I avoid conflict, or Pony Pals Super Special #5: Pony Problem

I still don't get why Super Specials are so much specialer than the other books. The author runs out of plot after about 70 pages, and this book is 115 pages long.



Plot: Anna wakes up one morning to find Acorn missing - and Snow White hurt! It appears the ponies had a fight, resulting in Acorn's disappearance. They find him at Pam's house, but after that, the two ponies cannot seem to get along! Neither can their owners, for that matter; they both blame each other.
Pam, as you know, can "communicate" with animals, and uses this unique ability to find out what went wrong between the two pony friends. It turns out Acorn is a bit jealous of his friend Snow White, who is receiving lots of attention due to her new barrel racing tricks. Acorn feels a bit left out.
In turn, Snow White is too tired to play with her pony friend and wonders why he is being so "mean" to her.
Pam reveals this to her Pony Pals. They make up and spend the rest of the book planning for the Winter Fest, which goes amazingly well, and everyone is happy.

More notes:
Lulu writes a crappy poem:
Snow White in the moonlight
On a snowy night.
Everything is all right.

Anna thinks Acorn was stolen. After all, he starred in an ABC Family movie, and was in the circus once. Oh, and he played The Magic Pony in that play at the library.

She and Lulu go out looking for Acorn at 7:00 AM without telling their parents! How is it that they NEVER get in trouble??? I can't believe their parents are FINE with this.

Now they're sure someone stole Acorn because there are TRACKS in the PADDOCK! Hello, you guys go into the paddock ALL THE TIME.

Tommy's middle name should be "Trouble". How clever. :P

No duh, it was Anna's footprint.

There's a scene with Pam in the barn with Fat Cat. Fat Cat is depressed because someone put toilet paper in her bed, so now she can't sleep. I swear, if that's not foreshadowing, I don't know what is.

Lulu: Snow White has blood on her neck. Come, look.
Anna: She must have cut herself.
Snow White!!! Didn't I tell you to stay away from those razorblades!!!???

"She was a sweet gray Welsh two-year-old."
If you're talking about a pony (which they are), you wouldn't say it like that. It would be more like, "She was a sweet two-year-old gray Welsh pony," or something.

Agh, it's a misunderstanding. Lulu and Anna are convinced the other is mad at them. Spare me.

"Anna frowned. She hated it when Pam wasn't on her side."
And Pam sort of owes her, too, after the whole abused Cloud thing.

Ugh, Lulu's getting annoying. You know how she gets when she's worried about Snow White, right? THAT'S WHAT SHE'S DOING! "Oh no, it's been 5 minutes! I have to go check on Snow White!"

Anna: How do you know what she's thinking? She's probably thinking, "I wish I had bit Acorn harder."
LOL!!

Anna just feels like being mean. I hear you.

Pam thinks Charlie is bossy.
*cough cough* HYPOCRITE! *cough cough*

Whoa what happened to Charlie and Anna? I thought they were a couple!! I guess not. Charlie's obsessed with Lulu now, and totally ignores Anna when she shows him her drawings.

Wth?? What the heck is skijoring??

"Pam hated it when Charlie acted like he knew more about ponies than she did."
This is payback for all the times you made someone feel stupid because you had to know everything about ponies, Pam.

Omg, that's so awful! "Acorn is happy because Snow WHite isn't here, thought Anna. Snow White might have to move to Pam's. That's okay. The Crandals have plenty of room for another pony."
Whoa. Anna is way evil sometimes.

They're eating spaghetti.
For dinner.
AGAIN.

"What are you doing to Snow White?"
That sounds dirty....

Lulu is a way annoying.

Acorn is jealous. Why isn't Charlie paying attention to him? Why is Snow White learning new tricks? Why won't Snow White play with him?
Acorn needs therapy.

WHOA!
"'You'd be a good snowboarder, Pony Pest,' said Tommy. 'You got good balance."

Pam writes about a time when her mom's horse JB started eating wood, and he told her that he missed his goat friend Queenie.
Queenie? Wasn't that the name of the sheep in #12?

Whoa. Acorn's side of the story is my life.

Remind Acorn that he is special and everything will be all right.

Mwahaha. Anna thinks Snow White should move out. Because it's her backyard, and Snow White doesn't belong there.

Pam: I think Acorn and Snow White are still fighting because you are still fighting. Animals pick up on how people feel.
Lulu: But we're fighting because our ponies are fighting.
Pam: It's a vicious circle.
Lol. A vicious circle. It's a vicious "cycle", Pam.

The exterminator joke is getting old, Tommy.

Charlie sits next to Lulu...and Mike sits next to Anna. :O He's bisexual?
Ha ha, Pam has no one.

Charlie: What's wrong with those guys? Sometimes they're okay and sometimes they're sort of dumb.
Tee hee. Just like the Pony Pals!!

Charlie is starting to sound less like a cowboy and more like a Brit.
"I have an idea! It's positively brilliant!!"

Ha. Lulu got suckered into barrel racing.

