Months of toil now at an end, or Pony Pals Super Special #6: The Last Pony Ride

This is it, guys. The very last Pony Pals book.



Plot: Major changes are going on in Wiggins. Lulu's father wants to her to move to Africa with him! Pam and Anna are getting too big for their ponies!!! What is going on???
First, let's deal with Pam: Pam finds it's getting a tad uncomfortable to ride Lightning. At the same time, Eleanor Whats-her-face has given Pam her horse Starfire after a tragic riding accident, forcing him (not her; she got a new horse) to retire early. Pam is torn between the pony she loves and the horse she longs to care for.
Her mom is totally NOT helping, by hinting that Lightning is a boring old nag that should be sold for glue.
In the end, Pam chooses to keep Starfire and let her mom use Lightning as a school pony, but still take care of her old pony every day.
Good choice.
Now Lulu: Her dad suddenly wants her to move to Africa with him, because he doesn't want to miss her childhood.
Hello???
Then why did you dump her in Wiggins with her grandmother in the FIRST PLACE???
Lulu begs her father to let her stay in Wiggins, with her FRIENDS, and GRANDMA, and PONY, but her dad insists she move to a country (Botwswana) with civil wars so she can make new friends. Because introverts are soooooo good at that.
Lulu has been defeated by her SUCKY FATHER!!! She decides to give Snow White to Anna, because Snow White is the perfect size for her 4'10" friend.
Anna: Basically what was just said about Lulu. She doesn't want her friends to move and change and go through puberty and that, and she doesn't want to give up Acorn. So she asks her parents if she can have TWO ponies (Snow White and Acorn), and Mike Lacey agrees to help her with barn chores so she doesn't get behind in school.
So Anna has two ponies, Lulu has no pony, and Pam has a horse AND a pony.
Not fair.
So Lulu moves to Africa, taking with her a scrapbook of all the Pony Pal's adventures. AWwww.

More notes:
Can I just say I REALLY liked this book? It was sweet.
Except for all the really bad parents.

Isn't Botswana one of the wartorn countries??

Ooh, Lulu got to ride an elephant!! How exotic!

Whatever. I could still ride ponies like Acorn in like 6th grade at 5'4". Anna is 6 inches shorter than that. She needs to suck it up. Just lengthen your stirrups, honey.

Eleanor is such a fake. "Oooh, I miss Starfire! He'll never be able to compete again!"
So she dumps him on a ten-year-old and buys a NEW horse to compete with.

Pam is 5'4", too, and she's too big for Lightning???? Lightning is 14 hands. She should be the perfect height!!

Pam's mom is so annoying. I really, REALLY despise her.

Ugh.
Eleanor: I thought Starfire and I wouldbe a team forever. Now I'm training another horse. I'll walk him around a little. Then I have to go back and ride my new horse. You'll always be my star! *sob*
-_-

Mr. Crandal shaved!!!!!!! He looks Samoan.

Starfire is so named because he has a white STAR marking on his forehead, but that marking is not evident in the illustration.

Ooh, Dr. Crandal's in on it, too.
If your daughter was happy with a pony, why wouldn't you let her be??
And if Pam isn't too big to ride DAISY and SPLASH and train numerous other ponies, she really shouldn't be too big for Lightning!

Mike: Is this something for Lulu?
Anna: Yeah. It's going to say 'Welcome home.' Pam was supposed to write it, but she's not here yet. And Lulu will be here any minute.
Mike: I'll write it for you. I print good.
Yeah, but you don't speak so well.

The writing in this book is definitely more improved than previous books, but Ms. Betancourt still has a tendency to repeat phrases.

Okay, Mr. Sanders wants Lulu to have some permanence in her life, so he's ripping her out of her comfortable life in Wiggins to live with him in Botswana...FOR TWO YEARS. THEN where are they going to move, I wonder?

Oh, it's going to be so great, Lulu! People speak English there, and you can go to school, and your dad bought an apartment for the two of you!
Oh, and you can't bring Snow White.

Pam: Did you tell your dad you didn't want to move to Africa?
Lulu: It seemed like an okay idea when I was there.

Anna: What does your grandmother always want us to do?
Lulu: Be girlie girls.
I'm glad she has such high expectations.

They let Grandma Sandy give them makeovers, then beg her to tell her irresponsible son to let his daughter stay where she pleases.

Grandma: Makeovers! What a lovely idea. I have a great idea for Anna's hair. A shade of pink nail polish would be perfect for girls your age. And there's a new aqua one with sparkles.
Lulu: I bet Pam would like that one.
Hehehe.

SHE STRAIGHTENS ANNA'S HAIR!!

I think Pam is over Lightning. She forgets what gender her pony is.

This sounds like something from a horror movie.
"Lulu's grandmother turned her attention to Lulu. 'Now I am going to give you curls,' she announced cheerfully."

Whoa, pink and silver beads totally don't go with sparkly aqua nail polish.

Moral of this story: Tomboys are better.

Charlie's back in town!! What, he's 12??? I thought he was 14. He's best friends with Mike and Tommy, isn't he??? WHY WOULD THEY HANG OUT WITH A 12-YEAR-OLD??

Uh oh. They go out to dinner at the diner, looking like girls...and see Tommy, Charlie, and Mike.
Recipe for disaster.

Tommy: Look at the Pony Pests. They're trying to be girls.
Jerk. He's probably a homophobe.
Which is weird, cuz he's gay with Mike.
Is it possible to be a gay homophobe?
I guess that's called hypocrisy.

Meow, Lulu looks like Evangeline Lilly.

Grandma: Riding helmets will crush your new hairdos.
Forsake your riding safety, Lulu! I don't care if you die in a riding accident as long as your corpse looks good!

Then she says: Don't worry about it, dear. It's you I love. Not what your hair looks like.
Which is, like, the opposite of what you've been telling her all these years.

Surprise! Starfire is Pam's now.
And her mom still sucks.

Mrs. Crandal totally drops that bomb on her, and then when Pam reacts, is all, "Sorry, I'm busy, we'll discuss this later."
Haaaate.

Anna's in denial. She doesn't realize she's too huge for Acorn (though in the picture all the girls are the same size and look aptly suited to their ponies).

WHOA!!!
Never tell Anna anything, or she might react like this:
"You're going to have a horse! You're giving up Lightning! If you have Starfire, you won't ride her at all. You're disloyal and you're bad Pony Pals. Both of you!!"
*runs away crying*

The Pony Pals decide to let her cool off on her own for a while.
THEY'RE LEARNING! HALLELUJAH!

Oh. Anna admits she's a little psycho. And sad. And resistant to change.
Awwww.


I HATE LULU'S DAD!!!
He's SO SELFISH! If he wants to be with Lulu so badly, why isn't he putting her best interests into the picture??
It's been about his career all this time, and it's STILL about his career.
He claims he doesn't want to miss anymore of her childhood, that she should remain in one place, and that they belong together.
If that's so, MOVE TO WIGGINS TO BE WITH YOUR KID, YOU SELFISH LOSER!!!
He's SUCH a jerk.
And it sucks cuz Lulu probably knows this, but she does love and her dad and wants to live with him.
This is the part of the book that made me really sad. And incensed. But pretty sad, too.

THE MOMENT OF TRUTH:
Tommy: Good riddance. We have too many Pony Pests around here. We need pest control.
Mike: Stop it! Stop being mean. It's not funny.
Tommy: Good riddance to you, too. You're a bigger pest than they are.

