Pam stared at the window in shock. It couldn't be Lulu! But it was. Though this new Lulu had short hair, cute (almost girly) clothes, and what looked to be a nose ring, it was definitely the girl Pam had been best friends with 6 years ago. She turned to look at Anna and realized Anna was no longer beside her. Another quick glance out the window revealed Anna running towards Lulu, interrupting the sentimental moment between the girl and her old pony. She arrived outside just in time to hear Anna, with her arms around Lulu, scream, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Hey, there, Annie!" Lulu said, obviously uncomfortable. Anna drew away in horror.
"M-m-my name's Anna!" She stammered incredulously. Pam came up behind her and Lulu seemed relieved to find someone she remembered.
"Pam! Hi!" She edged away from an emotionally distraught Anna and approached Pam, smiling. "I was just getting reacquainted with my old horse." Pam stiffened.
"Snow White is a pony, Lulu." Lulu paused for a split second, then snorted as if Pam had said something ridiculous.
"Duh. What did you think I said?" She shook her head and winked at Anna. Anna, almost crying, sniffed back at her. Pam noticed Lulu's appearance for the first time. Six years ago, Lulu would've been described as "tomboyish", but the outfit sure wore now was far from that. A cute shirt-ish thing (was that called a "blouse"? Pam didn't know.), a lacy peasant skirt, and sparkly flats gave off a rather girly vibe. Pam wrinkled her nose. How did Lulu expect to go riding with an outfit like that? Anna was wondering the same thing.
"You can't ride in a skirt!" She shouted, pointing at the offending garment. Lulu stared at her, obviously confused. Then she threw back her head and laughed hysterically.
"I'm not going RIDING!" She hiccuped. Anna gasped. Pam raised an eyebrow.
"But...we're the Pony Pals." Didn't that mean anything anymore? Lulu stopped laughing. She looked annoyed.
"Um, yeah, we WERE the Pony Pals. Six YEARS ago!" As if to emphasize this statement, she shoved Snow White, who was nibbling at her adorable shoulder length bob, away from her. Anna gasped again.
"Don't touch my pony!" She ran to Snow White's aid, offering the pony comfort in this time of distress. But it was Anna who needed comfort; Snow White hadn't seemed to mind one bit. Lulu sighed and continued.
"Look, ponies were cool when we were, what, ten? Then you got a horse, Pam, and I moved to Africa. I've spent the last six years traveling, and I've learned A LOT."
"Like what?" Pam asked with a sneer.
"I learned where babies come from." Lulu answered triumphantly. Anna and Pam were taken aback.
"You're not supposed to know that! It's only for married couples!" Anna hissed violently. Lulu cackled.
"Please. Married couples aren't the only ones who do it. Take Tommy and Rema for instance." Pam felt as though she'd punched in the stomach. She hadn't noticed anything between them! Lulu was just getting started.
"Yeah, seriously, they've been at it since junior high! And I learned that only homeschooled weirdos ride ponies anymore!"
"That's not true! We're not homeschooled!" Anna's passionate statement didn't exactly un-prove Lulu's point.
"Yeah, well, I also learned that you get more guys when you actually start DRESSING like a GIRL!" She let those words sink in.
"We dress like girls..." Anna mumbled, looking at the ground.
"All the time," Pam forced out, coughing guiltily. She hoped Lulu couldn't read minds, and wouldn't see as Pam mentally went through her wardrobe and found nothing but boy's buttondowns, baggy turtlenecks, and jeans. Lulu sighed.
"I was kidding. Sort of. At least you guys shower everyday. I knew a bunch of girls who didn't..." Pam and Anna exchanged guilty looks. "What? Seriously?" She laughed nervously. "You're kidding, right?" There was a long pause. Lulu sighed again.
"I'm sorry, you guys. It's just...weird being home after so long."
"You've changed," Pam said accusingly, still hurt by her friend's remarks.
"I know. I said I was sorry." Anna eyes filled with tears.
"We forgive you!" She gave Lulu a huge hug. Lulu looked uncomfortable. Anna's eyes lit up with sudden inspiration. "I know! Let's go to the diner and talk there! Then we can catch up properly!"
"But I can't ride," Lulu protested. "There aren't enough ponies."
"Just change into jeans," Anna said brightly. Lulu hesitated.
"Or we could walk." Pam suggested sourly, her lip curled in disgust. "It's just down the street."
"Great!" Anna beamed and grabbed Lulu's hand, practically dragging her out of the paddock. Pam watched them go. She wasn't hungry, and, judging from the size of Anna's protein shake at breakfast, Anna wasn't either. Yet her best friend seemed determined to integrate Lulu back into their lives. But this wasn't the Lulu they'd been friends with years ago, and, frankly, Pam wanted nothing to do with her. If only she could convince Anna of the same thing.
Showing posts with label crappy friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crappy friends. Show all posts
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Monday, June 23, 2008
If someone is mean, they have issues, or FTFO Madison Finn #19: Keep It Real
I read this a while ago. Haven't been posting, though, because it's summer and I could be...you know...watching "Monk" and playing with my dog.
Speaking of Tie, she was totally lying right next to me 2 seconds ago. What happened?
Plot: Madison Finn has had enough of Ivy Daly!!! Her English class has just received a new journal writing assignment, and Ivy always writes about how perfect and wonderful her life is. It just makes Madison sick; partly because Ivy is such a fake, and partly because Ivy writes so much in her journal. Journal writing is Madison's territory!!!
It turns out Ivy's life is NOT so perfect after all!!! Her mom has breast cancer.
Fran tells Madison to be nice to Ivy because her mom is sort of dying, but Madison finds it hard when Ivy continues to be such a meanie.
Finally, she convinces her friends to stop giving Ivy such a hard time. Good enough.
More notes:
"We started 'journaling', which is basically keeping track of feelings and observations and all that [in case you didn't know what journaling was]...which is what I do every day on this computer anyway! [Lol, me, too!]"
Madison's first assignment is to write about a very successful or very embarassing moment. Pick embarassing, you've got plenty of those.
The Gang goes to Madison's house.
Hart: Gee, I've never been in your house before.
Drew: Yeah, you have. Haven't you?
Fiona: *to Madison* You WISH Hart had been in your house before....
Egg almost breaks a glass penguin belonging to Madison's mom.
Madison: Careful! My mom got that in the antarctic!
Because they have so many glass penguin shops in the antarctic.
Madison finds it weird that Egg speaks Spanish...even though he's bilingual.
Although he's quite "Dora the Explorer" about it. "Mi mami got it for me. She rocks."
"As Egg clicked away, Madison prayed that his fingers wouldn't slip and cause him to select one of her e-mail messages or open the secret folder on her desktop tht held her files. She had visions of Hart standing there while a dozen different files carrying his name opened up.
Hart Jones
Hart (continued)
Mr. & Mrs. Jones
The One
Him"
Wow. She has officially passed into stalking territory.
Ooh, there's a new exotic website called BLOGGERfishbowl, where bigfishbowl members can BLOG.
Oh no, they come across Madison's journal assignment...and it's blank.
Hm. Either way, that sucks.
Ivy accuses Madison of wicked PMS, but Madison doesn't want to admit that she HASN'T STARTED HER PERIOD.
I don't think she ever will, if it's been three years and she's still 12.
Madison's like, "Ew, Hart has crooked teeth."
So????
Hart: Looked like Ivy and you were arguing.
Madison: Big surprise.
Hart: She gets weirder every day.
Madison: I actually thought you liked her.
Hart: Me? Like Ivy? Uh...not exactly. She's pretty and all that, but sometimes she's just...well, I said it. She's a big weirdo.
Madison: She likes you.
Hart: Whatever.
I think he still likes her. Way to lie and be all, "Me, like her? No way."
Hart: Later, Finnster. Er...Maddie. Sorry, I guess I should stop calling you Finnster. I know it bugs you.
Madison: Yeah, well... No, Finnster isn't so bad. I like it. Don't stop. Really.
Hart: Really?
Madison: I just need to think of a good nickname for you.
Hart: Uh...Egg calls me Loser sometimes. Or Weasel.
Madison: I was thinking more like Hunk.
Hart: Huh? What did you just say???
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Madison: What? I said, 'Dork'. Why? What did you think I said?
Hart: Oh yeah, that's me. Super Dork, actually. *wink*
Phew. Crisis averted. ROFL, that was pretty hilarious, though.
Aimee is depressed because her ballet teacher has breast cancer. Foreshadowing?
Madison tells her mom about the breast cancer.
Fran: It seems like so many women I know have it these days.
Madison: Really? I remember your friend from work. Who else?
Fran: Oh. No one in particular, honey bear.
More foreshadowing!!!
Madison is surfing BLOGGERfishbowl when she comes across a blog written by...*drumroll*...Vicki, AKA Bigwheels, HER KEYPAL!!!
Bigwheels' latest entry:
I know I need to just relax but how can I relax when I don't get any sleep either? I think I'm going to check out one of the chat rooms Dad told me about. I never knew it affected so many kids. I also found out that I can volunteer down @ the speech center in Seattle. I don't think I'll be working with kids who have autism but I will probably learn a lot.
--BW
Autism??? What a concept.
Madison is less concerned by the entry, however, and more concerned about why BIGWHEELS NEVER TOLD HER ABOUT THIS SECRET BLOG!! BETRAYAL!!!
Hey, Madison gets an e-mail from Hart...one that turns out to be a mistake:
From: Sk8ingboy
Hey, guys, my dad just called the FH rink and the dude there said we can play next wkend which is cool so let's find other guys and we'll be hooked up. I was thinking maybe we could go over to Drew's to play the Zone again b4 we sk8 since the game @ Maddie's was so lame. Ok. E-me l8r.
Whoa, wait. The game at Maddie's was LAME? Does that mean the game was stupid or Madison is lame?
Madison has to write a story about a scar, so she writes about the divorce, which is a metaphorical scar.
But then she gets off topic and has to rewrite the entire thing.
Been there.
Oooh, big juicy gossip! Ivy is dating a high-school sophomore!!!
???
But is she SLEEPING with him? Otherwise, that's only SORT OF creepy.
Uh oh...he was talking about her in the locker room. GROSS.
There's actually not that many cute guys at other schools. I'm pretty satisfied with the ones at mine, but Madison thinks otherwise.
Lance reads his scar story outloud in class, and it turns out Lance has a heart defect!!! For Madison, this explains all his nerdy tendencies.
Yeah. Because heart defects cause a person to be socially challenged.
Hmm, Madison hears Ivy crying in the bathroom. EVEN MORE FORESHADOWING??
?? Madison's mom goes on a date...but doesn't tell Madison what went on.
She still wants her parents to get back together, even though her dad is married now?? It's cool if Stephanie gets hurt and everything....
Aargh, Madison's friends twist the rumor about Ivy and make it sound like she's dating a COLLEGE sophomore!!!! Aargh, they're so mean!!
Drew tells them to leave her alone, and they're all, "Ha ha, you like Ivy!!"
Uh oh. It appears Hart still likes Ivy. All his friends are teasing him about it.
He WAS lying after all.
Journaling #3
Topic: List twenty details about someone you know. Try to include details that are about more than just physical appearance.
Egg asks Madison to read her list outloud...but she can't...because it's about HART.
Egg writes about his sister Mariah, who has blue hair and a nose ring. Jealous.
Fiona writes about Madison, but one of her details is "Bad at keeping secrets".
Ouch.
Since they don't have a science teacher and they can't get a sub, Madison's science class has to work in the library the entire period.
And Madison is stuck with Poison Ivy.
Fuuuun.
Madison doesn't remember Ivy's middle name, which is Renee...
...but Ivy remembers MADISON'S middle name, which is Francesca.
Random.
Turns out Ivy already did all the journaling assignments and asked for more!! Oh, I want some, too.
Madison wants those extra assignments.
But Ivy won't give them to her.
Because Madison never shares her science notes.
Catfight!
Madison peeks into Ivy's journal:
Write about a time you had to wait for something you wanted.
What's the point of writing about this? I am supposed to see M. and H. as soon as possible, but I don't know what will happen. J. didn't have happy....
Madison assumes M and H stand for "Madison" and "Hart".
Bigwheels is sorry, but she doesn't feel comfortable telling Madison what's going on in her life.
Madison retaliates and whines, "You always told me to keep it real. You can talk to me!!"
Someone just wants to know the juicy gossip.
Hello. Problem solve. It has to do with AUTISM.
Madison runs into Hart in the hallway.
Madison: I'm such a klutz. I can't believe I whammed into you like that. I am SO sorry. And now look at this mess....
Hart: My dad would call this a happy accident. He always says profound things like that.
What are you implying??
Uh-oh. Hart might've looked at Madison's journal! There's no telling what he saw!
Hmm, it turns out he might've seen "MADISON JONES" written in huge letters.
Aimee's obsessed with the whole "high school sophomore" thing. "OMG, HIS NAME IS FRED!"
And he apparently got suspended once for using drugs.
Wows. The 4th journaling assignment is to write a description of someone you know, and using inflammatory language, Madison writes a pagelong rant about Poison Ivy.
It turns out Mrs. Daly (Ivy's mom) has breast cancer, too!
It's a small world after all.
Duh. The M and J in the notebook stood for "Mom" and "Janet".
It turns out the high-school sophomore is a member of a cancer support group that Ivy goes to and they're JUST FRIENDS.
Madison doesn't want to be nice to Ivy because her FRIENDS will think she's weird.
You could bring up the CANCER. That might help.
Fran STILL won't tell Madison who she's dating...or whether or not she's dating AT ALL.
Madison accidentally tells her friends about the date, and they're all, "OMG, GOSSIP!"
Madison: No! You guys... This is how rumors get started.
Yeah. Remember the "college sophomore" thing?
Fiona: Walter's cute, and I like him a lot, but he can be really, really embarrassing sometimes.
He's a GUY! Not only that, he's in 7TH GRADE! Of course he's embarrassing!
Drew, the rich kid, brags about his new BASEBALL CARD COLLECTION. He even has an original Honus Wagner card!!!
Um, cool...but what's the point?? It's not like there's anyone to trade with him.
Hart grabs Madison's hand suggestively. ????
Fran doesn't want to wear a red dress on one of her dates, because that would send the WRONG IMPRESSION.
Either this guy is religious or it's not a date.
Dude, it's okay if you lie in your journal. Denial is the first step in processing grief. And it's her PRIVATE JOURNAL. It's not like anyone's going to find out.
And Madison doesn't even CARE about the lies Ivy is writing. She's just jealous that Ivy is in her DOMAIN of journals and collages.
Bigwheels reveals her secret: Her brother Eddie has mild autism.
Now he doesn't like being touched, can't sit still, hit himself in public, and apparently can't talk.
Ooooh...poor Bigwheels.
Madison's like...Oh.
The grades were so bad on the last science quiz that Madison's teacher gave everyone an A!!!!!
Whoa...I wish my science teacher had been that nice. I had the highest grade in the class with a B-!
Just when Madison is about to be nice to Ivy, Ivy has to tell another lie about her perfect life, making Madison "madder than mad".
Fran wasn't going on dates...she was meeting with a bigwig to discuss her promotion!! Soon they'll be rich!
Madison is mad that her mom didn't tell her first, though. After she told everyone else. Including Jeff, the guy she had a kid with.
Yeah, I'd probably tell Jeff first, too.
Argh. Madison's friends start being REALLY mean about Ivy (claiming she's on drugs, making fun of her outfit, etc.), so Madison tells them to quit it.
And...ugh, I hate them so much.
Aimee: Are you defending her?
Madison: no, no! But I just think...that maybe...we're being a little harsh...
Friends: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Madison: What's so funny?
Aimee: Maddie, we're talking about the Queen of Harsh here, Poison Ivy Daly, remember? How could we possibly come near her level of mean?
THAT'S your excuse?? When is it EVER okay to accuse someone of being on drugs??? I freaking HATE Aimee.
Wth, Aimee gets WORSE!!
aIMEE: I just saw her crying outside one of hte bathrooms. Can you believe it? Ivy never cries. She's more like an emotional freezer. She doesn't care about anyone else except herself.
Fiona: What was she crying about?
Aimee: Herself. She ran out of lip gloss. Oooh! Poor me!
B**ch.
Madison does some really LAME defending.
Madison: I think Ivy's got a problem.
Aimee: NO KIDDING!
Fiona: HAHAHAHAHA! [I hate her, too]
Madison: No, you two, I'm serious. I think maybe she has a real problem.
Fiona: You're serious?
Aimee: Like, what problem? What do you know that you aren't telling us?
Madison: I just...I don't know anything for sure. But I just think that maybe Ivy is really sad. Maybe she's not being a drama queen for once.
Fiona: I guess you could be right.
Aimee: Please! I can't stay for the pity party.
For the love of God, Aimee!! Who's an emotional freezer now? She doesn't even care!! And Madison just laughs along with her to the pity party comment.
Is it sad that I'm getting really riled about what a fictional character is saying??
Whatever. She's a STUPID fictional character.
Lo and behold! The girls come upon a lady whose son has autism!
Madison: It's so weird that you saw Mrs. Reynolds like that, because I was just wondering about autism.
Aimee: Huh? You were? Maddie, why were you wondering about that?
Madison: Oh, I don't know, Aim, I saw a TV show on autism once...and I-I've always wondered about it. That's all.
Aimee: That's so random, Maddie.
Dude, holy crap. Is Aimee THAT OBLIVIOUS?? What a crappy friend.
Now that Fran is rich, she takes Madison on a joyous shopping spree.
Dang, my parents are the opposite of rich right now.
Stupid gas prices.
And they run into Paige and Ivy Daly at the mall!! Awkward...
I think Mrs. Daly is bald. That's how I pictured her, anyway.
Awww...Ivy is so sad about her mom.
But she also doesn't want anyone to start treating her like a leper because she has a sick mom.
That's the Ivy we know and love. You were scaring me for a minute there, Ivy.
Omg, Mrs. Daly has an asthma attack! Or something. Does cancer affect the respiratory system, too?
Mrs. Daly just randomly throws her arms around Madison and kisses her on the cheek. WHOA. There's this thing we call "The Bubble". You're not respecting it.
For her last journal assignment, Madison has to write a piece from someone else's point of view, so she writes about Ivy. It's pretty depressing.
Yay, Eddie's made progress! He can talk now!!
Maybe he'll grow up to be like the autistic kids at my school who are really good at spelling.
But that's assuming all autistic kids have some sort of superpower when in fact they're just normal kids...sort of.
Surprise! Hart comes over.
And he ran the entire way???
Ha ha, like in #16. "Are you okay?" "Oh yeah, I have asthma."
Chocolate cookies are overrated.
But both Madison and Hart like them. They have SOOOO much in common!!
Wh-What?
Hart: Are you okay?
Madison: No.
And she tells him all about what's been going on...and he listens??? That's cool.
But then, out of the blue, he's all, "You're really nice." Which makes you wonder if he was really listening.
They agree to "do something"...as in go on a date.
Hart: You know...I should tell you something.
Madison: What?
Hart: Well, do you remember the day when you and I collided at school? And your bag fell apart?
Madison: Yeah?
Hart: Well...I saw your journal that day. I saw what you wrote.
Madison: Saw what?
Hart: I saw my name on that page.
Then he just LEAVES!!! MIXED-MESSAGES!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN????
But then Fran comes home and says, "Hart run all the way here? He loves you!"
So everything is okay.
Madison's Computer Tip:
If you want to keep your thoughts and feelings secret, don't write them down in a blog.
Well, I obviously DON'T.
Hm, fun fun fun.
The next one takes place in NYC, so it should be sparkly and fun, according to the back cover.
Agh, I started reading #21, which I'd never read before, and it's a little disappointing. But whatever. I'll be here forever, so expect more later.
Speaking of Tie, she was totally lying right next to me 2 seconds ago. What happened?
Plot: Madison Finn has had enough of Ivy Daly!!! Her English class has just received a new journal writing assignment, and Ivy always writes about how perfect and wonderful her life is. It just makes Madison sick; partly because Ivy is such a fake, and partly because Ivy writes so much in her journal. Journal writing is Madison's territory!!!
It turns out Ivy's life is NOT so perfect after all!!! Her mom has breast cancer.
Fran tells Madison to be nice to Ivy because her mom is sort of dying, but Madison finds it hard when Ivy continues to be such a meanie.
Finally, she convinces her friends to stop giving Ivy such a hard time. Good enough.
More notes:
"We started 'journaling', which is basically keeping track of feelings and observations and all that [in case you didn't know what journaling was]...which is what I do every day on this computer anyway! [Lol, me, too!]"
Madison's first assignment is to write about a very successful or very embarassing moment. Pick embarassing, you've got plenty of those.
The Gang goes to Madison's house.
Hart: Gee, I've never been in your house before.
Drew: Yeah, you have. Haven't you?
Fiona: *to Madison* You WISH Hart had been in your house before....
Egg almost breaks a glass penguin belonging to Madison's mom.
Madison: Careful! My mom got that in the antarctic!
Because they have so many glass penguin shops in the antarctic.
Madison finds it weird that Egg speaks Spanish...even though he's bilingual.
Although he's quite "Dora the Explorer" about it. "Mi mami got it for me. She rocks."
"As Egg clicked away, Madison prayed that his fingers wouldn't slip and cause him to select one of her e-mail messages or open the secret folder on her desktop tht held her files. She had visions of Hart standing there while a dozen different files carrying his name opened up.
Hart Jones
Hart (continued)
Mr. & Mrs. Jones
The One
Him"
Wow. She has officially passed into stalking territory.
Ooh, there's a new exotic website called BLOGGERfishbowl, where bigfishbowl members can BLOG.
Oh no, they come across Madison's journal assignment...and it's blank.
Hm. Either way, that sucks.
Ivy accuses Madison of wicked PMS, but Madison doesn't want to admit that she HASN'T STARTED HER PERIOD.
I don't think she ever will, if it's been three years and she's still 12.
Madison's like, "Ew, Hart has crooked teeth."
So????
Hart: Looked like Ivy and you were arguing.
