Anna Harley opened her eyes at 5:00 AM, just like she did every morning. Pam Crandal snorted beside her.
"Wake up, Pam." Anna practically shouted in her ear. Pam groaned into her pillow. The two had grown out of barn sleepovers long ago and now preferred to sleep in Anna's bed. Pam was still having a hard time getting up.
"Pam!!" Anna squealed in an irritating fashion. Pam resolutely pulled the covers over her ears, so Anna gave up and went outside to feed the ponies.
Both Starfire and Snow White were already awake. Anna went to grab some hay, but paused near Acorn's empty stall. She sighed. After Lulu left, the inhabitants of Wiggins followed suit. Fat Cat "ran away", or so Dr. Crandal said, as to soften the blow for Jack and Jill. Shadow was hit by a car. Mr. and Mrs. Quinn were taken to the nursing home, and, without them knowing it, their pony Ginger was sold to the slaughterhouse. Even her beloved pony Acorn didn't stand a chance. Though both Rosalie and Anna had begged them not to, Mr. and Mrs. Harley sold Acorn to Mr. Olson during the recession. "You're both getting too big for him," they reasoned. Even so, Anna rarely spoke to her parents. She shook her head, refusing to think about it.
When she went back inside, Pam was in the kitchen, cooking breakfast. "Blueberry pancakes," she grunted, shuffling around the kitchen like an old woman. Anna stifled a groan. Back in the golden days, when she, Pam, and Lulu had been called "The Pony Pals", she'd eaten brownies, spaghetti, and blueberry pancakes by the truckload. But puberty hadn't been especially nice to her and there was a bit of extra pudge around her middle from all the scrumptious carbs.
"Uh...I think I'll pass...." She made herself a protein shake and forced herself to drink it. Mmmm, so healthy. She wouldn't have to eat again until dinnertime!
"Are you excited for school?" Pam asked pleasantly, suddenly cheerful. It was hard to get even-keeled Pam excited about anything, but homework and extra credit gave her a thrill like nothing else. She was especially excited because they'd be starting their senior year in 3 days time.
Anna, on the other hand, still hated school. It wasn't just the condescending teachers or the dyslexia, but hormones and teenage girls made school almost impossible to deal with. Pam just didn't understand; she'd never had acne, and her periods lasted a grand total of 2 days. Sometimes Anna wondered how heavy her friend's flow was. But only sometimes.
"Anna!" Pam hissed all of a sudden. Anna snapped out of her perverted reverie.
"What?"
"Someone's in the paddock!" Anna ran to the window, and saw a strange girl with Snow White. Strange... She couldn't recall letting the either animal out of their stall....
"She's trying to steal the ponies!" It was a fear she'd often had when she was a kid. But the ponies didn't seem to be frightened. Snow White seemed downright cheerful. And the girl, though strange, was starting to look a little familiar...
"PAM!!!" Anna screamed.
"What?"
"You're not going to believe this."
"What?"
"It's...it's...it's..."
"ENOUGH WITH THE SUSPENSE! TELL ME WHO IT IS OR I'LL DESTROY YOU!" Complete silence followed Pam's loud outburst. Anna wondered if the time of the month she'd been pondering just moments ago had come around again. She then remembered the important thing she had to tell Pam.
"That's Lulu outside with the ponies! She's back!"
Showing posts with label ponies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ponies. Show all posts
Monday, June 8, 2009
6 years later....
The Pony Pals have grown too big for ponies...
They are now known as THE HORSE COMPANIONS!
Horse Companions #1: Lulu's Return
After 6 years apart, the Pony Pals (ahem, Horse Companions) are finally reunited for their senior year of high school when Lulu comes back to Wiggins. But things are different between them now. Lulu doesn't like to ride anymore! Anna's happy with Charlie, but now that Lulu's back in town, she can't seem to choose between them! Pam was happy when Lulu left, but now that she's back, in seems everyone is back under her spell. Will the three ever be friends again?
Coming soon, summer 2009!
They are now known as THE HORSE COMPANIONS!
Horse Companions #1: Lulu's Return
After 6 years apart, the Pony Pals (ahem, Horse Companions) are finally reunited for their senior year of high school when Lulu comes back to Wiggins. But things are different between them now. Lulu doesn't like to ride anymore! Anna's happy with Charlie, but now that Lulu's back in town, she can't seem to choose between them! Pam was happy when Lulu left, but now that she's back, in seems everyone is back under her spell. Will the three ever be friends again?
Coming soon, summer 2009!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Months of toil now at an end, or Pony Pals Super Special #6: The Last Pony Ride
This is it, guys. The very last Pony Pals book.
Plot: Major changes are going on in Wiggins. Lulu's father wants to her to move to Africa with him! Pam and Anna are getting too big for their ponies!!! What is going on???
First, let's deal with Pam: Pam finds it's getting a tad uncomfortable to ride Lightning. At the same time, Eleanor Whats-her-face has given Pam her horse Starfire after a tragic riding accident, forcing him (not her; she got a new horse) to retire early. Pam is torn between the pony she loves and the horse she longs to care for.
Her mom is totally NOT helping, by hinting that Lightning is a boring old nag that should be sold for glue.
In the end, Pam chooses to keep Starfire and let her mom use Lightning as a school pony, but still take care of her old pony every day.
Good choice.
Now Lulu: Her dad suddenly wants her to move to Africa with him, because he doesn't want to miss her childhood.
Hello???
Then why did you dump her in Wiggins with her grandmother in the FIRST PLACE???
Lulu begs her father to let her stay in Wiggins, with her FRIENDS, and GRANDMA, and PONY, but her dad insists she move to a country (Botwswana) with civil wars so she can make new friends. Because introverts are soooooo good at that.
Lulu has been defeated by her SUCKY FATHER!!! She decides to give Snow White to Anna, because Snow White is the perfect size for her 4'10" friend.
Anna: Basically what was just said about Lulu. She doesn't want her friends to move and change and go through puberty and that, and she doesn't want to give up Acorn. So she asks her parents if she can have TWO ponies (Snow White and Acorn), and Mike Lacey agrees to help her with barn chores so she doesn't get behind in school.
So Anna has two ponies, Lulu has no pony, and Pam has a horse AND a pony.
Not fair.
So Lulu moves to Africa, taking with her a scrapbook of all the Pony Pal's adventures. AWwww.
More notes:
Can I just say I REALLY liked this book? It was sweet.
Except for all the really bad parents.
Isn't Botswana one of the wartorn countries??
Ooh, Lulu got to ride an elephant!! How exotic!
Whatever. I could still ride ponies like Acorn in like 6th grade at 5'4". Anna is 6 inches shorter than that. She needs to suck it up. Just lengthen your stirrups, honey.
Eleanor is such a fake. "Oooh, I miss Starfire! He'll never be able to compete again!"
So she dumps him on a ten-year-old and buys a NEW horse to compete with.
Pam is 5'4", too, and she's too big for Lightning???? Lightning is 14 hands. She should be the perfect height!!
Pam's mom is so annoying. I really, REALLY despise her.
Ugh.
Eleanor: I thought Starfire and I wouldbe a team forever. Now I'm training another horse. I'll walk him around a little. Then I have to go back and ride my new horse. You'll always be my star! *sob*
-_-
Mr. Crandal shaved!!!!!!! He looks Samoan.
Starfire is so named because he has a white STAR marking on his forehead, but that marking is not evident in the illustration.
Ooh, Dr. Crandal's in on it, too.
If your daughter was happy with a pony, why wouldn't you let her be??
And if Pam isn't too big to ride DAISY and SPLASH and train numerous other ponies, she really shouldn't be too big for Lightning!
Mike: Is this something for Lulu?
Anna: Yeah. It's going to say 'Welcome home.' Pam was supposed to write it, but she's not here yet. And Lulu will be here any minute.
Mike: I'll write it for you. I print good.
Yeah, but you don't speak so well.
The writing in this book is definitely more improved than previous books, but Ms. Betancourt still has a tendency to repeat phrases.
Okay, Mr. Sanders wants Lulu to have some permanence in her life, so he's ripping her out of her comfortable life in Wiggins to live with him in Botswana...FOR TWO YEARS. THEN where are they going to move, I wonder?
Oh, it's going to be so great, Lulu! People speak English there, and you can go to school, and your dad bought an apartment for the two of you!
Oh, and you can't bring Snow White.
Pam: Did you tell your dad you didn't want to move to Africa?
Lulu: It seemed like an okay idea when I was there.
Anna: What does your grandmother always want us to do?
Lulu: Be girlie girls.
I'm glad she has such high expectations.
They let Grandma Sandy give them makeovers, then beg her to tell her irresponsible son to let his daughter stay where she pleases.
Grandma: Makeovers! What a lovely idea. I have a great idea for Anna's hair. A shade of pink nail polish would be perfect for girls your age. And there's a new aqua one with sparkles.
Lulu: I bet Pam would like that one.
Hehehe.
SHE STRAIGHTENS ANNA'S HAIR!!
I think Pam is over Lightning. She forgets what gender her pony is.
This sounds like something from a horror movie.
"Lulu's grandmother turned her attention to Lulu. 'Now I am going to give you curls,' she announced cheerfully."
Whoa, pink and silver beads totally don't go with sparkly aqua nail polish.
Moral of this story: Tomboys are better.
Charlie's back in town!! What, he's 12??? I thought he was 14. He's best friends with Mike and Tommy, isn't he??? WHY WOULD THEY HANG OUT WITH A 12-YEAR-OLD??
Uh oh. They go out to dinner at the diner, looking like girls...and see Tommy, Charlie, and Mike.
Recipe for disaster.
Tommy: Look at the Pony Pests. They're trying to be girls.
Jerk. He's probably a homophobe.
Which is weird, cuz he's gay with Mike.
Is it possible to be a gay homophobe?
I guess that's called hypocrisy.
Meow, Lulu looks like Evangeline Lilly.
Grandma: Riding helmets will crush your new hairdos.
Forsake your riding safety, Lulu! I don't care if you die in a riding accident as long as your corpse looks good!
Then she says: Don't worry about it, dear. It's you I love. Not what your hair looks like.
Which is, like, the opposite of what you've been telling her all these years.
Surprise! Starfire is Pam's now.
And her mom still sucks.
Mrs. Crandal totally drops that bomb on her, and then when Pam reacts, is all, "Sorry, I'm busy, we'll discuss this later."
Haaaate.
Anna's in denial. She doesn't realize she's too huge for Acorn (though in the picture all the girls are the same size and look aptly suited to their ponies).
WHOA!!!
Never tell Anna anything, or she might react like this:
"You're going to have a horse! You're giving up Lightning! If you have Starfire, you won't ride her at all. You're disloyal and you're bad Pony Pals. Both of you!!"
*runs away crying*
The Pony Pals decide to let her cool off on her own for a while.
THEY'RE LEARNING! HALLELUJAH!
Oh. Anna admits she's a little psycho. And sad. And resistant to change.
Awwww.
I HATE LULU'S DAD!!!
He's SO SELFISH! If he wants to be with Lulu so badly, why isn't he putting her best interests into the picture??
It's been about his career all this time, and it's STILL about his career.
He claims he doesn't want to miss anymore of her childhood, that she should remain in one place, and that they belong together.
If that's so, MOVE TO WIGGINS TO BE WITH YOUR KID, YOU SELFISH LOSER!!!
He's SUCH a jerk.
And it sucks cuz Lulu probably knows this, but she does love and her dad and wants to live with him.
This is the part of the book that made me really sad. And incensed. But pretty sad, too.
THE MOMENT OF TRUTH:
Tommy: Good riddance. We have too many Pony Pests around here. We need pest control.
Mike: Stop it! Stop being mean. It's not funny.
Tommy: Good riddance to you, too. You're a bigger pest than they are.
Wow. I guess it's really over. Now Mike and Anna can hook up!!
Unless...uh oh....
Mike: He makes me so mad sometimes. He's a lousy friend.
Charlie: *pats him on the back* You can find better guys than him to hang out with. [Read: ME!]
Mike: *smile* I guess.
Awww, so much for Mike + Anna.
That would be the awesomest fanfic ever. An Anna, Mike, and Charlie love triangle.
Lulu thinks up some pretty smart ideas.
Idea #1: She wants to give Snow White to Anna, because Snow White knows Anna and giving her away is easier than selling her.
Idea #2: They can enter the 21st century (yay!) and use e-mail to communicate.
They agree to e-mail every week.
Every WEEK?? Come on. Use IM and talk every DAY.
What's with the idea that hobbies detract from schoolwork? I disagree. There can be a balance, and Anna does have a legitimate learning disability.
Mrs. Harley isn't the nicest mom either.
Anna: Acorn and Snow White shouldn't be seperated. They're best friends. They're stablemates.
Mrs. Harley: Of course they can be separated. Ponies are bought and sold all the time. You can only have one pony. That's more than most kids have. I'm sorry, Anna. You'll have to decide what pony you want.
Harsh!! I can understand the financial burden another pony would bring, but seriously??? Your kid's grades should have NOTHING to do with the decision, lady. And she has to choose? Way mean.
No way!!!
Rosalie wishes she could ride ponies more often.
Anna can't take care of two ponies.
Mike offers to take care of both ponies, in exchange for more riding time for Rosalie.
That's so nice!!!!
Basically, they make Mike do ALL the barn chores.
Whoa, that wasn't in the agreement. Anna should still help out.
Haha, we find out the Pony Pals' middle names.
Mike's middle name is John. Lame.
Charlie's is K. Huh. Like Harry S. Truman.
Pam's is Eleanor (after the famous chick who tossed her injured horse over Pam's way).
Anna's is Marie.
Lulu doesn't have a middle name. That's why she's no longer in the club and has to move to Africa.
"I heard you're moving to AFrica. It's a wonderful oppurtunity for you."
That's Mr. Harley talking. I suppose that's true, but all the same, how inconsiderate.
This girl has to leave most of her family and friends (AND PONY) to a completely different culture where there are wars and dangerous animals and excessive heat.
Not that I have anything against Africa (quite the opposite), but if I was forced to move there, I'd be cutting myself now.
How convenient. Rosalie is the perfect size for Acorn. So, in essence, Acorn is Rosalie's pony now.
Yay, the Harley's agreed!
They say goodbye to almost everyone in Wiggins, and reference quite a few of the past books. This includes:
Ms. McGee (Historical Society Chick); Mike's grandma (after they found her secret letter in the secret spot in #31); Ms. Raskins (the slacker girl in charge of St. Francis Animal Shelter); Eve Greeley and Lucky (the pony they raised from birth); Mr. and Mrs. Quinn (the old people with the old pony); Mimi Klein and Tongo (the bratty girl with her bratty pony); Mr. Olson (creepy old man/Charlie's uncle); and Mr. Remington (the cool, Harry Potter-obsessed librarian).
They throw a going-away party for Lulu, where they serve all her favorite foods: spaghetti and brownies!!!
Aw. Grandma Sandy buys them matching pony necklaces to help them remember the now defunct Pony Pals.
They have a profile in the back of the book on each character and pony.
Lulu is 5 feet, and likes detective work and spaghetti, but not fussing with her hair.
Anna is 4'10" (!!), and likes brownies and drawing, but not school.
Pam is 5'4" (at 10 years old!!!), and likes jumping and being in charge (that's for sure), but not bossy people (ironically enough).
The Happiest Pony Pal Moment:
When Lulu got Snow White and we knew we would be the Pony Pals.
I can think of happier Pony Pal Moments.
Not off the top of my head, but if I tried really hard....
The Saddest Pony Pal Moment:
When we found out that Lulu was moving.
What about when Winston died?
Well, yeah, I guess friend moving FOREVER trumps pony dying FOREVER.
Not even being sarcastic.
Awww. I miss them already.
Seriously, when did I start this blog?? Remember when it was originally JUST Pony Pals?
Well, now there are no more Pony Pals...
...AND I REALLY MISS THEM.
But I do have plenty of Madison Finns to keep you entertained. That should be fun.
Next stop: Madison Finn Super Special #1. Someone's getting married!!!
Plot: Major changes are going on in Wiggins. Lulu's father wants to her to move to Africa with him! Pam and Anna are getting too big for their ponies!!! What is going on???
First, let's deal with Pam: Pam finds it's getting a tad uncomfortable to ride Lightning. At the same time, Eleanor Whats-her-face has given Pam her horse Starfire after a tragic riding accident, forcing him (not her; she got a new horse) to retire early. Pam is torn between the pony she loves and the horse she longs to care for.
Her mom is totally NOT helping, by hinting that Lightning is a boring old nag that should be sold for glue.
In the end, Pam chooses to keep Starfire and let her mom use Lightning as a school pony, but still take care of her old pony every day.
Good choice.
Now Lulu: Her dad suddenly wants her to move to Africa with him, because he doesn't want to miss her childhood.
Hello???
Then why did you dump her in Wiggins with her grandmother in the FIRST PLACE???
Lulu begs her father to let her stay in Wiggins, with her FRIENDS, and GRANDMA, and PONY, but her dad insists she move to a country (Botwswana) with civil wars so she can make new friends. Because introverts are soooooo good at that.
Lulu has been defeated by her SUCKY FATHER!!! She decides to give Snow White to Anna, because Snow White is the perfect size for her 4'10" friend.
Anna: Basically what was just said about Lulu. She doesn't want her friends to move and change and go through puberty and that, and she doesn't want to give up Acorn. So she asks her parents if she can have TWO ponies (Snow White and Acorn), and Mike Lacey agrees to help her with barn chores so she doesn't get behind in school.
So Anna has two ponies, Lulu has no pony, and Pam has a horse AND a pony.
Not fair.
So Lulu moves to Africa, taking with her a scrapbook of all the Pony Pal's adventures. AWwww.
More notes:
Can I just say I REALLY liked this book? It was sweet.
Except for all the really bad parents.
Isn't Botswana one of the wartorn countries??
Ooh, Lulu got to ride an elephant!! How exotic!
Whatever. I could still ride ponies like Acorn in like 6th grade at 5'4". Anna is 6 inches shorter than that. She needs to suck it up. Just lengthen your stirrups, honey.
Eleanor is such a fake. "Oooh, I miss Starfire! He'll never be able to compete again!"
So she dumps him on a ten-year-old and buys a NEW horse to compete with.
Pam is 5'4", too, and she's too big for Lightning???? Lightning is 14 hands. She should be the perfect height!!
Pam's mom is so annoying. I really, REALLY despise her.
Ugh.
Eleanor: I thought Starfire and I wouldbe a team forever. Now I'm training another horse. I'll walk him around a little. Then I have to go back and ride my new horse. You'll always be my star! *sob*
-_-
Mr. Crandal shaved!!!!!!! He looks Samoan.
Starfire is so named because he has a white STAR marking on his forehead, but that marking is not evident in the illustration.
Ooh, Dr. Crandal's in on it, too.
If your daughter was happy with a pony, why wouldn't you let her be??
And if Pam isn't too big to ride DAISY and SPLASH and train numerous other ponies, she really shouldn't be too big for Lightning!
Mike: Is this something for Lulu?
Anna: Yeah. It's going to say 'Welcome home.' Pam was supposed to write it, but she's not here yet. And Lulu will be here any minute.
Mike: I'll write it for you. I print good.
Yeah, but you don't speak so well.
The writing in this book is definitely more improved than previous books, but Ms. Betancourt still has a tendency to repeat phrases.
Okay, Mr. Sanders wants Lulu to have some permanence in her life, so he's ripping her out of her comfortable life in Wiggins to live with him in Botswana...FOR TWO YEARS. THEN where are they going to move, I wonder?
Oh, it's going to be so great, Lulu! People speak English there, and you can go to school, and your dad bought an apartment for the two of you!
Oh, and you can't bring Snow White.
Pam: Did you tell your dad you didn't want to move to Africa?
Lulu: It seemed like an okay idea when I was there.
Anna: What does your grandmother always want us to do?
Lulu: Be girlie girls.
I'm glad she has such high expectations.
They let Grandma Sandy give them makeovers, then beg her to tell her irresponsible son to let his daughter stay where she pleases.
Grandma: Makeovers! What a lovely idea. I have a great idea for Anna's hair. A shade of pink nail polish would be perfect for girls your age. And there's a new aqua one with sparkles.
Lulu: I bet Pam would like that one.
Hehehe.
SHE STRAIGHTENS ANNA'S HAIR!!
I think Pam is over Lightning. She forgets what gender her pony is.
This sounds like something from a horror movie.
"Lulu's grandmother turned her attention to Lulu. 'Now I am going to give you curls,' she announced cheerfully."
Whoa, pink and silver beads totally don't go with sparkly aqua nail polish.
Moral of this story: Tomboys are better.
Charlie's back in town!! What, he's 12??? I thought he was 14. He's best friends with Mike and Tommy, isn't he??? WHY WOULD THEY HANG OUT WITH A 12-YEAR-OLD??
