Lulu's Return: Part #1

Anna Harley opened her eyes at 5:00 AM, just like she did every morning. Pam Crandal snorted beside her.
"Wake up, Pam." Anna practically shouted in her ear. Pam groaned into her pillow. The two had grown out of barn sleepovers long ago and now preferred to sleep in Anna's bed. Pam was still having a hard time getting up.
"Pam!!" Anna squealed in an irritating fashion. Pam resolutely pulled the covers over her ears, so Anna gave up and went outside to feed the ponies.
Both Starfire and Snow White were already awake. Anna went to grab some hay, but paused near Acorn's empty stall. She sighed. After Lulu left, the inhabitants of Wiggins followed suit. Fat Cat "ran away", or so Dr. Crandal said, as to soften the blow for Jack and Jill. Shadow was hit by a car. Mr. and Mrs. Quinn were taken to the nursing home, and, without them knowing it, their pony Ginger was sold to the slaughterhouse. Even her beloved pony Acorn didn't stand a chance. Though both Rosalie and Anna had begged them not to, Mr. and Mrs. Harley sold Acorn to Mr. Olson during the recession. "You're both getting too big for him," they reasoned. Even so, Anna rarely spoke to her parents. She shook her head, refusing to think about it.
When she went back inside, Pam was in the kitchen, cooking breakfast. "Blueberry pancakes," she grunted, shuffling around the kitchen like an old woman. Anna stifled a groan. Back in the golden days, when she, Pam, and Lulu had been called "The Pony Pals", she'd eaten brownies, spaghetti, and blueberry pancakes by the truckload. But puberty hadn't been especially nice to her and there was a bit of extra pudge around her middle from all the scrumptious carbs.
"Uh...I think I'll pass...." She made herself a protein shake and forced herself to drink it. Mmmm, so healthy. She wouldn't have to eat again until dinnertime!
"Are you excited for school?" Pam asked pleasantly, suddenly cheerful. It was hard to get even-keeled Pam excited about anything, but homework and extra credit gave her a thrill like nothing else. She was especially excited because they'd be starting their senior year in 3 days time.
Anna, on the other hand, still hated school. It wasn't just the condescending teachers or the dyslexia, but hormones and teenage girls made school almost impossible to deal with. Pam just didn't understand; she'd never had acne, and her periods lasted a grand total of 2 days. Sometimes Anna wondered how heavy her friend's flow was. But only sometimes.
"Anna!" Pam hissed all of a sudden. Anna snapped out of her perverted reverie.
"What?"
"Someone's in the paddock!" Anna ran to the window, and saw a strange girl with Snow White. Strange... She couldn't recall letting the either animal out of their stall....
"She's trying to steal the ponies!" It was a fear she'd often had when she was a kid. But the ponies didn't seem to be frightened. Snow White seemed downright cheerful. And the girl, though strange, was starting to look a little familiar...
"PAM!!!" Anna screamed.
"What?"
"You're not going to believe this."
"What?"
"It's...it's...it's..."
"ENOUGH WITH THE SUSPENSE! TELL ME WHO IT IS OR I'LL DESTROY YOU!" Complete silence followed Pam's loud outburst. Anna wondered if the time of the month she'd been pondering just moments ago had come around again. She then remembered the important thing she had to tell Pam.
"That's Lulu outside with the ponies! She's back!"

6 years later....

The Pony Pals have grown too big for ponies...
They are now known as THE HORSE COMPANIONS!

Horse Companions #1: Lulu's Return

After 6 years apart, the Pony Pals (ahem, Horse Companions) are finally reunited for their senior year of high school when Lulu comes back to Wiggins. But things are different between them now. Lulu doesn't like to ride anymore! Anna's happy with Charlie, but now that Lulu's back in town, she can't seem to choose between them! Pam was happy when Lulu left, but now that she's back, in seems everyone is back under her spell. Will the three ever be friends again?

Coming soon, summer 2009!

Months of toil now at an end, or Pony Pals Super Special #6: The Last Pony Ride

This is it, guys. The very last Pony Pals book.



Plot: Major changes are going on in Wiggins. Lulu's father wants to her to move to Africa with him! Pam and Anna are getting too big for their ponies!!! What is going on???
First, let's deal with Pam: Pam finds it's getting a tad uncomfortable to ride Lightning. At the same time, Eleanor Whats-her-face has given Pam her horse Starfire after a tragic riding accident, forcing him (not her; she got a new horse) to retire early. Pam is torn between the pony she loves and the horse she longs to care for.
Her mom is totally NOT helping, by hinting that Lightning is a boring old nag that should be sold for glue.
In the end, Pam chooses to keep Starfire and let her mom use Lightning as a school pony, but still take care of her old pony every day.
Good choice.
Now Lulu: Her dad suddenly wants her to move to Africa with him, because he doesn't want to miss her childhood.
Hello???
Then why did you dump her in Wiggins with her grandmother in the FIRST PLACE???
Lulu begs her father to let her stay in Wiggins, with her FRIENDS, and GRANDMA, and PONY, but her dad insists she move to a country (Botwswana) with civil wars so she can make new friends. Because introverts are soooooo good at that.
Lulu has been defeated by her SUCKY FATHER!!! She decides to give Snow White to Anna, because Snow White is the perfect size for her 4'10" friend.
Anna: Basically what was just said about Lulu. She doesn't want her friends to move and change and go through puberty and that, and she doesn't want to give up Acorn. So she asks her parents if she can have TWO ponies (Snow White and Acorn), and Mike Lacey agrees to help her with barn chores so she doesn't get behind in school.
So Anna has two ponies, Lulu has no pony, and Pam has a horse AND a pony.
Not fair.
So Lulu moves to Africa, taking with her a scrapbook of all the Pony Pal's adventures. AWwww.

More notes:
Can I just say I REALLY liked this book? It was sweet.
Except for all the really bad parents.

Isn't Botswana one of the wartorn countries??

Ooh, Lulu got to ride an elephant!! How exotic!

Whatever. I could still ride ponies like Acorn in like 6th grade at 5'4". Anna is 6 inches shorter than that. She needs to suck it up. Just lengthen your stirrups, honey.

Eleanor is such a fake. "Oooh, I miss Starfire! He'll never be able to compete again!"
So she dumps him on a ten-year-old and buys a NEW horse to compete with.

Pam is 5'4", too, and she's too big for Lightning???? Lightning is 14 hands. She should be the perfect height!!

Pam's mom is so annoying. I really, REALLY despise her.

Ugh.
Eleanor: I thought Starfire and I wouldbe a team forever. Now I'm training another horse. I'll walk him around a little. Then I have to go back and ride my new horse. You'll always be my star! *sob*
-_-

Mr. Crandal shaved!!!!!!! He looks Samoan.

Starfire is so named because he has a white STAR marking on his forehead, but that marking is not evident in the illustration.

Ooh, Dr. Crandal's in on it, too.
If your daughter was happy with a pony, why wouldn't you let her be??
And if Pam isn't too big to ride DAISY and SPLASH and train numerous other ponies, she really shouldn't be too big for Lightning!

Mike: Is this something for Lulu?
Anna: Yeah. It's going to say 'Welcome home.' Pam was supposed to write it, but she's not here yet. And Lulu will be here any minute.
Mike: I'll write it for you. I print good.
Yeah, but you don't speak so well.

The writing in this book is definitely more improved than previous books, but Ms. Betancourt still has a tendency to repeat phrases.

Okay, Mr. Sanders wants Lulu to have some permanence in her life, so he's ripping her out of her comfortable life in Wiggins to live with him in Botswana...FOR TWO YEARS. THEN where are they going to move, I wonder?

Oh, it's going to be so great, Lulu! People speak English there, and you can go to school, and your dad bought an apartment for the two of you!
Oh, and you can't bring Snow White.

Pam: Did you tell your dad you didn't want to move to Africa?
Lulu: It seemed like an okay idea when I was there.

Anna: What does your grandmother always want us to do?
Lulu: Be girlie girls.
I'm glad she has such high expectations.

They let Grandma Sandy give them makeovers, then beg her to tell her irresponsible son to let his daughter stay where she pleases.

Grandma: Makeovers! What a lovely idea. I have a great idea for Anna's hair. A shade of pink nail polish would be perfect for girls your age. And there's a new aqua one with sparkles.
Lulu: I bet Pam would like that one.
Hehehe.

SHE STRAIGHTENS ANNA'S HAIR!!

I think Pam is over Lightning. She forgets what gender her pony is.

This sounds like something from a horror movie.
"Lulu's grandmother turned her attention to Lulu. 'Now I am going to give you curls,' she announced cheerfully."

Whoa, pink and silver beads totally don't go with sparkly aqua nail polish.

Moral of this story: Tomboys are better.

Charlie's back in town!! What, he's 12??? I thought he was 14. He's best friends with Mike and Tommy, isn't he??? WHY WOULD THEY HANG OUT WITH A 12-YEAR-OLD??

Uh oh. They go out to dinner at the diner, looking like girls...and see Tommy, Charlie, and Mike.
Recipe for disaster.

Tommy: Look at the Pony Pests. They're trying to be girls.
Jerk. He's probably a homophobe.
Which is weird, cuz he's gay with Mike.
Is it possible to be a gay homophobe?
I guess that's called hypocrisy.

Meow, Lulu looks like Evangeline Lilly.

Grandma: Riding helmets will crush your new hairdos.
Forsake your riding safety, Lulu! I don't care if you die in a riding accident as long as your corpse looks good!

Then she says: Don't worry about it, dear. It's you I love. Not what your hair looks like.
Which is, like, the opposite of what you've been telling her all these years.

Surprise! Starfire is Pam's now.
And her mom still sucks.

Mrs. Crandal totally drops that bomb on her, and then when Pam reacts, is all, "Sorry, I'm busy, we'll discuss this later."
Haaaate.

Anna's in denial. She doesn't realize she's too huge for Acorn (though in the picture all the girls are the same size and look aptly suited to their ponies).

WHOA!!!
Never tell Anna anything, or she might react like this:
"You're going to have a horse! You're giving up Lightning! If you have Starfire, you won't ride her at all. You're disloyal and you're bad Pony Pals. Both of you!!"
*runs away crying*

The Pony Pals decide to let her cool off on her own for a while.
THEY'RE LEARNING! HALLELUJAH!

Oh. Anna admits she's a little psycho. And sad. And resistant to change.
Awwww.


I HATE LULU'S DAD!!!
He's SO SELFISH! If he wants to be with Lulu so badly, why isn't he putting her best interests into the picture??
It's been about his career all this time, and it's STILL about his career.
He claims he doesn't want to miss anymore of her childhood, that she should remain in one place, and that they belong together.
If that's so, MOVE TO WIGGINS TO BE WITH YOUR KID, YOU SELFISH LOSER!!!
He's SUCH a jerk.
And it sucks cuz Lulu probably knows this, but she does love and her dad and wants to live with him.
This is the part of the book that made me really sad. And incensed. But pretty sad, too.

