Happy Fictional Father's Day!!!, or FTFO Madison Finn #18: Give Me a Break

It's Father's Day!! Yay!!! This is the day where I thank God for giving me a father more able than Jeff Finn.
Ironically, Madison Finn #18 involves fathers. Sort of. It's mostly about friendship and superstition, but Jeff takes Madison on a big ski trip, so it's pretty appropriate.
Wth? In the library summary, they make it sound like Madison has to choose between Fiona and Aimee, but Fiona's already going somewhere for the holidays, so picking her isn't even an option.
I highly doubt the person who wrote that read the book.



Plot: Winter Break is here and Madison expects to be bored out of her wits. She is so jealous of her friend, Fiona, who is going to California for the holidays. UNFAIR!!!
Then Jeff Finn has a brilliant idea: why doesn't he take his wife, daughter, and best friend to a 5 star ski resort???? Wouldn't that be fun??
Honestly? Sounds like one of the BSC vacations, where the parents pay for EVERYONE.
Madison is all for it. She grabs Aimee and they head off to Big Mountain (seriously, that's the name.)
Unfortunately, they keep running into bad luck!! On the drive up the mountain, they get TWO flat tires. They also rent a HAUNTED cabin, and get into fights!!
It's just omen after bad omen!!!
Not only that, Aimee is being totally snobby, and Madison blames HER for all the bad luck.
After Madison chooses a cute boy to be her ski partner rather than Aimee, Aimee flies in a jealous rage down the mountain...and sprains her wrist!!
This is either the worst vacation or the best vacation ever.
I'm enjoying it.
Madison is so angry at Aimee. She ruined their vacation!!! Aimee sacrifices TLC and good medical care, however, to let Madison enjoy the slopes for two more days. Wow. She's a good friend...especially since Maddie's such a brat in this one.
Even more bad luck!!! Madison realizes all her superstitions are stupid and breaks down...but Aimee is there to boost her ego and say, "No, all your superstitions aren't dumb! I believe them!"
That way, Amiee has to apologize first and nothing is expected of Madison.
So lame. Anyway, they are friends forever.

More notes:
Fiona wears a lot of purple, specifically the shade "grape".

Egg knocks Devo and Tears for Fears. Jerk.

"The truth was that Aimee, Madison, and Fiona had gone to a few hockey games - and practices, too. Fiona went because her brother was on the team and because she wanted to see Egg in slap-shot action. Madison went to ogle Hart in his ice skates."
Wth? They actually let other students come to practice??? SOOOO prohibited at my school. Lol!! "Oooooh...your ice skates are SOOOOO hot...score another goal..."

Aw, poor Madison and Aimee. Fiona is going to California for winter break!!! Madison and Aimee have to watch hot boys play hockey and work at the Cyber Cafe (for money!!!).

Madison finds a chain letter Aimee receives and FREAKS OUT!! They HAVE to send it to five people or they'll have FIVE YEARS OF BAD LUCK.
Oooo, I'm scared. They send a copy to Poison Ivy.
Why are they so mean to her???

Whaaaat? Maddie might not be into Hart anymore???

LAAAAME. Hart doesn't have the balls to ask her out, and Madison doesn't want to make the first move, either.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought the cute guy next door was named JOSH. Madison seems to think his name is Toby.
Nooooooo. That would be the random high school guy you met in #11 whilst walking your dog.

She reminisces about Mark and how she messed up because she NEVER e-mailed him (but he never exactly e-mailed her, either).

Whoas. How rich is Madison's dad? They're staying in a 5 star resort, and Madison can take her friend AND her dog.

On the last day of school before winter break, all the teachers show movies instead of teaching class.
AS IT SHOULD BE.

Aimee screws up things with Hart. She not only embarasses him, but implies that Maddie should find someone new.
WHY ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH HER, MADDIE?

BIGWHEELS IS SICK AGAIN!!! I bet tomorrow her computer will crash, but as soon as she gets a new one, she'll be grounded, and then when she finally gets to use her e-mail again, she'll be sick.
It's a vicious cycle.

Bigwheels wants to meet Maddie in person.
Aaagh...what if she's really a creepy child molestor!?

Oh no, Madison has no cute ski clothes! She'll be laughed off the slopes!

So far, Madison has a sweatshirt, ski pants, a jacket, and some jeans.
If you never change clothes, that could last you a few days.

"Even though Madison was feeling much more alert, Aimee's high-pitched squeals were still over the top."
I hate morning people.
Agh, my dog woke me up at 6:15 this morning, but when I want to be awake and play with her, she's tired and wants to go to bed.
??? I thought you were a terrier!

They hear the same song on the radio within ten minutes!!
Good omen!!!

Jeff gets lost and refuses to ask for directions.
Here's to Dad's who never ask for directions!! Yaaaay!

Two flat tires!!! And Jeff forgot his AAA card!! They'll never get a tow now!

Stephanie totally chews him out...then pulls out HER AAA card for him to use.
Why didn't you just give it to him in the first place?

Lol. They go to a love calculator website. Those crack me up, but Madison TOTALLY takes them seriously.

Hart and Madison have only a 26% chance of romance!! Say it isn't so!!!

Madison has a better (85%) chance with EGG!!! Ew.

Aimee and Ben have a 74% chance. Ew, I hate them both.

Uh oh. Hart and Ivy have an 81% chance of romance.
Lol. Madison's ideal love connection is Philip Ayres, who sits next to her in math class.
So she types in her and Hart's MIDDLE names and they get an 81% chance, just like Hart and Ivy.
Ew, Hart's middle name is Jefferson???