Uh oh. They go out to dinner at the diner, looking like girls...and see Tommy, Charlie, and Mike.
Recipe for disaster.
Tommy: Look at the Pony Pests. They're trying to be girls.
Jerk. He's probably a homophobe.
Which is weird, cuz he's gay with Mike.
Is it possible to be a gay homophobe?
I guess that's called hypocrisy.
Meow, Lulu looks like Evangeline Lilly.
Grandma: Riding helmets will crush your new hairdos.
Forsake your riding safety, Lulu! I don't care if you die in a riding accident as long as your corpse looks good!
Then she says: Don't worry about it, dear. It's you I love. Not what your hair looks like.
Which is, like, the opposite of what you've been telling her all these years.
Surprise! Starfire is Pam's now.
And her mom still sucks.
Mrs. Crandal totally drops that bomb on her, and then when Pam reacts, is all, "Sorry, I'm busy, we'll discuss this later."
Haaaate.
Anna's in denial. She doesn't realize she's too huge for Acorn (though in the picture all the girls are the same size and look aptly suited to their ponies).
WHOA!!!
Never tell Anna anything, or she might react like this:
"You're going to have a horse! You're giving up Lightning! If you have Starfire, you won't ride her at all. You're disloyal and you're bad Pony Pals. Both of you!!"
*runs away crying*
The Pony Pals decide to let her cool off on her own for a while.
THEY'RE LEARNING! HALLELUJAH!
Oh. Anna admits she's a little psycho. And sad. And resistant to change.
Awwww.
I HATE LULU'S DAD!!!
He's SO SELFISH! If he wants to be with Lulu so badly, why isn't he putting her best interests into the picture??
It's been about his career all this time, and it's STILL about his career.
He claims he doesn't want to miss anymore of her childhood, that she should remain in one place, and that they belong together.
If that's so, MOVE TO WIGGINS TO BE WITH YOUR KID, YOU SELFISH LOSER!!!
He's SUCH a jerk.
And it sucks cuz Lulu probably knows this, but she does love and her dad and wants to live with him.
This is the part of the book that made me really sad. And incensed. But pretty sad, too.
THE MOMENT OF TRUTH:
Tommy: Good riddance. We have too many Pony Pests around here. We need pest control.
Mike: Stop it! Stop being mean. It's not funny.
Tommy: Good riddance to you, too. You're a bigger pest than they are.
Wow. I guess it's really over. Now Mike and Anna can hook up!!
Unless...uh oh....
Mike: He makes me so mad sometimes. He's a lousy friend.
Charlie: *pats him on the back* You can find better guys than him to hang out with. [Read: ME!]
Mike: *smile* I guess.
Awww, so much for Mike + Anna.
That would be the awesomest fanfic ever. An Anna, Mike, and Charlie love triangle.
Lulu thinks up some pretty smart ideas.
Idea #1: She wants to give Snow White to Anna, because Snow White knows Anna and giving her away is easier than selling her.
Idea #2: They can enter the 21st century (yay!) and use e-mail to communicate.
They agree to e-mail every week.
Every WEEK?? Come on. Use IM and talk every DAY.
What's with the idea that hobbies detract from schoolwork? I disagree. There can be a balance, and Anna does have a legitimate learning disability.
Mrs. Harley isn't the nicest mom either.
Anna: Acorn and Snow White shouldn't be seperated. They're best friends. They're stablemates.
Mrs. Harley: Of course they can be separated. Ponies are bought and sold all the time. You can only have one pony. That's more than most kids have. I'm sorry, Anna. You'll have to decide what pony you want.
Harsh!! I can understand the financial burden another pony would bring, but seriously??? Your kid's grades should have NOTHING to do with the decision, lady. And she has to choose? Way mean.
No way!!!
Rosalie wishes she could ride ponies more often.
Anna can't take care of two ponies.
Mike offers to take care of both ponies, in exchange for more riding time for Rosalie.
That's so nice!!!!
Basically, they make Mike do ALL the barn chores.
Whoa, that wasn't in the agreement. Anna should still help out.
Haha, we find out the Pony Pals' middle names.
Mike's middle name is John. Lame.
Charlie's is K. Huh. Like Harry S. Truman.
Pam's is Eleanor (after the famous chick who tossed her injured horse over Pam's way).
Anna's is Marie.
Lulu doesn't have a middle name. That's why she's no longer in the club and has to move to Africa.
"I heard you're moving to AFrica. It's a wonderful oppurtunity for you."
That's Mr. Harley talking. I suppose that's true, but all the same, how inconsiderate.
This girl has to leave most of her family and friends (AND PONY) to a completely different culture where there are wars and dangerous animals and excessive heat.
Not that I have anything against Africa (quite the opposite), but if I was forced to move there, I'd be cutting myself now.
How convenient. Rosalie is the perfect size for Acorn. So, in essence, Acorn is Rosalie's pony now.
Yay, the Harley's agreed!
They say goodbye to almost everyone in Wiggins, and reference quite a few of the past books. This includes:
Ms. McGee (Historical Society Chick); Mike's grandma (after they found her secret letter in the secret spot in #31); Ms. Raskins (the slacker girl in charge of St. Francis Animal Shelter); Eve Greeley and Lucky (the pony they raised from birth); Mr. and Mrs. Quinn (the old people with the old pony); Mimi Klein and Tongo (the bratty girl with her bratty pony); Mr. Olson (creepy old man/Charlie's uncle); and Mr. Remington (the cool, Harry Potter-obsessed librarian).
They throw a going-away party for Lulu, where they serve all her favorite foods: spaghetti and brownies!!!
Aw. Grandma Sandy buys them matching pony necklaces to help them remember the now defunct Pony Pals.
They have a profile in the back of the book on each character and pony.
Lulu is 5 feet, and likes detective work and spaghetti, but not fussing with her hair.
Anna is 4'10" (!!), and likes brownies and drawing, but not school.
Pam is 5'4" (at 10 years old!!!), and likes jumping and being in charge (that's for sure), but not bossy people (ironically enough).
The Happiest Pony Pal Moment:
When Lulu got Snow White and we knew we would be the Pony Pals.
I can think of happier Pony Pal Moments.
Not off the top of my head, but if I tried really hard....
The Saddest Pony Pal Moment:
When we found out that Lulu was moving.
What about when Winston died?
Well, yeah, I guess friend moving FOREVER trumps pony dying FOREVER.
Not even being sarcastic.
Awww. I miss them already.
Seriously, when did I start this blog?? Remember when it was originally JUST Pony Pals?
Well, now there are no more Pony Pals...
...AND I REALLY MISS THEM.
But I do have plenty of Madison Finns to keep you entertained. That should be fun.
Next stop: Madison Finn Super Special #1. Someone's getting married!!!
Sunday, May 11, 2008
This event will be followed by the Teddy Bear Picnic, or Pony Pals #38: Ponies on Parade
After this, only one more Pony Pal to go!!! Aaaagh!!
I like how it took Jeanne Betancourt 38 books to improve her writing. This book isn't spectacular and shouldn't win any awards, but it's probably one of the best Pony Pals books. Except for the fact that Acorn looks like a Wookiee on the cover.
Plot: The Pony Pals are SUPER excited for the Fall Festival, where there will be fun games, fatty foods, and crisp autumn leaves to enjoy!!!
This year, the town is doing something special; they're picking 10 people to each paint a lifesize statue of a pony.
Okay, what is this town's obsession with ponies?
Anna really wants to enter, but she doesn't have any ideas...and her homework is keeping her busy.
The Pony Pals help her brainstorm and finish her essay.
Anna paints her lifesize pony statue to look just like Acorn, and writes a bunch of Shetland facts on the sides.
But Tommy Rand, after having several angry altercations with the Pony Pals, decides to get revenge and paints graffiti all over Anna's pony!!!
Plus, he tries to pin it on Mike by writing "ML was here".
Nice try, Tommy.
Anna manages to fix the pony, and Mike apologize's for his boyfriend's behavior. Tommy, however, isn't the least bit sorry.
The Pony Pals decide to teach him a lesson. The pony statues are to be auctioned off at the Fall Festival, so the Pony Pals convince Mrs. Rand (Tommy's mother) that Tommy misses Acorn and he needs the statue to remind him of his old pony.
So Mrs. Rand buys the statue at the auction!!!!
Then she gets up on stage and tells everyone how much her son loves ponies!!!
Try the best Pony Pals ending ever!!!
More notes:
Anyone can write a research paper in two days. I've done it. My friends do it all the time. College students often have less time than that. Anna needs to suck it up.
The best way to get a paper done is to procrastinate.
Pam and Lulu are such losers.
Lulu: I finished my paper about Mount Morris. It's five pages long. Now all I have to do is make sure there aren't any mistakes.
[Writing about Mount Morris was a pretty big mistake.]
Pam: I almost finished mine, too. I learned so much about ballpoint pens. They used to leak like crazy.
[Golly, Lulu! Ballpoint pens are so fascinating!! They used to leak!! If you got to write a research paper on ANYTHING in the world, wouldn't you write about something controversial or interesting??]
I want to know where they get these lifesize ponies.
Out of all the crappy illustrators for the Pony Pals books, Richard Jones is my favorite. These illustrations are pretty stellar.
Tommy and Mike start pelting them with acorns. Ouch.
Ms. Wiggins wants to paint an angel pony, in honor of Winston. XP
WHOAAA!!! Ms. Wiggins has always been tall and thin with dark hair. Now she's tall and thin with BLONDE hair!!!
Some of Anna's ideas include a devil pony and a striped pony. Heheh. I like the devil pony, but it's too Satanic for Anna.
Anna's mom makes her stay home to write her paper...so Anna goes off to ride with the Pony Pals. I foresee a "Lion King" discipline scene. "You deliberately disobeyed me!"
Now we know the reason the boys hate the Pony Pals so much.
Mike: Hey, man. Why'd we have to keep following them?
Tommy: Because we want to mess up their stupid little Pony Pest day. We'll go in the cave and make ghost noises. That'll freak them out. Then it can be our hideout. Get it?
Got it. You're stupid.
5 seconds later, Tommy steps in horse crap.
Mike and Tommy are lost in the woods, so the Pony Pals draw them a map.
Unfortunately, Tommy's bike has a flat tire.
So he takes MIKE'S bike and leaves Mike with HIS bike!
Jerk.
This book was written in 2003, so the Pony Pals are all high-tech, using e-mail.
Lame lame lame. Anna can't decide on a research topic, so she picks Shetland ponies.
She prints out 36 pages on Shetland ponies!!! I'll bet she ran out of ink.
Ha. The Pony Pals are so mean to Tommy.
I hate that misbehaving ponies are never punished. I'm not saying they need to be whipped to death, but hello? Acorn opens the gate with his mouth and steals all their cookies! That's not cute, he could escape and die!!!
Yeah! Mike likes the devil pony, too!!
NOYCE! Mr. Remington the librarian is painting a pony that looks just like Harry Potter!!
Wait, so he has Daniel Radcliffe hair and everything?
Noyce.
Anna got a B-plus and the teacher wrote "Good job" on the paper. No. If you're going to write "Good job", give her at least an A!!!
Maybe it was for grammar mistakes.
Mike is making spaghetti for dinner.
What is wrong with these carb-obsessed freaks!!??
Anna has only 2 days to paint the pony, so her friends decide to take shorter trail rides.
You could always NOT trail ride, giving your more time to paint.
Mike told Tommy about the Pony contest, when he told Anna he WOULDN'T tell!!!
Betrayed!!!
I can't believe he ruined her pony. What a jerk.
Anna honestly thinks Mike did it.
Mike would never do a thing like that, Anna. He loves you.
Tommy practically confesses.
Awwww. Mike offers to help repaint the pony.
Some of the other pony ideas weren't so stellar:
Tuxedo Pony, Patriotic Pony, Glitter Pony, Little Red Riding Pony, Unicorn Pony, Baseball Pony, and Sky Pony are some of them.
AAAAH, THE PONY PALS ARE SO EVIL...BUT FUNNY!
Mrs. Rand: Anna Harley, this is perfect copy of Acorn. Absolutely perfect. Acorn was such a good pony. I miss him.
Lulu: I think Tommy misses Acorn, too.
Pam: He talks about Acorn sometimes.
Mrs. Rand: I'm so glad you told me that. Tommy's growing up so fast. Sometimes I don't recognize my sweet little boy.
Anna: Maybe you should buy My Pony at the auction. Then Tommy can always remember his time with Acorn.
Tee hee.
Mr. Olson almost buys the Acorn Pony!!! Go away, creepy pedophile!! Go back to your cowboy nephew!!
Mrs. Rand wins.
OH NO!
Mrs. Rand: Acorn was my son's pony. He's missed him. Now he'll always have Acorn.
Aaah, good times, good times.
Only one more Pony Pals book to go!!
And Lulu's moving to Africa!! Oh no!!!
I like how it took Jeanne Betancourt 38 books to improve her writing. This book isn't spectacular and shouldn't win any awards, but it's probably one of the best Pony Pals books. Except for the fact that Acorn looks like a Wookiee on the cover.
Plot: The Pony Pals are SUPER excited for the Fall Festival, where there will be fun games, fatty foods, and crisp autumn leaves to enjoy!!!
This year, the town is doing something special; they're picking 10 people to each paint a lifesize statue of a pony.
Okay, what is this town's obsession with ponies?
Anna really wants to enter, but she doesn't have any ideas...and her homework is keeping her busy.
The Pony Pals help her brainstorm and finish her essay.
Anna paints her lifesize pony statue to look just like Acorn, and writes a bunch of Shetland facts on the sides.
But Tommy Rand, after having several angry altercations with the Pony Pals, decides to get revenge and paints graffiti all over Anna's pony!!!
Plus, he tries to pin it on Mike by writing "ML was here".
Nice try, Tommy.
Anna manages to fix the pony, and Mike apologize's for his boyfriend's behavior. Tommy, however, isn't the least bit sorry.
The Pony Pals decide to teach him a lesson. The pony statues are to be auctioned off at the Fall Festival, so the Pony Pals convince Mrs. Rand (Tommy's mother) that Tommy misses Acorn and he needs the statue to remind him of his old pony.
So Mrs. Rand buys the statue at the auction!!!!
Then she gets up on stage and tells everyone how much her son loves ponies!!!
Try the best Pony Pals ending ever!!!
More notes:
Anyone can write a research paper in two days. I've done it. My friends do it all the time. College students often have less time than that. Anna needs to suck it up.
The best way to get a paper done is to procrastinate.
Pam and Lulu are such losers.
Lulu: I finished my paper about Mount Morris. It's five pages long. Now all I have to do is make sure there aren't any mistakes.
[Writing about Mount Morris was a pretty big mistake.]
Pam: I almost finished mine, too. I learned so much about ballpoint pens. They used to leak like crazy.
[Golly, Lulu! Ballpoint pens are so fascinating!! They used to leak!! If you got to write a research paper on ANYTHING in the world, wouldn't you write about something controversial or interesting??]
I want to know where they get these lifesize ponies.
Out of all the crappy illustrators for the Pony Pals books, Richard Jones is my favorite. These illustrations are pretty stellar.
Tommy and Mike start pelting them with acorns. Ouch.
Ms. Wiggins wants to paint an angel pony, in honor of Winston. XP
WHOAAA!!! Ms. Wiggins has always been tall and thin with dark hair. Now she's tall and thin with BLONDE hair!!!
Some of Anna's ideas include a devil pony and a striped pony. Heheh. I like the devil pony, but it's too Satanic for Anna.
Anna's mom makes her stay home to write her paper...so Anna goes off to ride with the Pony Pals. I foresee a "Lion King" discipline scene. "You deliberately disobeyed me!"
Now we know the reason the boys hate the Pony Pals so much.
Mike: Hey, man. Why'd we have to keep following them?
Tommy: Because we want to mess up their stupid little Pony Pest day. We'll go in the cave and make ghost noises. That'll freak them out. Then it can be our hideout. Get it?
Got it. You're stupid.
5 seconds later, Tommy steps in horse crap.
Mike and Tommy are lost in the woods, so the Pony Pals draw them a map.
Unfortunately, Tommy's bike has a flat tire.
So he takes MIKE'S bike and leaves Mike with HIS bike!
Jerk.
This book was written in 2003, so the Pony Pals are all high-tech, using e-mail.
Lame lame lame. Anna can't decide on a research topic, so she picks Shetland ponies.
She prints out 36 pages on Shetland ponies!!! I'll bet she ran out of ink.
Ha. The Pony Pals are so mean to Tommy.
I hate that misbehaving ponies are never punished. I'm not saying they need to be whipped to death, but hello? Acorn opens the gate with his mouth and steals all their cookies! That's not cute, he could escape and die!!!
Yeah! Mike likes the devil pony, too!!
NOYCE! Mr. Remington the librarian is painting a pony that looks just like Harry Potter!!
Wait, so he has Daniel Radcliffe hair and everything?
Noyce.
Anna got a B-plus and the teacher wrote "Good job" on the paper. No. If you're going to write "Good job", give her at least an A!!!
Maybe it was for grammar mistakes.
Mike is making spaghetti for dinner.
What is wrong with these carb-obsessed freaks!!??
Anna has only 2 days to paint the pony, so her friends decide to take shorter trail rides.
You could always NOT trail ride, giving your more time to paint.
Mike told Tommy about the Pony contest, when he told Anna he WOULDN'T tell!!!
Betrayed!!!
I can't believe he ruined her pony. What a jerk.
Anna honestly thinks Mike did it.
Mike would never do a thing like that, Anna. He loves you.
Tommy practically confesses.
Awwww. Mike offers to help repaint the pony.
Some of the other pony ideas weren't so stellar:
Tuxedo Pony, Patriotic Pony, Glitter Pony, Little Red Riding Pony, Unicorn Pony, Baseball Pony, and Sky Pony are some of them.
AAAAH, THE PONY PALS ARE SO EVIL...BUT FUNNY!
Mrs. Rand: Anna Harley, this is perfect copy of Acorn. Absolutely perfect. Acorn was such a good pony. I miss him.
Lulu: I think Tommy misses Acorn, too.
Pam: He talks about Acorn sometimes.
Mrs. Rand: I'm so glad you told me that. Tommy's growing up so fast. Sometimes I don't recognize my sweet little boy.
Anna: Maybe you should buy My Pony at the auction. Then Tommy can always remember his time with Acorn.
Tee hee.
Mr. Olson almost buys the Acorn Pony!!! Go away, creepy pedophile!! Go back to your cowboy nephew!!
Mrs. Rand wins.
OH NO!
Mrs. Rand: Acorn was my son's pony. He's missed him. Now he'll always have Acorn.
Aaah, good times, good times.
Only one more Pony Pals book to go!!
And Lulu's moving to Africa!! Oh no!!!
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Unkept promises abound, or Pony Pals Super Special #4: The Fourth Pony Pal
So it's the FOURTH Super Special and it's about the FOURTH Pony Pal. Sorry. Not really funny.
Plot: Pam wants to take part in a jumping clinic in Virginia, so she and her Pony Pals go on a road trip!!! w00t!!!
When they get to the clinic, Mrs. Foster (the person in charge) is a total snob, and all the other girls are wankers. Shelly, Mrs. Foster's daughter, is just as mean as everyone else, but seems withdrawn and sad a lot of the time.
The meddling Pony Pals get to the bottom of it: Shelly misses her pony Midnight Ride, but is angry at her mother and best friend Brooke because they'd been advising her to dump Midnight Ride before he DIED of COLIC.
Ooooh, that burns.
The Pony Pals comfort Shelly, convince her to cry it out, and help her reconnect with her mother.
Then they go home.
More notes:
Lulu casually mentions homework. It seems like the Pony Pals NEVER GO TO SCHOOL.
Summer vacation again???
Wait...the clinic is in Virginia. Isn't that where Lulu's godsister or whatever Alicia lives?? And they're not going to go visit? I guess Alicia doesn't exist anymore.
They get a letter from Eleanor Morgan, the pro stadium jumper from #21. She writes like a 10-year-old.
Pam's dad is all, "Oh no, a week without Pam, what will I do?"
Shut up, Robert. You should be jumping for joy.
At least I think his name is Robert. Didn't he say his name was Robert that one time?
Anna feels like she's missing something important....
Underwear? No, not underwear.
Shoes? No, of course not.
Pads? Heck no, why would she need that?
Oh duh - ART SUPPLIES!
Grandmother Sanders gives them a beauty kit to take with them. Read: So you 3 won't look like slobs at the jumping clinic.
They live in Conneticutt (I know I spelled that wrong), right? It takes them 4 HOURS to get to Virginia. I don't think so. Mapquest says 9.
They act like people make a big deal about whether you have a horse or a pony. No, Pam, I don't think anyone cares.
Mrs. Foster is wonderfully polite ...until Pam's mom leaves.