Wow. I guess it's really over. Now Mike and Anna can hook up!!
Unless...uh oh....
Mike: He makes me so mad sometimes. He's a lousy friend.
Charlie: *pats him on the back* You can find better guys than him to hang out with. [Read: ME!]
Mike: *smile* I guess.
Awww, so much for Mike + Anna.
That would be the awesomest fanfic ever. An Anna, Mike, and Charlie love triangle.

Lulu thinks up some pretty smart ideas.
Idea #1: She wants to give Snow White to Anna, because Snow White knows Anna and giving her away is easier than selling her.
Idea #2: They can enter the 21st century (yay!) and use e-mail to communicate.
They agree to e-mail every week.
Every WEEK?? Come on. Use IM and talk every DAY.

What's with the idea that hobbies detract from schoolwork? I disagree. There can be a balance, and Anna does have a legitimate learning disability.

Mrs. Harley isn't the nicest mom either.
Anna: Acorn and Snow White shouldn't be seperated. They're best friends. They're stablemates.
Mrs. Harley: Of course they can be separated. Ponies are bought and sold all the time. You can only have one pony. That's more than most kids have. I'm sorry, Anna. You'll have to decide what pony you want.
Harsh!! I can understand the financial burden another pony would bring, but seriously??? Your kid's grades should have NOTHING to do with the decision, lady. And she has to choose? Way mean.

No way!!!
Rosalie wishes she could ride ponies more often.
Anna can't take care of two ponies.
Mike offers to take care of both ponies, in exchange for more riding time for Rosalie.
That's so nice!!!!

Basically, they make Mike do ALL the barn chores.
Whoa, that wasn't in the agreement. Anna should still help out.

Haha, we find out the Pony Pals' middle names.
Mike's middle name is John. Lame.
Charlie's is K. Huh. Like Harry S. Truman.
Pam's is Eleanor (after the famous chick who tossed her injured horse over Pam's way).
Anna's is Marie.
Lulu doesn't have a middle name. That's why she's no longer in the club and has to move to Africa.

"I heard you're moving to AFrica. It's a wonderful oppurtunity for you."
That's Mr. Harley talking. I suppose that's true, but all the same, how inconsiderate.
This girl has to leave most of her family and friends (AND PONY) to a completely different culture where there are wars and dangerous animals and excessive heat.
Not that I have anything against Africa (quite the opposite), but if I was forced to move there, I'd be cutting myself now.

How convenient. Rosalie is the perfect size for Acorn. So, in essence, Acorn is Rosalie's pony now.

Yay, the Harley's agreed!

They say goodbye to almost everyone in Wiggins, and reference quite a few of the past books. This includes:
Ms. McGee (Historical Society Chick); Mike's grandma (after they found her secret letter in the secret spot in #31); Ms. Raskins (the slacker girl in charge of St. Francis Animal Shelter); Eve Greeley and Lucky (the pony they raised from birth); Mr. and Mrs. Quinn (the old people with the old pony); Mimi Klein and Tongo (the bratty girl with her bratty pony); Mr. Olson (creepy old man/Charlie's uncle); and Mr. Remington (the cool, Harry Potter-obsessed librarian).

They throw a going-away party for Lulu, where they serve all her favorite foods: spaghetti and brownies!!!

Aw. Grandma Sandy buys them matching pony necklaces to help them remember the now defunct Pony Pals.

They have a profile in the back of the book on each character and pony.
Lulu is 5 feet, and likes detective work and spaghetti, but not fussing with her hair.
Anna is 4'10" (!!), and likes brownies and drawing, but not school.
Pam is 5'4" (at 10 years old!!!), and likes jumping and being in charge (that's for sure), but not bossy people (ironically enough).

The Happiest Pony Pal Moment:
When Lulu got Snow White and we knew we would be the Pony Pals.
I can think of happier Pony Pal Moments.
Not off the top of my head, but if I tried really hard....

The Saddest Pony Pal Moment:
When we found out that Lulu was moving.
What about when Winston died?
Well, yeah, I guess friend moving FOREVER trumps pony dying FOREVER.
Not even being sarcastic.

Awww. I miss them already.
Seriously, when did I start this blog?? Remember when it was originally JUST Pony Pals?
Well, now there are no more Pony Pals...
...AND I REALLY MISS THEM.
But I do have plenty of Madison Finns to keep you entertained. That should be fun.
Next stop: Madison Finn Super Special #1. Someone's getting married!!!

Why my parents got me a dog instead, or Pony Pals #37: No Ponies in the House!

When I was little, I always wanted a pony (or a dog).
Unfortunately, my Navy dad had us living in an apartment, and a pony wouldn't have done well in a storage unit.
Though I'm not sure where we could've found Ponies For Sale in Japan.
Not on base, anyway.



Plot: Rosalie is driving everyone crazy! The pet-deprived little girl has just been blessed with a hamster named Alfie. It's only temporary, however; if Rosalie doesn't take good care of Alfie, she'll have to give him back!!
Mike has been dropping Rosalie off at Lulu's house so he can go on "fishing trips" with his boyfriend Tommy (we know what they're really up to). With Anna out of town and Pam working for her mom, Lulu has no one to help her watch the precocious six-year-old. When Rosalie goes off on her own with Acorn and Alfie, it's the last straw.
But before they can punish Rosalie, Alfie goes missing in Lulu's house! Grandmother Sanders has one cardinal rule: NO ANIMALS IN THE HOUSE!!! Grandma Sandy threatens to call the exterminator if they don't find the lovable creature.
Pony Pals to the rescue! Anna comes home and Pam ditches her mom and the three of them team up in the kitchen to find Alfie. They concoct a crazy plan: they'll bring Snow White into the house to find Alfie! They're friends, after all. Snow White sniffs out the mischeivous hamster and all is well; Grandma Sandy doesn't even notice!
Rosalie feels she has to give up Alfie for his own safety; he might've died in that lonely kitchen!! The Pony Pals (and Mike!) make a new, fun-filled cage for Alfie so he won't be bored and Rosalie won't have to carry him around in her pocket.
Then, randomly, Lulu's Dad comes home!!! Where...? Whatever.

More notes:
What is it with women and barrettes? My mom was always wanting to put my hair in barrettes, and Grandma Sandy is just as bad.

Anna is in the city visiting her uncle. Which city, pray tell?

Awww, Alfie is a Teddy Bear Hamster. I had one of those!!

"'The school had a bunch of extra hamsters,' explained Mike. 'Mom is letting Rosalie keep him on a trial basis. If Alfie's any trouble, back he goes.'"
What?? Why would the school have extra hamsters? What do you need hamsters for??
Oooooh noooooo....
Now I know what makes the pepperoni taste so good!!!!

Mike tries to dump Rosalie on Lulu. Nice try.

Mimi's gone, too? Where is everybody??

Carrying Alfie around in your hands is safer than having him in a pocket where he could LEAP OUT.

"'Hi, Lulu,' said Mrs. Crandal. 'We're having a beginning rider clinic today and tomorrow. My assistant is sick, so Pam's helping.'
'Sorry. I can't ride for a couple of days,' Pam told Lulu.
Lulu didn't think Pam looked sorry. She looked happy."
I'd be happy, too. Especially if I was getting PAID. I'm assuming that's where Pam's smile is coming from.

Mr. Sanders wins an award for being the worst parent ever. Not only have we not heard from him for a while, Lulu won't be seeing him for 2 more months.
He sent her to Wiggins cuz he couldn't handle having a kid. I wonder if he did that to his wife before she died. That must've been inconvenient for him.

Lulu: Rosalie, this isn't the time to cry. You won't be able to see Alfie if you're crying.
Way to comfort the crying kid, Lulu. You're a natural.

