*drumroll*..."Black Beauty"!
What is their obsession with this movie, as well as spaghetti, brownies, and grilled cheese sandwiches?
Shelly probably shouldn't watch a movie about a black horse. Might set her off again. Whatever.
"I was the only one who cried when Midnight Ride died."
Awwwwww....
Okay, lame. When Shelly tells them she has no interest in competing, Lulu and Anna understand.
But when Pam, in the beginning of the series, told them she HATED competing and had no interest in doing so, they EMOTIONALLY BLACKMAILED her into competing.
These guys SUCK.
Mrs. Foster has a horse named Royal Star.
What a prissy name.
Shelly writes a book about Midnight Ride and gives it to her mom.
Shelly got Midnight Ride when she was 6, and he died of colic when she was 10.
That really sucks.
Shelly: I don't want to live here anymore. I'm going to run away.
Anna: You can come to Wiggins with us if you want, but don't run away.
Whaaat? If you take her to Wiggins with you, you'll be HELPING her run away. SO CONFUSED.
Mrs. Foster promises to be less of a stiff.
Shelly: Is this what the Pony Pals do all the time?
Anna: Not ALL the time. But we trail ride a lot.
They also as participate in parades, man face-painting booths, catch hunters in the act, rescue hamsters, herd sheep, train ponies, find little girls and lost ponies, save ponies, tutor dyslexic girls, heal sick ponies, bargain with sellers, comfort dying ponies, tame wild ponies, join the circus, brave blizzards, give people makeovers, babysit, give blind ponies sight, manipulate and persuade, put out fires, adopt stray cats, take care of elderly ponies, help girls run away, build secret clubhouses, compete in horse shows, barrel race, watch bears, act in movies, find dogs, help birth foals, rescue abused animals, go back in time, communicate with animals, and help the environment.
Shelly's new friends Linda and Mary Ellen have ponies, too!
One is an Appaloosa named Smoothie, for his smooth gait (aaaaagh!).
Now they're all best friends and call themselves the Pony Pals, too.
Doesn't this happen in ALL Pony Pal books? They meet a new girl, make friends with her, convert her to their religion, and then send her home, where she creates her own three person Pony Cult. Creepy.
Only 3 Pony Pals books left: #37, #38, and Super Special #6.
Then it's all over.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Plot: Pam wants to take part in a jumping clinic in Virginia, so she and her Pony Pals go on a road trip!!! w00t!!!
When they get to the clinic, Mrs. Foster (the person in charge) is a total snob, and all the other girls are wankers. Shelly, Mrs. Foster's daughter, is just as mean as everyone else, but seems withdrawn and sad a lot of the time.
The meddling Pony Pals get to the bottom of it: Shelly misses her pony Midnight Ride, but is angry at her mother and best friend Brooke because they'd been advising her to dump Midnight Ride before he DIED of COLIC.
Ooooh, that burns.
The Pony Pals comfort Shelly, convince her to cry it out, and help her reconnect with her mother.
Then they go home.
More notes:
Lulu casually mentions homework. It seems like the Pony Pals NEVER GO TO SCHOOL.
Summer vacation again???
Wait...the clinic is in Virginia. Isn't that where Lulu's godsister or whatever Alicia lives?? And they're not going to go visit? I guess Alicia doesn't exist anymore.
They get a letter from Eleanor Morgan, the pro stadium jumper from #21. She writes like a 10-year-old.
Pam's dad is all, "Oh no, a week without Pam, what will I do?"
Shut up, Robert. You should be jumping for joy.
At least I think his name is Robert. Didn't he say his name was Robert that one time?
Anna feels like she's missing something important....
Underwear? No, not underwear.
Shoes? No, of course not.
Pads? Heck no, why would she need that?
Oh duh - ART SUPPLIES!
Grandmother Sanders gives them a beauty kit to take with them. Read: So you 3 won't look like slobs at the jumping clinic.
They live in Conneticutt (I know I spelled that wrong), right? It takes them 4 HOURS to get to Virginia. I don't think so. Mapquest says 9.
They act like people make a big deal about whether you have a horse or a pony. No, Pam, I don't think anyone cares.
Mrs. Foster is wonderfully polite ...until Pam's mom leaves.
Mrs. Foster: You shouldn't have disappeared like that. All your friends are upstairs.
Shelly: They're not my friends. They're your students.
Nice, a character with backbone!
Anna is such a freak!
"When we stay over at Pam's we sleep in the barn. We call ourselves the Pony Pals and love to trail ride."
And you wonder why you don't make friends easily....
Pam: Hi. I'm Pam Crandal. The tall one.
Um, the black one....
They have a palomino pony...named GOLDIE.
Proving that no one has any originality.
Heh. Mrs. Foster splits them up.
Pam is kind of stupid.
Shelly: Tell Brooke that my mother wants to speak with her.
Pam: *turns to Brooke* Shelly said-
Brooke: No duh, I'm not deaf.
Brooke and Shelly are fighting. Pam is sharing a room with them. Should be fun. XP
"Anna didn't mention the lucky upside-down heart marking on Lightning's forehead. She had a feeling Shelly wouldn't care."
I don't care either, Anna.
Sweet. Shelly is antisocial and feisty. We have a lot in common, Shelly!
Okay, I know these girls like horses, but there are OTHER horse books and movies that DON'T involve Black Beauty.
Everyone likes to talk about themselves, Pam. What's wrong with you?
Brooke is Regina from "Mean Girls".
Shelly seems upset. Pam wonders if Shelly lost a big competition.
Or maybe someone died, perhaps?
Bells say ding-dong, ding-dong. What kind of bell says dong-dong, dong-dong?
Shelly tells Brooke where to stuff it when Brooke mistakenly makes fun of the Pony Pals. Yeaaah!
Mrs. Foster: Quiet, you two. Watch carefully. You can learn a lot just by observing.
Anna: I can learn how to be bored.
Lol.
The Pony Pals want to know what Shelly's problem is and why she's so sad and angry.
I want to know why it's any of their business.
Anna and Snow White escape. In the process of looking for them, Pam sets off the burglar alarm. Hahaha, it wakes EVERYONE up.
I notice no one in this series ever has short hair or glasses. If they're a girl, anyway. For boys, that's true, too...except for the short hair part.
They start talking about ponies and Shelly runs away crying.
RED FLAG!
Her pony's name was Midnight Ride. -_- Guess what color he was?
"Shelly is a lot angry at her mother. We all wonder why."
Not only is that HORRIBLE grammar, but it should seem pretty obvious why Shelly hates her mom; the woman's a PSYCHO.
Anna has come a long way. Instead of instantly labeling people "snobs", she gives Shelly another chance.
Brooke: More Pony Pal secrets?
Lulu: Yes, and they're all about you, Brooke.
Pwned!!
To make friends with Shelly, they write her a letter????
But you guys are staying in the same house!!
Shelly doesn't want to play therapist with the Pony Pals, but she'd rather hang out with them than watch...*drumroll*..."Black Beauty"!
What is their obsession with this movie, as well as spaghetti, brownies, and grilled cheese sandwiches?
Shelly probably shouldn't watch a movie about a black horse. Might set her off again. Whatever.
"I was the only one who cried when Midnight Ride died."
Awwwwww....
Okay, lame. When Shelly tells them she has no interest in competing, Lulu and Anna understand.
But when Pam, in the beginning of the series, told them she HATED competing and had no interest in doing so, they EMOTIONALLY BLACKMAILED her into competing.
These guys SUCK.
Mrs. Foster has a horse named Royal Star.
What a prissy name.
Shelly writes a book about Midnight Ride and gives it to her mom.
Shelly got Midnight Ride when she was 6, and he died of colic when she was 10.
That really sucks.
Shelly: I don't want to live here anymore. I'm going to run away.
Anna: You can come to Wiggins with us if you want, but don't run away.
Whaaat? If you take her to Wiggins with you, you'll be HELPING her run away. SO CONFUSED.
Mrs. Foster promises to be less of a stiff.
Shelly: Is this what the Pony Pals do all the time?
Anna: Not ALL the time. But we trail ride a lot.
They also as participate in parades, man face-painting booths, catch hunters in the act, rescue hamsters, herd sheep, train ponies, find little girls and lost ponies, save ponies, tutor dyslexic girls, heal sick ponies, bargain with sellers, comfort dying ponies, tame wild ponies, join the circus, brave blizzards, give people makeovers, babysit, give blind ponies sight, manipulate and persuade, put out fires, adopt stray cats, take care of elderly ponies, help girls run away, build secret clubhouses, compete in horse shows, barrel race, watch bears, act in movies, find dogs, help birth foals, rescue abused animals, go back in time, communicate with animals, and help the environment.
Shelly's new friends Linda and Mary Ellen have ponies, too!
One is an Appaloosa named Smoothie, for his smooth gait (aaaaagh!).
Now they're all best friends and call themselves the Pony Pals, too.
Doesn't this happen in ALL Pony Pal books? They meet a new girl, make friends with her, convert her to their religion, and then send her home, where she creates her own three person Pony Cult. Creepy.
Only 3 Pony Pals books left: #37, #38, and Super Special #6.
Then it's all over.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
I avoid conflict, or Pony Pals Super Special #5: Pony Problem
I still don't get why Super Specials are so much specialer than the other books. The author runs out of plot after about 70 pages, and this book is 115 pages long.
Plot: Anna wakes up one morning to find Acorn missing - and Snow White hurt! It appears the ponies had a fight, resulting in Acorn's disappearance. They find him at Pam's house, but after that, the two ponies cannot seem to get along! Neither can their owners, for that matter; they both blame each other.
Pam, as you know, can "communicate" with animals, and uses this unique ability to find out what went wrong between the two pony friends. It turns out Acorn is a bit jealous of his friend Snow White, who is receiving lots of attention due to her new barrel racing tricks. Acorn feels a bit left out.
In turn, Snow White is too tired to play with her pony friend and wonders why he is being so "mean" to her.
Pam reveals this to her Pony Pals. They make up and spend the rest of the book planning for the Winter Fest, which goes amazingly well, and everyone is happy.
More notes:
Lulu writes a crappy poem:
Snow White in the moonlight
On a snowy night.
Everything is all right.
Anna thinks Acorn was stolen. After all, he starred in an ABC Family movie, and was in the circus once. Oh, and he played The Magic Pony in that play at the library.
She and Lulu go out looking for Acorn at 7:00 AM without telling their parents! How is it that they NEVER get in trouble??? I can't believe their parents are FINE with this.
Now they're sure someone stole Acorn because there are TRACKS in the PADDOCK! Hello, you guys go into the paddock ALL THE TIME.
Tommy's middle name should be "Trouble". How clever. :P
No duh, it was Anna's footprint.
There's a scene with Pam in the barn with Fat Cat. Fat Cat is depressed because someone put toilet paper in her bed, so now she can't sleep. I swear, if that's not foreshadowing, I don't know what is.
Lulu: Snow White has blood on her neck. Come, look.
Anna: She must have cut herself.
Snow White!!! Didn't I tell you to stay away from those razorblades!!!???
"She was a sweet gray Welsh two-year-old."
If you're talking about a pony (which they are), you wouldn't say it like that. It would be more like, "She was a sweet two-year-old gray Welsh pony," or something.
Agh, it's a misunderstanding. Lulu and Anna are convinced the other is mad at them. Spare me.
"Anna frowned. She hated it when Pam wasn't on her side."
And Pam sort of owes her, too, after the whole abused Cloud thing.
Ugh, Lulu's getting annoying. You know how she gets when she's worried about Snow White, right? THAT'S WHAT SHE'S DOING! "Oh no, it's been 5 minutes! I have to go check on Snow White!"
Anna: How do you know what she's thinking? She's probably thinking, "I wish I had bit Acorn harder."
LOL!!
Anna just feels like being mean. I hear you.
Pam thinks Charlie is bossy.
*cough cough* HYPOCRITE! *cough cough*
Whoa what happened to Charlie and Anna? I thought they were a couple!! I guess not. Charlie's obsessed with Lulu now, and totally ignores Anna when she shows him her drawings.
Wth?? What the heck is skijoring??
"Pam hated it when Charlie acted like he knew more about ponies than she did."
This is payback for all the times you made someone feel stupid because you had to know everything about ponies, Pam.
Omg, that's so awful! "Acorn is happy because Snow WHite isn't here, thought Anna. Snow White might have to move to Pam's. That's okay. The Crandals have plenty of room for another pony."
Whoa. Anna is way evil sometimes.
They're eating spaghetti.
For dinner.
AGAIN.
"What are you doing to Snow White?"
That sounds dirty....
Lulu is a way annoying.
Acorn is jealous. Why isn't Charlie paying attention to him? Why is Snow White learning new tricks? Why won't Snow White play with him?
Acorn needs therapy.
WHOA!
"'You'd be a good snowboarder, Pony Pest,' said Tommy. 'You got good balance."
Pam writes about a time when her mom's horse JB started eating wood, and he told her that he missed his goat friend Queenie.
Queenie? Wasn't that the name of the sheep in #12?
Whoa. Acorn's side of the story is my life.
Remind Acorn that he is special and everything will be all right.
Mwahaha. Anna thinks Snow White should move out. Because it's her backyard, and Snow White doesn't belong there.
Pam: I think Acorn and Snow White are still fighting because you are still fighting. Animals pick up on how people feel.
Lulu: But we're fighting because our ponies are fighting.
Pam: It's a vicious circle.
Lol. A vicious circle. It's a vicious "cycle", Pam.
The exterminator joke is getting old, Tommy.
Charlie sits next to Lulu...and Mike sits next to Anna. :O He's bisexual?
Ha ha, Pam has no one.
Charlie: What's wrong with those guys? Sometimes they're okay and sometimes they're sort of dumb.
Tee hee. Just like the Pony Pals!!
Charlie is starting to sound less like a cowboy and more like a Brit.
"I have an idea! It's positively brilliant!!"