Aagh.
Mr. Olson: Mr. Charlie can make you his special Mexican burritos.
What other kind of burritos would they be eating? French burritos?
Charlie: They're muy delicioso.
Someone's been watching Dora the Explorer recently!

The Pony Pals make a pony scrapbook.
"Mr. Olson came in to get a drink. The stories were so interesting he stayed to listen."
Oh, I highly doubt that.

All of these stories are basically about how amazing Snow White is. "I used to have no friends. Then I met Snow White." "We had a costume parade. Snow White went first because she's so beautiful." "I fell in a hole, but got out all right, because I'm snow White!"

I think one of the stories is from Super Special #4...WHICH I HAVEN'T READ YET!

I don't remember this lamb business. They say they rescued a baby lamb. When was this?

Pwned. They attack Charlie and snowball him. Literally. Lol.

Oh no! If Winter Fest is cancelled, what will Anna's mother do with all the brownies she baked?
Give them to the fatty Pony Pals, of course!

Apparently Tommy is a pro snowboarder.
Anna: At least he can do something right.
Noyce.

BFFs!! I swear, this is like the Bratz movie.

You are not allowed to feel anger towards a disabled person, or Pony Pals #32: He's My Pony!

The description of this book on krl.org is a little off:
A handicapped girl forms a special bond with a gentle horse.
They forgot to add: The horse's jealous owner throws a hissy fit. Horse isn't the right term, however. Acorn is a pony.



Plot: It's summer again and the Pony Pals are going to be in another parade, seeing as the townspeople can't get enough of them. Things don't remain perfect forever, though. Christine, Anna's neighbor's niece, is visiting her aunt and becomes good friends with the Pony Pals. She loves ponies, is a good artist, and has cerebral palsy, but is afraid of riding horses. Anna should be best friends with her, but Christine falls madly in love with Acorn, as young blonde girls are wont to do in this series, making Anna super jealous.
Then Christine asks if she could take riding lessons on Acorn, and the Pony Pals readily agree, kind of forgetting ANNA IS THE ONE WHO OWNS ACORN.
Then Christine thinks up an idea for the fair/parade: a face painting booth! She starts practicing on local children and her ideas are SOOO much better than Anna's! Anna gets jealous and runs away one Acorn, even though she is worried that he might like Christine more than he likes her.
The Pony Pals come after her and convince her that Acorn loves her, bla bla bla, and then tell her that Christine's "great" ideas came from a book! Anna apologizes to Christine and the other girl accepts. They continue her lessons on Acorn.
Anna comes up with a great nonselfish idea: why not let Christine display her new riding talents in the parade...on Acorn?? She has Mike Lacey help her out, and Christine rides in the parade. Yay.

More notes:
I seriously marked like every page in this book. There's 90 PAGES!

OMG, JUST SAY BAY!!! It's always "brown-and-black", "brown-and-black". DUDE! HE'S BAY!

Dang, Christine is a really good artist. Compared to Anna, anyway.

Christine isn't all awkward about her disability and she's really nice. I like her.

The phrase "smacked her lips" always throws me off. I don't really get it.

AGH I hate people who are all, "Oh, she's disabled, she probably couldn't do that," and it's something like playing tag.

Pam: Anna's mother owns Off-Main Diner. It's the best diner in town.
Anna: It's the only diner in town.
Finally. Those girls needed a reality check.

Mrs. Crandal: I'll bring Daisy out.
Pam: Daisy is my mother's best school pony for beginners.
Daisy is your mother's only pony.

Pam: When a pony or horse is blond, it's called a palomino.
Anna: A Pony Pal palomino.
Laaame.

Daisy attacks Christine. Way to go.

The picture is so stupid. Daisy is humongous, Christine is floating in mid air, and Anna looks shocked like she should help her, but it is looking at something off to the side. Look up in the sky, it's a bird! It's a plane! It's Christine being attacked by a crazy Shetland pony, Anna! Get with the program!

Quizzes and guessing games are completely different things.

Oh no, Acorn did a trick for Christine without Anna's signal!

Paul Bachem's pictures look like crap, as usual.

Pam: My mother will put a special girth on Acorn. It has handles.
Yes, Pam. It's called a surcingle. If you were really such a horse expert, you'd know that.

Acorn does a new trick for Christine! Oooowned!

Anna is REALLY jealous, so she's like, "Acorn, get away from Christine. It's time for your, um, bath."

Jack and Jill are 6 again.

Whoa, the twins start talking to Christine about her walker and how beautiful it is.

Mike: Hi.
Anna: What are you doing here?
Mike: I was trying to catch up with you. And I did. I could have beaten you.
What is with boys and their competitiveness?

There's a picture of Rosalie running up to Anna WITH BROWN HAIR (she's so blonde!!), and all the Pony Pals look shocked/disgusted. ??? I thought they loved little kids?

Aw, Anna feels inferior. This is way depressing.