Heh. They find Alfie in the grain box, his cheeks puffy with grain. My hamster used to do that...and then she'd try to climb up the tubes. Not those tubes. Sickos.

AAARGH. Grandma Sandy is afraid of hamsters because they're RODENTS.
My mom has the same problem with rats.
Even rats that are completely clean, nice, smart, and trained for the Rat Olympics she has a problem with.

Mr. Lacey's kind of a sucky parent, too. His kids never see him because he's too cheap to send them tickets to fly to Chicago.

Lulu and Rosalie talk about things they have in common.
Well, let's see.
1. Their dads suck.
2. They're legal guardians both have a stick up their butt.
3. They hate boys!!

Mike and Tommy went on a "fishing trip"....

Ugh, Lulu left Rosalie by herself and she disappears. Way to go, Lulu.

Rosalie told Lulu Mike was picking her up in an hour...but that was a LIE!

Tommy encourages Rosalie's rebellious behavior. He's a GREAT boyfriend, Mike!

Rather than tell Rosalie's mother, they keep it secret. Why would telling her cause her to lose Alfie, though? It's not as if ALFIE caused this mess.

Tommy: Rosalie can stay with the Pony Pests. Baby-sitting is girls' work.
Sexist pig.

Aw. A hamster sitting on a pony's back - that would be the cutest picture ever.

Rosalie shows up at Lulu's house.
Rosalie: Don't worry, I wrote Mike a note so he won't be mad. *hands Lulu the note*
Lulu: Why do you still have the note if it's for Mike?
Lol. Couldn't not laugh at that one.

"I'm sorry. I did bad things. I'm really and truly and very really sorry."
Whatever. It's the death penalty for you.

Alfie disappears...just as Grandma Sandy enters the kitchen.
Uh oh.

That's so mean!! You can't call an exterminator on someone's pet hamster!!

Rofl.
"Don't try to butter me up, Lucinda. You know I don't like animals."

Conveniently enough, the phone is dead, so Grandma can't call the exterminator!

"Well, I can't even phone an exterminator right now, can I? I can't even call the telephone company to say that the phone doesn't work."
Why would you do that?? If the phone doesn't work...never mind.
That's like e-mailing someone and then calling them on the phone and saying, "I sent you an e-mail."
True story.

They make spaghetti for dinner.
It's like all they eat is carbs, carbs, carbs. Brownies, spaghetti...when will it end????

Shouldn't it be easier to find a hamster when it's asleep? Because then it will only be in one place, not moving around all confusingly.

When Alfie appears, they don't want to grab him. Instead, they'll use pots and pans, which serve exactly the same purpose. Stupid.

OMG!! They don't find Alfie, but they find MICE IN THE CUPBOARD!!!!!!!!!! And this doesn't freak you out????? You might have an INFESTATION!!!

"Anna opened the freezer door. 'Hm-m,' she said thoughtfully. 'How about some chocolate ice cream? I always think better when I've had some ice cream.'
Liar. You just wanted ice cream.

Pam: I've never heard of a pony or a horse liking a hamster.
Now, do you mean "like" or "like like"?

Lulu's worried Snow White will crap on the carpet.
Which she almost does.
But Pam catches it in a bucket.
That's kind of disgusting.

Anna has to pretend she had a nightmare so Grandma Sandy won't go into the kitchen. "There was a monster. The monster had awful yellow eyes. And it was chasing me. It was going to kill me!!!!"

Grandma almost goes into the kitchen to get some warm milk. NOOOOOOO!

Alfie was sitting on Snow White's back the whole time??? Lame!!!

Alfie's on drugs. He starts walking upside down inside the strainer.
Skillz.

Uh oh. Grandma Sandy finds Snow White's hair on the kitchen floor!!!!

Anna: It's simple. Remember when we brushed out the ponies yesterday, Lulu? I bet hair from Snow White's mane was on your clothes. It fell off in the kitchen.
Liar, liar, pants on fire.

Rosalie feels guilty and wants to give away Alfie...because she almost KILLED Acorn.
Way to go, Pony Pals. That was a long time ago.

The Pony Pals talk about all the times they screwed up with animals. Anna killed her goldfish. Pam made Woolie run away. Lulu lost Rosalie...wait.

Whoa!!! In the picture, Mike looks way hot for a 12-14 year old boy.

Alfie gets bored because his cage is lamesauce. So they spruce it up for him.

Tommy's afraid of Alfie. Ha.

Sucky Dad comes home!!! Hurray for Mr. Sanders!!! :P

That's it. Madison Finn tomorrow, hopefully.

Lonely, I'm so lonely, I have nobody for my own, or Pony Pals #25: The Lonely Pony

So much for this one. How long has it been since I put this on hold? Seriously, it was the most boring Pony Pals ever. I think it was because of Lulu; her books are always really lamesauce.



Plot: Lulu wakes up in the morning and finds not two, but THREE ponies in her paddock. Who is the mysterious third? Tongo, Mimi Kline's pony. It appears he ran away during the night because he's lonely. Anna takes Tongo back to Mimi's house and has Acorn stay with Tongo to make sure Tongo doesn't run away again.
Lulu is angry. Snow White has a respiratory infection and misses Acorn, but Anna doesn't seem to care at all! If only Pam were there to mediate, but she's at a jumping clinic for two days.
Pam comes back and doesn't do a very good job mediating. Anna and Lulu fight; Lulu thinks Anna is selfish and should bring Acorn back so Snow White won't be lonely. Anna thinks it's more important to take care of Tongo first so HE DOESN'T RUN AWAY AGAIN AND POSSIBLY GET HIT BY A CAR.
Time for three ideas. Pam suggests they make the fence bigger. Anna suggests they find Tongo a stablemate. Lulu has the same idea (probably written down hastily after hearing Anna's idea, no doubt), and the three go to St. Francis' Animal Shelter to pick out a nice pet.
They narrow it down to three: Max, a shy Basset Hound; Dottie, a cute pot-bellied pig; and Billy, an adorable pygmy goat.
Unfortunately, they decided to inform Mr. and Mrs. Kline of their new pet AFTER they brought it to their house.
Mimi, of course, ruins the entire situation with her bad timing. Mr. and Mrs. Kline don't like the idea of a new pet. The Pony Pals quickly decide on Billy the goat and leave him in the paddock with Tongo to see how they get along.
Not too well, it turns out. Lulu is sure that's because everyone is watching them and Billy is intimidated by them and his new surroundings. The Pony Pals decide to leave Tongo and his friend alone for a while and go on a nice, relaxing trail ride.
Wow. What a super ambiguous ending.

More notes:
"Lulu recognized the extra pony right away. It was Mimi Kline's small Shetland pony, Tongo. How did Tongo get there? Lulu wondered."
I'm assuming he walked.

"Acorn and Tongo happily sniffed noses over the fence. Snow White stood alone in the middle of the paddock. Snow White doesn't like having surprise visitors, thought Lulu."
Really, does Snow White like anybody?

Look at crap. Horrible:
Anna exchanged a smile. Mimi was cute and spoiled. Just like Tongo. And both were lots of fun.
Heh. I'd like to unleash Mrs. Sims on Jeanne Betancourt.

Anna: I think Snow White's jealous. She doesn't want to share Acorn.
Lulu: Snow White is not jealous. Tongo probably did something to her that we didn't see.
Whatever. She's jealous.

"Life in Wiggins is boring without my Pony Pals."
You're just now realizing that?

Lulu is so bored that she lets her grandmother cut her hair!!! :O

NO WAY, Grandmother Sanders gives her bangs! Lulu's hair looks pretty adorable, actually.

But not as good as mine, right? Lol.

