Mischief implies abuse, or Pony Pals #30: Pony-4-Sale

Yay, I finished my 2007 playlist! This isn't the most flattering picture of Pam. It's as if they WANTED her to look like a pig. Cloud looks fake. No pony is that skinny.



Plot: Pam and Lightning are riding around, as usual, when she stumbles across a birthday party featuring Maggie the Magician. Since it's obviously none of her business, she goes to check it out. What she sees is a very mean magician and a very neglected pony. She finds out from Maggie that Cloud, the pony, will soon be sold for the meat price if no one else buys him.
Instead of calling PETA or the Humane Society or any other animal rights organization like a normal person, Pam calls on the Pony Pals and they send Anna, who is "the best actress", to pretend like she is interested in buying Cloud, in order to lengthen his life. Then they all go back to Pam's house and write a letter to Mr. O'Connor, the Irish guy who owns Echo Farms, asking about Cloud.
Next, they send Lulu, who finds out that Cloud is a Connemara (just like Lightning), was originally from Echo Farm (where Lightning is also from), and throws his riders; she finds this last part out from experience, however, as Pam convinces her to ride Cloud and the skinny little nag throws her. This makes Lulu furious at Pam for letting her ride a "dangerous animal", who insists Lulu is just a bad rider.
Uh oh. It seems the Pony Pals are having a fight.
Finally, Lulu flees when Pam refuses to apologize.
Hark! A reply from Mr. O'Connor! He says he doesn't remember Maggie the Musician, but he does remember selling Cloud to a boy named Sandy Young, including in the e-mail Sandy's new phone number. What a coincidence, he lives in Wiggins!
Instead of calling, they ask Dr. Crandal if he ever had a patient named Cloud. No go.
Pam complains a lot about Lulu and insists that "if she really cared about Pony Pal problems, she'd be there".
Lulu does come back, armed with several good ideas of how to find Sandy. She and Pam continue to ignore each other, making Anna increasingly anxious. Finally, Anna explodes and tells the two of them that their fight is stupid and that they should get over themselves. Pam apologizes...after Lulu does. Loser.
They use a cool little trick on the internet to find Sandy's house, ride on over there, and tell him about his old pony. Sandy flips out, grabs some money from the bank, and promptly buys Cloud back from Maggie the Magician. His mother scolds Maggie for being abusive. The Pony Pals conclude that they will be friends forever. The Pony Pals, not Maggie and Mrs. Young.

More notes:
Maggie: What do we say to make magic happen?
Children: Ab-ra-ca-da-bra and wow-wow kaaa-zoo!
Even as a child, I'd have a hard time believing that.

Maggie makes a bird fly out of her hat. Pam is all, "That's not very nice for the bird." Suck it up, Pam.

:O Maggie squirts Cloud with water! ABUSE! ABUSE!

The twins are still 5??

Pam bursts into tears when she hears Maggie's plan to sell Cloud.

THEY'RE HAVING GRILLED-CHEESE SANDWHICHES AGAIN!!! I swear, that's all they eat! Spaghetti, grilled-cheese, and brownies! Actually, that's all I ever eat, so hey.

They think Anna is the best actress. And yet her pony starred in a movie, not her.

"'Okay,' agreed Anna. 'How's this?' Anna put on a sweet smile. 'Hello, Ms. Sullivan. My mommy and daddy said I could have a pony. I heard you have a pony for sale. Can I see it?'"
Yeah, that's believable.

This is how Pam and Anna became friends:
Pam: You can ride my pony. My mommy can teach you how.
They've been together ever since.

It's like there are only 4 pony breeds: Connemaras, Shetlands, Welsh ponies, and Morgans, even though MORGANS AREN'T PONIES!

What a coincidence, Lightning and Cloud are from the same place! Because there's only one place to get Connemaras, didn't you know?

Omg. Guess what they're having at Pam's house for dinner.
Spaghetti
and
meatballs.

Lulu asks Mrs. Crandal if she'd be interested in buying Cloud. The Pony Pals get mad because she "broke a Pony Pal rule". The following ensues.
Pam: Why did you ask my mother to buy Cloud?
Lulu: I thought it was a good idea.
Anna: You should have talked to Pam and me about it first. It's a Pony Pal rule.
First of all, it's "Pam and I", and that's a stupid rule. "I'm going to the bathroom, guys." "No, I think it would be best if you didn't." "But I need to." "Oh dear, this calls for 3 ideas." Please continue.
Pam: You asked her at the worst time. My mother needs someone to take care of ponies, not another pony to take care of.
Lulu: It's not big deal. She said no.
Yaay Lulu.
Pam is still all, "BREAKING A PONY PAL RULE IS A BIG DEAL!!!"

Aargh, just call PETA!!!! What's with this sneaking around???

Cloud throws Lulu while Pam screams from the sidelines, "REIN HIM IN! REIN HIM IN!"

You suck, Pam.
Maggie: You pulled too hard on his mouth. Maybe you haven't ridden so much, after all.
Pam: She hasn't.

Omg, Pam is way awful!!!
Lulu: Pam should know if a pony is safe to ride. I trusted her.
Pam: And I trusted that you know how to ride.
Lulu: You're so smart about ponies. You knew it was dangerous for me to tget on Cloud and you let me do it! You care more about solving Pony Pal problems than you do about your Pony Pals.
So true. You've hit the nail on the proverbial head, Lulu. Pam's weak response:
Pam: Maybe you did pull too hard on his mouth!

Anna's not too helpful, either.
"This Pony Pal problem is more important than your little fight."
Cult behavior. This is classic cult behavior.

Lame. "A woman came out leading a Great Dane. She looked like she'd been crying. She smiled at Pam. 'Your father saved my Mitzy's life,' said the woman."
I can just see Dr. Crandal being all, "All in a day's work."

So stalker. Let's go to his house instead of calling him!!

Pam apologizes for being stupid...and Lulu apologizes for breaking a Pony Pal rule. If she hadn't, they probably would've flogged her. I don't think she should've apologized. Lulu, not Pam. I'm actually on her side for once.

Sandy used to live on a farm, but they had to sell it because it wasn't making enough money. That sounds JUST like the movie Acorn and Bette Fleming were in..."Megan's Last Ride" or whatever.

He had a cat named Toots..........

Ew, Sandy looks like Johnathan Taylor Thomas.

Pam prides herself in being a professional detective. Sandy OBVIOUSLY hasn't done much detective work. Whatever.

They go back to the diner...and eat some brownies.

Wait a minute...Sandy wants to buy Cloud back...but he lives in an APARTMENT. And if his parents are really as poor as he says, why did they give him the money they made from selling Cloud??

Anna fixes that problem. It's sort of a bribe, too: Sandy will work for Mrs. Crandal in exchange for boarding Cloud. Nice.

WHAT IS WITH PEOPLE AND RIDING??
Anna: What if Maggie has ruined Cloud for riding? What if he never lets you ride him again?
Sandy: I don't care. I still want to save Cloud.
Well, DUH! It's not like you would be, "Oh, in that case, let's just let him DIE!"

"Sandy kissed Cloud's cheek. Cloud pulled away from him.
'Touch him someplace else,' Pam told Sandy."
:O

Whaaat? Ponies have wolf teeth? Confused. I'm looking that up.

Lulu: And we can make Cloud a warm mash. We'll make it extra soft and delicious.
That struck me as hilariously funny.

"'Lightning and Cloud are friends forever,' Lulu whispered in Pam's ear. 'Just like us.'"
Even after your fight? And Pam's controlling behavior? And the FLOGGING?

An Avalon about unicorns is next...on Kid's WB. Only it's not the WB anymore. It's my Q2, or whatever.

Someone's lost in the woods...again, or Pony Pals #29: Lost and Found Pony

Why this picture is so huge, I have no idea.
Surprisingly, this is probably one of the best Pony Pals books I've ever read. It's not good or fun to read or exciting...but I didn't find anything to complain about for about...15 pages!!!



Plot: Mimi and Rosalie are annoying little tricksters; we all know that. One day, however, they go too far.
It starts when Rosalie catches the Pony Pals getting ready to go for a trail ride (they're neighbors, remember?), and runs and tells Mimi, who wants to come. Since Rosalie is a pushover and does everything Mimi says, she runs back and relays this message to the Pony Pals.
Remember, this book is about Anna, and Anna doesn't do that well with little kids, so she says yes, of course, but tells Rosalie that she and Mimi can NOT join them on the picnic.
So Rosalie goes and tells Mimi.
Who tells Mrs. Bell (the dimwitted babysitter) that the Pony Pals would love to take them on a picnic.
Mrs. Bell is overjoyed that Mimi has friends (ha) and packs a big picnic basket.
Lulu and Pam are a little POed.
All during the trail ride, Rosalie and Mimi are messing around on Tongo and being pests (yelling, screaming, existing, and talking to each other on walkie-talkies even when they are four feet away from each other). They even pretend to be lost in the woods! This is enough for the Pony Pals, so Anna tells them the story of the The Boy Who Cried Wolf, and the little kids don't get it. Now Anna is POed.
Suddenly, a storm starts and Tongo runs away. Then the brats call on the walkie-talkie and say that they ran into a cave and don't know where they are. The Pony Pals think they're getting tricked again, so they ignore them, until the girls start crying and insisting they're "not like the shepherd boy". All right then. So starts a quest to save the midgets.
Questing, questing, Acorn finds clues, Acorn runs away, Acorn finds Tongo, the girls find the cave, bla bla bla.
So at the cave, Anna insists on going in and finding the little girls. She goes in, gets them, they are safe, and neither Mimi nor Rosalie have rabies. And all is well.

More notes:
Rosalie has brown hair all of a sudden. Who lets a six-year-old dye their hair?

Aargh, it's like a Verizon commercial. "Can you hear me now? Good."

I don't find it strange that Mrs. Lacey won't buy Rosalie a pony when they're DIRT POOR AND LIVE IN AN APARTMENT!!!

Mrs. Bell is so gullible. She should NOT be babysitting those children.

Anna: Oh, I don't think they'll be mad.
Ha. I've spent enough time with Pam and Lulu to know that they WILL be mad.

Ha. Pam knows Mimi is full of crap.