Ha. Lulu got suckered into barrel racing.
Aagh.
Mr. Olson: Mr. Charlie can make you his special Mexican burritos.
What other kind of burritos would they be eating? French burritos?
Charlie: They're muy delicioso.
Someone's been watching Dora the Explorer recently!
The Pony Pals make a pony scrapbook.
"Mr. Olson came in to get a drink. The stories were so interesting he stayed to listen."
Oh, I highly doubt that.
All of these stories are basically about how amazing Snow White is. "I used to have no friends. Then I met Snow White." "We had a costume parade. Snow White went first because she's so beautiful." "I fell in a hole, but got out all right, because I'm snow White!"
I think one of the stories is from Super Special #4...WHICH I HAVEN'T READ YET!
I don't remember this lamb business. They say they rescued a baby lamb. When was this?
Pwned. They attack Charlie and snowball him. Literally. Lol.
Oh no! If Winter Fest is cancelled, what will Anna's mother do with all the brownies she baked?
Give them to the fatty Pony Pals, of course!
Apparently Tommy is a pro snowboarder.
Anna: At least he can do something right.
Noyce.
BFFs!! I swear, this is like the Bratz movie.
Plot: Anna wakes up one morning to find Acorn missing - and Snow White hurt! It appears the ponies had a fight, resulting in Acorn's disappearance. They find him at Pam's house, but after that, the two ponies cannot seem to get along! Neither can their owners, for that matter; they both blame each other.
Pam, as you know, can "communicate" with animals, and uses this unique ability to find out what went wrong between the two pony friends. It turns out Acorn is a bit jealous of his friend Snow White, who is receiving lots of attention due to her new barrel racing tricks. Acorn feels a bit left out.
In turn, Snow White is too tired to play with her pony friend and wonders why he is being so "mean" to her.
Pam reveals this to her Pony Pals. They make up and spend the rest of the book planning for the Winter Fest, which goes amazingly well, and everyone is happy.
More notes:
Lulu writes a crappy poem:
Snow White in the moonlight
On a snowy night.
Everything is all right.
Anna thinks Acorn was stolen. After all, he starred in an ABC Family movie, and was in the circus once. Oh, and he played The Magic Pony in that play at the library.
She and Lulu go out looking for Acorn at 7:00 AM without telling their parents! How is it that they NEVER get in trouble??? I can't believe their parents are FINE with this.
Now they're sure someone stole Acorn because there are TRACKS in the PADDOCK! Hello, you guys go into the paddock ALL THE TIME.
Tommy's middle name should be "Trouble". How clever. :P
No duh, it was Anna's footprint.
There's a scene with Pam in the barn with Fat Cat. Fat Cat is depressed because someone put toilet paper in her bed, so now she can't sleep. I swear, if that's not foreshadowing, I don't know what is.
Lulu: Snow White has blood on her neck. Come, look.
Anna: She must have cut herself.
Snow White!!! Didn't I tell you to stay away from those razorblades!!!???
"She was a sweet gray Welsh two-year-old."
If you're talking about a pony (which they are), you wouldn't say it like that. It would be more like, "She was a sweet two-year-old gray Welsh pony," or something.
Agh, it's a misunderstanding. Lulu and Anna are convinced the other is mad at them. Spare me.
"Anna frowned. She hated it when Pam wasn't on her side."
And Pam sort of owes her, too, after the whole abused Cloud thing.
Ugh, Lulu's getting annoying. You know how she gets when she's worried about Snow White, right? THAT'S WHAT SHE'S DOING! "Oh no, it's been 5 minutes! I have to go check on Snow White!"
Anna: How do you know what she's thinking? She's probably thinking, "I wish I had bit Acorn harder."
LOL!!
Anna just feels like being mean. I hear you.
Pam thinks Charlie is bossy.
*cough cough* HYPOCRITE! *cough cough*
Whoa what happened to Charlie and Anna? I thought they were a couple!! I guess not. Charlie's obsessed with Lulu now, and totally ignores Anna when she shows him her drawings.
Wth?? What the heck is skijoring??
"Pam hated it when Charlie acted like he knew more about ponies than she did."
This is payback for all the times you made someone feel stupid because you had to know everything about ponies, Pam.
Omg, that's so awful! "Acorn is happy because Snow WHite isn't here, thought Anna. Snow White might have to move to Pam's. That's okay. The Crandals have plenty of room for another pony."
Whoa. Anna is way evil sometimes.
They're eating spaghetti.
For dinner.
AGAIN.
"What are you doing to Snow White?"
That sounds dirty....
Lulu is a way annoying.
Acorn is jealous. Why isn't Charlie paying attention to him? Why is Snow White learning new tricks? Why won't Snow White play with him?
Acorn needs therapy.
WHOA!
"'You'd be a good snowboarder, Pony Pest,' said Tommy. 'You got good balance."
Pam writes about a time when her mom's horse JB started eating wood, and he told her that he missed his goat friend Queenie.
Queenie? Wasn't that the name of the sheep in #12?
Whoa. Acorn's side of the story is my life.
Remind Acorn that he is special and everything will be all right.
Mwahaha. Anna thinks Snow White should move out. Because it's her backyard, and Snow White doesn't belong there.
Pam: I think Acorn and Snow White are still fighting because you are still fighting. Animals pick up on how people feel.
Lulu: But we're fighting because our ponies are fighting.
Pam: It's a vicious circle.
Lol. A vicious circle. It's a vicious "cycle", Pam.
The exterminator joke is getting old, Tommy.
Charlie sits next to Lulu...and Mike sits next to Anna. :O He's bisexual?
Ha ha, Pam has no one.
Charlie: What's wrong with those guys? Sometimes they're okay and sometimes they're sort of dumb.
Tee hee. Just like the Pony Pals!!
Charlie is starting to sound less like a cowboy and more like a Brit.
"I have an idea! It's positively brilliant!!"
Ha. Lulu got suckered into barrel racing.
Aagh.
Mr. Olson: Mr. Charlie can make you his special Mexican burritos.
What other kind of burritos would they be eating? French burritos?
Charlie: They're muy delicioso.
Someone's been watching Dora the Explorer recently!
The Pony Pals make a pony scrapbook.
"Mr. Olson came in to get a drink. The stories were so interesting he stayed to listen."
Oh, I highly doubt that.
All of these stories are basically about how amazing Snow White is. "I used to have no friends. Then I met Snow White." "We had a costume parade. Snow White went first because she's so beautiful." "I fell in a hole, but got out all right, because I'm snow White!"
I think one of the stories is from Super Special #4...WHICH I HAVEN'T READ YET!
I don't remember this lamb business. They say they rescued a baby lamb. When was this?
Pwned. They attack Charlie and snowball him. Literally. Lol.
Oh no! If Winter Fest is cancelled, what will Anna's mother do with all the brownies she baked?
Give them to the fatty Pony Pals, of course!
Apparently Tommy is a pro snowboarder.
Anna: At least he can do something right.
Noyce.
BFFs!! I swear, this is like the Bratz movie.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Lonely, I'm so lonely, I have nobody for my own, or Pony Pals #25: The Lonely Pony
So much for this one. How long has it been since I put this on hold? Seriously, it was the most boring Pony Pals ever. I think it was because of Lulu; her books are always really lamesauce.
Plot: Lulu wakes up in the morning and finds not two, but THREE ponies in her paddock. Who is the mysterious third? Tongo, Mimi Kline's pony. It appears he ran away during the night because he's lonely. Anna takes Tongo back to Mimi's house and has Acorn stay with Tongo to make sure Tongo doesn't run away again.
Lulu is angry. Snow White has a respiratory infection and misses Acorn, but Anna doesn't seem to care at all! If only Pam were there to mediate, but she's at a jumping clinic for two days.
Pam comes back and doesn't do a very good job mediating. Anna and Lulu fight; Lulu thinks Anna is selfish and should bring Acorn back so Snow White won't be lonely. Anna thinks it's more important to take care of Tongo first so HE DOESN'T RUN AWAY AGAIN AND POSSIBLY GET HIT BY A CAR.
Time for three ideas. Pam suggests they make the fence bigger. Anna suggests they find Tongo a stablemate. Lulu has the same idea (probably written down hastily after hearing Anna's idea, no doubt), and the three go to St. Francis' Animal Shelter to pick out a nice pet.
They narrow it down to three: Max, a shy Basset Hound; Dottie, a cute pot-bellied pig; and Billy, an adorable pygmy goat.
Unfortunately, they decided to inform Mr. and Mrs. Kline of their new pet AFTER they brought it to their house.
Mimi, of course, ruins the entire situation with her bad timing. Mr. and Mrs. Kline don't like the idea of a new pet. The Pony Pals quickly decide on Billy the goat and leave him in the paddock with Tongo to see how they get along.
Not too well, it turns out. Lulu is sure that's because everyone is watching them and Billy is intimidated by them and his new surroundings. The Pony Pals decide to leave Tongo and his friend alone for a while and go on a nice, relaxing trail ride.
Wow. What a super ambiguous ending.
More notes:
"Lulu recognized the extra pony right away. It was Mimi Kline's small Shetland pony, Tongo. How did Tongo get there? Lulu wondered."
I'm assuming he walked.
"Acorn and Tongo happily sniffed noses over the fence. Snow White stood alone in the middle of the paddock. Snow White doesn't like having surprise visitors, thought Lulu."
Really, does Snow White like anybody?
Look at crap. Horrible:
Anna exchanged a smile. Mimi was cute and spoiled. Just like Tongo. And both were lots of fun.
Heh. I'd like to unleash Mrs. Sims on Jeanne Betancourt.
Anna: I think Snow White's jealous. She doesn't want to share Acorn.
Lulu: Snow White is not jealous. Tongo probably did something to her that we didn't see.
Whatever. She's jealous.
"Life in Wiggins is boring without my Pony Pals."
You're just now realizing that?
Lulu is so bored that she lets her grandmother cut her hair!!! :O
NO WAY, Grandmother Sanders gives her bangs! Lulu's hair looks pretty adorable, actually.
But not as good as mine, right? Lol.
Ugh, Lulu is so whiny.
Lulu: Is Acorn staying here tonight?
Anna: Yeah.
Lulu: But Acorn and Snow White are stablemates.
Anna: Mrs. Bell is afraid Tongo will run away again. I said I'd stay over, too.
Lulu: The Klines have to figure out how to keep Tongo in his own yard.
Anna: And we have to help them.
It's not actually their job to help people, but God forbid Lulu should do something nice for someone. "Nooo, I'd rather Tongo got hit by a car, because Snow White is SOOOO LONELY."
She has nobody for her own.
Oh no, Snow White is sick...again.
Dr. Crandal: Now let's see if she has a cough.
Dr Crandal squeezed Snow White's windpipe, and she coughed.
Uh, yeah, I'd cough, too, if someone squeezed my windpipe.
Ew, sulfur pills? Who'd want to take something that smelled like rotten eggs and came out of a volcano?
Anna makes a big mistake.
Lulu: So Acorn can't come home while Snow White is sick.
Anna: Good. It will give us time to solve the Tongo problem. We have to figure out how to keep him in his own yard.
Lulu: How can you say it's a good thing that Snow White is sick?
Anna: I didn't say it's good that Snow White's sick! I said it's good that Acorn is with Tongo. So Tongo won't run away again. We have time to solve the Tongo problem.
Lulu: The Klines should just get another pony. Then Tongo can have his own stablemate.
Hello? Ponies are uber-expensive, and Mimi has to ride Tongo IN THE DRIVEWAY!!! Something tells me the Klines don't have room for another pony.
Not to mention they run a HARDWARE STORE. Not a lot of money in that.
Haha. Anna makes another mistake.
Anna: Hi, everybody. How's Snow White? She looks better. Is he cured?
Lulu: She. Snow White is a she, you called her he.
Anna: Sorry. I just made a mistake.
You bet you did. Lol. Pony Pal fights.
Ugh, Lulu is so annoying.
"'That won't work,' Anna explained. 'Snow White doesn't like Tongo. She gets jealous.'
'Snow White is not jealous,' Lulu practically shouted at Anna.
Lulu glared at Anna. Didn't Anna understand anything about ponies? Didn't she love Snow White anymore?"
Whatever. Animals feel secondary emotions, one of those being jealousy. Snow White is SO JEALOUS.
You know how Anna always draws her ideas? Her idea this time is...a dog, a duck, and a goat. Please explain, Anna.
Remember Chicago? The cat Rosalie was obsessed with? CHICAGO LIVES!!
Anna: Tongo acts bratty sometimes. I bet Tongo did something to make Snow White angry. You know, the night he came to our paddock.
Like what? He called her a bad name? He hurt her feelings, did he?
Ew, the picture of Mr. Kline makes him look like the creepy old smoker dad from "Pretty in Pink".
"Pam hit Lulu on the head with another pillow. And Anna grabbed Lulu by both wrists while Pam tickled her. The Pony Pals had a pillow-tickle fight until they were all exhausted."
:O Wow...I have absolutely nothing to say to that.
Awww, pigs and ducks.
Oh, how droll, a duck named Crackers the Quacker! Excuse me if I don't bust my gut laughing.
Awwww, there's a REALLY CUTE picture of Pam holding some adorable puppies.
Who doesn't love pygmy goats?
Lulu wants Billy. Anna likes Dottie. Pam, who loves dogs, has bonded with Max. Guess who wins?
Lulu: Does Mrs. Kline know that Tongo is picking out a stablemate?
Anna: Not yet.
There's a 50% chance the Klines will say no, AND THEY DON'T ASK THEM FIRST??? Morons.
Tongo is attacked by a duck.
Anna tries to get Mimi to keep her mouth shut, so as not to ruin their idea with bad timing.
"Mommy! Mommy! I want Billy. I have to have him. Tongo wants him, too."
Way to go, Mimi.
Mrs. Kline is way POed. And the picture makes her look like a black man.