Madison: Big surprise.
Hart: She gets weirder every day.
Madison: I actually thought you liked her.
Hart: Me? Like Ivy? Uh...not exactly. She's pretty and all that, but sometimes she's just...well, I said it. She's a big weirdo.
Madison: She likes you.
Hart: Whatever.
I think he still likes her. Way to lie and be all, "Me, like her? No way."
Hart: Later, Finnster. Er...Maddie. Sorry, I guess I should stop calling you Finnster. I know it bugs you.
Madison: Yeah, well... No, Finnster isn't so bad. I like it. Don't stop. Really.
Hart: Really?
Madison: I just need to think of a good nickname for you.
Hart: Uh...Egg calls me Loser sometimes. Or Weasel.
Madison: I was thinking more like Hunk.
Hart: Huh? What did you just say???
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Madison: What? I said, 'Dork'. Why? What did you think I said?
Hart: Oh yeah, that's me. Super Dork, actually. *wink*
Phew. Crisis averted. ROFL, that was pretty hilarious, though.
Aimee is depressed because her ballet teacher has breast cancer. Foreshadowing?
Madison tells her mom about the breast cancer.
Fran: It seems like so many women I know have it these days.
Madison: Really? I remember your friend from work. Who else?
Fran: Oh. No one in particular, honey bear.
More foreshadowing!!!
Madison is surfing BLOGGERfishbowl when she comes across a blog written by...*drumroll*...Vicki, AKA Bigwheels, HER KEYPAL!!!
Bigwheels' latest entry:
I know I need to just relax but how can I relax when I don't get any sleep either? I think I'm going to check out one of the chat rooms Dad told me about. I never knew it affected so many kids. I also found out that I can volunteer down @ the speech center in Seattle. I don't think I'll be working with kids who have autism but I will probably learn a lot.
--BW
Autism??? What a concept.
Madison is less concerned by the entry, however, and more concerned about why BIGWHEELS NEVER TOLD HER ABOUT THIS SECRET BLOG!! BETRAYAL!!!
Hey, Madison gets an e-mail from Hart...one that turns out to be a mistake:
From: Sk8ingboy
Hey, guys, my dad just called the FH rink and the dude there said we can play next wkend which is cool so let's find other guys and we'll be hooked up. I was thinking maybe we could go over to Drew's to play the Zone again b4 we sk8 since the game @ Maddie's was so lame. Ok. E-me l8r.
Whoa, wait. The game at Maddie's was LAME? Does that mean the game was stupid or Madison is lame?
Madison has to write a story about a scar, so she writes about the divorce, which is a metaphorical scar.
But then she gets off topic and has to rewrite the entire thing.
Been there.
Oooh, big juicy gossip! Ivy is dating a high-school sophomore!!!
???
But is she SLEEPING with him? Otherwise, that's only SORT OF creepy.
Uh oh...he was talking about her in the locker room. GROSS.
There's actually not that many cute guys at other schools. I'm pretty satisfied with the ones at mine, but Madison thinks otherwise.
Lance reads his scar story outloud in class, and it turns out Lance has a heart defect!!! For Madison, this explains all his nerdy tendencies.
Yeah. Because heart defects cause a person to be socially challenged.
Hmm, Madison hears Ivy crying in the bathroom. EVEN MORE FORESHADOWING??
?? Madison's mom goes on a date...but doesn't tell Madison what went on.
She still wants her parents to get back together, even though her dad is married now?? It's cool if Stephanie gets hurt and everything....
Aargh, Madison's friends twist the rumor about Ivy and make it sound like she's dating a COLLEGE sophomore!!!! Aargh, they're so mean!!
Drew tells them to leave her alone, and they're all, "Ha ha, you like Ivy!!"
Uh oh. It appears Hart still likes Ivy. All his friends are teasing him about it.
He WAS lying after all.
Journaling #3
Topic: List twenty details about someone you know. Try to include details that are about more than just physical appearance.
Egg asks Madison to read her list outloud...but she can't...because it's about HART.
Egg writes about his sister Mariah, who has blue hair and a nose ring. Jealous.
Fiona writes about Madison, but one of her details is "Bad at keeping secrets".
Ouch.
Since they don't have a science teacher and they can't get a sub, Madison's science class has to work in the library the entire period.
And Madison is stuck with Poison Ivy.
Fuuuun.
Madison doesn't remember Ivy's middle name, which is Renee...
...but Ivy remembers MADISON'S middle name, which is Francesca.
Random.
Turns out Ivy already did all the journaling assignments and asked for more!! Oh, I want some, too.
Madison wants those extra assignments.
But Ivy won't give them to her.
Because Madison never shares her science notes.
Catfight!
Madison peeks into Ivy's journal:
Write about a time you had to wait for something you wanted.
What's the point of writing about this? I am supposed to see M. and H. as soon as possible, but I don't know what will happen. J. didn't have happy....
Madison assumes M and H stand for "Madison" and "Hart".
Bigwheels is sorry, but she doesn't feel comfortable telling Madison what's going on in her life.
Madison retaliates and whines, "You always told me to keep it real. You can talk to me!!"
Someone just wants to know the juicy gossip.
Hello. Problem solve. It has to do with AUTISM.
Madison runs into Hart in the hallway.
Madison: I'm such a klutz. I can't believe I whammed into you like that. I am SO sorry. And now look at this mess....
Hart: My dad would call this a happy accident. He always says profound things like that.
What are you implying??
Uh-oh. Hart might've looked at Madison's journal! There's no telling what he saw!
Hmm, it turns out he might've seen "MADISON JONES" written in huge letters.
Aimee's obsessed with the whole "high school sophomore" thing. "OMG, HIS NAME IS FRED!"
And he apparently got suspended once for using drugs.
Wows. The 4th journaling assignment is to write a description of someone you know, and using inflammatory language, Madison writes a pagelong rant about Poison Ivy.
It turns out Mrs. Daly (Ivy's mom) has breast cancer, too!
It's a small world after all.
Duh. The M and J in the notebook stood for "Mom" and "Janet".
It turns out the high-school sophomore is a member of a cancer support group that Ivy goes to and they're JUST FRIENDS.
Madison doesn't want to be nice to Ivy because her FRIENDS will think she's weird.
You could bring up the CANCER. That might help.
Fran STILL won't tell Madison who she's dating...or whether or not she's dating AT ALL.
Madison accidentally tells her friends about the date, and they're all, "OMG, GOSSIP!"
Madison: No! You guys... This is how rumors get started.
Yeah. Remember the "college sophomore" thing?
Fiona: Walter's cute, and I like him a lot, but he can be really, really embarrassing sometimes.
He's a GUY! Not only that, he's in 7TH GRADE! Of course he's embarrassing!
Drew, the rich kid, brags about his new BASEBALL CARD COLLECTION. He even has an original Honus Wagner card!!!
Um, cool...but what's the point?? It's not like there's anyone to trade with him.
Hart grabs Madison's hand suggestively. ????
Fran doesn't want to wear a red dress on one of her dates, because that would send the WRONG IMPRESSION.
Either this guy is religious or it's not a date.
Dude, it's okay if you lie in your journal. Denial is the first step in processing grief. And it's her PRIVATE JOURNAL. It's not like anyone's going to find out.
And Madison doesn't even CARE about the lies Ivy is writing. She's just jealous that Ivy is in her DOMAIN of journals and collages.
Bigwheels reveals her secret: Her brother Eddie has mild autism.
Now he doesn't like being touched, can't sit still, hit himself in public, and apparently can't talk.
Ooooh...poor Bigwheels.
Madison's like...Oh.
The grades were so bad on the last science quiz that Madison's teacher gave everyone an A!!!!!
Whoa...I wish my science teacher had been that nice. I had the highest grade in the class with a B-!
Just when Madison is about to be nice to Ivy, Ivy has to tell another lie about her perfect life, making Madison "madder than mad".
Fran wasn't going on dates...she was meeting with a bigwig to discuss her promotion!! Soon they'll be rich!
Madison is mad that her mom didn't tell her first, though. After she told everyone else. Including Jeff, the guy she had a kid with.
Yeah, I'd probably tell Jeff first, too.
Argh. Madison's friends start being REALLY mean about Ivy (claiming she's on drugs, making fun of her outfit, etc.), so Madison tells them to quit it.
And...ugh, I hate them so much.
Aimee: Are you defending her?
Madison: no, no! But I just think...that maybe...we're being a little harsh...
Friends: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Madison: What's so funny?
Aimee: Maddie, we're talking about the Queen of Harsh here, Poison Ivy Daly, remember? How could we possibly come near her level of mean?
THAT'S your excuse?? When is it EVER okay to accuse someone of being on drugs??? I freaking HATE Aimee.
Wth, Aimee gets WORSE!!
aIMEE: I just saw her crying outside one of hte bathrooms. Can you believe it? Ivy never cries. She's more like an emotional freezer. She doesn't care about anyone else except herself.
Fiona: What was she crying about?
Aimee: Herself. She ran out of lip gloss. Oooh! Poor me!
B**ch.
Madison does some really LAME defending.
Madison: I think Ivy's got a problem.
Aimee: NO KIDDING!
Fiona: HAHAHAHAHA! [I hate her, too]
Madison: No, you two, I'm serious. I think maybe she has a real problem.
Fiona: You're serious?
Aimee: Like, what problem? What do you know that you aren't telling us?
Madison: I just...I don't know anything for sure. But I just think that maybe Ivy is really sad. Maybe she's not being a drama queen for once.
Fiona: I guess you could be right.
Aimee: Please! I can't stay for the pity party.
For the love of God, Aimee!! Who's an emotional freezer now? She doesn't even care!! And Madison just laughs along with her to the pity party comment.
Is it sad that I'm getting really riled about what a fictional character is saying??
Whatever. She's a STUPID fictional character.
Lo and behold! The girls come upon a lady whose son has autism!
Madison: It's so weird that you saw Mrs. Reynolds like that, because I was just wondering about autism.
Aimee: Huh? You were? Maddie, why were you wondering about that?
Madison: Oh, I don't know, Aim, I saw a TV show on autism once...and I-I've always wondered about it. That's all.
Aimee: That's so random, Maddie.
Dude, holy crap. Is Aimee THAT OBLIVIOUS?? What a crappy friend.
Now that Fran is rich, she takes Madison on a joyous shopping spree.
Dang, my parents are the opposite of rich right now.
Stupid gas prices.
And they run into Paige and Ivy Daly at the mall!! Awkward...
I think Mrs. Daly is bald. That's how I pictured her, anyway.
Awww...Ivy is so sad about her mom.
But she also doesn't want anyone to start treating her like a leper because she has a sick mom.
That's the Ivy we know and love. You were scaring me for a minute there, Ivy.
Omg, Mrs. Daly has an asthma attack! Or something. Does cancer affect the respiratory system, too?
Mrs. Daly just randomly throws her arms around Madison and kisses her on the cheek. WHOA. There's this thing we call "The Bubble". You're not respecting it.
For her last journal assignment, Madison has to write a piece from someone else's point of view, so she writes about Ivy. It's pretty depressing.
Yay, Eddie's made progress! He can talk now!!
Maybe he'll grow up to be like the autistic kids at my school who are really good at spelling.
But that's assuming all autistic kids have some sort of superpower when in fact they're just normal kids...sort of.
Surprise! Hart comes over.
And he ran the entire way???
Ha ha, like in #16. "Are you okay?" "Oh yeah, I have asthma."
Chocolate cookies are overrated.
But both Madison and Hart like them. They have SOOOO much in common!!
Wh-What?
Hart: Are you okay?
Madison: No.
And she tells him all about what's been going on...and he listens??? That's cool.
But then, out of the blue, he's all, "You're really nice." Which makes you wonder if he was really listening.
They agree to "do something"...as in go on a date.
Hart: You know...I should tell you something.
Madison: What?
Hart: Well, do you remember the day when you and I collided at school? And your bag fell apart?
Madison: Yeah?
Hart: Well...I saw your journal that day. I saw what you wrote.
Madison: Saw what?
Hart: I saw my name on that page.
Then he just LEAVES!!! MIXED-MESSAGES!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN????
But then Fran comes home and says, "Hart run all the way here? He loves you!"
So everything is okay.
Madison's Computer Tip:
If you want to keep your thoughts and feelings secret, don't write them down in a blog.
Well, I obviously DON'T.
Hm, fun fun fun.
The next one takes place in NYC, so it should be sparkly and fun, according to the back cover.
Agh, I started reading #21, which I'd never read before, and it's a little disappointing. But whatever. I'll be here forever, so expect more later.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Happy Fictional Father's Day!!!, or FTFO Madison Finn #18: Give Me a Break
It's Father's Day!! Yay!!! This is the day where I thank God for giving me a father more able than Jeff Finn.
Ironically, Madison Finn #18 involves fathers. Sort of. It's mostly about friendship and superstition, but Jeff takes Madison on a big ski trip, so it's pretty appropriate.
Wth? In the library summary, they make it sound like Madison has to choose between Fiona and Aimee, but Fiona's already going somewhere for the holidays, so picking her isn't even an option.
I highly doubt the person who wrote that read the book.
Plot: Winter Break is here and Madison expects to be bored out of her wits. She is so jealous of her friend, Fiona, who is going to California for the holidays. UNFAIR!!!
Then Jeff Finn has a brilliant idea: why doesn't he take his wife, daughter, and best friend to a 5 star ski resort???? Wouldn't that be fun??
Honestly? Sounds like one of the BSC vacations, where the parents pay for EVERYONE.
Madison is all for it. She grabs Aimee and they head off to Big Mountain (seriously, that's the name.)
Unfortunately, they keep running into bad luck!! On the drive up the mountain, they get TWO flat tires. They also rent a HAUNTED cabin, and get into fights!!
It's just omen after bad omen!!!
Not only that, Aimee is being totally snobby, and Madison blames HER for all the bad luck.
After Madison chooses a cute boy to be her ski partner rather than Aimee, Aimee flies in a jealous rage down the mountain...and sprains her wrist!!
This is either the worst vacation or the best vacation ever.
I'm enjoying it.
Madison is so angry at Aimee. She ruined their vacation!!! Aimee sacrifices TLC and good medical care, however, to let Madison enjoy the slopes for two more days. Wow. She's a good friend...especially since Maddie's such a brat in this one.
Even more bad luck!!! Madison realizes all her superstitions are stupid and breaks down...but Aimee is there to boost her ego and say, "No, all your superstitions aren't dumb! I believe them!"
That way, Amiee has to apologize first and nothing is expected of Madison.
So lame. Anyway, they are friends forever.
More notes:
Fiona wears a lot of purple, specifically the shade "grape".
Egg knocks Devo and Tears for Fears. Jerk.
"The truth was that Aimee, Madison, and Fiona had gone to a few hockey games - and practices, too. Fiona went because her brother was on the team and because she wanted to see Egg in slap-shot action. Madison went to ogle Hart in his ice skates."
Wth? They actually let other students come to practice??? SOOOO prohibited at my school. Lol!! "Oooooh...your ice skates are SOOOOO hot...score another goal..."
Aw, poor Madison and Aimee. Fiona is going to California for winter break!!! Madison and Aimee have to watch hot boys play hockey and work at the Cyber Cafe (for money!!!).
Madison finds a chain letter Aimee receives and FREAKS OUT!! They HAVE to send it to five people or they'll have FIVE YEARS OF BAD LUCK.
Oooo, I'm scared. They send a copy to Poison Ivy.
Why are they so mean to her???
Whaaaat? Maddie might not be into Hart anymore???
LAAAAME. Hart doesn't have the balls to ask her out, and Madison doesn't want to make the first move, either.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought the cute guy next door was named JOSH. Madison seems to think his name is Toby.
Nooooooo. That would be the random high school guy you met in #11 whilst walking your dog.
She reminisces about Mark and how she messed up because she NEVER e-mailed him (but he never exactly e-mailed her, either).
Whoas. How rich is Madison's dad? They're staying in a 5 star resort, and Madison can take her friend AND her dog.
On the last day of school before winter break, all the teachers show movies instead of teaching class.
AS IT SHOULD BE.
Aimee screws up things with Hart. She not only embarasses him, but implies that Maddie should find someone new.
WHY ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH HER, MADDIE?
BIGWHEELS IS SICK AGAIN!!! I bet tomorrow her computer will crash, but as soon as she gets a new one, she'll be grounded, and then when she finally gets to use her e-mail again, she'll be sick.
It's a vicious cycle.
Bigwheels wants to meet Maddie in person.
Aaagh...what if she's really a creepy child molestor!?
Oh no, Madison has no cute ski clothes! She'll be laughed off the slopes!
So far, Madison has a sweatshirt, ski pants, a jacket, and some jeans.
If you never change clothes, that could last you a few days.
"Even though Madison was feeling much more alert, Aimee's high-pitched squeals were still over the top."
I hate morning people.
Agh, my dog woke me up at 6:15 this morning, but when I want to be awake and play with her, she's tired and wants to go to bed.
??? I thought you were a terrier!
They hear the same song on the radio within ten minutes!!
Good omen!!!
Jeff gets lost and refuses to ask for directions.
Here's to Dad's who never ask for directions!! Yaaaay!
Two flat tires!!! And Jeff forgot his AAA card!! They'll never get a tow now!
Stephanie totally chews him out...then pulls out HER AAA card for him to use.
Why didn't you just give it to him in the first place?
Lol. They go to a love calculator website. Those crack me up, but Madison TOTALLY takes them seriously.
Hart and Madison have only a 26% chance of romance!! Say it isn't so!!!
Madison has a better (85%) chance with EGG!!! Ew.
Aimee and Ben have a 74% chance. Ew, I hate them both.
Uh oh. Hart and Ivy have an 81% chance of romance.
Lol. Madison's ideal love connection is Philip Ayres, who sits next to her in math class.
So she types in her and Hart's MIDDLE names and they get an 81% chance, just like Hart and Ivy.
Ew, Hart's middle name is Jefferson???
Oh no, Madison sees a black cat! Bad omen?
Nope. It's just a squirrel.
Aimee makes fun of Hart, because he's a commitmentphobe.
Then again, this is junior high, but getting played kind of sucks.
Lol. The skylights open and it snows in their cabin. Bad omen.
Then again, they now have their own personal ski trail.
NOYCE!!! The resort reimburses them for one night's stay, and pays for their lift tickets AND lunch!!
HOLY CRAP!!
If I'd been there, I would be shoveling snow into my cabin every DAY!!
The manager even sends them APOLOGY BREAKFAST!!! Pastries and yogurt!!! sWeEt!!!
AAargh. Madison spills the salt, screams, and tosses it over her shoulder...which blinds Phinnie for life.
Wth???
"Aimee unzipped her suitcase and took out a perfectly matched outfit - a pair of purple ski pants and an orange fleece pullover. Underneath, she would wear a little shirt with flowers embroidered across the neckline."
Purple and ORANGE??? What about that is MATCHING???? Madison's jealous that Aimee is so "fashionable". I think the appropriate word is "color-blind".
Red pants, a black T-shirt, and a pink hat doesn't work that well, either, but I guess the point is to stay warm.
Oooh, an exotic Spanish ski instructor.
Aimee is in lust.
Aimee: We're here for lessons.
Ski instructor: Are you? Well, I'm the instructor.
Madison: Can we sign up for you?
Aimee: She means, can we register for you and your lessons?
Ski instructor: Certainly. I'm Carlos. Let me get Jennifer. She will help you get signed up.
Mmmmm, Carlos, I want to learn how to ski. Lol.
Aimee totally throws herself at Carlos, but when Madison spazzes out about a piece of strawberry stuck in her teeth, Aimee is all, "He's only the ski instructor, Maddie."
*cough* HYPOCRITE *cough*
Whoas. Stephanie and Dad buy Madison sunglasses, gloves, a ski suit, and a headband.
It would suck to be Aimee in that situation.
Ooh, the ski pants have a bib. Yay, ski overalls!
Oooh, Madison runs into a cute boy named Hugh Jackson.
H...J. Hey, he has the same initials as Hart Jones!
Foster Lane, Aimee's favorite movie star, is at the resort!!!
That would suck if there was a celebrity at your resort...but it was someone you despised, like Tori Spelling.
"When Aimee set her mind to something, she was often successful. Maybe it was a combination of always speaking her mind and batting her eyelashes."
Hugh: freckles, green eyes, blond hair.
In other words, Zac Efron!!!
Jeff gives Madison and Aimee necklaces with a bunny charm. Oh, I get it! Snow bunnies!!! -_-
Ugh, of course, Madison has to go overboard and convince herself that the snow bunny necklace is good luck.
Lol. Aimee takes off the necklace because it doesn't match her outfit. Madison's like, "NOOOO, BAD LUCK, BAD LUCK!"
Stephanie believes in a superstition about sneezing.
One for sorrow, two for joy, three for a letter, four for a boy, five for silver, six for gold, seven for a secret never to be told.
What is that supposed to mean?? And I thought it was seven for DEATH.
Because we were talking about that in math, and then Sam sneezed four times in a row, so Mr. Kovacs was all, "4 sneezes closer to DEATH!" It was pretty hilarious.
LAAAAAME. The waiter tells them a story about Mr. White, who supposedly froze to death outside his cabin. Wait. MADISON'S cabin was once his cabin!!
How is she believing this??? HE'S A WAITER!!!
Stephanie leaves to go to the bathroom when Madison and Aimee start talking about old memories when Maddie's parents were still together, and Madison flips out at Aimee. "Why did you start talking about my mom!!1?? It made Stephanie cry!!"
Aagh. Aimee blows up at Madison, and understandably so.
Owl: Hoooo hoooo hoooo.
Madison: Oh no! THree times! Bad luck!
Aimee: Huh? Three what? Maddie, stop obsessing about your stupid superstitions!
Madison: What do you mean, stupid?
Aimee: I mean, can you please stop being so neurotic for five minutes and just go back to sleep?
Madison: Neurotic? Quit acting like you know everything.
Aimee: What do you mean by that? I don't know everything. Who said I knew everything?