Yeah, that's smart, Mimi. "I can ride with one hand!!"

Tongo bolts. Ha.

Anna flips out at Mimi. Lol.
Mimi: Where's my walkie-talkie?
Anna: Your walkie-talkie? You almost got killed. You have to hold on with two hands when you ride. Always.
Mimi: That was fun. It was a Pony Pal adventure.
I seriously think I would have slapped her by this time. Seriously. This girl is such a PILL.

Ha. Anna threatens to take her back home to get her to shut up.

Tongo is the lamest pony ever. He's scared of WATER.

Mimi and Rosalie have a walkie-talkie conversation. They're sitting a few feet away from each other the entire time. Yeah, they're six, all right.

ROSALIE STILL HAS BROWN HAIR! AND ALL THE PONIES LOOK LIKE CAMARGUES: ALL THE SAME!!!

Ew, and Rosalie has gross bangs.

Mimi: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Anna: To get to the other side.
Mimi: Wrong! The chicken crossed the road to see her friend.
Anna: Very funny.
Lulu: Very silly.
And Lulu is definitely an only child.

Omg, Rosalie and Mimi are joking about getting attacked by a bear. Mike is most likely not in Boy Scouts.

Ugh, Anna's going to tell them a parable to make them change their mind. IT WON'T WORK.

Great. Mimi justifies lying as "joking".

And now they're being attacked by a wolf.

Mimi: Ugh, they're so bossy.
Ha! Said Mimi.

Wait, Lulu is allowed to go off into the woods by herself, and the little kids aren't??? "DON'T GO OFF BY YOURSELF!" Yeah, right.

Anna lies about Tongo being missing. Oh, but she was just "joking".

Paul Bachem's drawings of Tongo always suck, but his Acorns in this book are really good.

Hmmm...Acorn is Anna's "wonderful pony hero".

You see how short that was!!!?? It must have been good. Coming up soon: Avalon #2: All That Glitters (probably my favorite book in the series, which means it's probably awful).
Some more chicken jokes that are funnier than Mimi's.

Awwwww, it's sooooo cute, or Pony Pals #28: The Newborn Pony

Get ready, kids, because I have SOOOO many books coming up it's not even funny! 3 Balinors, 2 Avalons, and 2 nameless horse books from a depressing and awful series? Pretty much. I, unfortunately, haven't read any of them just yet, so you'll have to stick with the Pony Pals for now.



Plot: Yay, Beauty got knocked up and is going to have a baby!! Strange, this has never been mentioned before.... It appears that Beauty's due date is near, so the Pony Pals offer to stay up all night with her to make sure nothing goes wrong. During the night, Beauty gives birth to a beautiful baby boy. Everyone admires it, and then leave to eat breakfast.
The next morning, Mike Lacey shows up, claiming he wants to see the pony. After a mean trick, the Pony Pals aren't so sure that's the case, so they threaten to tell everyone he is afraid of ponies if he doesn't cut it out. Oooooo....
Oh no, the foal is stricken with pneumonia!!! The Pony Pals and Mike stay up for another night to take care of the poor creature. But don't worry, it's a Pony Pals book; it's not like he's going to DIE! He gets better immediately, so Mike and the Pony Pals decide to each come up with a name, then everyone will vote. Mike comes up with a WONDERFUL name that everyone likes, so the foal is christened "Miracle". Yay.

More notes:
She insists on saying "chestnut-colored".

SINCE WHEN IS BEAUTY PREGNANT?? And how have 11 months passed with us not knowing? I bet I know who the father is, though.

AGH, CRAPPY PONY DRAWINGS!!

Jeanne Betancourt has reused the same "Galloping feels like flying!" paragraph in like 3 books.

Ms. Wiggins: It would be wonderful to have some help. Are you sure you don't mind? It's not as much fun as camping in the hills.
Um, let's see, hole in the ground vs. toilets and running water, real food vs. food over the campfire, I'd rather sleep at your house, Ms. Wiggins.

They call the paddock Beauty's "little yard". I guess Jeanne forgot the terminology.

Pam always has to sound so smart.

I think the Pony Pals wake up every morning and go, "Hm, lovely day, this reminds me of how I met my two best friends." I mean, really, who thinks about their best friends while setting up a tent?

"Lulu thought living in Wiggins would be boring. Then she met Anna and Pam and became a Pony Pal. And then she got Snow White."
That writing makes me cringe.

Of course Snow White will like the baby. Snow White is obsessed with babies.

I think "Black Beauty" is the only movie they've ever seen.

It's easy to mistake people for bears or deer when you're riding...in broad daylight.

Lol, Mike screams like a little girl.

A beautiful drawing of Snow White. She looks like a carousel pony. Mike looks like Eminem.

Being scared of ponies isn't that big a deal.

AAAAAAAAAGH! THEY'RE HAVING SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS FOR DINNER!!!!!!

Anna brings brownies. *shakes head*

He's described as brown with black stockings. The foal on the cover definitely doesn't fit that description.

His marking looks more like a crescent moon than a half moon, Lulu.

Aw, he's so adorable.

They said "teat" in a children's book!!

LOL, Tommy and Mike push their tent over...while they're in it. The drawing is quite odd, though, because Anna somehow ends up on top of Lulu.

ROFL! "'Do you think an animal could have pushed the tent over?' asked Pam. 'Like a cow?'"

"'Maybe a deer did it,' suggested Anna. 'A big deer. And it ran away.'"

How is this a mystery? It was so obviously Tommy and Mike. And why must you always make everything a mystery, Pam?

Mike practically confesses. "It wasn't my idea!!!"

OMG, DUH, IT WAS TOMMY AND MIKE! OF COURSE THEY LEFT TRACKS THAT ARE TOO BIG TO BE YOUR OWN!! YOU'RE SO DUMB!!

I love how their lives revolve around riding. "Oh no, I almost broke my leg! You can't ride with a broken leg!" "That's nothing! I have AIDs! You can't ride with AIDs!" "Well, I have dyslexia! You can't ride with dyslexia!"

They write him a threatening letter.
Mike: We know that you and Tommy tipped over our tent. We have evidence to prove it. If you do anything mean and dangerous like that again, we'll tell Ms. Wiggins. You better leave us alone or you could lose your job.

Pam, Anna, Lulu

P.S. We saw how afraid you were when you fed Picasso. We were spying on you. [That's not stalker-y or anything.]

P.P.S. Watch out for Pony Power! [I think this is why he makes fun of you.]

Btw, who was the person that said, "Boys make fun of you when they like you?" Or maybe all boys are jackasses.

Tommy's idea for a name is Turd. Because the pony is brown.

Ms. Wiggins is so dense.

Okay, Rascal is an okay name, but wth Pam? "His eyes already sparkle with mischief."

Oooh, a very nice drawing of Snow White. Wth, horses and ponies neigh all the time. That doesn't mean someone is dead.

Wth? "Oh no, the foal is congested!" Then give him a Sudafed.

Wow. The Pony Pals fight back.
Tommy: Has the little pony got a little cold-y?
Mike: Quit it, Tomy. This could be serious.
Lulu: Not everything is a joke, Tommy Rand.
Tommy: Well, the Pony Pests are one big joke. You make me laugh all day long.
Pam: And you make me sick. Don't you take anything seriously?
Wth, Lulu stops Pam and is all, "This is not the time to fight with Tommy Rand." Isn't that what you were doing, Mrs. Hypocrite??

Ooh, Tommy uses bad grammar to up his cool factor. "We got better stuff to do."

Ew, Paul Bachem drew the UGLIEST picture of Beauty. Her face is humongous.

Wth, everyone has 90 minutes on watch, but Mr. Silver, the OLD GUY, has 2 hours. Lame.

Ew, foaly is really ugly in the next picture, and Mike is all up against the wall for some reason. Like a Boys Like Girls song.

Go Pam!
Mike: Okay, okay. I get it. I'm not stupid.
Pam: *glare of death* Sometimes you are. When you follow whatever stupid, dumb, dangerous thing Tommy Rand says.
Lulu: You're even afraid of Tommy. And we know you're afraid of ponies, too.
Shut up, Lulu. I hate that this book is about Lulu. Just a lot of Snow White glorification.

Why is it that when they want to stay up late, they eat cookies and juice? Drink Red Bull and you'll be fine.

Mike saves the day...again.

Wth, shut up, Lulu, you ungrateful whore.

If someone is coughing, get them to stand up and it will be all better. Or grab their belly. Says nurse Pam.

WTH, THIS IS NOT SOME EPIC PRANK WAR! MIKE JUST SAVED YOUR FREAKING PONY!

"Lulu looked up and saw a white shape running through the dawning light.
It was Snow White."
That's good, because I was afraid it was a polar bear. Duh, of course it was Snow White.

Lulu and Mike bond over milk.

Pam's name is Rascal.
Lulu's name is Moon, which I would've voted for back in the day, when I was obsessed with all things moon: Sailor Moon, crescent moon, moonshining....
Anna chooses Big Boy?? What kind of name is that? Pam suggests they call him B. B. Maybe if he was a blues artist.

Mike chooses Miracle, and they force him to say why he chose that name.
"Because it's like a miracle that he was born without any problems. Then he got sick, and it's a miracle he didn't die."
Mike said "like" like a valley girl. That's so sappy but kind of sweet.

Mike isn't shy, Lulu, he's just embarassed that he has to talk about ponies with 3 ten-year-old girls.

WHY must you do a secret ballot, just choose a name!!!

Lulu has crappy handwriting.

Miracle wins. I like Moon better.

A horrible picture of Snow White, a very nice picture of Lightning, and Acorn is palomino??? What??

This book was barely about Snow White, and Lulu is all, "Snow White, you saved the whole world from global warming while ending world hunger!!"

Lame. "You're great, Snow White. You are the miracle in my life."
Lol. You are the music in me.

So that's it. Tomorrow I'll talk about Avalon!!! Yay! Magic and talking ferrets. It will be quite fantastic.

I got two pickles, hey hey hey, or Pony Pals #24: Unlucky Pony

Aaargh, this book was so sad. Actually, it mostly sucked, but there was one part that seriously brought tears to my eyes. Yeah, Jeanne Betancourt gets a new illustrator, but fires her and gets a new one in the next book!! Then in #27, it's back to Paul Bachem!! Will we ever be free?