THE MOMENT OF TRUTH:
Tommy: Good riddance. We have too many Pony Pests around here. We need pest control.
Mike: Stop it! Stop being mean. It's not funny.
Tommy: Good riddance to you, too. You're a bigger pest than they are.

Wow. I guess it's really over. Now Mike and Anna can hook up!!
Unless...uh oh....
Mike: He makes me so mad sometimes. He's a lousy friend.
Charlie: *pats him on the back* You can find better guys than him to hang out with. [Read: ME!]
Mike: *smile* I guess.
Awww, so much for Mike + Anna.
That would be the awesomest fanfic ever. An Anna, Mike, and Charlie love triangle.

Lulu thinks up some pretty smart ideas.
Idea #1: She wants to give Snow White to Anna, because Snow White knows Anna and giving her away is easier than selling her.
Idea #2: They can enter the 21st century (yay!) and use e-mail to communicate.
They agree to e-mail every week.
Every WEEK?? Come on. Use IM and talk every DAY.

What's with the idea that hobbies detract from schoolwork? I disagree. There can be a balance, and Anna does have a legitimate learning disability.

Mrs. Harley isn't the nicest mom either.
Anna: Acorn and Snow White shouldn't be seperated. They're best friends. They're stablemates.
Mrs. Harley: Of course they can be separated. Ponies are bought and sold all the time. You can only have one pony. That's more than most kids have. I'm sorry, Anna. You'll have to decide what pony you want.
Harsh!! I can understand the financial burden another pony would bring, but seriously??? Your kid's grades should have NOTHING to do with the decision, lady. And she has to choose? Way mean.

No way!!!
Rosalie wishes she could ride ponies more often.
Anna can't take care of two ponies.
Mike offers to take care of both ponies, in exchange for more riding time for Rosalie.
That's so nice!!!!

Basically, they make Mike do ALL the barn chores.
Whoa, that wasn't in the agreement. Anna should still help out.

Haha, we find out the Pony Pals' middle names.
Mike's middle name is John. Lame.
Charlie's is K. Huh. Like Harry S. Truman.
Pam's is Eleanor (after the famous chick who tossed her injured horse over Pam's way).
Anna's is Marie.
Lulu doesn't have a middle name. That's why she's no longer in the club and has to move to Africa.

"I heard you're moving to AFrica. It's a wonderful oppurtunity for you."
That's Mr. Harley talking. I suppose that's true, but all the same, how inconsiderate.
This girl has to leave most of her family and friends (AND PONY) to a completely different culture where there are wars and dangerous animals and excessive heat.
Not that I have anything against Africa (quite the opposite), but if I was forced to move there, I'd be cutting myself now.

How convenient. Rosalie is the perfect size for Acorn. So, in essence, Acorn is Rosalie's pony now.

Yay, the Harley's agreed!

They say goodbye to almost everyone in Wiggins, and reference quite a few of the past books. This includes:
Ms. McGee (Historical Society Chick); Mike's grandma (after they found her secret letter in the secret spot in #31); Ms. Raskins (the slacker girl in charge of St. Francis Animal Shelter); Eve Greeley and Lucky (the pony they raised from birth); Mr. and Mrs. Quinn (the old people with the old pony); Mimi Klein and Tongo (the bratty girl with her bratty pony); Mr. Olson (creepy old man/Charlie's uncle); and Mr. Remington (the cool, Harry Potter-obsessed librarian).

They throw a going-away party for Lulu, where they serve all her favorite foods: spaghetti and brownies!!!

Aw. Grandma Sandy buys them matching pony necklaces to help them remember the now defunct Pony Pals.

They have a profile in the back of the book on each character and pony.
Lulu is 5 feet, and likes detective work and spaghetti, but not fussing with her hair.
Anna is 4'10" (!!), and likes brownies and drawing, but not school.
Pam is 5'4" (at 10 years old!!!), and likes jumping and being in charge (that's for sure), but not bossy people (ironically enough).

The Happiest Pony Pal Moment:
When Lulu got Snow White and we knew we would be the Pony Pals.
I can think of happier Pony Pal Moments.
Not off the top of my head, but if I tried really hard....

The Saddest Pony Pal Moment:
When we found out that Lulu was moving.
What about when Winston died?
Well, yeah, I guess friend moving FOREVER trumps pony dying FOREVER.
Not even being sarcastic.

Awww. I miss them already.
Seriously, when did I start this blog?? Remember when it was originally JUST Pony Pals?
Well, now there are no more Pony Pals...
...AND I REALLY MISS THEM.
But I do have plenty of Madison Finns to keep you entertained. That should be fun.
Next stop: Madison Finn Super Special #1. Someone's getting married!!!

This event will be followed by the Teddy Bear Picnic, or Pony Pals #38: Ponies on Parade

After this, only one more Pony Pal to go!!! Aaaagh!!
I like how it took Jeanne Betancourt 38 books to improve her writing. This book isn't spectacular and shouldn't win any awards, but it's probably one of the best Pony Pals books. Except for the fact that Acorn looks like a Wookiee on the cover.



Plot: The Pony Pals are SUPER excited for the Fall Festival, where there will be fun games, fatty foods, and crisp autumn leaves to enjoy!!!
This year, the town is doing something special; they're picking 10 people to each paint a lifesize statue of a pony.
Okay, what is this town's obsession with ponies?
Anna really wants to enter, but she doesn't have any ideas...and her homework is keeping her busy.
The Pony Pals help her brainstorm and finish her essay.
Anna paints her lifesize pony statue to look just like Acorn, and writes a bunch of Shetland facts on the sides.
But Tommy Rand, after having several angry altercations with the Pony Pals, decides to get revenge and paints graffiti all over Anna's pony!!!
Plus, he tries to pin it on Mike by writing "ML was here".
Nice try, Tommy.
Anna manages to fix the pony, and Mike apologize's for his boyfriend's behavior. Tommy, however, isn't the least bit sorry.
The Pony Pals decide to teach him a lesson. The pony statues are to be auctioned off at the Fall Festival, so the Pony Pals convince Mrs. Rand (Tommy's mother) that Tommy misses Acorn and he needs the statue to remind him of his old pony.
So Mrs. Rand buys the statue at the auction!!!!
Then she gets up on stage and tells everyone how much her son loves ponies!!!
Try the best Pony Pals ending ever!!!

More notes:
Anyone can write a research paper in two days. I've done it. My friends do it all the time. College students often have less time than that. Anna needs to suck it up.

The best way to get a paper done is to procrastinate.

Pam and Lulu are such losers.
Lulu: I finished my paper about Mount Morris. It's five pages long. Now all I have to do is make sure there aren't any mistakes.
[Writing about Mount Morris was a pretty big mistake.]
Pam: I almost finished mine, too. I learned so much about ballpoint pens. They used to leak like crazy.
[Golly, Lulu! Ballpoint pens are so fascinating!! They used to leak!! If you got to write a research paper on ANYTHING in the world, wouldn't you write about something controversial or interesting??]

I want to know where they get these lifesize ponies.

Out of all the crappy illustrators for the Pony Pals books, Richard Jones is my favorite. These illustrations are pretty stellar.

Tommy and Mike start pelting them with acorns. Ouch.

Ms. Wiggins wants to paint an angel pony, in honor of Winston. XP

WHOAAA!!! Ms. Wiggins has always been tall and thin with dark hair. Now she's tall and thin with BLONDE hair!!!

Some of Anna's ideas include a devil pony and a striped pony. Heheh. I like the devil pony, but it's too Satanic for Anna.

Anna's mom makes her stay home to write her paper...so Anna goes off to ride with the Pony Pals. I foresee a "Lion King" discipline scene. "You deliberately disobeyed me!"

Now we know the reason the boys hate the Pony Pals so much.
Mike: Hey, man. Why'd we have to keep following them?
Tommy: Because we want to mess up their stupid little Pony Pest day. We'll go in the cave and make ghost noises. That'll freak them out. Then it can be our hideout. Get it?
Got it. You're stupid.

5 seconds later, Tommy steps in horse crap.

Mike and Tommy are lost in the woods, so the Pony Pals draw them a map.
Unfortunately, Tommy's bike has a flat tire.
So he takes MIKE'S bike and leaves Mike with HIS bike!
Jerk.

This book was written in 2003, so the Pony Pals are all high-tech, using e-mail.

Lame lame lame. Anna can't decide on a research topic, so she picks Shetland ponies.

She prints out 36 pages on Shetland ponies!!! I'll bet she ran out of ink.

Ha. The Pony Pals are so mean to Tommy.

I hate that misbehaving ponies are never punished. I'm not saying they need to be whipped to death, but hello? Acorn opens the gate with his mouth and steals all their cookies! That's not cute, he could escape and die!!!

Yeah! Mike likes the devil pony, too!!

NOYCE! Mr. Remington the librarian is painting a pony that looks just like Harry Potter!!
Wait, so he has Daniel Radcliffe hair and everything?
Noyce.

Anna got a B-plus and the teacher wrote "Good job" on the paper. No. If you're going to write "Good job", give her at least an A!!!
Maybe it was for grammar mistakes.

Mike is making spaghetti for dinner.
What is wrong with these carb-obsessed freaks!!??

Anna has only 2 days to paint the pony, so her friends decide to take shorter trail rides.
You could always NOT trail ride, giving your more time to paint.

Mike told Tommy about the Pony contest, when he told Anna he WOULDN'T tell!!!
Betrayed!!!

I can't believe he ruined her pony. What a jerk.

Anna honestly thinks Mike did it.
Mike would never do a thing like that, Anna. He loves you.

Tommy practically confesses.

Awwww. Mike offers to help repaint the pony.

Some of the other pony ideas weren't so stellar:
Tuxedo Pony, Patriotic Pony, Glitter Pony, Little Red Riding Pony, Unicorn Pony, Baseball Pony, and Sky Pony are some of them.

AAAAH, THE PONY PALS ARE SO EVIL...BUT FUNNY!
Mrs. Rand: Anna Harley, this is perfect copy of Acorn. Absolutely perfect. Acorn was such a good pony. I miss him.
Lulu: I think Tommy misses Acorn, too.
Pam: He talks about Acorn sometimes.
Mrs. Rand: I'm so glad you told me that. Tommy's growing up so fast. Sometimes I don't recognize my sweet little boy.
Anna: Maybe you should buy My Pony at the auction. Then Tommy can always remember his time with Acorn.
Tee hee.

Mr. Olson almost buys the Acorn Pony!!! Go away, creepy pedophile!! Go back to your cowboy nephew!!

Mrs. Rand wins.

OH NO!
Mrs. Rand: Acorn was my son's pony. He's missed him. Now he'll always have Acorn.

Aaah, good times, good times.
Only one more Pony Pals book to go!!
And Lulu's moving to Africa!! Oh no!!!

Unkept promises abound, or Pony Pals Super Special #4: The Fourth Pony Pal

So it's the FOURTH Super Special and it's about the FOURTH Pony Pal. Sorry. Not really funny.