Mrs. Crandal: Okay. Acorn won't move until you tell him to.
Christine: How do I tell him?
Mrs. Crandal: Sit tall, make a clicking sound, and say, 'Move on.'
Squeezing lightly with your knees works, too.

They're supposed to be riding in a circle, but Christine is riding on the inside and Lulu and Pam keep passing her. So much for riding safety.

"I wish Christinewasn't here. I wish we were just the Pony Pals."
Doesn't Anna feel this anytime someone infiltrates their little group/joins their cult?

HOLY CRAP. Enough with the BROWNIES.

Anna is mean to Pam. I don't like Pam, so I'm not exactly objecting.

Okay, Christine's designs are really hideous. Her clown face is more of a drag queen.

Yeah, running out of the diner and riding away will give you the melodramatic edge you're going for, Anna.

Mike Lacey just randomly starts following her.

WHOA: Anna admits she's a horrible, selfish person. Whaaaaat? No way! Pam never admits she's wrong until someone else apologizes; Lulu is never wrong (in her own mind); but Anna's like, "Yeah, I suck." Go Anna!

Anna: Mike saw me crying. He better not tell Tommy.
Like he would.... "Dude, I totally saw that Anna girl crying!" "Aw, sweet, man! High five! Let's go pester her!" "Right on!"

Anna: Acorn likes Chris better than me.
Lulu: No, he doesn't. Acorn is friendly. That's the kind of pony he is.
That's the response jealous girlfriends get, too.

Oh, it turns out Christine is just a little plagiarist! Actually, not really. That's what face painting books are for.

Anna decides to apologize on her own! Woo!

Christine apologizes for keeping the book a secret. She thought maybe her ideas wouldn't be as good as Anna's. Are you kidding? Have you SEEN Anna's drawings?

"Christine drew a face. Anna painted the black parts of the vampire face. Christine did the red parts. She liked painting blood."
That sounds kind of creepy.

They have a drag queen clown, a passable lion, and a hippie child? The conservative parents of Wiggins would never go for that!

They draw something that looks like a monkey, but I think it's supposed to be a dragon.

No ways, Mike helps Anna out! He gets the surcingle for her so it's ready for the parade. Aww, I love Mike.

Anna: *face painting* Now you are a perfect rainbow.
Little boy: Wow! I'm never going to wash my face again!
You're a boy, so you probably never will.

Aw, Acorn does the tricks for Anna without a signal at the very end. How sweet.

I sort of liked that one. Not really. BEST MADDIE FINN EVER! CAN'T WAIT!

Awwwww, it's sooooo cute, or Pony Pals #28: The Newborn Pony

Get ready, kids, because I have SOOOO many books coming up it's not even funny! 3 Balinors, 2 Avalons, and 2 nameless horse books from a depressing and awful series? Pretty much. I, unfortunately, haven't read any of them just yet, so you'll have to stick with the Pony Pals for now.



Plot: Yay, Beauty got knocked up and is going to have a baby!! Strange, this has never been mentioned before.... It appears that Beauty's due date is near, so the Pony Pals offer to stay up all night with her to make sure nothing goes wrong. During the night, Beauty gives birth to a beautiful baby boy. Everyone admires it, and then leave to eat breakfast.
The next morning, Mike Lacey shows up, claiming he wants to see the pony. After a mean trick, the Pony Pals aren't so sure that's the case, so they threaten to tell everyone he is afraid of ponies if he doesn't cut it out. Oooooo....
Oh no, the foal is stricken with pneumonia!!! The Pony Pals and Mike stay up for another night to take care of the poor creature. But don't worry, it's a Pony Pals book; it's not like he's going to DIE! He gets better immediately, so Mike and the Pony Pals decide to each come up with a name, then everyone will vote. Mike comes up with a WONDERFUL name that everyone likes, so the foal is christened "Miracle". Yay.

More notes:
She insists on saying "chestnut-colored".

SINCE WHEN IS BEAUTY PREGNANT?? And how have 11 months passed with us not knowing? I bet I know who the father is, though.

AGH, CRAPPY PONY DRAWINGS!!

Jeanne Betancourt has reused the same "Galloping feels like flying!" paragraph in like 3 books.

Ms. Wiggins: It would be wonderful to have some help. Are you sure you don't mind? It's not as much fun as camping in the hills.
Um, let's see, hole in the ground vs. toilets and running water, real food vs. food over the campfire, I'd rather sleep at your house, Ms. Wiggins.

They call the paddock Beauty's "little yard". I guess Jeanne forgot the terminology.

Pam always has to sound so smart.

I think the Pony Pals wake up every morning and go, "Hm, lovely day, this reminds me of how I met my two best friends." I mean, really, who thinks about their best friends while setting up a tent?

"Lulu thought living in Wiggins would be boring. Then she met Anna and Pam and became a Pony Pal. And then she got Snow White."
That writing makes me cringe.

Of course Snow White will like the baby. Snow White is obsessed with babies.

I think "Black Beauty" is the only movie they've ever seen.

It's easy to mistake people for bears or deer when you're riding...in broad daylight.