Plot: Remember Lucky? The annoying bratty pony with no mother? The one the Pony Pals finally got rid of? Well, he's back, and more spoiled than ever. Aaargh. Eve Greeley, his owner, is putting up with some pretty dangerous behaviors. Her parents want to get rid of him, so the Pony Pals decide to help Eve train Lucky.
Surprise! Lucky is a brat! He even tramples through someone's corn field!
Eve is pretty sad, but is surprisingly mature about the whole thing, and decides to give Lucky to the Pony Pals rather than see him shipped to a new owner. :*(
Yay! The Pony Pals think up a new plan! Lucky can live at the Crandal's for the time being! Lightning will show him who's boss! And Eve can ride Daisy! Yay!
What promised to be a realistic picture of life with ponies is once again disappointing. But hey, what did you expect from Jeanne Betancourt?

More notes:
Nice, Jeanne. Copy the intro of #3.

Pam insinuates that Eve is retarded because she has crappy handwriting.

Surprise! A new illustrator!! Anna looks normal, but Pam looks at least 60 and Lulu looks like a super model. I wonder who the illustrator's favorite character is.

Another example of Pony Pal hypocrisy: Anna and Lulu gallop up to Pam. I thought that was "dangerous".

AAAAAAAAAAGH! This is the worst letter ever. How old is this girl?:
Dear Pony Pals,
It's me. Eve Greeley. [great way to not use a comma or colon] I adopted the baby pony from you. I named him Lucky. You said that was okay. [GET TO THE POINT!]
Lucky is so cute. He is full of energy. All he wants to do is play and kick and run around. He loves treats.
Do you remember Freckles? [Yes, I could never forget that name.] She doesn't want to play with Lucky anymore. [HA!] But Lucky plays with me.
My dad and mom say Lucky is too hard to handle. But I love him. [AAAAAAAGH!] I want to train him, then I can ride him some day. [What? There should definitely be a so in there.]
Can you help me train Lucky? Please? My dad says it is okay. Our telephone number is 354-90000. [That telephone number does not exist. There should only be 3 zeroes. Get your facts straight, Jeanne.] Please help Lucky and me. [LUCKY AND I! LUCKY AND I!]
Your friend,
Eve
P.S. Lucky will be one year old next week.

Way to repeat yourself.

WHY ARE THEY SUDDENLY ON VACATION!!?? Wait a minute! It's been a year since they took care of Lucky. ALL OF THEM ARE STILL TEN YEARS OLD!!! How many summers have passed since then?? THEY'RE FROZEN IN TIME!

Heh. I remember the first time the ponies met Lucky. Acorn and Lightning tried to kill him.

Omg, Jeanne totally worships Lulu in this one. She's all talking about Lulu is soooo saaaaad not to have a mother, so that makes her love baby animals with no mothers. *sob sob sob* Not. :P

I'm really trying to figure out how Snow White could've gotten trapped in that barbed wire.

Continuity error. Anna got Acorn when she was 9, not 10.

Pam spells "cozy" wrong, and Anna puts too much food in Lucky's feed bin. Didn't she freak out when a 6 year old overfed Acorn?

OMG!!! THE GREELEYS GET IN AN ACCIDENT! THE VIOLENCE! THE VIOLENCE!!

But no one is seriously hurt. Lucky has a cut on his leg.

Whatever. This illustrator can't draw black people. Pam looks like a boy with a huge mouth.

Yeah, let the Pony Pals go find Lucky. Smart.

They care more about the station wagon than they do the Greeleys.

LOL, the Pony Pals are friends with a police officer. They haven't been doing time, have they?

Okay, I thought Lucky wasn't badly hurt, but they find enough blood on the ground to fill a horror movie.

OMG, Pam is such a pessimist!! She keeps thinking Lucky will bleed to death!

Bla bla bla, another examples of how ponies are AAAALWAYS right.

BAY AND BROWN ARE NOT THE SAME THING!!!

Aaagh. The guy's mad because the pony's trampling his corn. Give him a break.

LOL!
"'I'll give you five minutes,' the man said. The corners of his mouth turned up in an evil grin. 'And since it's your pony, you're responsible for the damage to my corn crop.'" OMG THAT'S SO CONNIVING AND HILARIOUS! The Pony Pals never have to pay, tho. :P

Pam starts singing "All the Pretty Horses" to lure Lucky towards her. Wth? Is she trying to seduce him?

Yeah, that's right. It's not just a shallow cut on the leg, Dr. Crandal.

The farmer calls her an idiot and questions her methods. LOL it's cracking me up.

Ooookay, this is so not how I pictured Mr. Farmer. He looks like one of the people that heads the Star Wars conventions.

He's right, you know. Isn't this rescue mission making Lucky more spoiled?

Okay, I REALLY hate how the Pony Pals are all calling Lucky spoiled and badly behaved, but Acorn does a lot of these things and it's "cute". Lightning bites people, and she's "sick". Snow White gets sick all the time. Whatever. That's so a cry for attention. I just wish their ponies threw the occasional shoe or seemed at least a little normal.

Eve looks like a Cabbage Patch doll.

IT'S NOT A DEEP CUT???? Then where did all that blood come from????

"That pony should have been named Trouble instead of Lucky." Right. Ha ha. Rolling around on the floor here.

Go Freckles. Knock some sense into that boy.

EWWWW, how creepy does this sound??
"But even if I had time, I'm not that interested in ponies. I prefer little girls. And cats. I like cats."
OMG!!!!! Lock all your doors and windows, children. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR!

Eve totally makes it sound like she's in an abusive relationship rather than having pony trouble.

Lame. They won't let Eve in their club. Wasn't she like 9 in SS1? That's not that much younger. And yet they group her with Mimi and Rosalie. :P

SERIOUSLY, read this. If you didn't know it was about a pony, you would think this was off of Dr. Phil or something.
Anna: What else does he do that he shouldn't?
Eve: He pushes me. Once he stepped on my foot. It hurt.
Anna: If he pushes you, Eve, elbow him. You have to be firm with him.
Lulu: What else does he do that you don't like?
Eve: Sometimes he scares me. I think he's going to kick me. I'm even afraid to brush him.

Lucky's being spoiled isn't all your fault, Eve. It's actually the PONY PALS fault. I love how their not taking responsibility at all.

LAME, Lulu looks like a supermodel in every picture.

AAAAAAAAAAAAGH THEY'RE HAVING SPAGHETTI!!! AGAIN!!

Weren't Jack and Jill 6 a while back? Did they go back in time?

Lame. They watch "Black Beauty" and Eve cries. Way to go.

Eve cries herself to sleep.

Just because Eve loves Lucky doesn't mean she should get to keep him. I loved Howard (the only other dog I've ever had, and I had him for a grand total of three days), but he bit Nathan's face off. Man up, Eve.

NOT EVERYONE LIKES PONIES! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL!

Since when is Lightning Supermom? Didn't she attack Lucky the first time she met him? And wasn't Snow White the one who was all matronly? What's with the Lightning/Lucky BFF thing going on?

Susan Royer Rigby (new illustrator) can draw horses and ponies pretty well...but I miss Vivien Kubbos. She was da bomb, even if she did mix up Lulu and Anna.

Wait, Lucky is a year old? The pictures make him look like a newborn.

LOL, they decide to let Lightning teach Lucky to behave. It totally reminded me of the song "Smack" by Ugly Duckling. SMACK! You needed that, I'LL TEACH YOU HOW TO ACT. LOL cracks me up.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH the worst Anna drawing yet!!! The people in it look like SMURFS!!

Wouldn't throwing a birthday party for Lucky make him MORE spoiled?

WHAT? Pam says Eve won't be able to ride Lucky for years. Um, don't people start riding their horses at age 2?

Lucky attacks Lightning. He's so brave.

Aaargh. Eve is a great rider. I want someone to ride badly and see what happens. Wait. Rema was a bad rider and a snob. I guess the moral of this story is if you can't ride, you're an awful person. I guess this means I would not fit in in Wiggins.

Pam is the biggest pessimist EVER.

If the horse is biting and kicking your mother, HE IS NOT MAKING PROGRESS!!

Ew, an awful drawing of Pam with a really huge face.

Retarded. Lulu is being all sneaky about a present. We never actually find out what it is.

This part is so sad! I felt for Eve. Me and feel probably don't go in the same sentence, but for realz...
Dear Pony Pals,
I have a present for you. It is Lucky. [Okay, this might be sad, but COLONS!!!] I can't take care of him. You will love him and train him. He'll play with your ponies. Please let Lucky be a Pony Pal. [Since you won't let Eve be one. :P]
Your friend,
Eve
Awwwww. This is the first time in Pony Pals history that any character has shown even an ounce of maturity!

And then we see Eve's pitiful drawings of ponies. They're pretty bad and they ruin the mood.

Aaargh. They decide to board Lucky for free. WHAT'S WITH ALL THIS "FOR FREE" STUFF?

They say "yummy".

I've never seen silver sprinkles.

I THOUGHT PONY PAL TRAIL WAS A SECRET!

Lol. They make "Lucky's #1!" jokes.

Retarded. Mr. and Mrs. Greeley go for it.

Aaargh. I just wanted the parents to get rid of Lucky and have the characters actually GROW for a change. But no. No no no no.
OMG!!! I found my ancient (like, 6th grade) end to the Pony Pals. It was written like 10 years after the whole series. Lulu marries Mark, Pam marries some dude, Anna marries Charlie, and Tommy and Mike get trampled in a Winnie the Pooh parade. That was the only part I liked. It was pretty badly written. Anna was all abusive, Pam was in love with herself, and Lulu kept saying, "Omigosh! Acorn! Omigosh!" Aaagh. I love the part about the parade, though. Made my day.

The world is a cruel, cruel place, or Pony Pals #16: The Missing Pony Pal

AAAAAAAAAAAARGH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! THIS BOOK SUCKED! I wish I could give it an F! I wish I could give it lower than an F! I wish I could ban every this book from every library and every bookstore in the world. AAAAAAGH! It SUCKED SO BAD!