Mrs. Foster: You shouldn't have disappeared like that. All your friends are upstairs.
Shelly: They're not my friends. They're your students.
Nice, a character with backbone!
Anna is such a freak!
"When we stay over at Pam's we sleep in the barn. We call ourselves the Pony Pals and love to trail ride."
And you wonder why you don't make friends easily....
Pam: Hi. I'm Pam Crandal. The tall one.
Um, the black one....
They have a palomino pony...named GOLDIE.
Proving that no one has any originality.
Heh. Mrs. Foster splits them up.
Pam is kind of stupid.
Shelly: Tell Brooke that my mother wants to speak with her.
Pam: *turns to Brooke* Shelly said-
Brooke: No duh, I'm not deaf.
Brooke and Shelly are fighting. Pam is sharing a room with them. Should be fun. XP
"Anna didn't mention the lucky upside-down heart marking on Lightning's forehead. She had a feeling Shelly wouldn't care."
I don't care either, Anna.
Sweet. Shelly is antisocial and feisty. We have a lot in common, Shelly!
Okay, I know these girls like horses, but there are OTHER horse books and movies that DON'T involve Black Beauty.
Everyone likes to talk about themselves, Pam. What's wrong with you?
Brooke is Regina from "Mean Girls".
Shelly seems upset. Pam wonders if Shelly lost a big competition.
Or maybe someone died, perhaps?
Bells say ding-dong, ding-dong. What kind of bell says dong-dong, dong-dong?
Shelly tells Brooke where to stuff it when Brooke mistakenly makes fun of the Pony Pals. Yeaaah!
Mrs. Foster: Quiet, you two. Watch carefully. You can learn a lot just by observing.
Anna: I can learn how to be bored.
Lol.
The Pony Pals want to know what Shelly's problem is and why she's so sad and angry.
I want to know why it's any of their business.
Anna and Snow White escape. In the process of looking for them, Pam sets off the burglar alarm. Hahaha, it wakes EVERYONE up.
I notice no one in this series ever has short hair or glasses. If they're a girl, anyway. For boys, that's true, too...except for the short hair part.
They start talking about ponies and Shelly runs away crying.
RED FLAG!
Her pony's name was Midnight Ride. -_- Guess what color he was?
"Shelly is a lot angry at her mother. We all wonder why."
Not only is that HORRIBLE grammar, but it should seem pretty obvious why Shelly hates her mom; the woman's a PSYCHO.
Anna has come a long way. Instead of instantly labeling people "snobs", she gives Shelly another chance.
Brooke: More Pony Pal secrets?
Lulu: Yes, and they're all about you, Brooke.
Pwned!!
To make friends with Shelly, they write her a letter????
But you guys are staying in the same house!!
Shelly doesn't want to play therapist with the Pony Pals, but she'd rather hang out with them than watch...*drumroll*..."Black Beauty"!
What is their obsession with this movie, as well as spaghetti, brownies, and grilled cheese sandwiches?
Shelly probably shouldn't watch a movie about a black horse. Might set her off again. Whatever.
"I was the only one who cried when Midnight Ride died."
Awwwwww....
Okay, lame. When Shelly tells them she has no interest in competing, Lulu and Anna understand.
But when Pam, in the beginning of the series, told them she HATED competing and had no interest in doing so, they EMOTIONALLY BLACKMAILED her into competing.
These guys SUCK.
Mrs. Foster has a horse named Royal Star.
What a prissy name.
Shelly writes a book about Midnight Ride and gives it to her mom.
Shelly got Midnight Ride when she was 6, and he died of colic when she was 10.
That really sucks.
Shelly: I don't want to live here anymore. I'm going to run away.
Anna: You can come to Wiggins with us if you want, but don't run away.
Whaaat? If you take her to Wiggins with you, you'll be HELPING her run away. SO CONFUSED.
Mrs. Foster promises to be less of a stiff.
Shelly: Is this what the Pony Pals do all the time?
Anna: Not ALL the time. But we trail ride a lot.
They also as participate in parades, man face-painting booths, catch hunters in the act, rescue hamsters, herd sheep, train ponies, find little girls and lost ponies, save ponies, tutor dyslexic girls, heal sick ponies, bargain with sellers, comfort dying ponies, tame wild ponies, join the circus, brave blizzards, give people makeovers, babysit, give blind ponies sight, manipulate and persuade, put out fires, adopt stray cats, take care of elderly ponies, help girls run away, build secret clubhouses, compete in horse shows, barrel race, watch bears, act in movies, find dogs, help birth foals, rescue abused animals, go back in time, communicate with animals, and help the environment.
Shelly's new friends Linda and Mary Ellen have ponies, too!
One is an Appaloosa named Smoothie, for his smooth gait (aaaaagh!).
Now they're all best friends and call themselves the Pony Pals, too.
Doesn't this happen in ALL Pony Pal books? They meet a new girl, make friends with her, convert her to their religion, and then send her home, where she creates her own three person Pony Cult. Creepy.
Only 3 Pony Pals books left: #37, #38, and Super Special #6.
Then it's all over.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Plot: Pam wants to take part in a jumping clinic in Virginia, so she and her Pony Pals go on a road trip!!! w00t!!!
When they get to the clinic, Mrs. Foster (the person in charge) is a total snob, and all the other girls are wankers. Shelly, Mrs. Foster's daughter, is just as mean as everyone else, but seems withdrawn and sad a lot of the time.
The meddling Pony Pals get to the bottom of it: Shelly misses her pony Midnight Ride, but is angry at her mother and best friend Brooke because they'd been advising her to dump Midnight Ride before he DIED of COLIC.
Ooooh, that burns.
The Pony Pals comfort Shelly, convince her to cry it out, and help her reconnect with her mother.
Then they go home.
More notes:
Lulu casually mentions homework. It seems like the Pony Pals NEVER GO TO SCHOOL.
Summer vacation again???
Wait...the clinic is in Virginia. Isn't that where Lulu's godsister or whatever Alicia lives?? And they're not going to go visit? I guess Alicia doesn't exist anymore.
They get a letter from Eleanor Morgan, the pro stadium jumper from #21. She writes like a 10-year-old.
Pam's dad is all, "Oh no, a week without Pam, what will I do?"
Shut up, Robert. You should be jumping for joy.
At least I think his name is Robert. Didn't he say his name was Robert that one time?
Anna feels like she's missing something important....
Underwear? No, not underwear.
Shoes? No, of course not.
Pads? Heck no, why would she need that?
Oh duh - ART SUPPLIES!
Grandmother Sanders gives them a beauty kit to take with them. Read: So you 3 won't look like slobs at the jumping clinic.
They live in Conneticutt (I know I spelled that wrong), right? It takes them 4 HOURS to get to Virginia. I don't think so. Mapquest says 9.
They act like people make a big deal about whether you have a horse or a pony. No, Pam, I don't think anyone cares.
Mrs. Foster is wonderfully polite ...until Pam's mom leaves.
Mrs. Foster: You shouldn't have disappeared like that. All your friends are upstairs.
Shelly: They're not my friends. They're your students.
Nice, a character with backbone!
Anna is such a freak!
"When we stay over at Pam's we sleep in the barn. We call ourselves the Pony Pals and love to trail ride."
And you wonder why you don't make friends easily....
Pam: Hi. I'm Pam Crandal. The tall one.
Um, the black one....
They have a palomino pony...named GOLDIE.
Proving that no one has any originality.
Heh. Mrs. Foster splits them up.
Pam is kind of stupid.
Shelly: Tell Brooke that my mother wants to speak with her.
Pam: *turns to Brooke* Shelly said-
Brooke: No duh, I'm not deaf.
Brooke and Shelly are fighting. Pam is sharing a room with them. Should be fun. XP
"Anna didn't mention the lucky upside-down heart marking on Lightning's forehead. She had a feeling Shelly wouldn't care."
I don't care either, Anna.
Sweet. Shelly is antisocial and feisty. We have a lot in common, Shelly!
Okay, I know these girls like horses, but there are OTHER horse books and movies that DON'T involve Black Beauty.
Everyone likes to talk about themselves, Pam. What's wrong with you?
Brooke is Regina from "Mean Girls".
Shelly seems upset. Pam wonders if Shelly lost a big competition.
Or maybe someone died, perhaps?
Bells say ding-dong, ding-dong. What kind of bell says dong-dong, dong-dong?
Shelly tells Brooke where to stuff it when Brooke mistakenly makes fun of the Pony Pals. Yeaaah!
Mrs. Foster: Quiet, you two. Watch carefully. You can learn a lot just by observing.
Anna: I can learn how to be bored.
Lol.
The Pony Pals want to know what Shelly's problem is and why she's so sad and angry.
I want to know why it's any of their business.
Anna and Snow White escape. In the process of looking for them, Pam sets off the burglar alarm. Hahaha, it wakes EVERYONE up.
I notice no one in this series ever has short hair or glasses. If they're a girl, anyway. For boys, that's true, too...except for the short hair part.
They start talking about ponies and Shelly runs away crying.
RED FLAG!
Her pony's name was Midnight Ride. -_- Guess what color he was?
"Shelly is a lot angry at her mother. We all wonder why."
Not only is that HORRIBLE grammar, but it should seem pretty obvious why Shelly hates her mom; the woman's a PSYCHO.
Anna has come a long way. Instead of instantly labeling people "snobs", she gives Shelly another chance.
Brooke: More Pony Pal secrets?
Lulu: Yes, and they're all about you, Brooke.
Pwned!!
To make friends with Shelly, they write her a letter????
But you guys are staying in the same house!!
Shelly doesn't want to play therapist with the Pony Pals, but she'd rather hang out with them than watch...*drumroll*..."Black Beauty"!
What is their obsession with this movie, as well as spaghetti, brownies, and grilled cheese sandwiches?
Shelly probably shouldn't watch a movie about a black horse. Might set her off again. Whatever.
"I was the only one who cried when Midnight Ride died."
Awwwwww....
Okay, lame. When Shelly tells them she has no interest in competing, Lulu and Anna understand.
But when Pam, in the beginning of the series, told them she HATED competing and had no interest in doing so, they EMOTIONALLY BLACKMAILED her into competing.
These guys SUCK.
Mrs. Foster has a horse named Royal Star.
What a prissy name.
Shelly writes a book about Midnight Ride and gives it to her mom.
Shelly got Midnight Ride when she was 6, and he died of colic when she was 10.
That really sucks.
Shelly: I don't want to live here anymore. I'm going to run away.
Anna: You can come to Wiggins with us if you want, but don't run away.
Whaaat? If you take her to Wiggins with you, you'll be HELPING her run away. SO CONFUSED.
Mrs. Foster promises to be less of a stiff.
Shelly: Is this what the Pony Pals do all the time?
Anna: Not ALL the time. But we trail ride a lot.
They also as participate in parades, man face-painting booths, catch hunters in the act, rescue hamsters, herd sheep, train ponies, find little girls and lost ponies, save ponies, tutor dyslexic girls, heal sick ponies, bargain with sellers, comfort dying ponies, tame wild ponies, join the circus, brave blizzards, give people makeovers, babysit, give blind ponies sight, manipulate and persuade, put out fires, adopt stray cats, take care of elderly ponies, help girls run away, build secret clubhouses, compete in horse shows, barrel race, watch bears, act in movies, find dogs, help birth foals, rescue abused animals, go back in time, communicate with animals, and help the environment.
Shelly's new friends Linda and Mary Ellen have ponies, too!
One is an Appaloosa named Smoothie, for his smooth gait (aaaaagh!).
Now they're all best friends and call themselves the Pony Pals, too.
Doesn't this happen in ALL Pony Pal books? They meet a new girl, make friends with her, convert her to their religion, and then send her home, where she creates her own three person Pony Cult. Creepy.
Only 3 Pony Pals books left: #37, #38, and Super Special #6.
Then it's all over.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Lonely, I'm so lonely, I have nobody for my own, or Pony Pals #25: The Lonely Pony
So much for this one. How long has it been since I put this on hold? Seriously, it was the most boring Pony Pals ever. I think it was because of Lulu; her books are always really lamesauce.
Plot: Lulu wakes up in the morning and finds not two, but THREE ponies in her paddock. Who is the mysterious third? Tongo, Mimi Kline's pony. It appears he ran away during the night because he's lonely. Anna takes Tongo back to Mimi's house and has Acorn stay with Tongo to make sure Tongo doesn't run away again.
Lulu is angry. Snow White has a respiratory infection and misses Acorn, but Anna doesn't seem to care at all! If only Pam were there to mediate, but she's at a jumping clinic for two days.
Pam comes back and doesn't do a very good job mediating. Anna and Lulu fight; Lulu thinks Anna is selfish and should bring Acorn back so Snow White won't be lonely. Anna thinks it's more important to take care of Tongo first so HE DOESN'T RUN AWAY AGAIN AND POSSIBLY GET HIT BY A CAR.
Time for three ideas. Pam suggests they make the fence bigger. Anna suggests they find Tongo a stablemate. Lulu has the same idea (probably written down hastily after hearing Anna's idea, no doubt), and the three go to St. Francis' Animal Shelter to pick out a nice pet.
They narrow it down to three: Max, a shy Basset Hound; Dottie, a cute pot-bellied pig; and Billy, an adorable pygmy goat.
Unfortunately, they decided to inform Mr. and Mrs. Kline of their new pet AFTER they brought it to their house.
Mimi, of course, ruins the entire situation with her bad timing. Mr. and Mrs. Kline don't like the idea of a new pet. The Pony Pals quickly decide on Billy the goat and leave him in the paddock with Tongo to see how they get along.
Not too well, it turns out. Lulu is sure that's because everyone is watching them and Billy is intimidated by them and his new surroundings. The Pony Pals decide to leave Tongo and his friend alone for a while and go on a nice, relaxing trail ride.
Wow. What a super ambiguous ending.
More notes:
"Lulu recognized the extra pony right away. It was Mimi Kline's small Shetland pony, Tongo. How did Tongo get there? Lulu wondered."
I'm assuming he walked.
"Acorn and Tongo happily sniffed noses over the fence. Snow White stood alone in the middle of the paddock. Snow White doesn't like having surprise visitors, thought Lulu."
Really, does Snow White like anybody?
Look at crap. Horrible:
Anna exchanged a smile. Mimi was cute and spoiled. Just like Tongo. And both were lots of fun.
Heh. I'd like to unleash Mrs. Sims on Jeanne Betancourt.
Anna: I think Snow White's jealous. She doesn't want to share Acorn.
Lulu: Snow White is not jealous. Tongo probably did something to her that we didn't see.
Whatever. She's jealous.
"Life in Wiggins is boring without my Pony Pals."
You're just now realizing that?
Lulu is so bored that she lets her grandmother cut her hair!!! :O
NO WAY, Grandmother Sanders gives her bangs! Lulu's hair looks pretty adorable, actually.
But not as good as mine, right? Lol.
Ugh, Lulu is so whiny.
Lulu: Is Acorn staying here tonight?
Anna: Yeah.
Lulu: But Acorn and Snow White are stablemates.
Anna: Mrs. Bell is afraid Tongo will run away again. I said I'd stay over, too.
Lulu: The Klines have to figure out how to keep Tongo in his own yard.
Anna: And we have to help them.
It's not actually their job to help people, but God forbid Lulu should do something nice for someone. "Nooo, I'd rather Tongo got hit by a car, because Snow White is SOOOO LONELY."
She has nobody for her own.
Oh no, Snow White is sick...again.
Dr. Crandal: Now let's see if she has a cough.
Dr Crandal squeezed Snow White's windpipe, and she coughed.
Uh, yeah, I'd cough, too, if someone squeezed my windpipe.
Ew, sulfur pills? Who'd want to take something that smelled like rotten eggs and came out of a volcano?
Anna makes a big mistake.
Lulu: So Acorn can't come home while Snow White is sick.
Anna: Good. It will give us time to solve the Tongo problem. We have to figure out how to keep him in his own yard.
Lulu: How can you say it's a good thing that Snow White is sick?
Anna: I didn't say it's good that Snow White's sick! I said it's good that Acorn is with Tongo. So Tongo won't run away again. We have time to solve the Tongo problem.
Lulu: The Klines should just get another pony. Then Tongo can have his own stablemate.
Hello? Ponies are uber-expensive, and Mimi has to ride Tongo IN THE DRIVEWAY!!! Something tells me the Klines don't have room for another pony.
Not to mention they run a HARDWARE STORE. Not a lot of money in that.
Haha. Anna makes another mistake.
Anna: Hi, everybody. How's Snow White? She looks better. Is he cured?
Lulu: She. Snow White is a she, you called her he.
Anna: Sorry. I just made a mistake.
You bet you did. Lol. Pony Pal fights.
Ugh, Lulu is so annoying.
"'That won't work,' Anna explained. 'Snow White doesn't like Tongo. She gets jealous.'
'Snow White is not jealous,' Lulu practically shouted at Anna.
Lulu glared at Anna. Didn't Anna understand anything about ponies? Didn't she love Snow White anymore?"
Whatever. Animals feel secondary emotions, one of those being jealousy. Snow White is SO JEALOUS.
You know how Anna always draws her ideas? Her idea this time is...a dog, a duck, and a goat. Please explain, Anna.
Remember Chicago? The cat Rosalie was obsessed with? CHICAGO LIVES!!
Anna: Tongo acts bratty sometimes. I bet Tongo did something to make Snow White angry. You know, the night he came to our paddock.
Like what? He called her a bad name? He hurt her feelings, did he?
Ew, the picture of Mr. Kline makes him look like the creepy old smoker dad from "Pretty in Pink".
"Pam hit Lulu on the head with another pillow. And Anna grabbed Lulu by both wrists while Pam tickled her. The Pony Pals had a pillow-tickle fight until they were all exhausted."
:O Wow...I have absolutely nothing to say to that.
Awww, pigs and ducks.
Oh, how droll, a duck named Crackers the Quacker! Excuse me if I don't bust my gut laughing.
Awwww, there's a REALLY CUTE picture of Pam holding some adorable puppies.
Who doesn't love pygmy goats?
Lulu wants Billy. Anna likes Dottie. Pam, who loves dogs, has bonded with Max. Guess who wins?
Lulu: Does Mrs. Kline know that Tongo is picking out a stablemate?
Anna: Not yet.
There's a 50% chance the Klines will say no, AND THEY DON'T ASK THEM FIRST??? Morons.
Tongo is attacked by a duck.
Anna tries to get Mimi to keep her mouth shut, so as not to ruin their idea with bad timing.
"Mommy! Mommy! I want Billy. I have to have him. Tongo wants him, too."
Way to go, Mimi.
Mrs. Kline is way POed. And the picture makes her look like a black man.
To calm her down, the Pony Pals bring her some cookies and lemonade.
Billy runs away, so Lulu and Pam decide to carry him to the paddock.
Mrs. Raskins: I was just going to suggest that.
Sure. Whatever.
Mrs. Kline gives Billy 5 seconds... "Hm, looks like it's not going to work. Take him back."
Billy is SO CUTE!!
The ending is so ambiguous!
Tongo and Billy: *are sort of beginning to get along*
Pam: Let's leave them alone for awhile.
Lulu: Good iea. And let's go on a trail ride. Just the Pony Pals.
Anna: Perfect.
So they ride off into the sunset...and we don't know if Billy stays or if he goes. That's a song.
So that's it. That's what I spent $4 on.
I really hate Lulu. In the very last Pony Pals book, Lulu should die a fiery death.
Lol, Jeanne Betancourt manages to squeeze like 5 Super Specials in between the last 4 books.
I have some Avalons that I still need to read. I don't know, I kind of hate that series now. Thankfully, there are only two more and then there aren't any more because Rachel Roberts decided not to write any.
I also have 8 more Madison Finn books. Sweet, right? I won't order anymore for now.
Yay, I also read "Heart to Heart" this morning, so I'll post that ASAP.
Plot: Lulu wakes up in the morning and finds not two, but THREE ponies in her paddock. Who is the mysterious third? Tongo, Mimi Kline's pony. It appears he ran away during the night because he's lonely. Anna takes Tongo back to Mimi's house and has Acorn stay with Tongo to make sure Tongo doesn't run away again.
Lulu is angry. Snow White has a respiratory infection and misses Acorn, but Anna doesn't seem to care at all! If only Pam were there to mediate, but she's at a jumping clinic for two days.
Pam comes back and doesn't do a very good job mediating. Anna and Lulu fight; Lulu thinks Anna is selfish and should bring Acorn back so Snow White won't be lonely. Anna thinks it's more important to take care of Tongo first so HE DOESN'T RUN AWAY AGAIN AND POSSIBLY GET HIT BY A CAR.
Time for three ideas. Pam suggests they make the fence bigger. Anna suggests they find Tongo a stablemate. Lulu has the same idea (probably written down hastily after hearing Anna's idea, no doubt), and the three go to St. Francis' Animal Shelter to pick out a nice pet.