To calm her down, the Pony Pals bring her some cookies and lemonade.
Billy runs away, so Lulu and Pam decide to carry him to the paddock.
Mrs. Raskins: I was just going to suggest that.
Sure. Whatever.
Mrs. Kline gives Billy 5 seconds... "Hm, looks like it's not going to work. Take him back."
Billy is SO CUTE!!
The ending is so ambiguous!
Tongo and Billy: *are sort of beginning to get along*
Pam: Let's leave them alone for awhile.
Lulu: Good iea. And let's go on a trail ride. Just the Pony Pals.
Anna: Perfect.
So they ride off into the sunset...and we don't know if Billy stays or if he goes. That's a song.
So that's it. That's what I spent $4 on.
I really hate Lulu. In the very last Pony Pals book, Lulu should die a fiery death.
Lol, Jeanne Betancourt manages to squeeze like 5 Super Specials in between the last 4 books.
I have some Avalons that I still need to read. I don't know, I kind of hate that series now. Thankfully, there are only two more and then there aren't any more because Rachel Roberts decided not to write any.
I also have 8 more Madison Finn books. Sweet, right? I won't order anymore for now.
Yay, I also read "Heart to Heart" this morning, so I'll post that ASAP.
Plot: Lulu wakes up in the morning and finds not two, but THREE ponies in her paddock. Who is the mysterious third? Tongo, Mimi Kline's pony. It appears he ran away during the night because he's lonely. Anna takes Tongo back to Mimi's house and has Acorn stay with Tongo to make sure Tongo doesn't run away again.
Lulu is angry. Snow White has a respiratory infection and misses Acorn, but Anna doesn't seem to care at all! If only Pam were there to mediate, but she's at a jumping clinic for two days.
Pam comes back and doesn't do a very good job mediating. Anna and Lulu fight; Lulu thinks Anna is selfish and should bring Acorn back so Snow White won't be lonely. Anna thinks it's more important to take care of Tongo first so HE DOESN'T RUN AWAY AGAIN AND POSSIBLY GET HIT BY A CAR.
Time for three ideas. Pam suggests they make the fence bigger. Anna suggests they find Tongo a stablemate. Lulu has the same idea (probably written down hastily after hearing Anna's idea, no doubt), and the three go to St. Francis' Animal Shelter to pick out a nice pet.
They narrow it down to three: Max, a shy Basset Hound; Dottie, a cute pot-bellied pig; and Billy, an adorable pygmy goat.
Unfortunately, they decided to inform Mr. and Mrs. Kline of their new pet AFTER they brought it to their house.
Mimi, of course, ruins the entire situation with her bad timing. Mr. and Mrs. Kline don't like the idea of a new pet. The Pony Pals quickly decide on Billy the goat and leave him in the paddock with Tongo to see how they get along.
Not too well, it turns out. Lulu is sure that's because everyone is watching them and Billy is intimidated by them and his new surroundings. The Pony Pals decide to leave Tongo and his friend alone for a while and go on a nice, relaxing trail ride.
Wow. What a super ambiguous ending.
More notes:
"Lulu recognized the extra pony right away. It was Mimi Kline's small Shetland pony, Tongo. How did Tongo get there? Lulu wondered."
I'm assuming he walked.
"Acorn and Tongo happily sniffed noses over the fence. Snow White stood alone in the middle of the paddock. Snow White doesn't like having surprise visitors, thought Lulu."
Really, does Snow White like anybody?
Look at crap. Horrible:
Anna exchanged a smile. Mimi was cute and spoiled. Just like Tongo. And both were lots of fun.
Heh. I'd like to unleash Mrs. Sims on Jeanne Betancourt.
Anna: I think Snow White's jealous. She doesn't want to share Acorn.
Lulu: Snow White is not jealous. Tongo probably did something to her that we didn't see.
Whatever. She's jealous.
"Life in Wiggins is boring without my Pony Pals."
You're just now realizing that?
Lulu is so bored that she lets her grandmother cut her hair!!! :O
NO WAY, Grandmother Sanders gives her bangs! Lulu's hair looks pretty adorable, actually.
But not as good as mine, right? Lol.
Ugh, Lulu is so whiny.
Lulu: Is Acorn staying here tonight?
Anna: Yeah.
Lulu: But Acorn and Snow White are stablemates.
Anna: Mrs. Bell is afraid Tongo will run away again. I said I'd stay over, too.
Lulu: The Klines have to figure out how to keep Tongo in his own yard.
Anna: And we have to help them.
It's not actually their job to help people, but God forbid Lulu should do something nice for someone. "Nooo, I'd rather Tongo got hit by a car, because Snow White is SOOOO LONELY."
She has nobody for her own.
Oh no, Snow White is sick...again.
Dr. Crandal: Now let's see if she has a cough.
Dr Crandal squeezed Snow White's windpipe, and she coughed.
Uh, yeah, I'd cough, too, if someone squeezed my windpipe.
Ew, sulfur pills? Who'd want to take something that smelled like rotten eggs and came out of a volcano?
Anna makes a big mistake.
Lulu: So Acorn can't come home while Snow White is sick.
Anna: Good. It will give us time to solve the Tongo problem. We have to figure out how to keep him in his own yard.
Lulu: How can you say it's a good thing that Snow White is sick?
Anna: I didn't say it's good that Snow White's sick! I said it's good that Acorn is with Tongo. So Tongo won't run away again. We have time to solve the Tongo problem.
Lulu: The Klines should just get another pony. Then Tongo can have his own stablemate.
Hello? Ponies are uber-expensive, and Mimi has to ride Tongo IN THE DRIVEWAY!!! Something tells me the Klines don't have room for another pony.
Not to mention they run a HARDWARE STORE. Not a lot of money in that.
Haha. Anna makes another mistake.
Anna: Hi, everybody. How's Snow White? She looks better. Is he cured?
Lulu: She. Snow White is a she, you called her he.
Anna: Sorry. I just made a mistake.
You bet you did. Lol. Pony Pal fights.
Ugh, Lulu is so annoying.
"'That won't work,' Anna explained. 'Snow White doesn't like Tongo. She gets jealous.'
'Snow White is not jealous,' Lulu practically shouted at Anna.
Lulu glared at Anna. Didn't Anna understand anything about ponies? Didn't she love Snow White anymore?"
Whatever. Animals feel secondary emotions, one of those being jealousy. Snow White is SO JEALOUS.
You know how Anna always draws her ideas? Her idea this time is...a dog, a duck, and a goat. Please explain, Anna.
Remember Chicago? The cat Rosalie was obsessed with? CHICAGO LIVES!!
Anna: Tongo acts bratty sometimes. I bet Tongo did something to make Snow White angry. You know, the night he came to our paddock.
Like what? He called her a bad name? He hurt her feelings, did he?
Ew, the picture of Mr. Kline makes him look like the creepy old smoker dad from "Pretty in Pink".
"Pam hit Lulu on the head with another pillow. And Anna grabbed Lulu by both wrists while Pam tickled her. The Pony Pals had a pillow-tickle fight until they were all exhausted."
:O Wow...I have absolutely nothing to say to that.
Awww, pigs and ducks.
Oh, how droll, a duck named Crackers the Quacker! Excuse me if I don't bust my gut laughing.
Awwww, there's a REALLY CUTE picture of Pam holding some adorable puppies.
Who doesn't love pygmy goats?
Lulu wants Billy. Anna likes Dottie. Pam, who loves dogs, has bonded with Max. Guess who wins?
Lulu: Does Mrs. Kline know that Tongo is picking out a stablemate?
Anna: Not yet.
There's a 50% chance the Klines will say no, AND THEY DON'T ASK THEM FIRST??? Morons.
Tongo is attacked by a duck.
Anna tries to get Mimi to keep her mouth shut, so as not to ruin their idea with bad timing.
"Mommy! Mommy! I want Billy. I have to have him. Tongo wants him, too."
Way to go, Mimi.
Mrs. Kline is way POed. And the picture makes her look like a black man.
To calm her down, the Pony Pals bring her some cookies and lemonade.
Billy runs away, so Lulu and Pam decide to carry him to the paddock.
Mrs. Raskins: I was just going to suggest that.
Sure. Whatever.
Mrs. Kline gives Billy 5 seconds... "Hm, looks like it's not going to work. Take him back."
Billy is SO CUTE!!
The ending is so ambiguous!
Tongo and Billy: *are sort of beginning to get along*
Pam: Let's leave them alone for awhile.
Lulu: Good iea. And let's go on a trail ride. Just the Pony Pals.
Anna: Perfect.
So they ride off into the sunset...and we don't know if Billy stays or if he goes. That's a song.
So that's it. That's what I spent $4 on.
I really hate Lulu. In the very last Pony Pals book, Lulu should die a fiery death.
Lol, Jeanne Betancourt manages to squeeze like 5 Super Specials in between the last 4 books.
I have some Avalons that I still need to read. I don't know, I kind of hate that series now. Thankfully, there are only two more and then there aren't any more because Rachel Roberts decided not to write any.
I also have 8 more Madison Finn books. Sweet, right? I won't order anymore for now.
Yay, I also read "Heart to Heart" this morning, so I'll post that ASAP.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
It's the circle of life, or Pony Pals #34: The Pony and the Lost Swan
Pony Pals, Pony Pals, oh how I missed you. It's been nothing but unicorns, magic, and teenagers for a long time. I've been missing you guys, as well as Maddie Finn.
Plot: Lulu and Snow White are riding with their friends by Lake Appamapog when they find swan feathers. Lulu is obsessed with swans, so they look around to see if they can find any, and lo and behold, there they are, out on the lake! The Pony Pals name the swan and her three cygnets stupid things and admire the beautiful scene for a million years.
Then Mr. Kline comes by in his truck and tells them about the swan's mate, which was shot with a bow and arrow last week. He also instructs them to warn people not to leave their fishing line lying around, as it could kill the swans.
The Pony Pals go out and bother Tommy, because he likes to fish.
The next day, the Pony Pals go to visit the swans again...and find Friendly and Bottom Up, two of the cygnets, all by themselves!! Where are White Feathers and Slowpoke? White Feathers would never leave her babies by themselves!
They put the two babies in a box and take them to the animal shelter.
Later, they find White Feathers tangled up in fishing line. Curse you, Tommy Rand. They send her to the animal ER, too.
White Feathers is reunited with her babies and slowly recovers, but they still can't find Slowpoke! Hm, maybe she died. But the Pony Pals are convinced the cygnet is still alive.
She is. Back to her mother she goes.
After White Feathers recovers, they take the swans back to the lake and put up a sign warning people not to leave their fishing line lying around. Everyone gathers to watch the swans frolic in the water. Joyous days.
More notes:
The copy the library gave me was a hardcover. Seriously, a hardcover Pony Pals! Ghettofabulous.
I hate that bad behavior is written off as "curiosity".
How descriptive Pam. "Swans are really beautiful and big."
"The babies are adorable, but they're brown, not white." Kind of like 101 Dalmations. "WHERE ARE THE SPOTS?"
Uh oh, these swans don't have a father. Irresponsible swan fathers, never pay child support.
Lulu: *looking at the mother swan* White Feathers. She's White Feathers.
Pam: How do you know her name?
Lulu: It just popped into my head.
Anna: It's a perfect name for her.
Hm, maybe because she has WHITE FEATHERS.
Ugh. Lulu sang to some swans in England and they started dancing. Like a ballet. Ha. Swan Lake. Okaaay, enough of that.
They sing, "Make New Friends, but Keep the Old." THAT'S A GIRL SCOUTS SONG!
They name the babies Friendly, Slowpoke, and Bottom Up (because she resembles a shot glass).
ROFL. I love how blunt Mr. Kline is.
Anna: I wonder where he is now.
Mr. Kline: The male was killed last week.
Pam: That's so awful.
Lulu: How was he killed?
Mr. Kline: He was shot with a bow and arrow. His mate was very upset.
They should try to solve the mystery of this swan's murder. Like on "Monk".
OMG!!!
Mr. Kline: There were four cygnets the last time I was here. I guess one of them didn't make it.
Lulu: Was the cygnet shot with a bow and arrow, too?
Mr. Kline: I don't think so. I bet a snapping turtle got it. They go after cygnets and goslings. Or a hawk could have swooped down and taken it.
I love how he's casually chatting about death with 10-year-old girls!! This is hilarious!
Tommy: Let's go, Mike.
Mike: Sure. We're out of here, buddy.
Buddy? They're so gay together. Or at least Mike likes Tommy, like Dumbledore liked Gellert.
Ooh, the Pony Pals get in a fight with those rowdy boys.
Tommy: The BORING Pony Pests!
Anna: The DUMB, RUDE Bike Buddies!
Oh dear, this is getting heated.
They eat grilled-cheese-and-TOMATO sandwiches. This is an improvement. At least they're getting their vegetables.
Snow White gets caught in some fishing line. Heh.
How random. Friendly and Bottom Up pop out of nowhere.
Lulu is the best detective. Acorn is the best pony detective. They should work together.
That's seriously how sentences go in this book.
Dang, White Feathers has fish hooks stuck in her body. Ouch.
Pam isn't the best problem solver. "If we cut the fishing line, she could swim away with the hooks. If we take out the hooks, she could bleed."
How about you take her to the ANIMAL HOSPITAL.
I find it hard to believe that Ms. Raskins is the only one working at the shelter right now. Take a break and save the swan. "No, I'm busy, you irresponsible 10-year-olds need to bring it to me yourselves."
They enlist the help of Mr. Kline.
Whatever. This swan would be attacking them. Swans are MEAN. But White Feathers sits calmly while they remove pieces of metal from her flesh.
Whoa, since when is Mr. Kline a fireman? He owns a hardware store!
"We don't want to frighten her by bringing her indoors. There's a hawk in the examining room."
HA. That could end badly.
In the picture, there are THREE babies, but in the story, one is still missing. Way to go, Paul Bachem.