Plot: Oh boy! A gymkhana! Lulu and Snow White LOVE gymkhana! But when practicing pole bending, Snow White leans too far and she and Lulu topple over. Lulu ends up bruising her thigh and Snow White sprains a tendon.
The next 70 pages are a bunch of CRAP on how AWFUL Lulu FEELS about EVERYTHING that she EVER DID, including get born. Haaaaate.
The Pony Pals try to convince Lulu it was an accident, but she doesn't believe them and literally runs into the woods (DURING A STORM!) after vowing never to ride again.
She comes back, unfortunately, and realizes that she is a big IDIOT and that it was an accident and she needs to STOP BEING SUCH A FREAKING WIMP. So then the Pony Pals win all the gymkhana games. BOOOOOOOO!

More notes:
I literally marked every single page.

I'm tired of the mention of Lulu's stay in England, and Lightning's valiant kitten rescue.

Pole bending race. Sort of self explanatory. Or at least easy to explain.

They leave Lulu lying on the ground after she falls.

Pam looks like Mrs. Laners....

Lulu has to go to the hospital. In an ambulance. Whatever.

She has NOT been living in Wiggins a short time. She's experienced like 6 summer vacations!

Why do Anna and Pam have to be exact opposites? Black, white. Tall, short. Smart, dumb. Bad artist, good artist.

I think Lulu DID hurt her brain in the fall. Or maybe it's always been like that.

Grandmother Sanders = ridiculously old fashioned. I bet she still wears petticoats.

How does the doctor know she has a big bruise on her thigh? Did he take off her pants?

Lulu thinks Snow White might be dead. Right.

Thank you for making the situation worse, Dr. Crandal.

THEY'RE EATING SPAGHETTI AGAIN!

Ponies don't moan. Or have nightmares.

WTH???? At the gymkhana, there will be a costume parade. Anna's ideas include a banana and...I'm not sure what that is. Also an artist and THE PONY COULD BE A PALETTE! HAHAHAHAHA!

Lulu would not be a good princess. Actually, yes she would. She whines a lot, but doesn't do anything about it.

Lulu keeps dwelling on stupid Snow White. "Omg, I almost KILLED my pony. *sob sob sob*"

Who's Paint? Since when do the Crandals have more than 2 riding ponies? I thought Mrs. Crandal didn't NEED a third pony!!!! WHO IS PAINT???

That's right, Lulu. Acting like a *itch will make everyone feel better.

Anna and Pam look like they want to kill Lulu.

IT'S A RACE! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GO FAST!
Lulu: Uh-uh! Safety first!
AAAAGH! SHUT UP!

Omg. Lulu = no sense of humor. Because riding is serious business. And you're not allowed to have fun with ponies.

I have nothing bad to say about Pam and Anna this whole book. I actually feel REALLY sorry for both of them.

Oooh, burn.
Pam: We need to have a Pony Pal meeting right now.
Lulu: About what?
Anna: About YOU!

They called Splash A GIRL. Um, Splash is A BOY. And Splash is NOT A NICE CALM PONY. Remember? Always rushing ahead?

Lulu is scared of squirrels.

Maybe Snow White is ignoring you because you're so FREAKING ANNOYING!!

Grandma Sandy, NOT HELPING.

YOU DIDN'T ALMOST KILL YOUR PONY! HORSES FALL DOWN IN LOTR ALL THE TIME!

THE PONY PALS ARE ACTUALLY APOLOGIZING!!!!! Well, Lulu isn't. But Pam and Anna are apologizing to her!!!! Huh. I'm proud of them.

They call Acorn a girl, too.

This totally reminds me of "Wizard Angst". "I QUIT MAGIC!"

Yeah, running into the woods is smart.

Where's the comma? "Lulu stop!"

Oh no, you're breaking all 5 Safety in the Woods rules!

OMG, Lulu almost gets struck by lightning. I cracked up laughing when I read that part.

They almost get hit by lightning again. And ANNA IS TALLER THAN PAM!!

Good thing Lulu knows how to track. The ONE thing she ever does right.

I don't think your ponies care that you are gone.

You don't have to ride to be a Pony Pal. I could be a Pony Pal if I wanted. I mean, I love ponies, I don't understand people, and I have no social skills.

Oh. We just got trapped in the woods for 2 hours. Want to go get lunch at the diner?

Anna just told Lulu to shut up. GO ANNA!

And then Anna starts crying. Yeah.

Aaaah, Lulu is not being a leader! THAT'S why Snow White is acting weird!

"My leader is back!" Totally reminds me of, "Take me to your leader."

The sack race has nothing to do with weaving in and out of poles! Stupid.

Yeah, that's right, BE SELFISH! Now your friends can't compete in the gymkhana games. Jerk.

Oh, such a sacrifice.

They win because Lulu grows a brain.

They lose every other race.

They describe Lulu's outfit to the slightest detail. And the picture is so not worth that 1000 words.

Lulu does not deserve all this special attention.

That SUCKED. Aaaargh. Tomorrow, #17 where they find another cat.

I can't think of a witty title for this one, or Super Special #2: Pony Pals: The Story of Our Ponies

I used to like this one. But now I really hate all super specials. And I have no idea how Super Special #4 is going to work, because its in the perspective of all three characters, but its mostly about Pam being a peacemaker and Lulu and Anna being brats. AS USUAL.



Plot: Snow White had a son! Who knew? The son, named Snowflake, comes to Wiggins with his owner Mark. Lulu really enjoys learning fascinating things about Snow White and decides to write her life story. Pam and Anna, being copy cats, do the same thing with their ponies.
Basically the whole book is about the history of the ponies.
Yay, Snow White was raised by Mark.
Yay, Acorn was owned by someone with cerebral palsy who gained confidence from ponies.
Yay, Lightning was born in Ireland.
When they're all done learning, the Pony Pals make a book and donate it to the library.
Oh yeah, and Snowflake is being sold and Lulu wants to buy him, but can't, so the Pony Pals try to force Mrs. Wiggins to buy him. That seems to be their motto: When in doubt, make Ms. Wiggins buy a pony.
But Snowflake goes to a little girl in Falls City, which *gasp* is very close to Wiggins! The day is saved!

More notes:
Snowflake is kind of a bad name for a boy horse.

"Snow White's story". How original.

"We'll help you with spelling." Or you could use a computer...with spellcheck!

Pam has a mosquito bite on her forehead. Or so she says.

I wish the Mrs. Crandal would stop mentioning Splash and Daisy every 5 seconds.

I like how they were all shocked that Victoria Winters would want to sell horses for a living, but are completely cool with Mark doing it for a living. Cuz Mark's a hottie.

Lulu looks all Emily Strange in one picture.

Rema doesn't want Mark to think she's nice; she wants Mark to think she's sexually desirable.

Didn't we already know that Acorn had 8 owners?

Wait, how old is Mr. Olson is Acorn's mother was his childhood pony...? Acorn is way old.

Connemaras are Irish. Shockingly enough, Lightning was born in Ireland.

Lulu wants Marks' body. I remember writing a Pony Pals story where Lulu married Mark, Anna married Charlie and worked at a diner because she was poor, and Pam just became all mean and didn't marry Tommy? It was lame. And something about a black horse named Samson. Because I am obsessed with black horses named Samson.

If they want this book to seem all professional, they shouldn't type stuff like, "Snow White is my beautiful pony. Hugs and kisses forever."

Pam loves unnecessary information. "Four years ago my mother and father bought a Connemara pony from you. Her name is Lightning and she is mine." Right. Duh. And those sentences could've been combined into one shorter sentence.

Pony Pal Pancake Special? I think this is supposed to be a joke: blueberry pancakes...*stifles giggle*...WITH A CARROT ON TOP!!! Yeah, not funny.

PONIES DO NOT HAVE PLAYDATES!!! Dogs have playdates. Little kids have playdates. Ponies don't do playdates.

"Beauty looks so beautiful!" Ha. Couldn't think of a different adjective.

I like how all the Pony Pals take credit for "saving Beauty's life" when it was mostly Pam.

Sally Southack uses crutches because she has a disability, not because she fell off Acorn!!! Geez, Anna. What is he, like 3 feet off the ground?

Sally sounds Southern (ew, alliteration). "Acorn, get yourself over here!"

Sally = way pretty.

Anna likes unnecessary information, too. "Pam is going to write down what you say about Acorn. It's hard for me to listen and write at the same time. I'm dyslexic." You could've said, "I'm dyslexic."

Shetland ponies do not cause cerebral palsy.

Where do they get off talking about Tommy behind his back? They've told at least 6 people already, "He's a show offy jerk pants!"

I hate people that name their horses full sentences, such as Like the Wind, or Dapperton's Dapper Dappy Dappled Dimple. And then they give them nicknames that are totally unrelated, like Ranger, because he likes grass???

"Connemara ponies live like goats in the hills." Ooooookay, does that imply that they act like goats? A less confused way to say it would be, "Connemara ponies live in the hills like goats."

Yay, an owner that actually gives the horse credit!

"Maybe Lightning should've been left in the wild...." Yeah, and then she could starve to death with the rest of her kind.

Anna has never used e-mail. Yes.

Aaargh, because Mr. Kelly is Irish, he has to use words like "wee" and "creature" and "fine" and say stuff in Gaelic.

Winnie-the-Pooh can't be classified as a teddy bear.

There's not much Tommy can do to you when you're on horseback. Stupid Anna.

They hyphenate AND italicize "all right". Pam says it, "All-right!"

Aw, Tommy looks so cute as Winnie-the-Pooh. Acorn, on the other hand, is the ugliest Acorn I have ever seen.

"Acorn is my best friend. I can tell him all of my problems." I would not want that published.

Because I'm also dyslexic, I thought the first sentence said something about the Pony Pals eating hay. I was all, "Wth???? Is this how you get your kicks? Chewing grass? Most people smoke it...."

I doubt your dad is going to be willing to buy you another pony, Lulu. Especially since the last time you bought one it turned out to be a sickly wimp.

Mr. Sanders is in India again???

Mrs. Crandal only has two ponies: Splash and Daisy. What? What did she do before book #6??? I think she could afford another pony. BUY SNOWFLAKE!

Sucking up NEVER works.

Argh, shut up, Lulu, about stupid Snowflake. It hurts her freaking heart. Suck it up.