They narrow it down to three: Max, a shy Basset Hound; Dottie, a cute pot-bellied pig; and Billy, an adorable pygmy goat.
Unfortunately, they decided to inform Mr. and Mrs. Kline of their new pet AFTER they brought it to their house.
Mimi, of course, ruins the entire situation with her bad timing. Mr. and Mrs. Kline don't like the idea of a new pet. The Pony Pals quickly decide on Billy the goat and leave him in the paddock with Tongo to see how they get along.
Not too well, it turns out. Lulu is sure that's because everyone is watching them and Billy is intimidated by them and his new surroundings. The Pony Pals decide to leave Tongo and his friend alone for a while and go on a nice, relaxing trail ride.
Wow. What a super ambiguous ending.
More notes:
"Lulu recognized the extra pony right away. It was Mimi Kline's small Shetland pony, Tongo. How did Tongo get there? Lulu wondered."
I'm assuming he walked.
"Acorn and Tongo happily sniffed noses over the fence. Snow White stood alone in the middle of the paddock. Snow White doesn't like having surprise visitors, thought Lulu."
Really, does Snow White like anybody?
Look at crap. Horrible:
Anna exchanged a smile. Mimi was cute and spoiled. Just like Tongo. And both were lots of fun.
Heh. I'd like to unleash Mrs. Sims on Jeanne Betancourt.
Anna: I think Snow White's jealous. She doesn't want to share Acorn.
Lulu: Snow White is not jealous. Tongo probably did something to her that we didn't see.
Whatever. She's jealous.
"Life in Wiggins is boring without my Pony Pals."
You're just now realizing that?
Lulu is so bored that she lets her grandmother cut her hair!!! :O
NO WAY, Grandmother Sanders gives her bangs! Lulu's hair looks pretty adorable, actually.
But not as good as mine, right? Lol.
Ugh, Lulu is so whiny.
Lulu: Is Acorn staying here tonight?
Anna: Yeah.
Lulu: But Acorn and Snow White are stablemates.
Anna: Mrs. Bell is afraid Tongo will run away again. I said I'd stay over, too.
Lulu: The Klines have to figure out how to keep Tongo in his own yard.
Anna: And we have to help them.
It's not actually their job to help people, but God forbid Lulu should do something nice for someone. "Nooo, I'd rather Tongo got hit by a car, because Snow White is SOOOO LONELY."
She has nobody for her own.
Oh no, Snow White is sick...again.
Dr. Crandal: Now let's see if she has a cough.
Dr Crandal squeezed Snow White's windpipe, and she coughed.
Uh, yeah, I'd cough, too, if someone squeezed my windpipe.
Ew, sulfur pills? Who'd want to take something that smelled like rotten eggs and came out of a volcano?
Anna makes a big mistake.
Lulu: So Acorn can't come home while Snow White is sick.
Anna: Good. It will give us time to solve the Tongo problem. We have to figure out how to keep him in his own yard.
Lulu: How can you say it's a good thing that Snow White is sick?
Anna: I didn't say it's good that Snow White's sick! I said it's good that Acorn is with Tongo. So Tongo won't run away again. We have time to solve the Tongo problem.
Lulu: The Klines should just get another pony. Then Tongo can have his own stablemate.
Hello? Ponies are uber-expensive, and Mimi has to ride Tongo IN THE DRIVEWAY!!! Something tells me the Klines don't have room for another pony.
Not to mention they run a HARDWARE STORE. Not a lot of money in that.
Haha. Anna makes another mistake.
Anna: Hi, everybody. How's Snow White? She looks better. Is he cured?
Lulu: She. Snow White is a she, you called her he.
Anna: Sorry. I just made a mistake.
You bet you did. Lol. Pony Pal fights.
Ugh, Lulu is so annoying.
"'That won't work,' Anna explained. 'Snow White doesn't like Tongo. She gets jealous.'
'Snow White is not jealous,' Lulu practically shouted at Anna.
Lulu glared at Anna. Didn't Anna understand anything about ponies? Didn't she love Snow White anymore?"
Whatever. Animals feel secondary emotions, one of those being jealousy. Snow White is SO JEALOUS.
You know how Anna always draws her ideas? Her idea this time is...a dog, a duck, and a goat. Please explain, Anna.
Remember Chicago? The cat Rosalie was obsessed with? CHICAGO LIVES!!
Anna: Tongo acts bratty sometimes. I bet Tongo did something to make Snow White angry. You know, the night he came to our paddock.
Like what? He called her a bad name? He hurt her feelings, did he?
Ew, the picture of Mr. Kline makes him look like the creepy old smoker dad from "Pretty in Pink".
"Pam hit Lulu on the head with another pillow. And Anna grabbed Lulu by both wrists while Pam tickled her. The Pony Pals had a pillow-tickle fight until they were all exhausted."
:O Wow...I have absolutely nothing to say to that.
Awww, pigs and ducks.
Oh, how droll, a duck named Crackers the Quacker! Excuse me if I don't bust my gut laughing.
Awwww, there's a REALLY CUTE picture of Pam holding some adorable puppies.
Who doesn't love pygmy goats?
Lulu wants Billy. Anna likes Dottie. Pam, who loves dogs, has bonded with Max. Guess who wins?
Lulu: Does Mrs. Kline know that Tongo is picking out a stablemate?
Anna: Not yet.
There's a 50% chance the Klines will say no, AND THEY DON'T ASK THEM FIRST??? Morons.
Tongo is attacked by a duck.
Anna tries to get Mimi to keep her mouth shut, so as not to ruin their idea with bad timing.
"Mommy! Mommy! I want Billy. I have to have him. Tongo wants him, too."
Way to go, Mimi.
Mrs. Kline is way POed. And the picture makes her look like a black man.
To calm her down, the Pony Pals bring her some cookies and lemonade.
Billy runs away, so Lulu and Pam decide to carry him to the paddock.
Mrs. Raskins: I was just going to suggest that.
Sure. Whatever.
Mrs. Kline gives Billy 5 seconds... "Hm, looks like it's not going to work. Take him back."
Billy is SO CUTE!!
The ending is so ambiguous!
Tongo and Billy: *are sort of beginning to get along*
Pam: Let's leave them alone for awhile.
Lulu: Good iea. And let's go on a trail ride. Just the Pony Pals.
Anna: Perfect.
So they ride off into the sunset...and we don't know if Billy stays or if he goes. That's a song.
So that's it. That's what I spent $4 on.
I really hate Lulu. In the very last Pony Pals book, Lulu should die a fiery death.
Lol, Jeanne Betancourt manages to squeeze like 5 Super Specials in between the last 4 books.
I have some Avalons that I still need to read. I don't know, I kind of hate that series now. Thankfully, there are only two more and then there aren't any more because Rachel Roberts decided not to write any.
I also have 8 more Madison Finn books. Sweet, right? I won't order anymore for now.
Yay, I also read "Heart to Heart" this morning, so I'll post that ASAP.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Racism runs rampant even among ponies, or Pony Pals #35: Magic Pony
I still love Pony Pals. 92 pages of bad writing and petty conflicts make my day. This particular book handles touchy topics like divorce, homosexuality, and racism in an ignorant and friendly manner.
Plot: There's a play in Wiggins! 10-12 year old boys and girls can try out for the parts of Joseph and Princess Kalandra in "The Magic Pony", a magical tale of friendship and healing. Also, because of the play's title, ponies can try out as well!
Anna wants Acorn to try out, but doesn't want to try out herself. The Pony Pals convince her otherwise. Surprisingly, Anna gets the part of Kalandra...but Acorn doesn't get a part at all! And Snow White didn't even try out, but the director requested her for the part...BECAUSE SHE'S WHITE!!!! White ponies are much more magical than bay ones, obviously.
Rema Baxter (who I thought was at boarding school) tried out as well, but is now Anna's understudy. The former-brat is being uncharacteristically nice to Anna and even invites the Pony Pals over for a sleepover!
However, all these distractions and disappointments are keeping Anna from memorizing her lines. Anna finally gives up and admits to her friends that Rema should be Kalandra instead. After harsh rebukes, Pam and Lulu tell Anna to keep trying and even help her memorize her lines. The other Pals also think Acorn should have the part of the Magic Pony instead of Snow White, who can't act at all.
They go to the director with this idea and he reluctantly agrees.
The Pony Pals band together and rebuke the devil, er, Rema, who quits the play.
But it doesn't matter. The play is a success. Now Anna has a new career in mind: acting. Oh dear. Hope you like starving to death.
More notes:
This one's not hardcover.
Only 10 to 12 year old boys and girls are allowed to try out. How agist.
Pam shows up with the poster and is like, "Let's ride to the brook and talk about it." Why can't you talk about it there??
Lulu, Lulu, Lulu. "I wonder what the Magic Pony is about." Well, it couldn't possibly be about a magic pony...
Anna doesn't want to try out; she's better at improvising than acting OTHER people's words.
Lame. Pam writes a scene for Anna to practice on to prove she can act. It's about a girl and her mother. Lulu gets to play the mother. Hysterical.
Ah, this scene sucks.
Girl: You told me I could have a pony when I was ten years old.
Mother: That's not what I said.
[OMG! This is like my life! Oggy was so old, and for years my mom kept saying, "Once we buy a house, we can buy a big dog." Then I repeated that back to her, and she's like, "I NEVER said that." Liar.]
Girl: You did, Mom. Honest. I have been waiting two whole years for a pony.
[Like when I waited 3 whole years to get a dog and they said they'd THINK ABOUT IT.]
Mother: I said we would think about getting you a pony when you were ten. I though about it. I have decided you cannot have a pony.
[OMG!!! PAM WROTE A STORY ABOUT MY LIFE!! PLAGIARISM! Dang, this mom's a drag.]
Girl: We have a big yard. I'll take care of my pony. You won't have to do anything. Please, Mom. I love ponies so much.
[You go, girl.]
Mother: Don't argue with me.
Girl: But you said-
Mother: (shouting) The answer is final! No pony.
[B****]
Girl: (crying softly) But you promised.
THE END
How depressing. I almost started crying. Anna DOES start crying.
I like how Anna's the only character that seems like a real person. She has poor parents AND dyslexia, but Pam is the best student in their class and Lulu has a perfect memory. I noticed the book didn't mention them being passive-agressive, controlling hos, but hey.
REMA BAXTER IS BACK!!! I though she was at boarding school, but I guess boarding schools let you take a break to try out in local plays.
Hahaha. This play is hilarious.
"Magic Pony takes place a long time ago in a faraway land. [Like Star Wars.] The main character is Princess Kalandra. The lovely Kalandra has a serious illness that will kill her. [Like in The Two Princesses of Bamarre.] Since early childhood, Kalandra has heard stories about a magical pony in the woods near the castle."
The Magic Pony has lived for hundreds of years and can heal terrible illnesses. How convenient.
"Kalandra dressed like an ordinary person and goes into the woods. She climbs into a tree house. From there she looks for the Magic Pony. [Yeah, that'll work. "Hm, I can't see the pony from the tree house. Must not be here."] Kalandra doesn't see the pony, but she does spot a young woodsman. This is Joseph, and Kalandra is in his tree house. Joseph and Kalandra meet and become friends. Kalandra doesn't tell Joseph that she is sick or that she is the princess. [Like "A Walk to Remember".] But she does tell him that she is searching for the pony. Joseph offers to help Kalandra find the Magic Pony."
Bla bla bla. There's more about the evil uncle Damien, who wants to drink the Magic Pony's blood. That's pretty graphic for a children's book.
William the director looks Irish. Pam is wearing really high-waisted pants WITH HER SHIRT TUCKED IN.
MIKE LACEY TRIES OUT FOR THE PLAY!!!! Wait, I thought he was in 8th grade. Doesn't that make him older than 12? And Rema was 14 in book #4. What happened there? Does she look 11?
Whoa. The director is also SIZEIST!!
Tongo is too small (oh, and he's also badly behaved).
Lightning is too big (oh, and she bites).
Of course Snow White is perfect. Because she's WHITE. He barely even looks at Acorn.
Rema straightened her hair. The look doesn't exactly work for her.
Dang, I hate Snow White.
Lol, on the cast poster they put, "THERE IS NO UNDERSTUDY FOR JOSEPH." Yes, we can see that. How unprofessional.
:O RACIST!!
Lulu: I think Acorn is a better actor.
William: Maybe you're right. But Snow White looks the part. We'll put some silver sparkles on that beautiful white coat. She'll glow in the dark woods behind the library. It will all be very magical.
Wow. This play is worse than "Eragon". "We will sell that pony's blood for gold, Joseph!"
Suddenly there's a Queen in this story?? So confused.
Anna: Rema is being nice to me. Really friendly.
Lulu: Don't trust her, Anna. She can be a real phony.
Anna: Sometimes people change.
Baby, seasons change, but people don't...and I'll always be waiting in the back room. ;)
Heh, there's a picture of Rema with her arm around Anna and Anna's all, "Get away."
I love Anna. She's boring, but overcompensates with headlines and flash, flash, flash photography. SORRY.
Rema is such a liar.
And William is such a perfectionist.
Anna: Magic Pony, where did you go?
William: Anna, the lines is, "Magic Pony, where are you?"
Rema tells Anna that if she reads her script a couple times, she'll remember all her lines. Liar.
And she invites the Pony Pals over for a sleepover??? "It'll be a lot of fun. We can play with your ponies, watch videos, and have pizza."
I bet a million bucks she'll poison the pizza. Or lure Anna into the back room and strangle her with a bridle.
If the Pony Pals really don't want to do something, they should not do it. But Pam and Lulu go to Rema's anyway.
Rema: Can I ride her bareback? I used to love to do that.
WAIT! In the play, Kalandra is supposed to ride the Magic Pony BAREBACK! SHE'S TRYING TO STEAL YOUR PART, ANNA!
Rema rents a video about Connemara ponies. In Ireland. (Duh, of course they're in Ireland; Connemaras are IRISH.) Okay, I like ponies, but these girls have to be interested in something else. Pony movies can be very boring. Especially "Black Beauty".
They make pizza themselves. Wow, is Wiggins to small for a Pizza Hut?
This girl is such a liar! Why do they believe her?
Rema: Next, let's play cards. You can choose the game.
Anna: Do you know how to play Hearts? That's my favorite card game.
Rema: Hearts is my favorite card game, too! Whenever I play it, I remember Lightning's upside-down heart.
Liar. Way to suck-up to Anna's friends. And who plays cards at a sleepover? Usually girls watch movies, listen to music, give each other makeovers (Thank God, I've only experienced this once), and gossip about other people.
Oh dear, Rema keeps them up past midnight!! THE HORROR! (Midnight? Please. Try 6 AM.)
Lulu: She invited us because she wanted to ride Snow White. If you get sick and can't be in the play, Rema would have your part. She'd be Kalandra and have to ride Snow White bareback.
Anna: But the videos and pizza and ice cream.
Uh oh. Anna is easily swayed by food...as am I.
Oh my goodness! Near the end of "Magic Pony" (the play), Damien beats Joseph!!! CHILD ABUSE!! This play's subject matter is a little disturbing. Little kids should not be reading this.
REMA HAS ALL KALANDRA'S LINES MEMORIZED!!! You're so blind, Anna.
Ew, Mike looks like a four-year-old boy.
Dang, this is community theater. Someone needs to tell William to lighten up.
Snow White was supposed to go to Anna when she gave the signal...but she goes to Rema instead. SOMETHING IS UP HERE!!!
Anna goes on a ride to blow off some steam.
*as she rides away*
Pam: Anna, stop!
Lulu: We should talk about what's bothering you!
What are you, psychiatrists? Some people need to be alone.
Lulu: We have a Pony Pal problem and we need three ideas.
Anna: Do you think that I'm a Pony Pal Problem?
Lol. Good answer.
Anna draws a hideous drawing of Rema, though it is quite lifelike.
Anna thinks she's dumb because she's dyslexic. :(
Hm, what a smashing idea, Pam. "Lulu and I should help Anna learn her lines."
Why couldn't you have done that in the first place?
Lulu: Snow White only got the part because she's white. She doesn't know any tricks or how to act.
LOL!! It's like they're not really talking about a pony. It's so true, though. Snow White doesn't have any useful talents.
Anna: I'll try your ideas, but if they don't work, I'm dropping out.
Of the play...or school?
"Magic Pony, I am very sick and will die son. I am too young to die. Will you save my life?"
That was beautiful. :P
TOMMY RAND RUNS ANNA OVER WITH HIS BIKE!! What's wrong with you, boy??? And he looks just like Mike? Thanks, Paul Bachem, you could make at least SOME distinction between the two.
Uh oh. Mike doesn't want Tommy to know he likes theater.
OMG!! MIKE LIKES THEATER!! I know that's a stereotype, but doesn't that prove he's gay?
Rema calls the play a kid's play once the Pony Pals uncover her deception. Ha.
They wonder who will play Joseph if Mike drops out. Um, why don't you have a GIRL play Joseph? Peter Pan was always a girl.
Oh dear. Mike needs to be more responsible and give his sister lunch. Otherwise she might STARVE.
Okay, come on. She's 6 YEARS OLD. I know 3 year olds that are capable of making sandwiches.
Ew, Acorn eats Rosalie's sandwich. That's DISGUSTING. Horses eat DIRT.
William doesn't even cal Snow White by her name. He just calls her "the white pony". I bet he calls Acorn "the black-and-brown pony". That's it, I'm calling the NAACP.
Tommy direspects William and William calls him a tough guy. This guy obviously does not have kids.
Mike wants to quit, but Rosalie tells him he can't...because his Dad is coming to see it.
:O Really? That would be so awful if she was making that up. But it's a Pony Pals book, so of course she isn't.
OMG!!! "Mike's father left his wife and kids to move to Chicago with a girlfriend."
What?? I thought they got divorced. He didn't do any leaving. How awful!!!
LOL.
Tommy: I'm not going to watch you in some kid's show.
Lulu: It's not just a kid's show, Tommy. It's family entertainment.
LOL. William gives Tommy a unicycle and convinces him to spread news about the play. Wow. I'd love to see that.
That's pretty much it.
I don't have any other books. Well, I have the last Balinor (XP) and two Avalons (XP) but I haven't read any of them. Tomorrow's my last day at home, anyway, and then I have to go back to school, so I'm going to rest up. I love four-day-weekends.
Plot: There's a play in Wiggins! 10-12 year old boys and girls can try out for the parts of Joseph and Princess Kalandra in "The Magic Pony", a magical tale of friendship and healing. Also, because of the play's title, ponies can try out as well!
Anna wants Acorn to try out, but doesn't want to try out herself. The Pony Pals convince her otherwise. Surprisingly, Anna gets the part of Kalandra...but Acorn doesn't get a part at all! And Snow White didn't even try out, but the director requested her for the part...BECAUSE SHE'S WHITE!!!! White ponies are much more magical than bay ones, obviously.
Rema Baxter (who I thought was at boarding school) tried out as well, but is now Anna's understudy. The former-brat is being uncharacteristically nice to Anna and even invites the Pony Pals over for a sleepover!
However, all these distractions and disappointments are keeping Anna from memorizing her lines. Anna finally gives up and admits to her friends that Rema should be Kalandra instead. After harsh rebukes, Pam and Lulu tell Anna to keep trying and even help her memorize her lines. The other Pals also think Acorn should have the part of the Magic Pony instead of Snow White, who can't act at all.
They go to the director with this idea and he reluctantly agrees.
The Pony Pals band together and rebuke the devil, er, Rema, who quits the play.
But it doesn't matter. The play is a success. Now Anna has a new career in mind: acting. Oh dear. Hope you like starving to death.
More notes:
This one's not hardcover.
Only 10 to 12 year old boys and girls are allowed to try out. How agist.
Pam shows up with the poster and is like, "Let's ride to the brook and talk about it." Why can't you talk about it there??
Lulu, Lulu, Lulu. "I wonder what the Magic Pony is about." Well, it couldn't possibly be about a magic pony...
Anna doesn't want to try out; she's better at improvising than acting OTHER people's words.
Lame. Pam writes a scene for Anna to practice on to prove she can act. It's about a girl and her mother. Lulu gets to play the mother. Hysterical.
Ah, this scene sucks.
Girl: You told me I could have a pony when I was ten years old.
Mother: That's not what I said.
[OMG! This is like my life! Oggy was so old, and for years my mom kept saying, "Once we buy a house, we can buy a big dog." Then I repeated that back to her, and she's like, "I NEVER said that." Liar.]
Girl: You did, Mom. Honest. I have been waiting two whole years for a pony.
[Like when I waited 3 whole years to get a dog and they said they'd THINK ABOUT IT.]
Mother: I said we would think about getting you a pony when you were ten. I though about it. I have decided you cannot have a pony.
[OMG!!! PAM WROTE A STORY ABOUT MY LIFE!! PLAGIARISM! Dang, this mom's a drag.]
