Mischief implies abuse, or Pony Pals #30: Pony-4-Sale

Yay, I finished my 2007 playlist! This isn't the most flattering picture of Pam. It's as if they WANTED her to look like a pig. Cloud looks fake. No pony is that skinny.



Plot: Pam and Lightning are riding around, as usual, when she stumbles across a birthday party featuring Maggie the Magician. Since it's obviously none of her business, she goes to check it out. What she sees is a very mean magician and a very neglected pony. She finds out from Maggie that Cloud, the pony, will soon be sold for the meat price if no one else buys him.
Instead of calling PETA or the Humane Society or any other animal rights organization like a normal person, Pam calls on the Pony Pals and they send Anna, who is "the best actress", to pretend like she is interested in buying Cloud, in order to lengthen his life. Then they all go back to Pam's house and write a letter to Mr. O'Connor, the Irish guy who owns Echo Farms, asking about Cloud.
Next, they send Lulu, who finds out that Cloud is a Connemara (just like Lightning), was originally from Echo Farm (where Lightning is also from), and throws his riders; she finds this last part out from experience, however, as Pam convinces her to ride Cloud and the skinny little nag throws her. This makes Lulu furious at Pam for letting her ride a "dangerous animal", who insists Lulu is just a bad rider.
Uh oh. It seems the Pony Pals are having a fight.
Finally, Lulu flees when Pam refuses to apologize.
Hark! A reply from Mr. O'Connor! He says he doesn't remember Maggie the Musician, but he does remember selling Cloud to a boy named Sandy Young, including in the e-mail Sandy's new phone number. What a coincidence, he lives in Wiggins!
Instead of calling, they ask Dr. Crandal if he ever had a patient named Cloud. No go.
Pam complains a lot about Lulu and insists that "if she really cared about Pony Pal problems, she'd be there".
Lulu does come back, armed with several good ideas of how to find Sandy. She and Pam continue to ignore each other, making Anna increasingly anxious. Finally, Anna explodes and tells the two of them that their fight is stupid and that they should get over themselves. Pam apologizes...after Lulu does. Loser.
They use a cool little trick on the internet to find Sandy's house, ride on over there, and tell him about his old pony. Sandy flips out, grabs some money from the bank, and promptly buys Cloud back from Maggie the Magician. His mother scolds Maggie for being abusive. The Pony Pals conclude that they will be friends forever. The Pony Pals, not Maggie and Mrs. Young.

More notes:
Maggie: What do we say to make magic happen?
Children: Ab-ra-ca-da-bra and wow-wow kaaa-zoo!
Even as a child, I'd have a hard time believing that.

Maggie makes a bird fly out of her hat. Pam is all, "That's not very nice for the bird." Suck it up, Pam.

:O Maggie squirts Cloud with water! ABUSE! ABUSE!

The twins are still 5??

Pam bursts into tears when she hears Maggie's plan to sell Cloud.

THEY'RE HAVING GRILLED-CHEESE SANDWHICHES AGAIN!!! I swear, that's all they eat! Spaghetti, grilled-cheese, and brownies! Actually, that's all I ever eat, so hey.

They think Anna is the best actress. And yet her pony starred in a movie, not her.

"'Okay,' agreed Anna. 'How's this?' Anna put on a sweet smile. 'Hello, Ms. Sullivan. My mommy and daddy said I could have a pony. I heard you have a pony for sale. Can I see it?'"
Yeah, that's believable.

This is how Pam and Anna became friends:
Pam: You can ride my pony. My mommy can teach you how.
They've been together ever since.

It's like there are only 4 pony breeds: Connemaras, Shetlands, Welsh ponies, and Morgans, even though MORGANS AREN'T PONIES!

What a coincidence, Lightning and Cloud are from the same place! Because there's only one place to get Connemaras, didn't you know?

Omg. Guess what they're having at Pam's house for dinner.
Spaghetti
and
meatballs.

Lulu asks Mrs. Crandal if she'd be interested in buying Cloud. The Pony Pals get mad because she "broke a Pony Pal rule". The following ensues.
Pam: Why did you ask my mother to buy Cloud?
Lulu: I thought it was a good idea.
Anna: You should have talked to Pam and me about it first. It's a Pony Pal rule.
First of all, it's "Pam and I", and that's a stupid rule. "I'm going to the bathroom, guys." "No, I think it would be best if you didn't." "But I need to." "Oh dear, this calls for 3 ideas." Please continue.
Pam: You asked her at the worst time. My mother needs someone to take care of ponies, not another pony to take care of.
Lulu: It's not big deal. She said no.
Yaay Lulu.
Pam is still all, "BREAKING A PONY PAL RULE IS A BIG DEAL!!!"

Aargh, just call PETA!!!! What's with this sneaking around???

Cloud throws Lulu while Pam screams from the sidelines, "REIN HIM IN! REIN HIM IN!"