I thought this was a story about Lightning's life. A step-by-step process of how Lightning was put into an airplane isn't that vital to the story.

Lightning used to be anorexic. And cute. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU???

Ugh, a little joke about the stupid upside-down heart on Lightning's head.

STOP MENTIONING THOSE STUPID KITTENS!!!! We get it, Lightning's a HERO!!!

Heh. I can make copies for free at school. Although I don't really have any copies I want to make.

Lulu making me way angry. NO ONE CARES ABOUT SNOWFLAKE!

Confusing illustration on the cover of the book: there is a pasture and some grass, but the pony has no body. Just a head. Floating in the grass?

She already bought Beauty. I don't think Ms. Wiggins wants another sickly pony.

But she sees through their scam. Like it was so subtle.

"We used all of our Pony Pal power. It just didn't work this time." Or maybe you don't have any power.

Oh, because I want to waste time reading a book about ponies written by ten-year-olds.

Ew, Mark likes hanging out with Pony Pals.

I notice whenever their is a pony for sale, it's auctioned off to some little dark-haired girl who is never seen again. Besides Lulu.

That was lame. But not as lame as "The Blind Pony", which is coming up next. Bah, ten-year-olds.

And stay out! or Pony Pals #12: Keep out, Pony!

Yeah, I know I said I'd wait for "Circus Pony" before I posted again, but I'm a pretty impatient person, and that little 7-year-old kid isn't reading fast enough. And I have 12-15 in my possession and no other books to read.... So "Circus Pony" will have to wait. I said that last time, didn't I? I've put a hold on #16 and I'm pretty excited about that one. Lulu gets in a tragic accident. But she doesn't die. Awwww.... And she has to conquer a fear of riding again. Sort of lame, but I'm looking forward to tragic accident. But on to "Keep Out, Pony!"



Plot: Pam is going on a ride with her buddy and partner-in-crime Lightning and her annoying dog Woolie when she comes upon a sheep pen in the middle of Pony Pal Trail! You all remember Pony Pal Trail, right? If you don't (I might have never told you about it), it's the mile-and-a-half trail that connects Pam and Anna's houses. Since Lulu now lives right next to Anna, it becomes EXTRA convenient for all the lil friends to meet and greet and...yeah. BUT THERE ARE SHEEP ON PONY PAL TRAIL! Anna and Lulu come upon the sheep, too, and all of them are very confoozed. Woolie isn't, however. He likes to bark at sheep, because he is a SHEEPDOG. Haha. Not.
GASP! The new owners of the property come to chase the Pony Pals away and tell them to NEVER TRESPASS ON THEIR PROPERTY AGAIN!!!
The Pony Pals are crushed. THEY LOVE PONY PAL TRAIL! But it does not love them back. So they try to think up ideas to get the Stewarts to let them back on the trail.
They write the Stewarts a nice letter.
No dice.
They invite the Stewarts over for a tea party!
The Stewarts accept the invitation...only to not attend due to their pregnant sheep.
It seems the Pony Pals will never get their trail back. But then, after trespassing on the Stewarts' property AGAIN, they find a newborn lamb stuck in the bushes. It got seperated from its mammy! They take care of it and put it back with its mammy, while Woolie watches the flock (awwwww). Mrs. Stewart comes home, finds the girls, and is furious...until she finds out they saved a lamb. This changes her mind about everything, and the Pony Pals get the trail back! Yaaaaaaaaaay!

More notes:
I hate Woolie. So Happy from "7th Heaven". It annoys me.

I want to know exactly what was going through Pam's head at that moment: Zut alors! Sheep!

Snow White scared of sheep. Hate.

Mr. Stewart comes out carrying a big stick. Wth? Violent much?

The stupid Pony Pals riff is back and its bigger than ever before.

"Pam brushed Woolie's golden bangs back with her fingers and looked into his eyes." That does NOT sound like they're referring to a dog.

The origins of the Pony Pal trail, how exciting. It can't be THAT secret. Come on, people LIVE on it.

These girls can eat a mess of brownies.

They only go riding on weekends? Together? Don't horses need more that?

If they live there and are building a sheep pen, I think they own.

"Cynthia Prindle Stewart"? What kind of name is that?

Who is Julie Rosen? Since when has she let the Pony Pals ride on her land? WHO IS THIS WOMAN?

Mr. Crandal is so mean. OMG, DAISY IS BACK! Remember her #6? They never reference other books, besides #1 and #2.

"Come on, Lightning. Do it for Woolie." That sounds wrong.

The girls congratulate each other for sneaking onto the Stewarts' property without being noticed.

Pam writes a letter. Part of it says, "Our ponies are very well-behaved." Um, isn't Acorn always being mischevious and running away from Anna? And doesn't Lightning get moody and bite people?

Heh. Mrs. Stewart sends Pam hatemail.

Pam is so pessimistic.

Wth, they're in 5th grade. What kind of school do they go to? 5th graders and 8th graders are schooled together and they all get LOCKERS? Unfair.

"Do something nice for the Stewarts." LIKE WHAT? LIKE WHAT?

What is it with these Wiggins-y people and free business? "Oh, my dad will build two gates in the sheep pen for FREE!"

Who uses the word "companion" in 5th grade? Actually, Kelvin did sometimes. Heh. Kelvin. I remember that kid.

Doesn't the second bell mean you're late? The Pony Pals are skipping class!!!

I agree, Pam. Throwing a grown-up party for the Stewarts is a bad idea.

They lie and tell Mrs. Stewart about a party that doesn't exist. Oh, wait, it's a TEA PARTY. For GROWN UPS.

Why is Ms. Wiggins in Paris???? Did she get bored with Conecticut and leave?

Apparently Lulu is a tea party expert.

Lol, for a whole page they discuss this and I totally pictured them with British accents.

What a wonderful menu.
Cucumber sandwhiches, a lamb cake (not made out of lambs), brownies, candy, fruit punch, tea.
Sounds like a little kid's birthday party. Minus the gross sandwhiches.

Okay, I'm probably just crazy, but COME ON, EDITORS!
*they see the lamb*
Anna: It's so cute.
Lulu: Look! There's ANOTHER baby lamb.
Anna: There's ANOTHER baby lamb.
Pam: She had twins!
What??? Didn't you just say there were three??? SO CONFUSED.

Dang, three babies? How many babies can sheep pop out?

Queenie is an awful name. And the lamb looks like a dog with a bad haircut.

Ew, picture of Mrs. Stewart. She's way old. I was totally picturing some newlyweds with a sheep fetish.

Again, the Pony Pals don't want to be paid to be sheep sitters. How ELSE are you going to pay for all those brownies you eat?

Anna's father is a carpenter? I thought he was a firefighter.....

Remind me how Lightning assisted in saving Pony Pal Trail. Really, I can't figure this out. She just acted crabby and comforted Pam in her despair. That's not that much of an accomplishment.

So that's that. I really want a lamb cake. I also finished the one about the city girl who hated ponies, so I'll post when I's done wif dis. Aaargh, the next one discussed the Pony Pals' lack of social skills. You'll see for yourselves.

Wild thing, you make my heart sing, or Pony Pals #9: The Wild Pony

This was the first Pony Pals I ever read. And probably the one that made me like Pam. I have distant memories of always getting mad at Lulu and Anna during Pam books. I officially change my vote on the poll from Lulu to Pam. Because Lulu is driving me insane.
I wish I still had my Fisher Price people. I really want to play Pony Pals. With or without ponies.



Plot: Pam is out riding one day when she sees a strange pony in front of an abandoned house. Its coat looks awful and it's really skinny, so Pam assumes it must be wild. Also, it seems terrified of humans and runs away every time it sees anyone. Hm.
So Pam tells the Pony Pals about it, so they follow the pony and she runs away. Big surprise.
They then go to Mrs. Baxter's house and ask her who owned the old house. She says it's owned by Mr. Kennedy, who moved to California and is still trying to sell the house, but she doesn't remember him having a pony.
Pam tells her parents. They basically tell her the same thing.
After all this lack of adult help, they convince the pony to take oats from them. They do this every day and groom her and give her a doctor's checkup, bla bla bla. Oh no, she's head shy. Yeah. Abuse issues. And her name is Beauty. Lame pants.
But then Pam doesn't tell the Pony Pals something or other, or does something without them, and they get all mad at her, but Pam basically says, "Screw you," and ignores them. She also sends a fax to Mr. Kennedy, which he replies to by saying, "STAY OFF MY PROPERTY! AND I'M SELLING THAT HORSE TO THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE!" Pam is heartbroken, and feels really awful, and the Pony Pals accept her apology, which MADE ME SO MAD, because they're little hos and should be apologizing.
So the Pony Pals work together and take care of Beauty, bla bla bla, and then they try to convince Ms. Wiggins to buy her, but Ms. Wiggins don't want no pony. It's been 3 months since Winston died and she's just too sad.
But, like everyone else, she gives in to the Pony Pals, buys Beauty, and everyone is happy. Aaaargh.

More notes:
Horses bob heads in greeting. Isn't that a bird thing? Waaak! *bob bob bob*

Anna: What's so strange about seeing a pony? Lots of people have ponies around here.
Who? You, Anita Rand, Mr. Olson, Ms. Wiggins...that's not that many people.

Lulu convinces Pam to break the law. Pam actually has common sense, but noooooo. She's smart, but she gives in all the time. HATE LULU. HATE. And Anna needs to pick a side. When Pam's mad at Lulu, she's on Pam's side. When Lulu's mad at Pam, she's on Lulu's side. Loser.

Since when is Lulu sad about her dead mom? She never mentions it. Anna and Pam do, though. ALL THE TIME.

If Lulu's been living there for a year or two (at least), she's not that new to Wiggins.

Anna does NOT have fun ideas.

So lame. The cook's name is Cook. Why couldn't they give her/him a normal name, like Kirk Hammett?

Mr. Baxter reminds me of Mr. Wilson. From Dennis the Menace.

Oh ho ho. Silly Mrs. Baxter. She just made a lil joke.

THE PONY PALS LIVE IN CONNETICUTT!!! I finally know where they live! Wait...isn't that where "The Baby-Sitter's Club" takes place?

Pam just called an adult dumb. She's not that good with people.