Ugh, Lulu is so whiny.
Lulu: Is Acorn staying here tonight?
Anna: Yeah.
Lulu: But Acorn and Snow White are stablemates.
Anna: Mrs. Bell is afraid Tongo will run away again. I said I'd stay over, too.
Lulu: The Klines have to figure out how to keep Tongo in his own yard.
Anna: And we have to help them.
It's not actually their job to help people, but God forbid Lulu should do something nice for someone. "Nooo, I'd rather Tongo got hit by a car, because Snow White is SOOOO LONELY."
She has nobody for her own.

Oh no, Snow White is sick...again.

Dr. Crandal: Now let's see if she has a cough.
Dr Crandal squeezed Snow White's windpipe, and she coughed.
Uh, yeah, I'd cough, too, if someone squeezed my windpipe.

Ew, sulfur pills? Who'd want to take something that smelled like rotten eggs and came out of a volcano?

Anna makes a big mistake.
Lulu: So Acorn can't come home while Snow White is sick.
Anna: Good. It will give us time to solve the Tongo problem. We have to figure out how to keep him in his own yard.
Lulu: How can you say it's a good thing that Snow White is sick?
Anna: I didn't say it's good that Snow White's sick! I said it's good that Acorn is with Tongo. So Tongo won't run away again. We have time to solve the Tongo problem.

Lulu: The Klines should just get another pony. Then Tongo can have his own stablemate.
Hello? Ponies are uber-expensive, and Mimi has to ride Tongo IN THE DRIVEWAY!!! Something tells me the Klines don't have room for another pony.

Not to mention they run a HARDWARE STORE. Not a lot of money in that.

Haha. Anna makes another mistake.
Anna: Hi, everybody. How's Snow White? She looks better. Is he cured?
Lulu: She. Snow White is a she, you called her he.
Anna: Sorry. I just made a mistake.
You bet you did. Lol. Pony Pal fights.

Ugh, Lulu is so annoying.
"'That won't work,' Anna explained. 'Snow White doesn't like Tongo. She gets jealous.'
'Snow White is not jealous,' Lulu practically shouted at Anna.
Lulu glared at Anna. Didn't Anna understand anything about ponies? Didn't she love Snow White anymore?"
Whatever. Animals feel secondary emotions, one of those being jealousy. Snow White is SO JEALOUS.

You know how Anna always draws her ideas? Her idea this time is...a dog, a duck, and a goat. Please explain, Anna.

Remember Chicago? The cat Rosalie was obsessed with? CHICAGO LIVES!!

Anna: Tongo acts bratty sometimes. I bet Tongo did something to make Snow White angry. You know, the night he came to our paddock.
Like what? He called her a bad name? He hurt her feelings, did he?

Ew, the picture of Mr. Kline makes him look like the creepy old smoker dad from "Pretty in Pink".

"Pam hit Lulu on the head with another pillow. And Anna grabbed Lulu by both wrists while Pam tickled her. The Pony Pals had a pillow-tickle fight until they were all exhausted."
:O Wow...I have absolutely nothing to say to that.

Awww, pigs and ducks.

Oh, how droll, a duck named Crackers the Quacker! Excuse me if I don't bust my gut laughing.

Awwww, there's a REALLY CUTE picture of Pam holding some adorable puppies.

Who doesn't love pygmy goats?

Lulu wants Billy. Anna likes Dottie. Pam, who loves dogs, has bonded with Max. Guess who wins?

Lulu: Does Mrs. Kline know that Tongo is picking out a stablemate?
Anna: Not yet.
There's a 50% chance the Klines will say no, AND THEY DON'T ASK THEM FIRST??? Morons.

Tongo is attacked by a duck.

Anna tries to get Mimi to keep her mouth shut, so as not to ruin their idea with bad timing.

"Mommy! Mommy! I want Billy. I have to have him. Tongo wants him, too."
Way to go, Mimi.

Mrs. Kline is way POed. And the picture makes her look like a black man.

To calm her down, the Pony Pals bring her some cookies and lemonade.

Billy runs away, so Lulu and Pam decide to carry him to the paddock.
Mrs. Raskins: I was just going to suggest that.
Sure. Whatever.

Mrs. Kline gives Billy 5 seconds... "Hm, looks like it's not going to work. Take him back."

Billy is SO CUTE!!

The ending is so ambiguous!
Tongo and Billy: *are sort of beginning to get along*
Pam: Let's leave them alone for awhile.
Lulu: Good iea. And let's go on a trail ride. Just the Pony Pals.
Anna: Perfect.
So they ride off into the sunset...and we don't know if Billy stays or if he goes. That's a song.

So that's it. That's what I spent $4 on.
I really hate Lulu. In the very last Pony Pals book, Lulu should die a fiery death.
Lol, Jeanne Betancourt manages to squeeze like 5 Super Specials in between the last 4 books.
I have some Avalons that I still need to read. I don't know, I kind of hate that series now. Thankfully, there are only two more and then there aren't any more because Rachel Roberts decided not to write any.
I also have 8 more Madison Finn books. Sweet, right? I won't order anymore for now.
Yay, I also read "Heart to Heart" this morning, so I'll post that ASAP.

There's no such thing as a sad ending, or Horseshoe Trilogies #3: Sweet Charity

We're finally done with this series. I'm thinking of making a collage of all the series I've posted on this blog. Lol.



Plot: Josie doesn't want to sell Charity, her specialist most favorite horse, but she has no choice. Now, to add more stress, the Graces have to find a new home.
So Josie is all emo about Charity the ENTIRE TIME. The Taylor family and their daughter Emily are pretty interested in buying her (why is it that no boys ever want to buy a horse??), which makes Josie uber jealous.
Then, one night, Charity disappears, along with all her tack! *gasp* SHE'S BEEN STOLEN!
And we know who the culprit is. Kirsty, a creepy little girl who loves Charity a little TOO much, apparently did it to help Josie?? Whatever.
So Josie goes looking for them and finds them in the boathouse, but then Kirsty has an asthma attack and somehow falls into the river. Josie goes to save her, and they're both about to drown, but Charity saves them both.
Um, yay.
So now that that's all over, Josie's parents start hinting that they've found a NEW OWNER for Charity and she's the BEST OWNER they could find. Josie can't figure it out, but then they tell her that Charity is HERS. Because her dad got a new job and now is uber rich and their new house has a field where they can keep a horse. LAAAAAME.

More notes:
Josie often has odd fantasies involving Charity and herself.... THEY'RE ABOUT RIDING!!! Sickos.

Oh, and in the fantasy, she saves a young man who's broken his leg, and his grandmother lets Charity stay for free in their stables.

Whaaaat? Looking at this cover, Charity doesn't even look CLOSE to flea-bitten. As in the color, not the state.

Josie invites Kirsty over to her house, and then is all, "OMG, SHE'S SO CREEPY AND SHE GETS ON MY NERVES!" Then WHY'D you invite her to your house?

Anna thinks Kirsty is creepy, too. Why? Does she murder animals or play with voodoo dolls?

"'No!' Kirsty said. 'I won't let them take her away from you!'"
Okay...THAT's creepy.

Okay, her parents are sort of poorish, so they're settling on a townhouse with a small backyard, and Josie's all complaining. "THIS ISN'T THE BEST HOUSE!! HOW WILL WE KEEP THE DUCKS AND CHICKENS??" You won't...because you're POOR.

Foreshadowing of the boathouse incident, and how unstable it is....

"They've got an older boy who's had a horse for a while, and now they want a horse for his younger sister. She's been having riding lessons for ages."
Hmm...sounds familiar. What do you know, she has brown hair and freckles!