Lol, Mike screams like a little girl.

A beautiful drawing of Snow White. She looks like a carousel pony. Mike looks like Eminem.

Being scared of ponies isn't that big a deal.

AAAAAAAAAGH! THEY'RE HAVING SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS FOR DINNER!!!!!!

Anna brings brownies. *shakes head*

He's described as brown with black stockings. The foal on the cover definitely doesn't fit that description.

His marking looks more like a crescent moon than a half moon, Lulu.

Aw, he's so adorable.

They said "teat" in a children's book!!

LOL, Tommy and Mike push their tent over...while they're in it. The drawing is quite odd, though, because Anna somehow ends up on top of Lulu.

ROFL! "'Do you think an animal could have pushed the tent over?' asked Pam. 'Like a cow?'"

"'Maybe a deer did it,' suggested Anna. 'A big deer. And it ran away.'"

How is this a mystery? It was so obviously Tommy and Mike. And why must you always make everything a mystery, Pam?

Mike practically confesses. "It wasn't my idea!!!"

OMG, DUH, IT WAS TOMMY AND MIKE! OF COURSE THEY LEFT TRACKS THAT ARE TOO BIG TO BE YOUR OWN!! YOU'RE SO DUMB!!

I love how their lives revolve around riding. "Oh no, I almost broke my leg! You can't ride with a broken leg!" "That's nothing! I have AIDs! You can't ride with AIDs!" "Well, I have dyslexia! You can't ride with dyslexia!"

They write him a threatening letter.
Mike: We know that you and Tommy tipped over our tent. We have evidence to prove it. If you do anything mean and dangerous like that again, we'll tell Ms. Wiggins. You better leave us alone or you could lose your job.

Pam, Anna, Lulu

P.S. We saw how afraid you were when you fed Picasso. We were spying on you. [That's not stalker-y or anything.]

P.P.S. Watch out for Pony Power! [I think this is why he makes fun of you.]

Btw, who was the person that said, "Boys make fun of you when they like you?" Or maybe all boys are jackasses.

Tommy's idea for a name is Turd. Because the pony is brown.

Ms. Wiggins is so dense.

Okay, Rascal is an okay name, but wth Pam? "His eyes already sparkle with mischief."

Oooh, a very nice drawing of Snow White. Wth, horses and ponies neigh all the time. That doesn't mean someone is dead.

Wth? "Oh no, the foal is congested!" Then give him a Sudafed.

Wow. The Pony Pals fight back.
Tommy: Has the little pony got a little cold-y?
Mike: Quit it, Tomy. This could be serious.
Lulu: Not everything is a joke, Tommy Rand.
Tommy: Well, the Pony Pests are one big joke. You make me laugh all day long.
Pam: And you make me sick. Don't you take anything seriously?
Wth, Lulu stops Pam and is all, "This is not the time to fight with Tommy Rand." Isn't that what you were doing, Mrs. Hypocrite??

Ooh, Tommy uses bad grammar to up his cool factor. "We got better stuff to do."

Ew, Paul Bachem drew the UGLIEST picture of Beauty. Her face is humongous.

Wth, everyone has 90 minutes on watch, but Mr. Silver, the OLD GUY, has 2 hours. Lame.

Ew, foaly is really ugly in the next picture, and Mike is all up against the wall for some reason. Like a Boys Like Girls song.

Go Pam!
Mike: Okay, okay. I get it. I'm not stupid.
Pam: *glare of death* Sometimes you are. When you follow whatever stupid, dumb, dangerous thing Tommy Rand says.
Lulu: You're even afraid of Tommy. And we know you're afraid of ponies, too.
Shut up, Lulu. I hate that this book is about Lulu. Just a lot of Snow White glorification.

Why is it that when they want to stay up late, they eat cookies and juice? Drink Red Bull and you'll be fine.

Mike saves the day...again.

Wth, shut up, Lulu, you ungrateful whore.

If someone is coughing, get them to stand up and it will be all better. Or grab their belly. Says nurse Pam.

WTH, THIS IS NOT SOME EPIC PRANK WAR! MIKE JUST SAVED YOUR FREAKING PONY!

"Lulu looked up and saw a white shape running through the dawning light.
It was Snow White."
That's good, because I was afraid it was a polar bear. Duh, of course it was Snow White.

Lulu and Mike bond over milk.

Pam's name is Rascal.
Lulu's name is Moon, which I would've voted for back in the day, when I was obsessed with all things moon: Sailor Moon, crescent moon, moonshining....
Anna chooses Big Boy?? What kind of name is that? Pam suggests they call him B. B. Maybe if he was a blues artist.

Mike chooses Miracle, and they force him to say why he chose that name.
"Because it's like a miracle that he was born without any problems. Then he got sick, and it's a miracle he didn't die."
Mike said "like" like a valley girl. That's so sappy but kind of sweet.

Mike isn't shy, Lulu, he's just embarassed that he has to talk about ponies with 3 ten-year-old girls.