Anna thinks she's so slick. Hello. You're still trespassing. It's against the law.

Lulu: Ponies are herd animals. They love being together.
Not necessarily. What if it was an antisocial pony?

Um, creepy. Lulu speaks horse.

And she tells amusing stories about gorillas.

After Snow White got strangles ONCE, Lulu is convinced every pony must have it. I just really hate her. Snow White, too. Who's barely in this book, actually. Same with the other ponies.

Awwww, really adorable picture of Lightning and Beauty.

Oh no, another, "It's his property," thing. Well, they're right. But no. Listen to authority Pam. I feel like I'm talking to that girl on the office.

Gee, when someone is afraid of something, they usually have a reason for it. If Beauty doesn't like you, she might be afraid of you, or maybe you're just REALLY UGLY, Lulu.

I think they feed her steroids.

Pam: Anna's your friend, too.
Who, Miss Double Allegiances?

Ew, the grooming of Beauty sounds way dirty. Heh. I'm a poet...I won't say the rest.

Anna: Maybe she's ALL black.
That sentence just sounded funny. But for reals, if she was dirty, I think you could still tell if she was white or not.

Dr. Crandal is like the Sin Eater: he pops out of nowhere. Probably out of the ground. I wonder if he wears a cloak.

AAAAAAAARGH! MORGANS ARE NOT PONIES! THEY ARE SHORT, BUT THEY ARE NOT PONIES! I think Jeanne Betancourt is convinced there is no such thing as a horse. Loser. MORGANS ARE NOT PONIES!!!!!! AAAAAAAH! And neither are Appaloosas.

Why do they say "salvage"? Why can't they say "slaughter" like normal people?

Anna can't make any sacrifices for Pam, but Pam must sacrifice. What a wonderful friendship. How has it lasted all these years?

Hm, they found the guy's pony, and she's malnourished and dirty. I think her owner should know. But Lulu doesn't think so. And Anna-can't-think-for-herself thinks so, too.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! "It's two against one, Pam." Maybe she doesn't care and you guys DON'T HAVE TO AGREE ON EVERYTHING.
Anna: ONE Pony Pal can't decide what to do. We ALL have to agree.
It's called thinking for yourself. Try it sometime, Anna. Seriously. They can still take care of Beauty, and they should let Pam do whatever she wants to. Uh oh, Pam pulled the "I found her first" card. Not good.

OMG, PAM JUST DID SOMETHING WITHOUT THE PONY PALS! "I'm going to see Mrs. Baxter now. You can come if you want." BAM! And they choose not to come. GO PAM!

Mrs. Baxter thinks Pam is right. So does...everyone else.

PAM JUST CALLED LULU DUMB!!!
Lulu: Did you talk to Mr. Kennedy?
Pam: No. I sent him a fax. It's like a letter, only the person gets it right away.
Lulu: I know what a fax is!
Ha. Ugh, now she's mad that Pam didn't write it with them. Wait, you didn't WANT to write a fax. Quit beeing a hypocritical little _itch.

Pam: Beauty's not mine and she's not yours. She's Mr. Kennedy's pony.
Anna: You broke the Pony Pal rule that we all have to agree on a Pony Pal plan when we're solving a Pony Pal problem.
That was an awful sentence. Maybe Pam doesn't need the Pony Pals to solve problems. Anna should really listen to her tutor more.
Pam: It's a stupid rule.
Your friends are morons. Leave now...leave them and never return....
Also, switch Lightning with Acorn. You'll be much better off.

What's wrong with this fax?
Dear Mr. Kennedy:
I saw a pony on your property. She looks like she was on her own all winter. She is very skinny and her coat is all muddy. My friends and I are feeding and grooming her. We have our own ponies and know a lot about them. My father says its your pony. He is a veterinarian and says that Beauty is undernourished, but not sick.
We would want to make Beauty beautiful again. We want to train her, too. Then we could find her a good home. It is hard to train Beauty because she's headshy and I can't put a halter on her. Do you know why she is head shy?
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Pam Crandal


PS
You can send me a fax at Baxter Realty.
Actually, there are some grammar problems in that letter and a lot of unnecessary information, but from a TEN YEAR OLD? This is pretty good for a professional letter. You can't expect her to do much better.
Anna: That's not a very good letter.
Just because you don't know how to write....
Lulu is really pretty in this one. And the Pony Pals are actually write about some parts when they critique the letter, but seriously. They're just jealous and mad that she didn't wait for them, even though THEY DIDN'T WANT TO WRITE A LETTER. I hate these girls.

Anna is so prejudiced. AND HOW IS THIS BOSSY?
Pam: You both think Mr. Kennedy is mean. I don't think he is. Today I'm going to see if he sent me an answer to the fax. If you want to come, you can.
Anna: You're so bossy.
WTF??????? AAAAAAAAH! How was that even an order? HATE!

After Pam apologizes, the Pony Pals are suddenly all nice to her.
Anna: Don't cry. It's not all your fault. Mr. Kennedy is a mean man. [Notice they don't take any of the blame upon themselves or acknowledge that they were jerks.]
Lulu: And Mr. Baxter made things even worse. [Again, not taking any of the blame....]

Lame pants. Beauty hit her head on a tree, so she's head shy. WHAT?

Lulu just told Pam to suck it up. And yet she gets horribly mad whenever Pam says this to her. I HATE LULU SO MUCH!!!!!!

Sorry, Pam, but wishful thinking won't help anyone.

I hate how Jeanne Betancourt is trying to make out that Lulu and Anna are being such good friends to Pam, but they're really not. And she's also implying that they were right all along. I think Jeanne is racist.

Pam's is the only idea that makes sense. And it's not technically illegal. It's a loophole in the law.

Pam has to call both the Pony Pals when she has a good idea. BOTH. Lulu can't take the initiative to call Anna herself. And they both have to agree. I HATE THEM BOTH.

MORGANS ARE NOT PONIES!

They are all surprised that Picasso really likes Beauty. I think Picasso is the one who fathers Beauty's baby (book #28). They really need to take Sex Ed. Oh, I forgot, they call it Health nowadays.

AAAAAGH! Ms. Wiggins' name is Wilhemina in this one! So far it's been Wilhemina and Winifred. Mrs. Betancourt needs to pick a name and STICK WITH IT. Personally, I think Winifred is ballin'. I think they use Wilma in later books. That name sucks. :P

Yeah. You have no idea how mad that made me. I feel bad for Pam, but she needs to stick up for herself more often and not fall for fake apologies, OR LACK THERE OF! AAAAARGH! Hate.
There will be a lull in Pony Pals because I'm waiting for "The Baby Pony", but if that doesn't come in, I'll just buy it. And then I have to wait for 10-13. Toodles.

At last! He's leaving!, or Pony Pals #8: Good-bye Pony

This one is so lame. It's about death and denial. I cried my eyes out when I first read this and refused to finish it. Then I played Pony Pals with my Fisher Price people. Don't blame me for the crappiness.



Plot: Ms. Wiggins is teaching Anna and Acorn how to drive a pony cart, because her pony Winston pulls a cart every year for the Winter Festival Parade. She wants Acorn to take over for Winston next year, because Winston is so old. After Anna's horrible lesson, Ms. Wiggins asks the Pony Pals to watch Winston while she goes to an art show where she will be showing her paintings. Ooh, what an artist.
When the Pony Pals go to check on Winston, they find him on the ground. Pam calls her dad and they try to take care of Winston, but Dr. Crandal (I've been spelling it wrong all this time) says he's going to die and there's nothing they can do.
This makes Anna mad. She stays with Winston all night, refuses meals, ignores Acorn, and tries to convince Ms. Wiggins to get another veterinarian because she doesn't believe Winston is going to die.
Then he does. And she was wrong.
So everyone is sad.
YAY, 3 GREAT IDEAS! The Pony Pals decide to have Acorn replace Acorn after all! Only Acorn is being stubborn, and even with Mr. Olson's help, he doesn't learn. Finally, with a little bit of help from HIS pony pals (ew, what a gross sentence) Acorn cooperates, and Ms. Wiggins is happy again. Yeeeeeeee-ha.

More notes:
Acorn looks hecka ugly. I want those pants. Winston is adorable.

Why do they call it the Winter Festival Parade. It's one or the other.

Acorn is huge in the first picture. He's supposed to be short. Like 11.2 hands.

Foreshadowing of the death of Winston. AAAAGH WE GET IT ALREADY!

Anna wants to have a Pony Party. Not loser.

Anna wants to keep Acorn forever. Not seeing this happening.

This is Lulu's "first winter". Um, not really. Remember "A Pony For Keeps"? Wasn't THAT your first winter?? AND HOW ARE YOU STILL IN 5TH GRADE? Did you all get held back? I thought Pam was smart.

Pam is either in a bad mood or she has a mustache.

AAAARGH! MRS. HARLEY'S BROWNIES ARE NOT FAMOUS!!!!

How come whenever a pony is sick or injured the Pony Pals assume it is colic? "He hasn't eaten in 5 days and is looking gaunt." "*gasp* COULD IT BE COLIC?" "...."

Dr. Crandal: There's not much I can do for him.
Anna: WHY AREN'T YOU GIVING HIM MEDICINE AND MAKING HIM BETTER?
Okay, Anna, I know you're slow....

"We Pony Pals have solved a lot of tough problems." Name one.

The Pony Pals seem to really like spaghetti.

Anna is convinced that everyone else is a quitter and that she's a saint.

Anna yells at the Pony Pals for letting Winston lie down. LISTEN TO ME: HE'S GOING TO DIE!!!

Mr. Silver: I dug a hole in the ground before it froze. Just in case.
OMG, THAT IS SO MORBID!!!

Anna thinks Dr. Crandal is the problem. Maybe YOU'RE the problem, Anna. That would solve all the Pony Pal's problems. Actually, not. Lulu needs to go, too.

Anna is mad at Ms. Wiggins for not being there. She misses Winston's death by 5 minutes and Anna thinks she did it on purpose. I hate this kid.

Acorn looks very cute and vaguely Arab. Winston has this huge Roman nose.

Acorn: *pushes Winston to the ground*
Anna: BAD PONY!
Lulu: Maybe he was just telling Winston it's okay to die.
Oh right. I actually agree with Anna on this one.