Oh, if you smile shyly, you must be a nice person.

Josie storms into the house and starts yelling at her dad.

I love how her mom is so blunt and realistic.

"There are three bedrooms, but one of them is tiny, and the kitchen's not enormous, either."
"That doesn't bother me. You know how I feel about cooking."
Um, yeah, but your husband LOVES to cook. Why don't you ask him how HE feels?

Josie and Anna find a field with horses right next to the new house.
Josie: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Me: That there are horses there to take your mind off Charity?
Anna: Oooh! Charity could stay with those horses!
Me: ....

Um, duh, horses are EXPENSIVE.

Ah yes, let's lie and say that Charity has an awful disease.

Oh no, Charity's not in the field! Well, gee, MAYBE SHE'S IN THE BARN!

I'm trying to imagine the damage Josie could do to a potential horse thief.

Anna, Ben, and Josie are being detectives like the Pony Pals.

The thief knew where the key was.... Hm, MAYBE THEY'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE?

Oh, and Kirsty Fisher happens to be missing. What a coincidence.

Argh! Now that they know it's Kirsty, they're like, "Oh, she didn't mean to hurt us, it's all right." Yeah, but she stole your property. Doesn't that mean anything to you?

They didn't get any phonecalls from Mrs. Fisher...and it's Josie's fault.

"I've got a feeling she was trying to help me." Yeah, in a messed up against-the-law way.

Oh, and it turns out Kirsty is asthmatic. Just to add to the drama.

Why would you look for a girl on horseback with bikes? Wouldn't you also use horses?

Yeah, duh, use Faith.

Gotcha, Anna and Ben's dad is Spanish. Makes sense.

Faith, like Acorn, is a good detective.

Kirsty's inhaler reminded me of how my brother used to use an inhaler for allergies.

"No one's angry at you, Kirsty." I am.

Argh, she has a serious asthma attack. Just like in "Are We There Yet?".

Josie tries to throw the inhaler to her...and misses by TWO FEET. Nice throw.

Kirsty falls into the river. Wow.

Smart, go after her. Now you'll both drown, although what else could you do?

Charity saves them. This would be a good episode of "Miracle Pets".

Should I call the police first, or my parents? Police, police! She calls her parents.

Anna: I called the farmer who owns the field, but he says someone already asked him to keep a space for a horse!
Josie: Darn.
Me: ....

"My own sweet Charity. Now nothing's going to take her away from me!"
Except for possibly death and disease.

So yeah. A really awful Pony Pals tomorrow. Yaay, haven't done one of those in a while.

Someone's lost in the woods...again, or Pony Pals #29: Lost and Found Pony

Why this picture is so huge, I have no idea.
Surprisingly, this is probably one of the best Pony Pals books I've ever read. It's not good or fun to read or exciting...but I didn't find anything to complain about for about...15 pages!!!



Plot: Mimi and Rosalie are annoying little tricksters; we all know that. One day, however, they go too far.
It starts when Rosalie catches the Pony Pals getting ready to go for a trail ride (they're neighbors, remember?), and runs and tells Mimi, who wants to come. Since Rosalie is a pushover and does everything Mimi says, she runs back and relays this message to the Pony Pals.
Remember, this book is about Anna, and Anna doesn't do that well with little kids, so she says yes, of course, but tells Rosalie that she and Mimi can NOT join them on the picnic.
So Rosalie goes and tells Mimi.
Who tells Mrs. Bell (the dimwitted babysitter) that the Pony Pals would love to take them on a picnic.
Mrs. Bell is overjoyed that Mimi has friends (ha) and packs a big picnic basket.
Lulu and Pam are a little POed.
All during the trail ride, Rosalie and Mimi are messing around on Tongo and being pests (yelling, screaming, existing, and talking to each other on walkie-talkies even when they are four feet away from each other). They even pretend to be lost in the woods! This is enough for the Pony Pals, so Anna tells them the story of the The Boy Who Cried Wolf, and the little kids don't get it. Now Anna is POed.
Suddenly, a storm starts and Tongo runs away. Then the brats call on the walkie-talkie and say that they ran into a cave and don't know where they are. The Pony Pals think they're getting tricked again, so they ignore them, until the girls start crying and insisting they're "not like the shepherd boy". All right then. So starts a quest to save the midgets.
Questing, questing, Acorn finds clues, Acorn runs away, Acorn finds Tongo, the girls find the cave, bla bla bla.
So at the cave, Anna insists on going in and finding the little girls. She goes in, gets them, they are safe, and neither Mimi nor Rosalie have rabies. And all is well.

More notes:
Rosalie has brown hair all of a sudden. Who lets a six-year-old dye their hair?

Aargh, it's like a Verizon commercial. "Can you hear me now? Good."

I don't find it strange that Mrs. Lacey won't buy Rosalie a pony when they're DIRT POOR AND LIVE IN AN APARTMENT!!!

Mrs. Bell is so gullible. She should NOT be babysitting those children.

Anna: Oh, I don't think they'll be mad.
Ha. I've spent enough time with Pam and Lulu to know that they WILL be mad.

Ha. Pam knows Mimi is full of crap.

Yeah, that's smart, Mimi. "I can ride with one hand!!"

Tongo bolts. Ha.

Anna flips out at Mimi. Lol.
Mimi: Where's my walkie-talkie?
Anna: Your walkie-talkie? You almost got killed. You have to hold on with two hands when you ride. Always.
Mimi: That was fun. It was a Pony Pal adventure.
I seriously think I would have slapped her by this time. Seriously. This girl is such a PILL.

Ha. Anna threatens to take her back home to get her to shut up.

Tongo is the lamest pony ever. He's scared of WATER.

Mimi and Rosalie have a walkie-talkie conversation. They're sitting a few feet away from each other the entire time. Yeah, they're six, all right.

ROSALIE STILL HAS BROWN HAIR! AND ALL THE PONIES LOOK LIKE CAMARGUES: ALL THE SAME!!!

Ew, and Rosalie has gross bangs.

Mimi: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Anna: To get to the other side.
Mimi: Wrong! The chicken crossed the road to see her friend.
Anna: Very funny.
Lulu: Very silly.
And Lulu is definitely an only child.

Omg, Rosalie and Mimi are joking about getting attacked by a bear. Mike is most likely not in Boy Scouts.

Ugh, Anna's going to tell them a parable to make them change their mind. IT WON'T WORK.

Great. Mimi justifies lying as "joking".

And now they're being attacked by a wolf.

Mimi: Ugh, they're so bossy.
Ha! Said Mimi.

Wait, Lulu is allowed to go off into the woods by herself, and the little kids aren't??? "DON'T GO OFF BY YOURSELF!" Yeah, right.

Anna lies about Tongo being missing. Oh, but she was just "joking".

Paul Bachem's drawings of Tongo always suck, but his Acorns in this book are really good.

Hmmm...Acorn is Anna's "wonderful pony hero".

You see how short that was!!!?? It must have been good. Coming up soon: Avalon #2: All That Glitters (probably my favorite book in the series, which means it's probably awful).
Some more chicken jokes that are funnier than Mimi's.

I got two pickles, hey hey hey, or Pony Pals #24: Unlucky Pony

Aaargh, this book was so sad. Actually, it mostly sucked, but there was one part that seriously brought tears to my eyes. Yeah, Jeanne Betancourt gets a new illustrator, but fires her and gets a new one in the next book!! Then in #27, it's back to Paul Bachem!! Will we ever be free?