Madison says some nasty stuff about Aimee's ballet ability, and Aimee snaps back.
Girls....
Aimee and Stephanie have a special bonding time.
I would be soooo jealous.
Lol. Madison fell asleep on her bunny charm and it made a HUGE indent in her face.
Madison writes Bigwheels and complains about how slutty Aimee is and how much she's CHANGED.
Um, isn't Aimee flirty ALL THE TIME?? And you go for older guys, too, Madison, so don't be mean to your best friend.
Hmm, Hugh lives in Reston, which is close to Far Hills. Love Connection!
Isn't Reston that town where the Sandy girl in Pony Pals #19 was moving??
Sorry.
Madison tells Aimee she's acting like Poison Ivy.
I think spending time with Poison Ivy would be preferable to listening to Madison moan.
Lol. Aimee has to be partners with some girl...but Madison is partners with Hugh.
Then Aimee gets mad when Madison won't switch partners. Hello, hot guy, more important than friendship, obviously.
Hugh: Your friend looks bummed. You should ski with her.
Madison: I do everything with her. I would rather ski with you.
Whoa, Maddie. How positively bold of you.
Aimee falls down the mountain!!!!! No lie!!!
How would a broken wrist prevent you from dancing in a ballet recital?? I want to know.
At least it's only a sprain...but it will be in a cast for 4 weeks. Ouch.
Madison is so selfish. Her best friend just hurt her wrist and needs to go home, and the only thing Madison cares about is her vacation.
Argh. Madison is convinced the accident happened because neither girl wore their ski bunny charm.
Bad timing. Gramma Helen, not knowing about Aimee's accident, sends Madison an e-mail that says, "Don't fall of the mountain!"
Fiona e-mails about her brother Chet's sprained foot and complains about how she can't do ANYTHING now. Hello, your BROTHER sprained his foot, not you. Just ditch him and go have fun. You're in CALIFORNIA!
Heeeeey...Drew's gf's name is ELAINE, not Emily. Unless he broke up with Elaine and started going out with a new girl...whose name ALSO happens to begin with E.
Aw. Aimee decides to stay so Madison can enjoy her vacation.
Madison totally does NOT thank her best friend.
Ooh, Madison puts on MAKEUP to impress Hugh. Lol. If only she knew what was coming.
They practice on a slope called Four-Leaf Clover.
Good omen!
Ewwww, root beer.
They ask if CARLOS, the 25-year-old Spanish ski instructor, will be Aimee's true love. Yeah, I see that happening.
Yay, the chain letter worked!! Ivy got gum in her hair!! So mean.
I hate people that only apologize when the other person did. Aimee says she believes in superstitions and that she's sorry for almost ruining the vacation because she was dumb (the accident was NO accident; she was just showing off). Madison apologizes, but doesn't specify what she's sorry about. Meaning she's not really sorry. -_-
OH NO! Hugh can't ski with Madison anymore! He'd rather go skiing with his friends and parents, and ski demos are lame anyway.
Madison freaks out!! She acts like they were dating or something, when, in actuality, they've known each other 2 days. Totally overreacting.
AND overdramatic. "I'm...all...alone!!! *sob*"
To show Madison she is a good friend, Aimee wears her snow bunny necklace, which restores Madison's faith in good and bad luck and omens and so forth.
They met Foster Lane, but Madison doesn't think he is cute because he has acne.
It's not like people CHOOSE to have acne. My brother has it, and my friends are always asking all slyly, "Mmmm, who's he??" It's creepy. And weird.
"Maybe everything happened so we could see that the best lucky charm was with us all along--each other."
GAG! This isn't "Sesame Street".
Lol. Madison and Aimee play that apple game where you twist off the stem and poke through the skin. Aimee gets WD, for Walter Diaz!!! But he's supposed to be Madison's "true love"? Oh well.
Madison gets HJ, and is like, "Oh no, not Hugh!" Um, duh. Hart Jones.
WHOA. As soon as Madison gets home, Hart IMs her and asks if she would like to go skating with him. Well, him, and all their friends, but still.
Okay, and it WAS on IM, but it's a start.
Madison's Computer Tip:
The Internet is a great place to search for trends, fashion tips, and other ideas about what's hot - and in my case, what's not.
Fun, fun, fun. The next book is more serious, and a little lamer, as Madison takes out her frustrations on Poison Ivy. It's like permanent PMS or something. Hopefully she'll be better by #20.
Ironically, Madison Finn #18 involves fathers. Sort of. It's mostly about friendship and superstition, but Jeff takes Madison on a big ski trip, so it's pretty appropriate.
Wth? In the library summary, they make it sound like Madison has to choose between Fiona and Aimee, but Fiona's already going somewhere for the holidays, so picking her isn't even an option.
I highly doubt the person who wrote that read the book.
Plot: Winter Break is here and Madison expects to be bored out of her wits. She is so jealous of her friend, Fiona, who is going to California for the holidays. UNFAIR!!!
Then Jeff Finn has a brilliant idea: why doesn't he take his wife, daughter, and best friend to a 5 star ski resort???? Wouldn't that be fun??
Honestly? Sounds like one of the BSC vacations, where the parents pay for EVERYONE.
Madison is all for it. She grabs Aimee and they head off to Big Mountain (seriously, that's the name.)
Unfortunately, they keep running into bad luck!! On the drive up the mountain, they get TWO flat tires. They also rent a HAUNTED cabin, and get into fights!!
It's just omen after bad omen!!!
Not only that, Aimee is being totally snobby, and Madison blames HER for all the bad luck.
After Madison chooses a cute boy to be her ski partner rather than Aimee, Aimee flies in a jealous rage down the mountain...and sprains her wrist!!
This is either the worst vacation or the best vacation ever.
I'm enjoying it.
Madison is so angry at Aimee. She ruined their vacation!!! Aimee sacrifices TLC and good medical care, however, to let Madison enjoy the slopes for two more days. Wow. She's a good friend...especially since Maddie's such a brat in this one.
Even more bad luck!!! Madison realizes all her superstitions are stupid and breaks down...but Aimee is there to boost her ego and say, "No, all your superstitions aren't dumb! I believe them!"
That way, Amiee has to apologize first and nothing is expected of Madison.
So lame. Anyway, they are friends forever.
More notes:
Fiona wears a lot of purple, specifically the shade "grape".
Egg knocks Devo and Tears for Fears. Jerk.
"The truth was that Aimee, Madison, and Fiona had gone to a few hockey games - and practices, too. Fiona went because her brother was on the team and because she wanted to see Egg in slap-shot action. Madison went to ogle Hart in his ice skates."
Wth? They actually let other students come to practice??? SOOOO prohibited at my school. Lol!! "Oooooh...your ice skates are SOOOOO hot...score another goal..."
Aw, poor Madison and Aimee. Fiona is going to California for winter break!!! Madison and Aimee have to watch hot boys play hockey and work at the Cyber Cafe (for money!!!).
Madison finds a chain letter Aimee receives and FREAKS OUT!! They HAVE to send it to five people or they'll have FIVE YEARS OF BAD LUCK.
Oooo, I'm scared. They send a copy to Poison Ivy.
Why are they so mean to her???
Whaaaat? Maddie might not be into Hart anymore???
LAAAAME. Hart doesn't have the balls to ask her out, and Madison doesn't want to make the first move, either.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought the cute guy next door was named JOSH. Madison seems to think his name is Toby.
Nooooooo. That would be the random high school guy you met in #11 whilst walking your dog.
She reminisces about Mark and how she messed up because she NEVER e-mailed him (but he never exactly e-mailed her, either).
Whoas. How rich is Madison's dad? They're staying in a 5 star resort, and Madison can take her friend AND her dog.
On the last day of school before winter break, all the teachers show movies instead of teaching class.
AS IT SHOULD BE.
Aimee screws up things with Hart. She not only embarasses him, but implies that Maddie should find someone new.
WHY ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH HER, MADDIE?
BIGWHEELS IS SICK AGAIN!!! I bet tomorrow her computer will crash, but as soon as she gets a new one, she'll be grounded, and then when she finally gets to use her e-mail again, she'll be sick.
It's a vicious cycle.
Bigwheels wants to meet Maddie in person.
Aaagh...what if she's really a creepy child molestor!?
Oh no, Madison has no cute ski clothes! She'll be laughed off the slopes!
So far, Madison has a sweatshirt, ski pants, a jacket, and some jeans.
If you never change clothes, that could last you a few days.
"Even though Madison was feeling much more alert, Aimee's high-pitched squeals were still over the top."
I hate morning people.
Agh, my dog woke me up at 6:15 this morning, but when I want to be awake and play with her, she's tired and wants to go to bed.
??? I thought you were a terrier!
They hear the same song on the radio within ten minutes!!
Good omen!!!
Jeff gets lost and refuses to ask for directions.
Here's to Dad's who never ask for directions!! Yaaaay!
Two flat tires!!! And Jeff forgot his AAA card!! They'll never get a tow now!
Stephanie totally chews him out...then pulls out HER AAA card for him to use.
Why didn't you just give it to him in the first place?
Lol. They go to a love calculator website. Those crack me up, but Madison TOTALLY takes them seriously.
Hart and Madison have only a 26% chance of romance!! Say it isn't so!!!
Madison has a better (85%) chance with EGG!!! Ew.
Aimee and Ben have a 74% chance. Ew, I hate them both.
Uh oh. Hart and Ivy have an 81% chance of romance.
Lol. Madison's ideal love connection is Philip Ayres, who sits next to her in math class.
So she types in her and Hart's MIDDLE names and they get an 81% chance, just like Hart and Ivy.
Ew, Hart's middle name is Jefferson???
Oh no, Madison sees a black cat! Bad omen?
Nope. It's just a squirrel.
Aimee makes fun of Hart, because he's a commitmentphobe.
Then again, this is junior high, but getting played kind of sucks.
Lol. The skylights open and it snows in their cabin. Bad omen.
Then again, they now have their own personal ski trail.
NOYCE!!! The resort reimburses them for one night's stay, and pays for their lift tickets AND lunch!!
HOLY CRAP!!
If I'd been there, I would be shoveling snow into my cabin every DAY!!
The manager even sends them APOLOGY BREAKFAST!!! Pastries and yogurt!!! sWeEt!!!
AAargh. Madison spills the salt, screams, and tosses it over her shoulder...which blinds Phinnie for life.
Wth???
"Aimee unzipped her suitcase and took out a perfectly matched outfit - a pair of purple ski pants and an orange fleece pullover. Underneath, she would wear a little shirt with flowers embroidered across the neckline."
Purple and ORANGE??? What about that is MATCHING???? Madison's jealous that Aimee is so "fashionable". I think the appropriate word is "color-blind".
Red pants, a black T-shirt, and a pink hat doesn't work that well, either, but I guess the point is to stay warm.
Oooh, an exotic Spanish ski instructor.
Aimee is in lust.
Aimee: We're here for lessons.
Ski instructor: Are you? Well, I'm the instructor.
Madison: Can we sign up for you?
Aimee: She means, can we register for you and your lessons?
Ski instructor: Certainly. I'm Carlos. Let me get Jennifer. She will help you get signed up.
Mmmmm, Carlos, I want to learn how to ski. Lol.
Aimee totally throws herself at Carlos, but when Madison spazzes out about a piece of strawberry stuck in her teeth, Aimee is all, "He's only the ski instructor, Maddie."
*cough* HYPOCRITE *cough*
Whoas. Stephanie and Dad buy Madison sunglasses, gloves, a ski suit, and a headband.
It would suck to be Aimee in that situation.
Ooh, the ski pants have a bib. Yay, ski overalls!
Oooh, Madison runs into a cute boy named Hugh Jackson.
H...J. Hey, he has the same initials as Hart Jones!
Foster Lane, Aimee's favorite movie star, is at the resort!!!
That would suck if there was a celebrity at your resort...but it was someone you despised, like Tori Spelling.
"When Aimee set her mind to something, she was often successful. Maybe it was a combination of always speaking her mind and batting her eyelashes."
Hugh: freckles, green eyes, blond hair.
In other words, Zac Efron!!!
Jeff gives Madison and Aimee necklaces with a bunny charm. Oh, I get it! Snow bunnies!!! -_-
Ugh, of course, Madison has to go overboard and convince herself that the snow bunny necklace is good luck.
Lol. Aimee takes off the necklace because it doesn't match her outfit. Madison's like, "NOOOO, BAD LUCK, BAD LUCK!"
Stephanie believes in a superstition about sneezing.
One for sorrow, two for joy, three for a letter, four for a boy, five for silver, six for gold, seven for a secret never to be told.
What is that supposed to mean?? And I thought it was seven for DEATH.
Because we were talking about that in math, and then Sam sneezed four times in a row, so Mr. Kovacs was all, "4 sneezes closer to DEATH!" It was pretty hilarious.
LAAAAAME. The waiter tells them a story about Mr. White, who supposedly froze to death outside his cabin. Wait. MADISON'S cabin was once his cabin!!
How is she believing this??? HE'S A WAITER!!!
Stephanie leaves to go to the bathroom when Madison and Aimee start talking about old memories when Maddie's parents were still together, and Madison flips out at Aimee. "Why did you start talking about my mom!!1?? It made Stephanie cry!!"
Aagh. Aimee blows up at Madison, and understandably so.
Owl: Hoooo hoooo hoooo.
Madison: Oh no! THree times! Bad luck!
Aimee: Huh? Three what? Maddie, stop obsessing about your stupid superstitions!
Madison: What do you mean, stupid?
Aimee: I mean, can you please stop being so neurotic for five minutes and just go back to sleep?
Madison: Neurotic? Quit acting like you know everything.
Aimee: What do you mean by that? I don't know everything. Who said I knew everything?
Madison says some nasty stuff about Aimee's ballet ability, and Aimee snaps back.
Girls....
Aimee and Stephanie have a special bonding time.
I would be soooo jealous.
Lol. Madison fell asleep on her bunny charm and it made a HUGE indent in her face.
Madison writes Bigwheels and complains about how slutty Aimee is and how much she's CHANGED.
Um, isn't Aimee flirty ALL THE TIME?? And you go for older guys, too, Madison, so don't be mean to your best friend.
Hmm, Hugh lives in Reston, which is close to Far Hills. Love Connection!
Isn't Reston that town where the Sandy girl in Pony Pals #19 was moving??
Sorry.
Madison tells Aimee she's acting like Poison Ivy.
I think spending time with Poison Ivy would be preferable to listening to Madison moan.
Lol. Aimee has to be partners with some girl...but Madison is partners with Hugh.
Then Aimee gets mad when Madison won't switch partners. Hello, hot guy, more important than friendship, obviously.
Hugh: Your friend looks bummed. You should ski with her.
Madison: I do everything with her. I would rather ski with you.
Whoa, Maddie. How positively bold of you.
Aimee falls down the mountain!!!!! No lie!!!
How would a broken wrist prevent you from dancing in a ballet recital?? I want to know.
At least it's only a sprain...but it will be in a cast for 4 weeks. Ouch.
Madison is so selfish. Her best friend just hurt her wrist and needs to go home, and the only thing Madison cares about is her vacation.
Argh. Madison is convinced the accident happened because neither girl wore their ski bunny charm.
Bad timing. Gramma Helen, not knowing about Aimee's accident, sends Madison an e-mail that says, "Don't fall of the mountain!"
Fiona e-mails about her brother Chet's sprained foot and complains about how she can't do ANYTHING now. Hello, your BROTHER sprained his foot, not you. Just ditch him and go have fun. You're in CALIFORNIA!
Heeeeey...Drew's gf's name is ELAINE, not Emily. Unless he broke up with Elaine and started going out with a new girl...whose name ALSO happens to begin with E.
Aw. Aimee decides to stay so Madison can enjoy her vacation.
Madison totally does NOT thank her best friend.
Ooh, Madison puts on MAKEUP to impress Hugh. Lol. If only she knew what was coming.
They practice on a slope called Four-Leaf Clover.
Good omen!
Ewwww, root beer.
They ask if CARLOS, the 25-year-old Spanish ski instructor, will be Aimee's true love. Yeah, I see that happening.
Yay, the chain letter worked!! Ivy got gum in her hair!! So mean.
I hate people that only apologize when the other person did. Aimee says she believes in superstitions and that she's sorry for almost ruining the vacation because she was dumb (the accident was NO accident; she was just showing off). Madison apologizes, but doesn't specify what she's sorry about. Meaning she's not really sorry. -_-
OH NO! Hugh can't ski with Madison anymore! He'd rather go skiing with his friends and parents, and ski demos are lame anyway.
Madison freaks out!! She acts like they were dating or something, when, in actuality, they've known each other 2 days. Totally overreacting.
AND overdramatic. "I'm...all...alone!!! *sob*"
To show Madison she is a good friend, Aimee wears her snow bunny necklace, which restores Madison's faith in good and bad luck and omens and so forth.
They met Foster Lane, but Madison doesn't think he is cute because he has acne.
It's not like people CHOOSE to have acne. My brother has it, and my friends are always asking all slyly, "Mmmm, who's he??" It's creepy. And weird.
"Maybe everything happened so we could see that the best lucky charm was with us all along--each other."
GAG! This isn't "Sesame Street".
Lol. Madison and Aimee play that apple game where you twist off the stem and poke through the skin. Aimee gets WD, for Walter Diaz!!! But he's supposed to be Madison's "true love"? Oh well.
Madison gets HJ, and is like, "Oh no, not Hugh!" Um, duh. Hart Jones.
WHOA. As soon as Madison gets home, Hart IMs her and asks if she would like to go skating with him. Well, him, and all their friends, but still.
Okay, and it WAS on IM, but it's a start.
Madison's Computer Tip:
The Internet is a great place to search for trends, fashion tips, and other ideas about what's hot - and in my case, what's not.
Fun, fun, fun. The next book is more serious, and a little lamer, as Madison takes out her frustrations on Poison Ivy. It's like permanent PMS or something. Hopefully she'll be better by #20.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
There's just something about older men, or FTFO Madison Finn #16: Three's a Crowd
As school has been ending and Tie has been chewing up all my slippers, there's nothing I've felt like doing less than posting on this blog.
Wait. Does that sentence even work?
Oh well. I've just been busy. I think I read this book sometime in the beginning of May, too. I probably won't remember what the page markers even mean.
Plot: Madison feels terrible. She has the flu and is being forced to stay home for close to a week!! Not that she cares; who likes school?
She starts to go a little stir-crazy, however, when her busy mom calls Gramma Helen over from Chicago to take care of Madison, and Gramma Helen is very old-fashioned. Madison isn't even allowed to go on her laptop!!
The final straw is when Madison notices a cute guy who lives across the street. Whaaat??? How could she have not noticed him before??? His name is Josh, he plays hockey, and communicates with Madison via bedroom window (he writes notes for her to see, like, "How R U?").
When Madison finally gets back to school, she is in LUV. She follows Josh around, has lots of wonderfuly intellectual conversations with him, and ends up blowing off Hart several times. Uh oh.
One day, while at Freeze Palace with her dad, Madison runs into Josh...and his GIRLFRIEND!!! :O
She is heartbroken, of course.
Then her friends cheer her up and Madison realizes they never had a chance anyway.
Then she goes off and hangs with Hart.
More notes:
Today's Mental Floss:
If an international airliner crashed exactly on the U.S.-Mexican border, where would authorities be required to bury the survivors!!
When I first got this book, I tried to figure this out for 10 minutes and failed.
They have a big English assignment on any topic of their choosing - except for extreme sports, serial killers, video games, or biographies of current celebrities, rap stars, or sports stars.
There goes my idea.
Weird. Madison and Fiona get sick at the SAME TIME.
Egg and Fiona are so weird and couple-y. It would be super awkward to hang out with them.
Back to the mental floss: Why would anyone bury survivors??? HAHAHAHA! Dang. I wish I'd guessed that.
"Get thyselves to the nurse's office, young ladies, before we all catch your bugs, okay?"
Why is Mr. Gibbons trying to sound like Shakespeare?
Nurse Shim still creeps me out.
Whoa, they all have fevers of 102.
Aimee's sick, too!! Weeeird.
AAAAGH. I hate that you can't leave school when you're sick without parental consent, even if you live 2 minutes away. I couldn't get ahold of either parent for a LONG TIME when I got sick and they almost made me stay and suffer at school. Raaaah.
But Madison finally called her dad, like I did, so she was able to go home.
OMG!!! Madison sneezes on Hart's sweater, and I mean SNEEZES. There's a HUGE loogie on his shirt.
But Hart seems to be okay with it?
Ewww, tofu broth!!?? Who would want to drink that when they're sick? Wouldn't it just make them sicker?
My brother started eating tofu recently, and he says it tastes like a diaper, but he loves it.
Possibly because he pours Johnny's Tenderizing Seasoning Salt all over it before he eats it.
Mom: You know what? You look pale.
Madison: But I always look pale, don't I?
We were talking about that in jazz band. Paul felt the need to mention that I was the second-whitest kid in school, after him. Thanks, Paul.
Psych, Madison has bronchitis.
And her friends just have colds. How lame is that?
Madison's mom and dad always pick fights. Not awkward, or anything.
But Jeff comes over with chicken, and Fran offers him wine when she knows he doesn't drink?
"Well, I'll leave you to your chicken."
That sounds so weird, but fun to say.
Sick people just want TLC.
"It was a boy. He had red hair, or at least it appeared red under the street lamp. He wore an old corduroy jacket, ripped jeans, and lumberjack boots. The big dog sniffed madly at a hydrant."
Lol. In 7th grade there was a boy in my neighborhood with dachsunds, and I was like, "Omg, boyz!!" But he's shorter than me, now, and I don't know what happened to his dogs.
Yay!! If my grandma came over to take care of me when I was sick, I'd be so excited.
Only my grandma lives in Washington, so I see her all the time.
If Grandma Nina came over, it'd be pretty cool, though. I haven't seen her in 2 years.
Awww, Dan e-mails her. I love that boy.