WHY must you do a secret ballot, just choose a name!!!

Lulu has crappy handwriting.

Miracle wins. I like Moon better.

A horrible picture of Snow White, a very nice picture of Lightning, and Acorn is palomino??? What??

This book was barely about Snow White, and Lulu is all, "Snow White, you saved the whole world from global warming while ending world hunger!!"

Lame. "You're great, Snow White. You are the miracle in my life."
Lol. You are the music in me.

So that's it. Tomorrow I'll talk about Avalon!!! Yay! Magic and talking ferrets. It will be quite fantastic.

Lassie! You're home!, or Pony Pals #27: The Pony and the Missing Dog

Guess who's back? You'll have to guess. Fine. After 3 illustrators, Paul Bachem is finally back, and the illustrations are worse than ever. Actually, not true: Paul seems to realize the innacuracy of his drawings and has gotten a lot better. Even Anna's drawings are top rate! It's just the story that sucks....



Plot: Pam is so frustrated with her dog, Woolie. He keeps chasing Lightning and being mischievous (pronounced MISS-chuh-vuss), so she loses her temper and scolds him. On their trail ride, the Pony Pals question her methods, and Pam feels the need to apologize to Woolie.
But she can't.
Because he's GONE.
It seems Woolie has run away. Pam is heartbroken, pulling a Lulu and moaning about how it's all her fault. Lulu, on the other hand, keeps a cool head, and organizes a rescue mission to save/help/find Woolie. It's an odd case of role reversal, folks.
After much searching, Woolie is still nowhere to be found. The Pony Pals enlist the help of Ms. Wiggins and Mike Lacey. The 5 of them split up and search Ms. Wiggins' property. Hark! What's that? A bark? Lightning finds Woolie behind a bush...WITH HIS LEG CAUGHT IN A TRAP!!!! Way to copy #10. As Pam is hyperventilating, Mike appears and saves the day, removing the trap from Woolie's leg. Woolie is good as new and he and Pam make up. BFFs forever. And it turns out Mike has a soul.

More notes:
Aaaargh. "Black and brown" and "reddish brown" do not suffice as pony descriptions. I want breed, height, color, and markings.

How come Jack and Jill are 5 again? Did they go back in time?? They were 6 a few books ago.

Agh, a whole paragraph of choppy writing and repetition.

Oh no, Jack and Jill are convinced they've found Bambi. There's 20 whole pages on how they find an "abandoned" fawn and want to take care of it, but have to release it back into the wild. So boring.

Paul's first drawing is a failure. This is one OBESE fawn, and Woolie looks like a combination Seelyham Terrier and chubby Golden Retriever. When I say "sheepdog", I mean SHEEPDOG!

Oh look, it's Anna riding on some pony! OH! IT'S ACORN! And who's that rider on Snow White? COULD IT BE LULU??? Like we don't know who rides who already.

Lulu: Oh, my. This is a very young fawn.
Way to sound like a grandma, Lulu.

BAM, Lulu shocks the twins with her nature knowledge. Does leave their fawns alone in the forest all the time! DUH! Actually, I didn't know that.

Anna makes fun of Jack. Heh.

Aaagh, Jill is SO ANNOYING. "He's mine. I'm supposed to take care of him. I already love him." And not one exclamation point in that emotional statement.

WHY CAN'T THEY SAY FOAL?? It's always "baby pony", "baby pony", "baby pony".

Ugh, Paul's second drawing makes Pam look like Michael Jackson, Jill like an Oompaloompa, and the fawn like a legless sack of bread with a deer head sticking out of it. I take back what I said about good illustrations.

Lol. "Pam had a big painting of Lightning hanging in her bedroom. It was an Anna Harley original." That just cracked me up for some reason.

If Anna ever mentions those brownies again....

And Paul's pony drawings STILL look like crap.

Wth? Now Woolie looks like an Airdale?

They call Lightning a boy. *crickets*

Oh no, someone is trapping on her land again! Gee, it couldn't be TOMMY, could it? Oh no, it couldn't be, because he got a WARNING.

Mrs. Bell is an idiot. "Gee, I let Woolie out a few hours ago and he hasn't returned. I guess he REALLY had to go!"

Ah yes, the Pony Pals are going out on another adventure without telling their parents. Oh, excuse me, Pam leaves a note.

Yes, Pam, it might be dead, but it wouldn't be your fault; it's stupid Mrs. Bell's.

I'm sure EVERYONE knows what a dog's pawprint looks like. HOW DO YOU MIX THAT UP WITH A RACCOON PAWPRINT???

You weren't mean, Pam. There's a fine line between discipline and abuse.

And Woolie wouldn't be mad at you, because he's a sweet, forgiving dog. (Said Lulu.)

Lightning is a girl again. Wow, two sex changes in one day.

Dang, Lulu gives some good pep talks.

Pam keeps moaning and moaning.