You suck, Pam.
Maggie: You pulled too hard on his mouth. Maybe you haven't ridden so much, after all.
Pam: She hasn't.

Omg, Pam is way awful!!!
Lulu: Pam should know if a pony is safe to ride. I trusted her.
Pam: And I trusted that you know how to ride.
Lulu: You're so smart about ponies. You knew it was dangerous for me to tget on Cloud and you let me do it! You care more about solving Pony Pal problems than you do about your Pony Pals.
So true. You've hit the nail on the proverbial head, Lulu. Pam's weak response:
Pam: Maybe you did pull too hard on his mouth!

Anna's not too helpful, either.
"This Pony Pal problem is more important than your little fight."
Cult behavior. This is classic cult behavior.

Lame. "A woman came out leading a Great Dane. She looked like she'd been crying. She smiled at Pam. 'Your father saved my Mitzy's life,' said the woman."
I can just see Dr. Crandal being all, "All in a day's work."

So stalker. Let's go to his house instead of calling him!!

Pam apologizes for being stupid...and Lulu apologizes for breaking a Pony Pal rule. If she hadn't, they probably would've flogged her. I don't think she should've apologized. Lulu, not Pam. I'm actually on her side for once.

Sandy used to live on a farm, but they had to sell it because it wasn't making enough money. That sounds JUST like the movie Acorn and Bette Fleming were in..."Megan's Last Ride" or whatever.

He had a cat named Toots..........

Ew, Sandy looks like Johnathan Taylor Thomas.

Pam prides herself in being a professional detective. Sandy OBVIOUSLY hasn't done much detective work. Whatever.

They go back to the diner...and eat some brownies.

Wait a minute...Sandy wants to buy Cloud back...but he lives in an APARTMENT. And if his parents are really as poor as he says, why did they give him the money they made from selling Cloud??

Anna fixes that problem. It's sort of a bribe, too: Sandy will work for Mrs. Crandal in exchange for boarding Cloud. Nice.

WHAT IS WITH PEOPLE AND RIDING??
Anna: What if Maggie has ruined Cloud for riding? What if he never lets you ride him again?
Sandy: I don't care. I still want to save Cloud.
Well, DUH! It's not like you would be, "Oh, in that case, let's just let him DIE!"

"Sandy kissed Cloud's cheek. Cloud pulled away from him.
'Touch him someplace else,' Pam told Sandy."
:O

Whaaat? Ponies have wolf teeth? Confused. I'm looking that up.

Lulu: And we can make Cloud a warm mash. We'll make it extra soft and delicious.
That struck me as hilariously funny.

"'Lightning and Cloud are friends forever,' Lulu whispered in Pam's ear. 'Just like us.'"
Even after your fight? And Pam's controlling behavior? And the FLOGGING?

An Avalon about unicorns is next...on Kid's WB. Only it's not the WB anymore. It's my Q2, or whatever.

Every journey begins with a step, or Unicorns of Balinor #1: The Road to Balinor

I used to LOVE this series. I mean, an author that catered to unicorn-loving adolescents was good enough for me. I wasn't as critical than as I am now. Rereading this, I have NO IDEA why I liked it so much. Actually, I recall really hating this first one, but the rest of the series tickled my fancy, lol.



Plot: Arianna Langley doesn't remember anything. No, she does not have short-term memory loss, but she was in a car accident recently. That explains why she's in a wheelchair and her legs hurt so badly. But two people named Ann and Frank come to the hospital and insist that she is their foster daughter, and that she was in a car accident with her horse, Chase, and now he has a huge scar on his head. They take her and a mysterious dog named Lincoln (who has given her a ruby necklace; weird, yeah, but it's important) back home to Glacier River Farm.
Meanwhile, back in Celestial Valley (the magical land of unicorns, of course), Atalanta the Dream Speaker is fretting over the loss of Princess Arianna. That's right; Ari's a princess. Turns out an evil being named Entia, or the Shifter, exiled her parents, kidnapped her brothers, and almost killed her and Chase, who is actually the Sunchaser, Lord of all animals in Balinor, the land he and Ari come from.
Back to real life. Ari continues to heal and learns to ride Chase again, with the help of Dr. Bohnes. Unfortunately, Ann and Frank are broke, so they decide to lease Chase to a rich girl and her parents. The rich girl's name is Lori Carmichael and is so stereotyped it's not even funny: blonde, spoiled, pretty, prone to temper tantrums....
Ari hates Lori and doesn't want to give Chase up. Duh. Nothing really interesting happens except for Chase starts talking in Ari's head and Lori blames Ari for Chase's bad behavior, so she is severely punished (not).
Finally, she can't take it anymore. Not wanting to lose Chase, Ari runs away with him, but Lori follows with Lincoln. All four of them fall into a nearby cave (hmmm, how convenient), and land in Balinor. To be continued....

More notes:
Of course the main character has to be a princess. Mary-Sue much?

Oh, and her bonded unicorn is the Lord of all Animals.