Plot: Pam wants to take part in a jumping clinic in Virginia, so she and her Pony Pals go on a road trip!!! w00t!!!
When they get to the clinic, Mrs. Foster (the person in charge) is a total snob, and all the other girls are wankers. Shelly, Mrs. Foster's daughter, is just as mean as everyone else, but seems withdrawn and sad a lot of the time.
The meddling Pony Pals get to the bottom of it: Shelly misses her pony Midnight Ride, but is angry at her mother and best friend Brooke because they'd been advising her to dump Midnight Ride before he DIED of COLIC.
Ooooh, that burns.
The Pony Pals comfort Shelly, convince her to cry it out, and help her reconnect with her mother.
Then they go home.

More notes:
Lulu casually mentions homework. It seems like the Pony Pals NEVER GO TO SCHOOL.

Summer vacation again???

Wait...the clinic is in Virginia. Isn't that where Lulu's godsister or whatever Alicia lives?? And they're not going to go visit? I guess Alicia doesn't exist anymore.

They get a letter from Eleanor Morgan, the pro stadium jumper from #21. She writes like a 10-year-old.

Pam's dad is all, "Oh no, a week without Pam, what will I do?"
Shut up, Robert. You should be jumping for joy.
At least I think his name is Robert. Didn't he say his name was Robert that one time?

Anna feels like she's missing something important....
Underwear? No, not underwear.
Shoes? No, of course not.
Pads? Heck no, why would she need that?
Oh duh - ART SUPPLIES!

Grandmother Sanders gives them a beauty kit to take with them. Read: So you 3 won't look like slobs at the jumping clinic.

They live in Conneticutt (I know I spelled that wrong), right? It takes them 4 HOURS to get to Virginia. I don't think so. Mapquest says 9.

They act like people make a big deal about whether you have a horse or a pony. No, Pam, I don't think anyone cares.

Mrs. Foster is wonderfully polite ...until Pam's mom leaves.

Mrs. Foster: You shouldn't have disappeared like that. All your friends are upstairs.
Shelly: They're not my friends. They're your students.
Nice, a character with backbone!

Anna is such a freak!
"When we stay over at Pam's we sleep in the barn. We call ourselves the Pony Pals and love to trail ride."
And you wonder why you don't make friends easily....

Pam: Hi. I'm Pam Crandal. The tall one.
Um, the black one....

They have a palomino pony...named GOLDIE.
Proving that no one has any originality.

Heh. Mrs. Foster splits them up.

Pam is kind of stupid.
Shelly: Tell Brooke that my mother wants to speak with her.
Pam: *turns to Brooke* Shelly said-
Brooke: No duh, I'm not deaf.

Brooke and Shelly are fighting. Pam is sharing a room with them. Should be fun. XP

"Anna didn't mention the lucky upside-down heart marking on Lightning's forehead. She had a feeling Shelly wouldn't care."
I don't care either, Anna.

Sweet. Shelly is antisocial and feisty. We have a lot in common, Shelly!

Okay, I know these girls like horses, but there are OTHER horse books and movies that DON'T involve Black Beauty.

Everyone likes to talk about themselves, Pam. What's wrong with you?

Brooke is Regina from "Mean Girls".

Shelly seems upset. Pam wonders if Shelly lost a big competition.
Or maybe someone died, perhaps?

Bells say ding-dong, ding-dong. What kind of bell says dong-dong, dong-dong?

Shelly tells Brooke where to stuff it when Brooke mistakenly makes fun of the Pony Pals. Yeaaah!

Mrs. Foster: Quiet, you two. Watch carefully. You can learn a lot just by observing.
Anna: I can learn how to be bored.
Lol.

The Pony Pals want to know what Shelly's problem is and why she's so sad and angry.
I want to know why it's any of their business.

Anna and Snow White escape. In the process of looking for them, Pam sets off the burglar alarm. Hahaha, it wakes EVERYONE up.

I notice no one in this series ever has short hair or glasses. If they're a girl, anyway. For boys, that's true, too...except for the short hair part.

They start talking about ponies and Shelly runs away crying.
RED FLAG!

Her pony's name was Midnight Ride. -_- Guess what color he was?

"Shelly is a lot angry at her mother. We all wonder why."
Not only is that HORRIBLE grammar, but it should seem pretty obvious why Shelly hates her mom; the woman's a PSYCHO.

Anna has come a long way. Instead of instantly labeling people "snobs", she gives Shelly another chance.

Brooke: More Pony Pal secrets?
Lulu: Yes, and they're all about you, Brooke.
Pwned!!

To make friends with Shelly, they write her a letter????
But you guys are staying in the same house!!

Shelly doesn't want to play therapist with the Pony Pals, but she'd rather hang out with them than watch...*drumroll*..."Black Beauty"!
What is their obsession with this movie, as well as spaghetti, brownies, and grilled cheese sandwiches?

Shelly probably shouldn't watch a movie about a black horse. Might set her off again. Whatever.

"I was the only one who cried when Midnight Ride died."
Awwwwww....

Okay, lame. When Shelly tells them she has no interest in competing, Lulu and Anna understand.
But when Pam, in the beginning of the series, told them she HATED competing and had no interest in doing so, they EMOTIONALLY BLACKMAILED her into competing.
These guys SUCK.

Mrs. Foster has a horse named Royal Star.
What a prissy name.

Shelly writes a book about Midnight Ride and gives it to her mom.

Shelly got Midnight Ride when she was 6, and he died of colic when she was 10.
That really sucks.

Shelly: I don't want to live here anymore. I'm going to run away.
Anna: You can come to Wiggins with us if you want, but don't run away.
Whaaat? If you take her to Wiggins with you, you'll be HELPING her run away. SO CONFUSED.

Mrs. Foster promises to be less of a stiff.

Shelly: Is this what the Pony Pals do all the time?
Anna: Not ALL the time. But we trail ride a lot.
They also as participate in parades, man face-painting booths, catch hunters in the act, rescue hamsters, herd sheep, train ponies, find little girls and lost ponies, save ponies, tutor dyslexic girls, heal sick ponies, bargain with sellers, comfort dying ponies, tame wild ponies, join the circus, brave blizzards, give people makeovers, babysit, give blind ponies sight, manipulate and persuade, put out fires, adopt stray cats, take care of elderly ponies, help girls run away, build secret clubhouses, compete in horse shows, barrel race, watch bears, act in movies, find dogs, help birth foals, rescue abused animals, go back in time, communicate with animals, and help the environment.

Shelly's new friends Linda and Mary Ellen have ponies, too!
One is an Appaloosa named Smoothie, for his smooth gait (aaaaagh!).
Now they're all best friends and call themselves the Pony Pals, too.
Doesn't this happen in ALL Pony Pal books? They meet a new girl, make friends with her, convert her to their religion, and then send her home, where she creates her own three person Pony Cult. Creepy.

Only 3 Pony Pals books left: #37, #38, and Super Special #6.
Then it's all over.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

I avoid conflict, or Pony Pals Super Special #5: Pony Problem

I still don't get why Super Specials are so much specialer than the other books. The author runs out of plot after about 70 pages, and this book is 115 pages long.



Plot: Anna wakes up one morning to find Acorn missing - and Snow White hurt! It appears the ponies had a fight, resulting in Acorn's disappearance. They find him at Pam's house, but after that, the two ponies cannot seem to get along! Neither can their owners, for that matter; they both blame each other.
Pam, as you know, can "communicate" with animals, and uses this unique ability to find out what went wrong between the two pony friends. It turns out Acorn is a bit jealous of his friend Snow White, who is receiving lots of attention due to her new barrel racing tricks. Acorn feels a bit left out.
In turn, Snow White is too tired to play with her pony friend and wonders why he is being so "mean" to her.
Pam reveals this to her Pony Pals. They make up and spend the rest of the book planning for the Winter Fest, which goes amazingly well, and everyone is happy.

More notes:
Lulu writes a crappy poem:
Snow White in the moonlight
On a snowy night.
Everything is all right.

Anna thinks Acorn was stolen. After all, he starred in an ABC Family movie, and was in the circus once. Oh, and he played The Magic Pony in that play at the library.

She and Lulu go out looking for Acorn at 7:00 AM without telling their parents! How is it that they NEVER get in trouble??? I can't believe their parents are FINE with this.

Now they're sure someone stole Acorn because there are TRACKS in the PADDOCK! Hello, you guys go into the paddock ALL THE TIME.

Tommy's middle name should be "Trouble". How clever. :P

No duh, it was Anna's footprint.

There's a scene with Pam in the barn with Fat Cat. Fat Cat is depressed because someone put toilet paper in her bed, so now she can't sleep. I swear, if that's not foreshadowing, I don't know what is.

Lulu: Snow White has blood on her neck. Come, look.
Anna: She must have cut herself.
Snow White!!! Didn't I tell you to stay away from those razorblades!!!???

"She was a sweet gray Welsh two-year-old."
If you're talking about a pony (which they are), you wouldn't say it like that. It would be more like, "She was a sweet two-year-old gray Welsh pony," or something.

Agh, it's a misunderstanding. Lulu and Anna are convinced the other is mad at them. Spare me.

"Anna frowned. She hated it when Pam wasn't on her side."
And Pam sort of owes her, too, after the whole abused Cloud thing.

Ugh, Lulu's getting annoying. You know how she gets when she's worried about Snow White, right? THAT'S WHAT SHE'S DOING! "Oh no, it's been 5 minutes! I have to go check on Snow White!"

Anna: How do you know what she's thinking? She's probably thinking, "I wish I had bit Acorn harder."
LOL!!

Anna just feels like being mean. I hear you.

Pam thinks Charlie is bossy.
*cough cough* HYPOCRITE! *cough cough*

Whoa what happened to Charlie and Anna? I thought they were a couple!! I guess not. Charlie's obsessed with Lulu now, and totally ignores Anna when she shows him her drawings.

Wth?? What the heck is skijoring??

"Pam hated it when Charlie acted like he knew more about ponies than she did."
This is payback for all the times you made someone feel stupid because you had to know everything about ponies, Pam.

Omg, that's so awful! "Acorn is happy because Snow WHite isn't here, thought Anna. Snow White might have to move to Pam's. That's okay. The Crandals have plenty of room for another pony."
Whoa. Anna is way evil sometimes.

They're eating spaghetti.
For dinner.
AGAIN.

"What are you doing to Snow White?"
That sounds dirty....

Lulu is a way annoying.

Acorn is jealous. Why isn't Charlie paying attention to him? Why is Snow White learning new tricks? Why won't Snow White play with him?
Acorn needs therapy.

WHOA!
"'You'd be a good snowboarder, Pony Pest,' said Tommy. 'You got good balance."

Pam writes about a time when her mom's horse JB started eating wood, and he told her that he missed his goat friend Queenie.
Queenie? Wasn't that the name of the sheep in #12?

Whoa. Acorn's side of the story is my life.