Plot: Remember Lucky? The annoying bratty pony with no mother? The one the Pony Pals finally got rid of? Well, he's back, and more spoiled than ever. Aaargh. Eve Greeley, his owner, is putting up with some pretty dangerous behaviors. Her parents want to get rid of him, so the Pony Pals decide to help Eve train Lucky.
Surprise! Lucky is a brat! He even tramples through someone's corn field!
Eve is pretty sad, but is surprisingly mature about the whole thing, and decides to give Lucky to the Pony Pals rather than see him shipped to a new owner. :*(
Yay! The Pony Pals think up a new plan! Lucky can live at the Crandal's for the time being! Lightning will show him who's boss! And Eve can ride Daisy! Yay!
What promised to be a realistic picture of life with ponies is once again disappointing. But hey, what did you expect from Jeanne Betancourt?

More notes:
Nice, Jeanne. Copy the intro of #3.

Pam insinuates that Eve is retarded because she has crappy handwriting.

Surprise! A new illustrator!! Anna looks normal, but Pam looks at least 60 and Lulu looks like a super model. I wonder who the illustrator's favorite character is.

Another example of Pony Pal hypocrisy: Anna and Lulu gallop up to Pam. I thought that was "dangerous".

AAAAAAAAAAGH! This is the worst letter ever. How old is this girl?:
Dear Pony Pals,
It's me. Eve Greeley. [great way to not use a comma or colon] I adopted the baby pony from you. I named him Lucky. You said that was okay. [GET TO THE POINT!]
Lucky is so cute. He is full of energy. All he wants to do is play and kick and run around. He loves treats.
Do you remember Freckles? [Yes, I could never forget that name.] She doesn't want to play with Lucky anymore. [HA!] But Lucky plays with me.
My dad and mom say Lucky is too hard to handle. But I love him. [AAAAAAAGH!] I want to train him, then I can ride him some day. [What? There should definitely be a so in there.]
Can you help me train Lucky? Please? My dad says it is okay. Our telephone number is 354-90000. [That telephone number does not exist. There should only be 3 zeroes. Get your facts straight, Jeanne.] Please help Lucky and me. [LUCKY AND I! LUCKY AND I!]
Your friend,
Eve
P.S. Lucky will be one year old next week.

Way to repeat yourself.

WHY ARE THEY SUDDENLY ON VACATION!!?? Wait a minute! It's been a year since they took care of Lucky. ALL OF THEM ARE STILL TEN YEARS OLD!!! How many summers have passed since then?? THEY'RE FROZEN IN TIME!

Heh. I remember the first time the ponies met Lucky. Acorn and Lightning tried to kill him.

Omg, Jeanne totally worships Lulu in this one. She's all talking about Lulu is soooo saaaaad not to have a mother, so that makes her love baby animals with no mothers. *sob sob sob* Not. :P

I'm really trying to figure out how Snow White could've gotten trapped in that barbed wire.

Continuity error. Anna got Acorn when she was 9, not 10.

Pam spells "cozy" wrong, and Anna puts too much food in Lucky's feed bin. Didn't she freak out when a 6 year old overfed Acorn?

OMG!!! THE GREELEYS GET IN AN ACCIDENT! THE VIOLENCE! THE VIOLENCE!!

But no one is seriously hurt. Lucky has a cut on his leg.

Whatever. This illustrator can't draw black people. Pam looks like a boy with a huge mouth.

Yeah, let the Pony Pals go find Lucky. Smart.

They care more about the station wagon than they do the Greeleys.

LOL, the Pony Pals are friends with a police officer. They haven't been doing time, have they?

Okay, I thought Lucky wasn't badly hurt, but they find enough blood on the ground to fill a horror movie.

OMG, Pam is such a pessimist!! She keeps thinking Lucky will bleed to death!

Bla bla bla, another examples of how ponies are AAAALWAYS right.

BAY AND BROWN ARE NOT THE SAME THING!!!

Aaagh. The guy's mad because the pony's trampling his corn. Give him a break.

LOL!
"'I'll give you five minutes,' the man said. The corners of his mouth turned up in an evil grin. 'And since it's your pony, you're responsible for the damage to my corn crop.'" OMG THAT'S SO CONNIVING AND HILARIOUS! The Pony Pals never have to pay, tho. :P

Pam starts singing "All the Pretty Horses" to lure Lucky towards her. Wth? Is she trying to seduce him?

Yeah, that's right. It's not just a shallow cut on the leg, Dr. Crandal.

The farmer calls her an idiot and questions her methods. LOL it's cracking me up.

Ooookay, this is so not how I pictured Mr. Farmer. He looks like one of the people that heads the Star Wars conventions.

He's right, you know. Isn't this rescue mission making Lucky more spoiled?

Okay, I REALLY hate how the Pony Pals are all calling Lucky spoiled and badly behaved, but Acorn does a lot of these things and it's "cute". Lightning bites people, and she's "sick". Snow White gets sick all the time. Whatever. That's so a cry for attention. I just wish their ponies threw the occasional shoe or seemed at least a little normal.

Eve looks like a Cabbage Patch doll.

IT'S NOT A DEEP CUT???? Then where did all that blood come from????

"That pony should have been named Trouble instead of Lucky." Right. Ha ha. Rolling around on the floor here.

Go Freckles. Knock some sense into that boy.

EWWWW, how creepy does this sound??
"But even if I had time, I'm not that interested in ponies. I prefer little girls. And cats. I like cats."
OMG!!!!! Lock all your doors and windows, children. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR!

Eve totally makes it sound like she's in an abusive relationship rather than having pony trouble.

Lame. They won't let Eve in their club. Wasn't she like 9 in SS1? That's not that much younger. And yet they group her with Mimi and Rosalie. :P

SERIOUSLY, read this. If you didn't know it was about a pony, you would think this was off of Dr. Phil or something.
Anna: What else does he do that he shouldn't?
Eve: He pushes me. Once he stepped on my foot. It hurt.
Anna: If he pushes you, Eve, elbow him. You have to be firm with him.
Lulu: What else does he do that you don't like?
Eve: Sometimes he scares me. I think he's going to kick me. I'm even afraid to brush him.

Lucky's being spoiled isn't all your fault, Eve. It's actually the PONY PALS fault. I love how their not taking responsibility at all.

LAME, Lulu looks like a supermodel in every picture.

AAAAAAAAAAAAGH THEY'RE HAVING SPAGHETTI!!! AGAIN!!

Weren't Jack and Jill 6 a while back? Did they go back in time?

Lame. They watch "Black Beauty" and Eve cries. Way to go.

Eve cries herself to sleep.

Just because Eve loves Lucky doesn't mean she should get to keep him. I loved Howard (the only other dog I've ever had, and I had him for a grand total of three days), but he bit Nathan's face off. Man up, Eve.

NOT EVERYONE LIKES PONIES! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL!

Since when is Lightning Supermom? Didn't she attack Lucky the first time she met him? And wasn't Snow White the one who was all matronly? What's with the Lightning/Lucky BFF thing going on?

Susan Royer Rigby (new illustrator) can draw horses and ponies pretty well...but I miss Vivien Kubbos. She was da bomb, even if she did mix up Lulu and Anna.

Wait, Lucky is a year old? The pictures make him look like a newborn.

LOL, they decide to let Lightning teach Lucky to behave. It totally reminded me of the song "Smack" by Ugly Duckling. SMACK! You needed that, I'LL TEACH YOU HOW TO ACT. LOL cracks me up.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH the worst Anna drawing yet!!! The people in it look like SMURFS!!

Wouldn't throwing a birthday party for Lucky make him MORE spoiled?

WHAT? Pam says Eve won't be able to ride Lucky for years. Um, don't people start riding their horses at age 2?