Girl: We have a big yard. I'll take care of my pony. You won't have to do anything. Please, Mom. I love ponies so much.
[You go, girl.]
Mother: Don't argue with me.
Girl: But you said-
Mother: (shouting) The answer is final! No pony.
[B****]
Girl: (crying softly) But you promised.
THE END
How depressing. I almost started crying. Anna DOES start crying.
I like how Anna's the only character that seems like a real person. She has poor parents AND dyslexia, but Pam is the best student in their class and Lulu has a perfect memory. I noticed the book didn't mention them being passive-agressive, controlling hos, but hey.
REMA BAXTER IS BACK!!! I though she was at boarding school, but I guess boarding schools let you take a break to try out in local plays.
Hahaha. This play is hilarious.
"Magic Pony takes place a long time ago in a faraway land. [Like Star Wars.] The main character is Princess Kalandra. The lovely Kalandra has a serious illness that will kill her. [Like in The Two Princesses of Bamarre.] Since early childhood, Kalandra has heard stories about a magical pony in the woods near the castle."
The Magic Pony has lived for hundreds of years and can heal terrible illnesses. How convenient.
"Kalandra dressed like an ordinary person and goes into the woods. She climbs into a tree house. From there she looks for the Magic Pony. [Yeah, that'll work. "Hm, I can't see the pony from the tree house. Must not be here."] Kalandra doesn't see the pony, but she does spot a young woodsman. This is Joseph, and Kalandra is in his tree house. Joseph and Kalandra meet and become friends. Kalandra doesn't tell Joseph that she is sick or that she is the princess. [Like "A Walk to Remember".] But she does tell him that she is searching for the pony. Joseph offers to help Kalandra find the Magic Pony."
Bla bla bla. There's more about the evil uncle Damien, who wants to drink the Magic Pony's blood. That's pretty graphic for a children's book.
William the director looks Irish. Pam is wearing really high-waisted pants WITH HER SHIRT TUCKED IN.
MIKE LACEY TRIES OUT FOR THE PLAY!!!! Wait, I thought he was in 8th grade. Doesn't that make him older than 12? And Rema was 14 in book #4. What happened there? Does she look 11?
Whoa. The director is also SIZEIST!!
Tongo is too small (oh, and he's also badly behaved).
Lightning is too big (oh, and she bites).
Of course Snow White is perfect. Because she's WHITE. He barely even looks at Acorn.
Rema straightened her hair. The look doesn't exactly work for her.
Dang, I hate Snow White.
Lol, on the cast poster they put, "THERE IS NO UNDERSTUDY FOR JOSEPH." Yes, we can see that. How unprofessional.
:O RACIST!!
Lulu: I think Acorn is a better actor.
William: Maybe you're right. But Snow White looks the part. We'll put some silver sparkles on that beautiful white coat. She'll glow in the dark woods behind the library. It will all be very magical.
Wow. This play is worse than "Eragon". "We will sell that pony's blood for gold, Joseph!"
Suddenly there's a Queen in this story?? So confused.
Anna: Rema is being nice to me. Really friendly.
Lulu: Don't trust her, Anna. She can be a real phony.
Anna: Sometimes people change.
Baby, seasons change, but people don't...and I'll always be waiting in the back room. ;)
Heh, there's a picture of Rema with her arm around Anna and Anna's all, "Get away."
I love Anna. She's boring, but overcompensates with headlines and flash, flash, flash photography. SORRY.
Rema is such a liar.
And William is such a perfectionist.
Anna: Magic Pony, where did you go?
William: Anna, the lines is, "Magic Pony, where are you?"
Rema tells Anna that if she reads her script a couple times, she'll remember all her lines. Liar.
And she invites the Pony Pals over for a sleepover??? "It'll be a lot of fun. We can play with your ponies, watch videos, and have pizza."
I bet a million bucks she'll poison the pizza. Or lure Anna into the back room and strangle her with a bridle.
If the Pony Pals really don't want to do something, they should not do it. But Pam and Lulu go to Rema's anyway.
Rema: Can I ride her bareback? I used to love to do that.
WAIT! In the play, Kalandra is supposed to ride the Magic Pony BAREBACK! SHE'S TRYING TO STEAL YOUR PART, ANNA!
Rema rents a video about Connemara ponies. In Ireland. (Duh, of course they're in Ireland; Connemaras are IRISH.) Okay, I like ponies, but these girls have to be interested in something else. Pony movies can be very boring. Especially "Black Beauty".
They make pizza themselves. Wow, is Wiggins to small for a Pizza Hut?
This girl is such a liar! Why do they believe her?
Rema: Next, let's play cards. You can choose the game.
Anna: Do you know how to play Hearts? That's my favorite card game.
Rema: Hearts is my favorite card game, too! Whenever I play it, I remember Lightning's upside-down heart.
Liar. Way to suck-up to Anna's friends. And who plays cards at a sleepover? Usually girls watch movies, listen to music, give each other makeovers (Thank God, I've only experienced this once), and gossip about other people.
Oh dear, Rema keeps them up past midnight!! THE HORROR! (Midnight? Please. Try 6 AM.)
Lulu: She invited us because she wanted to ride Snow White. If you get sick and can't be in the play, Rema would have your part. She'd be Kalandra and have to ride Snow White bareback.
Anna: But the videos and pizza and ice cream.
Uh oh. Anna is easily swayed by food...as am I.
Oh my goodness! Near the end of "Magic Pony" (the play), Damien beats Joseph!!! CHILD ABUSE!! This play's subject matter is a little disturbing. Little kids should not be reading this.
REMA HAS ALL KALANDRA'S LINES MEMORIZED!!! You're so blind, Anna.
Ew, Mike looks like a four-year-old boy.
Dang, this is community theater. Someone needs to tell William to lighten up.
Snow White was supposed to go to Anna when she gave the signal...but she goes to Rema instead. SOMETHING IS UP HERE!!!
Anna goes on a ride to blow off some steam.
*as she rides away*
Pam: Anna, stop!
Lulu: We should talk about what's bothering you!
What are you, psychiatrists? Some people need to be alone.
Lulu: We have a Pony Pal problem and we need three ideas.
Anna: Do you think that I'm a Pony Pal Problem?
Lol. Good answer.
Anna draws a hideous drawing of Rema, though it is quite lifelike.
Anna thinks she's dumb because she's dyslexic. :(
Hm, what a smashing idea, Pam. "Lulu and I should help Anna learn her lines."
Why couldn't you have done that in the first place?
Lulu: Snow White only got the part because she's white. She doesn't know any tricks or how to act.
LOL!! It's like they're not really talking about a pony. It's so true, though. Snow White doesn't have any useful talents.
Anna: I'll try your ideas, but if they don't work, I'm dropping out.
Of the play...or school?
"Magic Pony, I am very sick and will die son. I am too young to die. Will you save my life?"
That was beautiful. :P
TOMMY RAND RUNS ANNA OVER WITH HIS BIKE!! What's wrong with you, boy??? And he looks just like Mike? Thanks, Paul Bachem, you could make at least SOME distinction between the two.
Uh oh. Mike doesn't want Tommy to know he likes theater.
OMG!! MIKE LIKES THEATER!! I know that's a stereotype, but doesn't that prove he's gay?
Rema calls the play a kid's play once the Pony Pals uncover her deception. Ha.
They wonder who will play Joseph if Mike drops out. Um, why don't you have a GIRL play Joseph? Peter Pan was always a girl.
Oh dear. Mike needs to be more responsible and give his sister lunch. Otherwise she might STARVE.
Okay, come on. She's 6 YEARS OLD. I know 3 year olds that are capable of making sandwiches.
Ew, Acorn eats Rosalie's sandwich. That's DISGUSTING. Horses eat DIRT.
William doesn't even cal Snow White by her name. He just calls her "the white pony". I bet he calls Acorn "the black-and-brown pony". That's it, I'm calling the NAACP.
Tommy direspects William and William calls him a tough guy. This guy obviously does not have kids.
Mike wants to quit, but Rosalie tells him he can't...because his Dad is coming to see it.
:O Really? That would be so awful if she was making that up. But it's a Pony Pals book, so of course she isn't.
OMG!!! "Mike's father left his wife and kids to move to Chicago with a girlfriend."
What?? I thought they got divorced. He didn't do any leaving. How awful!!!
LOL.
Tommy: I'm not going to watch you in some kid's show.
Lulu: It's not just a kid's show, Tommy. It's family entertainment.
LOL. William gives Tommy a unicycle and convinces him to spread news about the play. Wow. I'd love to see that.
That's pretty much it.
I don't have any other books. Well, I have the last Balinor (XP) and two Avalons (XP) but I haven't read any of them. Tomorrow's my last day at home, anyway, and then I have to go back to school, so I'm going to rest up. I love four-day-weekends.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
It's the circle of life, or Pony Pals #34: The Pony and the Lost Swan
Pony Pals, Pony Pals, oh how I missed you. It's been nothing but unicorns, magic, and teenagers for a long time. I've been missing you guys, as well as Maddie Finn.
Plot: Lulu and Snow White are riding with their friends by Lake Appamapog when they find swan feathers. Lulu is obsessed with swans, so they look around to see if they can find any, and lo and behold, there they are, out on the lake! The Pony Pals name the swan and her three cygnets stupid things and admire the beautiful scene for a million years.
Then Mr. Kline comes by in his truck and tells them about the swan's mate, which was shot with a bow and arrow last week. He also instructs them to warn people not to leave their fishing line lying around, as it could kill the swans.
The Pony Pals go out and bother Tommy, because he likes to fish.
The next day, the Pony Pals go to visit the swans again...and find Friendly and Bottom Up, two of the cygnets, all by themselves!! Where are White Feathers and Slowpoke? White Feathers would never leave her babies by themselves!
They put the two babies in a box and take them to the animal shelter.
Later, they find White Feathers tangled up in fishing line. Curse you, Tommy Rand. They send her to the animal ER, too.
White Feathers is reunited with her babies and slowly recovers, but they still can't find Slowpoke! Hm, maybe she died. But the Pony Pals are convinced the cygnet is still alive.
She is. Back to her mother she goes.
After White Feathers recovers, they take the swans back to the lake and put up a sign warning people not to leave their fishing line lying around. Everyone gathers to watch the swans frolic in the water. Joyous days.
More notes:
The copy the library gave me was a hardcover. Seriously, a hardcover Pony Pals! Ghettofabulous.
I hate that bad behavior is written off as "curiosity".
How descriptive Pam. "Swans are really beautiful and big."
"The babies are adorable, but they're brown, not white." Kind of like 101 Dalmations. "WHERE ARE THE SPOTS?"
Uh oh, these swans don't have a father. Irresponsible swan fathers, never pay child support.
Lulu: *looking at the mother swan* White Feathers. She's White Feathers.
Pam: How do you know her name?
Lulu: It just popped into my head.
Anna: It's a perfect name for her.
Hm, maybe because she has WHITE FEATHERS.
Ugh. Lulu sang to some swans in England and they started dancing. Like a ballet. Ha. Swan Lake. Okaaay, enough of that.
They sing, "Make New Friends, but Keep the Old." THAT'S A GIRL SCOUTS SONG!
They name the babies Friendly, Slowpoke, and Bottom Up (because she resembles a shot glass).
ROFL. I love how blunt Mr. Kline is.
Anna: I wonder where he is now.
Mr. Kline: The male was killed last week.
Pam: That's so awful.
Lulu: How was he killed?
Mr. Kline: He was shot with a bow and arrow. His mate was very upset.
They should try to solve the mystery of this swan's murder. Like on "Monk".
OMG!!!
Mr. Kline: There were four cygnets the last time I was here. I guess one of them didn't make it.
Lulu: Was the cygnet shot with a bow and arrow, too?
Mr. Kline: I don't think so. I bet a snapping turtle got it. They go after cygnets and goslings. Or a hawk could have swooped down and taken it.
I love how he's casually chatting about death with 10-year-old girls!! This is hilarious!
Tommy: Let's go, Mike.
Mike: Sure. We're out of here, buddy.
Buddy? They're so gay together. Or at least Mike likes Tommy, like Dumbledore liked Gellert.
Ooh, the Pony Pals get in a fight with those rowdy boys.
Tommy: The BORING Pony Pests!
Anna: The DUMB, RUDE Bike Buddies!
Oh dear, this is getting heated.
They eat grilled-cheese-and-TOMATO sandwiches. This is an improvement. At least they're getting their vegetables.
Snow White gets caught in some fishing line. Heh.
How random. Friendly and Bottom Up pop out of nowhere.
Lulu is the best detective. Acorn is the best pony detective. They should work together.
That's seriously how sentences go in this book.
Dang, White Feathers has fish hooks stuck in her body. Ouch.
Pam isn't the best problem solver. "If we cut the fishing line, she could swim away with the hooks. If we take out the hooks, she could bleed."
How about you take her to the ANIMAL HOSPITAL.
I find it hard to believe that Ms. Raskins is the only one working at the shelter right now. Take a break and save the swan. "No, I'm busy, you irresponsible 10-year-olds need to bring it to me yourselves."
They enlist the help of Mr. Kline.
Whatever. This swan would be attacking them. Swans are MEAN. But White Feathers sits calmly while they remove pieces of metal from her flesh.
Whoa, since when is Mr. Kline a fireman? He owns a hardware store!
"We don't want to frighten her by bringing her indoors. There's a hawk in the examining room."
HA. That could end badly.
In the picture, there are THREE babies, but in the story, one is still missing. Way to go, Paul Bachem.
Ms. Raskins is lame. She complains about being overworked and understaffed a lot. How many animals could there be in Wiggins, Population 24?
The Pony Pals have to take care of White Feathers themselves. Laaame.
White Feathers almost chokes to death on some food because of some fishing line. And she lets Lulu cut it off her. THIS IS NOT TYPICAL SWAN BEHAVIOR.
Lulu has such a connection with animals. Not so much with people.
Actually, that's true of me, too.
First there were four swan babies. Then there were three.
ROFL.
Anna thinks Slowpoke is lost forever. Lulu reprimands her friend for being such a pessimist.
Actually, Lulu, it's called realism.
"The Pony Pests are everywhere. Call the exterminator!"
Ha. Ha. Ha.
Oh dear, Tommy starts mimicking Anna. What a jerk. Wait, these boys are how old??
Uh oh. Mike agrees to be more careful with his fishing line, but Tommy refuses. Come on, Mike, convince your boyfriend to obey.
EW, Mike looks exactly like this kid I used to HATE in 6th grade.
They find Slowpoke. She was pretending to be a bump on a log. No lies.
The Pony Pals do these late night watch things quite often and never seem to get tired.
Lulu thinks of their adventure with White Feathers as a horror movie with some happy parts. Hopefully it will have a happy ending. Darn. I was looking for a gory ending.
LAME. They decide to make a sign about the swans, and assume that Mr. Kline will donate the supplies they need because they cost a lot of money and it's for a good cause. The Pony Pals, I've noticed, aren't exactly smart about money.
Anna: Where's your bad-boy buddy?
Mike: Stop saying Tommy's bad. You just don't know him like I do. He's a great guy.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAY WHEN YOU'RE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP! MIKE IS GAY FOR TOMMY!
They suspect Tommy of killing the male swan!! :O
It wasn't him. But the Pony Pals want to assume it was. Because they're prejudiced.
Everyone surrounds the swans and sings "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" to them. LOL. Then the book ends with the typical thanking of the ponies. "Thank you. Thank you for saving the swans." How redundant.
That one wasn't as good as "The Magic Pony", where Mike is even gayer for Tommy, Rema straightens her hair, and Anna decides to be an actress. What drama. Oh, and we learn the real reason behind Mr. and Mrs. Lacey's divorce!!
Plot: Lulu and Snow White are riding with their friends by Lake Appamapog when they find swan feathers. Lulu is obsessed with swans, so they look around to see if they can find any, and lo and behold, there they are, out on the lake! The Pony Pals name the swan and her three cygnets stupid things and admire the beautiful scene for a million years.
Then Mr. Kline comes by in his truck and tells them about the swan's mate, which was shot with a bow and arrow last week. He also instructs them to warn people not to leave their fishing line lying around, as it could kill the swans.
The Pony Pals go out and bother Tommy, because he likes to fish.
The next day, the Pony Pals go to visit the swans again...and find Friendly and Bottom Up, two of the cygnets, all by themselves!! Where are White Feathers and Slowpoke? White Feathers would never leave her babies by themselves!
They put the two babies in a box and take them to the animal shelter.
Later, they find White Feathers tangled up in fishing line. Curse you, Tommy Rand. They send her to the animal ER, too.
White Feathers is reunited with her babies and slowly recovers, but they still can't find Slowpoke! Hm, maybe she died. But the Pony Pals are convinced the cygnet is still alive.
She is. Back to her mother she goes.
After White Feathers recovers, they take the swans back to the lake and put up a sign warning people not to leave their fishing line lying around. Everyone gathers to watch the swans frolic in the water. Joyous days.
More notes:
The copy the library gave me was a hardcover. Seriously, a hardcover Pony Pals! Ghettofabulous.
I hate that bad behavior is written off as "curiosity".
How descriptive Pam. "Swans are really beautiful and big."
"The babies are adorable, but they're brown, not white." Kind of like 101 Dalmations. "WHERE ARE THE SPOTS?"
Uh oh, these swans don't have a father. Irresponsible swan fathers, never pay child support.
Lulu: *looking at the mother swan* White Feathers. She's White Feathers.
Pam: How do you know her name?
Lulu: It just popped into my head.
Anna: It's a perfect name for her.
Hm, maybe because she has WHITE FEATHERS.
Ugh. Lulu sang to some swans in England and they started dancing. Like a ballet. Ha. Swan Lake. Okaaay, enough of that.
They sing, "Make New Friends, but Keep the Old." THAT'S A GIRL SCOUTS SONG!
They name the babies Friendly, Slowpoke, and Bottom Up (because she resembles a shot glass).
ROFL. I love how blunt Mr. Kline is.
Anna: I wonder where he is now.
Mr. Kline: The male was killed last week.
Pam: That's so awful.
Lulu: How was he killed?
Mr. Kline: He was shot with a bow and arrow. His mate was very upset.
They should try to solve the mystery of this swan's murder. Like on "Monk".
OMG!!!
Mr. Kline: There were four cygnets the last time I was here. I guess one of them didn't make it.
Lulu: Was the cygnet shot with a bow and arrow, too?
Mr. Kline: I don't think so. I bet a snapping turtle got it. They go after cygnets and goslings. Or a hawk could have swooped down and taken it.
I love how he's casually chatting about death with 10-year-old girls!! This is hilarious!
Tommy: Let's go, Mike.
Mike: Sure. We're out of here, buddy.
Buddy? They're so gay together. Or at least Mike likes Tommy, like Dumbledore liked Gellert.
Ooh, the Pony Pals get in a fight with those rowdy boys.
Tommy: The BORING Pony Pests!
Anna: The DUMB, RUDE Bike Buddies!
Oh dear, this is getting heated.
They eat grilled-cheese-and-TOMATO sandwiches. This is an improvement. At least they're getting their vegetables.
Snow White gets caught in some fishing line. Heh.
How random. Friendly and Bottom Up pop out of nowhere.
Lulu is the best detective. Acorn is the best pony detective. They should work together.
That's seriously how sentences go in this book.
Dang, White Feathers has fish hooks stuck in her body. Ouch.
Pam isn't the best problem solver. "If we cut the fishing line, she could swim away with the hooks. If we take out the hooks, she could bleed."
How about you take her to the ANIMAL HOSPITAL.
I find it hard to believe that Ms. Raskins is the only one working at the shelter right now. Take a break and save the swan. "No, I'm busy, you irresponsible 10-year-olds need to bring it to me yourselves."
They enlist the help of Mr. Kline.
Whatever. This swan would be attacking them. Swans are MEAN. But White Feathers sits calmly while they remove pieces of metal from her flesh.
Whoa, since when is Mr. Kline a fireman? He owns a hardware store!
"We don't want to frighten her by bringing her indoors. There's a hawk in the examining room."
HA. That could end badly.
In the picture, there are THREE babies, but in the story, one is still missing. Way to go, Paul Bachem.
Ms. Raskins is lame. She complains about being overworked and understaffed a lot. How many animals could there be in Wiggins, Population 24?
The Pony Pals have to take care of White Feathers themselves. Laaame.
White Feathers almost chokes to death on some food because of some fishing line. And she lets Lulu cut it off her. THIS IS NOT TYPICAL SWAN BEHAVIOR.
Lulu has such a connection with animals. Not so much with people.
Actually, that's true of me, too.
First there were four swan babies. Then there were three.
ROFL.
Anna thinks Slowpoke is lost forever. Lulu reprimands her friend for being such a pessimist.
Actually, Lulu, it's called realism.