Ms. Raskins is lame. She complains about being overworked and understaffed a lot. How many animals could there be in Wiggins, Population 24?
The Pony Pals have to take care of White Feathers themselves. Laaame.
White Feathers almost chokes to death on some food because of some fishing line. And she lets Lulu cut it off her. THIS IS NOT TYPICAL SWAN BEHAVIOR.
Lulu has such a connection with animals. Not so much with people.
Actually, that's true of me, too.
First there were four swan babies. Then there were three.
ROFL.
Anna thinks Slowpoke is lost forever. Lulu reprimands her friend for being such a pessimist.
Actually, Lulu, it's called realism.
"The Pony Pests are everywhere. Call the exterminator!"
Ha. Ha. Ha.
Oh dear, Tommy starts mimicking Anna. What a jerk. Wait, these boys are how old??
Uh oh. Mike agrees to be more careful with his fishing line, but Tommy refuses. Come on, Mike, convince your boyfriend to obey.
EW, Mike looks exactly like this kid I used to HATE in 6th grade.
They find Slowpoke. She was pretending to be a bump on a log. No lies.
The Pony Pals do these late night watch things quite often and never seem to get tired.
Lulu thinks of their adventure with White Feathers as a horror movie with some happy parts. Hopefully it will have a happy ending. Darn. I was looking for a gory ending.
LAME. They decide to make a sign about the swans, and assume that Mr. Kline will donate the supplies they need because they cost a lot of money and it's for a good cause. The Pony Pals, I've noticed, aren't exactly smart about money.
Anna: Where's your bad-boy buddy?
Mike: Stop saying Tommy's bad. You just don't know him like I do. He's a great guy.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAY WHEN YOU'RE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP! MIKE IS GAY FOR TOMMY!
They suspect Tommy of killing the male swan!! :O
It wasn't him. But the Pony Pals want to assume it was. Because they're prejudiced.
Everyone surrounds the swans and sings "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" to them. LOL. Then the book ends with the typical thanking of the ponies. "Thank you. Thank you for saving the swans." How redundant.
That one wasn't as good as "The Magic Pony", where Mike is even gayer for Tommy, Rema straightens her hair, and Anna decides to be an actress. What drama. Oh, and we learn the real reason behind Mr. and Mrs. Lacey's divorce!!
Plot: Lulu and Snow White are riding with their friends by Lake Appamapog when they find swan feathers. Lulu is obsessed with swans, so they look around to see if they can find any, and lo and behold, there they are, out on the lake! The Pony Pals name the swan and her three cygnets stupid things and admire the beautiful scene for a million years.
Then Mr. Kline comes by in his truck and tells them about the swan's mate, which was shot with a bow and arrow last week. He also instructs them to warn people not to leave their fishing line lying around, as it could kill the swans.
The Pony Pals go out and bother Tommy, because he likes to fish.
The next day, the Pony Pals go to visit the swans again...and find Friendly and Bottom Up, two of the cygnets, all by themselves!! Where are White Feathers and Slowpoke? White Feathers would never leave her babies by themselves!
They put the two babies in a box and take them to the animal shelter.
Later, they find White Feathers tangled up in fishing line. Curse you, Tommy Rand. They send her to the animal ER, too.
White Feathers is reunited with her babies and slowly recovers, but they still can't find Slowpoke! Hm, maybe she died. But the Pony Pals are convinced the cygnet is still alive.
She is. Back to her mother she goes.
After White Feathers recovers, they take the swans back to the lake and put up a sign warning people not to leave their fishing line lying around. Everyone gathers to watch the swans frolic in the water. Joyous days.
More notes:
The copy the library gave me was a hardcover. Seriously, a hardcover Pony Pals! Ghettofabulous.
I hate that bad behavior is written off as "curiosity".
How descriptive Pam. "Swans are really beautiful and big."
"The babies are adorable, but they're brown, not white." Kind of like 101 Dalmations. "WHERE ARE THE SPOTS?"
Uh oh, these swans don't have a father. Irresponsible swan fathers, never pay child support.
Lulu: *looking at the mother swan* White Feathers. She's White Feathers.
Pam: How do you know her name?
Lulu: It just popped into my head.
Anna: It's a perfect name for her.
Hm, maybe because she has WHITE FEATHERS.
Ugh. Lulu sang to some swans in England and they started dancing. Like a ballet. Ha. Swan Lake. Okaaay, enough of that.
They sing, "Make New Friends, but Keep the Old." THAT'S A GIRL SCOUTS SONG!
They name the babies Friendly, Slowpoke, and Bottom Up (because she resembles a shot glass).
ROFL. I love how blunt Mr. Kline is.
Anna: I wonder where he is now.
Mr. Kline: The male was killed last week.
Pam: That's so awful.
Lulu: How was he killed?
Mr. Kline: He was shot with a bow and arrow. His mate was very upset.
They should try to solve the mystery of this swan's murder. Like on "Monk".
OMG!!!
Mr. Kline: There were four cygnets the last time I was here. I guess one of them didn't make it.
Lulu: Was the cygnet shot with a bow and arrow, too?
Mr. Kline: I don't think so. I bet a snapping turtle got it. They go after cygnets and goslings. Or a hawk could have swooped down and taken it.
I love how he's casually chatting about death with 10-year-old girls!! This is hilarious!
Tommy: Let's go, Mike.
Mike: Sure. We're out of here, buddy.
Buddy? They're so gay together. Or at least Mike likes Tommy, like Dumbledore liked Gellert.
Ooh, the Pony Pals get in a fight with those rowdy boys.
Tommy: The BORING Pony Pests!
Anna: The DUMB, RUDE Bike Buddies!
Oh dear, this is getting heated.
They eat grilled-cheese-and-TOMATO sandwiches. This is an improvement. At least they're getting their vegetables.
Snow White gets caught in some fishing line. Heh.
How random. Friendly and Bottom Up pop out of nowhere.
Lulu is the best detective. Acorn is the best pony detective. They should work together.
That's seriously how sentences go in this book.
Dang, White Feathers has fish hooks stuck in her body. Ouch.
Pam isn't the best problem solver. "If we cut the fishing line, she could swim away with the hooks. If we take out the hooks, she could bleed."
How about you take her to the ANIMAL HOSPITAL.
I find it hard to believe that Ms. Raskins is the only one working at the shelter right now. Take a break and save the swan. "No, I'm busy, you irresponsible 10-year-olds need to bring it to me yourselves."
They enlist the help of Mr. Kline.
Whatever. This swan would be attacking them. Swans are MEAN. But White Feathers sits calmly while they remove pieces of metal from her flesh.
Whoa, since when is Mr. Kline a fireman? He owns a hardware store!
"We don't want to frighten her by bringing her indoors. There's a hawk in the examining room."
HA. That could end badly.
In the picture, there are THREE babies, but in the story, one is still missing. Way to go, Paul Bachem.
Ms. Raskins is lame. She complains about being overworked and understaffed a lot. How many animals could there be in Wiggins, Population 24?
The Pony Pals have to take care of White Feathers themselves. Laaame.
White Feathers almost chokes to death on some food because of some fishing line. And she lets Lulu cut it off her. THIS IS NOT TYPICAL SWAN BEHAVIOR.
Lulu has such a connection with animals. Not so much with people.
Actually, that's true of me, too.
First there were four swan babies. Then there were three.
ROFL.
Anna thinks Slowpoke is lost forever. Lulu reprimands her friend for being such a pessimist.
Actually, Lulu, it's called realism.
"The Pony Pests are everywhere. Call the exterminator!"
Ha. Ha. Ha.
Oh dear, Tommy starts mimicking Anna. What a jerk. Wait, these boys are how old??
Uh oh. Mike agrees to be more careful with his fishing line, but Tommy refuses. Come on, Mike, convince your boyfriend to obey.
EW, Mike looks exactly like this kid I used to HATE in 6th grade.
They find Slowpoke. She was pretending to be a bump on a log. No lies.
The Pony Pals do these late night watch things quite often and never seem to get tired.
Lulu thinks of their adventure with White Feathers as a horror movie with some happy parts. Hopefully it will have a happy ending. Darn. I was looking for a gory ending.
LAME. They decide to make a sign about the swans, and assume that Mr. Kline will donate the supplies they need because they cost a lot of money and it's for a good cause. The Pony Pals, I've noticed, aren't exactly smart about money.
Anna: Where's your bad-boy buddy?
Mike: Stop saying Tommy's bad. You just don't know him like I do. He's a great guy.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAY WHEN YOU'RE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP! MIKE IS GAY FOR TOMMY!
They suspect Tommy of killing the male swan!! :O
It wasn't him. But the Pony Pals want to assume it was. Because they're prejudiced.
Everyone surrounds the swans and sings "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" to them. LOL. Then the book ends with the typical thanking of the ponies. "Thank you. Thank you for saving the swans." How redundant.
That one wasn't as good as "The Magic Pony", where Mike is even gayer for Tommy, Rema straightens her hair, and Anna decides to be an actress. What drama. Oh, and we learn the real reason behind Mr. and Mrs. Lacey's divorce!!
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Ghost ponies are entirely probable, or Pony Pals #31: Ponies From the Past
I love how this is the only cover where Lulu actually looks 10-years-old.
Plot: Lulu and Snow White are out riding with their pals Anna and Acorn when Snow White finds a jar inside a hollow log. Curious, Lulu looks inside and finds a later from 1918 written from one young girl (AW) to another (LS). In the letter, AW talks about ponies and boys and things that the Pony Pals often talk about. Lulu feels that AW and LS are kindred spirits and takes the letter to Pam. Pam, being Pam, feels like they should further explore this "mystery": Who is LS? Who is AW? Why didn't LS ever receive the letter?
They go to the Historical Society and look up people with the initials "AW" or "LS" that were born in 1908. How do they know when the girls were born? They could have been 18, not 10!
It turns out "LS", or Lydia Simpson-Eastman, is still alive and lives in a nursing home, so the Pony Pals go visit her. She tells them all about "AW" (or Abigail Wiggins-Stevenson) and herself and their ponies, Bangles and Wildflower. The Pony Pals are shocked to discover that Lydia is Mike Lacey's great grandmother! :O
Bla bla bla, a bunch of boring stuff where they look at some more old letters. Moving on.
Abigail's letters mentioned a secret field, so the Pony Pals seek out the field and go on a ride with Mrs. Wiggins and Lydia in the pony cart and Mike on his bike. They feel like the spirits of Bangles, Wildflower, and Abigail are with them. Lame.
More notes:
Aaargh. Snow White refuses to jump over the fallen tree. She's not curious, just badly behaved.
Lulu won't open the jar until Pam shows up. I guess she learned after that "Sell the pony to Pam's mom" stunt.
Pam doesn't want to open the jar. "We shouldn't read someone else's mail." You should if they're DEAD.
Abigail and Lydia were pestered by boys named George O. and Edwin P. *gasp* JUST LIKE THE PONY PALS!!
"Even John doesn't know about our secret riding field, where girls and ponies are free."
No comment.
Abigail included a really awful drawing with the letter.
What kind of name is Bangles?
Ew, Tommy is blonde in one of the pictures. Mike is a hottie, lol. The Pony Pals are all wearing mom jeans and baggy shirts.
Acorn attacks Tommy.
Anna: Let's go. We've go better things to do than be insulted by Tommy the Teddy Bear and his sidekick, Mike.
Ooooh. Not.
Hm, AW, who lives in Wiggins. Could her last name be Wiggins?
FOR THE LOVE OF DONUTS, they're eating brownies AGAIN!
Pam is an idiot.
Ms. Wiggins: A is for Abigail. My great-aunt Abigail Stevenson. My grandfather was John Wiggins, Abigail's brother. He must be the one who put the letter in the three.
Pam: AW can't be Abigail Stevenson. We're looking for AW, not AS.
Duh, Pam, she got MARRIED.
Ugh. "Maybe the ghosts of the ponies are still in the field."
Oh, gotcha, they find Abigail's birthdate in the family Bible. I'm surprised they even are allowed to MENTION the Bible in this book.
Wait, that doesn't mean Lydia was born in the same year!
Ha ha. Lydia Simpson and Lulu Sanders. SAME INITIALS!
Okay, they look at people born in 1908, but it's not in alphabetical order?? That doesn't make sense to me.
Yeah, let's go visit an old woman and talk about the death of her baby brother!
Oh no, she's Mike's great-grandmother!! She's all, "He's a WONDERFUL boy. You would LOVE him."
Pony Pals: Um, not so much....
Bangles was a Shetland, too. Hm, how interesting.
Laaame. "Hey, here come the Pony Pals! Quick! Call the exterminator!"
Owned, Mike is all, "DON'T MAKE FUN OF MY GRANDMA, TOMMY!"
Mike and the Pony Pals dress in "silly" hats and look at the letters together.
Okay, I know what a false bottom is, but as soon as I read that I started laughing. So immature, I know. Lol.
Mike is named after his great-grandma's baby brother who died of influenza in 1908. Nice.
Lame. The Pony Pals are all, "Mike, you're George O. and Tommy is Edwin P. You're so much cooler without Edwin, I mean, TOMMY."
Lulu: Do you remember Lydia's dream? The one she wrote about in the letter?
Pam: She and Abigail were riding with three other girls and their ponies.
Lulu: Three girls like us.
Creepy....
Ew, there's a picture of Abigail and Lydia and their ponies. The ponies are hideous (as usual), but Lydia looks sort of like Lulu, only uglier, and Abigail looks like Anne of Green Gables, and it seems like she's about to cry.
Don't worry, they're nice ghosts! Yeah, right.
They keep quoting the letter and talking in creepy voices!
WHAT KIND OF LAST SENTENCES ARE THESE?
"'Thank you,' she whispered in her pony's ear. 'Thank you for leading us to the past.'"
That was too weird for me.
I have an Avalon to finish, the last one in the series *gasp*! Don't worry, there's a whole nother Avalon series, which I will read. And then we have more Pony Pals!