Someone told me ur sick. No way b/c I am @ the clinic $ there are 5 lizards here right now and they are sick 2!!! I had 2 tell u b/c u always laff @ stuff like that.
He names the lizards Wizzy, Fizzy, Dizzy, Tizzy, and Lizzy.
-_-
Then Egg offers to pick up her and Fiona's homework.
At the end of the e-mail, he grudgingly offers to pick up Aimee's, too. Lol.
Hey, you can like 2 guys at the same time. Nothing wrong with that.
Strange. Gramma Helen got a fortune cookie that said she would be traveling to faraway places, and here she is in New York!
Connor got one that said, "You like Chinese Food."
Lol, Gramma's like, "You lay in bed, and I'll run a eucalyptus bubble bath and make some saltwater gurgle while the cold-air vaporizer charges," and Madison's like, "Whatever, Gramma, can we just play cards?"
The girls always talk about how mean Poison Ivy is, but Lindsay sends them this e-mail that's practically 8 pages of ridiculing her outfit.
I guess she never really got over the whole "Fat Camp Loser" thing.
:O HART BLEW OFF POISON IVY!!
They were supposed to work on the English project together, but he stood her up and then pretended not to know what she was talking about.
Okay, even if it is Poison Ivy, that's really mean. Hart's a jerk.
Hart might like another girl besides Ivy...but that could be anyone.
Come on, Madison, it's so you.
Chicken lemon orzo soup???
I'd rather have orange juice and crackers.
Bigwheels is all, "Omg, I found this website where you can send free e-cards!!"
Aren't there millions of those sites around??? They're not exactly a new invention, Bigwheels.
Madison tells Bigwheels about the new boy:
"I had this dream last night that he was spying on me and wanted to meet me."
Wow. That would've creeped me out.
Agh, I love optical illusions, which is what Madison, Aimee, Fiona, and Lindsay pick for their English project.
I remember reading "The Outsiders"!
"Stay gold, Ponyboy."
Egg comes over with Madison's homework, and Gramma Helen FREAKS OUT. "Did I meet this boy the last time I visited? Why are boys calling on you when you're sick in bed?"
She sounds like my dad. Kevin, Alexis, and I bought ice cream at 7/11 and my dad was like, "Who's he?? Is he your friend? Is he in band? Well, of course he's in band. Oh, hi Alexis."
WHOA. Egg apparently knows EVERYTHING about Madison's hot neighbor! His name's Josh, he's in 9th grade (ooooh, an older boy! Lol), he plays hockey, and is friends with Drew.
Then Egg suddenly gets defensive and is like, "What about Hart, Maddie?"
ROFL! "I thought you dug Hart."
Can you dig it? Yes, I can. I've been waiting such a long time for Saturday.
Sorry. Chicago moment.
Oooooh. Egg crushes all of Maddie's hopes and dreams!
Madison: Does Hart know...that I like him?
Egg: I think so. But so what? He doesn't care.
:O WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT???
Madison: He doesn't care?
Egg: I don't know what he thinks. We don't really talk about it.
EGG! THAT'S DIFFERENT THAN NOT CARING!!
What is it about older guys that make girls giggle incessantly???
Possibly because all the guys our own age aren't as hot??
Bigwheels sends this dumb list of things to do when you're sick. It's supposed to be hilarious.
Gramma's like, "A laptop? How fascinating. Show me how this titillating contraption works! I want to send an e-mail to Mabel!"
Frannie thinks work is more important than her daughter. How lame is that?
Whatever happened to Blossom's puppies? I want one.
Lindsay stalks Josh for a day and finds out the following information:
His full name is Josh Turner.
He's in 9th grade.
He plays hockey.
He also plays the accordion AND the tuba????
He's single.
Madison has cute pajama pants. I'm sort of jealous.
Then again, I have boxers!! :P
AAAAGH!! She spies Josh through her window.
He says "Hi There" and then goes to bed when Madison can't think up a fitting reply.
The secret is revealed:
Maybe I'll see him in the hallway and he'll ask me to have lunch with him at his table in the cafeteria. That would just burn Poison Ivy if I got to sit with the ninth graders at lunch!!
:P The girls at my school who are dating juniors are so annoying, like they're so much better than the rest of us. But, then again, it would be cool to be like, "Hehehe, your boyriend is 5'6". My boyfriend can drive...AND SHAVE!"
Ew. It's so nasty when you don't shower or change clothes when you're sick.
OMG, HART WAS ASKING ABOUT MADISON AT SCHOOL.
He asked Dan, which is sort of cold.
"I'm worried about the girl we both like, Dan. Do you know anything about her? Is she feeling okay?"
Hart is SUCH A JERK to have led Poison Ivy on this whole time. He thinks she's annoying and has an attitude and wishes she would just go away.
WHY DIDN'T YOU THINK THAT BEFORE??? She's shown her true colors so many times. Why do you have to be so mean NOW?
Uh oh. Would having a ninth-grader boyfriend be cooler than having HART as a boyfriend?
Maddie, say it isn't so!!
Whoas. If my kid was sick, I wouldn't go out of town until they were better.
Geez, Frannie.
Madison "talks" (via window) to Josh again, but he gets bored and turns off his lamp. BAD SIGN.
Madison wishes that Josh Turner would fall madly in love with her.
Awww.
We were watching Pam Stenzel, and she was talking about how older boys are creepy and can't get anyone to date them, so younger girls shouldn't, either.
When you put it that way, it's kind of true.
Frannie is dumping her only kid with Gramma Helen for a week, and when Madison says she wants a little time away from her overly nice old-fashioned Gramma, Fran's all, "You should be grateful, bla bla bla."
Way to justify leaving your sick kid at home. She's probably just leaving to get away from Helen, anyways. Quit being a hypocrite, Fran.
A boy comes to visit...and it's Egg. Again.
Surprise!! Hart and Drew are with him.
Wait...Lindsay made fun of Ivy's brown sweater near the beginning of the book...now Hart's wearing one.
:O!
Was Ivy wearing Hart's sweater??? So much for not liking her.
Or maybe...WHOA! This is like a soap opera!!!
And Hart is still a jerk.
Hart gives her flowers.
Madison's like, "Omg! *swoon*"
But it turns out they were from her dad and were sitting on the front porch.
Ooooooh.
Egg is so mean!
Madison: The flowers are from my dad.
Egg: Duh. Who else would send you flowers?
Surprise! Josh comes over. Madison spazzes out.
Hart tries to engage Madison in conversation, but she's like, "Uh-huh, yeah. So, Josh...."
Then she asks him [Hart] all these questions about Josh. Way to be heartless, Maddie.
Surprise! Madison's hair is a mess and her T-shirt is stained. Mwahaha. Murphy's law.
Gramma turns out to be a Betty. Who dated OLDER BOYS!!
Fran apparently dated every boy in Far Hills.
OMG, GRAMMA DATED SOMEONE FOUR AND A HALF YEARS OLDER THAN HER!! AT 16!!!
That's like me dating my brother. Only we're not related, but it's still semi-illegal, were we to have sex, but we wouldn't, but people would assume he's a pervert anyway, which he probably IS.
Mmm, this older gentlemen was named Charlie Francis. Helen liked the way he wore his ties. Euphemism for something else?
He asked her out when he was 20 and she was SIXTEEN!!!!
They also talk about Mackie, the butcher's son, and Gabriel, a boy in the church choir.
Whoas. They sound dreamy.
Madison thinks she might not like Hart as much!!
Her friends are like, "You can't forget Hart!! Btw, my brother knows Josh, want me to hook you up?"
Gramma wants Madison to go to bed at 8:30.
What? She's not 6!
Now Bigwheels is sick.
She wants to know what happened to Hart, too.
"What had happened to Hart? And what was Madison going to do about her change of heart?"
Mr. Danehy suggests Madison catch up on her science homework with the help of HART JONES.
Coincidence? Or not?
But she forgets about that when Josh comes over and talks to her!!!
Josh: Well...I have class.
Madison: See you through the window!!
Oh, Madison. You have no idea how NERDY that sounded.
Argh!!!! Hart's like, "Madison, can we talk?" and he leaves an empty seat next to him at lunch and EVERYTHING, and Madison's just like, "Whatever."
AAAAARGH!
Lindsay's like, "Let's send Fiona and Aimee an e-mail full of gossip!! Let's tell them about Josh! That's juicy!"
Excuse me, but how??? He's just a cute guy who talked to Madison once, and only to be polite.
M. C. Escher!!
"Tuesday afternoon, after turning in to Blueberry Steet on the walk home from school, Madison spotted Josh. He was way ahead of her, but Madison didn't think. She just started running.
'Hello!' Madison gasped when she caught up to him.
Josh whirled around. 'Whoa. Hello, yourself. I didn't hear you.'
Madison tried to keep from panting, but her mouth was dry from running so fast. She wiped her forehead and tried to look cool.
'Are you okay?' Josh asked. 'You're purple.'
'Oh, I have asthma,' Madison said. It was a strange lie, but it sounded a lot better than, 'Oh, I was just running to catch up to you.'"
OMG!!!! That's so hilarious!! "Oh, I have asthma!"
Josh has a pet poodle named Cuddles. Um...
Gramma Helen is confusing. First, she's like, "Fran, don't ditch your kid!" Then she's like, "Madison, you must understand your mom has a lot on her plate."
They watch Fran's new documentary, which is about AIDs. Gramma even starts crying.
Group hug!
Madison goes out to talk to Josh, and misinterprets all of his actions as, "He thinks I'm cute. He's speechless because I'm so beautiful."
BATTING YOUR EYES DOESN'T WORK.
Josh totally ditches her and is like, "Um, that's nice, I have to help my dad."
I REALLY don't think he likes you, Maddie.
Oh no!! She tries to window-chat with him, and he just goes to bed without answering.
Definitely a bad sign.
Madison tries to make pancakes. "I can't do this!!"
Sorry. Just struck me as funny.
OH NO!!! Hart tries to talk to Maddie and she's like, "Uh-huh. Uh-huh. What are you talking about?"
AAAGH!!1 MADISON FINN!!! DID YOU EVER LEARN SOCIAL SKILLS??
Lindsay: He is cute. I think you would make a nice couple.
Madison: Jeez, Lindsay! Why don't you just announce it over the loudspeaker?
Lol!!
Whatever. Aimee berates Maddie for liking someone who is "practically in high school."
You like someone who is "practically in Mensa", so shut up.
Madison reads an article entitled, "Two's Company, but three's a crowd: How do you choose when you like two?"
But she never gets to finish it, so she still can't decide.
"I think maybe it's a good idea if you're going out with that older guy. Guys our age can be such dorks."
Gusy in GENERAL can be dorks.
Madison sees Josh at Freeze Palace.
"Madison wanted to turn three shades of purple.
I'm with my dad.
It sounded so seventh grade."
Whoa, Madison and Josh have the same favorite ice cream flavor!
Too bad Josh has a girlfriend! Surprise! Her name is Remy...and he had his hand on THE SMALL OF HER BACK. You know what that means.
Madison runs out of the shop and cries the whole way home.
Bigwheels is going out with Reggie again AND her cat is having kittens.
Life is so unfair.
It doesn't seem like such a big deal, but Madison is totally heartbroken. It's really sad.
And she totally saw it coming, anyway.
Aimee is such a horrible friend.
"So that's it? That's the end of Josh? I was getting excited about the prospect of your dating some ninth grader. And then maybe you'd introduce me to some other ninth grader..."
How shallow.
Madison totally blew the Josh thing out of proportion.
HART CALLS!
Madison: What are you guys doing for your Web page project?
Hart: The Titanic.
Madison: That's deep.
Hart: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *more hysterical laughter*
Hart then proceeds to tell her how annoying Ivy is and how she's failing science.
JEEEEEERK.
OMG! He asks her out! Say no! Say yes!
She says yes.
Now they're going to the movies...as a couple...on Saturday!!!
Hart was worth the wait.
Whatever that means.
Madison's Computer Tip:
Use e-mail to keep in touch with friends and family when you're stuck at home.
Wise words.
I'm definitely DONE with the computer for now, so I'm going to chillax!!! (Nickolodeon word!) and read a while. Maybe I'll post on Monday.
Wait. Does that sentence even work?
Oh well. I've just been busy. I think I read this book sometime in the beginning of May, too. I probably won't remember what the page markers even mean.
Plot: Madison feels terrible. She has the flu and is being forced to stay home for close to a week!! Not that she cares; who likes school?
She starts to go a little stir-crazy, however, when her busy mom calls Gramma Helen over from Chicago to take care of Madison, and Gramma Helen is very old-fashioned. Madison isn't even allowed to go on her laptop!!
The final straw is when Madison notices a cute guy who lives across the street. Whaaat??? How could she have not noticed him before??? His name is Josh, he plays hockey, and communicates with Madison via bedroom window (he writes notes for her to see, like, "How R U?").
When Madison finally gets back to school, she is in LUV. She follows Josh around, has lots of wonderfuly intellectual conversations with him, and ends up blowing off Hart several times. Uh oh.
One day, while at Freeze Palace with her dad, Madison runs into Josh...and his GIRLFRIEND!!! :O
She is heartbroken, of course.
Then her friends cheer her up and Madison realizes they never had a chance anyway.
Then she goes off and hangs with Hart.
More notes:
Today's Mental Floss:
If an international airliner crashed exactly on the U.S.-Mexican border, where would authorities be required to bury the survivors!!
When I first got this book, I tried to figure this out for 10 minutes and failed.
They have a big English assignment on any topic of their choosing - except for extreme sports, serial killers, video games, or biographies of current celebrities, rap stars, or sports stars.
There goes my idea.
Weird. Madison and Fiona get sick at the SAME TIME.
Egg and Fiona are so weird and couple-y. It would be super awkward to hang out with them.
Back to the mental floss: Why would anyone bury survivors??? HAHAHAHA! Dang. I wish I'd guessed that.
"Get thyselves to the nurse's office, young ladies, before we all catch your bugs, okay?"
Why is Mr. Gibbons trying to sound like Shakespeare?
Nurse Shim still creeps me out.
Whoa, they all have fevers of 102.
Aimee's sick, too!! Weeeird.
AAAAGH. I hate that you can't leave school when you're sick without parental consent, even if you live 2 minutes away. I couldn't get ahold of either parent for a LONG TIME when I got sick and they almost made me stay and suffer at school. Raaaah.
But Madison finally called her dad, like I did, so she was able to go home.
OMG!!! Madison sneezes on Hart's sweater, and I mean SNEEZES. There's a HUGE loogie on his shirt.
But Hart seems to be okay with it?
Ewww, tofu broth!!?? Who would want to drink that when they're sick? Wouldn't it just make them sicker?
My brother started eating tofu recently, and he says it tastes like a diaper, but he loves it.
Possibly because he pours Johnny's Tenderizing Seasoning Salt all over it before he eats it.
Mom: You know what? You look pale.
Madison: But I always look pale, don't I?
We were talking about that in jazz band. Paul felt the need to mention that I was the second-whitest kid in school, after him. Thanks, Paul.
Psych, Madison has bronchitis.
And her friends just have colds. How lame is that?
Madison's mom and dad always pick fights. Not awkward, or anything.
But Jeff comes over with chicken, and Fran offers him wine when she knows he doesn't drink?
"Well, I'll leave you to your chicken."
That sounds so weird, but fun to say.
Sick people just want TLC.
"It was a boy. He had red hair, or at least it appeared red under the street lamp. He wore an old corduroy jacket, ripped jeans, and lumberjack boots. The big dog sniffed madly at a hydrant."
Lol. In 7th grade there was a boy in my neighborhood with dachsunds, and I was like, "Omg, boyz!!" But he's shorter than me, now, and I don't know what happened to his dogs.
Yay!! If my grandma came over to take care of me when I was sick, I'd be so excited.
Only my grandma lives in Washington, so I see her all the time.
If Grandma Nina came over, it'd be pretty cool, though. I haven't seen her in 2 years.
Awww, Dan e-mails her. I love that boy.
Someone told me ur sick. No way b/c I am @ the clinic $ there are 5 lizards here right now and they are sick 2!!! I had 2 tell u b/c u always laff @ stuff like that.
He names the lizards Wizzy, Fizzy, Dizzy, Tizzy, and Lizzy.
-_-
Then Egg offers to pick up her and Fiona's homework.
At the end of the e-mail, he grudgingly offers to pick up Aimee's, too. Lol.
Hey, you can like 2 guys at the same time. Nothing wrong with that.
Strange. Gramma Helen got a fortune cookie that said she would be traveling to faraway places, and here she is in New York!
Connor got one that said, "You like Chinese Food."
Lol, Gramma's like, "You lay in bed, and I'll run a eucalyptus bubble bath and make some saltwater gurgle while the cold-air vaporizer charges," and Madison's like, "Whatever, Gramma, can we just play cards?"
The girls always talk about how mean Poison Ivy is, but Lindsay sends them this e-mail that's practically 8 pages of ridiculing her outfit.
I guess she never really got over the whole "Fat Camp Loser" thing.
:O HART BLEW OFF POISON IVY!!
They were supposed to work on the English project together, but he stood her up and then pretended not to know what she was talking about.
Okay, even if it is Poison Ivy, that's really mean. Hart's a jerk.
Hart might like another girl besides Ivy...but that could be anyone.
Come on, Madison, it's so you.
Chicken lemon orzo soup???
I'd rather have orange juice and crackers.
Bigwheels is all, "Omg, I found this website where you can send free e-cards!!"
Aren't there millions of those sites around??? They're not exactly a new invention, Bigwheels.
Madison tells Bigwheels about the new boy:
"I had this dream last night that he was spying on me and wanted to meet me."
Wow. That would've creeped me out.
Agh, I love optical illusions, which is what Madison, Aimee, Fiona, and Lindsay pick for their English project.
I remember reading "The Outsiders"!
"Stay gold, Ponyboy."
Egg comes over with Madison's homework, and Gramma Helen FREAKS OUT. "Did I meet this boy the last time I visited? Why are boys calling on you when you're sick in bed?"
She sounds like my dad. Kevin, Alexis, and I bought ice cream at 7/11 and my dad was like, "Who's he?? Is he your friend? Is he in band? Well, of course he's in band. Oh, hi Alexis."
WHOA. Egg apparently knows EVERYTHING about Madison's hot neighbor! His name's Josh, he's in 9th grade (ooooh, an older boy! Lol), he plays hockey, and is friends with Drew.
Then Egg suddenly gets defensive and is like, "What about Hart, Maddie?"
ROFL! "I thought you dug Hart."
Can you dig it? Yes, I can. I've been waiting such a long time for Saturday.
Sorry. Chicago moment.
Oooooh. Egg crushes all of Maddie's hopes and dreams!
Madison: Does Hart know...that I like him?
Egg: I think so. But so what? He doesn't care.
:O WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT???
Madison: He doesn't care?
Egg: I don't know what he thinks. We don't really talk about it.
EGG! THAT'S DIFFERENT THAN NOT CARING!!
What is it about older guys that make girls giggle incessantly???
Possibly because all the guys our own age aren't as hot??
Bigwheels sends this dumb list of things to do when you're sick. It's supposed to be hilarious.
Gramma's like, "A laptop? How fascinating. Show me how this titillating contraption works! I want to send an e-mail to Mabel!"
Frannie thinks work is more important than her daughter. How lame is that?
Whatever happened to Blossom's puppies? I want one.
Lindsay stalks Josh for a day and finds out the following information:
His full name is Josh Turner.
He's in 9th grade.
He plays hockey.
He also plays the accordion AND the tuba????
He's single.
Madison has cute pajama pants. I'm sort of jealous.
Then again, I have boxers!! :P
AAAAGH!! She spies Josh through her window.
He says "Hi There" and then goes to bed when Madison can't think up a fitting reply.
The secret is revealed:
Maybe I'll see him in the hallway and he'll ask me to have lunch with him at his table in the cafeteria. That would just burn Poison Ivy if I got to sit with the ninth graders at lunch!!
:P The girls at my school who are dating juniors are so annoying, like they're so much better than the rest of us. But, then again, it would be cool to be like, "Hehehe, your boyriend is 5'6". My boyfriend can drive...AND SHAVE!"
Ew. It's so nasty when you don't shower or change clothes when you're sick.
OMG, HART WAS ASKING ABOUT MADISON AT SCHOOL.
He asked Dan, which is sort of cold.
"I'm worried about the girl we both like, Dan. Do you know anything about her? Is she feeling okay?"
Hart is SUCH A JERK to have led Poison Ivy on this whole time. He thinks she's annoying and has an attitude and wishes she would just go away.
WHY DIDN'T YOU THINK THAT BEFORE??? She's shown her true colors so many times. Why do you have to be so mean NOW?
Uh oh. Would having a ninth-grader boyfriend be cooler than having HART as a boyfriend?
Maddie, say it isn't so!!
Whoas. If my kid was sick, I wouldn't go out of town until they were better.
Geez, Frannie.
Madison "talks" (via window) to Josh again, but he gets bored and turns off his lamp. BAD SIGN.
Madison wishes that Josh Turner would fall madly in love with her.
Awww.
We were watching Pam Stenzel, and she was talking about how older boys are creepy and can't get anyone to date them, so younger girls shouldn't, either.
When you put it that way, it's kind of true.
Frannie is dumping her only kid with Gramma Helen for a week, and when Madison says she wants a little time away from her overly nice old-fashioned Gramma, Fran's all, "You should be grateful, bla bla bla."
Way to justify leaving your sick kid at home. She's probably just leaving to get away from Helen, anyways. Quit being a hypocrite, Fran.
A boy comes to visit...and it's Egg. Again.
Surprise!! Hart and Drew are with him.
Wait...Lindsay made fun of Ivy's brown sweater near the beginning of the book...now Hart's wearing one.
:O!
Was Ivy wearing Hart's sweater??? So much for not liking her.
Or maybe...WHOA! This is like a soap opera!!!
And Hart is still a jerk.
Hart gives her flowers.
Madison's like, "Omg! *swoon*"
But it turns out they were from her dad and were sitting on the front porch.