"The Pony Pests are everywhere. Call the exterminator!"
Ha. Ha. Ha.
Oh dear, Tommy starts mimicking Anna. What a jerk. Wait, these boys are how old??
Uh oh. Mike agrees to be more careful with his fishing line, but Tommy refuses. Come on, Mike, convince your boyfriend to obey.
EW, Mike looks exactly like this kid I used to HATE in 6th grade.
They find Slowpoke. She was pretending to be a bump on a log. No lies.
The Pony Pals do these late night watch things quite often and never seem to get tired.
Lulu thinks of their adventure with White Feathers as a horror movie with some happy parts. Hopefully it will have a happy ending. Darn. I was looking for a gory ending.
LAME. They decide to make a sign about the swans, and assume that Mr. Kline will donate the supplies they need because they cost a lot of money and it's for a good cause. The Pony Pals, I've noticed, aren't exactly smart about money.
Anna: Where's your bad-boy buddy?
Mike: Stop saying Tommy's bad. You just don't know him like I do. He's a great guy.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAY WHEN YOU'RE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP! MIKE IS GAY FOR TOMMY!
They suspect Tommy of killing the male swan!! :O
It wasn't him. But the Pony Pals want to assume it was. Because they're prejudiced.
Everyone surrounds the swans and sings "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" to them. LOL. Then the book ends with the typical thanking of the ponies. "Thank you. Thank you for saving the swans." How redundant.
That one wasn't as good as "The Magic Pony", where Mike is even gayer for Tommy, Rema straightens her hair, and Anna decides to be an actress. What drama. Oh, and we learn the real reason behind Mr. and Mrs. Lacey's divorce!!
Saturday, January 12, 2008
You are not allowed to feel anger towards a disabled person, or Pony Pals #32: He's My Pony!
The description of this book on krl.org is a little off:
A handicapped girl forms a special bond with a gentle horse.
They forgot to add: The horse's jealous owner throws a hissy fit. Horse isn't the right term, however. Acorn is a pony.
Plot: It's summer again and the Pony Pals are going to be in another parade, seeing as the townspeople can't get enough of them. Things don't remain perfect forever, though. Christine, Anna's neighbor's niece, is visiting her aunt and becomes good friends with the Pony Pals. She loves ponies, is a good artist, and has cerebral palsy, but is afraid of riding horses. Anna should be best friends with her, but Christine falls madly in love with Acorn, as young blonde girls are wont to do in this series, making Anna super jealous.
Then Christine asks if she could take riding lessons on Acorn, and the Pony Pals readily agree, kind of forgetting ANNA IS THE ONE WHO OWNS ACORN.
Then Christine thinks up an idea for the fair/parade: a face painting booth! She starts practicing on local children and her ideas are SOOO much better than Anna's! Anna gets jealous and runs away one Acorn, even though she is worried that he might like Christine more than he likes her.
The Pony Pals come after her and convince her that Acorn loves her, bla bla bla, and then tell her that Christine's "great" ideas came from a book! Anna apologizes to Christine and the other girl accepts. They continue her lessons on Acorn.
Anna comes up with a great nonselfish idea: why not let Christine display her new riding talents in the parade...on Acorn?? She has Mike Lacey help her out, and Christine rides in the parade. Yay.
More notes:
I seriously marked like every page in this book. There's 90 PAGES!
OMG, JUST SAY BAY!!! It's always "brown-and-black", "brown-and-black". DUDE! HE'S BAY!
Dang, Christine is a really good artist. Compared to Anna, anyway.
Christine isn't all awkward about her disability and she's really nice. I like her.
The phrase "smacked her lips" always throws me off. I don't really get it.
AGH I hate people who are all, "Oh, she's disabled, she probably couldn't do that," and it's something like playing tag.
Pam: Anna's mother owns Off-Main Diner. It's the best diner in town.
Anna: It's the only diner in town.
Finally. Those girls needed a reality check.
Mrs. Crandal: I'll bring Daisy out.
Pam: Daisy is my mother's best school pony for beginners.
Daisy is your mother's only pony.
Pam: When a pony or horse is blond, it's called a palomino.
Anna: A Pony Pal palomino.
Laaame.
Daisy attacks Christine. Way to go.
The picture is so stupid. Daisy is humongous, Christine is floating in mid air, and Anna looks shocked like she should help her, but it is looking at something off to the side. Look up in the sky, it's a bird! It's a plane! It's Christine being attacked by a crazy Shetland pony, Anna! Get with the program!
Quizzes and guessing games are completely different things.
Oh no, Acorn did a trick for Christine without Anna's signal!
Paul Bachem's pictures look like crap, as usual.
Pam: My mother will put a special girth on Acorn. It has handles.
Yes, Pam. It's called a surcingle. If you were really such a horse expert, you'd know that.
Acorn does a new trick for Christine! Oooowned!
Anna is REALLY jealous, so she's like, "Acorn, get away from Christine. It's time for your, um, bath."
Jack and Jill are 6 again.
Whoa, the twins start talking to Christine about her walker and how beautiful it is.
Mike: Hi.
Anna: What are you doing here?
Mike: I was trying to catch up with you. And I did. I could have beaten you.
What is with boys and their competitiveness?
There's a picture of Rosalie running up to Anna WITH BROWN HAIR (she's so blonde!!), and all the Pony Pals look shocked/disgusted. ??? I thought they loved little kids?
Aw, Anna feels inferior. This is way depressing.
Mrs. Crandal: Okay. Acorn won't move until you tell him to.
Christine: How do I tell him?
Mrs. Crandal: Sit tall, make a clicking sound, and say, 'Move on.'
Squeezing lightly with your knees works, too.
They're supposed to be riding in a circle, but Christine is riding on the inside and Lulu and Pam keep passing her. So much for riding safety.
"I wish Christinewasn't here. I wish we were just the Pony Pals."
Doesn't Anna feel this anytime someone infiltrates their little group/joins their cult?
HOLY CRAP. Enough with the BROWNIES.
Anna is mean to Pam. I don't like Pam, so I'm not exactly objecting.
Okay, Christine's designs are really hideous. Her clown face is more of a drag queen.
Yeah, running out of the diner and riding away will give you the melodramatic edge you're going for, Anna.
Mike Lacey just randomly starts following her.
WHOA: Anna admits she's a horrible, selfish person. Whaaaaat? No way! Pam never admits she's wrong until someone else apologizes; Lulu is never wrong (in her own mind); but Anna's like, "Yeah, I suck." Go Anna!
Anna: Mike saw me crying. He better not tell Tommy.
Like he would.... "Dude, I totally saw that Anna girl crying!" "Aw, sweet, man! High five! Let's go pester her!" "Right on!"
Anna: Acorn likes Chris better than me.
Lulu: No, he doesn't. Acorn is friendly. That's the kind of pony he is.
That's the response jealous girlfriends get, too.
Oh, it turns out Christine is just a little plagiarist! Actually, not really. That's what face painting books are for.
Anna decides to apologize on her own! Woo!
Christine apologizes for keeping the book a secret. She thought maybe her ideas wouldn't be as good as Anna's. Are you kidding? Have you SEEN Anna's drawings?
"Christine drew a face. Anna painted the black parts of the vampire face. Christine did the red parts. She liked painting blood."
That sounds kind of creepy.
They have a drag queen clown, a passable lion, and a hippie child? The conservative parents of Wiggins would never go for that!
They draw something that looks like a monkey, but I think it's supposed to be a dragon.
No ways, Mike helps Anna out! He gets the surcingle for her so it's ready for the parade. Aww, I love Mike.
Anna: *face painting* Now you are a perfect rainbow.
Little boy: Wow! I'm never going to wash my face again!
You're a boy, so you probably never will.
Aw, Acorn does the tricks for Anna without a signal at the very end. How sweet.
I sort of liked that one. Not really. BEST MADDIE FINN EVER! CAN'T WAIT!
A handicapped girl forms a special bond with a gentle horse.
They forgot to add: The horse's jealous owner throws a hissy fit. Horse isn't the right term, however. Acorn is a pony.
Plot: It's summer again and the Pony Pals are going to be in another parade, seeing as the townspeople can't get enough of them. Things don't remain perfect forever, though. Christine, Anna's neighbor's niece, is visiting her aunt and becomes good friends with the Pony Pals. She loves ponies, is a good artist, and has cerebral palsy, but is afraid of riding horses. Anna should be best friends with her, but Christine falls madly in love with Acorn, as young blonde girls are wont to do in this series, making Anna super jealous.
Then Christine asks if she could take riding lessons on Acorn, and the Pony Pals readily agree, kind of forgetting ANNA IS THE ONE WHO OWNS ACORN.
Then Christine thinks up an idea for the fair/parade: a face painting booth! She starts practicing on local children and her ideas are SOOO much better than Anna's! Anna gets jealous and runs away one Acorn, even though she is worried that he might like Christine more than he likes her.
The Pony Pals come after her and convince her that Acorn loves her, bla bla bla, and then tell her that Christine's "great" ideas came from a book! Anna apologizes to Christine and the other girl accepts. They continue her lessons on Acorn.
Anna comes up with a great nonselfish idea: why not let Christine display her new riding talents in the parade...on Acorn?? She has Mike Lacey help her out, and Christine rides in the parade. Yay.
More notes:
I seriously marked like every page in this book. There's 90 PAGES!
OMG, JUST SAY BAY!!! It's always "brown-and-black", "brown-and-black". DUDE! HE'S BAY!
Dang, Christine is a really good artist. Compared to Anna, anyway.
Christine isn't all awkward about her disability and she's really nice. I like her.
The phrase "smacked her lips" always throws me off. I don't really get it.
AGH I hate people who are all, "Oh, she's disabled, she probably couldn't do that," and it's something like playing tag.
Pam: Anna's mother owns Off-Main Diner. It's the best diner in town.
Anna: It's the only diner in town.
Finally. Those girls needed a reality check.
Mrs. Crandal: I'll bring Daisy out.
Pam: Daisy is my mother's best school pony for beginners.
Daisy is your mother's only pony.
Pam: When a pony or horse is blond, it's called a palomino.
Anna: A Pony Pal palomino.
Laaame.
Daisy attacks Christine. Way to go.
The picture is so stupid. Daisy is humongous, Christine is floating in mid air, and Anna looks shocked like she should help her, but it is looking at something off to the side. Look up in the sky, it's a bird! It's a plane! It's Christine being attacked by a crazy Shetland pony, Anna! Get with the program!
Quizzes and guessing games are completely different things.
Oh no, Acorn did a trick for Christine without Anna's signal!
Paul Bachem's pictures look like crap, as usual.
Pam: My mother will put a special girth on Acorn. It has handles.
Yes, Pam. It's called a surcingle. If you were really such a horse expert, you'd know that.
Acorn does a new trick for Christine! Oooowned!
Anna is REALLY jealous, so she's like, "Acorn, get away from Christine. It's time for your, um, bath."
Jack and Jill are 6 again.
Whoa, the twins start talking to Christine about her walker and how beautiful it is.
Mike: Hi.
Anna: What are you doing here?
Mike: I was trying to catch up with you. And I did. I could have beaten you.
What is with boys and their competitiveness?
There's a picture of Rosalie running up to Anna WITH BROWN HAIR (she's so blonde!!), and all the Pony Pals look shocked/disgusted. ??? I thought they loved little kids?
Aw, Anna feels inferior. This is way depressing.
Mrs. Crandal: Okay. Acorn won't move until you tell him to.
Christine: How do I tell him?
Mrs. Crandal: Sit tall, make a clicking sound, and say, 'Move on.'
Squeezing lightly with your knees works, too.
They're supposed to be riding in a circle, but Christine is riding on the inside and Lulu and Pam keep passing her. So much for riding safety.
"I wish Christinewasn't here. I wish we were just the Pony Pals."
Doesn't Anna feel this anytime someone infiltrates their little group/joins their cult?
HOLY CRAP. Enough with the BROWNIES.
Anna is mean to Pam. I don't like Pam, so I'm not exactly objecting.
Okay, Christine's designs are really hideous. Her clown face is more of a drag queen.
Yeah, running out of the diner and riding away will give you the melodramatic edge you're going for, Anna.
Mike Lacey just randomly starts following her.
WHOA: Anna admits she's a horrible, selfish person. Whaaaaat? No way! Pam never admits she's wrong until someone else apologizes; Lulu is never wrong (in her own mind); but Anna's like, "Yeah, I suck." Go Anna!
Anna: Mike saw me crying. He better not tell Tommy.
Like he would.... "Dude, I totally saw that Anna girl crying!" "Aw, sweet, man! High five! Let's go pester her!" "Right on!"
Anna: Acorn likes Chris better than me.
Lulu: No, he doesn't. Acorn is friendly. That's the kind of pony he is.
That's the response jealous girlfriends get, too.
Oh, it turns out Christine is just a little plagiarist! Actually, not really. That's what face painting books are for.
Anna decides to apologize on her own! Woo!
Christine apologizes for keeping the book a secret. She thought maybe her ideas wouldn't be as good as Anna's. Are you kidding? Have you SEEN Anna's drawings?
"Christine drew a face. Anna painted the black parts of the vampire face. Christine did the red parts. She liked painting blood."
That sounds kind of creepy.
They have a drag queen clown, a passable lion, and a hippie child? The conservative parents of Wiggins would never go for that!
They draw something that looks like a monkey, but I think it's supposed to be a dragon.
No ways, Mike helps Anna out! He gets the surcingle for her so it's ready for the parade. Aww, I love Mike.
Anna: *face painting* Now you are a perfect rainbow.
Little boy: Wow! I'm never going to wash my face again!
You're a boy, so you probably never will.
Aw, Acorn does the tricks for Anna without a signal at the very end. How sweet.
I sort of liked that one. Not really. BEST MADDIE FINN EVER! CAN'T WAIT!
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Ghost ponies are entirely probable, or Pony Pals #31: Ponies From the Past
I love how this is the only cover where Lulu actually looks 10-years-old.
Plot: Lulu and Snow White are out riding with their pals Anna and Acorn when Snow White finds a jar inside a hollow log. Curious, Lulu looks inside and finds a later from 1918 written from one young girl (AW) to another (LS). In the letter, AW talks about ponies and boys and things that the Pony Pals often talk about. Lulu feels that AW and LS are kindred spirits and takes the letter to Pam. Pam, being Pam, feels like they should further explore this "mystery": Who is LS? Who is AW? Why didn't LS ever receive the letter?
They go to the Historical Society and look up people with the initials "AW" or "LS" that were born in 1908. How do they know when the girls were born? They could have been 18, not 10!
It turns out "LS", or Lydia Simpson-Eastman, is still alive and lives in a nursing home, so the Pony Pals go visit her. She tells them all about "AW" (or Abigail Wiggins-Stevenson) and herself and their ponies, Bangles and Wildflower. The Pony Pals are shocked to discover that Lydia is Mike Lacey's great grandmother! :O
Bla bla bla, a bunch of boring stuff where they look at some more old letters. Moving on.
Abigail's letters mentioned a secret field, so the Pony Pals seek out the field and go on a ride with Mrs. Wiggins and Lydia in the pony cart and Mike on his bike. They feel like the spirits of Bangles, Wildflower, and Abigail are with them. Lame.
More notes:
Aaargh. Snow White refuses to jump over the fallen tree. She's not curious, just badly behaved.
Lulu won't open the jar until Pam shows up. I guess she learned after that "Sell the pony to Pam's mom" stunt.
Pam doesn't want to open the jar. "We shouldn't read someone else's mail." You should if they're DEAD.
Abigail and Lydia were pestered by boys named George O. and Edwin P. *gasp* JUST LIKE THE PONY PALS!!
"Even John doesn't know about our secret riding field, where girls and ponies are free."
No comment.
Abigail included a really awful drawing with the letter.
What kind of name is Bangles?
Ew, Tommy is blonde in one of the pictures. Mike is a hottie, lol. The Pony Pals are all wearing mom jeans and baggy shirts.
Acorn attacks Tommy.
Anna: Let's go. We've go better things to do than be insulted by Tommy the Teddy Bear and his sidekick, Mike.
Ooooh. Not.
Hm, AW, who lives in Wiggins. Could her last name be Wiggins?
FOR THE LOVE OF DONUTS, they're eating brownies AGAIN!
Pam is an idiot.
Ms. Wiggins: A is for Abigail. My great-aunt Abigail Stevenson. My grandfather was John Wiggins, Abigail's brother. He must be the one who put the letter in the three.
Pam: AW can't be Abigail Stevenson. We're looking for AW, not AS.
Duh, Pam, she got MARRIED.
Ugh. "Maybe the ghosts of the ponies are still in the field."
Oh, gotcha, they find Abigail's birthdate in the family Bible. I'm surprised they even are allowed to MENTION the Bible in this book.
Wait, that doesn't mean Lydia was born in the same year!
Ha ha. Lydia Simpson and Lulu Sanders. SAME INITIALS!
Okay, they look at people born in 1908, but it's not in alphabetical order?? That doesn't make sense to me.
Yeah, let's go visit an old woman and talk about the death of her baby brother!
Oh no, she's Mike's great-grandmother!! She's all, "He's a WONDERFUL boy. You would LOVE him."
Pony Pals: Um, not so much....
Bangles was a Shetland, too. Hm, how interesting.
Laaame. "Hey, here come the Pony Pals! Quick! Call the exterminator!"
Owned, Mike is all, "DON'T MAKE FUN OF MY GRANDMA, TOMMY!"
Mike and the Pony Pals dress in "silly" hats and look at the letters together.
Okay, I know what a false bottom is, but as soon as I read that I started laughing. So immature, I know. Lol.
Mike is named after his great-grandma's baby brother who died of influenza in 1908. Nice.
Lame. The Pony Pals are all, "Mike, you're George O. and Tommy is Edwin P. You're so much cooler without Edwin, I mean, TOMMY."
Lulu: Do you remember Lydia's dream? The one she wrote about in the letter?
Pam: She and Abigail were riding with three other girls and their ponies.
Lulu: Three girls like us.
Creepy....
Ew, there's a picture of Abigail and Lydia and their ponies. The ponies are hideous (as usual), but Lydia looks sort of like Lulu, only uglier, and Abigail looks like Anne of Green Gables, and it seems like she's about to cry.
Don't worry, they're nice ghosts! Yeah, right.
They keep quoting the letter and talking in creepy voices!
WHAT KIND OF LAST SENTENCES ARE THESE?
"'Thank you,' she whispered in her pony's ear. 'Thank you for leading us to the past.'"
That was too weird for me.
I have an Avalon to finish, the last one in the series *gasp*! Don't worry, there's a whole nother Avalon series, which I will read. And then we have more Pony Pals!
I still need to finish my Pony Pal collage, seriously.
Plot: Lulu and Snow White are out riding with their pals Anna and Acorn when Snow White finds a jar inside a hollow log. Curious, Lulu looks inside and finds a later from 1918 written from one young girl (AW) to another (LS). In the letter, AW talks about ponies and boys and things that the Pony Pals often talk about. Lulu feels that AW and LS are kindred spirits and takes the letter to Pam. Pam, being Pam, feels like they should further explore this "mystery": Who is LS? Who is AW? Why didn't LS ever receive the letter?
They go to the Historical Society and look up people with the initials "AW" or "LS" that were born in 1908. How do they know when the girls were born? They could have been 18, not 10!
It turns out "LS", or Lydia Simpson-Eastman, is still alive and lives in a nursing home, so the Pony Pals go visit her. She tells them all about "AW" (or Abigail Wiggins-Stevenson) and herself and their ponies, Bangles and Wildflower. The Pony Pals are shocked to discover that Lydia is Mike Lacey's great grandmother! :O
Bla bla bla, a bunch of boring stuff where they look at some more old letters. Moving on.
Abigail's letters mentioned a secret field, so the Pony Pals seek out the field and go on a ride with Mrs. Wiggins and Lydia in the pony cart and Mike on his bike. They feel like the spirits of Bangles, Wildflower, and Abigail are with them. Lame.
More notes:
Aaargh. Snow White refuses to jump over the fallen tree. She's not curious, just badly behaved.
Lulu won't open the jar until Pam shows up. I guess she learned after that "Sell the pony to Pam's mom" stunt.
Pam doesn't want to open the jar. "We shouldn't read someone else's mail." You should if they're DEAD.
Abigail and Lydia were pestered by boys named George O. and Edwin P. *gasp* JUST LIKE THE PONY PALS!!
"Even John doesn't know about our secret riding field, where girls and ponies are free."
No comment.
Abigail included a really awful drawing with the letter.
What kind of name is Bangles?
Ew, Tommy is blonde in one of the pictures. Mike is a hottie, lol. The Pony Pals are all wearing mom jeans and baggy shirts.
Acorn attacks Tommy.
Anna: Let's go. We've go better things to do than be insulted by Tommy the Teddy Bear and his sidekick, Mike.