SHE FINALLY GETS IT.

Pam: I think it's almost the end....
That's like a bad Dickens novel sentence.

Awww, they cut off part of Winston's mane and braid it. That's so sweet. Not even playing.

I love blueberry pancakes.

Ew, a "Miracle Pets" story about how Wiggins saved her life. SOOO lame.

Selfish Anna. She spent all her money on stuff for Acorn when she could've donated it to the St. Francis Animal Shelter in Winston's memory!

ANOTHER GOOD DRAWING FROM ANNA! This is a crazy trend.

Mmm, apple juice and donuts.

Acorn so huge. Anna so short. Pam so pretty. Lulu so annoying.

IT'S MR. OLSON CREEP PANTS! He's lost a lot more hair since book #2.

Mmmm, hot chocolate and cheese sandwhiches.

I think Mrs. Harley and Ms. Wiggins are...you know....

I honestly think Anna thinks Pam is stupid.

Lulu so ugly. Pam so boy. Mr. Olson so Grampa.

And Anna's good drawing streak comes to a halt with the shoebox for Winston.

Ew, Boy Scouts are so evil.

Anna's sister's name used to be Tammy. Now it's Melissa.

You don't have to repeat yourself to make a point. "YOU DID IT, ACORN! YOU DID IT!"

Aaargh. That was painful. I know I've been posting a lot, but I'll slow down, because I only have 1 left and I have to wait for "The Baby Pony" to come in. Yay, the first super special! I'll have fun with that.

Free at last, free at last, or Pony Pals #7: Runaway Pony

Yeah, so the title is pretty self-explanatory. We have a pony. It runs away. And if you've been observing the Pony Pal pattern long enough (Lulu, Anna, Pam), you will know that it is Snow White that has run away. Yeah. So lame.



Plot: Snow White has strangles! I looked that up on wikipedia and that's like equine strep throat. Anyways, she's really contagious, so Lulu hasn't been able to go riding and Snow White has been staying at the Baxter's. :( One day, as Snow White is almost better, Lulu leaves Snow White by herself so she can go to a movie with the Pony Pals.
The next day it snows. And Snow White is gone.
Lulu is beside herself. She's convinced that it's her fault, like maybe she left the stall door open, or whatever, and she moans about it for a long time.
The Pony Pals call the state police, make wanted posters, and then Lulu goes out looking for her.
She finds her pretty quickly. Unfortunately, Snow White is an 8 foot deep hole in the ground. The walls are covered in ice and she can't get out. Lulu calls for help, and the Pony Pals come and help Lulu get Snow White out. Lulu now feels worse than ever, and thinks Snow White's strangles might be worse, so she leaves her at the Crandalls' house and writes them a letter, bequeathing her pony to them.
To get her mind off the ordeal, Lulu goes to dinner with her grandma, but the Pony Pals come in and convince her to take Snow White back because it turns out Snow White broke the lock in the paddock, so it wasn't her fault after all. Joy and tidings.

More notes:
Snow White looks very nice on the cover. She looks a lot younger and non-ponyish.

Lulu really wants to see this movie. I tried to imagine what movie it could be, but couldn't think of anything and just pretended it was "Hairspray" the whole time.

Why are Lulu and Anna suddenly okay with Pam's job? Well, the last one took place in summer and this one takes place in winter. AND THEY'RE STILL IN 5TH GRADE.

Pam is still way pretty. Anna looks more masculine than before.

Grandmother Sanders thinks looking proper is more important than outdoor sports. Well, duh. I'd rather look good than be athletic. Although those two sometimes go hand in hand. Let's say outdoorsy instead.

"Maybe we can't find Snow White because she's white and so is the snow." Yeah, a 2000 pound animal is that hard to miss.

Anna shrunk AGAIN!

They have a missing pony, so they call the state police. Right. I think the state police has more trying matters than a missing pony.

"Well, we have a dead dog and three dead deer, but no pony. We'll call if you anything comes up." Thanks, Officer.

Lulu: Maybe someone found her and wants to keep her.
Anna: That would be better than being lost or hurt.
Nice, Anna.

Another awful picture of a crying pony. And Lulu won't stop moaning about everything. "Ooooh, it's my fault." I bet she's just saying that so the others will contradict her and she'll feel better. Like the people who continually say, "I'm so fat!" Actually, I'm guilty of that. Sometimes.

Anna says they put up posters when her sister's cat was lost. But in book #17, Mrs. Harley is allergic to cats.

Lulu mistakes coyote tracks for horse tracks.

Ew, they describe Snow White's hair as coarse and oily. Like a teenager's.

Lulu is fine if she dies of dehydration as long as her pony is okay. Hm. Nice.

Lulu mistakes a bush covered in snow for a dead pony. COME ON.

Lulu falls into a hole. I take back my vote for her.

Lulu needs to stop being such a pessimist. "Oh, we're gonna die!" Oh, how I wish you would.

It seems Mrs. Crandall and the twins are always at the mall.

It's a cellphone, Lulu. Duh.

Lulu: Grab her! Before she falls back in!
Pam: I can't. She doesn't have a halter.
There are other ways to grab horses.

Lulu = so emo.

And she runs out of the room crying. Aaaargh.

Aaaargh, Lulu is antisocial. And she has a dead mom flashback. Double aaargh.

It's 9:00 A.M. Anna has been up for 4 hours. Holy crap, what is your problem? ANNA'S BEEN IN THE CRACK CORN!

What kind of outfit is this? "Grandmother smiled. 'Lucinda, dear,' she said, 'wear that lovely velvet skirt and the sweater with the lace collar that I bought you. You look so lovely in that outfit.'" Sounds like a concert violinist's outfit mixed with a nun's habit.

Who does that? When you don't want someone to leave, you don't grab their skirt!

Surprisingly (not), it rips.

What's up with the good illustrations? Is Anna actually improving?

Aaargh. Lulu is an idiot pants. "The lock broke." "YOU'RE MAKING THAT UP. *emos*"

This is Lulu's idea: 3 heads are better than 1. Right. That's a great idea. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

People ride in skirts all the time. Sidesaddle.

I REALLY hated that one, even more so than #8, which I will start on right now. Aaargh, it's about death and Anna being a lamepants. You will not enjoy it.

This was my hell, without or without you, or Pony Pals #6: Too Many Ponies

First thing: HOW CAN YOU HAVE TOO MANY PONIES??? That's like saying too many Sugar Babies, or too much chocolate, or too many cows, or too many hot eligible bachelors. It's just not possible.
Aaargh, this one made me angry on Pam's behalf. Just...read on. Seriously, Pam would be a much nicer and independent person if she weren't friends with Lulu and Anna. She and Rema should hang out.


Plot: Pam wants to buy a new saddle for Lightning, so she gets a job training two new ponies for her mother. Splash is a feisty lil toaster, but Goldie is lazy and shy. However, training the ponies takes up most of Pam's free time, which angers Lulu and Anna.
One day, after a disastrous trail ride with Goldie, the Pony Pals revolt against Pam and tell her to bring back Lightning, because she's ignoring Lightning and making trail riding not fun. Hello, you could go WITHOUT Pam. And they also complain that now they can't do what THEY want to do. Suck it up. Friendship requires sacrifice. It's so obvious that the others are just JEALOUS, and Pam tells them that. But they deny it and start throwing rocks at her, so she goes home.
But when she goes to tack up Lightning and take her riding, Lightning is not herself. She's acting mean and ornery (what else is new?). Pam is convinced that Lightning is angry at her for ignoring her, so she breaks down crying and begs for forgiveness. No luck. The Pony Pals come and try to get Lightning to calm down. Lightning tries to kick them.
Suddenly, Fat Cat (the Crandall's new cat) comes in and, LO AND BEHOLD! She had her kittens in Lightning's stall! Lightning was just PROTECTING THEM. She's not angry at all! So all is well, and Pam asks the Pony Pals to help her with her job. They agree (not because they're good friends; they just want to get paid), but then Pam's mom fires her. Sort of. But Pam no longer has a job. But she's okay with that! Yay! Pony Pals powers activate! In the form of...a loser.

More notes:
Pam is really pretty in this book.

Since when does Mr. Olson sell saddles? Doesn't he specialize in horse/ponies?

Lulu: Daisy's a true palomino color.
Nooooo...really?

If I were Pam, I'd rather work than hang with the Pony Pals. They were going to look for old houses. How fun.

All horses snort. All ponies snort. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR STUPID PONY!!!

I kind of feel for Lightning. If I'd been about to go out with my friends, and Nathan suddenly decided for both of us that we shouldn't go (that's the closest thing I can think of to a rider/pony relationship. Also: if William didn't want to, so that meant I couldn't. :P), I would KILL HIM.

Woolie reminds me of Happy from "7th Heaven". Aaaargh.

I don't think many kindergardners use the word "artist".

Heh. Pam's mom called her dumb.

Splash is way cute on the cover, but he looks more paint than Appaloosa. In the book, he looks way palomino/donkey. Also, I don't think there's such a thing as an Appaloosa pony....

"But when Pam was doing a posting trot...." You could just say, "But when Pam was posting...."

Jezebel and No Tail? What horrible names for cats.

Ouch. Pam's mom is cruel.

Wow. This is sounding way Star Wars fanfic-y. "I have to. It's my JOB." Replace it with destiny and you wouldn't know the difference.

They think Fat Cat is a boy at first. They're ten. They should know what makes boys and girls different.

Dr. Crandall doesn't call Pam dumb. He's too nice.

"The Pony Pals watched Acorn and Lightning trot toward the big maple tree. Snow White followed at a slower pace. When the faster ponies reached the tree, they turned around and went back to get Snow White.
'They're great friends,' Anna remarked. 'Just like us.'"
That little pony exchange could represent the friendship: Anna and Pam are smart and a little stupid, and Lulu's kind of slow and just tags along behind.

Anna is acting way 5-year-old.

Heh. Pam is so awesome in this book. Until they break her. Just like in #3....

Ugh, Pony Pals = so emotionally manipulative....
"I wish you could come with us tomorrow, Pam."
"I thought being Pony Pals meant we rode together."
Lulu rides by herself all the time. And Anna rode away on her pony without telling the others. Hypocritical much?