Yeah, I'm sure those posters will be effective.
Missing Dog. Medium sized dog. Golden color. Red collar with I.D. If found, please call 555-4362.
I'm totally calling that number. But they had Anna DRAW a picture instead of putting a photograph. Wha?? And wouldn't it be better to put BREED, and his NAME??? Just wondering.

Yay, the Quinns have returned! You remember those delightful old people from #18, don't you?

Pam is convinced everyone is in love with Pony Pals.

Lol, Pam repeats herself. "Have you seen a small blond sheepdog in the last 24 hours? He has fluffy blond hair and a red collar." I thought he was medium sized.

Oh, the dog Mrs. Quinn saw isn't Woolie because he didn't have a collar. I mean, forget the fact that he acts JUST LIKE Woolie and looks JUST LIKE Woolie. There's no way that collar could've come off.

Lol, Paul makes the Quinns look just like my grandparents.

Lulu = way short.

Apparently Pam goes around kissing people's kittens.

A small tuft of hair could easily be mistaken for a bunny.

The little boy in the picture looks like a little girl. And he has a boy named DOGGIE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH.

Pam makes a little rap. It's kind of funny.

I'm probaby wrong, but I was pretty sure they'd already look on Ms. Wiggins' land.

"We need more people to help search for Woolie." Isn't that why you put up posters?

ANNA DID A GOOD DRAWING! LIKE, REALLY GOOD! AND ACCURATE!!!!!!!!

"Mike Lacey and Tommy Rand were older than the Pony Pals, but acted very immature." Duh, boys mature slower than girls. But then again, when are boys ever mature?

I don't know, Mike's semi-all right and all, but Ms. Wiggins is way too trusting. "Remember when Mike and Tommy set up traps on your land and stole our ponies that one time?" "Oh, but Mike would NEVER do something like that!!"

Oh wait, her exact words are, "But Mike is a different boy when he works for me. You'll see." Btw, Mike's job: What exactly does he do??

Lol.
Lulu: He better behave. Or else.
Yeah, you're like 4'9" and you're in 4th grade. And you're a girl. Not much you can do.

Mike apologizes for calling the Pony Pals "Pony Pests"?

A really good accurate picture of Lightning that actually makes her look like a pony and not a donkey??

THEY SAY POOP!

Yeah, Woolie's leg is caught in a trap, so I doubt his growling has anything to do with you.

Of course, Pam blames him for the traps. Not prejudiced.

Wait, Woolie was in a trap for 24 hours, and his leg isn't broken??? And he hasn't died of dehydration??

The last picture is really good...except for Woolie. But hey. He's getting better.

The Pony Pals tend to repeat themselves. "Thank you. Thank you for helping me find Woolie!"

Agh. I hate that Woolie.
I also hate the library, so I don't know how soon I'm getting any Pony Pals, Madison Finn, Unicorns of Balinor, or Avalon books. I do have Pony Pals #28, so I'll probably do that sometime this week.

And they're channeling 40's noir films, or Pony Pals #17: Detective Pony

Lost cats in the woods. Sounds slightly familiar.



Plot: Anna goes to wake up Acorn so they can go riding, but finds him already awake...with a cat by his side. The cat seems to have a weird obsession with Acorn and follows the Pony Pals around. Finally, they can't stand it anymore and take it to Dr. Crandal's.
At the barn sleepover that night, THE BARN SETS ON FIRE! THE KITTY IS IN DANGER! But Acorn smells the fire and all the animals are saved in time. But everyone's favorite cat has gone missing!
The next morning, the Pony Pals go into the woods to search for him and find him in a tree, having been beaten up by a bobcat.
They take him BACK to Dr. Crandal's.
Acorn seems to really love this kitty, and Anna has always wanted a pet, so she tries to convince her mom (WHO IS ALLERGIC TO CATS!!) to let her keep him. Mrs. Harley is about to say no when she sees the kitty laying across Acorn's shoulders. She is so overcome by the cuteness that she agrees to keep him. Anna names the cat Shadow. And all is well.

More notes:
Most people don't put collars on their cats. That's a dog thing.

How convenient. It's winter vacation...AGAIN. Wait, wasn't it summer vacation in books #15 AND #16???? WHAT'S UP?

Read this sentence.
"Pam's father was a veterinarian and he took care of most of the cats, dogs, horses, cows, and pigs in Wiggins."
Since when are there cows and pigs in Wiggins? And it would've been a lot easier to say, "...all the animals in Wiggins."

Wow. Dr. Crandal is actually working on a patient. This never happens.

The Crandals suddenly have a kennel that houses A LOT of animals. This has never been mentioned before.

Oh, and they board horses. Didn't know that either.

Brandy is a girl's name.

Lol, the cat has been ALTERED. ROFL. Trouser snake.

Didn't your sister own a cat, Anna? Your mother was never allergic THEN.

This is about Lulu:
"She lived in tents, rode elephants, and hid behind bushes to watch the monkeys play."
Ah yes. Lulu the wild woman.

There's like 4 pages on Lulu and 2 paragraphs on Anna and Pam. And they're combined.

They're going to bed at 9:30. Right.