Ooooooh.
Egg is so mean!
Madison: The flowers are from my dad.
Egg: Duh. Who else would send you flowers?
Surprise! Josh comes over. Madison spazzes out.
Hart tries to engage Madison in conversation, but she's like, "Uh-huh, yeah. So, Josh...."
Then she asks him [Hart] all these questions about Josh. Way to be heartless, Maddie.
Surprise! Madison's hair is a mess and her T-shirt is stained. Mwahaha. Murphy's law.
Gramma turns out to be a Betty. Who dated OLDER BOYS!!
Fran apparently dated every boy in Far Hills.
OMG, GRAMMA DATED SOMEONE FOUR AND A HALF YEARS OLDER THAN HER!! AT 16!!!
That's like me dating my brother. Only we're not related, but it's still semi-illegal, were we to have sex, but we wouldn't, but people would assume he's a pervert anyway, which he probably IS.
Mmm, this older gentlemen was named Charlie Francis. Helen liked the way he wore his ties. Euphemism for something else?
He asked her out when he was 20 and she was SIXTEEN!!!!
They also talk about Mackie, the butcher's son, and Gabriel, a boy in the church choir.
Whoas. They sound dreamy.
Madison thinks she might not like Hart as much!!
Her friends are like, "You can't forget Hart!! Btw, my brother knows Josh, want me to hook you up?"
Gramma wants Madison to go to bed at 8:30.
What? She's not 6!
Now Bigwheels is sick.
She wants to know what happened to Hart, too.
"What had happened to Hart? And what was Madison going to do about her change of heart?"
Mr. Danehy suggests Madison catch up on her science homework with the help of HART JONES.
Coincidence? Or not?
But she forgets about that when Josh comes over and talks to her!!!
Josh: Well...I have class.
Madison: See you through the window!!
Oh, Madison. You have no idea how NERDY that sounded.
Argh!!!! Hart's like, "Madison, can we talk?" and he leaves an empty seat next to him at lunch and EVERYTHING, and Madison's just like, "Whatever."
AAAAARGH!
Lindsay's like, "Let's send Fiona and Aimee an e-mail full of gossip!! Let's tell them about Josh! That's juicy!"
Excuse me, but how??? He's just a cute guy who talked to Madison once, and only to be polite.
M. C. Escher!!
"Tuesday afternoon, after turning in to Blueberry Steet on the walk home from school, Madison spotted Josh. He was way ahead of her, but Madison didn't think. She just started running.
'Hello!' Madison gasped when she caught up to him.
Josh whirled around. 'Whoa. Hello, yourself. I didn't hear you.'
Madison tried to keep from panting, but her mouth was dry from running so fast. She wiped her forehead and tried to look cool.
'Are you okay?' Josh asked. 'You're purple.'
'Oh, I have asthma,' Madison said. It was a strange lie, but it sounded a lot better than, 'Oh, I was just running to catch up to you.'"
OMG!!!! That's so hilarious!! "Oh, I have asthma!"
Josh has a pet poodle named Cuddles. Um...
Gramma Helen is confusing. First, she's like, "Fran, don't ditch your kid!" Then she's like, "Madison, you must understand your mom has a lot on her plate."
They watch Fran's new documentary, which is about AIDs. Gramma even starts crying.
Group hug!
Madison goes out to talk to Josh, and misinterprets all of his actions as, "He thinks I'm cute. He's speechless because I'm so beautiful."
BATTING YOUR EYES DOESN'T WORK.
Josh totally ditches her and is like, "Um, that's nice, I have to help my dad."
I REALLY don't think he likes you, Maddie.
Oh no!! She tries to window-chat with him, and he just goes to bed without answering.
Definitely a bad sign.
Madison tries to make pancakes. "I can't do this!!"
Sorry. Just struck me as funny.
OH NO!!! Hart tries to talk to Maddie and she's like, "Uh-huh. Uh-huh. What are you talking about?"
AAAGH!!1 MADISON FINN!!! DID YOU EVER LEARN SOCIAL SKILLS??
Lindsay: He is cute. I think you would make a nice couple.
Madison: Jeez, Lindsay! Why don't you just announce it over the loudspeaker?
Lol!!
Whatever. Aimee berates Maddie for liking someone who is "practically in high school."
You like someone who is "practically in Mensa", so shut up.
Madison reads an article entitled, "Two's Company, but three's a crowd: How do you choose when you like two?"
But she never gets to finish it, so she still can't decide.
"I think maybe it's a good idea if you're going out with that older guy. Guys our age can be such dorks."
Gusy in GENERAL can be dorks.
Madison sees Josh at Freeze Palace.
"Madison wanted to turn three shades of purple.
I'm with my dad.
It sounded so seventh grade."
Whoa, Madison and Josh have the same favorite ice cream flavor!
Too bad Josh has a girlfriend! Surprise! Her name is Remy...and he had his hand on THE SMALL OF HER BACK. You know what that means.
Madison runs out of the shop and cries the whole way home.
Bigwheels is going out with Reggie again AND her cat is having kittens.
Life is so unfair.
It doesn't seem like such a big deal, but Madison is totally heartbroken. It's really sad.
And she totally saw it coming, anyway.
Aimee is such a horrible friend.
"So that's it? That's the end of Josh? I was getting excited about the prospect of your dating some ninth grader. And then maybe you'd introduce me to some other ninth grader..."
How shallow.
Madison totally blew the Josh thing out of proportion.
HART CALLS!
Madison: What are you guys doing for your Web page project?
Hart: The Titanic.
Madison: That's deep.
Hart: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *more hysterical laughter*
Hart then proceeds to tell her how annoying Ivy is and how she's failing science.
JEEEEEERK.
OMG! He asks her out! Say no! Say yes!
She says yes.
Now they're going to the movies...as a couple...on Saturday!!!
Hart was worth the wait.
Whatever that means.
Madison's Computer Tip:
Use e-mail to keep in touch with friends and family when you're stuck at home.
Wise words.
I'm definitely DONE with the computer for now, so I'm going to chillax!!! (Nickolodeon word!) and read a while. Maybe I'll post on Monday.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Somebody's getting married! Part #3
I started this on the 19th!!! Sorry, I've been so busy!!!
Plot: It's the day of the wedding.
MADISON STILL HASN'T FINISHED THE COLLAGE!
She wakes up at 3 AM and manages to finish the thing AND write a really excellent poem in 2 short hours.
Tiffany comes by to pick her up, and finds Madison undressed (not naked, just in her pajamas).
Madison is worried her snobby cousin will make fun of her orange dress, but not only does Tiffany love the dress, but she turns out to be really nice, just overbearing and chatty.
It's time for the wedding. Madison gets through her Shakespeare reading without incident, and neither Jeff nor Stephanie runs away in tears. They stumble through the vows and become Mr. and Mrs. Jeffery Finn.
Yay, Madison and her dad are still super close.
Oh, and he loves the wedding present, as does Stephanie.
Madison returns home, where she finally reveals to Aimee and Fiona that she likes Hart.
Weee, how anticlimactic.
More notes:
Madison doesn't want the wedding to happen, because her future step-grandma is a witch, there are bad omens all around, and she wants her parents to get back together.
Bigwheels says, "I bet ur the prettiest girl there."
....
Maybe Bigwheels doesn't like Reggie (or boys) as much as she thought she did....
AAARGH! Aimee sends another e-mail, and it still sounds like she's blaming Madison for Fiona's problems. But then Aimee admits to not doing anything to make Fiona better, and claims it's because Madison's not there, and they have to do it together or whatever.
Ugh, I hate Aimee SOOO much.
Lame. Hart e-mails Madison about a BBQ at his house when he knows she'll be in Texas then. You suck, Hart.
Dad: In ten hours, I will marry Stephanie, and more than anything else on the planet, I want you to be okay with it.
Madison: I told you a zillion times, Dad, I'm okay with it.
Dad: I believed you before. I'm not so sure anymore.
Madison: Why can't you believe me now? I can't believe you don't believe that I believe....
:? What?
"Are you really marrying Stephanie tomorrow? But her family is so weird. And she's so...neurotic. She practically bawled her eyes out that night in here with me."
That's a good reason not to marry someone. They had a bad day. -_-
"Madison had totally lied to Dad. Of course she knew about love. After all, that was really the only thing that explained how she felt about Hart Jones."
Don't believe the hype, Maddie. That's not love.
Don't you hate it when you wake up at 3 AM and remember you didn't do something important?
....
The time suddenly jumps from 5:30 to 6:30, then from 6:30 to 7:30.
WHERE DID THOSE TWO HOURS GO?
Argh...just...divorce is never a good thing!
Aimee's shame game worked!!!
Tiffany is so Sandy from Spongebob Squarepants!!
"Aw, jeepers! You're not even ready yet!"
Oh no...Madison has doubts about her orangey-orange dress! Tiffany's all, "Sounds...*cough cough* butt ugly! *cough cough*"
"Madison could almost feel the blood drain from her face. Panicked thoughts zipped through her head like little fireflies. She had a vision of herself walking up to the wedding ceremony at the Wolfe Ranch. There, a burly cowboy bouncer would greet her.
'Hey, you in the orange dress!' he would exclaim, readying his lasso to rope Madison like loose cattle. 'No orange allowed at this hoedown!'"
Argh. I hate zits that get bigger when you pop them.
That's what Madison has.
Tiffany is a brat because...Wanda is abusive??
Tiffany and Madison bond over ping-pong. Tiffany says she LIKES the orange dress!
She even offers to go back to her house to get an orange hairclip that would go perfectly with Madison's dress!!!
Tiffany sculpts Madison's hair into the wonder it is on the cover. Hm.
OMG, THERE ARE PONY RIDES AT STEPHANIE'S WEDDING!
Okay, weird. Kirk thinks Madison looks pretty.
Isn't she his new step-cousin thing?
Madison reads a cool beans Shakespeare sonnet at the wedding.
Jeff and Stephanie mess up the vows.
"I, Jeffrey Peter Finn, take thee, Stephanie Mae Wolfe, to be my lawful wedded husband...I mean, awful wedded wife...I mean...lawful...wedded...wife."
That would be a tad embarassing.
Madison spontaneously decides to hug Kirk.
Which TOTALLY weirds him out.
So Maddie decides not to make anymore romantic endeavors in the near future.
Stephanie almost married a guy named Bob.
But she called if off.
Madison dances with Kirk. He's not very good and they're related...but she got to dance with a boy.
You're never too old for a pony ride!
Madison twists her ankle while resisting a square dance with her dad.
So much for that.
"Loooove, soft as an easy chair...Loooove, fresh as the morning air..."
Sounds like the stuff they play on 106.9.
"Madison was thinking about love, too.
Back home - where her Hart was."
-_-
"There is nothing more romantic than forever, is there? Like, 'I will love you forever and ever into infinity, my darling Madison.'"
Actually, if any boy said that to me, I'd punch him in the face.
And not because my name isn't Madison.
Wow, that would suck, wouldn't it? "I'm in love with you, Mia...I mean, Lauren."
Who's Mia???
Stephanie and Jeff buy her a locket with picture of all of them at the beach.
This book actually came with a locket...that I lost. :( It was cheap, anyway.
Madison fixed the poem:
Your wedding is a special day
I'm sure you will be feeling good in every way
The sun is shining bright on your faces
Of course there is no one who can take your places
At first I thought this wedding would be weird
And that was just the start of what I feared
I know you're happy and I'm happy too
But I wondered what would happen with you two
And then I realized you will still be there
You will always listen and you will always care.
I know that sometime's I'm hard for Dad to take
Like when he says, "Maddie, give me a break."
Plus I have one mom and never had another
I'm not sure I know how to have a stepmother
I want our family to be complete and real
I want you both to know just how I feel.
You take care of me and let me share your life
Dad, I'm so glad you picked Stephanie for you wife
I hope that I will be a good part of the deal
I want you both to know just how I feel.
I wish you the best happy wedding time
Thanks for including me even though I can't really rhyme.
That sounds like something off Veggietales...or the Hallmark Channel.
Stephanie loves it and starts crying. Definitely Hallmark Channel.
Group hug!!!
"I've been obsessing about Hart again for some reason. I even had a dream about him last night! He was riding in this carriage and carrying flowers and candles. Don't ask."
Don't worry. I won't.
Though I vaguely remember some of my own obsessive dreams...involving the army...and Wild Waves!
Madison finally fesses up about her crush on Hart!!!
So, naturally, Aimee tells the whole world.
NO WAY. Jeff is letting Tiffany and her friends hang out with Madison in her hotel room, and they can watch whatever movies they want (they got the "R" route, because they're so devious) and order as much room service as they want!!! Dang!
I hate it when they're like, "The plane is beginning it's descent," and it takes another HALF HOUR.
Four hour flight from Chicago to Georgia! Whoo!
No more lost bags! No more lost bags!
Success! Madison's bag returns to New York with her!
Jeff orders a LIMOUSINE to take Madison home!!! It's like...4 miles!!!
Ha ha. A hilarious misunderstanding between Madison, Aimee, and Mom.
"I thought you liked Drew! Or maybe it was Dan. I can't remember."
"Pork-O!!? I thought you liked Hart? When did you like Dan? I know he likes you!"
Madison apparently didn't know Dan liked her...
...even though he practically STALKED HER in #11.
Home again. Home again. Stuff like that.
Madison's Computer Tip:
Use a laptop to keep a travel diary.
Okay. Phew. I'll do #16 tomorrow and maybe read some more later.
Plot: It's the day of the wedding.
MADISON STILL HASN'T FINISHED THE COLLAGE!
She wakes up at 3 AM and manages to finish the thing AND write a really excellent poem in 2 short hours.
Tiffany comes by to pick her up, and finds Madison undressed (not naked, just in her pajamas).
Madison is worried her snobby cousin will make fun of her orange dress, but not only does Tiffany love the dress, but she turns out to be really nice, just overbearing and chatty.
It's time for the wedding. Madison gets through her Shakespeare reading without incident, and neither Jeff nor Stephanie runs away in tears. They stumble through the vows and become Mr. and Mrs. Jeffery Finn.
Yay, Madison and her dad are still super close.
Oh, and he loves the wedding present, as does Stephanie.
Madison returns home, where she finally reveals to Aimee and Fiona that she likes Hart.
Weee, how anticlimactic.
More notes:
Madison doesn't want the wedding to happen, because her future step-grandma is a witch, there are bad omens all around, and she wants her parents to get back together.
Bigwheels says, "I bet ur the prettiest girl there."
....
Maybe Bigwheels doesn't like Reggie (or boys) as much as she thought she did....
AAARGH! Aimee sends another e-mail, and it still sounds like she's blaming Madison for Fiona's problems. But then Aimee admits to not doing anything to make Fiona better, and claims it's because Madison's not there, and they have to do it together or whatever.
Ugh, I hate Aimee SOOO much.
Lame. Hart e-mails Madison about a BBQ at his house when he knows she'll be in Texas then. You suck, Hart.
Dad: In ten hours, I will marry Stephanie, and more than anything else on the planet, I want you to be okay with it.
Madison: I told you a zillion times, Dad, I'm okay with it.
Dad: I believed you before. I'm not so sure anymore.
Madison: Why can't you believe me now? I can't believe you don't believe that I believe....
:? What?
"Are you really marrying Stephanie tomorrow? But her family is so weird. And she's so...neurotic. She practically bawled her eyes out that night in here with me."
That's a good reason not to marry someone. They had a bad day. -_-
"Madison had totally lied to Dad. Of course she knew about love. After all, that was really the only thing that explained how she felt about Hart Jones."
Don't believe the hype, Maddie. That's not love.
Don't you hate it when you wake up at 3 AM and remember you didn't do something important?
....
The time suddenly jumps from 5:30 to 6:30, then from 6:30 to 7:30.
WHERE DID THOSE TWO HOURS GO?
Argh...just...divorce is never a good thing!
Aimee's shame game worked!!!
Tiffany is so Sandy from Spongebob Squarepants!!
"Aw, jeepers! You're not even ready yet!"
Oh no...Madison has doubts about her orangey-orange dress! Tiffany's all, "Sounds...*cough cough* butt ugly! *cough cough*"
"Madison could almost feel the blood drain from her face. Panicked thoughts zipped through her head like little fireflies. She had a vision of herself walking up to the wedding ceremony at the Wolfe Ranch. There, a burly cowboy bouncer would greet her.
'Hey, you in the orange dress!' he would exclaim, readying his lasso to rope Madison like loose cattle. 'No orange allowed at this hoedown!'"
Argh. I hate zits that get bigger when you pop them.
That's what Madison has.
Tiffany is a brat because...Wanda is abusive??
Tiffany and Madison bond over ping-pong. Tiffany says she LIKES the orange dress!
She even offers to go back to her house to get an orange hairclip that would go perfectly with Madison's dress!!!
Tiffany sculpts Madison's hair into the wonder it is on the cover. Hm.
OMG, THERE ARE PONY RIDES AT STEPHANIE'S WEDDING!
Okay, weird. Kirk thinks Madison looks pretty.
Isn't she his new step-cousin thing?
Madison reads a cool beans Shakespeare sonnet at the wedding.
Jeff and Stephanie mess up the vows.
"I, Jeffrey Peter Finn, take thee, Stephanie Mae Wolfe, to be my lawful wedded husband...I mean, awful wedded wife...I mean...lawful...wedded...wife."
That would be a tad embarassing.
Madison spontaneously decides to hug Kirk.
Which TOTALLY weirds him out.
So Maddie decides not to make anymore romantic endeavors in the near future.
Stephanie almost married a guy named Bob.
But she called if off.
Madison dances with Kirk. He's not very good and they're related...but she got to dance with a boy.
You're never too old for a pony ride!
Madison twists her ankle while resisting a square dance with her dad.
So much for that.
"Loooove, soft as an easy chair...Loooove, fresh as the morning air..."
Sounds like the stuff they play on 106.9.
"Madison was thinking about love, too.
Back home - where her Hart was."
-_-
"There is nothing more romantic than forever, is there? Like, 'I will love you forever and ever into infinity, my darling Madison.'"
Actually, if any boy said that to me, I'd punch him in the face.
And not because my name isn't Madison.
Wow, that would suck, wouldn't it? "I'm in love with you, Mia...I mean, Lauren."
Who's Mia???
Stephanie and Jeff buy her a locket with picture of all of them at the beach.
This book actually came with a locket...that I lost. :( It was cheap, anyway.
Madison fixed the poem:
Your wedding is a special day
I'm sure you will be feeling good in every way
The sun is shining bright on your faces
Of course there is no one who can take your places
At first I thought this wedding would be weird
And that was just the start of what I feared
I know you're happy and I'm happy too
But I wondered what would happen with you two
And then I realized you will still be there
You will always listen and you will always care.
I know that sometime's I'm hard for Dad to take
Like when he says, "Maddie, give me a break."
Plus I have one mom and never had another
I'm not sure I know how to have a stepmother
I want our family to be complete and real
I want you both to know just how I feel.
You take care of me and let me share your life
Dad, I'm so glad you picked Stephanie for you wife
I hope that I will be a good part of the deal
I want you both to know just how I feel.
I wish you the best happy wedding time
Thanks for including me even though I can't really rhyme.
That sounds like something off Veggietales...or the Hallmark Channel.
Stephanie loves it and starts crying. Definitely Hallmark Channel.
Group hug!!!
"I've been obsessing about Hart again for some reason. I even had a dream about him last night! He was riding in this carriage and carrying flowers and candles. Don't ask."
Don't worry. I won't.
Though I vaguely remember some of my own obsessive dreams...involving the army...and Wild Waves!
Madison finally fesses up about her crush on Hart!!!
So, naturally, Aimee tells the whole world.
NO WAY. Jeff is letting Tiffany and her friends hang out with Madison in her hotel room, and they can watch whatever movies they want (they got the "R" route, because they're so devious) and order as much room service as they want!!! Dang!
I hate it when they're like, "The plane is beginning it's descent," and it takes another HALF HOUR.
Four hour flight from Chicago to Georgia! Whoo!
No more lost bags! No more lost bags!
Success! Madison's bag returns to New York with her!
Jeff orders a LIMOUSINE to take Madison home!!! It's like...4 miles!!!
Ha ha. A hilarious misunderstanding between Madison, Aimee, and Mom.
"I thought you liked Drew! Or maybe it was Dan. I can't remember."
"Pork-O!!? I thought you liked Hart? When did you like Dan? I know he likes you!"
Madison apparently didn't know Dan liked her...
...even though he practically STALKED HER in #11.
Home again. Home again. Stuff like that.
Madison's Computer Tip:
Use a laptop to keep a travel diary.
Okay. Phew. I'll do #16 tomorrow and maybe read some more later.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Way to give away the end, or FTFO Madison Finn #15: Off the Wall
Don't you hate it when the library has every book in a series...
...except the one you need???
I'm trying to find a stupid picture of this book, and my library site, of course, doesn't have this one.
You know what sucks? I ordered a BUNCH of Madison Finns that I've never read, and I'm not going to be able to read them, because I'm trying to do this in series order!!! Aaargh!
Plot: Something is very, very wrong in Far Hills. Madison's favorite teacher, Mrs. Wing, has gone missing!!! She and her husband have just up and left, without leaving a note or anything!
Madison is worrieder than worried.
If that wasn't enough, Aimee's dog Blossom is about to have puppies...with another bassett hound! See, Madison and Aimee made a pact in fourth grade that had something to do with Phin and Blossom having puppies together. It appears Aimee has broken the pact!!
To get her mind off things, Madison checks out a web Egg reccomended to her called "The Wall". The Wall is full of juicy gossip, AKA heaven for 7th grade girls.
Oh no! Someone starts posting nasty things about Madison's friends...and it looks like Madison is to blame! Will Fiona, Aimee, and Lindsay ever talk to her again?
After a little bit of digging, Madison finds out the culprit is none other than Ivy herself (saw it coming).
To get back at the fiend, she writes a very nasty message about Ivy and posts it on The Wall.
Afterwards, she is racked with guilt and tells her parents everything.