I think Pam just said, "Screw you."

"We'll do a dig. Like archaeologists." I would die in this town.

LOL. Picture on page 35: Lulu and Anna are shocked that Splash is trying to race, and Pam looks like she's laughing her head off.

Lulu: This is a bad idea. It's dangerous for us to ride with Splash.
It's probably not good training, but you could just let Splash LEAD.

Pam has a barn piggy bank. At least she's learning about money. And she has a goal in mind.

Picture: Pam is all, "What?" and the others are all *glare of death*.

Anna: Why didn't you tell us you were riding Daisy today?
Lulu: Lightning must hate you.
:O What's wrong with them??? Pam should've carried this on long after the whole "fight" was over. "Anna, you didn't tell me you were wearing that shirt today. Ho."

Lulu: I just hate it when we plan something and then can't do it.
You could've gone there with Anna every day last week. But you're such a dependent loser that you can't think for yourself.
Aaaargh, and Anna's all, "It's like you're not even a Pony Pal anymore!" Why, because she has a job, she's more mature than y'all, and she wants to help her parents? Yeah, I would say she's sort of growing out of the Pony Pals....

"You keep doing things without telling us. Like bringing these other ponies on rides." Part of their whole argument was that Acorn and Snow White missed Lightning. I honestly don't think your ponies care that much. Besides, Acorn and Snow White need some alone time...so that they can make that beautiful Shetland/Welsh baby I keep imagining.

Pam: I have a JOB. I can't play all the time like you.
Lulu: Pam, you're working too hard. You never just have fun anymore.
Uh, yeah, she has fun training ponies. WITHOUT YOU GUYS.
Pam: You guys are just jealous that I have a job and you don't.
Lulu: That's ridiculous. I am not jealous.
Anna: Me either. (Who asked you?) Who'd want to turn into a grump like you?
A grump with money? I'd willing get a job.
Pam: I'm not a grump. You guys are grumps. You're the ones who are complaining all the time. You're the ones who are being selfish and mean!
OOOOOOOOOOH! PWNED!!! That was seriously amazing! And all of it was true. Seriously, Lulu and Anna, grow up.

To ease her rage, Lulu starts throwing rocks into the river. Yeah.

"Now you can go play in that stupid old house." See!? I'm not the only one who thinks their games are stupid.

They're right about one thing. Daisy is really slow.

Oh no! Don't reminisce! You'll just miss them and think you're wrong! DON'T DO IT!

It does NOT feel special and wonderful to be a Pony Pal. If you like feeling immature and POOR, it's great.

She blames Lulu and Anna, still. Good girl. Lol, she's going all Sith on me.

Ew, Lightning's "angry face" makes her look like a donkey. And Pam's first thought is, "Oh no, she's jealous!"

If only Anna and Lulu hadn't ruined the Pony Pals.... Says Pam in her head. Ha. Great way to be desperate and angry at the same time.

Lulu and Anna say they're sorry, but don't admit they did anything wrong. I think they only said that so Pam would apologize. Jerks.

Lightning tries to kick Pam. Aim for Anna next time.

Random note: I always thought Lightning was the prettiest pony. But she was so moody all the time.

"Maybe there's a poisonous snake in the stall and she doesn't want us to get bitten." Yeah. Great idea. NOT. Lightning would be dead by now. And snakes can MOVE. And I heard they love little girls.

Anna has a thing for cats....

Oh. Lightning was protecting kittens. Sure. Could happen. It happened in "Black Beauty". I think. Only with puppies.

Fat Cat looks like what the Governator would look like if he were a cat.

Mrs. Crandall acts like everything is Pam's fault. Jeez. Now we know why she has such huge control issues.

Anna and Lulu didn't think Pam actually had to work. It's a job, you morons. I can't believe these idiots.

Now Pam wants to give up her job so she can be with her friends. DON'T DO IT, get some new friends, these ones are NOT worth your time.

WHY is Pam offering them this job? Doesn't she realize that her mom will pay her less now because she's paying Lulu and Anna, too? I know money isn't everything, but really. Saddle...or the Pony Pals? Hmm.... I don't even like tack and it's saddle every time.

Lulu: I don't know how to train a pony!
You don't know anything, Lulu.

Anna's mom is still "famous" for her brownies. And she gives the broken ones to the Pony Pals. How do you break a brownie? Confused.

Lulu can't seem to write in complete sentences. And Anna's drawing is actually good.

They mention Fat Cat has a kitten under her leg. What? Is she sitting on it or something? That's not very good parenting skills. Someone should call PETA.

Aaaagh, feminism in the form of cats. "She's a hard working mother AND a mouse chaser."

Mrs. Crandall basically fires Pam. Ouch.

Pam is totally okay with not buying her saddle. Because she'd rather be a Pony Pal with her old saddle. YAY! Why would buying a new saddle change that? Weird.

Yeah. If you couldn't tell, I REALLY hated that one. It was ridiculous. Maybe because I'm the type of person who thinks I'm always right. Probably. But for reals. That's some crazy manipulation. And it makes me mad. Reading #7. I hate that one, too. Arrivederci.

Super pony!!, or Pony Pals #5: Pony to the Rescue

I think this is the on where I started to Anna. That girl has a mean streak a mile wide. And she's mean to little kids. -_- I'm mean to people MY AGE, but not little kids. Even annoying ones. Awwww, Acorn looks so adorable. I think that will be the next poll question: Which pony is your fave? I'd have to say Acorn, of course. Because Snow White was always sickly and Lightning was just bad tempered and cranky all the time.


Plot: Everybody seems to love Acorn, especially Rosalie Lacey. After riding him at the firehouse fair, she becomes obsessed with him, much to Anna's dismay. Rosalie comes to Anna's house everyday to ride Acorn and take care of him. Finally, Anna has a chance to escape this little monster when the Pony Pals decide to go on a camping trip. Rosalie wants to come, but grudgingly accepts that she can't.
All is going well. CAMPING IS GREAT FUN!! What's wrong with these girls? Seriously. But their happy time is interrupted when Ms. Wiggins comes to tell them that Rosalie has gone missing! So, without adult supervision, the girls go out to look for her. Acorn finds Rosalie! She's fine! Yay!
Oh no. Rosalie's mom doesn't want her riding ponies. EVER. AGAIN. *gasp* Oh, how cruel!
But the Pony Pals think up three great ideas to get Mrs. Lacey to let Rosalie ride ponies again. She caves! YAY! ROSALIE'S BACK! I thought they hated her. What's going on?

More notes:
Anna's dad thinks they need help leading ponies, because a lot of kids have never been on ponies. How hard is it to ride a pony? You sit and someone leads you around in a circle. It's not that hard.

Rosalie is only 6 and she's almost as tall as Anna. Acorn looks semi-realistic in this picture.

Anna's way strict about horse safety in this book. Safety rules that she never obeys herself...

Why would she tell Rosalie where she lives? She's just asking for trouble.

Rosalie shows up at Anna's house EVERY DAY. Omg, this is stalker material. I have two words for Anna: restraining order.

"Two in the saddle isn't safe." Since when? I've seen people ride two to a horse. You could ride bareback.

Anna's so bossy. That's probably why Acorn likes Rosalie better. Bam.

It makes it sound like Anna has a crush on Ms. Wiggins.

Anna is so mean to Rosalie! I would be mad about the "pony surprises" she made, but I wouldn't yell at her for like 20 minutes.

I don't know. I'm saying this from the experience I've had with my 6-year-old cousin. When I do get annoyed, I keep it all inside. And take it out on myself so I don't explode.

What's so funny about pizza?

If my dad suddenly started going out with Ms. Wiggins, I'd be very weirded out. Surprisingly, Lulu doesn't seem to pick up on any romantic vibes.

"It was as if Ms. Wiggins had read their minds!" That's because she's a WITCH.

Pam just has to be soooo organized.

On the menus, they write that the ponies will eat water and grass. Well, DUH. What else are they supposed to eat?

Mrs. Lacey basically told the Pony Pals she's poor, so don't encourage Rosalie about ponies???

Oh, that Tommy Rand! Apparently Mike Lacey is just as mean. But Mike is best pals with the Pony Pals in #31.

Anna...always thinking about food.

"The bucket is so your ponies can have stream water in the corral tonight. The bottled water is for you." Well, DUH.

"Acorn is the best on rocky terrain. He gives our ponies confidence." Laaaame. And aren't Welsh ponies and Connemaras just as surefooted as Shetlands, if not more so? Whatever.

Talk about anthropomorphic qualities.

She's wearing a yellow shirt and red shorts. Where do they find these shorts? I want some. Sounds slightly ugly. At least she'll be easy to find.

Acorn finds an important clue. Anna thinks he has colic. Nice, Anna.

Rosalie looks 4 instead of 6. What happened? Did that traumatic experience make her younger? Don't these things tend to make you look OLDER?

Hm, she's moving, she's talking, she's breathing. I don't think she has shock or serious injuries.

They're not bugging Rosalie about safety now. Hypocrites.

This is so awful!!! "It's your fault that Rosalie got lost! You encouraged her to follow you. Why don't you play with kids your own age? You and your horses. You just leave my child alone." THIS IS MRS. LACEY TALKING!!!! And Ms. Wiggins says, "Oh, she's just stressed out." Yeah, she's also a mean whore.

I guess if you're poor you call your Mom "Ma".

"For dessert they made sandwhiches of toasted marshmallows and chocolate bars between graham crackers." Why can't you just call them S'MORES???

Okay, the Pony Pals just saved Rosalie's butt and she thanks ONLY ACORN. Stupid.

Another awful drawing, compliments of Anna Harley....

"Mrs. Lacey finished dumping potatoes...." That is officially the best sentence ever.

Bam. Rosalie tells off her brother. Yeah, girl.

Mike: Pony Pals! It's all so stupid!!!
You and me, Mike.

Rosalie: I like ponies better than boys.
Anna: Personally, I like girls better.
Pony Pals: ....
Anna: I mean, I like ponies, too.

This is the second book that ends with the sentence, "____ gave her pony a big hug and a kiss."

I'll try to finish 6 today. Party on. Don't get lost in the woods.