Wth, Mary Stanton totally copied the Eye of Sauron. Actually, Peter Jackson was the one who took "the Eye" so literally, and the first movie came out in 2001, so in reality, HE copied HER.

Rednal of the Fiery Coals? What kind of name is that? He used to be my favorite unicorn.

Numinor seems like an Andalusian.

OMG, this is the unicorn's rainbow song:
Red and yellow, orange and green
Purple, silver, and blue
The rainbow we make defends those we guard
In Balinor's cities and fields.
Lol, that doesn't even rhyme! I'm totally putting this to music.

Ha. Atalanta says "bullocks".

So the Shifter is an anarchist??

Atalanta and Numinor are so annoying as a married couple. Always arguing. And they both get on my nerves: Atalanta is all demure and beautiful, and Numinor has too much testosterone.

I'm having a lot of trouble picturing Lincoln the collie. They say he's black and gold? But on the cover of #4 he's all chestnut and beautiful.

Wth, the names of her guardians are ANN and FRANK?? Wth, if they're trying to be funny, it's not working.

I like how every unicorn but Chase, Numinor, and Atalanta get a really brief description. Seriously:
It was a stallion. The light gleamed on his bronze coat. His chest and quarters were heavily muscled, his withers well-shaped. But it was his head and eyes that were the most beautiful to Ari. His forehead was broad, the muzzle well-shaped, with delicately flared nostrils. As he stepped forward, she looked deep into his eyes, large, brown, and full of sorrow.
First of all, there are some definite grammatical and punctuation errors in that, but it's so obvious that Mary Stanton is in love with Chase. How do you have well-shaped withers???

Frank: Well, you slept in the palace, I mean - in the house of course.
Nice save.

Okay, whatever. If she was REALLY injured in a car accident (which she so wasn't), how was Chase hurt? And who was driving? And why aren't they hurt? Ari is so gullible.

Atalanta has no sense of humor.

I like how all the matronly unicorns are fat.

I wouldn't want my horse leased out to someone without my permission, but Ari is so selfish.

Aaagh, I hate Chase.
Chase: Ah yes, I know him. But will he obey the Great Me?
I think that was supposed to be funny. Ari's probably giggling her modest head off.

Oh dear, this part of the woods must be dangerous, because no birds sing here and the wildflowers are scarce! :P This isn't Bambi!!!

Who names they're horse Shy-No-More? Or Beecher?

This sentence doesn't use the right tense.
They got even more prominent when she'd told him about the way the caves seem to draw her in, beckoning.
Shouldn't it be "seemed"? And "she had told" is incorrect. HOW DID THIS WOMAN GET PUBLISHED?

Okay, forealz, if you're a bad rider, that doesn't make you an awful person. I hate to say it, but Lori's "riding" verges on animal abuse.

"GIVE HIM THE WHIP! GIVE HIM THE WHIP!" Who says that??? I'd call the police. And PETA.

If you're abusing an animal, it's not your place to order it to be shot. "ALL I DID WAS KICK IT! AND THEN IT BIT ME! I WANT IT SHOT!"

Oh no, Chase starts talking.
"Little man! You shall be dirt beneath my hooves, little man. I will crush his bones with the Snake!"
And Ari's all, "*gasp* *hyperventilate* Oh----my----gosh----I----think-----Chase----is----talking???"

I like how Lori's dad doesn't cuss; he just says "darn" a lot.

Heh. Ari gets attacked by flies.

Ann wants to home-school Ari. Boooo....

Let's see, a dog came into your hospital room and gave you a big ruby necklace, you can't remember anything about your past, and your horse just started talking. Ari, aren't you even the least bit suspicious?

Aaaaagh. Atalanta wasn't talking about saving Chase THAT WAY!! Stupid, stupid, stupid.

ROFL, Lincoln attacks Lori.

Aaaargh. Why does Ari have to be all perfect and Mary Sue? She should slap Lori. But no. She decides to "ignore her". Sweetie, that NEVER WORKS.

:P She leaves a "coded" note for Doctor Bohnes.
"Sell the DOG LEASH in my sock drawer!
PLEASE!
Love, Ari."
Yeah, that wasn't WAY OBVIOUS, seeing as DOG LEASH was in CAPITALS.

His name is TOBIANO. I'm seeing a paint here, not an appaloosa.

I hate how they make a huge deal about Tobiano being so "rude". I like him.

How does a black and white unicorn fit in the rainbow?

Yeah, a cave that smells like death and is inhabited by flies. Let's go there!

Rofl. Lori unashamedly insults Ari. That's refreshing.

Lol, Linc is funny, too. And he has an accent.

And he talks to himself?

OH NO, AN ARMY OF ANGRY BLACK UNICORNS!!! Of course black is evil. I personally think red is an "eviller" color than black.

Lori: What was that?
Ari: Uh, bears?
Yeah, that's believable.