Lucky attacks Lightning. He's so brave.

Aaargh. Eve is a great rider. I want someone to ride badly and see what happens. Wait. Rema was a bad rider and a snob. I guess the moral of this story is if you can't ride, you're an awful person. I guess this means I would not fit in in Wiggins.

Pam is the biggest pessimist EVER.

If the horse is biting and kicking your mother, HE IS NOT MAKING PROGRESS!!

Ew, an awful drawing of Pam with a really huge face.

Retarded. Lulu is being all sneaky about a present. We never actually find out what it is.

This part is so sad! I felt for Eve. Me and feel probably don't go in the same sentence, but for realz...
Dear Pony Pals,
I have a present for you. It is Lucky. [Okay, this might be sad, but COLONS!!!] I can't take care of him. You will love him and train him. He'll play with your ponies. Please let Lucky be a Pony Pal. [Since you won't let Eve be one. :P]
Your friend,
Eve
Awwwww. This is the first time in Pony Pals history that any character has shown even an ounce of maturity!

And then we see Eve's pitiful drawings of ponies. They're pretty bad and they ruin the mood.

Aaargh. They decide to board Lucky for free. WHAT'S WITH ALL THIS "FOR FREE" STUFF?

They say "yummy".

I've never seen silver sprinkles.

I THOUGHT PONY PAL TRAIL WAS A SECRET!

Lol. They make "Lucky's #1!" jokes.

Retarded. Mr. and Mrs. Greeley go for it.

Aaargh. I just wanted the parents to get rid of Lucky and have the characters actually GROW for a change. But no. No no no no.
OMG!!! I found my ancient (like, 6th grade) end to the Pony Pals. It was written like 10 years after the whole series. Lulu marries Mark, Pam marries some dude, Anna marries Charlie, and Tommy and Mike get trampled in a Winnie the Pooh parade. That was the only part I liked. It was pretty badly written. Anna was all abusive, Pam was in love with herself, and Lulu kept saying, "Omigosh! Acorn! Omigosh!" Aaagh. I love the part about the parade, though. Made my day.

I can't think of a witty title for this one, or Super Special #2: Pony Pals: The Story of Our Ponies

I used to like this one. But now I really hate all super specials. And I have no idea how Super Special #4 is going to work, because its in the perspective of all three characters, but its mostly about Pam being a peacemaker and Lulu and Anna being brats. AS USUAL.



Plot: Snow White had a son! Who knew? The son, named Snowflake, comes to Wiggins with his owner Mark. Lulu really enjoys learning fascinating things about Snow White and decides to write her life story. Pam and Anna, being copy cats, do the same thing with their ponies.
Basically the whole book is about the history of the ponies.
Yay, Snow White was raised by Mark.
Yay, Acorn was owned by someone with cerebral palsy who gained confidence from ponies.
Yay, Lightning was born in Ireland.
When they're all done learning, the Pony Pals make a book and donate it to the library.
Oh yeah, and Snowflake is being sold and Lulu wants to buy him, but can't, so the Pony Pals try to force Mrs. Wiggins to buy him. That seems to be their motto: When in doubt, make Ms. Wiggins buy a pony.
But Snowflake goes to a little girl in Falls City, which *gasp* is very close to Wiggins! The day is saved!

More notes:
Snowflake is kind of a bad name for a boy horse.

"Snow White's story". How original.

"We'll help you with spelling." Or you could use a computer...with spellcheck!

Pam has a mosquito bite on her forehead. Or so she says.

I wish the Mrs. Crandal would stop mentioning Splash and Daisy every 5 seconds.

I like how they were all shocked that Victoria Winters would want to sell horses for a living, but are completely cool with Mark doing it for a living. Cuz Mark's a hottie.

Lulu looks all Emily Strange in one picture.

Rema doesn't want Mark to think she's nice; she wants Mark to think she's sexually desirable.

Didn't we already know that Acorn had 8 owners?

Wait, how old is Mr. Olson is Acorn's mother was his childhood pony...? Acorn is way old.

Connemaras are Irish. Shockingly enough, Lightning was born in Ireland.

Lulu wants Marks' body. I remember writing a Pony Pals story where Lulu married Mark, Anna married Charlie and worked at a diner because she was poor, and Pam just became all mean and didn't marry Tommy? It was lame. And something about a black horse named Samson. Because I am obsessed with black horses named Samson.

If they want this book to seem all professional, they shouldn't type stuff like, "Snow White is my beautiful pony. Hugs and kisses forever."

Pam loves unnecessary information. "Four years ago my mother and father bought a Connemara pony from you. Her name is Lightning and she is mine." Right. Duh. And those sentences could've been combined into one shorter sentence.

Pony Pal Pancake Special? I think this is supposed to be a joke: blueberry pancakes...*stifles giggle*...WITH A CARROT ON TOP!!! Yeah, not funny.

PONIES DO NOT HAVE PLAYDATES!!! Dogs have playdates. Little kids have playdates. Ponies don't do playdates.

"Beauty looks so beautiful!" Ha. Couldn't think of a different adjective.

I like how all the Pony Pals take credit for "saving Beauty's life" when it was mostly Pam.

Sally Southack uses crutches because she has a disability, not because she fell off Acorn!!! Geez, Anna. What is he, like 3 feet off the ground?

Sally sounds Southern (ew, alliteration). "Acorn, get yourself over here!"

Sally = way pretty.

Anna likes unnecessary information, too. "Pam is going to write down what you say about Acorn. It's hard for me to listen and write at the same time. I'm dyslexic." You could've said, "I'm dyslexic."

Shetland ponies do not cause cerebral palsy.

Where do they get off talking about Tommy behind his back? They've told at least 6 people already, "He's a show offy jerk pants!"

I hate people that name their horses full sentences, such as Like the Wind, or Dapperton's Dapper Dappy Dappled Dimple. And then they give them nicknames that are totally unrelated, like Ranger, because he likes grass???

"Connemara ponies live like goats in the hills." Ooooookay, does that imply that they act like goats? A less confused way to say it would be, "Connemara ponies live in the hills like goats."

Yay, an owner that actually gives the horse credit!

"Maybe Lightning should've been left in the wild...." Yeah, and then she could starve to death with the rest of her kind.

Anna has never used e-mail. Yes.

Aaargh, because Mr. Kelly is Irish, he has to use words like "wee" and "creature" and "fine" and say stuff in Gaelic.

Winnie-the-Pooh can't be classified as a teddy bear.

There's not much Tommy can do to you when you're on horseback. Stupid Anna.

They hyphenate AND italicize "all right". Pam says it, "All-right!"

Aw, Tommy looks so cute as Winnie-the-Pooh. Acorn, on the other hand, is the ugliest Acorn I have ever seen.

"Acorn is my best friend. I can tell him all of my problems." I would not want that published.

Because I'm also dyslexic, I thought the first sentence said something about the Pony Pals eating hay. I was all, "Wth???? Is this how you get your kicks? Chewing grass? Most people smoke it...."

I doubt your dad is going to be willing to buy you another pony, Lulu. Especially since the last time you bought one it turned out to be a sickly wimp.

Mr. Sanders is in India again???

Mrs. Crandal only has two ponies: Splash and Daisy. What? What did she do before book #6??? I think she could afford another pony. BUY SNOWFLAKE!

Sucking up NEVER works.

Argh, shut up, Lulu, about stupid Snowflake. It hurts her freaking heart. Suck it up.

I thought this was a story about Lightning's life. A step-by-step process of how Lightning was put into an airplane isn't that vital to the story.

Lightning used to be anorexic. And cute. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU???