They help her take down the message...and then ground her and take away her computer for a month.
OUCH.
Fiona, Aimee, and Lindsay apologize to Madison for not believing her, and everything is rosy once more.
Oh yeah, Madison forgets about the puppies, and Mrs. Wing, it turns out, left to adopt a baby!! Yay!! Sunshine and flowers!!
More notes:
Why are school computers always so slow?
Lance has a crush on Madison, but she is repulsed by his nose-picking and cheerful, "Howdy"s.
The new computer substitute is cool, lol.
"Holy cow! It took me a century to find you cats."
Mrs. Wing leaves Madison in charge...because she's the class expert.
How embarrassingly flattering.
Egg: Get out of here. I would whomp you.
"Whomp" you?? Wth?? Who says that?
Madison and Aimee "enjoy" watching Fiona and Chet's fights.
Enjoy??? What's to enjoy? Those are so awkward!
There is no way boys gossip more than girls.
But they do gossip quite a bit.
Egg sings The Wall's praises, because there aren't any moderators.
RED FLAG! RED FLAG!
There are a buttload of rules that nobody's going to follow WITHOUT MODERATORS.
Aimee IMs Maddie to tell her about the puppies.
But when they get to the part about there being a dad OTHER than Phin, Madison just signs off.
That's always nice.
Madison is such a drama queen! "My best friend has betrayed me."
They're just puppies! And it's not like you shook on the whole puppy plan.
Yeah, the whole "puppy plan" consisted of a bunch of jokes on how ugly Blossom and Phin's puppies would be.
SHE EVEN ADMITS IT! "It was like a dream of mine. I know we didn't make a formal pact or anything, but isn't a friend's word supposed to count for something?"
Dude, I looked these kinds of puppies up online, and they're adorable!!! Just go online and look up "Bassugg puppies".
Dan: Maddie! I'm so glad you're here. I could use your help big-time.
Madison: I'm glad you're here, too. It's been a bad day. I need cheering up.
Dan: Try cleaning up dog poop and cat poop. That'll cheer you up real fast.
Oh, Dan, you charmer you.
THe conversation takes an awkward turn when Madison mentions "those naked-looking cats".
Dan: *giggle* Naked?
Madison: *blush of death* So, um, about my problems....
Dan thinks Madison should chill out and not be so mad at Aimee.
He also thinks Dr. Wing and Mrs. Wing ran away together, but hey.
Madison's Dad wants to go out to dinner with Stephanie's nephew Kirk.
Madison thinks Kirk will probably be a dork.
And, of course, he's no Hart Jones.
Madison's Excuses for not dining with Kirk:
I have the walk the dog.
I have to wash my hair.
I have to save the world from an alien attack.
This probably spoils everything, but Kirk, in later books, turns out to be a way cute Kountry Gentleman.
Poor, poor Madison.
Yay, "Number the Stars"! That's one of my favorite books!!
Ivy is so evil!!
Ivy: I don't see what the big deal is. I mean, I didn't really fail the test. I only got a D, you know. Mr. Danehy is such a pain.
Joan: Science is so dumb anyway.
Ivy: And if that stupid twit Madison had just sat differently, I could have cheated off her paper, anyhow. She's such a goody-goody.
Joan: You'll pass science.
Ivy: Who really cares? I can always copy Madison's lab notes anyway. I do it all the time when she isn't looking.
Mrs. Wing adopted a baby...and Madison was the last one to know.
Been there, done that.
Meaning I've been the last to know. No, I haven't adopted a baby recently. The last baby I met yelled, "Poop," at me and threatened to beat me up if I spoke again.
Someone who goes to FHJH writes a post about Mrs. Wing on the wall. Maddie is like, "Nooo, everyone knew before me!!"
Someone replies to the post: So what, who cares?
Yeah, really, who cares? My teachers get pregnant all the time.
Aimee and Fiona are so stupid!!! They both post on a board called "Hotties" using their REAL SCREENNAMES!!! Now everyone will know it's them!
Posted by: BalletGrl
Date: 5 Nov
Message: actually I like this guy Ben but no one really knows so shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I should not have written that
Why would you write it if you didn't want anyone to know???
Posted by: Wetwinz
Date: 5 Nov
Message: of course someone who has been flirting w/me a lot wink wink can u guess who? *G*
Aimee sees the humor in the puppy situation.
Aimee: Maddie! I told you that about the puppies when we were in, like, fourth grade! And besides, my mom and dad are the ones who decide who Blossom will have puppies with, not me. And they want basset hounds, not some mix of pug and...Maddie, can you imagine what Blossom and Phin's babies would really look like?
Uh, yeah...they would be SOOO CUTE!
Fiona: By the way, I heard some big news.
Madison: Yeah, yeah, big news, I know. Mrs. Wing had a baby.
Fiona: Huh? What are you talking about? A baby? She did?
Madison: Wait. You didn't know?
Fiona: MRS. WING HAD A BABY? Oh, wow! This is, like, HUGE news. My news is so little and puny compared to yours. I just found out that the soccer team is moving their practice space. Wow! How did you find about Mrs. Wing?
So it turns out Madison isn't the last one to know, but come on, Fiona!! The soccer team is moving their practice space??? WHAT KIND OF NEWS IS THAT???
Oooh, lucky. Madison's school has free period instead of study hall.
Someone posts a REALLY mean message about Lindsay!!
Posted by: LoVeBuG
Date: Nov 6
Message: there is ms. fatty in my class and she is SOOOO fat that she cant even go 2 regular camp LOL she has to go to FAT CAMP and she walks around with a dumb black haircut & purple backpack that looks like she should be in the first grade LOSER!!! I feel bad 4 her yah right NOT FHJH would be better w/o her :)
That's pretty mean, but I thought Lindsay had light brown hair. She even has some on the cover.
Lindsay now wants all of her friends to stop going on the site.
It may be disloyal, but...
...I'd probably keep going on The Wall if I were Madison.
Which she does.
Lindsay: I bet it was the guys. I know they make fun of me because I'm overweight. I heard them once.
Madison: You did?
Lindsay: Yeah. I heard Hart and Chet talking once about who was the prettiest in our class.
Madison: Hart and Chet?
Fiona: What did they say, exactly? My brother is such a geek. Don't listen to him!
Lindsay: I don't remember everyone they were talking about, but I do know they said Ivy was the hottest girl and that some other girls were okay but some were too fat, like me and Beth Sanders.
[!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS SO MEAN!!! Proof that guys suck.]
Fiona: Well, Lindsay. Beth Sanders is fat. She's huge. She takes up two seats at lunch. You're not fat like that.
[I lied, girls suck, too. ESPECIALLY FIONA.]
Madison: That's not the point, guys.
Thank you, Madison.
Lol.
"Madison knew the truth. They would all huff and puff and complain about how terrible it was to post gossip. And then they'd each go home that very night and check the next postings on the gossip page - just in case something interesting came up."
Some people just suck at math. Video games have nothing to do with that.
Madison's Dad reads the Lindsay post outloud, and it sounds kind of funny when he says it.
"What does that text say? 'Fat camp'? 'Looks like she should be in the first grade LOSER'? What is this? This isn't an e-mail from one of your friends, is it?"
Dad thinks girls are meaner than boys.
So true.
Fiona has big news!!!
Fiona: Okay, so he finally, really asked me.
Madison: Asked you? What? Who?"
Fiona: Egg! He asked me out. For real.
Madison: He asked you out? He said those exact words.
Fiona: He wants to go to the movies next week. Can you believe it? I know we're sort of a 'couple', but this really makes a difference
AARGH, NO!! You're not officially a "couple" until he asks you out.
Otherwise, he's just playing you.
I can't believe it's been this long and he JUST NOW asked her out.
Egg's a playa....
Whoa, Madison stands up to Ivy in this one! And it's really funny!
Madison: You obviously don't know the meaning of the word homework, Ivy. It means you actually have to do work, at home.
Ivy: Well, YOU obviously don't understand what it means to be partners, Madison. It means that occasionally you show me your notes. I would do the exact same for you.
Madison: Yeah. If you ever took notes.
Ivy: Excuse me?
Madison: Look, Ivy, I have to go. Why don't you just ask Mr. Danehy for help?
PWNED!!
Why is Fiona so overdramatic??
Fiona: Maddie, I can't believe you!
Madison: What happened?
Fiona: You promised you wouldn't tell!!
Madison: Fiona...
Fiona: I thought you were my friend. How could you?
Madison: Please tell me what's wrong.
Fiona: Why don't you read The Wall? You'll see what I'm talking about, Maddie. You'll see.
Posted by: MF13
Date: 8 Nov
Message: some secrets r way 2 hard 2 keep even about my friends F.W. sez its all god but she and W.D. probably want to hook up @ the movies next week I know it what a j-o-k-e they are so NOT innocent :)
:O Okay, "Madison" basically called Fiona a slut, but Fiona seems more mad that "Madison" told her secret.
Yeah, you should keep your friends' secrets, but what's secret about being asked out?? Wouldn't you be happy? Wouldn't you WANT to share the news with everyone? I mean, you're already "a couple", right???
So, even though I know Madison didn't write this, she shouldn't have told the secret, but WHY WAS IT A SECRET IN THE FIRST PLACE?
Um, duh. Egg told everyone. Big surprise.
Madison thinks it might be Chet, then feels bad and insists they shouldn't do anything.
Why would Chet do that...AND use Madison's scrnnme? Confused.
Madison wants to know if Dan ever made up a fake screenname for himself.
Who hasn't?? No offense, Maddie, but MadFinn kind of sucks.
Aimee has a secret, too! She might get a lead in the next ballet production!
$100 it'll be on The Wall tomorrow.
Madison's gym shorts are sort of tight and Ivy makes fun of them.
I thought tight things were in?? Ivy's just jealous.
Hehehe, Madison gets paired up with Ivy for volleyball.
Ivy: I despise volleyball.
That makes two of us.
Madison: You just despise everything and everyone.
Heheheheheh.
Madison finds a bulletin about Aimee on the wall...supposedly posted by herself. Instead of calling Aimee about it, she retreats to her files to be emo???
Whatever. Aimee will be calling to yell at you in like 2 minutes anyway.
Aimee and Madison have a fight. Aimee drags up stuff from the past, about all the times Madison has lied (she's only lied once). Aimee sort of sucks.
Lol.
As Aimee's leaving, she turns around and screams, "THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!"
Egg thinks Fiona is stupid for being mad at Madison.
Go Egg!
Ivy gets "gravity" and "relativity" mixed up.
.....
Heh. Ivy and Madison have to do a science project together...and Madison makes Ivy do all the work. Payback.
Ivy: What did you find in the back?
Madison: No much. We should do more research upstairs in the media center, thought. Can you go look after school?
Ivy: Me? Why don't you go look after school.
Madison: I have an after-school conflict today.
Ivy: Well, I have a conflict, too. Like, I don't do science work after school. That's my conflict.
Madison: Maybe we should each write our own paper. I can ask Mr. Danehy if we can split-
Ivy: NO! Okay, I'll look in the media center. Don't throw a hissy about it. Gosh, you always overreact. What a drama queen.
GO MADISON!!
Mr. Danehy gives Ivy an F!!
Today is not Ivy's day.
Ugh, I hate it when people read over my shoulder!!!
Lance is a creepy kid.
Mrs. Wing brings her baby Phoebe to school.
Lance: My cousin had a big, fatso baby. He was so huge, he looked like he was stuffed.
Thanks, Lance.
Boys like babies, too.
It seems like Bigwheels is always either sick or grounded.
"SORRY I wasn't on my computer, but I was SICK and GROUNDED at the SAME TIME."
"Friends are forever, boys are whatever!"
What if all your friends are boys??
Madison wants revenge.
Noooo, don't do it, Madison! Revenge is never the answer!!
Madison writes a post about Ivy.
Posted by: MF13
Date: 11 Nov
Message: More big newz @ FHJH this time its I.D. in trouble wow is she ever. The WITCH is failing science. Yeah I.D. begged Mr. D. to pass her but he said no way so now the school is planning to EXPEL her...it is soooo bad Not only that but I heard that NO other school in the district wants to accept her b/c she has no real friends n e way LOL in fact there r no guys who will even look @ her b/c she dresses
That's as far as she gets before she accidentally publishes it.
Okay, who would even believe that? The part about having no friends and being a slut is pretty mean, but she wouldn't get EXPELLED for failing science.
Duh. Summer school.
Madison has become a pathological liar.
The bulletin won't be removed for 24 hours.
You sort of deserve it, Madison.
Revenge is never the answer.
"Now...Ivy will probably read what I posted and...she'll hate me forever and..."
"Wait just a minute, Maddie. I thought you and Ivy weren't friends anymore anyway."
Yeah!! What do you care what she thinks??
Shouldn't you be more worried about hurting her feelings than how she'll think of you? Because I'm pretty sure she already hates you.
Madison: Why are parents always right? And why am I always wrong?
Trust me, honey. Parents are NOT always right.
Lol, her dad is so delightfully evil.
"You're kidding! Oh, Maddie, you are most definitely going to tell your mother everything, from the beinning. We had a deal."
That's like on "Dan in Real Life".
"So Marty can stay?"
"*hysterical laughter* Marty can STAY???"
Madison can never go on The Wall again.
She is officially Off the Wall (that's where the title comes in).
Wait, MF13 is the one who's not allowed on the wall.
Madison could just create a new screename and go on whenever she wanted.
WtH???????
Lindsay, Aimee, and Fiona came over to apologize.
Why the sudden epiphany??
And why is Lindsay apologizing, too???
Madison had nothing to do with her Fat Camp thing!!! Lindsay probably didn't even know about the whole fight until now.
WHAT IS SHE DOING THERE??
It turns out Ivy told Hart she was MF13, and Hart told Chet who told Fiona.
Boys aren't the only shallow ones.
Such as girl on basketball team??
"Lauren, you'd be really pretty if you did this to your hair."
Um...thanks.
NICE!!! Madison's mom took away her laptop and is keeping it under lock and key in her desk drawer!!! Madison can only use it for one hour each day to check her e-mail!!
Finally! Good parenting!
Madison is super mean to Lance...even if he is a nerd.
Madison: I'm outta here.
Lance: But I just got here.
Madison: So? See you in class tomorrow.
Duh, Lance, you're the reason she's leaving.
Ivy: I'm never going to forget, you know.
Madison: Elephants never forget.
Ivy: Who are you calling.... OOOOOH! You think you're sooooo smart, don't you?
Madison just smiles and walks away.
The one time turning the other cheek actually WORKED.
Bigwheels is grounded because she told some kids a scary story.
Whatever. I bet it was the one about the finger.
Ew, I hate youngest children.
Madison's Computer Tip:
Beware of online gossip.
Truer words were never spoken.
I just read the last 2 Pony Pals books, and they were surprisingly enjoyable and kind of sad. Lulu's dad SUCKS; he's probably the worst father ever. So does Mrs. Crandal. It's like good parents don't EXIST in Wiggins. But that's all tomorrow; I have stuff to do.
...except the one you need???
I'm trying to find a stupid picture of this book, and my library site, of course, doesn't have this one.
You know what sucks? I ordered a BUNCH of Madison Finns that I've never read, and I'm not going to be able to read them, because I'm trying to do this in series order!!! Aaargh!
Plot: Something is very, very wrong in Far Hills. Madison's favorite teacher, Mrs. Wing, has gone missing!!! She and her husband have just up and left, without leaving a note or anything!
Madison is worrieder than worried.
If that wasn't enough, Aimee's dog Blossom is about to have puppies...with another bassett hound! See, Madison and Aimee made a pact in fourth grade that had something to do with Phin and Blossom having puppies together. It appears Aimee has broken the pact!!
To get her mind off things, Madison checks out a web Egg reccomended to her called "The Wall". The Wall is full of juicy gossip, AKA heaven for 7th grade girls.
Oh no! Someone starts posting nasty things about Madison's friends...and it looks like Madison is to blame! Will Fiona, Aimee, and Lindsay ever talk to her again?
After a little bit of digging, Madison finds out the culprit is none other than Ivy herself (saw it coming).
To get back at the fiend, she writes a very nasty message about Ivy and posts it on The Wall.
Afterwards, she is racked with guilt and tells her parents everything.
They help her take down the message...and then ground her and take away her computer for a month.
OUCH.
Fiona, Aimee, and Lindsay apologize to Madison for not believing her, and everything is rosy once more.
Oh yeah, Madison forgets about the puppies, and Mrs. Wing, it turns out, left to adopt a baby!! Yay!! Sunshine and flowers!!
More notes:
Why are school computers always so slow?
Lance has a crush on Madison, but she is repulsed by his nose-picking and cheerful, "Howdy"s.
The new computer substitute is cool, lol.
"Holy cow! It took me a century to find you cats."
Mrs. Wing leaves Madison in charge...because she's the class expert.
How embarrassingly flattering.
Egg: Get out of here. I would whomp you.
"Whomp" you?? Wth?? Who says that?
Madison and Aimee "enjoy" watching Fiona and Chet's fights.
Enjoy??? What's to enjoy? Those are so awkward!
There is no way boys gossip more than girls.
But they do gossip quite a bit.
Egg sings The Wall's praises, because there aren't any moderators.
RED FLAG! RED FLAG!
There are a buttload of rules that nobody's going to follow WITHOUT MODERATORS.
Aimee IMs Maddie to tell her about the puppies.
But when they get to the part about there being a dad OTHER than Phin, Madison just signs off.
That's always nice.
Madison is such a drama queen! "My best friend has betrayed me."
They're just puppies! And it's not like you shook on the whole puppy plan.
Yeah, the whole "puppy plan" consisted of a bunch of jokes on how ugly Blossom and Phin's puppies would be.
SHE EVEN ADMITS IT! "It was like a dream of mine. I know we didn't make a formal pact or anything, but isn't a friend's word supposed to count for something?"
Dude, I looked these kinds of puppies up online, and they're adorable!!! Just go online and look up "Bassugg puppies".
Dan: Maddie! I'm so glad you're here. I could use your help big-time.
Madison: I'm glad you're here, too. It's been a bad day. I need cheering up.
Dan: Try cleaning up dog poop and cat poop. That'll cheer you up real fast.
Oh, Dan, you charmer you.
THe conversation takes an awkward turn when Madison mentions "those naked-looking cats".
Dan: *giggle* Naked?
Madison: *blush of death* So, um, about my problems....
Dan thinks Madison should chill out and not be so mad at Aimee.
He also thinks Dr. Wing and Mrs. Wing ran away together, but hey.
Madison's Dad wants to go out to dinner with Stephanie's nephew Kirk.
Madison thinks Kirk will probably be a dork.
And, of course, he's no Hart Jones.
Madison's Excuses for not dining with Kirk:
I have the walk the dog.
I have to wash my hair.
I have to save the world from an alien attack.
This probably spoils everything, but Kirk, in later books, turns out to be a way cute Kountry Gentleman.
Poor, poor Madison.
Yay, "Number the Stars"! That's one of my favorite books!!
Ivy is so evil!!
Ivy: I don't see what the big deal is. I mean, I didn't really fail the test. I only got a D, you know. Mr. Danehy is such a pain.
Joan: Science is so dumb anyway.
Ivy: And if that stupid twit Madison had just sat differently, I could have cheated off her paper, anyhow. She's such a goody-goody.
Joan: You'll pass science.
Ivy: Who really cares? I can always copy Madison's lab notes anyway. I do it all the time when she isn't looking.
Mrs. Wing adopted a baby...and Madison was the last one to know.
Been there, done that.
Meaning I've been the last to know. No, I haven't adopted a baby recently. The last baby I met yelled, "Poop," at me and threatened to beat me up if I spoke again.
Someone who goes to FHJH writes a post about Mrs. Wing on the wall. Maddie is like, "Nooo, everyone knew before me!!"
Someone replies to the post: So what, who cares?
Yeah, really, who cares? My teachers get pregnant all the time.
Aimee and Fiona are so stupid!!! They both post on a board called "Hotties" using their REAL SCREENNAMES!!! Now everyone will know it's them!
Posted by: BalletGrl
Date: 5 Nov
Message: actually I like this guy Ben but no one really knows so shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I should not have written that
Why would you write it if you didn't want anyone to know???
Posted by: Wetwinz
Date: 5 Nov
Message: of course someone who has been flirting w/me a lot wink wink can u guess who? *G*
Aimee sees the humor in the puppy situation.
Aimee: Maddie! I told you that about the puppies when we were in, like, fourth grade! And besides, my mom and dad are the ones who decide who Blossom will have puppies with, not me. And they want basset hounds, not some mix of pug and...Maddie, can you imagine what Blossom and Phin's babies would really look like?
Uh, yeah...they would be SOOO CUTE!
Fiona: By the way, I heard some big news.
Madison: Yeah, yeah, big news, I know. Mrs. Wing had a baby.
Fiona: Huh? What are you talking about? A baby? She did?
Madison: Wait. You didn't know?
Fiona: MRS. WING HAD A BABY? Oh, wow! This is, like, HUGE news. My news is so little and puny compared to yours. I just found out that the soccer team is moving their practice space. Wow! How did you find about Mrs. Wing?
So it turns out Madison isn't the last one to know, but come on, Fiona!! The soccer team is moving their practice space??? WHAT KIND OF NEWS IS THAT???
Oooh, lucky. Madison's school has free period instead of study hall.
Someone posts a REALLY mean message about Lindsay!!
Posted by: LoVeBuG
Date: Nov 6
Message: there is ms. fatty in my class and she is SOOOO fat that she cant even go 2 regular camp LOL she has to go to FAT CAMP and she walks around with a dumb black haircut & purple backpack that looks like she should be in the first grade LOSER!!! I feel bad 4 her yah right NOT FHJH would be better w/o her :)
That's pretty mean, but I thought Lindsay had light brown hair. She even has some on the cover.
Lindsay now wants all of her friends to stop going on the site.
It may be disloyal, but...
...I'd probably keep going on The Wall if I were Madison.
Which she does.