Remind Acorn that he is special and everything will be all right.

Mwahaha. Anna thinks Snow White should move out. Because it's her backyard, and Snow White doesn't belong there.

Pam: I think Acorn and Snow White are still fighting because you are still fighting. Animals pick up on how people feel.
Lulu: But we're fighting because our ponies are fighting.
Pam: It's a vicious circle.
Lol. A vicious circle. It's a vicious "cycle", Pam.

The exterminator joke is getting old, Tommy.

Charlie sits next to Lulu...and Mike sits next to Anna. :O He's bisexual?
Ha ha, Pam has no one.

Charlie: What's wrong with those guys? Sometimes they're okay and sometimes they're sort of dumb.
Tee hee. Just like the Pony Pals!!

Charlie is starting to sound less like a cowboy and more like a Brit.
"I have an idea! It's positively brilliant!!"

Ha. Lulu got suckered into barrel racing.

Aagh.
Mr. Olson: Mr. Charlie can make you his special Mexican burritos.
What other kind of burritos would they be eating? French burritos?
Charlie: They're muy delicioso.
Someone's been watching Dora the Explorer recently!

The Pony Pals make a pony scrapbook.
"Mr. Olson came in to get a drink. The stories were so interesting he stayed to listen."
Oh, I highly doubt that.

All of these stories are basically about how amazing Snow White is. "I used to have no friends. Then I met Snow White." "We had a costume parade. Snow White went first because she's so beautiful." "I fell in a hole, but got out all right, because I'm snow White!"

I think one of the stories is from Super Special #4...WHICH I HAVEN'T READ YET!

I don't remember this lamb business. They say they rescued a baby lamb. When was this?

Pwned. They attack Charlie and snowball him. Literally. Lol.

Oh no! If Winter Fest is cancelled, what will Anna's mother do with all the brownies she baked?
Give them to the fatty Pony Pals, of course!

Apparently Tommy is a pro snowboarder.
Anna: At least he can do something right.
Noyce.

BFFs!! I swear, this is like the Bratz movie.

Racism runs rampant even among ponies, or Pony Pals #35: Magic Pony

I still love Pony Pals. 92 pages of bad writing and petty conflicts make my day. This particular book handles touchy topics like divorce, homosexuality, and racism in an ignorant and friendly manner.



Plot: There's a play in Wiggins! 10-12 year old boys and girls can try out for the parts of Joseph and Princess Kalandra in "The Magic Pony", a magical tale of friendship and healing. Also, because of the play's title, ponies can try out as well!
Anna wants Acorn to try out, but doesn't want to try out herself. The Pony Pals convince her otherwise. Surprisingly, Anna gets the part of Kalandra...but Acorn doesn't get a part at all! And Snow White didn't even try out, but the director requested her for the part...BECAUSE SHE'S WHITE!!!! White ponies are much more magical than bay ones, obviously.
Rema Baxter (who I thought was at boarding school) tried out as well, but is now Anna's understudy. The former-brat is being uncharacteristically nice to Anna and even invites the Pony Pals over for a sleepover!
However, all these distractions and disappointments are keeping Anna from memorizing her lines. Anna finally gives up and admits to her friends that Rema should be Kalandra instead. After harsh rebukes, Pam and Lulu tell Anna to keep trying and even help her memorize her lines. The other Pals also think Acorn should have the part of the Magic Pony instead of Snow White, who can't act at all.
They go to the director with this idea and he reluctantly agrees.
The Pony Pals band together and rebuke the devil, er, Rema, who quits the play.
But it doesn't matter. The play is a success. Now Anna has a new career in mind: acting. Oh dear. Hope you like starving to death.

More notes:
This one's not hardcover.

Only 10 to 12 year old boys and girls are allowed to try out. How agist.

Pam shows up with the poster and is like, "Let's ride to the brook and talk about it." Why can't you talk about it there??

Lulu, Lulu, Lulu. "I wonder what the Magic Pony is about." Well, it couldn't possibly be about a magic pony...

Anna doesn't want to try out; she's better at improvising than acting OTHER people's words.

Lame. Pam writes a scene for Anna to practice on to prove she can act. It's about a girl and her mother. Lulu gets to play the mother. Hysterical.

Ah, this scene sucks.
Girl: You told me I could have a pony when I was ten years old.
Mother: That's not what I said.
[OMG! This is like my life! Oggy was so old, and for years my mom kept saying, "Once we buy a house, we can buy a big dog." Then I repeated that back to her, and she's like, "I NEVER said that." Liar.]
Girl: You did, Mom. Honest. I have been waiting two whole years for a pony.
[Like when I waited 3 whole years to get a dog and they said they'd THINK ABOUT IT.]
Mother: I said we would think about getting you a pony when you were ten. I though about it. I have decided you cannot have a pony.
[OMG!!! PAM WROTE A STORY ABOUT MY LIFE!! PLAGIARISM! Dang, this mom's a drag.]
Girl: We have a big yard. I'll take care of my pony. You won't have to do anything. Please, Mom. I love ponies so much.
[You go, girl.]
Mother: Don't argue with me.
Girl: But you said-
Mother: (shouting) The answer is final! No pony.
[B****]
Girl: (crying softly) But you promised.

THE END
How depressing. I almost started crying. Anna DOES start crying.

I like how Anna's the only character that seems like a real person. She has poor parents AND dyslexia, but Pam is the best student in their class and Lulu has a perfect memory. I noticed the book didn't mention them being passive-agressive, controlling hos, but hey.

REMA BAXTER IS BACK!!! I though she was at boarding school, but I guess boarding schools let you take a break to try out in local plays.

Hahaha. This play is hilarious.
"Magic Pony takes place a long time ago in a faraway land. [Like Star Wars.] The main character is Princess Kalandra. The lovely Kalandra has a serious illness that will kill her. [Like in The Two Princesses of Bamarre.] Since early childhood, Kalandra has heard stories about a magical pony in the woods near the castle."
The Magic Pony has lived for hundreds of years and can heal terrible illnesses. How convenient.
"Kalandra dressed like an ordinary person and goes into the woods. She climbs into a tree house. From there she looks for the Magic Pony. [Yeah, that'll work. "Hm, I can't see the pony from the tree house. Must not be here."] Kalandra doesn't see the pony, but she does spot a young woodsman. This is Joseph, and Kalandra is in his tree house. Joseph and Kalandra meet and become friends. Kalandra doesn't tell Joseph that she is sick or that she is the princess. [Like "A Walk to Remember".] But she does tell him that she is searching for the pony. Joseph offers to help Kalandra find the Magic Pony."
Bla bla bla. There's more about the evil uncle Damien, who wants to drink the Magic Pony's blood. That's pretty graphic for a children's book.

William the director looks Irish. Pam is wearing really high-waisted pants WITH HER SHIRT TUCKED IN.

MIKE LACEY TRIES OUT FOR THE PLAY!!!! Wait, I thought he was in 8th grade. Doesn't that make him older than 12? And Rema was 14 in book #4. What happened there? Does she look 11?

Whoa. The director is also SIZEIST!!
Tongo is too small (oh, and he's also badly behaved).
Lightning is too big (oh, and she bites).

Of course Snow White is perfect. Because she's WHITE. He barely even looks at Acorn.

Rema straightened her hair. The look doesn't exactly work for her.

Dang, I hate Snow White.
Lol, on the cast poster they put, "THERE IS NO UNDERSTUDY FOR JOSEPH." Yes, we can see that. How unprofessional.

:O RACIST!!
Lulu: I think Acorn is a better actor.
William: Maybe you're right. But Snow White looks the part. We'll put some silver sparkles on that beautiful white coat. She'll glow in the dark woods behind the library. It will all be very magical.

Wow. This play is worse than "Eragon". "We will sell that pony's blood for gold, Joseph!"

Suddenly there's a Queen in this story?? So confused.

Anna: Rema is being nice to me. Really friendly.
Lulu: Don't trust her, Anna. She can be a real phony.
Anna: Sometimes people change.
Baby, seasons change, but people don't...and I'll always be waiting in the back room. ;)

Heh, there's a picture of Rema with her arm around Anna and Anna's all, "Get away."
I love Anna. She's boring, but overcompensates with headlines and flash, flash, flash photography. SORRY.
Rema is such a liar.

And William is such a perfectionist.
Anna: Magic Pony, where did you go?
William: Anna, the lines is, "Magic Pony, where are you?"

Rema tells Anna that if she reads her script a couple times, she'll remember all her lines. Liar.

And she invites the Pony Pals over for a sleepover??? "It'll be a lot of fun. We can play with your ponies, watch videos, and have pizza."

I bet a million bucks she'll poison the pizza. Or lure Anna into the back room and strangle her with a bridle.

If the Pony Pals really don't want to do something, they should not do it. But Pam and Lulu go to Rema's anyway.

Rema: Can I ride her bareback? I used to love to do that.
WAIT! In the play, Kalandra is supposed to ride the Magic Pony BAREBACK! SHE'S TRYING TO STEAL YOUR PART, ANNA!

Rema rents a video about Connemara ponies. In Ireland. (Duh, of course they're in Ireland; Connemaras are IRISH.) Okay, I like ponies, but these girls have to be interested in something else. Pony movies can be very boring. Especially "Black Beauty".

They make pizza themselves. Wow, is Wiggins to small for a Pizza Hut?

This girl is such a liar! Why do they believe her?
Rema: Next, let's play cards. You can choose the game.
Anna: Do you know how to play Hearts? That's my favorite card game.
Rema: Hearts is my favorite card game, too! Whenever I play it, I remember Lightning's upside-down heart.
Liar. Way to suck-up to Anna's friends. And who plays cards at a sleepover? Usually girls watch movies, listen to music, give each other makeovers (Thank God, I've only experienced this once), and gossip about other people.

Oh dear, Rema keeps them up past midnight!! THE HORROR! (Midnight? Please. Try 6 AM.)

Lulu: She invited us because she wanted to ride Snow White. If you get sick and can't be in the play, Rema would have your part. She'd be Kalandra and have to ride Snow White bareback.
Anna: But the videos and pizza and ice cream.
Uh oh. Anna is easily swayed by food...as am I.

Oh my goodness! Near the end of "Magic Pony" (the play), Damien beats Joseph!!! CHILD ABUSE!! This play's subject matter is a little disturbing. Little kids should not be reading this.

REMA HAS ALL KALANDRA'S LINES MEMORIZED!!! You're so blind, Anna.

Ew, Mike looks like a four-year-old boy.

Dang, this is community theater. Someone needs to tell William to lighten up.

Snow White was supposed to go to Anna when she gave the signal...but she goes to Rema instead. SOMETHING IS UP HERE!!!

Anna goes on a ride to blow off some steam.
*as she rides away*
Pam: Anna, stop!
Lulu: We should talk about what's bothering you!
What are you, psychiatrists? Some people need to be alone.

Lulu: We have a Pony Pal problem and we need three ideas.
Anna: Do you think that I'm a Pony Pal Problem?
Lol. Good answer.