I still need to finish my Pony Pal collage, seriously.
Plot: Lulu and Snow White are out riding with their pals Anna and Acorn when Snow White finds a jar inside a hollow log. Curious, Lulu looks inside and finds a later from 1918 written from one young girl (AW) to another (LS). In the letter, AW talks about ponies and boys and things that the Pony Pals often talk about. Lulu feels that AW and LS are kindred spirits and takes the letter to Pam. Pam, being Pam, feels like they should further explore this "mystery": Who is LS? Who is AW? Why didn't LS ever receive the letter?
They go to the Historical Society and look up people with the initials "AW" or "LS" that were born in 1908. How do they know when the girls were born? They could have been 18, not 10!
It turns out "LS", or Lydia Simpson-Eastman, is still alive and lives in a nursing home, so the Pony Pals go visit her. She tells them all about "AW" (or Abigail Wiggins-Stevenson) and herself and their ponies, Bangles and Wildflower. The Pony Pals are shocked to discover that Lydia is Mike Lacey's great grandmother! :O
Bla bla bla, a bunch of boring stuff where they look at some more old letters. Moving on.
Abigail's letters mentioned a secret field, so the Pony Pals seek out the field and go on a ride with Mrs. Wiggins and Lydia in the pony cart and Mike on his bike. They feel like the spirits of Bangles, Wildflower, and Abigail are with them. Lame.
More notes:
Aaargh. Snow White refuses to jump over the fallen tree. She's not curious, just badly behaved.
Lulu won't open the jar until Pam shows up. I guess she learned after that "Sell the pony to Pam's mom" stunt.
Pam doesn't want to open the jar. "We shouldn't read someone else's mail." You should if they're DEAD.
Abigail and Lydia were pestered by boys named George O. and Edwin P. *gasp* JUST LIKE THE PONY PALS!!
"Even John doesn't know about our secret riding field, where girls and ponies are free."
No comment.
Abigail included a really awful drawing with the letter.
What kind of name is Bangles?
Ew, Tommy is blonde in one of the pictures. Mike is a hottie, lol. The Pony Pals are all wearing mom jeans and baggy shirts.
Acorn attacks Tommy.
Anna: Let's go. We've go better things to do than be insulted by Tommy the Teddy Bear and his sidekick, Mike.
Ooooh. Not.
Hm, AW, who lives in Wiggins. Could her last name be Wiggins?
FOR THE LOVE OF DONUTS, they're eating brownies AGAIN!
Pam is an idiot.
Ms. Wiggins: A is for Abigail. My great-aunt Abigail Stevenson. My grandfather was John Wiggins, Abigail's brother. He must be the one who put the letter in the three.
Pam: AW can't be Abigail Stevenson. We're looking for AW, not AS.
Duh, Pam, she got MARRIED.
Ugh. "Maybe the ghosts of the ponies are still in the field."
Oh, gotcha, they find Abigail's birthdate in the family Bible. I'm surprised they even are allowed to MENTION the Bible in this book.
Wait, that doesn't mean Lydia was born in the same year!
Ha ha. Lydia Simpson and Lulu Sanders. SAME INITIALS!
Okay, they look at people born in 1908, but it's not in alphabetical order?? That doesn't make sense to me.
Yeah, let's go visit an old woman and talk about the death of her baby brother!
Oh no, she's Mike's great-grandmother!! She's all, "He's a WONDERFUL boy. You would LOVE him."
Pony Pals: Um, not so much....
Bangles was a Shetland, too. Hm, how interesting.
Laaame. "Hey, here come the Pony Pals! Quick! Call the exterminator!"
Owned, Mike is all, "DON'T MAKE FUN OF MY GRANDMA, TOMMY!"
Mike and the Pony Pals dress in "silly" hats and look at the letters together.
Okay, I know what a false bottom is, but as soon as I read that I started laughing. So immature, I know. Lol.
Mike is named after his great-grandma's baby brother who died of influenza in 1908. Nice.
Lame. The Pony Pals are all, "Mike, you're George O. and Tommy is Edwin P. You're so much cooler without Edwin, I mean, TOMMY."
Lulu: Do you remember Lydia's dream? The one she wrote about in the letter?
Pam: She and Abigail were riding with three other girls and their ponies.
Lulu: Three girls like us.
Creepy....
Ew, there's a picture of Abigail and Lydia and their ponies. The ponies are hideous (as usual), but Lydia looks sort of like Lulu, only uglier, and Abigail looks like Anne of Green Gables, and it seems like she's about to cry.
Don't worry, they're nice ghosts! Yeah, right.
They keep quoting the letter and talking in creepy voices!
WHAT KIND OF LAST SENTENCES ARE THESE?
"'Thank you,' she whispered in her pony's ear. 'Thank you for leading us to the past.'"
That was too weird for me.
I have an Avalon to finish, the last one in the series *gasp*! Don't worry, there's a whole nother Avalon series, which I will read. And then we have more Pony Pals!
I still need to finish my Pony Pal collage, seriously.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Awwwww, it's sooooo cute, or Pony Pals #28: The Newborn Pony
Get ready, kids, because I have SOOOO many books coming up it's not even funny! 3 Balinors, 2 Avalons, and 2 nameless horse books from a depressing and awful series? Pretty much. I, unfortunately, haven't read any of them just yet, so you'll have to stick with the Pony Pals for now.
Plot: Yay, Beauty got knocked up and is going to have a baby!! Strange, this has never been mentioned before.... It appears that Beauty's due date is near, so the Pony Pals offer to stay up all night with her to make sure nothing goes wrong. During the night, Beauty gives birth to a beautiful baby boy. Everyone admires it, and then leave to eat breakfast.
The next morning, Mike Lacey shows up, claiming he wants to see the pony. After a mean trick, the Pony Pals aren't so sure that's the case, so they threaten to tell everyone he is afraid of ponies if he doesn't cut it out. Oooooo....
Oh no, the foal is stricken with pneumonia!!! The Pony Pals and Mike stay up for another night to take care of the poor creature. But don't worry, it's a Pony Pals book; it's not like he's going to DIE! He gets better immediately, so Mike and the Pony Pals decide to each come up with a name, then everyone will vote. Mike comes up with a WONDERFUL name that everyone likes, so the foal is christened "Miracle". Yay.
More notes:
She insists on saying "chestnut-colored".
SINCE WHEN IS BEAUTY PREGNANT?? And how have 11 months passed with us not knowing? I bet I know who the father is, though.
AGH, CRAPPY PONY DRAWINGS!!
Jeanne Betancourt has reused the same "Galloping feels like flying!" paragraph in like 3 books.
Ms. Wiggins: It would be wonderful to have some help. Are you sure you don't mind? It's not as much fun as camping in the hills.
Um, let's see, hole in the ground vs. toilets and running water, real food vs. food over the campfire, I'd rather sleep at your house, Ms. Wiggins.
They call the paddock Beauty's "little yard". I guess Jeanne forgot the terminology.
Pam always has to sound so smart.
I think the Pony Pals wake up every morning and go, "Hm, lovely day, this reminds me of how I met my two best friends." I mean, really, who thinks about their best friends while setting up a tent?
"Lulu thought living in Wiggins would be boring. Then she met Anna and Pam and became a Pony Pal. And then she got Snow White."
That writing makes me cringe.
Of course Snow White will like the baby. Snow White is obsessed with babies.
I think "Black Beauty" is the only movie they've ever seen.
It's easy to mistake people for bears or deer when you're riding...in broad daylight.
Lol, Mike screams like a little girl.
A beautiful drawing of Snow White. She looks like a carousel pony. Mike looks like Eminem.
Being scared of ponies isn't that big a deal.
AAAAAAAAAGH! THEY'RE HAVING SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS FOR DINNER!!!!!!
Anna brings brownies. *shakes head*
He's described as brown with black stockings. The foal on the cover definitely doesn't fit that description.
His marking looks more like a crescent moon than a half moon, Lulu.
Aw, he's so adorable.
They said "teat" in a children's book!!
LOL, Tommy and Mike push their tent over...while they're in it. The drawing is quite odd, though, because Anna somehow ends up on top of Lulu.
ROFL! "'Do you think an animal could have pushed the tent over?' asked Pam. 'Like a cow?'"
"'Maybe a deer did it,' suggested Anna. 'A big deer. And it ran away.'"
How is this a mystery? It was so obviously Tommy and Mike. And why must you always make everything a mystery, Pam?
Mike practically confesses. "It wasn't my idea!!!"
OMG, DUH, IT WAS TOMMY AND MIKE! OF COURSE THEY LEFT TRACKS THAT ARE TOO BIG TO BE YOUR OWN!! YOU'RE SO DUMB!!
I love how their lives revolve around riding. "Oh no, I almost broke my leg! You can't ride with a broken leg!" "That's nothing! I have AIDs! You can't ride with AIDs!" "Well, I have dyslexia! You can't ride with dyslexia!"
They write him a threatening letter.
Mike: We know that you and Tommy tipped over our tent. We have evidence to prove it. If you do anything mean and dangerous like that again, we'll tell Ms. Wiggins. You better leave us alone or you could lose your job.
Pam, Anna, Lulu
P.S. We saw how afraid you were when you fed Picasso. We were spying on you. [That's not stalker-y or anything.]
P.P.S. Watch out for Pony Power! [I think this is why he makes fun of you.]
Btw, who was the person that said, "Boys make fun of you when they like you?" Or maybe all boys are jackasses.
Tommy's idea for a name is Turd. Because the pony is brown.
Ms. Wiggins is so dense.
Okay, Rascal is an okay name, but wth Pam? "His eyes already sparkle with mischief."
Oooh, a very nice drawing of Snow White. Wth, horses and ponies neigh all the time. That doesn't mean someone is dead.
Wth? "Oh no, the foal is congested!" Then give him a Sudafed.
Wow. The Pony Pals fight back.
Tommy: Has the little pony got a little cold-y?
Mike: Quit it, Tomy. This could be serious.
Lulu: Not everything is a joke, Tommy Rand.
Tommy: Well, the Pony Pests are one big joke. You make me laugh all day long.
Pam: And you make me sick. Don't you take anything seriously?
Wth, Lulu stops Pam and is all, "This is not the time to fight with Tommy Rand." Isn't that what you were doing, Mrs. Hypocrite??
Ooh, Tommy uses bad grammar to up his cool factor. "We got better stuff to do."
Ew, Paul Bachem drew the UGLIEST picture of Beauty. Her face is humongous.
Wth, everyone has 90 minutes on watch, but Mr. Silver, the OLD GUY, has 2 hours. Lame.
Ew, foaly is really ugly in the next picture, and Mike is all up against the wall for some reason. Like a Boys Like Girls song.
Go Pam!
Mike: Okay, okay. I get it. I'm not stupid.
Pam: *glare of death* Sometimes you are. When you follow whatever stupid, dumb, dangerous thing Tommy Rand says.
Lulu: You're even afraid of Tommy. And we know you're afraid of ponies, too.
Shut up, Lulu. I hate that this book is about Lulu. Just a lot of Snow White glorification.
Why is it that when they want to stay up late, they eat cookies and juice? Drink Red Bull and you'll be fine.
Mike saves the day...again.
Wth, shut up, Lulu, you ungrateful whore.
If someone is coughing, get them to stand up and it will be all better. Or grab their belly. Says nurse Pam.
WTH, THIS IS NOT SOME EPIC PRANK WAR! MIKE JUST SAVED YOUR FREAKING PONY!
"Lulu looked up and saw a white shape running through the dawning light.
It was Snow White."
That's good, because I was afraid it was a polar bear. Duh, of course it was Snow White.
Lulu and Mike bond over milk.
Pam's name is Rascal.
Lulu's name is Moon, which I would've voted for back in the day, when I was obsessed with all things moon: Sailor Moon, crescent moon, moonshining....
Anna chooses Big Boy?? What kind of name is that? Pam suggests they call him B. B. Maybe if he was a blues artist.
Mike chooses Miracle, and they force him to say why he chose that name.
"Because it's like a miracle that he was born without any problems. Then he got sick, and it's a miracle he didn't die."
Mike said "like" like a valley girl. That's so sappy but kind of sweet.
Mike isn't shy, Lulu, he's just embarassed that he has to talk about ponies with 3 ten-year-old girls.
WHY must you do a secret ballot, just choose a name!!!
Lulu has crappy handwriting.
Miracle wins. I like Moon better.
A horrible picture of Snow White, a very nice picture of Lightning, and Acorn is palomino??? What??
This book was barely about Snow White, and Lulu is all, "Snow White, you saved the whole world from global warming while ending world hunger!!"
Lame. "You're great, Snow White. You are the miracle in my life."
Lol. You are the music in me.
So that's it. Tomorrow I'll talk about Avalon!!! Yay! Magic and talking ferrets. It will be quite fantastic.
Plot: Yay, Beauty got knocked up and is going to have a baby!! Strange, this has never been mentioned before.... It appears that Beauty's due date is near, so the Pony Pals offer to stay up all night with her to make sure nothing goes wrong. During the night, Beauty gives birth to a beautiful baby boy. Everyone admires it, and then leave to eat breakfast.
The next morning, Mike Lacey shows up, claiming he wants to see the pony. After a mean trick, the Pony Pals aren't so sure that's the case, so they threaten to tell everyone he is afraid of ponies if he doesn't cut it out. Oooooo....
Oh no, the foal is stricken with pneumonia!!! The Pony Pals and Mike stay up for another night to take care of the poor creature. But don't worry, it's a Pony Pals book; it's not like he's going to DIE! He gets better immediately, so Mike and the Pony Pals decide to each come up with a name, then everyone will vote. Mike comes up with a WONDERFUL name that everyone likes, so the foal is christened "Miracle". Yay.
More notes:
She insists on saying "chestnut-colored".