Lindsay: I bet it was the guys. I know they make fun of me because I'm overweight. I heard them once.
Madison: You did?
Lindsay: Yeah. I heard Hart and Chet talking once about who was the prettiest in our class.
Madison: Hart and Chet?
Fiona: What did they say, exactly? My brother is such a geek. Don't listen to him!
Lindsay: I don't remember everyone they were talking about, but I do know they said Ivy was the hottest girl and that some other girls were okay but some were too fat, like me and Beth Sanders.
[!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS SO MEAN!!! Proof that guys suck.]
Fiona: Well, Lindsay. Beth Sanders is fat. She's huge. She takes up two seats at lunch. You're not fat like that.
[I lied, girls suck, too. ESPECIALLY FIONA.]
Madison: That's not the point, guys.
Thank you, Madison.
Lol.
"Madison knew the truth. They would all huff and puff and complain about how terrible it was to post gossip. And then they'd each go home that very night and check the next postings on the gossip page - just in case something interesting came up."
Some people just suck at math. Video games have nothing to do with that.
Madison's Dad reads the Lindsay post outloud, and it sounds kind of funny when he says it.
"What does that text say? 'Fat camp'? 'Looks like she should be in the first grade LOSER'? What is this? This isn't an e-mail from one of your friends, is it?"
Dad thinks girls are meaner than boys.
So true.
Fiona has big news!!!
Fiona: Okay, so he finally, really asked me.
Madison: Asked you? What? Who?"
Fiona: Egg! He asked me out. For real.
Madison: He asked you out? He said those exact words.
Fiona: He wants to go to the movies next week. Can you believe it? I know we're sort of a 'couple', but this really makes a difference
AARGH, NO!! You're not officially a "couple" until he asks you out.
Otherwise, he's just playing you.
I can't believe it's been this long and he JUST NOW asked her out.
Egg's a playa....
Whoa, Madison stands up to Ivy in this one! And it's really funny!
Madison: You obviously don't know the meaning of the word homework, Ivy. It means you actually have to do work, at home.
Ivy: Well, YOU obviously don't understand what it means to be partners, Madison. It means that occasionally you show me your notes. I would do the exact same for you.
Madison: Yeah. If you ever took notes.
Ivy: Excuse me?
Madison: Look, Ivy, I have to go. Why don't you just ask Mr. Danehy for help?
PWNED!!
Why is Fiona so overdramatic??
Fiona: Maddie, I can't believe you!
Madison: What happened?
Fiona: You promised you wouldn't tell!!
Madison: Fiona...
Fiona: I thought you were my friend. How could you?
Madison: Please tell me what's wrong.
Fiona: Why don't you read The Wall? You'll see what I'm talking about, Maddie. You'll see.
Posted by: MF13
Date: 8 Nov
Message: some secrets r way 2 hard 2 keep even about my friends F.W. sez its all god but she and W.D. probably want to hook up @ the movies next week I know it what a j-o-k-e they are so NOT innocent :)
:O Okay, "Madison" basically called Fiona a slut, but Fiona seems more mad that "Madison" told her secret.
Yeah, you should keep your friends' secrets, but what's secret about being asked out?? Wouldn't you be happy? Wouldn't you WANT to share the news with everyone? I mean, you're already "a couple", right???
So, even though I know Madison didn't write this, she shouldn't have told the secret, but WHY WAS IT A SECRET IN THE FIRST PLACE?
Um, duh. Egg told everyone. Big surprise.
Madison thinks it might be Chet, then feels bad and insists they shouldn't do anything.
Why would Chet do that...AND use Madison's scrnnme? Confused.
Madison wants to know if Dan ever made up a fake screenname for himself.
Who hasn't?? No offense, Maddie, but MadFinn kind of sucks.
Aimee has a secret, too! She might get a lead in the next ballet production!
$100 it'll be on The Wall tomorrow.
Madison's gym shorts are sort of tight and Ivy makes fun of them.
I thought tight things were in?? Ivy's just jealous.
Hehehe, Madison gets paired up with Ivy for volleyball.
Ivy: I despise volleyball.
That makes two of us.
Madison: You just despise everything and everyone.
Heheheheheh.
Madison finds a bulletin about Aimee on the wall...supposedly posted by herself. Instead of calling Aimee about it, she retreats to her files to be emo???
Whatever. Aimee will be calling to yell at you in like 2 minutes anyway.
Aimee and Madison have a fight. Aimee drags up stuff from the past, about all the times Madison has lied (she's only lied once). Aimee sort of sucks.
Lol.
As Aimee's leaving, she turns around and screams, "THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!"
Egg thinks Fiona is stupid for being mad at Madison.
Go Egg!
Ivy gets "gravity" and "relativity" mixed up.
.....
Heh. Ivy and Madison have to do a science project together...and Madison makes Ivy do all the work. Payback.
Ivy: What did you find in the back?
Madison: No much. We should do more research upstairs in the media center, thought. Can you go look after school?
Ivy: Me? Why don't you go look after school.
Madison: I have an after-school conflict today.
Ivy: Well, I have a conflict, too. Like, I don't do science work after school. That's my conflict.
Madison: Maybe we should each write our own paper. I can ask Mr. Danehy if we can split-
Ivy: NO! Okay, I'll look in the media center. Don't throw a hissy about it. Gosh, you always overreact. What a drama queen.
GO MADISON!!
Mr. Danehy gives Ivy an F!!
Today is not Ivy's day.
Ugh, I hate it when people read over my shoulder!!!
Lance is a creepy kid.
Mrs. Wing brings her baby Phoebe to school.
Lance: My cousin had a big, fatso baby. He was so huge, he looked like he was stuffed.
Thanks, Lance.
Boys like babies, too.
It seems like Bigwheels is always either sick or grounded.
"SORRY I wasn't on my computer, but I was SICK and GROUNDED at the SAME TIME."
"Friends are forever, boys are whatever!"
What if all your friends are boys??
Madison wants revenge.
Noooo, don't do it, Madison! Revenge is never the answer!!
Madison writes a post about Ivy.
Posted by: MF13
Date: 11 Nov
Message: More big newz @ FHJH this time its I.D. in trouble wow is she ever. The WITCH is failing science. Yeah I.D. begged Mr. D. to pass her but he said no way so now the school is planning to EXPEL her...it is soooo bad Not only that but I heard that NO other school in the district wants to accept her b/c she has no real friends n e way LOL in fact there r no guys who will even look @ her b/c she dresses
That's as far as she gets before she accidentally publishes it.
Okay, who would even believe that? The part about having no friends and being a slut is pretty mean, but she wouldn't get EXPELLED for failing science.
Duh. Summer school.
Madison has become a pathological liar.
The bulletin won't be removed for 24 hours.
You sort of deserve it, Madison.
Revenge is never the answer.
"Now...Ivy will probably read what I posted and...she'll hate me forever and..."
"Wait just a minute, Maddie. I thought you and Ivy weren't friends anymore anyway."
Yeah!! What do you care what she thinks??
Shouldn't you be more worried about hurting her feelings than how she'll think of you? Because I'm pretty sure she already hates you.
Madison: Why are parents always right? And why am I always wrong?
Trust me, honey. Parents are NOT always right.
Lol, her dad is so delightfully evil.
"You're kidding! Oh, Maddie, you are most definitely going to tell your mother everything, from the beinning. We had a deal."
That's like on "Dan in Real Life".
"So Marty can stay?"
"*hysterical laughter* Marty can STAY???"
Madison can never go on The Wall again.
She is officially Off the Wall (that's where the title comes in).
Wait, MF13 is the one who's not allowed on the wall.
Madison could just create a new screename and go on whenever she wanted.
WtH???????
Lindsay, Aimee, and Fiona came over to apologize.
Why the sudden epiphany??
And why is Lindsay apologizing, too???
Madison had nothing to do with her Fat Camp thing!!! Lindsay probably didn't even know about the whole fight until now.
WHAT IS SHE DOING THERE??
It turns out Ivy told Hart she was MF13, and Hart told Chet who told Fiona.
Boys aren't the only shallow ones.
Such as girl on basketball team??
"Lauren, you'd be really pretty if you did this to your hair."
Um...thanks.
NICE!!! Madison's mom took away her laptop and is keeping it under lock and key in her desk drawer!!! Madison can only use it for one hour each day to check her e-mail!!
Finally! Good parenting!
Madison is super mean to Lance...even if he is a nerd.
Madison: I'm outta here.
Lance: But I just got here.
Madison: So? See you in class tomorrow.
Duh, Lance, you're the reason she's leaving.
Ivy: I'm never going to forget, you know.
Madison: Elephants never forget.
Ivy: Who are you calling.... OOOOOH! You think you're sooooo smart, don't you?
Madison just smiles and walks away.
The one time turning the other cheek actually WORKED.
Bigwheels is grounded because she told some kids a scary story.
Whatever. I bet it was the one about the finger.
Ew, I hate youngest children.
Madison's Computer Tip:
Beware of online gossip.
Truer words were never spoken.
I just read the last 2 Pony Pals books, and they were surprisingly enjoyable and kind of sad. Lulu's dad SUCKS; he's probably the worst father ever. So does Mrs. Crandal. It's like good parents don't EXIST in Wiggins. But that's all tomorrow; I have stuff to do.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Unkept promises abound, or Pony Pals Super Special #4: The Fourth Pony Pal
So it's the FOURTH Super Special and it's about the FOURTH Pony Pal. Sorry. Not really funny.
Plot: Pam wants to take part in a jumping clinic in Virginia, so she and her Pony Pals go on a road trip!!! w00t!!!
When they get to the clinic, Mrs. Foster (the person in charge) is a total snob, and all the other girls are wankers. Shelly, Mrs. Foster's daughter, is just as mean as everyone else, but seems withdrawn and sad a lot of the time.
The meddling Pony Pals get to the bottom of it: Shelly misses her pony Midnight Ride, but is angry at her mother and best friend Brooke because they'd been advising her to dump Midnight Ride before he DIED of COLIC.
Ooooh, that burns.
The Pony Pals comfort Shelly, convince her to cry it out, and help her reconnect with her mother.
Then they go home.
More notes:
Lulu casually mentions homework. It seems like the Pony Pals NEVER GO TO SCHOOL.
Summer vacation again???
Wait...the clinic is in Virginia. Isn't that where Lulu's godsister or whatever Alicia lives?? And they're not going to go visit? I guess Alicia doesn't exist anymore.
They get a letter from Eleanor Morgan, the pro stadium jumper from #21. She writes like a 10-year-old.
Pam's dad is all, "Oh no, a week without Pam, what will I do?"
Shut up, Robert. You should be jumping for joy.
At least I think his name is Robert. Didn't he say his name was Robert that one time?
Anna feels like she's missing something important....
Underwear? No, not underwear.
Shoes? No, of course not.
Pads? Heck no, why would she need that?
Oh duh - ART SUPPLIES!
Grandmother Sanders gives them a beauty kit to take with them. Read: So you 3 won't look like slobs at the jumping clinic.
They live in Conneticutt (I know I spelled that wrong), right? It takes them 4 HOURS to get to Virginia. I don't think so. Mapquest says 9.
They act like people make a big deal about whether you have a horse or a pony. No, Pam, I don't think anyone cares.
Mrs. Foster is wonderfully polite ...until Pam's mom leaves.
Mrs. Foster: You shouldn't have disappeared like that. All your friends are upstairs.
Shelly: They're not my friends. They're your students.
Nice, a character with backbone!
Anna is such a freak!
"When we stay over at Pam's we sleep in the barn. We call ourselves the Pony Pals and love to trail ride."
And you wonder why you don't make friends easily....
Pam: Hi. I'm Pam Crandal. The tall one.
Um, the black one....
They have a palomino pony...named GOLDIE.
Proving that no one has any originality.
Heh. Mrs. Foster splits them up.
Pam is kind of stupid.
Shelly: Tell Brooke that my mother wants to speak with her.
Pam: *turns to Brooke* Shelly said-
Brooke: No duh, I'm not deaf.
Brooke and Shelly are fighting. Pam is sharing a room with them. Should be fun. XP
"Anna didn't mention the lucky upside-down heart marking on Lightning's forehead. She had a feeling Shelly wouldn't care."
I don't care either, Anna.
Sweet. Shelly is antisocial and feisty. We have a lot in common, Shelly!
Okay, I know these girls like horses, but there are OTHER horse books and movies that DON'T involve Black Beauty.
Everyone likes to talk about themselves, Pam. What's wrong with you?
Brooke is Regina from "Mean Girls".
Shelly seems upset. Pam wonders if Shelly lost a big competition.
Or maybe someone died, perhaps?
Bells say ding-dong, ding-dong. What kind of bell says dong-dong, dong-dong?
Shelly tells Brooke where to stuff it when Brooke mistakenly makes fun of the Pony Pals. Yeaaah!
Mrs. Foster: Quiet, you two. Watch carefully. You can learn a lot just by observing.
Anna: I can learn how to be bored.
Lol.
The Pony Pals want to know what Shelly's problem is and why she's so sad and angry.
I want to know why it's any of their business.
Anna and Snow White escape. In the process of looking for them, Pam sets off the burglar alarm. Hahaha, it wakes EVERYONE up.
I notice no one in this series ever has short hair or glasses. If they're a girl, anyway. For boys, that's true, too...except for the short hair part.
They start talking about ponies and Shelly runs away crying.
RED FLAG!
Her pony's name was Midnight Ride. -_- Guess what color he was?
"Shelly is a lot angry at her mother. We all wonder why."
Not only is that HORRIBLE grammar, but it should seem pretty obvious why Shelly hates her mom; the woman's a PSYCHO.
Anna has come a long way. Instead of instantly labeling people "snobs", she gives Shelly another chance.
Brooke: More Pony Pal secrets?
Lulu: Yes, and they're all about you, Brooke.
Pwned!!
To make friends with Shelly, they write her a letter????
But you guys are staying in the same house!!
Shelly doesn't want to play therapist with the Pony Pals, but she'd rather hang out with them than watch...*drumroll*..."Black Beauty"!
What is their obsession with this movie, as well as spaghetti, brownies, and grilled cheese sandwiches?
Shelly probably shouldn't watch a movie about a black horse. Might set her off again. Whatever.
"I was the only one who cried when Midnight Ride died."
Awwwwww....
Okay, lame. When Shelly tells them she has no interest in competing, Lulu and Anna understand.
But when Pam, in the beginning of the series, told them she HATED competing and had no interest in doing so, they EMOTIONALLY BLACKMAILED her into competing.
These guys SUCK.
Mrs. Foster has a horse named Royal Star.
What a prissy name.
Shelly writes a book about Midnight Ride and gives it to her mom.
Shelly got Midnight Ride when she was 6, and he died of colic when she was 10.
That really sucks.
Shelly: I don't want to live here anymore. I'm going to run away.
Anna: You can come to Wiggins with us if you want, but don't run away.
Whaaat? If you take her to Wiggins with you, you'll be HELPING her run away. SO CONFUSED.
Mrs. Foster promises to be less of a stiff.
Shelly: Is this what the Pony Pals do all the time?
Anna: Not ALL the time. But we trail ride a lot.
They also as participate in parades, man face-painting booths, catch hunters in the act, rescue hamsters, herd sheep, train ponies, find little girls and lost ponies, save ponies, tutor dyslexic girls, heal sick ponies, bargain with sellers, comfort dying ponies, tame wild ponies, join the circus, brave blizzards, give people makeovers, babysit, give blind ponies sight, manipulate and persuade, put out fires, adopt stray cats, take care of elderly ponies, help girls run away, build secret clubhouses, compete in horse shows, barrel race, watch bears, act in movies, find dogs, help birth foals, rescue abused animals, go back in time, communicate with animals, and help the environment.
Shelly's new friends Linda and Mary Ellen have ponies, too!
One is an Appaloosa named Smoothie, for his smooth gait (aaaaagh!).
Now they're all best friends and call themselves the Pony Pals, too.
Doesn't this happen in ALL Pony Pal books? They meet a new girl, make friends with her, convert her to their religion, and then send her home, where she creates her own three person Pony Cult. Creepy.
Only 3 Pony Pals books left: #37, #38, and Super Special #6.
Then it's all over.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Plot: Pam wants to take part in a jumping clinic in Virginia, so she and her Pony Pals go on a road trip!!! w00t!!!
When they get to the clinic, Mrs. Foster (the person in charge) is a total snob, and all the other girls are wankers. Shelly, Mrs. Foster's daughter, is just as mean as everyone else, but seems withdrawn and sad a lot of the time.
The meddling Pony Pals get to the bottom of it: Shelly misses her pony Midnight Ride, but is angry at her mother and best friend Brooke because they'd been advising her to dump Midnight Ride before he DIED of COLIC.
Ooooh, that burns.
The Pony Pals comfort Shelly, convince her to cry it out, and help her reconnect with her mother.
Then they go home.
More notes:
Lulu casually mentions homework. It seems like the Pony Pals NEVER GO TO SCHOOL.
Summer vacation again???
Wait...the clinic is in Virginia. Isn't that where Lulu's godsister or whatever Alicia lives?? And they're not going to go visit? I guess Alicia doesn't exist anymore.
They get a letter from Eleanor Morgan, the pro stadium jumper from #21. She writes like a 10-year-old.
Pam's dad is all, "Oh no, a week without Pam, what will I do?"
Shut up, Robert. You should be jumping for joy.
At least I think his name is Robert. Didn't he say his name was Robert that one time?
Anna feels like she's missing something important....
Underwear? No, not underwear.
Shoes? No, of course not.
Pads? Heck no, why would she need that?
Oh duh - ART SUPPLIES!
Grandmother Sanders gives them a beauty kit to take with them. Read: So you 3 won't look like slobs at the jumping clinic.
They live in Conneticutt (I know I spelled that wrong), right? It takes them 4 HOURS to get to Virginia. I don't think so. Mapquest says 9.
They act like people make a big deal about whether you have a horse or a pony. No, Pam, I don't think anyone cares.
Mrs. Foster is wonderfully polite ...until Pam's mom leaves.
Mrs. Foster: You shouldn't have disappeared like that. All your friends are upstairs.
Shelly: They're not my friends. They're your students.
Nice, a character with backbone!
Anna is such a freak!
"When we stay over at Pam's we sleep in the barn. We call ourselves the Pony Pals and love to trail ride."
And you wonder why you don't make friends easily....
Pam: Hi. I'm Pam Crandal. The tall one.
Um, the black one....
They have a palomino pony...named GOLDIE.
Proving that no one has any originality.
Heh. Mrs. Foster splits them up.
Pam is kind of stupid.
Shelly: Tell Brooke that my mother wants to speak with her.
Pam: *turns to Brooke* Shelly said-
Brooke: No duh, I'm not deaf.
Brooke and Shelly are fighting. Pam is sharing a room with them. Should be fun. XP
"Anna didn't mention the lucky upside-down heart marking on Lightning's forehead. She had a feeling Shelly wouldn't care."
I don't care either, Anna.
Sweet. Shelly is antisocial and feisty. We have a lot in common, Shelly!
Okay, I know these girls like horses, but there are OTHER horse books and movies that DON'T involve Black Beauty.
Everyone likes to talk about themselves, Pam. What's wrong with you?
Brooke is Regina from "Mean Girls".
Shelly seems upset. Pam wonders if Shelly lost a big competition.
Or maybe someone died, perhaps?
Bells say ding-dong, ding-dong. What kind of bell says dong-dong, dong-dong?
Shelly tells Brooke where to stuff it when Brooke mistakenly makes fun of the Pony Pals. Yeaaah!
Mrs. Foster: Quiet, you two. Watch carefully. You can learn a lot just by observing.
Anna: I can learn how to be bored.
Lol.
The Pony Pals want to know what Shelly's problem is and why she's so sad and angry.
I want to know why it's any of their business.
Anna and Snow White escape. In the process of looking for them, Pam sets off the burglar alarm. Hahaha, it wakes EVERYONE up.
I notice no one in this series ever has short hair or glasses. If they're a girl, anyway. For boys, that's true, too...except for the short hair part.
They start talking about ponies and Shelly runs away crying.
RED FLAG!
Her pony's name was Midnight Ride. -_- Guess what color he was?
"Shelly is a lot angry at her mother. We all wonder why."
Not only is that HORRIBLE grammar, but it should seem pretty obvious why Shelly hates her mom; the woman's a PSYCHO.
Anna has come a long way. Instead of instantly labeling people "snobs", she gives Shelly another chance.
Brooke: More Pony Pal secrets?
Lulu: Yes, and they're all about you, Brooke.
Pwned!!
To make friends with Shelly, they write her a letter????
But you guys are staying in the same house!!
Shelly doesn't want to play therapist with the Pony Pals, but she'd rather hang out with them than watch...*drumroll*..."Black Beauty"!
What is their obsession with this movie, as well as spaghetti, brownies, and grilled cheese sandwiches?
Shelly probably shouldn't watch a movie about a black horse. Might set her off again. Whatever.
"I was the only one who cried when Midnight Ride died."
Awwwwww....
Okay, lame. When Shelly tells them she has no interest in competing, Lulu and Anna understand.
But when Pam, in the beginning of the series, told them she HATED competing and had no interest in doing so, they EMOTIONALLY BLACKMAILED her into competing.
These guys SUCK.
Mrs. Foster has a horse named Royal Star.
What a prissy name.
Shelly writes a book about Midnight Ride and gives it to her mom.
Shelly got Midnight Ride when she was 6, and he died of colic when she was 10.
That really sucks.
Shelly: I don't want to live here anymore. I'm going to run away.
Anna: You can come to Wiggins with us if you want, but don't run away.
Whaaat? If you take her to Wiggins with you, you'll be HELPING her run away. SO CONFUSED.
Mrs. Foster promises to be less of a stiff.
Shelly: Is this what the Pony Pals do all the time?
Anna: Not ALL the time. But we trail ride a lot.