Ooooh. Not.
Hm, AW, who lives in Wiggins. Could her last name be Wiggins?
FOR THE LOVE OF DONUTS, they're eating brownies AGAIN!
Pam is an idiot.
Ms. Wiggins: A is for Abigail. My great-aunt Abigail Stevenson. My grandfather was John Wiggins, Abigail's brother. He must be the one who put the letter in the three.
Pam: AW can't be Abigail Stevenson. We're looking for AW, not AS.
Duh, Pam, she got MARRIED.
Ugh. "Maybe the ghosts of the ponies are still in the field."
Oh, gotcha, they find Abigail's birthdate in the family Bible. I'm surprised they even are allowed to MENTION the Bible in this book.
Wait, that doesn't mean Lydia was born in the same year!
Ha ha. Lydia Simpson and Lulu Sanders. SAME INITIALS!
Okay, they look at people born in 1908, but it's not in alphabetical order?? That doesn't make sense to me.
Yeah, let's go visit an old woman and talk about the death of her baby brother!
Oh no, she's Mike's great-grandmother!! She's all, "He's a WONDERFUL boy. You would LOVE him."
Pony Pals: Um, not so much....
Bangles was a Shetland, too. Hm, how interesting.
Laaame. "Hey, here come the Pony Pals! Quick! Call the exterminator!"
Owned, Mike is all, "DON'T MAKE FUN OF MY GRANDMA, TOMMY!"
Mike and the Pony Pals dress in "silly" hats and look at the letters together.
Okay, I know what a false bottom is, but as soon as I read that I started laughing. So immature, I know. Lol.
Mike is named after his great-grandma's baby brother who died of influenza in 1908. Nice.
Lame. The Pony Pals are all, "Mike, you're George O. and Tommy is Edwin P. You're so much cooler without Edwin, I mean, TOMMY."
Lulu: Do you remember Lydia's dream? The one she wrote about in the letter?
Pam: She and Abigail were riding with three other girls and their ponies.
Lulu: Three girls like us.
Creepy....
Ew, there's a picture of Abigail and Lydia and their ponies. The ponies are hideous (as usual), but Lydia looks sort of like Lulu, only uglier, and Abigail looks like Anne of Green Gables, and it seems like she's about to cry.
Don't worry, they're nice ghosts! Yeah, right.
They keep quoting the letter and talking in creepy voices!
WHAT KIND OF LAST SENTENCES ARE THESE?
"'Thank you,' she whispered in her pony's ear. 'Thank you for leading us to the past.'"
That was too weird for me.
I have an Avalon to finish, the last one in the series *gasp*! Don't worry, there's a whole nother Avalon series, which I will read. And then we have more Pony Pals!
I still need to finish my Pony Pal collage, seriously.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Mischief implies abuse, or Pony Pals #30: Pony-4-Sale
Yay, I finished my 2007 playlist! This isn't the most flattering picture of Pam. It's as if they WANTED her to look like a pig. Cloud looks fake. No pony is that skinny.
Plot: Pam and Lightning are riding around, as usual, when she stumbles across a birthday party featuring Maggie the Magician. Since it's obviously none of her business, she goes to check it out. What she sees is a very mean magician and a very neglected pony. She finds out from Maggie that Cloud, the pony, will soon be sold for the meat price if no one else buys him.
Instead of calling PETA or the Humane Society or any other animal rights organization like a normal person, Pam calls on the Pony Pals and they send Anna, who is "the best actress", to pretend like she is interested in buying Cloud, in order to lengthen his life. Then they all go back to Pam's house and write a letter to Mr. O'Connor, the Irish guy who owns Echo Farms, asking about Cloud.
Next, they send Lulu, who finds out that Cloud is a Connemara (just like Lightning), was originally from Echo Farm (where Lightning is also from), and throws his riders; she finds this last part out from experience, however, as Pam convinces her to ride Cloud and the skinny little nag throws her. This makes Lulu furious at Pam for letting her ride a "dangerous animal", who insists Lulu is just a bad rider.
Uh oh. It seems the Pony Pals are having a fight.
Finally, Lulu flees when Pam refuses to apologize.
Hark! A reply from Mr. O'Connor! He says he doesn't remember Maggie the Musician, but he does remember selling Cloud to a boy named Sandy Young, including in the e-mail Sandy's new phone number. What a coincidence, he lives in Wiggins!
Instead of calling, they ask Dr. Crandal if he ever had a patient named Cloud. No go.
Pam complains a lot about Lulu and insists that "if she really cared about Pony Pal problems, she'd be there".
Lulu does come back, armed with several good ideas of how to find Sandy. She and Pam continue to ignore each other, making Anna increasingly anxious. Finally, Anna explodes and tells the two of them that their fight is stupid and that they should get over themselves. Pam apologizes...after Lulu does. Loser.
They use a cool little trick on the internet to find Sandy's house, ride on over there, and tell him about his old pony. Sandy flips out, grabs some money from the bank, and promptly buys Cloud back from Maggie the Magician. His mother scolds Maggie for being abusive. The Pony Pals conclude that they will be friends forever. The Pony Pals, not Maggie and Mrs. Young.
More notes:
Maggie: What do we say to make magic happen?
Children: Ab-ra-ca-da-bra and wow-wow kaaa-zoo!
Even as a child, I'd have a hard time believing that.
Maggie makes a bird fly out of her hat. Pam is all, "That's not very nice for the bird." Suck it up, Pam.
:O Maggie squirts Cloud with water! ABUSE! ABUSE!
The twins are still 5??
Pam bursts into tears when she hears Maggie's plan to sell Cloud.
THEY'RE HAVING GRILLED-CHEESE SANDWHICHES AGAIN!!! I swear, that's all they eat! Spaghetti, grilled-cheese, and brownies! Actually, that's all I ever eat, so hey.
They think Anna is the best actress. And yet her pony starred in a movie, not her.
"'Okay,' agreed Anna. 'How's this?' Anna put on a sweet smile. 'Hello, Ms. Sullivan. My mommy and daddy said I could have a pony. I heard you have a pony for sale. Can I see it?'"
Yeah, that's believable.
This is how Pam and Anna became friends:
Pam: You can ride my pony. My mommy can teach you how.
They've been together ever since.
It's like there are only 4 pony breeds: Connemaras, Shetlands, Welsh ponies, and Morgans, even though MORGANS AREN'T PONIES!
What a coincidence, Lightning and Cloud are from the same place! Because there's only one place to get Connemaras, didn't you know?
Omg. Guess what they're having at Pam's house for dinner.
Spaghetti
and
meatballs.
Lulu asks Mrs. Crandal if she'd be interested in buying Cloud. The Pony Pals get mad because she "broke a Pony Pal rule". The following ensues.
Pam: Why did you ask my mother to buy Cloud?
Lulu: I thought it was a good idea.
Anna: You should have talked to Pam and me about it first. It's a Pony Pal rule.
First of all, it's "Pam and I", and that's a stupid rule. "I'm going to the bathroom, guys." "No, I think it would be best if you didn't." "But I need to." "Oh dear, this calls for 3 ideas." Please continue.
Pam: You asked her at the worst time. My mother needs someone to take care of ponies, not another pony to take care of.
Lulu: It's not big deal. She said no.
Yaay Lulu.
Pam is still all, "BREAKING A PONY PAL RULE IS A BIG DEAL!!!"
Aargh, just call PETA!!!! What's with this sneaking around???
Cloud throws Lulu while Pam screams from the sidelines, "REIN HIM IN! REIN HIM IN!"
You suck, Pam.
Maggie: You pulled too hard on his mouth. Maybe you haven't ridden so much, after all.
Pam: She hasn't.
Omg, Pam is way awful!!!
Lulu: Pam should know if a pony is safe to ride. I trusted her.
Pam: And I trusted that you know how to ride.
Lulu: You're so smart about ponies. You knew it was dangerous for me to tget on Cloud and you let me do it! You care more about solving Pony Pal problems than you do about your Pony Pals.
So true. You've hit the nail on the proverbial head, Lulu. Pam's weak response:
Pam: Maybe you did pull too hard on his mouth!
Anna's not too helpful, either.
"This Pony Pal problem is more important than your little fight."
Cult behavior. This is classic cult behavior.
Lame. "A woman came out leading a Great Dane. She looked like she'd been crying. She smiled at Pam. 'Your father saved my Mitzy's life,' said the woman."
I can just see Dr. Crandal being all, "All in a day's work."
So stalker. Let's go to his house instead of calling him!!
Pam apologizes for being stupid...and Lulu apologizes for breaking a Pony Pal rule. If she hadn't, they probably would've flogged her. I don't think she should've apologized. Lulu, not Pam. I'm actually on her side for once.
Sandy used to live on a farm, but they had to sell it because it wasn't making enough money. That sounds JUST like the movie Acorn and Bette Fleming were in..."Megan's Last Ride" or whatever.
He had a cat named Toots..........
Ew, Sandy looks like Johnathan Taylor Thomas.
Pam prides herself in being a professional detective. Sandy OBVIOUSLY hasn't done much detective work. Whatever.
They go back to the diner...and eat some brownies.
Wait a minute...Sandy wants to buy Cloud back...but he lives in an APARTMENT. And if his parents are really as poor as he says, why did they give him the money they made from selling Cloud??
Anna fixes that problem. It's sort of a bribe, too: Sandy will work for Mrs. Crandal in exchange for boarding Cloud. Nice.
WHAT IS WITH PEOPLE AND RIDING??
Anna: What if Maggie has ruined Cloud for riding? What if he never lets you ride him again?
Sandy: I don't care. I still want to save Cloud.
Well, DUH! It's not like you would be, "Oh, in that case, let's just let him DIE!"
"Sandy kissed Cloud's cheek. Cloud pulled away from him.
'Touch him someplace else,' Pam told Sandy."
:O
Whaaat? Ponies have wolf teeth? Confused. I'm looking that up.
Lulu: And we can make Cloud a warm mash. We'll make it extra soft and delicious.
That struck me as hilariously funny.
"'Lightning and Cloud are friends forever,' Lulu whispered in Pam's ear. 'Just like us.'"
Even after your fight? And Pam's controlling behavior? And the FLOGGING?
An Avalon about unicorns is next...on Kid's WB. Only it's not the WB anymore. It's my Q2, or whatever.
Plot: Pam and Lightning are riding around, as usual, when she stumbles across a birthday party featuring Maggie the Magician. Since it's obviously none of her business, she goes to check it out. What she sees is a very mean magician and a very neglected pony. She finds out from Maggie that Cloud, the pony, will soon be sold for the meat price if no one else buys him.
Instead of calling PETA or the Humane Society or any other animal rights organization like a normal person, Pam calls on the Pony Pals and they send Anna, who is "the best actress", to pretend like she is interested in buying Cloud, in order to lengthen his life. Then they all go back to Pam's house and write a letter to Mr. O'Connor, the Irish guy who owns Echo Farms, asking about Cloud.
Next, they send Lulu, who finds out that Cloud is a Connemara (just like Lightning), was originally from Echo Farm (where Lightning is also from), and throws his riders; she finds this last part out from experience, however, as Pam convinces her to ride Cloud and the skinny little nag throws her. This makes Lulu furious at Pam for letting her ride a "dangerous animal", who insists Lulu is just a bad rider.
Uh oh. It seems the Pony Pals are having a fight.
Finally, Lulu flees when Pam refuses to apologize.
Hark! A reply from Mr. O'Connor! He says he doesn't remember Maggie the Musician, but he does remember selling Cloud to a boy named Sandy Young, including in the e-mail Sandy's new phone number. What a coincidence, he lives in Wiggins!
Instead of calling, they ask Dr. Crandal if he ever had a patient named Cloud. No go.
Pam complains a lot about Lulu and insists that "if she really cared about Pony Pal problems, she'd be there".
Lulu does come back, armed with several good ideas of how to find Sandy. She and Pam continue to ignore each other, making Anna increasingly anxious. Finally, Anna explodes and tells the two of them that their fight is stupid and that they should get over themselves. Pam apologizes...after Lulu does. Loser.
They use a cool little trick on the internet to find Sandy's house, ride on over there, and tell him about his old pony. Sandy flips out, grabs some money from the bank, and promptly buys Cloud back from Maggie the Magician. His mother scolds Maggie for being abusive. The Pony Pals conclude that they will be friends forever. The Pony Pals, not Maggie and Mrs. Young.
More notes:
Maggie: What do we say to make magic happen?
Children: Ab-ra-ca-da-bra and wow-wow kaaa-zoo!
Even as a child, I'd have a hard time believing that.
Maggie makes a bird fly out of her hat. Pam is all, "That's not very nice for the bird." Suck it up, Pam.
:O Maggie squirts Cloud with water! ABUSE! ABUSE!
The twins are still 5??
Pam bursts into tears when she hears Maggie's plan to sell Cloud.
THEY'RE HAVING GRILLED-CHEESE SANDWHICHES AGAIN!!! I swear, that's all they eat! Spaghetti, grilled-cheese, and brownies! Actually, that's all I ever eat, so hey.
They think Anna is the best actress. And yet her pony starred in a movie, not her.
"'Okay,' agreed Anna. 'How's this?' Anna put on a sweet smile. 'Hello, Ms. Sullivan. My mommy and daddy said I could have a pony. I heard you have a pony for sale. Can I see it?'"
Yeah, that's believable.
This is how Pam and Anna became friends:
Pam: You can ride my pony. My mommy can teach you how.
They've been together ever since.
It's like there are only 4 pony breeds: Connemaras, Shetlands, Welsh ponies, and Morgans, even though MORGANS AREN'T PONIES!
What a coincidence, Lightning and Cloud are from the same place! Because there's only one place to get Connemaras, didn't you know?
Omg. Guess what they're having at Pam's house for dinner.
Spaghetti
and
meatballs.
Lulu asks Mrs. Crandal if she'd be interested in buying Cloud. The Pony Pals get mad because she "broke a Pony Pal rule". The following ensues.
Pam: Why did you ask my mother to buy Cloud?
Lulu: I thought it was a good idea.
Anna: You should have talked to Pam and me about it first. It's a Pony Pal rule.
First of all, it's "Pam and I", and that's a stupid rule. "I'm going to the bathroom, guys." "No, I think it would be best if you didn't." "But I need to." "Oh dear, this calls for 3 ideas." Please continue.
Pam: You asked her at the worst time. My mother needs someone to take care of ponies, not another pony to take care of.
Lulu: It's not big deal. She said no.
Yaay Lulu.
Pam is still all, "BREAKING A PONY PAL RULE IS A BIG DEAL!!!"
Aargh, just call PETA!!!! What's with this sneaking around???
Cloud throws Lulu while Pam screams from the sidelines, "REIN HIM IN! REIN HIM IN!"
You suck, Pam.
Maggie: You pulled too hard on his mouth. Maybe you haven't ridden so much, after all.
Pam: She hasn't.
Omg, Pam is way awful!!!
Lulu: Pam should know if a pony is safe to ride. I trusted her.
Pam: And I trusted that you know how to ride.
Lulu: You're so smart about ponies. You knew it was dangerous for me to tget on Cloud and you let me do it! You care more about solving Pony Pal problems than you do about your Pony Pals.
So true. You've hit the nail on the proverbial head, Lulu. Pam's weak response:
Pam: Maybe you did pull too hard on his mouth!
Anna's not too helpful, either.
"This Pony Pal problem is more important than your little fight."
Cult behavior. This is classic cult behavior.
Lame. "A woman came out leading a Great Dane. She looked like she'd been crying. She smiled at Pam. 'Your father saved my Mitzy's life,' said the woman."
I can just see Dr. Crandal being all, "All in a day's work."
So stalker. Let's go to his house instead of calling him!!
Pam apologizes for being stupid...and Lulu apologizes for breaking a Pony Pal rule. If she hadn't, they probably would've flogged her. I don't think she should've apologized. Lulu, not Pam. I'm actually on her side for once.
Sandy used to live on a farm, but they had to sell it because it wasn't making enough money. That sounds JUST like the movie Acorn and Bette Fleming were in..."Megan's Last Ride" or whatever.
He had a cat named Toots..........
Ew, Sandy looks like Johnathan Taylor Thomas.
Pam prides herself in being a professional detective. Sandy OBVIOUSLY hasn't done much detective work. Whatever.
They go back to the diner...and eat some brownies.
Wait a minute...Sandy wants to buy Cloud back...but he lives in an APARTMENT. And if his parents are really as poor as he says, why did they give him the money they made from selling Cloud??
Anna fixes that problem. It's sort of a bribe, too: Sandy will work for Mrs. Crandal in exchange for boarding Cloud. Nice.
WHAT IS WITH PEOPLE AND RIDING??
Anna: What if Maggie has ruined Cloud for riding? What if he never lets you ride him again?
Sandy: I don't care. I still want to save Cloud.
Well, DUH! It's not like you would be, "Oh, in that case, let's just let him DIE!"
"Sandy kissed Cloud's cheek. Cloud pulled away from him.
'Touch him someplace else,' Pam told Sandy."
:O
Whaaat? Ponies have wolf teeth? Confused. I'm looking that up.
Lulu: And we can make Cloud a warm mash. We'll make it extra soft and delicious.
That struck me as hilariously funny.
"'Lightning and Cloud are friends forever,' Lulu whispered in Pam's ear. 'Just like us.'"
Even after your fight? And Pam's controlling behavior? And the FLOGGING?
An Avalon about unicorns is next...on Kid's WB. Only it's not the WB anymore. It's my Q2, or whatever.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Someone's lost in the woods...again, or Pony Pals #29: Lost and Found Pony
Why this picture is so huge, I have no idea.
Surprisingly, this is probably one of the best Pony Pals books I've ever read. It's not good or fun to read or exciting...but I didn't find anything to complain about for about...15 pages!!!
Plot: Mimi and Rosalie are annoying little tricksters; we all know that. One day, however, they go too far.
It starts when Rosalie catches the Pony Pals getting ready to go for a trail ride (they're neighbors, remember?), and runs and tells Mimi, who wants to come. Since Rosalie is a pushover and does everything Mimi says, she runs back and relays this message to the Pony Pals.
Remember, this book is about Anna, and Anna doesn't do that well with little kids, so she says yes, of course, but tells Rosalie that she and Mimi can NOT join them on the picnic.
So Rosalie goes and tells Mimi.
Who tells Mrs. Bell (the dimwitted babysitter) that the Pony Pals would love to take them on a picnic.
Mrs. Bell is overjoyed that Mimi has friends (ha) and packs a big picnic basket.
Lulu and Pam are a little POed.
All during the trail ride, Rosalie and Mimi are messing around on Tongo and being pests (yelling, screaming, existing, and talking to each other on walkie-talkies even when they are four feet away from each other). They even pretend to be lost in the woods! This is enough for the Pony Pals, so Anna tells them the story of the The Boy Who Cried Wolf, and the little kids don't get it. Now Anna is POed.
Suddenly, a storm starts and Tongo runs away. Then the brats call on the walkie-talkie and say that they ran into a cave and don't know where they are. The Pony Pals think they're getting tricked again, so they ignore them, until the girls start crying and insisting they're "not like the shepherd boy". All right then. So starts a quest to save the midgets.
Questing, questing, Acorn finds clues, Acorn runs away, Acorn finds Tongo, the girls find the cave, bla bla bla.
So at the cave, Anna insists on going in and finding the little girls. She goes in, gets them, they are safe, and neither Mimi nor Rosalie have rabies. And all is well.
More notes:
Rosalie has brown hair all of a sudden. Who lets a six-year-old dye their hair?
Aargh, it's like a Verizon commercial. "Can you hear me now? Good."
I don't find it strange that Mrs. Lacey won't buy Rosalie a pony when they're DIRT POOR AND LIVE IN AN APARTMENT!!!
Mrs. Bell is so gullible. She should NOT be babysitting those children.
Anna: Oh, I don't think they'll be mad.
Ha. I've spent enough time with Pam and Lulu to know that they WILL be mad.
Ha. Pam knows Mimi is full of crap.
Yeah, that's smart, Mimi. "I can ride with one hand!!"
Tongo bolts. Ha.
Anna flips out at Mimi. Lol.
Mimi: Where's my walkie-talkie?
Anna: Your walkie-talkie? You almost got killed. You have to hold on with two hands when you ride. Always.
Mimi: That was fun. It was a Pony Pal adventure.
I seriously think I would have slapped her by this time. Seriously. This girl is such a PILL.
Ha. Anna threatens to take her back home to get her to shut up.
Tongo is the lamest pony ever. He's scared of WATER.
Mimi and Rosalie have a walkie-talkie conversation. They're sitting a few feet away from each other the entire time. Yeah, they're six, all right.
ROSALIE STILL HAS BROWN HAIR! AND ALL THE PONIES LOOK LIKE CAMARGUES: ALL THE SAME!!!
Ew, and Rosalie has gross bangs.