Anna draws a hideous drawing of Rema, though it is quite lifelike.

Anna thinks she's dumb because she's dyslexic. :(

Hm, what a smashing idea, Pam. "Lulu and I should help Anna learn her lines."
Why couldn't you have done that in the first place?

Lulu: Snow White only got the part because she's white. She doesn't know any tricks or how to act.
LOL!! It's like they're not really talking about a pony. It's so true, though. Snow White doesn't have any useful talents.

Anna: I'll try your ideas, but if they don't work, I'm dropping out.
Of the play...or school?

"Magic Pony, I am very sick and will die son. I am too young to die. Will you save my life?"
That was beautiful. :P

TOMMY RAND RUNS ANNA OVER WITH HIS BIKE!! What's wrong with you, boy??? And he looks just like Mike? Thanks, Paul Bachem, you could make at least SOME distinction between the two.

Uh oh. Mike doesn't want Tommy to know he likes theater.
OMG!! MIKE LIKES THEATER!! I know that's a stereotype, but doesn't that prove he's gay?

Rema calls the play a kid's play once the Pony Pals uncover her deception. Ha.

They wonder who will play Joseph if Mike drops out. Um, why don't you have a GIRL play Joseph? Peter Pan was always a girl.

Oh dear. Mike needs to be more responsible and give his sister lunch. Otherwise she might STARVE.
Okay, come on. She's 6 YEARS OLD. I know 3 year olds that are capable of making sandwiches.

Ew, Acorn eats Rosalie's sandwich. That's DISGUSTING. Horses eat DIRT.

William doesn't even cal Snow White by her name. He just calls her "the white pony". I bet he calls Acorn "the black-and-brown pony". That's it, I'm calling the NAACP.

Tommy direspects William and William calls him a tough guy. This guy obviously does not have kids.

Mike wants to quit, but Rosalie tells him he can't...because his Dad is coming to see it.
:O Really? That would be so awful if she was making that up. But it's a Pony Pals book, so of course she isn't.

OMG!!! "Mike's father left his wife and kids to move to Chicago with a girlfriend."
What?? I thought they got divorced. He didn't do any leaving. How awful!!!

LOL.
Tommy: I'm not going to watch you in some kid's show.
Lulu: It's not just a kid's show, Tommy. It's family entertainment.

LOL. William gives Tommy a unicycle and convinces him to spread news about the play. Wow. I'd love to see that.

That's pretty much it.

I don't have any other books. Well, I have the last Balinor (XP) and two Avalons (XP) but I haven't read any of them. Tomorrow's my last day at home, anyway, and then I have to go back to school, so I'm going to rest up. I love four-day-weekends.

You are not allowed to feel anger towards a disabled person, or Pony Pals #32: He's My Pony!

The description of this book on krl.org is a little off:
A handicapped girl forms a special bond with a gentle horse.
They forgot to add: The horse's jealous owner throws a hissy fit. Horse isn't the right term, however. Acorn is a pony.



Plot: It's summer again and the Pony Pals are going to be in another parade, seeing as the townspeople can't get enough of them. Things don't remain perfect forever, though. Christine, Anna's neighbor's niece, is visiting her aunt and becomes good friends with the Pony Pals. She loves ponies, is a good artist, and has cerebral palsy, but is afraid of riding horses. Anna should be best friends with her, but Christine falls madly in love with Acorn, as young blonde girls are wont to do in this series, making Anna super jealous.
Then Christine asks if she could take riding lessons on Acorn, and the Pony Pals readily agree, kind of forgetting ANNA IS THE ONE WHO OWNS ACORN.
Then Christine thinks up an idea for the fair/parade: a face painting booth! She starts practicing on local children and her ideas are SOOO much better than Anna's! Anna gets jealous and runs away one Acorn, even though she is worried that he might like Christine more than he likes her.
The Pony Pals come after her and convince her that Acorn loves her, bla bla bla, and then tell her that Christine's "great" ideas came from a book! Anna apologizes to Christine and the other girl accepts. They continue her lessons on Acorn.
Anna comes up with a great nonselfish idea: why not let Christine display her new riding talents in the parade...on Acorn?? She has Mike Lacey help her out, and Christine rides in the parade. Yay.

More notes:
I seriously marked like every page in this book. There's 90 PAGES!

OMG, JUST SAY BAY!!! It's always "brown-and-black", "brown-and-black". DUDE! HE'S BAY!

Dang, Christine is a really good artist. Compared to Anna, anyway.

Christine isn't all awkward about her disability and she's really nice. I like her.

The phrase "smacked her lips" always throws me off. I don't really get it.

AGH I hate people who are all, "Oh, she's disabled, she probably couldn't do that," and it's something like playing tag.

Pam: Anna's mother owns Off-Main Diner. It's the best diner in town.
Anna: It's the only diner in town.
Finally. Those girls needed a reality check.

Mrs. Crandal: I'll bring Daisy out.
Pam: Daisy is my mother's best school pony for beginners.
Daisy is your mother's only pony.

Pam: When a pony or horse is blond, it's called a palomino.
Anna: A Pony Pal palomino.
Laaame.

Daisy attacks Christine. Way to go.

The picture is so stupid. Daisy is humongous, Christine is floating in mid air, and Anna looks shocked like she should help her, but it is looking at something off to the side. Look up in the sky, it's a bird! It's a plane! It's Christine being attacked by a crazy Shetland pony, Anna! Get with the program!

Quizzes and guessing games are completely different things.

Oh no, Acorn did a trick for Christine without Anna's signal!

Paul Bachem's pictures look like crap, as usual.

Pam: My mother will put a special girth on Acorn. It has handles.
Yes, Pam. It's called a surcingle. If you were really such a horse expert, you'd know that.

Acorn does a new trick for Christine! Oooowned!

Anna is REALLY jealous, so she's like, "Acorn, get away from Christine. It's time for your, um, bath."

Jack and Jill are 6 again.

Whoa, the twins start talking to Christine about her walker and how beautiful it is.

Mike: Hi.
Anna: What are you doing here?
Mike: I was trying to catch up with you. And I did. I could have beaten you.
What is with boys and their competitiveness?

There's a picture of Rosalie running up to Anna WITH BROWN HAIR (she's so blonde!!), and all the Pony Pals look shocked/disgusted. ??? I thought they loved little kids?

Aw, Anna feels inferior. This is way depressing.

Mrs. Crandal: Okay. Acorn won't move until you tell him to.
Christine: How do I tell him?
Mrs. Crandal: Sit tall, make a clicking sound, and say, 'Move on.'
Squeezing lightly with your knees works, too.

They're supposed to be riding in a circle, but Christine is riding on the inside and Lulu and Pam keep passing her. So much for riding safety.

"I wish Christinewasn't here. I wish we were just the Pony Pals."
Doesn't Anna feel this anytime someone infiltrates their little group/joins their cult?

HOLY CRAP. Enough with the BROWNIES.

Anna is mean to Pam. I don't like Pam, so I'm not exactly objecting.

Okay, Christine's designs are really hideous. Her clown face is more of a drag queen.

Yeah, running out of the diner and riding away will give you the melodramatic edge you're going for, Anna.

Mike Lacey just randomly starts following her.

WHOA: Anna admits she's a horrible, selfish person. Whaaaaat? No way! Pam never admits she's wrong until someone else apologizes; Lulu is never wrong (in her own mind); but Anna's like, "Yeah, I suck." Go Anna!

Anna: Mike saw me crying. He better not tell Tommy.
Like he would.... "Dude, I totally saw that Anna girl crying!" "Aw, sweet, man! High five! Let's go pester her!" "Right on!"

Anna: Acorn likes Chris better than me.
Lulu: No, he doesn't. Acorn is friendly. That's the kind of pony he is.
That's the response jealous girlfriends get, too.

Oh, it turns out Christine is just a little plagiarist! Actually, not really. That's what face painting books are for.

Anna decides to apologize on her own! Woo!

Christine apologizes for keeping the book a secret. She thought maybe her ideas wouldn't be as good as Anna's. Are you kidding? Have you SEEN Anna's drawings?

"Christine drew a face. Anna painted the black parts of the vampire face. Christine did the red parts. She liked painting blood."
That sounds kind of creepy.

They have a drag queen clown, a passable lion, and a hippie child? The conservative parents of Wiggins would never go for that!

They draw something that looks like a monkey, but I think it's supposed to be a dragon.

No ways, Mike helps Anna out! He gets the surcingle for her so it's ready for the parade. Aww, I love Mike.

Anna: *face painting* Now you are a perfect rainbow.
Little boy: Wow! I'm never going to wash my face again!
You're a boy, so you probably never will.

Aw, Acorn does the tricks for Anna without a signal at the very end. How sweet.

I sort of liked that one. Not really. BEST MADDIE FINN EVER! CAN'T WAIT!

Someone's lost in the woods...again, or Pony Pals #29: Lost and Found Pony

Why this picture is so huge, I have no idea.
Surprisingly, this is probably one of the best Pony Pals books I've ever read. It's not good or fun to read or exciting...but I didn't find anything to complain about for about...15 pages!!!



Plot: Mimi and Rosalie are annoying little tricksters; we all know that. One day, however, they go too far.
It starts when Rosalie catches the Pony Pals getting ready to go for a trail ride (they're neighbors, remember?), and runs and tells Mimi, who wants to come. Since Rosalie is a pushover and does everything Mimi says, she runs back and relays this message to the Pony Pals.
Remember, this book is about Anna, and Anna doesn't do that well with little kids, so she says yes, of course, but tells Rosalie that she and Mimi can NOT join them on the picnic.
So Rosalie goes and tells Mimi.
Who tells Mrs. Bell (the dimwitted babysitter) that the Pony Pals would love to take them on a picnic.
Mrs. Bell is overjoyed that Mimi has friends (ha) and packs a big picnic basket.
Lulu and Pam are a little POed.
All during the trail ride, Rosalie and Mimi are messing around on Tongo and being pests (yelling, screaming, existing, and talking to each other on walkie-talkies even when they are four feet away from each other). They even pretend to be lost in the woods! This is enough for the Pony Pals, so Anna tells them the story of the The Boy Who Cried Wolf, and the little kids don't get it. Now Anna is POed.
Suddenly, a storm starts and Tongo runs away. Then the brats call on the walkie-talkie and say that they ran into a cave and don't know where they are. The Pony Pals think they're getting tricked again, so they ignore them, until the girls start crying and insisting they're "not like the shepherd boy". All right then. So starts a quest to save the midgets.
Questing, questing, Acorn finds clues, Acorn runs away, Acorn finds Tongo, the girls find the cave, bla bla bla.
So at the cave, Anna insists on going in and finding the little girls. She goes in, gets them, they are safe, and neither Mimi nor Rosalie have rabies. And all is well.

More notes:
Rosalie has brown hair all of a sudden. Who lets a six-year-old dye their hair?

Aargh, it's like a Verizon commercial. "Can you hear me now? Good."