ROFL, this is my favorite part in the whole book: Ari looks around and sees a sign that says, "Welcome to Balinor". LOL. I find that really hilarious. That seems so anachronistic.

Yeah, so there you have it. I've been stalling, but I'll post another Balinor tomorrow, and then the first of the Horseshoe trilogies.

Lassie! You're home!, or Pony Pals #27: The Pony and the Missing Dog

Guess who's back? You'll have to guess. Fine. After 3 illustrators, Paul Bachem is finally back, and the illustrations are worse than ever. Actually, not true: Paul seems to realize the innacuracy of his drawings and has gotten a lot better. Even Anna's drawings are top rate! It's just the story that sucks....



Plot: Pam is so frustrated with her dog, Woolie. He keeps chasing Lightning and being mischievous (pronounced MISS-chuh-vuss), so she loses her temper and scolds him. On their trail ride, the Pony Pals question her methods, and Pam feels the need to apologize to Woolie.
But she can't.
Because he's GONE.
It seems Woolie has run away. Pam is heartbroken, pulling a Lulu and moaning about how it's all her fault. Lulu, on the other hand, keeps a cool head, and organizes a rescue mission to save/help/find Woolie. It's an odd case of role reversal, folks.
After much searching, Woolie is still nowhere to be found. The Pony Pals enlist the help of Ms. Wiggins and Mike Lacey. The 5 of them split up and search Ms. Wiggins' property. Hark! What's that? A bark? Lightning finds Woolie behind a bush...WITH HIS LEG CAUGHT IN A TRAP!!!! Way to copy #10. As Pam is hyperventilating, Mike appears and saves the day, removing the trap from Woolie's leg. Woolie is good as new and he and Pam make up. BFFs forever. And it turns out Mike has a soul.

More notes:
Aaaargh. "Black and brown" and "reddish brown" do not suffice as pony descriptions. I want breed, height, color, and markings.

How come Jack and Jill are 5 again? Did they go back in time?? They were 6 a few books ago.

Agh, a whole paragraph of choppy writing and repetition.

Oh no, Jack and Jill are convinced they've found Bambi. There's 20 whole pages on how they find an "abandoned" fawn and want to take care of it, but have to release it back into the wild. So boring.

Paul's first drawing is a failure. This is one OBESE fawn, and Woolie looks like a combination Seelyham Terrier and chubby Golden Retriever. When I say "sheepdog", I mean SHEEPDOG!

Oh look, it's Anna riding on some pony! OH! IT'S ACORN! And who's that rider on Snow White? COULD IT BE LULU??? Like we don't know who rides who already.

Lulu: Oh, my. This is a very young fawn.
Way to sound like a grandma, Lulu.

BAM, Lulu shocks the twins with her nature knowledge. Does leave their fawns alone in the forest all the time! DUH! Actually, I didn't know that.

Anna makes fun of Jack. Heh.

Aaagh, Jill is SO ANNOYING. "He's mine. I'm supposed to take care of him. I already love him." And not one exclamation point in that emotional statement.

WHY CAN'T THEY SAY FOAL?? It's always "baby pony", "baby pony", "baby pony".

Ugh, Paul's second drawing makes Pam look like Michael Jackson, Jill like an Oompaloompa, and the fawn like a legless sack of bread with a deer head sticking out of it. I take back what I said about good illustrations.

Lol. "Pam had a big painting of Lightning hanging in her bedroom. It was an Anna Harley original." That just cracked me up for some reason.

If Anna ever mentions those brownies again....

And Paul's pony drawings STILL look like crap.

Wth? Now Woolie looks like an Airdale?

They call Lightning a boy. *crickets*

Oh no, someone is trapping on her land again! Gee, it couldn't be TOMMY, could it? Oh no, it couldn't be, because he got a WARNING.

Mrs. Bell is an idiot. "Gee, I let Woolie out a few hours ago and he hasn't returned. I guess he REALLY had to go!"

Ah yes, the Pony Pals are going out on another adventure without telling their parents. Oh, excuse me, Pam leaves a note.

Yes, Pam, it might be dead, but it wouldn't be your fault; it's stupid Mrs. Bell's.

I'm sure EVERYONE knows what a dog's pawprint looks like. HOW DO YOU MIX THAT UP WITH A RACCOON PAWPRINT???

You weren't mean, Pam. There's a fine line between discipline and abuse.

And Woolie wouldn't be mad at you, because he's a sweet, forgiving dog. (Said Lulu.)

Lightning is a girl again. Wow, two sex changes in one day.

Dang, Lulu gives some good pep talks.

Pam keeps moaning and moaning.

Yeah, I'm sure those posters will be effective.
Missing Dog. Medium sized dog. Golden color. Red collar with I.D. If found, please call 555-4362.
I'm totally calling that number. But they had Anna DRAW a picture instead of putting a photograph. Wha?? And wouldn't it be better to put BREED, and his NAME??? Just wondering.

Yay, the Quinns have returned! You remember those delightful old people from #18, don't you?