They also as participate in parades, man face-painting booths, catch hunters in the act, rescue hamsters, herd sheep, train ponies, find little girls and lost ponies, save ponies, tutor dyslexic girls, heal sick ponies, bargain with sellers, comfort dying ponies, tame wild ponies, join the circus, brave blizzards, give people makeovers, babysit, give blind ponies sight, manipulate and persuade, put out fires, adopt stray cats, take care of elderly ponies, help girls run away, build secret clubhouses, compete in horse shows, barrel race, watch bears, act in movies, find dogs, help birth foals, rescue abused animals, go back in time, communicate with animals, and help the environment.
Shelly's new friends Linda and Mary Ellen have ponies, too!
One is an Appaloosa named Smoothie, for his smooth gait (aaaaagh!).
Now they're all best friends and call themselves the Pony Pals, too.
Doesn't this happen in ALL Pony Pal books? They meet a new girl, make friends with her, convert her to their religion, and then send her home, where she creates her own three person Pony Cult. Creepy.
Only 3 Pony Pals books left: #37, #38, and Super Special #6.
Then it's all over.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
This could have been an R. L. Stine "Fear Street" novel, or FTFO Madison Finn #12: Lights Out!
Okay, looking at Dan Ginsburg on the cover of his book, he's not that fat. In fact, he's not fat at all. They call him Pork-O and everything, but Dan's actually in better shape than Egg, who looks anorexic. And he has cool shoes (also compared to Egg, who has some weird Elvis-esque blue suede shoes).
Plot: The Far Hills Junior High seventh grade class is going on a three-day trip to Jasper Woods, where they will face their fears and stay in cabins and whatnot. Madison is beyond excited. Sure, there will be no bath towels, hot showers, snacking, TV, internet access, reading material, but... Hang on. This trip doesn't sound fun anymore.
It's too late to back out now. The day arrives and Madison heads on the bus with her best friends.
There's trouble right off the bat. Madison and her friends are forced to share a cabin with POISON IVY!!
Also, Fiona seems super jealous of Madison and Egg's tight relationship. Even though Madison insists they are just friends, Fiona seems to believe otherwise.
Jasper Woods is throwing out its own challenges as well: a Talent Show, a haunted cabin, and something called THE TOWER that has Madison scareder than scared.
Here's how things work out:
The talent show goes well. Madison, Aimee, Lindsay, and Fiona sing a song about frienship. They don't win any prizes, but that's okay because most of them are tone deaf anyway.
Fiona forgives Madison for stealing Egg (um, whatever), and "allows" her to remain friends with her main squeeze. Whore.
Madison hears ghosts and leads Hart, Dan, Egg, and Fiona on a ghost hunt, proving to a terrified Ivy that she's NOT chicken.
Madison climbs THE TOWER, and though no one cares, she is proud to have conquered her fear of heights.
All in all, an okay trip.
More notes:
Madison is sitting in math class, watching the clock, and it starts moving BACKWARDS. I swear, that happens to me all the time.
Egg gets pwned. And has to do the problem on the board.
Ivy: I have to bring my new camera to Jasper Woods. And my hair dyer, of course.
Joan: And don't forget the curling iron, too, right? YOu wanna look good for you-know-who.
Oh, I know who, you backstabbing little skank.
Fiona: I am so stressed! Egg just ignored me. He raced by and wouldn't even stop when I called after him. He won't talk to me!
Been there, done that.
"Madison bit her lip. Hart was wearing a rugby shirt with blue and gold stripes and khaki pants. She noticed how his brown hair was getting long on top. It whooshed over his forehead. She wished she could touch it - just once."
That's the closest Madison comes to a dirty thought.
To temporarily replace Madison's laptop (which won't be allowed on the class trip), Frannie buys Madison an orange notebook.
Whenever my grandma buys me those, they're red. Not complaining, but blue would be nice.
Aargh, Bigwheels' boyfriend is a jerk, too. He just randomly stopped talking to her. I guess it's catching.
So to cheer her up, her dad bought her a kitten named Sparkles!
It turns out there's a talent show...and Madison's the ONLY ONE who didn't bring something nice to wear for it.
Oops.
Ugh, that sucks.
Heh, Madison elbows Ivy in the face...or tries to. She ends up hitting Hart.
Lame. She and Hart discuss THE WEATHER.
Jealous. Lindsay has a Hello Kitty backpack.
And she bought a DRESS for the talent show. A DRESS? It's a junior high talent show! It's not THAT big a deal, Lindsay!
ROFL, they play Mash!! Madison lists Egg under the Guy column and Fiona FLIPS OUT. Jealous much?
She ends up marrying Egg, becoming a pop diva, and living in a jungle shack with her 99 kids.
Aimee tells Madison about a "haunted" cabin.
I vaguely remember a friend of mine telling me about the bear cabin....
Counselor: Lunches are by the main lodge, girls.
Ivy: That was James. And - whoa - he is a total hottie.
Joan: Would you go out with him?
Ivy: He's not really my type.
Yeah. Because I'm sure counselors like him are so interested in dating jailbait.
Dan: Do we have to wear costumes? I saw that some people have them, but I didn't bring anything.
Madison: Don't worry so much.
Hypocrite.
Uh oh. Egg and Madison have a leaf fight. It must mean they're fooling around behind your back, Fiona.
They pick a song for the talent show called "That's What Friends Are For". I swear that's a Michael W. Smith song.
Weeeeeird.
Egg: Do you wanna be part of our routine? [for the talent show]
Madison: Me? Why me?
Egg: Because you're my best friend who's a girl.
Madison: Maybe you should ask someone else. Like Fiona.
After she says no, Egg asks IVY instead. Lame.
Haaa. Lindsay listens to the weather channel on her portable radio. Point and laugh!
Rather than forgo her vegetarian diet, Aimee snubs the hot dogs and eats a plate of tomatoes for dinner. Mmmmm....
Camp songs!! Honk, honk, rattle, rattle, toot, toot, beep, beep!
Madison doesn't know any camp songs. She's never been to camp.
Madison is tempted to reveal her crush so her friends might make fun of her in a joking way.
DON'T GIVE IN, MADISON, DON'T GIVE IN!!
Ha. No one will go to the bathroom with Ivy. Not even her best friends.
Apparently the gym teacher is into New Age and meditation. What happened to the jock stereotype?
Uh oh. Chet and Fiona get in a mudfight...and Madison laughs. Fiona is REALLY PMS-y in this book.
"Egg wasn't laughing, was he?" "Egg? Never saw a laugh."
That superstitious Madison. She thinks the tower is A BAD OMEN.
Dan loves camp.
I love Dan.
Aimee thinks they should've sung "We Are the Champions" by Queen rather than the Michael W. Smith reject song.
I reckon you're right, Aimee.
Madison gets mud on her pants. It's semi-funny.
"Could she really be expected to take bigger risks at camp when she couldn't even keep her pants clean?"
They go on a lamesauce scavenger hunt.
Oh no, there's 13 items they need to find! That's unlucky. Aargh, Maddie's superstitions are rubbing off on me.
They combine with the boys in order to win.
They need something smelly.
"Hart could just lay a big one in there. Hart fart!"
A tidbit for later: Hart has a pet parrot?
Ew, macaroni and cheese with ketchup. That's disgusting.
ARGH, WE GET IT! DAN EATS A LOT!
Egg: Fiona. What's her deal?
Madison: What do you mean? I thought you guys were a couple.
Egg: What does that mean?
Madison: A couple...going out...boyfriend and-
Egg: Ack! Don't say it. She acts like we should be attached at the hip. It weirds me out. I mean, I like her and all that, but...
Madison: *why is he telling me this in the middle of dinner at camp?*
Uh-oh.
Fiona: *sniff* You two seem to be having fun.
Egg: Just hanging.
Madison: Yeah, Egg's a fungi. [inside joke]
Fiona: I thought you were my friend. *runs away crying*
Fiona wants to ditch them all because she's "depressed".
The four of them wear T-shirts that say "Friends" "Are" "Forever" "!!!!!!"
The talent show: Egg's group is called the Dudes. They rap with hockey sticks. Ivy walks around and poses. Wth? How is that talent?
No way, this IS a Michael W. Smith song, I know it!
Ivy's group sings "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" while playing beach volleyball.
To make Madison mad, I guess, Fiona starts talking to Ivy. Wth?
LOL! The teachers perform "I Heard It Through the Grapevine". Mr. Danehy does a tap dance!!!!
Haha. Ivy can't find the cabin's light switch.
Oooh, now they're telling scary stories!!
Aagh, Fiona's going to tell a really "scary" (read: stupid) one. Since when does she tell scary stories? The one about Mrs. Martin really freaked her out.
"Once upon a time, a little boy was digging in the backyard and he found a toe. Anyway, the boy went to bed. As he was curling up under the blankets, he heard this slow, slow breathing noise. 'Where's my t-o-o-o-o-o-oh?' the voice said."
Basically, this goes on for 10 minutes until Fiona grabs Ivy and says, "YOU'VE GOT IT!"
Ivy freaks out. Noyce.
Uh oh. The boys sneak into the girls' cabin. Wth? Where are the counselors? This should so not be happening.
"Hey, Hart. I was so scared. Thank goodness it's just you. *bats eyelashes*"
Yeah, that's hot, Ivy. XP
Madison sucks up to Fiona in order to become friends again.
They hear scratching noises. Madison goes to investigate, which impresses Hart QUITE a bit.
Ivy: YOu don't have to be such a show-off, Maddie. You look really dumb, you know.
Madison: I don't care.
YEAH MADDIE!!!
Madison makes a Bible joke. Lol.
Ewwwww.
Egg: You really think our surprise was fun?
Fiona: You know how I feel, Egg.
Dan: Quit getting all sappy! You guys are so weird!
Fiona offers a LAME, LAME apology, which Madison, of course, accepts.
"Why so glum, chum? Hungry?"
Dan, I love you.
AAAH, AND HE'S SCARED OF THE TOWER, TOO!!!
"HART! Hart, I was looking for you. We saved you a seat over here. Come on. Come on!"
I hate Ivy.
w00t, Obstacle course!
Ivy is such a lying wimp.
"I don't want to hurt myself. And I don't want to break one of my nails. That would be even worse."
God forbid THAT should happen.
Madison climbs THE TOWER...with an orange helmet on. GOOD OMEN.
And Hart is too busy cheering for Ivy. :(
Madison: You can go, Ivy. Go away. I'm the new queen of the wilderness.
Unfortunately, she doesn't actually say that to Ivy's face.
Fiona's back to her flaky, loser self!
"One day she'd admit her feelings to Hart's face. One day."
Madison's scavenger hunt team wins 2nd place. Not bad.
The Dudes win "Most Creative Use of Props".
So Ivy was just a prop?
I guess she is pretty fake.
The BFFs (Madison's Talent Show group) wins 3rd place in the All-Around category. Whatever that is.
ROFL!!
Aimee: Grrrr...it was those minishorts.
Egg wins "Best Leader".
Fiona and Egg win "Best Athlete". It's not like Fiona did anything athletic the whole time they were there.
Madison and Dan win "Best Camp Spirit".
They carve their initials into the wall of their cabin. Yeah, vandalism!
Lindsay is too scared to play MASH. In case, you know, it comes TRUE.
Because, you know, you MIGHT JUST marry Brad Pitt and have 99 kids!
"It's not a big deal in the world or anything, but... I don't know. It is a big deal to me. I won something."
Like Monk!
As soon as she gets home, Madison goes on her laptop. Lol, same here.
Ewwww, Reggie apologize to Bigwheels and they're back together.
Awww, Drew sends Madison a picture of her at the top of THE TOWER. It boosts her self-esteem. How nice.
Madison's Computer Tip:
I realize that being on the computer 24/7 isn't good for anyone.
Thanks, Madison.
Yay, I have Pony Pals!!! A super special, in fact. It's not that great, but it's something. Stay tuned.
Plot: The Far Hills Junior High seventh grade class is going on a three-day trip to Jasper Woods, where they will face their fears and stay in cabins and whatnot. Madison is beyond excited. Sure, there will be no bath towels, hot showers, snacking, TV, internet access, reading material, but... Hang on. This trip doesn't sound fun anymore.
It's too late to back out now. The day arrives and Madison heads on the bus with her best friends.
There's trouble right off the bat. Madison and her friends are forced to share a cabin with POISON IVY!!
Also, Fiona seems super jealous of Madison and Egg's tight relationship. Even though Madison insists they are just friends, Fiona seems to believe otherwise.
Jasper Woods is throwing out its own challenges as well: a Talent Show, a haunted cabin, and something called THE TOWER that has Madison scareder than scared.
Here's how things work out:
The talent show goes well. Madison, Aimee, Lindsay, and Fiona sing a song about frienship. They don't win any prizes, but that's okay because most of them are tone deaf anyway.
Fiona forgives Madison for stealing Egg (um, whatever), and "allows" her to remain friends with her main squeeze. Whore.
Madison hears ghosts and leads Hart, Dan, Egg, and Fiona on a ghost hunt, proving to a terrified Ivy that she's NOT chicken.
Madison climbs THE TOWER, and though no one cares, she is proud to have conquered her fear of heights.
All in all, an okay trip.
More notes:
Madison is sitting in math class, watching the clock, and it starts moving BACKWARDS. I swear, that happens to me all the time.
Egg gets pwned. And has to do the problem on the board.
Ivy: I have to bring my new camera to Jasper Woods. And my hair dyer, of course.
Joan: And don't forget the curling iron, too, right? YOu wanna look good for you-know-who.
Oh, I know who, you backstabbing little skank.
Fiona: I am so stressed! Egg just ignored me. He raced by and wouldn't even stop when I called after him. He won't talk to me!
Been there, done that.
"Madison bit her lip. Hart was wearing a rugby shirt with blue and gold stripes and khaki pants. She noticed how his brown hair was getting long on top. It whooshed over his forehead. She wished she could touch it - just once."
That's the closest Madison comes to a dirty thought.
To temporarily replace Madison's laptop (which won't be allowed on the class trip), Frannie buys Madison an orange notebook.
Whenever my grandma buys me those, they're red. Not complaining, but blue would be nice.
Aargh, Bigwheels' boyfriend is a jerk, too. He just randomly stopped talking to her. I guess it's catching.
So to cheer her up, her dad bought her a kitten named Sparkles!
It turns out there's a talent show...and Madison's the ONLY ONE who didn't bring something nice to wear for it.
Oops.
Ugh, that sucks.
Heh, Madison elbows Ivy in the face...or tries to. She ends up hitting Hart.
Lame. She and Hart discuss THE WEATHER.
Jealous. Lindsay has a Hello Kitty backpack.
And she bought a DRESS for the talent show. A DRESS? It's a junior high talent show! It's not THAT big a deal, Lindsay!
ROFL, they play Mash!! Madison lists Egg under the Guy column and Fiona FLIPS OUT. Jealous much?
She ends up marrying Egg, becoming a pop diva, and living in a jungle shack with her 99 kids.
Aimee tells Madison about a "haunted" cabin.
I vaguely remember a friend of mine telling me about the bear cabin....
Counselor: Lunches are by the main lodge, girls.
Ivy: That was James. And - whoa - he is a total hottie.
Joan: Would you go out with him?
Ivy: He's not really my type.
Yeah. Because I'm sure counselors like him are so interested in dating jailbait.
Dan: Do we have to wear costumes? I saw that some people have them, but I didn't bring anything.
Madison: Don't worry so much.
Hypocrite.
Uh oh. Egg and Madison have a leaf fight. It must mean they're fooling around behind your back, Fiona.
They pick a song for the talent show called "That's What Friends Are For". I swear that's a Michael W. Smith song.
Weeeeeird.
Egg: Do you wanna be part of our routine? [for the talent show]
Madison: Me? Why me?
Egg: Because you're my best friend who's a girl.
Madison: Maybe you should ask someone else. Like Fiona.
After she says no, Egg asks IVY instead. Lame.
Haaa. Lindsay listens to the weather channel on her portable radio. Point and laugh!
Rather than forgo her vegetarian diet, Aimee snubs the hot dogs and eats a plate of tomatoes for dinner. Mmmmm....
Camp songs!! Honk, honk, rattle, rattle, toot, toot, beep, beep!
Madison doesn't know any camp songs. She's never been to camp.
Madison is tempted to reveal her crush so her friends might make fun of her in a joking way.
DON'T GIVE IN, MADISON, DON'T GIVE IN!!
Ha. No one will go to the bathroom with Ivy. Not even her best friends.
Apparently the gym teacher is into New Age and meditation. What happened to the jock stereotype?
Uh oh. Chet and Fiona get in a mudfight...and Madison laughs. Fiona is REALLY PMS-y in this book.
"Egg wasn't laughing, was he?" "Egg? Never saw a laugh."
That superstitious Madison. She thinks the tower is A BAD OMEN.
Dan loves camp.
I love Dan.
Aimee thinks they should've sung "We Are the Champions" by Queen rather than the Michael W. Smith reject song.
I reckon you're right, Aimee.
Madison gets mud on her pants. It's semi-funny.
"Could she really be expected to take bigger risks at camp when she couldn't even keep her pants clean?"
They go on a lamesauce scavenger hunt.
Oh no, there's 13 items they need to find! That's unlucky. Aargh, Maddie's superstitions are rubbing off on me.
They combine with the boys in order to win.
They need something smelly.
"Hart could just lay a big one in there. Hart fart!"
A tidbit for later: Hart has a pet parrot?
Ew, macaroni and cheese with ketchup. That's disgusting.
ARGH, WE GET IT! DAN EATS A LOT!
Egg: Fiona. What's her deal?
Madison: What do you mean? I thought you guys were a couple.
Egg: What does that mean?
Madison: A couple...going out...boyfriend and-
Egg: Ack! Don't say it. She acts like we should be attached at the hip. It weirds me out. I mean, I like her and all that, but...
Madison: *why is he telling me this in the middle of dinner at camp?*
Uh-oh.
Fiona: *sniff* You two seem to be having fun.
Egg: Just hanging.
Madison: Yeah, Egg's a fungi. [inside joke]
Fiona: I thought you were my friend. *runs away crying*
Fiona wants to ditch them all because she's "depressed".
The four of them wear T-shirts that say "Friends" "Are" "Forever" "!!!!!!"
The talent show: Egg's group is called the Dudes. They rap with hockey sticks. Ivy walks around and poses. Wth? How is that talent?
No way, this IS a Michael W. Smith song, I know it!
Ivy's group sings "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" while playing beach volleyball.
To make Madison mad, I guess, Fiona starts talking to Ivy. Wth?
LOL! The teachers perform "I Heard It Through the Grapevine". Mr. Danehy does a tap dance!!!!
Haha. Ivy can't find the cabin's light switch.
Oooh, now they're telling scary stories!!
Aagh, Fiona's going to tell a really "scary" (read: stupid) one. Since when does she tell scary stories? The one about Mrs. Martin really freaked her out.
"Once upon a time, a little boy was digging in the backyard and he found a toe. Anyway, the boy went to bed. As he was curling up under the blankets, he heard this slow, slow breathing noise. 'Where's my t-o-o-o-o-o-oh?' the voice said."
Basically, this goes on for 10 minutes until Fiona grabs Ivy and says, "YOU'VE GOT IT!"
Ivy freaks out. Noyce.
Uh oh. The boys sneak into the girls' cabin. Wth? Where are the counselors? This should so not be happening.
"Hey, Hart. I was so scared. Thank goodness it's just you. *bats eyelashes*"
Yeah, that's hot, Ivy. XP
Madison sucks up to Fiona in order to become friends again.
They hear scratching noises. Madison goes to investigate, which impresses Hart QUITE a bit.
Ivy: YOu don't have to be such a show-off, Maddie. You look really dumb, you know.
Madison: I don't care.
YEAH MADDIE!!!
Madison makes a Bible joke. Lol.
Ewwwww.
Egg: You really think our surprise was fun?
Fiona: You know how I feel, Egg.
Dan: Quit getting all sappy! You guys are so weird!
Fiona offers a LAME, LAME apology, which Madison, of course, accepts.
"Why so glum, chum? Hungry?"
Dan, I love you.
AAAH, AND HE'S SCARED OF THE TOWER, TOO!!!
"HART! Hart, I was looking for you. We saved you a seat over here. Come on. Come on!"
I hate Ivy.
w00t, Obstacle course!
Ivy is such a lying wimp.
"I don't want to hurt myself. And I don't want to break one of my nails. That would be even worse."
God forbid THAT should happen.
Madison climbs THE TOWER...with an orange helmet on. GOOD OMEN.
And Hart is too busy cheering for Ivy. :(
Madison: You can go, Ivy. Go away. I'm the new queen of the wilderness.
Unfortunately, she doesn't actually say that to Ivy's face.
Fiona's back to her flaky, loser self!
"One day she'd admit her feelings to Hart's face. One day."
Madison's scavenger hunt team wins 2nd place. Not bad.
The Dudes win "Most Creative Use of Props".
So Ivy was just a prop?
I guess she is pretty fake.
The BFFs (Madison's Talent Show group) wins 3rd place in the All-Around category. Whatever that is.
ROFL!!
Aimee: Grrrr...it was those minishorts.
Egg wins "Best Leader".
Fiona and Egg win "Best Athlete". It's not like Fiona did anything athletic the whole time they were there.
Madison and Dan win "Best Camp Spirit".
They carve their initials into the wall of their cabin. Yeah, vandalism!
Lindsay is too scared to play MASH. In case, you know, it comes TRUE.
Because, you know, you MIGHT JUST marry Brad Pitt and have 99 kids!
"It's not a big deal in the world or anything, but... I don't know. It is a big deal to me. I won something."
Like Monk!
As soon as she gets home, Madison goes on her laptop. Lol, same here.
Ewwww, Reggie apologize to Bigwheels and they're back together.
Awww, Drew sends Madison a picture of her at the top of THE TOWER. It boosts her self-esteem. How nice.
Madison's Computer Tip:
I realize that being on the computer 24/7 isn't good for anyone.
Thanks, Madison.
Yay, I have Pony Pals!!! A super special, in fact. It's not that great, but it's something. Stay tuned.
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