I don't find it strange that Mrs. Lacey won't buy Rosalie a pony when they're DIRT POOR AND LIVE IN AN APARTMENT!!!

Mrs. Bell is so gullible. She should NOT be babysitting those children.

Anna: Oh, I don't think they'll be mad.
Ha. I've spent enough time with Pam and Lulu to know that they WILL be mad.

Ha. Pam knows Mimi is full of crap.

Yeah, that's smart, Mimi. "I can ride with one hand!!"

Tongo bolts. Ha.

Anna flips out at Mimi. Lol.
Mimi: Where's my walkie-talkie?
Anna: Your walkie-talkie? You almost got killed. You have to hold on with two hands when you ride. Always.
Mimi: That was fun. It was a Pony Pal adventure.
I seriously think I would have slapped her by this time. Seriously. This girl is such a PILL.

Ha. Anna threatens to take her back home to get her to shut up.

Tongo is the lamest pony ever. He's scared of WATER.

Mimi and Rosalie have a walkie-talkie conversation. They're sitting a few feet away from each other the entire time. Yeah, they're six, all right.

ROSALIE STILL HAS BROWN HAIR! AND ALL THE PONIES LOOK LIKE CAMARGUES: ALL THE SAME!!!

Ew, and Rosalie has gross bangs.

Mimi: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Anna: To get to the other side.
Mimi: Wrong! The chicken crossed the road to see her friend.
Anna: Very funny.
Lulu: Very silly.
And Lulu is definitely an only child.

Omg, Rosalie and Mimi are joking about getting attacked by a bear. Mike is most likely not in Boy Scouts.

Ugh, Anna's going to tell them a parable to make them change their mind. IT WON'T WORK.

Great. Mimi justifies lying as "joking".

And now they're being attacked by a wolf.

Mimi: Ugh, they're so bossy.
Ha! Said Mimi.

Wait, Lulu is allowed to go off into the woods by herself, and the little kids aren't??? "DON'T GO OFF BY YOURSELF!" Yeah, right.

Anna lies about Tongo being missing. Oh, but she was just "joking".

Paul Bachem's drawings of Tongo always suck, but his Acorns in this book are really good.

Hmmm...Acorn is Anna's "wonderful pony hero".

You see how short that was!!!?? It must have been good. Coming up soon: Avalon #2: All That Glitters (probably my favorite book in the series, which means it's probably awful).
Some more chicken jokes that are funnier than Mimi's.

You can be my movie star for a day, or Pony Pals #26: Movie Star Pony

I really dislike Pony Pals. Just horrible writing, and bad illustrations, and cliches, and LIES LIES LIES. But in this one, my new best friend (Anna) stood up to some loser who was pressuring her and the illustrations were really good.



Okay, the illustrations might be good, but this cover illustrations sucks. Acorn looks like a small bear, and ponies do NOT smile.
Plot: Yay, a movie is being filmed in Wiggins! Better yet, there will be scenes filmed at Ms. Wiggins estate, the Off-Main Diner, and Mrs. Crandall's riding school! Bette Fleming, a famous 11-year-old actress, is starring in it, but doesn't get along with her pony costar. When she meets Acorn, however, she falls in love with him and insists upon starring with him in the film (entitled "Megan's Last Ride"). Anna is reluctant, but the stupid Pony Pals convince her to say yes, because of MONEY. What ever happened to good morals?
Shockingly enough, Bette is a huge brat, and spends all her time with Acorn. The director, bending to the will of Bette, tells Anna she can't see Acorn until they're done filming. By that time, Acorn doesn't seem to like Anna anymore, and Bette wants to BUY Acorn of all things! Anna is heartbroken. She doesn't want to sell her pony, but she doesn't want to keep him if he likes Bette more than her.
The Pony Pals actually give her some good advice and tell her that Acorn still loves her, so Anna, being fed up with Bette, tells off the spoiled brat and refuses to ever sell Acorn. But later, she feels bad for her outburst and invites Bette on one last trail ride. Halfway through the trail ride, Acorn starts acting oddly and keeps nudging Daisy, Anna's replacement pony. Seems he's JEALOUS!! Guess he still loves Anna. Bette is still a brat, but learns that she can't always get her way. Then she stars in several porn videos and dies of an overdose like all child stars. The End.

More notes:
A "movie company"? I'm not sure of the right terminology, but that doesn't seem right.

Bette Fleming is like the B-list version of Dakota Fanning.

Thanks for spoiling the end of "The Rainbow Kid" for us, Anna.

Gee, the movie is called "Megan's Last Ride". I wonder what if could be about... I mean, it can't be about a girl named Megan who's taking a last ride on her pony; that's just out of the question.

Wow, these illustrations are REALLY GOOD. Better than Vivien Kubbos. Well, the ponies are amazing. And the people are good, but Pam has bangs and Lulu's hair is light brown?

What? Ms. Wiggins gets to eat for free, too???

A very magestic drawing of Lightning, Acorn actually looks the proper size, and Snow White is pretty for a change and not all haggard. Um, Anna is turning around in the saddle to smile at Lulu. BAD RIDING SAFETY! I so remember her lecturing Rosalie about this.

More continuity errors about the death of Mrs. Sanders.

This sounds like the worst movie ever.
"'Bette Fleming plays Megan Ritter,' began Ms. Cross. 'Her family owns a big farm. At the beginning of the story they are having money problems. Then a freak summer hailstorm destroys their apple crop. After that, they know they will have to sell the farm adn move to the city for jobs.'"
Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!! Sounds like "Where the Red Fern Grows" gone wrong.
Oh, Megan and Mars understand each other and have a SPECIAL PSYCHIC CONNECTION, to which Anna can relate? WTH???
Oh, they have to sell Mars. Boo hoo. Now they move to the city. BUT SUDDENLY MEGAN GETS SICK!! Mars senses something is wrong and travels 100 miles to find Megan. When he does, her parents decide to buy him again! And board him at a stable near the house! WTH??? WHY DIDN'T THEY DO THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE??? AND AREN'T THEY GOING THROUGH MONEY PROBLEMS??? I swear, this is either a TV movie or a straight-to-DVD release, cuz it sounds low budget and AWFUL. Worse than "The Derby Stallion".

Can't they meet a nice girl who doesn't like ponies and isn't snobby or shy?

Jeanne Betancourt is STILL condoning spying.

"If Bette can't ride, thought Anna, how can she be in a big movie about a girl and her pony?"
Um, duh. Stunt man.

I like how a person's riding abilities determine their personality.

I only found ONE awful picture, and it's of Bette riding. She looks possessed, and her posture is bad, and Acorn looks like a bush.

WHY DO THEY ALWAYS HAVE TO MENTION ACORN'S STUPID STINT IN THE CIRCUS!!??

WHY DOES SHE NEED TO DISCUSS THIS WITH HER PONY PALS? Will they SHUN her if she doesn't run it by them? This DEFINITELY sounds like cult behavior.

NO, ANNA, NO! If your gut says no, DON'T DO IT.

Too late.

So mean. Bette tells Anna that she can't see Acorn for 2 weeks, and the adults are COOL WITH IT. She's 11 FREAKING YEARS OLD! DISCIPLINE HER!!

She hasn't seen Acorn in 9 days. What the heck. I would go insane.

Yay, because watching a scene from a movie being shot through cracks in a wood floor is just as good as being there!

Daisy again! Agh!!

Um, what? Someone sends roses to Anna, and somehow know that she's at the Off-Main Diner. HOW????

Lulu is an IDIOT.

Pam looks like Tempestt Bledsoe.

Pam is so gullible. And she's like, "You shouldn't judge people just from one meeting." Right. Because you NEVER do that, Pam.

Duh. Ponies can't act.

This is definitely a TV movie. "I love you. And I'll never forget you. I don't want to leave you. I want to stay with you forever. You're my best friend." That's like a line from "Your Guardian Angel".

Acorn looks like a donkey.

Mmm, cupcakes.

They finished filming in two weeks????? Definitely TV movie.

Wth, Anna writes Pam and Lulu a note, and she decides to write it using pictures. Wouldn't that take longer? And I can't understand it. One of the pictures looks like a black guy or a piece of broccoli. I can't tell.

Anna does NOT want Bette to ride Acorn. So she lets her ride Acorn. :P

Mrs. Fleming is such a blonde. I would SLAP HER. Listen to her reasoning.
"Bette and Acorn have such a special relationship. So I'll pay a lot of money for him. That way you can buy another pony - a very special pony. Or maybe horse. Wouldn't that be exciting?" Because animals are so easy to replace. B****.

The sentence "Lulu put an arm around Anna's shoulder." appears in this book SO MANY TIMES.

PONIES CAN'T ACT!!

Dang, Rachel Tonkin is the best illustrator yet.

Bette: When Acorn is mine, I'll tell the whole world. His picture would be in the paper with me all the time.
Anna: Acorn is my pony. I won't sell him for any price. That's what I came to tell you.
Bette: But I love Acorn.
Anna: So do I!
Bette: I want Acorn! You HAVE to sell him to me!
Anna: No, I don't!
Bette: Then can I have one last ride on Acorn? Just one.
Anna: NO!

Okay, that was way immature and fourth grade-y, but I'm glad that Anna at least stood up for herself.

I hate it when people say, "It's up to you." What they really mean is, "I want you to choose my idea and I'll guilt you forever if you decide otherwise."

Ha. Anna understands people now. My baby's growing up.

Wth? Lulu is supposed to be riding Snow White, but the pony in the picture is dark. ????

Anna is my new best friend.

Agh, I don't think I'm getting another Pony Pals OR another Madison Finn for a while. I could read #28, or start on the Avalon/Unicorns of Balinor series. I think I'll do the latter. Yay.

Jambo the tiger is my best friend, or Pony Pals #11: Circus Pony

The wait is over. That is so a Disciple song.... But yeah. I finally have "Circus Pony"!!!
Yeah. I think I like Anna best now. She is making the most sense and seems semi-believable. But this one wasn't so exciting. Even for a circus.



Plot: The circus has come to Wiggins! Yay! Yay! The Pony Pals get passes to explore the grounds two days before the circus starts. Anna meets a girl named Crystal, who rides elephants. Crystal really likes Acorn and suggests he takes the place of Jumper, the regular circus pony, until he recovers. Anna is so excited and agrees to it.
Yay Acorn is fabulous. Everyone likes Acorn. Crystal suggests that Anna stay with circus...permanently. But the Pony Pals don't want Anna to leave and try to guilt her into staying. They also call her selfish. But Anna manages to convince her parents (that's what's implied, but I don't believe it), and the Pony Pals "help her out".
But on the last day the circus performs, Acorn runs away! Anna tries to find him. Turns out he ran away to be with Snow White! Oh no! Acorn would miss Snow White if he moved away! Yay. Anna decides to stay. :P

More notes:
"Acorn, do you love me?" I was totally waiting for him to say no.

Aaaah, Paul Bachem. He's still illustrating in this book.