You would think they would notice if the animal clinic is in flames.

Dr. Crandal doesn't want the Pony Pals being heroes. But he's allowed to go back into the burning building.

Shouldn't you always have your horse's halter on? Unless he's alone in his stall?

I knew Anna's dad was a firefighter!

They let Lulu go back into a burning barn, but not Anna and Pam? Do the Crandals not like Lulu?

Lol. Mr. Harley looks like Darth Vader. From "Return of the Jedi". Sans helmet.

Heh. Acorn saved a bunch of animals from burning alive. All Lightning has ever done is "protect" a bunch of stupid kittens. And Snow White "saved" forest animals from certain death. Sort of. Not really.

Bad drawing: Lightning is bay and Snow White has huge eyes. After this book, I think Jeanne Betancourt got fed up with Paul Bachem and got a new illustrator.

Pam called Acorn stupid.

How do you mistake raccoon tracks for cat tracks?

Pam and Lulu call Anna stupid and try to force her to go back home. But Anna's all, "You can go home, I'ma keep looking," like Pam did in #9. Ha. And, because they refuse to be seperated for 2 seconds, they go with her.

I don't believe those are bobcat tracks. They're exactly the same size and shape as the regular cat tracks shown in the book.

Oooh, violence.

I thought cats always landed on their feet. If he gets too cold and falls, he'll just land on his feet, Lulu.

The cat is covered in blood.

If a bobcat is four times bigger than a housecat, how come its paws are only two times bigger?

We understand how to clean wounds, Dr. Crandal.

Pam: Could we keep him here?
Dr. Crandal: We aren't adopting any more animals.
You could trade in Fat Cat for this cat. No one likes Fat Cat anyway.

I still can't figure out how Mrs. Harley is suddenly allergic to cats.

"It'll be cold in there." "Hm. Let's put a pillow in it." Pillows make everything better.

Mr. Harley is a firefighter AND a carpenter?

Uh oh, infestation. Instead of investing in a cat, couldn't you just call the exterminator?

Your parents didn't want you to have a pony because you were FAILING SCHOOL, not because they hated animals. Anna, Anna, Anna....

No one sneezes just thinking about cats.

Heh. Mr. Harley likes cats and isn't allergic to them. The exact opposite of my dad.

That's dramatic. "It's my pony. He saved the cat's life."
And yet Pam gets to tell the whole exciting story? Shut up, Pam. It's not your pony. Your pony doesn't do anything cool; it just "saves" kittens.

They manage to convince Mrs. Harley in 2 seconds that they need a cat. She agrees so quickly!

Fuzzy is an awful suggestion, Pam.

They want to make the house 2x1x1. Is that really big enough?

Black Beauty is a stupid suggestion, Lulu.

No one wants a cat named Kitty, Lulu.

Pam, just shut up and stop suggesting things.

Eh. Shadow is better than No Name. *glares at Pam* I would've named him Faithful after the cat in the Tamora Pierce books, but hey. At least it's not Smokey.

Yeah. Not too bad. Anna seemed more tolerable in this one. #18 about the emo abused pony coming up tomorrowish.

The world is divided into two kinds of people, or Pony Pals #13: The Girl Who Hated Ponies

Lulu is a very AWFUL person. That's all I have to say. Btw, the picture shows the cover in the wrong color. The copy I have is periwinkle, not rusty brown.



Plot: Mr. Sanders forgets that Lulu is an antisocial freak and decides to let his bosses daughter Melissa (or something like that) hang with Lulu and the Pony Pals. FOR A WHOLE WEEKEND. WITHOUT ADULT SUPERVISION. Okay, not really, but he's basically leaving Lulu and his friend's kid on their own.
Oh no, Melissa doesn't like PONIES!!!! *gasp* She likes makeoevers and beauty parlors and wears dangly earrings, so Lulu writes her off as a jerk and is mean to her.
They all go to Pam's house. Melissa doesn't want to go riding, so the Pony Pals give her the glare of death. They try to introduce her to their ponies, but Melissa seems to be scared of them??? IS IT POSSIBLY BECAUSE OF A TRAUMATIC EVENT WHEN SHE WAS 5???
Finally, they convince Melissa to go riding with them, but she agrees to go only if she can give them all makeovers when they get back. Ew. Not.
Oh no, a blizzard! The Pony Pals get trapped with Melissa in a wooden shelter that magically popped out of the ground. Melissa then admits that she was once trapped in a stall with a horse and has since then been scared out of her pants by horses. Then she apologizes for being such a BRAT. Um, yeah, Pony Pals, don't you think YOU need to give her an apology TOO?
But no. Magically, the snow stops and they can go outside again! Then they are rescued by Mr. Crandal and they all go home.
But Melissa has not forgotten about the makeovers....
At the diner the next morning, Melissa decides that the thing she REALLY wants to do is give the PONIES makeovers. So they do that. And Melissa is in love with Snow White. Because everyone looooooves Snow White. Yeah. That's IT.