SINCE WHEN IS BEAUTY PREGNANT?? And how have 11 months passed with us not knowing? I bet I know who the father is, though.
AGH, CRAPPY PONY DRAWINGS!!
Jeanne Betancourt has reused the same "Galloping feels like flying!" paragraph in like 3 books.
Ms. Wiggins: It would be wonderful to have some help. Are you sure you don't mind? It's not as much fun as camping in the hills.
Um, let's see, hole in the ground vs. toilets and running water, real food vs. food over the campfire, I'd rather sleep at your house, Ms. Wiggins.
They call the paddock Beauty's "little yard". I guess Jeanne forgot the terminology.
Pam always has to sound so smart.
I think the Pony Pals wake up every morning and go, "Hm, lovely day, this reminds me of how I met my two best friends." I mean, really, who thinks about their best friends while setting up a tent?
"Lulu thought living in Wiggins would be boring. Then she met Anna and Pam and became a Pony Pal. And then she got Snow White."
That writing makes me cringe.
Of course Snow White will like the baby. Snow White is obsessed with babies.
I think "Black Beauty" is the only movie they've ever seen.
It's easy to mistake people for bears or deer when you're riding...in broad daylight.
Lol, Mike screams like a little girl.
A beautiful drawing of Snow White. She looks like a carousel pony. Mike looks like Eminem.
Being scared of ponies isn't that big a deal.
AAAAAAAAAGH! THEY'RE HAVING SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS FOR DINNER!!!!!!
Anna brings brownies. *shakes head*
He's described as brown with black stockings. The foal on the cover definitely doesn't fit that description.
His marking looks more like a crescent moon than a half moon, Lulu.
Aw, he's so adorable.
They said "teat" in a children's book!!
LOL, Tommy and Mike push their tent over...while they're in it. The drawing is quite odd, though, because Anna somehow ends up on top of Lulu.
ROFL! "'Do you think an animal could have pushed the tent over?' asked Pam. 'Like a cow?'"
"'Maybe a deer did it,' suggested Anna. 'A big deer. And it ran away.'"
How is this a mystery? It was so obviously Tommy and Mike. And why must you always make everything a mystery, Pam?
Mike practically confesses. "It wasn't my idea!!!"
OMG, DUH, IT WAS TOMMY AND MIKE! OF COURSE THEY LEFT TRACKS THAT ARE TOO BIG TO BE YOUR OWN!! YOU'RE SO DUMB!!
I love how their lives revolve around riding. "Oh no, I almost broke my leg! You can't ride with a broken leg!" "That's nothing! I have AIDs! You can't ride with AIDs!" "Well, I have dyslexia! You can't ride with dyslexia!"
They write him a threatening letter.
Mike: We know that you and Tommy tipped over our tent. We have evidence to prove it. If you do anything mean and dangerous like that again, we'll tell Ms. Wiggins. You better leave us alone or you could lose your job.
Pam, Anna, Lulu
P.S. We saw how afraid you were when you fed Picasso. We were spying on you. [That's not stalker-y or anything.]
P.P.S. Watch out for Pony Power! [I think this is why he makes fun of you.]
Btw, who was the person that said, "Boys make fun of you when they like you?" Or maybe all boys are jackasses.
Tommy's idea for a name is Turd. Because the pony is brown.
Ms. Wiggins is so dense.
Okay, Rascal is an okay name, but wth Pam? "His eyes already sparkle with mischief."
Oooh, a very nice drawing of Snow White. Wth, horses and ponies neigh all the time. That doesn't mean someone is dead.
Wth? "Oh no, the foal is congested!" Then give him a Sudafed.
Wow. The Pony Pals fight back.
Tommy: Has the little pony got a little cold-y?
Mike: Quit it, Tomy. This could be serious.
Lulu: Not everything is a joke, Tommy Rand.
Tommy: Well, the Pony Pests are one big joke. You make me laugh all day long.
Pam: And you make me sick. Don't you take anything seriously?
Wth, Lulu stops Pam and is all, "This is not the time to fight with Tommy Rand." Isn't that what you were doing, Mrs. Hypocrite??
Ooh, Tommy uses bad grammar to up his cool factor. "We got better stuff to do."
Ew, Paul Bachem drew the UGLIEST picture of Beauty. Her face is humongous.
Wth, everyone has 90 minutes on watch, but Mr. Silver, the OLD GUY, has 2 hours. Lame.
Ew, foaly is really ugly in the next picture, and Mike is all up against the wall for some reason. Like a Boys Like Girls song.
Go Pam!
Mike: Okay, okay. I get it. I'm not stupid.
Pam: *glare of death* Sometimes you are. When you follow whatever stupid, dumb, dangerous thing Tommy Rand says.
Lulu: You're even afraid of Tommy. And we know you're afraid of ponies, too.
Shut up, Lulu. I hate that this book is about Lulu. Just a lot of Snow White glorification.
Why is it that when they want to stay up late, they eat cookies and juice? Drink Red Bull and you'll be fine.
Mike saves the day...again.
Wth, shut up, Lulu, you ungrateful whore.
If someone is coughing, get them to stand up and it will be all better. Or grab their belly. Says nurse Pam.
WTH, THIS IS NOT SOME EPIC PRANK WAR! MIKE JUST SAVED YOUR FREAKING PONY!
"Lulu looked up and saw a white shape running through the dawning light.
It was Snow White."
That's good, because I was afraid it was a polar bear. Duh, of course it was Snow White.
Lulu and Mike bond over milk.
Pam's name is Rascal.
Lulu's name is Moon, which I would've voted for back in the day, when I was obsessed with all things moon: Sailor Moon, crescent moon, moonshining....
Anna chooses Big Boy?? What kind of name is that? Pam suggests they call him B. B. Maybe if he was a blues artist.
Mike chooses Miracle, and they force him to say why he chose that name.
"Because it's like a miracle that he was born without any problems. Then he got sick, and it's a miracle he didn't die."
Mike said "like" like a valley girl. That's so sappy but kind of sweet.
Mike isn't shy, Lulu, he's just embarassed that he has to talk about ponies with 3 ten-year-old girls.
WHY must you do a secret ballot, just choose a name!!!
Lulu has crappy handwriting.
Miracle wins. I like Moon better.
A horrible picture of Snow White, a very nice picture of Lightning, and Acorn is palomino??? What??
This book was barely about Snow White, and Lulu is all, "Snow White, you saved the whole world from global warming while ending world hunger!!"
Lame. "You're great, Snow White. You are the miracle in my life."
Lol. You are the music in me.
So that's it. Tomorrow I'll talk about Avalon!!! Yay! Magic and talking ferrets. It will be quite fantastic.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Rough Riders, Rough Riders, yeee-haw, or Pony Pals #22: Western Pony
I remember hating this one. I mean, if I came home and my friends had let someone else ride my pony for 2 weeks, I'd be pretty mad. But, while rereading this, I was kind of annoyed by the way Lulu went about this. Geez, PMS?
Plot: Lulu has been gone on a two week vacation in Virginia, visiting her godparents, and the Pony Pals have been taking care of Snow White for her. But when Lulu gets home, she is shocked to find Snow White missing! She freaks out for a million pages, until she sees Anna and Pam...riding to Anna's house...with Snow White...
...who's being ridden by Charlie Chase, Mr. Olson's nephew, who is visiting town. And he was riding Snow White not only without Lulu's permission, but WESTERN STYLE!!! *gasp* Lulu gets really peeved and acts all mad for another million pages. She doesn't want to hang out with Pony Pals, is mean to Charlie, and doesn't ride Snow White. Then she makes up with them after they apologize to her (yeah...) and instead of running away to Virginia (don't ask), she invites her godsister (is there such a thing?) Alicia to Wiggins to participate in Mr. Olson's hoedown! Oh boy!
But on the day of the hoedown, Charlie's horse Moondance (that's really his name) injures his leg, so Charlie can't trick ride. But Lulu lets him ride Snow White. And they are best friends forever. Yeah. It was pretty boring.
More notes:
Jigsaw. Another adorable pony name.
Why do we need to know the color of the hair Grandmother Sanders is cutting?
Since when does Dr. Crandal have an assistant? His business has expanded quite a bit since #1.
Isn't Pony Pal Trail secret? How does Henry know about it?
Again, Lulu decides not to tell her grandmother that she's going out into the woods because it's too important and her grandma probably wouldn't let her do it. Smart.
Ooh, Charlie is from Wyoming. And Lulu thinks he's irresponsible.
I used to think Moondance was the coolest name EVER. Not so much anymore.
I don't get why Lulu is so freaked that he rode her western. Snow White's stupid, but she's not stupid enough to get confused.
Charlie = no social skills. But at least he's friendly. YES, SOMEONE WHO ISN'T SHY AND SELF-CENTERED! Then again, he's a guy. :P
He's being conscientous, leave him alone.
Why do we need this whole description on the wonder of the Pony Pals IN EVERY BOOK!!! Because it's ALWAYS THE SAME. They could at least shorten it, or spice it up or something. And it totally didn't fit with what Lulu is thinking. She thinks about the Pony Pals origins, way back to Mommy and Daddy in the bedroom, and then after 6 pages is all, "But they didn't even feel like Pony Pals anymore." WHAT??
Charlie can whistle to ponies. Jealous.
Lulu such a loser. She's all whining about everything.
She buys some plastic ponies for Anna and Pam from a museum. Where is this plastic pony museum? I want to go.
Alicia sounds way nice. I wish she and Lulu would switch places. Then maybe Anna could grow a brain and Pam would stop being such a control freak.
Pretty picture of Snow White. Anna is still on the crack corn. And she still wakes up at 5:00 AM. BECAUSE SHE LIKES IT.
Lulu wonders if Pam and Anna have gone boy crazy all of a sudden. Okay, just because you like girls....
Now she's chewing out Anna!
Snow White's all, "Crap, Lulu's back."
Lulu doesn't want Moondance to hurt Snow White, but she willingly puts Snow White in the paddock with Lightning. Um, right.
Moondance sounds adorable, but they never show a picture. Same with Alicia.
This is like #16 all over again. Charlie barrel races with Snow White and Lulu freaks out and is all, "HORSE SAFETY! HORSE SAFETY!"
SHUT UP ABOUT SAFETY!!!
A lame joke about skipping rope. "I'm skipping rope." "We're not skipping rope. This isn't jump rope." I swear, it's as if the author had NEVER HEARD OF EXCLAMATION POINTS!
Charlie should hang out with Tommy and Mike because he's an obnoxious boy. Yeah, that wasn't sexist.
Shut up, Lulu. You're just jealous.
Nice excuse. Liar.
Hm, your friends are finally reaching out to non-Pony Pals, so you decide to go back to Virgina.
Isn't that a rule? No boys at sleepovers???
I love it when Pam acts like Lulu is stupid.
Moondance isn't bad looking. But I pictured him cuter. DISAPPOINTING.
Wth, Snow White isn't wearing a bridle in the picture. And Lulu was all mad that Pam and Anna had supposedly ridden her bareback. Hypocrite much?
Wait, that's ANNA riding Snow White. WHAAAAAAAT?
Uh oh, Pam and Anna want Lulu to conform to their menu choices....
Why would they need to ask you before they planned a hoedown? It's not like they're doing it for you.
The word "stupid" shows up multiple times in this book. *gasp* IT'S A CHILDREN'S STEP-UP BOOK!
I heart Belgians.
Oh, sure, Pam, let's use the ribbons your mother won in her show days to give to all the good little boys and girls!
They think cross-dressing is funny.
Barrel racing on English is way fun.
Charlie always picks the wrong time to say something.
LOL. Pam and Anna are just ignoring Lulu's tantrums.
Ew, a picture of Acorn all sway-backed and teary-eyed.
So Alicia is coming, but we'll never know what she looks like, and then we'll never hear from her again.
OMG! Take that, Lulu!
Anna: You use to say you had fun in Wiggins. (Anna is always mumbling)
Pam: Didn't you even miss us when you were gone? We missed you.
Lulu: You did not. You didn't even care that I came back.
Pam: Well, you didn't act happy to be back. All you did was complain.
LOL!!!!
WTH??? IT HAPPENED AGAIN! In the picture, Anna is saddling up Snow White and Lulu is mounting Acorn. WTH???
Lucky. Alicia has 6 horses. Or 4 horses, 2 ponies. Whatever.
Little Rascal is a dumb name.
Pam is trying to set up Alicia with Charlie!!!!!
Ew, they do the letter from three points of view again, and Lulu talks about how much she hates Charlie for like forever, and Anna talks about how much she loves Charlie.
Totally reminded me of last year when Mr. Caley called Mrs. Schultz-Story and said, "I sent you an e-mail."
Who doesn't love winning? You wouldn't be all, "CRAP! I WON!"
Anna kisses Lulu on the cheek. Holding hands, kissing cheeks...?
Only 6 posters? How small is this town?
Anna is wearing a red strapless gown. I kid you not.
Jigsaw sounds adorable, too! And there's no picture....
Alicia and the Pony Pals get along very well. And Lulu doesn't get all jealous of Alicia.
Alicia likes Charlie, too, and Lulu doesn't get mad at her.
Why does Pam always win first place?
Charlie competes in the adult division. How old is he?
Charlie is a real man.
Why does Dr. Crandal always pop out of nowhere?
Ew. Mr. Olson has a horse named Handsome.
Charlie's a hottie. No lie.
Charlie is responsible on Snow White and wins a prize...and Lulu congratulates Snow White. Loser.
Lulu is way evil. But Anna suddenly hates Charlie all of sudden? It's in #23, which is coming up later.
Plot: Lulu has been gone on a two week vacation in Virginia, visiting her godparents, and the Pony Pals have been taking care of Snow White for her. But when Lulu gets home, she is shocked to find Snow White missing! She freaks out for a million pages, until she sees Anna and Pam...riding to Anna's house...with Snow White...