I love circuses. Ballin. Ugh, I remember that one I went to that had NO ANIMALS. It sucked.

Jumping on a trampoline is not talent.

Lulu, always rationalizing for breaking the law.

I think Jeanne Betancourt just used an exclamation point.

Ew, since when is grass sweet?

What kind of name is "The Yellow Tent Circus"?

The liberty horses have weird bangs.

Ugh, Elly is a lame name for an elephant.

The Pony Pals need to start paying for their own food. Crystal gets them stuff for free. :P

Aaaagh, she tries to imitate a non-English speaker. "I learn some English."

Isn't Ida a boy's name?

WHY WOULD YOU SAY BLONDE-HAIRED??? If you said blonde, it would still make sense.

Waaaaaait. Isn't Jumper the name of Acorn's dad??? I THINK IT IS!! That's kind of freaky.

Elly isn't that much bigger than Acorn? What?

Doesn't Anna always wake up early and beat Lulu?

Yeah, I'm with Anna. I'd rather be at the circus than shop for school supplies.

It's like everyone's from England.

Ha. Acorn is scared of clowns.

Anna looks better as a clown than she does any other time. Wow.

Lulu and Pam are all psyched about some nifty notebooks with a pocket section!!! Nerds.

They almost start a debate about how celebrities wish they could be normal and normal people want to be famous.... :P

Ew, they start joking about Fat Cat the Flying Circus Cat. ???

Anna's mom makes her special clown pancakes with a fruit smiley face. Psh. Forget fruit. Bring on the ice cream and chocolate chips.

Omg, Anna ditches the Pony Pals!!! :O She's actually becoming independent it seems.

Acorn is way too huge to be a Shetland.

I want to ride an elephant really bad.

Don't circuses have programs? Why do they have to announce Anna and Acorn? It would be in the program, wouldn't it. Also, their intro sounds way choppy:
"The Yellow Tent Circus proudly presents its clowns. They are joined tonight by a Wiggins resident, Anna Harley. She's here with her pony Acorn." Those last two sentences could've been combined.

How does one become a professional clown, Pam? I mean, all there is to do is act like an idiot and have bad makeup.

THAT SO REMINDS ME OF "SHE'S ALL THAT"!! Lol, bathroom scene.

Since when does Anna have a brother???? This is like the first time he's mentioned EVER. Oh wait, never mind, he was mentioned once before in #2, but COME ON. He says, "Not bad," and then he's never heard from again. I think he and Melissa/Tawny/whatever her name was died in a random shooting event.

This is the 3rd chapter to have ended with the word "circus" and an exclamation point.

I really doubt that Anna's parents will let her be in the circus. Just saying.

Rosalie lives by Acorn? Doesn't she live in an apartment on the other side of town? WHY DO THEY KEEP SWITCHING THINGS AROUND??? CONTINUITY! CONTINUITY!

Dang, this is like when I tell people I'm leaving Washington. Pam is all, "WTH???" and Lulu pouts.

The Amazing Flying Frenzies sounds a lot like Family Force 5. Can't kick the habit, I've got to have it, I'm what they call a LOVE addict, LOVE addict.

Anna totally quotes "Dragon Tales". I wish with all my heart that my parents will let me join the circus.

Stupid Snow White again. I hate her so much. Get her a new stablemate.

Snow White ran away because she missed Acorn. They need to get a better fence.

OMG! They blame Snow White's running away on ANNA. "She could have been hurt or killed." Unfortunately, she WASN'T.

Shut up, Pam. No one likes you anyways.

Wth, Anna suggests that Snow White get a new stablemate.
Anna: Snow White will like a new pony as much as she likes Acorn.
Pam: That's a terrible thing to say, Anna.
Anna: Why? [My question exactly.] Everyone knows that a pony can get used to a new stablemate. Look how fast Acorn got used to the liberty horses.
Lulu: But Acorn and Snow White are best friends.
Pam: And we're supposed to be best friends.
OMG! They then call her selfish, that she obviously doesn't care about THEIR feelings. Yeah, hypocrites much?

And Anna calls them out on it!!!!!!! You go.

And then she runs out crying.

Aaaagh, there's a picture of Mr. Landel, and he looks like a round-faced version of my dad. But his wardrobe, hair, and glasses are exactly the same.

Crystal thinks Pam and Lulu are lame, too.

Elly is such a midget. Elephants and shetland ponies are NOT the same size!!

Lame. Pam and Lulu basically tell Anna they'll miss Acorn more than her.

Anna, your parents are JOKING! They're not ACTUALLY thinking of letting you join the circus!!!

The Pony Pals are sticking up for her all of a sudden. I hate them so much.

AAAAAAAARGH! LOOK AT THIS SENTENCE:
In the distance Anna saw three ponies grazing. Lightning, Snow White, and Acorn.
WHERE'S THE COLON???

Retarded. She decides not to join the circus. Although I don't think her parents would've said yes anyway.

But she says she'll do it when she's older. Good luck with that.

:P That was stupid. But "Unlucky Pony" is next!!! Yay! Lucky is back!

Open season, or Pony Pals #23: The Pony and the Bear

Sounds like a Northwest version of "The Lion and the Unicorn". Yeah. This was another book that didn't quite make sense. Really, though. If your campsite was being attacked by a bear, wouldn't you want it leave without killing anyone???
Don't know. Who else is glad it's Friday? *just waiting for my picture to load*
Does anyone else think it's weird that I'm already at #23 and I haven't even done #11 yet? Well, I guess you wouldn't. I'm just annoyed. I hate that stupid little kid. And "The Unlucky Pony" isn't coming any time soon. And I ordered "The Lonely Pony", but it's also delayed.
This is ridiculous. Lol, I'm listening to my secrety secret CD again. I love this song. It's so sweet. And I have a potential music video idea for it, but it's kind of creeping me out. Why does the girl in the song sound so much like me???



Plot: This plot isn't really about bears at all, but mostly about Charlie.
Y'all remember Charlie, right? Stereotypical western boy from Wyoming? With the pony named Moondance? Anna used to be quite enamored with him, if I'm not mistaken, and Lulu hated him. But now Lulu is in love with Charlie and Anna wishes he would just go away.
She manages to convince him to hang out with Tommy and Mike. Charlie thinks they are really cool and calls Tommy "Tom" all the time. They do guy things together. Lulu and Pam are heartbroken.
YAY, MR. SANDERS IS BACK FROM CANADA!!! He tells the girls all about watching black bears, and grizzly bears, and gummy bears. Pam and Lulu get way psyched and plan a 24 hour nature watch in the woods. Maybe they'll see a bear! Then they can write an article about it for a teen magazine! Anna thinks the whole thing sounds stupid, but you know, she has nothing else to do....
On the nature watch, all the Pony Pals do is sit, watch endless squirrels run up and down the many trees, eat candy, and sleep. Oh, and Tommy, Mike, and Charlie play a prank on them, but they don't see any bears.
Finally, when its Anna's turn to watch, she sees a bear!!! It rips her backpack apart and eats all her candy. Anna doesn't want it to go away, so she begs the ponies to stay silent. She then draws the bear and observes it for a long time until Snow White scares it away. Thanks a lot, wimpy.
Anna tells Lulu and Pam what she saw and they are way jealous. The next morning, they plan to go follow the bear...when Charlie comes bearing gifts. He tells the girls that Tommy and Mike are lame. This seems like an adequate apology, so they go looking for the bear together. It's way exciting.
Oh no, a final showdown with Tommy and Mike. But Charlie pwns Tommy. It's all good.

More notes:
They describe Acorn as brown. Brown and bay = not the same.


Some random woman stops Pam and tells her how much she's grown. ??? Who is this woman and why don't they know her?? Don't they know everyone in Wiggins?

"Remember when Snow White and Moondance didn't get along?" Yeah, wasn't that...yesterday?

Charlie wants to give up Moondance? That's kind of lame. Lulu looks like she's sitting in Charlie's lap. And Charlie looks way 50's, just like Tommy and Mike. Yeah, now they can be Tom, Dick, and Harry together!

What happened? Charlie's all annoying now. He's talking about BIG trail rides in the west that lasted 3 DAYS!!!! Shut up.

OMG, Charlie whistled at Tommy. Or at his bike. Whatever.

Lulu doesn't catch on very quick. Anna wants to get rid of Charlie. Pam gets it. Go Pam.

Ew, Charlie calls Tommy "Tom". My uncle's name is Tom.

Whoa. Anna feels inferior to Pam and Lulu. She actually seems human in this one.

Remember when Mr. Sanders used to look like George Lopez? Now he looks like Ronald Reagan. Soooo Vivien Kubbos is Republican?

He spent a week in the woods of north-eastern Canada. He's calling his article "A week in the wood of north-eastern Canada." How nice.

Anna and I both think this nature study idea is lame.

Lulu: *trying to dissuade Charlie from hanging out with Tommy and Mike* Those guys are mean to us.
Pam: And they don't know anything about horses.
Lulu: They're always bothering us.
I love how not knowing anything about horses makes you an awful person. And I love how Anna isn't saying anything, just thinking, "LEAVE, PLEASE LEAVE!"

Heh. She told Charlie to shut up about the wild, wild west.

HA! I knew making campfires wasn't illegal! Losers.

Uh oh, editors. The name of Charlie's pony is Moondance, isn't it? Why'd you let Moonstone slip in there?

Maybe he likes Tommy and Mike because they're NORMAL and not always talking about horses.

Or because he's a boy and wants to hang with boys his own age....

ENOUGH ABOUT THE BROWNIES! THEY'RE DELICIOUS! WE UNDERSTAND!

Who says big is better? Um, me? WOO-HOO, 5'8"!!

Wth? If you want to stay awake, there's CAFFEINE! I really doubt orange juice and trail mix are going to help as much as a nice can of Monster. Which I personally think tastes disgusting.

Omg, Anna, such a cool character now!!!

Now they're saying "scat" instead of "poop". AAARGH!

Pam and Lulu are such nerds.

That's right, bears DON'T giggle. Must be something else.

Really, how can you describe male teenage laughter as giggling??? BOYS DON'T GIGGLE! Unless they're like 5.

"Lulu and Pam, this is NOT funny! You scared the ponies!" Whatever, Anna. You know you were scared, too. The dark stain on your pants is proof.

Omg, Jeanne Betancourt used an exclamation point!

LOL! "It looks like bicycle tracks." "From a mountain bike. A wild animal was here all right. A wild animal with the initials T. R." OMG! Sorry, dirty mind buzzing here. Oh, Tommy, you wild, wild animal. Rowr. And I totally think there should be a comma after "here".

Whatever the Pony Pals grow up to be, they should NOT become actresses.

Holy crap. They see two rabbits, ten squirrels, some turkey feathers, and deer poop. I think you're lying. I spent 2 hours in the woods and only saw 1 squirrel. And I don't think poop and feathers count as animals.

"Tommy and his gang." Two people is not a gang, and Tommy is so not the mafia boss. Mike's just a wimpy pants.