More notes:
"We're going to spend the whole weekend riding with our Pony Pals." Don't you do that EVERY weekend?

I thought Mr. Sanders was studying BLACK bears, but he's going to a conference on BROWN bears. And he STILL looks like George Lopez.

Oh, because Lulu likes ponies, and Melissa's parents like ponies, and the Pony Pals like ponies, MELISSA must LOVE ponies.

Lulu is HORRIBLE at making friends, seeing as she only has 2 since moving to Wiggins. Why does Mr. Sanders think this is a good idea?

Melissa is wearing a black skirt (looks like a dress on the cover), lace-up leather boots (combat boots???), and a red jacket...OH, and a beret, which they failed to mention. Who wears berets?

Melissa is wearing dangly earrings. What is the signifigance of dangly earrings? Lulu makes a HUGE deal about it.

Okay, the Princes live in New York City...so they drive down to Conecticut to pick up Mr. Sanders and drop off Melissa...and now they're going to Maine. Yeah, not out of the way at all.

Mr. Sanders' first name is TOM???

OH NO, MELISSA HAS A NEW MANICURE KIT THAT HAS NAIL POLISH AND GOLD SPARKLES! DEMON!!! Seriously, even horse freaks like to look semi-feminine some of the time.

Since when does Grandma Sandy give manicures? My bad, Grandmother Sanders.

They leave Melissa with Grandma Sandy and talk about her behind her back? Such jerks.

We never find out how Lulu's mammy died.

ANNA LOOKS JUST LIKE CASPIAN FROM THE "CHRONICLES OF NARNIA" BBC MOVIE!!!

Bad grammar. "Melissa come over here." Where's the comma, eh?

They're confused as to why Melissa hates stepping in horse crap.

They're trying to force Melissa to become a Pony Pal.

Wait, for serious? All Melissa's suitcase holds is a manicure kit, makeup, a nightgown, a "very pretty dress", and a fluffy pink bathrobe. Whaaaaaat?

I swear, brownies and spaghetti are the only things the Pony Pals ever eat.

How did they know Melissa was from New York? It's not MENTIONED for 20 pages.

Melissa hates Snow White, too.

Oh no, it referenced THE CIRCUS. Acorn's not really that talented. He can shake and nod his head and go in a circle.

I wrote a lot when I was little, too!

Horses are beautiful and wonderful. Thank you, Lulu.

Aaargh, poop is a bad word!!! Dang it! SAY POOP! SAY IT!

Melissa: Anna, I think a different hairstyle would make you look older.
Anna: Why would I want to look older?
Well, let's see, you look like you're 5?

"You'll be known as the Pretty Pals instead of the Pony Pals." OMG!! I don't think Melissa meant to insult them, but she TOTALLY DID. Wait...I think she meant to. BOOYA, I love this girl.

SPLASH IS BACK FROM #6!!!

Ew, who eats muffins hot?

Heh, manipulation on both sides. Cat fight!

Splash actually looks like an Appaloosa!

Now you know how it feels, Anna. (See #9)

Lulu doesn't have the guts to say, "Snow White behaves a lot better than you do." Honestly, I can't stick up for Melissa any more. She's just as bad as the Pony Pals. I probably would've strangled her by now.

But Melissa isn't stupid, and Lulu's all surprised to see that Splash is really a problem pony. Dummy.

Yeah, yelling during a trail ride. Good idea. Spook the ponies a little.

Melissa just acknowledged Wiggins' lack of pizza places.

Maybe Snow White doesn't like snow because the last time it snowed, she got lost in a blizzard and fell in an icy hole while she had SHINGLES.

See, told you.

Tommy Rand = serial killer. He either finds a dead snake or kills one, but then he wraps it around Pam's neck. Dang. That really sucks. Now she's all phobic of snakes.

Lulu has a Rihanna haircut in one picture.

Whatever. Melissa's encounter with a scary horse isn't that scary to me. If it had been me I would've been so thrilled. Cuz I was a Pony Pal and a freak when I was little.

To pass the time, Melissa teaches them a line dance. How...? No what, never mind.

I'm shocked that Lulu even owns a pair of long underwear. Pam totally looks like Nicole from the basketball team.

The Crandals own their own ranch, a billion ponies, a huge house, their own medical practice, and a snowmobile. They haven't said it, but I think the Crandals are rich.

Wiggins is so much more exciting than boring old New York City! Not.

"Can I bring them a treat?" Shouldn't it be, "Can I take them a treat?"

They want to trim Acorn's whiskers and earhair? You have to do that?

Mmm, delicious, yogurt with bananas and strawberries. Sorry, I'm a picky eater.

Where'd the baseball cap come from? First a beret, now a baseball cap? Confused.

Melissa looks just like Emily Osment in the last picture.

That was dumb, but it didn't anger me as much as it did others. Lulu reminds me of myself sometimes. Ouch. The truth hurts. I'll go cry in a corner.
Tomorrow: The one about Mimi and Tongo (#14) or hopefully "Circus Pony"!