Pam is convinced everyone is in love with Pony Pals.

Lol, Pam repeats herself. "Have you seen a small blond sheepdog in the last 24 hours? He has fluffy blond hair and a red collar." I thought he was medium sized.

Oh, the dog Mrs. Quinn saw isn't Woolie because he didn't have a collar. I mean, forget the fact that he acts JUST LIKE Woolie and looks JUST LIKE Woolie. There's no way that collar could've come off.

Lol, Paul makes the Quinns look just like my grandparents.

Lulu = way short.

Apparently Pam goes around kissing people's kittens.

A small tuft of hair could easily be mistaken for a bunny.

The little boy in the picture looks like a little girl. And he has a boy named DOGGIE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH.

Pam makes a little rap. It's kind of funny.

I'm probaby wrong, but I was pretty sure they'd already look on Ms. Wiggins' land.

"We need more people to help search for Woolie." Isn't that why you put up posters?

ANNA DID A GOOD DRAWING! LIKE, REALLY GOOD! AND ACCURATE!!!!!!!!

"Mike Lacey and Tommy Rand were older than the Pony Pals, but acted very immature." Duh, boys mature slower than girls. But then again, when are boys ever mature?

I don't know, Mike's semi-all right and all, but Ms. Wiggins is way too trusting. "Remember when Mike and Tommy set up traps on your land and stole our ponies that one time?" "Oh, but Mike would NEVER do something like that!!"

Oh wait, her exact words are, "But Mike is a different boy when he works for me. You'll see." Btw, Mike's job: What exactly does he do??

Lol.
Lulu: He better behave. Or else.
Yeah, you're like 4'9" and you're in 4th grade. And you're a girl. Not much you can do.

Mike apologizes for calling the Pony Pals "Pony Pests"?

A really good accurate picture of Lightning that actually makes her look like a pony and not a donkey??

THEY SAY POOP!

Yeah, Woolie's leg is caught in a trap, so I doubt his growling has anything to do with you.

Of course, Pam blames him for the traps. Not prejudiced.

Wait, Woolie was in a trap for 24 hours, and his leg isn't broken??? And he hasn't died of dehydration??

The last picture is really good...except for Woolie. But hey. He's getting better.

The Pony Pals tend to repeat themselves. "Thank you. Thank you for helping me find Woolie!"

Agh. I hate that Woolie.
I also hate the library, so I don't know how soon I'm getting any Pony Pals, Madison Finn, Unicorns of Balinor, or Avalon books. I do have Pony Pals #28, so I'll probably do that sometime this week.

Not a tacky Ingrid Bergman line, or FTFO Madson Finn #3: Play it Again

Doesn't Hart look kind of Clark Kent-y? And Fiona's all hitting on him while Madison looks on cheerfully? I don't think so. Maybe she's busy reveling in her position as director or stage manager or whatever. This is seriously one of my favorite Madison Finn books. Don't know why. Cuz I love junior high drama AND real drama - theater, that is. Ha. Aaargh.



Plot: Far Hills is putting on a show! Something about commemorating a staff member, bla bla bla, so they're having three nights of entertainment: the 7th grade will do "The Wiz", the 8th grade will do "Guys and Dolls", and 9th grade will do New York showtunes? WTH??
Everyone wants to try out for "The Wiz" except Madison. She has stage fright. :P Lame. She decides to be stage manager instead.
Yay. Everyone else gets a part. Aimee is Addaperle, Ivy is Glinda, Egg is Tinman, Fiona is Evillene, Hart is the Wiz, and social outcast Lindsay Frost is Dorothy.
Rehearsals are fun, but Ivy is a real witch. Ha ha ha, another pun. But what's this? Amy and Fiona are being nice to Ivy? And hanging out with her? And excluding Madison? Sounds like DRAMA!!!
Lindsay is really nice, but everyone makes fun of her. Madison likes Lindsay, but doesn't want to be a social outcast, so she ditches her.
The play is a success. Mr. and Mrs. Finn start talking again. Hart introduces Madison to his grandma. Excuse, me, ya-ya. He's Greek. And Madison gets Lindsay to wear her hair down (literally) and go to the cast party. And Aimee and Fiona still like Madison.

More notes:
What the heck???? "You'll probably get the part, Walter. I mean, Egg. *giggle blush giggle*" Retarded.

ROFL!!!! Hart comes to talk to Madison AND SHE RUNS AWAY. Then she runs into Drew in the hall. Stalker....

What the heck? Why did Laura Dower feel the need to humanize Drew and give him issues with his half brother?? It was sort of a nice touch and sort of an overkill?

Hey. There's nothing wrong with being in a play. I can see you thinking Aimee superficial, but not Fiona.

Wth, why do they put the dog on the cast list??? Not funny.

Right. Cast the fat guy as the Lion. LOL, Chet is playing a Munchkin.