Why are they not creeped out about bats flying in their hair?

WTH???? I way don't think there are flying squirrels in Conecticutt.

Anna mispells owl "awl". LAME. Like that one stupid kid in preschool who had a southern accent, red hair, and thought orange was spelled with an a. And then he blamed me for throwing the milk. And he stole my bff. Jerk. I think his name was Christopher. I really want him to know how much he influenced my life. Wonder if he's still in Japan.

Um, dur, drink caffeine. Orange juice and chocolate chip cookies don't work nearly as well.

WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANT A BEAR TO LEAVE? It rips apart her backpack, and she's not scared at all; she just wants the bear to stay still so she can draw and observe it. DUMB!!

I HATE Snow White SO MUCH. Apparently she gets really sick in "The Lonely Pony", sick to the point of death. BUT SHE DOESN'T DIE! Aaargh, I was on Amazon, and someone spoiled the whole book for me. But it's about Tongo being a jerk pants. I swear, Mimi ruined him. But anyways.

I don't think "clacked his teeth" is a good description of a bear about to attack you. That makes him sound like a first grader with ADHD. At the dentist. On caffeine.

Shut up, Pam. She saw the black bear and you didn't. And she almost got attacked. So don't tell her, "You should've taken a photo." Because that wouldn't have made him any madder.

They're always going on about evidence.

Pam is such a condescending loser. "I'll stay with you Anna, because I know you're afraid." WHAT???? Leave her alone. I know you would've peed your pants.

Lulu, all about schedules. She should just go live in the woods forever. And take Snow White with her.

Yes, you should name your backpack "The Bear", Anna. :P

Anna is totally playing up the "bear attack" thing. It's kind of funny, to see her all conniving and making her Pony Pals feel bad. I swear, it's as if she has a soul in this one. I love how I don't find this funny when she's NOT the main character. So I'm a hypocrite. I would make a GREAT Pony Pal.

Ugh, they're talking about Charlie and the other boys like they're in a freaking war.

I wish Snow White HAD run away. Then she's stop bothering everybody. And stop getting sick.

I swear, all three ponies have a problem.
Snow White: Always getting SICK
Acorn: Always wants to be the center of attention, causing people to fall in love with him and make Anna all mad
Lightning: Every 28 days, she goes crazy and attacks random people (or mostly Pam).

Omg, Charlie brings them donuts. He's good...very good....

They should just call them Tommy Rat and Mike Lousy from now on. That cracks me up.

Ew, sugar and jelly donuts. You are not my favorite, anymore, Charlie. Next time, get your head on straight and pick up chocolate donuts.

There's a picture of Moondance. He's nothing special. Just another generic pony.

Quit talking about that stupid grizzly bear!!!

Retarded. He thinks they gave the bear candy.

Pam and Lulu act like they saw the bear, too. I hate them. Especially Pam in this one.

The drawings Anna did of the bear are...um...special. Charlie's all, "These drawings are great. I could never do that." I'm an awful artist, and I draw better bears than Anna. I bet I could make some pretty sweet macaroni art, too.

If Anna doesn't want to hang out with Charlie, she could just leave.... Just be all, actually, I really don't like you.

They find a silver wrapper in a piece of bear poop. Lulu thinks it's an earring.

Omg, Anna is totally calling Mike out. And he's TAKING IT!!!

Lame. Mike is afraid of bears.

ROFL!!!
Lulu: We're going to do an article for one of the nature magazines my father writes for. (her father writes for a nature magazine???)
Mike: How can YOU write an article? You're only like ten years old. (that's what I want to know)
Pam: It's from a kid's point of view. (duh) Not many ten-year-olds do twenty-four-hour nature watches.
Tommy: Who'd want to? It's a dumb thing to do. (YESSSS! Told you. Nerds.)

I would NOT publish Anna's drawings in my newspaper.

Wth? Mike and Tommy are going to go visit a boy named Joe because he has cool videos. What kind of videos? Music videos? Disney videos? Home videos?

Lame, Tommy calls himself dumb.

CHARLIE TAKES ON TOMMY! THAT'S AS CLOSE TO A FIGHT AS WE'RE EVER GOING TO GET!!! THIS IS SO EXCITING!

Wait, Charlie described as way shorter and smaller than Tommy. Um, isn't Tommy way skinny? He is in every picture, anyways. Is Charlie an anorexic midget?

Mike is not afraid of Tommy. He just hangs out with him because he's the only 14-year-old boy in the town, apparently.

Lame. Charlie chooses the Pony Pals because he's interested in bears. Now they're going to think you're gay.

I hate how like every book ends with, "(pony's name), you're the best," when all the pony did was exist and transport you from place to place. These books are barely even about ponies anymore.
The library doesn't want me to be happy, so they aren't giving me "Circus Pony" and "The Unlucky Pony", and they refuse to order "The Lonely Pony", so I don't know when I'll post again. Maybe I'll dig out my ancient Pony Pals: 15 years later and read it.

Thou shalt not steal, or Pony Pals #20: Stolen Ponies

I do not understand this book. If someone steals your property, the "right thing" to do would be do turn them in, right?? Aaargh.



Plot: The Pony Pals have a secret hideout. It's just so secretly secret that no one will find it.
While hanging out at the Pony Pal Lodge (their lame name for their secrety secret hideout), they see a campfire left burning in the woods. *gasp* FOREST FIRES! They put it out, and are proud of themselves for saving the whole woods.
This happens repeatedly throughout the book.
After much investigation, the Pony Pals discover it was Tommy and Mike who were starting the fires! *gasp* THAT'S ILLEGAL! (didn't know that little tidbit....) They write Tommy and Mike aa anonymous threatening letter that warns them to never light another fire ever again.
But Tommy and Mike figure out it's them and set their secrety secret hideout on fire.
And then THEY STEAL THEIR PONIES!!!
This has gone a little too far, it seems.
It's raining and the brook is overflowing, but the Pony Pals go looking for their ponies anyways. Anna then sees them on the other side of the river/brook/stream and distracts Tommy and Mike while Lulu and Pam save the day. Pam wants to call the police, but Anna and Lulu convince her this is the wrong way to go. After all, they've only broken two laws and destroyed their property. Jail is not where these boys belong.
So the Pony Pals tattle to the Park Ranger and he sends the boys off with a warning. WTH? Justice is done????????? THEY STOLE YOUR FREAKING PONIES WITH NO INTENTION OF GIVING THEM BACK!

More notes:
Lulu makes Tommy and Mike pee their pants. Heh.

Tommy: When are the pests going to grow up and get real horses?
Mike: They're too afraid of real horses.
Is that supposed to be funny? Oh, and they escape on their bikes doing wheelies. Sooo coool.

And then Anna says, "You're the pests, you gonzos!" *sigh*

Anna draws a map to their hideout. Pony Pal trail isn't on the map? But Tommy and Mike's hideout is? How did the girls know they had a hideout? This will become more confusing in the next few chapters.

The Pony Pals have adventures that are just as exciting as living in Africa.

Lighting campfires is illegal?

The one thing I don't like about Vivien Kubbos is that Anna's drawings take a definite turn for the worse.

Because campers are going to listen to a bunch of little girls.

I don't think Wiggins is home of the state forest, girls.

Just like in book #10, the girls are convinced they saved a million animals. But it's raining, right? Couldn't the rain have put the fire out?

Wait. This hideout is totally on your map. It says there, in black and white, "Tommy and Mike's hideout". HOW COME YOU DON'T KNOW WHOSE HIDEOUT THIS IS IF IT'S ON YOUR MAP???

I totally read this one sentence as, "Tommy loves beer." My bad, he loves ROOT beer.

Even people who know nothing about nature can figure out the difference between a bird and a whistle.

Wait. If you're going to describe useless things with utmost detail, you could at least tell me what kind of juice the Pony Pals are drinking.

Yes, it will be easy to scare Tommy and Mike into not lightning fires. Because you're all ten and you're just so scary.

Pam thinks they should report them to the park ranger. But the others don't want to do that because Mike is poor. So being poor justifies a life of crime? How come whenever Pam has a good idea, it is discouraged?

They decide to write an anonymous letter that sounds like an adult. And it sounds semi-believable up until the end:
Sincerely yours,
Someone who is watching you!!!
P.S.
Your hideout is a mess.

No self-respecting adult would write a letter like that.

More talk about Mike being poor and can't afford a big allowance. He has to call his mom "Ma" or "Ma'am".

I think Mike will figure out the note was written by a couple of kids.

They set Anna's drawings on fire and write the Pony Pals a threatening message. Yeah. Not creepy. Let's NOT tell our parents.

How mature:
Pony Pests.
Mind your own business if you know what's good for you. It's a free country. We were here first. Go away. Find another place to play with your little ponies.
OR ELSE.

Wth? They take their PONIES?

OMG IT'S NOT THAT HARD TO RIDE A PONY!

I just really wanted Snow White to get hurt or something. Hate her.

Tommy is wearing a red jacket. I thought he was rich? Why is he wearing a red cotton jacket?

Tommy and Mike's idea of fun is making fun of people. All right, I have a confession to make....

I think she's serious about having you guys arrested....

Anna is honing her acting skills.

Awww, Acorn crosses a brook to be with Anna.

Psh. They just got ambushed by Pony Pals.

And now they're letting the boys die in the woods. Ah, yes.

AAAAAGH, lame. They want to give them another CHANCE. COME ON.

Acorn attacks Tommy.

The main reason for the stealing and threatening was the fact that the Pony Pals had infiltrated the boys' clubhouse thingy. WTH? That's like killing someone for cutting you in line.

Oh, it turns out Tommy is the brains of this operation. Mike is just an innocent bystander.

WHY ARE THEY STOPPING PAM FROM TALKING TO THE RANGER!!!???? Lulu and Anna want to give them another chance. AND THEY USE THE "TWO-AGAINST-ONE" THINGY!!! AAAAAAGH! Forget them, Pam.

Ponies come before turning in criminals. *shakes head*

They feel bad for Mike. Then turn in Tommy, if you must, but you can't seriously tolerate this kind of ridiculousness.

Pam just admitted she's biased against Tommy. Great. This will help their case.

Wait, what??? Now MIKE'S wearing the red jacket??? Did they switch clothes or something?

Lol, Mike and Tommy look like kids from the 50's. "How are we going to get home, Tom?" "Shut up, Dick!"

Mike is afraid of freezing to death more so than jail.

You can't honestly think they're going to apologize. Aagh.

Surprise, surprise. They don't want your help. And they don't apologize.

Jack Stranton = coolest name ever.

The boys get caught doing the campfire thing. OMG!!! TOMMY BLAMES MIKE!!! Little toaster.

THEY GET OFF WITH A WARNING!!!!!

The Pony Pals leave without telling them the way home? Justice is done? What about the police??? HIGH CRIME! HIGH CRIME!!

Ugh. Next one I'll do is the one about sacrifice and horse shows. :P