...who's being ridden by Charlie Chase, Mr. Olson's nephew, who is visiting town. And he was riding Snow White not only without Lulu's permission, but WESTERN STYLE!!! *gasp* Lulu gets really peeved and acts all mad for another million pages. She doesn't want to hang out with Pony Pals, is mean to Charlie, and doesn't ride Snow White. Then she makes up with them after they apologize to her (yeah...) and instead of running away to Virginia (don't ask), she invites her godsister (is there such a thing?) Alicia to Wiggins to participate in Mr. Olson's hoedown! Oh boy!
But on the day of the hoedown, Charlie's horse Moondance (that's really his name) injures his leg, so Charlie can't trick ride. But Lulu lets him ride Snow White. And they are best friends forever. Yeah. It was pretty boring.
More notes:
Jigsaw. Another adorable pony name.
Why do we need to know the color of the hair Grandmother Sanders is cutting?
Since when does Dr. Crandal have an assistant? His business has expanded quite a bit since #1.
Isn't Pony Pal Trail secret? How does Henry know about it?
Again, Lulu decides not to tell her grandmother that she's going out into the woods because it's too important and her grandma probably wouldn't let her do it. Smart.
Ooh, Charlie is from Wyoming. And Lulu thinks he's irresponsible.
I used to think Moondance was the coolest name EVER. Not so much anymore.
I don't get why Lulu is so freaked that he rode her western. Snow White's stupid, but she's not stupid enough to get confused.
Charlie = no social skills. But at least he's friendly. YES, SOMEONE WHO ISN'T SHY AND SELF-CENTERED! Then again, he's a guy. :P
He's being conscientous, leave him alone.
Why do we need this whole description on the wonder of the Pony Pals IN EVERY BOOK!!! Because it's ALWAYS THE SAME. They could at least shorten it, or spice it up or something. And it totally didn't fit with what Lulu is thinking. She thinks about the Pony Pals origins, way back to Mommy and Daddy in the bedroom, and then after 6 pages is all, "But they didn't even feel like Pony Pals anymore." WHAT??
Charlie can whistle to ponies. Jealous.
Lulu such a loser. She's all whining about everything.
She buys some plastic ponies for Anna and Pam from a museum. Where is this plastic pony museum? I want to go.
Alicia sounds way nice. I wish she and Lulu would switch places. Then maybe Anna could grow a brain and Pam would stop being such a control freak.
Pretty picture of Snow White. Anna is still on the crack corn. And she still wakes up at 5:00 AM. BECAUSE SHE LIKES IT.
Lulu wonders if Pam and Anna have gone boy crazy all of a sudden. Okay, just because you like girls....
Now she's chewing out Anna!
Snow White's all, "Crap, Lulu's back."
Lulu doesn't want Moondance to hurt Snow White, but she willingly puts Snow White in the paddock with Lightning. Um, right.
Moondance sounds adorable, but they never show a picture. Same with Alicia.
This is like #16 all over again. Charlie barrel races with Snow White and Lulu freaks out and is all, "HORSE SAFETY! HORSE SAFETY!"
SHUT UP ABOUT SAFETY!!!
A lame joke about skipping rope. "I'm skipping rope." "We're not skipping rope. This isn't jump rope." I swear, it's as if the author had NEVER HEARD OF EXCLAMATION POINTS!
Charlie should hang out with Tommy and Mike because he's an obnoxious boy. Yeah, that wasn't sexist.
Shut up, Lulu. You're just jealous.
Nice excuse. Liar.
Hm, your friends are finally reaching out to non-Pony Pals, so you decide to go back to Virgina.
Isn't that a rule? No boys at sleepovers???
I love it when Pam acts like Lulu is stupid.
Moondance isn't bad looking. But I pictured him cuter. DISAPPOINTING.
Wth, Snow White isn't wearing a bridle in the picture. And Lulu was all mad that Pam and Anna had supposedly ridden her bareback. Hypocrite much?
Wait, that's ANNA riding Snow White. WHAAAAAAAT?
Uh oh, Pam and Anna want Lulu to conform to their menu choices....
Why would they need to ask you before they planned a hoedown? It's not like they're doing it for you.
The word "stupid" shows up multiple times in this book. *gasp* IT'S A CHILDREN'S STEP-UP BOOK!
I heart Belgians.
Oh, sure, Pam, let's use the ribbons your mother won in her show days to give to all the good little boys and girls!
They think cross-dressing is funny.
Barrel racing on English is way fun.
Charlie always picks the wrong time to say something.
LOL. Pam and Anna are just ignoring Lulu's tantrums.
Ew, a picture of Acorn all sway-backed and teary-eyed.
So Alicia is coming, but we'll never know what she looks like, and then we'll never hear from her again.
OMG! Take that, Lulu!
Anna: You use to say you had fun in Wiggins. (Anna is always mumbling)
Pam: Didn't you even miss us when you were gone? We missed you.
Lulu: You did not. You didn't even care that I came back.
Pam: Well, you didn't act happy to be back. All you did was complain.
LOL!!!!
WTH??? IT HAPPENED AGAIN! In the picture, Anna is saddling up Snow White and Lulu is mounting Acorn. WTH???
Lucky. Alicia has 6 horses. Or 4 horses, 2 ponies. Whatever.
Little Rascal is a dumb name.
Pam is trying to set up Alicia with Charlie!!!!!
Ew, they do the letter from three points of view again, and Lulu talks about how much she hates Charlie for like forever, and Anna talks about how much she loves Charlie.
Totally reminded me of last year when Mr. Caley called Mrs. Schultz-Story and said, "I sent you an e-mail."
Who doesn't love winning? You wouldn't be all, "CRAP! I WON!"
Anna kisses Lulu on the cheek. Holding hands, kissing cheeks...?
Only 6 posters? How small is this town?
Anna is wearing a red strapless gown. I kid you not.
Jigsaw sounds adorable, too! And there's no picture....
Alicia and the Pony Pals get along very well. And Lulu doesn't get all jealous of Alicia.
Alicia likes Charlie, too, and Lulu doesn't get mad at her.
Why does Pam always win first place?
Charlie competes in the adult division. How old is he?
Charlie is a real man.
Why does Dr. Crandal always pop out of nowhere?
Ew. Mr. Olson has a horse named Handsome.
Charlie's a hottie. No lie.
Charlie is responsible on Snow White and wins a prize...and Lulu congratulates Snow White. Loser.
Lulu is way evil. But Anna suddenly hates Charlie all of sudden? It's in #23, which is coming up later.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Goodbye old paint, or Pony Pals #19: Moving Pony
Yes. All ponies move. I think we're supposed to get from the title that the pony in question is leaving town. Whatever. Lulu's jeans are too short. Then again, so are mine. I need some new ones.
Plot: Sandy Nation and her mother Maria's are moving (ON HORSEBACK???) from Powell to Reston, but they stop in Wiggins when Maria's horse gets injured. The Pony Pals assume that because Sandy has a pony, she is an amazing person, and try to become "friends" with her. But Sandy hates everyone and doesn't want to move.
Bla bla bla, about 50 pages on Sandy grumbling.
After an unsuccessful barn sleepover (This is how they become friends with people; they invite them over for a sleepover and are shocked to discover this is too much, too soon.), the girls decide to go to the river to swim. But during their lil adventure, Sandy leaves, saying she wants to go back to the Crandals' house and talk to her mom, or something.
But on their way home, Lulu discovers that Sandy was trying to go back to Powell! The Pony Pals follow her and find Sandy with a broken ankle. They help her and convince her not to go back to Powell. Um...that's it.
More notes:
Another horse? It's a miracle!
I would be crabby, too, if I had to camp in the rain with my mom for three days.
Anna, we know you're an ignorant person. Kindly try not to display your ignorance.
Pam thinks they're criminals.
It's like if there's another pony in town, it has to be the same breed as the Pony Pals' ponies. Dandy was the only exception.
They introduce themselves and each of their ponies. I don't think the nice people care.
CONTINUITY! In every other book up till now, Lulu's mother died when she was 4. In this one, they say 3. What's up with that?
Maybe she died on the day before Lulu's 4th birthday. Big question: HOW DID SHE DIE??
The pony's name is Raffle. I used to think that was the coolest name ever. But I like Waffle better.
Ew, horse named Willow. And it's a boy. Watched any Val Kilmer movies lately?
So messed up. They're moving to Reston. Maria's husband and sons took the car, and since they don't have a horse trailer, they're RIDING to Reston. WTH?? Isn't there a service that takes your horses to wherever in a trailer? I'M SURE THERE IS! Or you could BUY one.
Mrs. Crandal knows Maria. It's a small world....
Sandy: Can I call Liana now? You said I could.
Maria: Honey, don't you think it will just make you sadder?
Lulu: *Who is Liana and why would talking to her make Sandy sad?*
Gee, I can figure that out. Can't you?
Sandy doesn't want to make new friends because you're in a cult and she doesn't want to move. Leave her alone.
Okay, Sandy's just being annoying. I've noticed whenever there's a new girl in town, she's mean, shy, and self-centered. WHY IS THIS???? Are there no extroverts out there that want to move to a small horse-worshiping town?
Anna: That Sandy sure is bossy.
Like you're not....
I love Vivien Kubbos' drawings of ponies. Take that, Paul Bachem!!
Sandy looks like Dorothy Hammill with blonde hair. And Raffle is way adorable.
Sandy doesn't want Raffle outside with the other ponies. Duh. Lightning bites.
OMG, THEY'RE HAVING SPAGHETTI AGAIN! It's like our family and pasta. We're not even Italian. THAT wasn't stereotyped.
Anna compares Sandy to Rema Baxter. Can't make the connection. Rema's a desperate fiendish loser. Sandy's just mean.
Sandy's crying herself to sleep...cuz she cannot keep their attention. Sorry, Bethany Dillon song.
Pam: I don't think she knows how to make new friends.
I've heard that excuse before. Either she's a complete idiot or she knows very well what she's doing. And I think she just hates you.
Mmm, blueberry muffins.
Ew, this is so obviously a jab at Sandy.
Mrs. Crandal: It looks likeyou're stuck here with us, Maria.
Maria: I don't mind. I'll watch you teach and get some more ideas on how to run a riding school. Besides, I like making new friends.
Mrs. Crandal: Me, too.
We get it. You're daughter is a freak.
Lulu thinks Sandy is fatty because she takes a lot of food. Methinks she's running away.
Raffle tries to kill Acorn. But we don't know why. Because Acorn is the friendliest pony in the world!!
Ew, Liana's pony was named Peaches.
Sandy: Liana's my best friend in my whole life.
That sentence doesn't really flow.
Sandy is galloping on muddy ground. So the Pony Pals gallop after her to tell her to slow down. What's wrong with this picture??
Adorable picture of Acorn. He looks like he's supposed to.
Anna tries to use the whole, "It's three against one," tactic on Sandy. But Sandy basically tells her to screw off.
Sandy's being all nice. Because she doesn't want them to suspect anything. Duh.
Anna takes it seriously.
Anna also strips. Bad pictures.
Now they figure out that Sandy is a liar. Took you long enough.
You are not a good detective, Lulu. Gotta hit 'em with a dose of reality now and then.
Lulu tries to think like Sandy Nation. She makes Sandy sound all whiny. It's pretty funny.
Agh, they're calling it pony plop again.
No, Pam, don't go for help. Let's try to find Sandy ON OUR OWN with NO ADULT SUPERVISION. Losers.
Look, a huge pony imprint in the ground.
Anna: Maybe a fox got in a fight with another animal.
Are you serious?
I'm really confused as to why you can't ride with a sprained ankle. You could just mount on THE OTHER SIDE.
She sprained her ankle, I don't think she cares where help comes from.
Lulu mistakes a bracelet for a bird.
Why is Raffle wearing a halter? Is it under his bridle? Because how else did she ride there?
Sandy tries to convince the Pony Pals to help her get back to Powell. So if the police get involved, they'll get in trouble for helping a minor escape???
EVERYONE KNOWS HOW TO WRAP AN ACE BANDAGE!!
You can SO ride with a sprained ankle. Just mount on the side requiring your nonsprained foot and make your horse walk.
Ew, Sandy has two other friends and they solve problems together. Like the Pony Pals.
I have to admit, Sandy planned ahead.
Anna is shocked Sandy would have the balls to stay in the woods alone.
We have to hear stuff about Lulu's move from England. :P
RESTON AND POWELL AREN'T THAT FAR APART??? Then why is there this big drama???
You don't like Sandy, stop lying.
Sandy made fun of Pam. I like this girl.
Sorry, guys, but if you want to be my friend, you have to be smart AND brave. :P What is this, Harry Potter?
"Don't put your feet in the stirrups. That would hurt." JUST LOWER THE STIRRUPS!!! IT WILL NOT HURT!!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaagh. Lulu pulls the biggest guilt card of all: "I don't have a mother, so you should be grateful that you do!!!" Unbelievable. MANIPULATION!!
Plot: Sandy Nation and her mother Maria's are moving (ON HORSEBACK???) from Powell to Reston, but they stop in Wiggins when Maria's horse gets injured. The Pony Pals assume that because Sandy has a pony, she is an amazing person, and try to become "friends" with her. But Sandy hates everyone and doesn't want to move.
Bla bla bla, about 50 pages on Sandy grumbling.
After an unsuccessful barn sleepover (This is how they become friends with people; they invite them over for a sleepover and are shocked to discover this is too much, too soon.), the girls decide to go to the river to swim. But during their lil adventure, Sandy leaves, saying she wants to go back to the Crandals' house and talk to her mom, or something.
But on their way home, Lulu discovers that Sandy was trying to go back to Powell! The Pony Pals follow her and find Sandy with a broken ankle. They help her and convince her not to go back to Powell. Um...that's it.
More notes:
Another horse? It's a miracle!
I would be crabby, too, if I had to camp in the rain with my mom for three days.
Anna, we know you're an ignorant person. Kindly try not to display your ignorance.