Ugh, a little joke about the stupid upside-down heart on Lightning's head.

STOP MENTIONING THOSE STUPID KITTENS!!!! We get it, Lightning's a HERO!!!

Heh. I can make copies for free at school. Although I don't really have any copies I want to make.

Lulu making me way angry. NO ONE CARES ABOUT SNOWFLAKE!

Confusing illustration on the cover of the book: there is a pasture and some grass, but the pony has no body. Just a head. Floating in the grass?

She already bought Beauty. I don't think Ms. Wiggins wants another sickly pony.

But she sees through their scam. Like it was so subtle.

"We used all of our Pony Pal power. It just didn't work this time." Or maybe you don't have any power.

Oh, because I want to waste time reading a book about ponies written by ten-year-olds.

Ew, Mark likes hanging out with Pony Pals.

I notice whenever their is a pony for sale, it's auctioned off to some little dark-haired girl who is never seen again. Besides Lulu.

That was lame. But not as lame as "The Blind Pony", which is coming up next. Bah, ten-year-olds.

Even worse than the Pony Pals, or Pony Pals #14: Pony-Sitters

How come Pam is an oldest child, Anna is a youngest child, and Lulu is an only child? I guess to further emphasize their many differences. I wish Lulu were a middle child. But then we would have more siblings to contend with. We already have Jack and Jill, the Martha Stewart clones, and Anna's older sister, who changes her name like 20 times. I'm actually in a pretty good mood today and this one wasn't that horrible, so I'm not as critical as I might be. "Circus Pony" is still in the hands of that 7-year-old....



Plot: Everyone in Wiggins, it seems, loves ponies. Mimi Kline seems to like them even more than the Pony Pals, or that annoying Rosalie kid! For her birthday, the Mr. and Mrs. Kline decide to buy her a pony and enlist Anna as her pony-sitter! Basically Anna will teach Mimi how to act around a pony and they will have a jolly old time. She will also teach Mimi how to ride.
But, because this is Anna we are talking about, she can't do anything without the Pony Pals. Now all three of them are pony-sitters!
The Klines buy an adorable Shetland pony named Tongo. Mimi loves Tongo. Tongo loves Mimi. They look so cute together.
But Mimi is a brat. She treats Tongo violently, doesn't listen to the Pony Pals, and runs around in circles. Come on, though. She's 5. She's a brat, but she's 5.
One day, Mimi runs away with Tongo and Mr. Monkey (don't ask). Her parents freak out and call the National Guard, the FBI, the CIA, and the state police.
But it turns out Mimi was just playing Hide-and-Seek with Tongo in the woods.
The Klines are convinced, like Anna's parents in Book #2, that Tongo is a bad influence and send him away.
But the Pony Pals tell them that Tongo is a good boy, and the Klines cave.
Mimi and Tongo forever.
That was boring.

More notes:
They don't actually explain who Mimi is in the beginning. And since when does Anna have neighbors besides Lulu?

"We call ourselves the Pony Pals." I don't think the nice people care, Anna.

Tongo is a pretty cute name. Totally naming my pony Tongo.

"Small ponies can be spoiled." So can big ponies....

Awwww, Bubble is a cute name, too.

It really rubs me the wrong way when people refer to horses as blonde.

I thought Mr. Olson worshiped Acorn? Apparently not?

Jeanne Betancourt needs to use semicolons instead of making a new sentence.

Doesn't kickball require more than two people? Wouldn't it be "kicking a ball" or "playing soccer" rather than "kickball"?

Yeah. Pulling the pony's tail. Not smart.

We now know that the Pony Pals eat at the diner for free. Lame.

I want a purple riding helmet really bad.

Really, how hard is it to ride? You sit. They pull. Horse goes. Well, when you're a little kid. When you're older, they start on the stupid technicalities.

Mimi talks to herself in third person.

And she wants to see Tongo's bellybutton.

Do ponies really not have bellybuttons? I'm going to check up on that.

Tongo so ugly in all the pictures.

Where do they keep Tongo if they're riding up and down the driveway? I'm not seeing a stable for this family.

AAAAAAAAAGH! You don't have to know that much about horses to let a little kid play with one. Just utilize proper safety habits.

I hate this sentence:
"He did whatever Lulu asked him to do. Walk. Trot. Or halt."
WHY??? WHY CAN'T YOU USE COMMAS????

I remember class trips to the museum. I've never been to an actual museum with dinosaurs and paintings and stuff, tho. Only to the Washington State History Museum or whatever and that stupid Seattle Art Museum. Jealous.

Mrs. Bell is an idiot.
Pam: After, we're having dinner at the diner with Lulu's father.
Lulu: He's going to tell us about his trip to India. He was in India studying monkeys. (you didn't have to say India twice)
Mimi: I have a monkey! He's MY Mr. Monkey.
Mrs. Bell: Mr. Monkey is a stuffed animal.
NO. DUH.

They saw a painting that looked just like Mr. Monkey! I totally pictured a sock monkey when they mentioned Mr. Monkey. *shudder* What kind of sicko takes time and energy to paint sock monkeys?

Mwahahaha, they think something terrible has happened to Mimi.

They've been at the museum all day. Of course Mimi isn't with them.

They think someone kidnapped Mimi. Yeah. Right. Mrs. Bell was there, she would've heard the screaming, or at least someone randomly walking in. How exactly are they picturing this scene?
Kidnapper: Hey, kid.
Mimi: WHAT?
Kidnapper: Come with me.
Mimi: Okay. Let's go visit Tongo!
I bet he was wearing a ski mask, too. Isn't a ski mask the red flag?

They think maybe she went to visit a friend. I totally expected Mrs. Kline to say, "SHE HAS NO FRIENDS!"

Still not saying poop. Now they're saying "pony plop". Better than "you-know-what".

Oh. She's playing Hide and Seek with Tongo. OF COURSE. In the woods. At night. No danger here!

What? Pam and Lulu are working their butts of, too, but Anna is the only one getting paid????

Mr. Monkey is kind of cute....

Why is it Anna's fault that Mimi is losing her pony? Can't figure that out.

The Klines own a hardware store. Didn't know that either.

Oh, Anna didn't teach her enough safety and let her think she could be a Pony Pal. I'm sure that's why she ran away, Anna.

Mimi wasn't really lost. But the Pony Pals withhold this information till the end.

Heh. Mrs. Bell is all Italian.

Rosalie and the Pony Pals seem to have been frozen in time, because everyone else grows older but they're still the same age.

Mimi is subjecting Rosalie to slave labor.

AAAAAAH! Mimi is going to grow up to be a serial killer, because she blames everything on Mr. Monkey/split personality.

The Klines think Anna is on the crack corn, too.

The author felt she had to describe how each character laughed at Mimi's witty joke.

Mimi has more energy than a million batteries. Heh.

Oh boy. That was...really boring. But Super Special #2 is up next! Ooh, a special edition pony topper??? Check it!

The Stories of Our Ponies
Pony Pals Super Special #2

The Pony Pals want to write a book about their ponies. They interview past owners, and even meet Snow White's foal! This great story comes with your very own Pony Pal pencil with a fuzzy pony topper and specially designed mini-notebook, plus a free pony portrait bookmark and two collecting cards.

You'll love this very special Pony Pals book!

Man. I guess Acorn didn't father Snow White's baby. :(
OMG, I read the plot summary for Super Special #4 and Snow White and Acorn HATE EACH OTHER! LOL! And I thought they were lovers. Wow, was I wrong. So Lightning and Pam have to play peacemaker. Not peachmaker.
So jealous. I want a fuzzy pony topper.