Lindsay dresses way 80's. She sounds kind of nice, but it's kind of obvious why she's unpopular. She starts explaining the plot of "Ozma of Oz" in elaborate detail and is like way excited about it. But Aimee is so mean about it.

Ha. Fiona tells Aimee that she sounds like Ivy when she calls people names. Which is basically calling her a slut.

I HATE BASEBALL.

Why is having a keypal such a big deal? Madison acts like her friends are going to freak out because she has an online friend from Washington.

Joey O'Neill? Who's he? And since when do they call him "Nose Plucker"? I thought that was Lance's nickname.

PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH BOY. MAJOR TRAUMA. Lol.

Does Egg have a crush on anything that moves? "Rose is a babe."

Laura Dower admits that boys like naked girls. Or at least half naked girls.

Hart is such a nerd, but it's way adorable. He's all, "Aw man, they're cutting out like half the songs!!!" Because he knows them all by heart.... ANOTHER PUN!!!

"The Finnster has a Phin?" I was really tired or something when I read this because I started laughing way hard.

Whoa, Fiona implies that Madison hates Aimee?? That's the first mean thing she's ever said. Besides the Ivy thing. But that was funny and Aimee deserved it.

Wth, in the first book Madison answers the queston, "A/S/L?" all the time, but now she's like, "TOO UNCOMFORTABLE CUZ OF ONLINE STRANGERZZZ!"

"Sucka" is not a bad word. Lighten up, moderators.

Aww, sad. Bigwheels' parents are splitting up and they chose NOT to tell her younger brother and sister.

Sorry, Lindsay, but everyone is NOT being nice to you.

Madison is ashamed of Aimee? HA!!!

Wth? Ivy and Aimee's banter is way annoying.

HAAAAATE HAAAATE HAAAAAAAAAATE Aimee.

Lol. They make costumes in "junior high sizes".

ANOTHER HARRY POTTER REFERENCE!!!!

I'm soooo glad we dont' have to read "The Diary of Anne Frank" in school. Unless we do and they've postponed it till high school. CRAP.

Ha. Egg calls Aimee "wicked bossy".

Mariah is so emo. She starts talking about how people don't understand the way she dresses, the way she lives, the way she expresses herself....

Didn't Aimee say in #1 that Rose was a crappy dancer? And now she's telling her TO HER FACE that she's really great? You lie through your teeth, blondie.

AAAAAH, SHE GETS SLOPPY JOE ON HER SHIRT. That's so awful.

QUIT DEFENDING IVY!!!

Lame. Madison ditches Lindsay because Aimee tells her to. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF.

OOOOOOH, Madison tells Ivy to stop wasting her time.

Wow. An awkward bonding moment between Madison and Aimee. Aimee is in the bathroom having her period. Awkward.

Lol. Reminds me of Radio Disney. "I want to give a shout out to Hart Jones, my true love!!!"

Drew is way making me laugh. Fiona forgets to invite Maddie to the "Wizard of Oz" nite at his house and he calls her up and is freaking out. "I'M SORRY. I swear I thought one of the girls was gonna ask you. Fiona said she would. I SWEAR."

Waaaaah, I miss Oggy. Phin reminds me so much of him.

No duh. Cheaters get expelled.

Chocolate = worst dog name ever.

"Do we come out for standing ovations? How do we line up for our curtain call?"
"That's assuming people are clapping." LOL!!!

SOOOO mean.
Ivy: Gee, I hope fatso doesn't eat all the Liver Snaps for herself.

Oh no. IVY TOUCHED HART'S ARM!!

Lol. Ivy wanted to be the program's centerfold.

They call Aimee the "Dancing Queen". ABBA much?

Madison tells Ivy to break her leg. Lol.

HART TOUCHED MADISON'S ARM!!

Aww, touching moment with Madison observing Lindsay, a great singer, in the spotlight.

"Hey Finnster. This is my ya ya." Heh.

Awww. It turns out Lindsay was just being positive; she knows that no one really likes her. It's so depressing.

Ew, Madison has a "runner-up" crush on creepy Roger Gillespie.

Lol. Drew came over and said hello to the three girls. "Hey, Madison!"

I don't think Aimee has a chance with Mr. 9th grader.

OH NO, IVY GIVES HART HER NUMBER!!

Lol. "Guess they weren't sleeping..."

Madison's Computer Tip: (they have these at the end of every book but I've been forgetting to post them) TIME FLIES WHEN YOU'RE ONLINE. KEEP AN EYE ON THE CLOCK AND DON'T FORGET YOUR FRIENDS.

Lol. OMG, I MADE A MADDIE FINN COLLAGE! LOOKIT!

I got two pickles, hey hey hey, or Pony Pals #24: Unlucky Pony

Aaargh, this book was so sad. Actually, it mostly sucked, but there was one part that seriously brought tears to my eyes. Yeah, Jeanne Betancourt gets a new illustrator, but fires her and gets a new one in the next book!! Then in #27, it's back to Paul Bachem!! Will we ever be free?