Pam thinks they're criminals.
It's like if there's another pony in town, it has to be the same breed as the Pony Pals' ponies. Dandy was the only exception.
They introduce themselves and each of their ponies. I don't think the nice people care.
CONTINUITY! In every other book up till now, Lulu's mother died when she was 4. In this one, they say 3. What's up with that?
Maybe she died on the day before Lulu's 4th birthday. Big question: HOW DID SHE DIE??
The pony's name is Raffle. I used to think that was the coolest name ever. But I like Waffle better.
Ew, horse named Willow. And it's a boy. Watched any Val Kilmer movies lately?
So messed up. They're moving to Reston. Maria's husband and sons took the car, and since they don't have a horse trailer, they're RIDING to Reston. WTH?? Isn't there a service that takes your horses to wherever in a trailer? I'M SURE THERE IS! Or you could BUY one.
Mrs. Crandal knows Maria. It's a small world....
Sandy: Can I call Liana now? You said I could.
Maria: Honey, don't you think it will just make you sadder?
Lulu: *Who is Liana and why would talking to her make Sandy sad?*
Gee, I can figure that out. Can't you?
Sandy doesn't want to make new friends because you're in a cult and she doesn't want to move. Leave her alone.
Okay, Sandy's just being annoying. I've noticed whenever there's a new girl in town, she's mean, shy, and self-centered. WHY IS THIS???? Are there no extroverts out there that want to move to a small horse-worshiping town?
Anna: That Sandy sure is bossy.
Like you're not....
I love Vivien Kubbos' drawings of ponies. Take that, Paul Bachem!!
Sandy looks like Dorothy Hammill with blonde hair. And Raffle is way adorable.
Sandy doesn't want Raffle outside with the other ponies. Duh. Lightning bites.
OMG, THEY'RE HAVING SPAGHETTI AGAIN! It's like our family and pasta. We're not even Italian. THAT wasn't stereotyped.
Anna compares Sandy to Rema Baxter. Can't make the connection. Rema's a desperate fiendish loser. Sandy's just mean.
Sandy's crying herself to sleep...cuz she cannot keep their attention. Sorry, Bethany Dillon song.
Pam: I don't think she knows how to make new friends.
I've heard that excuse before. Either she's a complete idiot or she knows very well what she's doing. And I think she just hates you.
Mmm, blueberry muffins.
Ew, this is so obviously a jab at Sandy.
Mrs. Crandal: It looks likeyou're stuck here with us, Maria.
Maria: I don't mind. I'll watch you teach and get some more ideas on how to run a riding school. Besides, I like making new friends.
Mrs. Crandal: Me, too.
We get it. You're daughter is a freak.
Lulu thinks Sandy is fatty because she takes a lot of food. Methinks she's running away.
Raffle tries to kill Acorn. But we don't know why. Because Acorn is the friendliest pony in the world!!
Ew, Liana's pony was named Peaches.
Sandy: Liana's my best friend in my whole life.
That sentence doesn't really flow.
Sandy is galloping on muddy ground. So the Pony Pals gallop after her to tell her to slow down. What's wrong with this picture??
Adorable picture of Acorn. He looks like he's supposed to.
Anna tries to use the whole, "It's three against one," tactic on Sandy. But Sandy basically tells her to screw off.
Sandy's being all nice. Because she doesn't want them to suspect anything. Duh.
Anna takes it seriously.
Anna also strips. Bad pictures.
Now they figure out that Sandy is a liar. Took you long enough.
You are not a good detective, Lulu. Gotta hit 'em with a dose of reality now and then.
Lulu tries to think like Sandy Nation. She makes Sandy sound all whiny. It's pretty funny.
Agh, they're calling it pony plop again.
No, Pam, don't go for help. Let's try to find Sandy ON OUR OWN with NO ADULT SUPERVISION. Losers.
Look, a huge pony imprint in the ground.
Anna: Maybe a fox got in a fight with another animal.
Are you serious?
I'm really confused as to why you can't ride with a sprained ankle. You could just mount on THE OTHER SIDE.
She sprained her ankle, I don't think she cares where help comes from.
Lulu mistakes a bracelet for a bird.
Why is Raffle wearing a halter? Is it under his bridle? Because how else did she ride there?
Sandy tries to convince the Pony Pals to help her get back to Powell. So if the police get involved, they'll get in trouble for helping a minor escape???
EVERYONE KNOWS HOW TO WRAP AN ACE BANDAGE!!
You can SO ride with a sprained ankle. Just mount on the side requiring your nonsprained foot and make your horse walk.
Ew, Sandy has two other friends and they solve problems together. Like the Pony Pals.
I have to admit, Sandy planned ahead.
Anna is shocked Sandy would have the balls to stay in the woods alone.
We have to hear stuff about Lulu's move from England. :P
RESTON AND POWELL AREN'T THAT FAR APART??? Then why is there this big drama???
You don't like Sandy, stop lying.
Sandy made fun of Pam. I like this girl.
Sorry, guys, but if you want to be my friend, you have to be smart AND brave. :P What is this, Harry Potter?
"Don't put your feet in the stirrups. That would hurt." JUST LOWER THE STIRRUPS!!! IT WILL NOT HURT!!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaagh. Lulu pulls the biggest guilt card of all: "I don't have a mother, so you should be grateful that you do!!!" Unbelievable. MANIPULATION!!
Saturday, October 6, 2007
YOU'VE ANGERED THE DEMONS, or Super Special #3: Pony Pals: The Ghost Pony
What is with Jeanne Betancourt and Super Specials? I'm not seeing a pattern as to when these Super Specials are supposed to come out. Maybe she just writes them when she gets bored? Lol, I just saw a noose in the shape of a heart. Not morbid at all.
Plot: The Pony Pals are digging around in Morristown, a ghost town. While they're there, they hear mysterious noises that scare their ponies! Gasp! Could it be a ghost?
Then a bunch of people start telling the Pony Pals ghost stories and they pee their pants.
But while at the Historical Society, they find a story about a girl named Emily from 1870. Emily was their age and even had a pony! How...nice. They read a stupid newspaper story about how Emily got trapped on a mountain and her pony Angel died to save her. Now they're convinced the ghostie they heard in Morristown was really Angel, but she's a nice ghost. They're not scared anymore.
Then they read Emily's diary, dig up Angel's grave, make her a new headstone, and participate in the Wiggins Historical Fair. Then they give this stupid moving tribute to Angel. Seriously. That was it.
More notes:
Since when do you need string to play with tops??
Aaargh, Anna believes in ghosts.
I believe in demons. But I don't believe there are demons in Morristown.
Wth, Snow White looks like a palomino...
Heh. Anna thought she saw a ghost in her bedroom when she was 5. Now she's afraid of them.
Pam is so annoying in this one. "That wasn't a ghostly noise. That was the wind." That's what they said in "The Secret Garden" and it turned out to be a crazy crippled boy.
So lame. The noises they hear sound like, "Oh-oo-oo, oh-oo-oo." How are you even supposed to pronounced that? Sounds like a bad pop song.
Sure, Pam. An owl made that noise. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY.
ANNA AND LULU ARE HOLDING HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lulu listens to tape recordings of owls all the time, so she knows it wasn't an owl noise. Wow.
They hear a whinny. GHOST PONY!!!
Yes Pam, we know there are no such things as ghosts.
IT WAS NOT THE WIND WHISTLING THROUGH THE TREES! AAAAAGH! SHUT UP!
Oh, it couldn't have been Tommy and Mike. They're in Washington, D.C. I thought Mike was poor.
A ghost town does not actually refer to ghosts.
OMG THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A MORGAN PONY! MORGANS ARE FREAKING HORSES!
Duh, Morgans are known for pulling heavy loads. Ever heard of Justin Morgan?
Angel tried to wake Emily up with nudges and hot breath. Sorry. That just sounds way funny.
How did Angel die? She was injured, but not that injured. And they did not use the phrase "put down" in 1870. Anachronistic.
SO LAME: May Angel rest in peace. She is, indeed, an Angel.
What? Why would you capitalize Angel if it's not her name in the last part? So dumb.
Yes, people tend to be sad when their animals DIE.
Mr. Conway doesn't want to talk to three 10-year-old girls. What a surprise.
Lame. He believes in ghosts. And was confronted by the ghost pony. *gag*
He also believes in the crying baby ghost. And the ghost of Mr. Warner, who trips you with his chains!!
I don't think Mr. Warner will trip your ponies. BECAUSE HE ISN'T REAL.
Yeah, riding at night, not a smart plan anyway.
Now Pam believes in ghosts.
He can't speak for the ghosts. Heh. This old man is so mean it's funny.
I wasn't sure if they had metal charm bracelets in 1870.
SHE'S DEAD, Pam. I think it's okay to read her stupid diary.
I hate people who write in their diary like it's a real person. That's why I could read "The Diary of Anne Frank".
I bet Lucy, Meg, and Emily are reincarnations of the Pony Pals.
Emily = Lulu. There's the whole "I killed my pony" guilt thing going on.
Lucy = Pam. They live farther away than the other two.
Meg = Anna. Cuz she has a mischevious pony.
Lame New year's resolutions.
Aw, read this poem.
Here lies Emily's Angel
She was a true, brave friend
May she be remembered always
It's like a bad attempt at a haiku.
PLEASE don't let the Pony Pals write something for the fair.
Aren't you supposed to be controlling Acorn, not the other way around?
They find a piece of slate that says "Ed always", and they think it can't be Angel's because it says "Ed" on it. "Ed always"? THAT MAKES NO SENSE!
Oh, duh, it's from "remembered always"!
Why does Mrs. Crandal just happen to have a big piece of slate in her garage.
Lame. Pony Pals are pretending to be from the "olden days".
And they write a horrible piece on 1870.
Creepy. They hold a seance-type grave digging thingy.
Plot: The Pony Pals are digging around in Morristown, a ghost town. While they're there, they hear mysterious noises that scare their ponies! Gasp! Could it be a ghost?
Then a bunch of people start telling the Pony Pals ghost stories and they pee their pants.
But while at the Historical Society, they find a story about a girl named Emily from 1870. Emily was their age and even had a pony! How...nice. They read a stupid newspaper story about how Emily got trapped on a mountain and her pony Angel died to save her. Now they're convinced the ghostie they heard in Morristown was really Angel, but she's a nice ghost. They're not scared anymore.
Then they read Emily's diary, dig up Angel's grave, make her a new headstone, and participate in the Wiggins Historical Fair. Then they give this stupid moving tribute to Angel. Seriously. That was it.
More notes:
Since when do you need string to play with tops??
Aaargh, Anna believes in ghosts.
I believe in demons. But I don't believe there are demons in Morristown.
Wth, Snow White looks like a palomino...
Heh. Anna thought she saw a ghost in her bedroom when she was 5. Now she's afraid of them.
Pam is so annoying in this one. "That wasn't a ghostly noise. That was the wind." That's what they said in "The Secret Garden" and it turned out to be a crazy crippled boy.
So lame. The noises they hear sound like, "Oh-oo-oo, oh-oo-oo." How are you even supposed to pronounced that? Sounds like a bad pop song.
Sure, Pam. An owl made that noise. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY.
ANNA AND LULU ARE HOLDING HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lulu listens to tape recordings of owls all the time, so she knows it wasn't an owl noise. Wow.
They hear a whinny. GHOST PONY!!!
Yes Pam, we know there are no such things as ghosts.
IT WAS NOT THE WIND WHISTLING THROUGH THE TREES! AAAAAGH! SHUT UP!
Oh, it couldn't have been Tommy and Mike. They're in Washington, D.C. I thought Mike was poor.
A ghost town does not actually refer to ghosts.
OMG THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A MORGAN PONY! MORGANS ARE FREAKING HORSES!
Duh, Morgans are known for pulling heavy loads. Ever heard of Justin Morgan?
Angel tried to wake Emily up with nudges and hot breath. Sorry. That just sounds way funny.
How did Angel die? She was injured, but not that injured. And they did not use the phrase "put down" in 1870. Anachronistic.
SO LAME: May Angel rest in peace. She is, indeed, an Angel.
What? Why would you capitalize Angel if it's not her name in the last part? So dumb.
Yes, people tend to be sad when their animals DIE.
Mr. Conway doesn't want to talk to three 10-year-old girls. What a surprise.
Lame. He believes in ghosts. And was confronted by the ghost pony. *gag*
He also believes in the crying baby ghost. And the ghost of Mr. Warner, who trips you with his chains!!
I don't think Mr. Warner will trip your ponies. BECAUSE HE ISN'T REAL.
Yeah, riding at night, not a smart plan anyway.
Now Pam believes in ghosts.
He can't speak for the ghosts. Heh. This old man is so mean it's funny.
I wasn't sure if they had metal charm bracelets in 1870.
SHE'S DEAD, Pam. I think it's okay to read her stupid diary.
I hate people who write in their diary like it's a real person. That's why I could read "The Diary of Anne Frank".
I bet Lucy, Meg, and Emily are reincarnations of the Pony Pals.
Emily = Lulu. There's the whole "I killed my pony" guilt thing going on.
Lucy = Pam. They live farther away than the other two.
Meg = Anna. Cuz she has a mischevious pony.
Lame New year's resolutions.
Aw, read this poem.
Here lies Emily's Angel
She was a true, brave friend
May she be remembered always
It's like a bad attempt at a haiku.
PLEASE don't let the Pony Pals write something for the fair.
Aren't you supposed to be controlling Acorn, not the other way around?
They find a piece of slate that says "Ed always", and they think it can't be Angel's because it says "Ed" on it. "Ed always"? THAT MAKES NO SENSE!
Oh, duh, it's from "remembered always"!
Why does Mrs. Crandal just happen to have a big piece of slate in her garage.
Lame. Pony Pals are pretending to be from the "olden days".
And they write a horrible piece on 1870.
Creepy. They hold a seance-type grave digging thingy.
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