Mimi: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Anna: To get to the other side.
Mimi: Wrong! The chicken crossed the road to see her friend.
Anna: Very funny.
Lulu: Very silly.
And Lulu is definitely an only child.
Omg, Rosalie and Mimi are joking about getting attacked by a bear. Mike is most likely not in Boy Scouts.
Ugh, Anna's going to tell them a parable to make them change their mind. IT WON'T WORK.
Great. Mimi justifies lying as "joking".
And now they're being attacked by a wolf.
Mimi: Ugh, they're so bossy.
Ha! Said Mimi.
Wait, Lulu is allowed to go off into the woods by herself, and the little kids aren't??? "DON'T GO OFF BY YOURSELF!" Yeah, right.
Anna lies about Tongo being missing. Oh, but she was just "joking".
Paul Bachem's drawings of Tongo always suck, but his Acorns in this book are really good.
Hmmm...Acorn is Anna's "wonderful pony hero".
You see how short that was!!!?? It must have been good. Coming up soon: Avalon #2: All That Glitters (probably my favorite book in the series, which means it's probably awful).
Some more chicken jokes that are funnier than Mimi's.
Surprisingly, this is probably one of the best Pony Pals books I've ever read. It's not good or fun to read or exciting...but I didn't find anything to complain about for about...15 pages!!!
Plot: Mimi and Rosalie are annoying little tricksters; we all know that. One day, however, they go too far.
It starts when Rosalie catches the Pony Pals getting ready to go for a trail ride (they're neighbors, remember?), and runs and tells Mimi, who wants to come. Since Rosalie is a pushover and does everything Mimi says, she runs back and relays this message to the Pony Pals.
Remember, this book is about Anna, and Anna doesn't do that well with little kids, so she says yes, of course, but tells Rosalie that she and Mimi can NOT join them on the picnic.
So Rosalie goes and tells Mimi.
Who tells Mrs. Bell (the dimwitted babysitter) that the Pony Pals would love to take them on a picnic.
Mrs. Bell is overjoyed that Mimi has friends (ha) and packs a big picnic basket.
Lulu and Pam are a little POed.
All during the trail ride, Rosalie and Mimi are messing around on Tongo and being pests (yelling, screaming, existing, and talking to each other on walkie-talkies even when they are four feet away from each other). They even pretend to be lost in the woods! This is enough for the Pony Pals, so Anna tells them the story of the The Boy Who Cried Wolf, and the little kids don't get it. Now Anna is POed.
Suddenly, a storm starts and Tongo runs away. Then the brats call on the walkie-talkie and say that they ran into a cave and don't know where they are. The Pony Pals think they're getting tricked again, so they ignore them, until the girls start crying and insisting they're "not like the shepherd boy". All right then. So starts a quest to save the midgets.
Questing, questing, Acorn finds clues, Acorn runs away, Acorn finds Tongo, the girls find the cave, bla bla bla.
So at the cave, Anna insists on going in and finding the little girls. She goes in, gets them, they are safe, and neither Mimi nor Rosalie have rabies. And all is well.
More notes:
Rosalie has brown hair all of a sudden. Who lets a six-year-old dye their hair?
Aargh, it's like a Verizon commercial. "Can you hear me now? Good."
I don't find it strange that Mrs. Lacey won't buy Rosalie a pony when they're DIRT POOR AND LIVE IN AN APARTMENT!!!
Mrs. Bell is so gullible. She should NOT be babysitting those children.
Anna: Oh, I don't think they'll be mad.
Ha. I've spent enough time with Pam and Lulu to know that they WILL be mad.
Ha. Pam knows Mimi is full of crap.
Yeah, that's smart, Mimi. "I can ride with one hand!!"
Tongo bolts. Ha.
Anna flips out at Mimi. Lol.
Mimi: Where's my walkie-talkie?
Anna: Your walkie-talkie? You almost got killed. You have to hold on with two hands when you ride. Always.
Mimi: That was fun. It was a Pony Pal adventure.
I seriously think I would have slapped her by this time. Seriously. This girl is such a PILL.
Ha. Anna threatens to take her back home to get her to shut up.
Tongo is the lamest pony ever. He's scared of WATER.
Mimi and Rosalie have a walkie-talkie conversation. They're sitting a few feet away from each other the entire time. Yeah, they're six, all right.
ROSALIE STILL HAS BROWN HAIR! AND ALL THE PONIES LOOK LIKE CAMARGUES: ALL THE SAME!!!
Ew, and Rosalie has gross bangs.
Mimi: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Anna: To get to the other side.
Mimi: Wrong! The chicken crossed the road to see her friend.
Anna: Very funny.
Lulu: Very silly.
And Lulu is definitely an only child.
Omg, Rosalie and Mimi are joking about getting attacked by a bear. Mike is most likely not in Boy Scouts.
Ugh, Anna's going to tell them a parable to make them change their mind. IT WON'T WORK.
Great. Mimi justifies lying as "joking".
And now they're being attacked by a wolf.
Mimi: Ugh, they're so bossy.
Ha! Said Mimi.
Wait, Lulu is allowed to go off into the woods by herself, and the little kids aren't??? "DON'T GO OFF BY YOURSELF!" Yeah, right.
Anna lies about Tongo being missing. Oh, but she was just "joking".
Paul Bachem's drawings of Tongo always suck, but his Acorns in this book are really good.
Hmmm...Acorn is Anna's "wonderful pony hero".
You see how short that was!!!?? It must have been good. Coming up soon: Avalon #2: All That Glitters (probably my favorite book in the series, which means it's probably awful).
Some more chicken jokes that are funnier than Mimi's.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Awwwww, it's sooooo cute, or Pony Pals #28: The Newborn Pony
Get ready, kids, because I have SOOOO many books coming up it's not even funny! 3 Balinors, 2 Avalons, and 2 nameless horse books from a depressing and awful series? Pretty much. I, unfortunately, haven't read any of them just yet, so you'll have to stick with the Pony Pals for now.
Plot: Yay, Beauty got knocked up and is going to have a baby!! Strange, this has never been mentioned before.... It appears that Beauty's due date is near, so the Pony Pals offer to stay up all night with her to make sure nothing goes wrong. During the night, Beauty gives birth to a beautiful baby boy. Everyone admires it, and then leave to eat breakfast.
The next morning, Mike Lacey shows up, claiming he wants to see the pony. After a mean trick, the Pony Pals aren't so sure that's the case, so they threaten to tell everyone he is afraid of ponies if he doesn't cut it out. Oooooo....
Oh no, the foal is stricken with pneumonia!!! The Pony Pals and Mike stay up for another night to take care of the poor creature. But don't worry, it's a Pony Pals book; it's not like he's going to DIE! He gets better immediately, so Mike and the Pony Pals decide to each come up with a name, then everyone will vote. Mike comes up with a WONDERFUL name that everyone likes, so the foal is christened "Miracle". Yay.
More notes:
She insists on saying "chestnut-colored".
SINCE WHEN IS BEAUTY PREGNANT?? And how have 11 months passed with us not knowing? I bet I know who the father is, though.
AGH, CRAPPY PONY DRAWINGS!!
Jeanne Betancourt has reused the same "Galloping feels like flying!" paragraph in like 3 books.
Ms. Wiggins: It would be wonderful to have some help. Are you sure you don't mind? It's not as much fun as camping in the hills.
Um, let's see, hole in the ground vs. toilets and running water, real food vs. food over the campfire, I'd rather sleep at your house, Ms. Wiggins.
They call the paddock Beauty's "little yard". I guess Jeanne forgot the terminology.
Pam always has to sound so smart.
I think the Pony Pals wake up every morning and go, "Hm, lovely day, this reminds me of how I met my two best friends." I mean, really, who thinks about their best friends while setting up a tent?
"Lulu thought living in Wiggins would be boring. Then she met Anna and Pam and became a Pony Pal. And then she got Snow White."
That writing makes me cringe.
Of course Snow White will like the baby. Snow White is obsessed with babies.
I think "Black Beauty" is the only movie they've ever seen.
It's easy to mistake people for bears or deer when you're riding...in broad daylight.
Lol, Mike screams like a little girl.
A beautiful drawing of Snow White. She looks like a carousel pony. Mike looks like Eminem.
Being scared of ponies isn't that big a deal.
AAAAAAAAAGH! THEY'RE HAVING SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS FOR DINNER!!!!!!
Anna brings brownies. *shakes head*
He's described as brown with black stockings. The foal on the cover definitely doesn't fit that description.
His marking looks more like a crescent moon than a half moon, Lulu.
Aw, he's so adorable.
They said "teat" in a children's book!!
LOL, Tommy and Mike push their tent over...while they're in it. The drawing is quite odd, though, because Anna somehow ends up on top of Lulu.
ROFL! "'Do you think an animal could have pushed the tent over?' asked Pam. 'Like a cow?'"
"'Maybe a deer did it,' suggested Anna. 'A big deer. And it ran away.'"
How is this a mystery? It was so obviously Tommy and Mike. And why must you always make everything a mystery, Pam?
Mike practically confesses. "It wasn't my idea!!!"
OMG, DUH, IT WAS TOMMY AND MIKE! OF COURSE THEY LEFT TRACKS THAT ARE TOO BIG TO BE YOUR OWN!! YOU'RE SO DUMB!!
I love how their lives revolve around riding. "Oh no, I almost broke my leg! You can't ride with a broken leg!" "That's nothing! I have AIDs! You can't ride with AIDs!" "Well, I have dyslexia! You can't ride with dyslexia!"
They write him a threatening letter.
Mike: We know that you and Tommy tipped over our tent. We have evidence to prove it. If you do anything mean and dangerous like that again, we'll tell Ms. Wiggins. You better leave us alone or you could lose your job.
Pam, Anna, Lulu
P.S. We saw how afraid you were when you fed Picasso. We were spying on you. [That's not stalker-y or anything.]
P.P.S. Watch out for Pony Power! [I think this is why he makes fun of you.]
Btw, who was the person that said, "Boys make fun of you when they like you?" Or maybe all boys are jackasses.
Tommy's idea for a name is Turd. Because the pony is brown.
Ms. Wiggins is so dense.
Okay, Rascal is an okay name, but wth Pam? "His eyes already sparkle with mischief."
Oooh, a very nice drawing of Snow White. Wth, horses and ponies neigh all the time. That doesn't mean someone is dead.
Wth? "Oh no, the foal is congested!" Then give him a Sudafed.
Wow. The Pony Pals fight back.
Tommy: Has the little pony got a little cold-y?
Mike: Quit it, Tomy. This could be serious.
Lulu: Not everything is a joke, Tommy Rand.
Tommy: Well, the Pony Pests are one big joke. You make me laugh all day long.
Pam: And you make me sick. Don't you take anything seriously?
Wth, Lulu stops Pam and is all, "This is not the time to fight with Tommy Rand." Isn't that what you were doing, Mrs. Hypocrite??
Ooh, Tommy uses bad grammar to up his cool factor. "We got better stuff to do."
Ew, Paul Bachem drew the UGLIEST picture of Beauty. Her face is humongous.
Wth, everyone has 90 minutes on watch, but Mr. Silver, the OLD GUY, has 2 hours. Lame.
Ew, foaly is really ugly in the next picture, and Mike is all up against the wall for some reason. Like a Boys Like Girls song.
Go Pam!
Mike: Okay, okay. I get it. I'm not stupid.
Pam: *glare of death* Sometimes you are. When you follow whatever stupid, dumb, dangerous thing Tommy Rand says.
Lulu: You're even afraid of Tommy. And we know you're afraid of ponies, too.
Shut up, Lulu. I hate that this book is about Lulu. Just a lot of Snow White glorification.
Why is it that when they want to stay up late, they eat cookies and juice? Drink Red Bull and you'll be fine.
Mike saves the day...again.
Wth, shut up, Lulu, you ungrateful whore.
If someone is coughing, get them to stand up and it will be all better. Or grab their belly. Says nurse Pam.
WTH, THIS IS NOT SOME EPIC PRANK WAR! MIKE JUST SAVED YOUR FREAKING PONY!
"Lulu looked up and saw a white shape running through the dawning light.
It was Snow White."
That's good, because I was afraid it was a polar bear. Duh, of course it was Snow White.
Lulu and Mike bond over milk.
Pam's name is Rascal.
Lulu's name is Moon, which I would've voted for back in the day, when I was obsessed with all things moon: Sailor Moon, crescent moon, moonshining....
Anna chooses Big Boy?? What kind of name is that? Pam suggests they call him B. B. Maybe if he was a blues artist.
Mike chooses Miracle, and they force him to say why he chose that name.
"Because it's like a miracle that he was born without any problems. Then he got sick, and it's a miracle he didn't die."
Mike said "like" like a valley girl. That's so sappy but kind of sweet.
Mike isn't shy, Lulu, he's just embarassed that he has to talk about ponies with 3 ten-year-old girls.
WHY must you do a secret ballot, just choose a name!!!
Lulu has crappy handwriting.
Miracle wins. I like Moon better.
A horrible picture of Snow White, a very nice picture of Lightning, and Acorn is palomino??? What??
This book was barely about Snow White, and Lulu is all, "Snow White, you saved the whole world from global warming while ending world hunger!!"
Lame. "You're great, Snow White. You are the miracle in my life."
Lol. You are the music in me.
So that's it. Tomorrow I'll talk about Avalon!!! Yay! Magic and talking ferrets. It will be quite fantastic.
Plot: Yay, Beauty got knocked up and is going to have a baby!! Strange, this has never been mentioned before.... It appears that Beauty's due date is near, so the Pony Pals offer to stay up all night with her to make sure nothing goes wrong. During the night, Beauty gives birth to a beautiful baby boy. Everyone admires it, and then leave to eat breakfast.
The next morning, Mike Lacey shows up, claiming he wants to see the pony. After a mean trick, the Pony Pals aren't so sure that's the case, so they threaten to tell everyone he is afraid of ponies if he doesn't cut it out. Oooooo....
Oh no, the foal is stricken with pneumonia!!! The Pony Pals and Mike stay up for another night to take care of the poor creature. But don't worry, it's a Pony Pals book; it's not like he's going to DIE! He gets better immediately, so Mike and the Pony Pals decide to each come up with a name, then everyone will vote. Mike comes up with a WONDERFUL name that everyone likes, so the foal is christened "Miracle". Yay.
More notes:
She insists on saying "chestnut-colored".
SINCE WHEN IS BEAUTY PREGNANT?? And how have 11 months passed with us not knowing? I bet I know who the father is, though.
AGH, CRAPPY PONY DRAWINGS!!
Jeanne Betancourt has reused the same "Galloping feels like flying!" paragraph in like 3 books.
Ms. Wiggins: It would be wonderful to have some help. Are you sure you don't mind? It's not as much fun as camping in the hills.
Um, let's see, hole in the ground vs. toilets and running water, real food vs. food over the campfire, I'd rather sleep at your house, Ms. Wiggins.
They call the paddock Beauty's "little yard". I guess Jeanne forgot the terminology.
Pam always has to sound so smart.
I think the Pony Pals wake up every morning and go, "Hm, lovely day, this reminds me of how I met my two best friends." I mean, really, who thinks about their best friends while setting up a tent?
"Lulu thought living in Wiggins would be boring. Then she met Anna and Pam and became a Pony Pal. And then she got Snow White."
That writing makes me cringe.
Of course Snow White will like the baby. Snow White is obsessed with babies.
I think "Black Beauty" is the only movie they've ever seen.
It's easy to mistake people for bears or deer when you're riding...in broad daylight.
Lol, Mike screams like a little girl.
A beautiful drawing of Snow White. She looks like a carousel pony. Mike looks like Eminem.
Being scared of ponies isn't that big a deal.
AAAAAAAAAGH! THEY'RE HAVING SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS FOR DINNER!!!!!!
Anna brings brownies. *shakes head*
He's described as brown with black stockings. The foal on the cover definitely doesn't fit that description.
His marking looks more like a crescent moon than a half moon, Lulu.
Aw, he's so adorable.
They said "teat" in a children's book!!
LOL, Tommy and Mike push their tent over...while they're in it. The drawing is quite odd, though, because Anna somehow ends up on top of Lulu.
ROFL! "'Do you think an animal could have pushed the tent over?' asked Pam. 'Like a cow?'"
"'Maybe a deer did it,' suggested Anna. 'A big deer. And it ran away.'"
How is this a mystery? It was so obviously Tommy and Mike. And why must you always make everything a mystery, Pam?
Mike practically confesses. "It wasn't my idea!!!"
OMG, DUH, IT WAS TOMMY AND MIKE! OF COURSE THEY LEFT TRACKS THAT ARE TOO BIG TO BE YOUR OWN!! YOU'RE SO DUMB!!
I love how their lives revolve around riding. "Oh no, I almost broke my leg! You can't ride with a broken leg!" "That's nothing! I have AIDs! You can't ride with AIDs!" "Well, I have dyslexia! You can't ride with dyslexia!"
They write him a threatening letter.
Mike: We know that you and Tommy tipped over our tent. We have evidence to prove it. If you do anything mean and dangerous like that again, we'll tell Ms. Wiggins. You better leave us alone or you could lose your job.
Pam, Anna, Lulu
P.S. We saw how afraid you were when you fed Picasso. We were spying on you. [That's not stalker-y or anything.]
P.P.S. Watch out for Pony Power! [I think this is why he makes fun of you.]
Btw, who was the person that said, "Boys make fun of you when they like you?" Or maybe all boys are jackasses.
Tommy's idea for a name is Turd. Because the pony is brown.
Ms. Wiggins is so dense.
Okay, Rascal is an okay name, but wth Pam? "His eyes already sparkle with mischief."
Oooh, a very nice drawing of Snow White. Wth, horses and ponies neigh all the time. That doesn't mean someone is dead.
Wth? "Oh no, the foal is congested!" Then give him a Sudafed.
Wow. The Pony Pals fight back.
Tommy: Has the little pony got a little cold-y?
Mike: Quit it, Tomy. This could be serious.
Lulu: Not everything is a joke, Tommy Rand.
Tommy: Well, the Pony Pests are one big joke. You make me laugh all day long.
Pam: And you make me sick. Don't you take anything seriously?
Wth, Lulu stops Pam and is all, "This is not the time to fight with Tommy Rand." Isn't that what you were doing, Mrs. Hypocrite??
Ooh, Tommy uses bad grammar to up his cool factor. "We got better stuff to do."
Ew, Paul Bachem drew the UGLIEST picture of Beauty. Her face is humongous.
Wth, everyone has 90 minutes on watch, but Mr. Silver, the OLD GUY, has 2 hours. Lame.
Ew, foaly is really ugly in the next picture, and Mike is all up against the wall for some reason. Like a Boys Like Girls song.
Go Pam!
Mike: Okay, okay. I get it. I'm not stupid.
Pam: *glare of death* Sometimes you are. When you follow whatever stupid, dumb, dangerous thing Tommy Rand says.
Lulu: You're even afraid of Tommy. And we know you're afraid of ponies, too.
Shut up, Lulu. I hate that this book is about Lulu. Just a lot of Snow White glorification.
Why is it that when they want to stay up late, they eat cookies and juice? Drink Red Bull and you'll be fine.
Mike saves the day...again.
Wth, shut up, Lulu, you ungrateful whore.
If someone is coughing, get them to stand up and it will be all better. Or grab their belly. Says nurse Pam.
WTH, THIS IS NOT SOME EPIC PRANK WAR! MIKE JUST SAVED YOUR FREAKING PONY!
"Lulu looked up and saw a white shape running through the dawning light.
It was Snow White."
That's good, because I was afraid it was a polar bear. Duh, of course it was Snow White.
Lulu and Mike bond over milk.
Pam's name is Rascal.
Lulu's name is Moon, which I would've voted for back in the day, when I was obsessed with all things moon: Sailor Moon, crescent moon, moonshining....
Anna chooses Big Boy?? What kind of name is that? Pam suggests they call him B. B. Maybe if he was a blues artist.
Mike chooses Miracle, and they force him to say why he chose that name.
"Because it's like a miracle that he was born without any problems. Then he got sick, and it's a miracle he didn't die."
Mike said "like" like a valley girl. That's so sappy but kind of sweet.
Mike isn't shy, Lulu, he's just embarassed that he has to talk about ponies with 3 ten-year-old girls.
WHY must you do a secret ballot, just choose a name!!!
Lulu has crappy handwriting.
Miracle wins. I like Moon better.
A horrible picture of Snow White, a very nice picture of Lightning, and Acorn is palomino??? What??
This book was barely about Snow White, and Lulu is all, "Snow White, you saved the whole world from global warming while ending world hunger!!"
Lame. "You're great, Snow White. You are the miracle in my life."
Lol. You are the music in me.
So that's it. Tomorrow I'll talk about Avalon!!! Yay! Magic and talking ferrets. It will be quite fantastic.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