Plot: Remember Lucky? The annoying bratty pony with no mother? The one the Pony Pals finally got rid of? Well, he's back, and more spoiled than ever. Aaargh. Eve Greeley, his owner, is putting up with some pretty dangerous behaviors. Her parents want to get rid of him, so the Pony Pals decide to help Eve train Lucky.
Surprise! Lucky is a brat! He even tramples through someone's corn field!
Eve is pretty sad, but is surprisingly mature about the whole thing, and decides to give Lucky to the Pony Pals rather than see him shipped to a new owner. :*(
Yay! The Pony Pals think up a new plan! Lucky can live at the Crandal's for the time being! Lightning will show him who's boss! And Eve can ride Daisy! Yay!
What promised to be a realistic picture of life with ponies is once again disappointing. But hey, what did you expect from Jeanne Betancourt?

More notes:
Nice, Jeanne. Copy the intro of #3.

Pam insinuates that Eve is retarded because she has crappy handwriting.

Surprise! A new illustrator!! Anna looks normal, but Pam looks at least 60 and Lulu looks like a super model. I wonder who the illustrator's favorite character is.

Another example of Pony Pal hypocrisy: Anna and Lulu gallop up to Pam. I thought that was "dangerous".

AAAAAAAAAAGH! This is the worst letter ever. How old is this girl?:
Dear Pony Pals,
It's me. Eve Greeley. [great way to not use a comma or colon] I adopted the baby pony from you. I named him Lucky. You said that was okay. [GET TO THE POINT!]
Lucky is so cute. He is full of energy. All he wants to do is play and kick and run around. He loves treats.
Do you remember Freckles? [Yes, I could never forget that name.] She doesn't want to play with Lucky anymore. [HA!] But Lucky plays with me.
My dad and mom say Lucky is too hard to handle. But I love him. [AAAAAAAGH!] I want to train him, then I can ride him some day. [What? There should definitely be a so in there.]
Can you help me train Lucky? Please? My dad says it is okay. Our telephone number is 354-90000. [That telephone number does not exist. There should only be 3 zeroes. Get your facts straight, Jeanne.] Please help Lucky and me. [LUCKY AND I! LUCKY AND I!]
Your friend,
Eve
P.S. Lucky will be one year old next week.

Way to repeat yourself.

WHY ARE THEY SUDDENLY ON VACATION!!?? Wait a minute! It's been a year since they took care of Lucky. ALL OF THEM ARE STILL TEN YEARS OLD!!! How many summers have passed since then?? THEY'RE FROZEN IN TIME!

Heh. I remember the first time the ponies met Lucky. Acorn and Lightning tried to kill him.

Omg, Jeanne totally worships Lulu in this one. She's all talking about Lulu is soooo saaaaad not to have a mother, so that makes her love baby animals with no mothers. *sob sob sob* Not. :P

I'm really trying to figure out how Snow White could've gotten trapped in that barbed wire.

Continuity error. Anna got Acorn when she was 9, not 10.

Pam spells "cozy" wrong, and Anna puts too much food in Lucky's feed bin. Didn't she freak out when a 6 year old overfed Acorn?

OMG!!! THE GREELEYS GET IN AN ACCIDENT! THE VIOLENCE! THE VIOLENCE!!

But no one is seriously hurt. Lucky has a cut on his leg.

Whatever. This illustrator can't draw black people. Pam looks like a boy with a huge mouth.

Yeah, let the Pony Pals go find Lucky. Smart.

They care more about the station wagon than they do the Greeleys.

LOL, the Pony Pals are friends with a police officer. They haven't been doing time, have they?

Okay, I thought Lucky wasn't badly hurt, but they find enough blood on the ground to fill a horror movie.

OMG, Pam is such a pessimist!! She keeps thinking Lucky will bleed to death!

Bla bla bla, another examples of how ponies are AAAALWAYS right.

BAY AND BROWN ARE NOT THE SAME THING!!!

Aaagh. The guy's mad because the pony's trampling his corn. Give him a break.

LOL!
"'I'll give you five minutes,' the man said. The corners of his mouth turned up in an evil grin. 'And since it's your pony, you're responsible for the damage to my corn crop.'" OMG THAT'S SO CONNIVING AND HILARIOUS! The Pony Pals never have to pay, tho. :P

Pam starts singing "All the Pretty Horses" to lure Lucky towards her. Wth? Is she trying to seduce him?

Yeah, that's right. It's not just a shallow cut on the leg, Dr. Crandal.

The farmer calls her an idiot and questions her methods. LOL it's cracking me up.

Ooookay, this is so not how I pictured Mr. Farmer. He looks like one of the people that heads the Star Wars conventions.

He's right, you know. Isn't this rescue mission making Lucky more spoiled?

Okay, I REALLY hate how the Pony Pals are all calling Lucky spoiled and badly behaved, but Acorn does a lot of these things and it's "cute". Lightning bites people, and she's "sick". Snow White gets sick all the time. Whatever. That's so a cry for attention. I just wish their ponies threw the occasional shoe or seemed at least a little normal.

Eve looks like a Cabbage Patch doll.

IT'S NOT A DEEP CUT???? Then where did all that blood come from????

"That pony should have been named Trouble instead of Lucky." Right. Ha ha. Rolling around on the floor here.

Go Freckles. Knock some sense into that boy.

EWWWW, how creepy does this sound??
"But even if I had time, I'm not that interested in ponies. I prefer little girls. And cats. I like cats."
OMG!!!!! Lock all your doors and windows, children. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR!

Eve totally makes it sound like she's in an abusive relationship rather than having pony trouble.

Lame. They won't let Eve in their club. Wasn't she like 9 in SS1? That's not that much younger. And yet they group her with Mimi and Rosalie. :P

SERIOUSLY, read this. If you didn't know it was about a pony, you would think this was off of Dr. Phil or something.
Anna: What else does he do that he shouldn't?
Eve: He pushes me. Once he stepped on my foot. It hurt.
Anna: If he pushes you, Eve, elbow him. You have to be firm with him.
Lulu: What else does he do that you don't like?
Eve: Sometimes he scares me. I think he's going to kick me. I'm even afraid to brush him.

Lucky's being spoiled isn't all your fault, Eve. It's actually the PONY PALS fault. I love how their not taking responsibility at all.

LAME, Lulu looks like a supermodel in every picture.

AAAAAAAAAAAAGH THEY'RE HAVING SPAGHETTI!!! AGAIN!!

Weren't Jack and Jill 6 a while back? Did they go back in time?

Lame. They watch "Black Beauty" and Eve cries. Way to go.

Eve cries herself to sleep.

Just because Eve loves Lucky doesn't mean she should get to keep him. I loved Howard (the only other dog I've ever had, and I had him for a grand total of three days), but he bit Nathan's face off. Man up, Eve.

NOT EVERYONE LIKES PONIES! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL!

Since when is Lightning Supermom? Didn't she attack Lucky the first time she met him? And wasn't Snow White the one who was all matronly? What's with the Lightning/Lucky BFF thing going on?

Susan Royer Rigby (new illustrator) can draw horses and ponies pretty well...but I miss Vivien Kubbos. She was da bomb, even if she did mix up Lulu and Anna.

Wait, Lucky is a year old? The pictures make him look like a newborn.

LOL, they decide to let Lightning teach Lucky to behave. It totally reminded me of the song "Smack" by Ugly Duckling. SMACK! You needed that, I'LL TEACH YOU HOW TO ACT. LOL cracks me up.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH the worst Anna drawing yet!!! The people in it look like SMURFS!!

Wouldn't throwing a birthday party for Lucky make him MORE spoiled?

WHAT? Pam says Eve won't be able to ride Lucky for years. Um, don't people start riding their horses at age 2?

Lucky attacks Lightning. He's so brave.

Aaargh. Eve is a great rider. I want someone to ride badly and see what happens. Wait. Rema was a bad rider and a snob. I guess the moral of this story is if you can't ride, you're an awful person. I guess this means I would not fit in in Wiggins.

Pam is the biggest pessimist EVER.

If the horse is biting and kicking your mother, HE IS NOT MAKING PROGRESS!!

Ew, an awful drawing of Pam with a really huge face.

Retarded. Lulu is being all sneaky about a present. We never actually find out what it is.

This part is so sad! I felt for Eve. Me and feel probably don't go in the same sentence, but for realz...
Dear Pony Pals,
I have a present for you. It is Lucky. [Okay, this might be sad, but COLONS!!!] I can't take care of him. You will love him and train him. He'll play with your ponies. Please let Lucky be a Pony Pal. [Since you won't let Eve be one. :P]
Your friend,
Eve
Awwwww. This is the first time in Pony Pals history that any character has shown even an ounce of maturity!

And then we see Eve's pitiful drawings of ponies. They're pretty bad and they ruin the mood.

Aaargh. They decide to board Lucky for free. WHAT'S WITH ALL THIS "FOR FREE" STUFF?

They say "yummy".

I've never seen silver sprinkles.

I THOUGHT PONY PAL TRAIL WAS A SECRET!

Lol. They make "Lucky's #1!" jokes.

Retarded. Mr. and Mrs. Greeley go for it.

Aaargh. I just wanted the parents to get rid of Lucky and have the characters actually GROW for a change. But no. No no no no.
OMG!!! I found my ancient (like, 6th grade) end to the Pony Pals. It was written like 10 years after the whole series. Lulu marries Mark, Pam marries some dude, Anna marries Charlie, and Tommy and Mike get trampled in a Winnie the Pooh parade. That was the only part I liked. It was pretty badly written. Anna was all abusive, Pam was in love with herself, and Lulu kept saying, "Omigosh! Acorn! Omigosh!" Aaagh. I love the part about the parade, though. Made my day.