Oh no, Madison sees a black cat! Bad omen?
Nope. It's just a squirrel.

Aimee makes fun of Hart, because he's a commitmentphobe.
Then again, this is junior high, but getting played kind of sucks.

Lol. The skylights open and it snows in their cabin. Bad omen.
Then again, they now have their own personal ski trail.

NOYCE!!! The resort reimburses them for one night's stay, and pays for their lift tickets AND lunch!!
HOLY CRAP!!
If I'd been there, I would be shoveling snow into my cabin every DAY!!

The manager even sends them APOLOGY BREAKFAST!!! Pastries and yogurt!!! sWeEt!!!

AAargh. Madison spills the salt, screams, and tosses it over her shoulder...which blinds Phinnie for life.

Wth???
"Aimee unzipped her suitcase and took out a perfectly matched outfit - a pair of purple ski pants and an orange fleece pullover. Underneath, she would wear a little shirt with flowers embroidered across the neckline."
Purple and ORANGE??? What about that is MATCHING???? Madison's jealous that Aimee is so "fashionable". I think the appropriate word is "color-blind".

Red pants, a black T-shirt, and a pink hat doesn't work that well, either, but I guess the point is to stay warm.

Oooh, an exotic Spanish ski instructor.
Aimee is in lust.

Aimee: We're here for lessons.
Ski instructor: Are you? Well, I'm the instructor.
Madison: Can we sign up for you?
Aimee: She means, can we register for you and your lessons?
Ski instructor: Certainly. I'm Carlos. Let me get Jennifer. She will help you get signed up.
Mmmmm, Carlos, I want to learn how to ski. Lol.

Aimee totally throws herself at Carlos, but when Madison spazzes out about a piece of strawberry stuck in her teeth, Aimee is all, "He's only the ski instructor, Maddie."
*cough* HYPOCRITE *cough*

Whoas. Stephanie and Dad buy Madison sunglasses, gloves, a ski suit, and a headband.
It would suck to be Aimee in that situation.

Ooh, the ski pants have a bib. Yay, ski overalls!

Oooh, Madison runs into a cute boy named Hugh Jackson.
H...J. Hey, he has the same initials as Hart Jones!

Foster Lane, Aimee's favorite movie star, is at the resort!!!
That would suck if there was a celebrity at your resort...but it was someone you despised, like Tori Spelling.

"When Aimee set her mind to something, she was often successful. Maybe it was a combination of always speaking her mind and batting her eyelashes."

Hugh: freckles, green eyes, blond hair.
In other words, Zac Efron!!!

Jeff gives Madison and Aimee necklaces with a bunny charm. Oh, I get it! Snow bunnies!!! -_-

Ugh, of course, Madison has to go overboard and convince herself that the snow bunny necklace is good luck.

Lol. Aimee takes off the necklace because it doesn't match her outfit. Madison's like, "NOOOO, BAD LUCK, BAD LUCK!"

Stephanie believes in a superstition about sneezing.
One for sorrow, two for joy, three for a letter, four for a boy, five for silver, six for gold, seven for a secret never to be told.
What is that supposed to mean?? And I thought it was seven for DEATH.
Because we were talking about that in math, and then Sam sneezed four times in a row, so Mr. Kovacs was all, "4 sneezes closer to DEATH!" It was pretty hilarious.

LAAAAAME. The waiter tells them a story about Mr. White, who supposedly froze to death outside his cabin. Wait. MADISON'S cabin was once his cabin!!
How is she believing this??? HE'S A WAITER!!!

Stephanie leaves to go to the bathroom when Madison and Aimee start talking about old memories when Maddie's parents were still together, and Madison flips out at Aimee. "Why did you start talking about my mom!!1?? It made Stephanie cry!!"

Aagh. Aimee blows up at Madison, and understandably so.
Owl: Hoooo hoooo hoooo.
Madison: Oh no! THree times! Bad luck!
Aimee: Huh? Three what? Maddie, stop obsessing about your stupid superstitions!
Madison: What do you mean, stupid?
Aimee: I mean, can you please stop being so neurotic for five minutes and just go back to sleep?
Madison: Neurotic? Quit acting like you know everything.
Aimee: What do you mean by that? I don't know everything. Who said I knew everything?
Madison says some nasty stuff about Aimee's ballet ability, and Aimee snaps back.
Girls....

Aimee and Stephanie have a special bonding time.
I would be soooo jealous.

Lol. Madison fell asleep on her bunny charm and it made a HUGE indent in her face.

Madison writes Bigwheels and complains about how slutty Aimee is and how much she's CHANGED.
Um, isn't Aimee flirty ALL THE TIME?? And you go for older guys, too, Madison, so don't be mean to your best friend.

Hmm, Hugh lives in Reston, which is close to Far Hills. Love Connection!
Isn't Reston that town where the Sandy girl in Pony Pals #19 was moving??
Sorry.

Madison tells Aimee she's acting like Poison Ivy.
I think spending time with Poison Ivy would be preferable to listening to Madison moan.

Lol. Aimee has to be partners with some girl...but Madison is partners with Hugh.

Then Aimee gets mad when Madison won't switch partners. Hello, hot guy, more important than friendship, obviously.

Hugh: Your friend looks bummed. You should ski with her.
Madison: I do everything with her. I would rather ski with you.
Whoa, Maddie. How positively bold of you.

Aimee falls down the mountain!!!!! No lie!!!

How would a broken wrist prevent you from dancing in a ballet recital?? I want to know.

At least it's only a sprain...but it will be in a cast for 4 weeks. Ouch.

Madison is so selfish. Her best friend just hurt her wrist and needs to go home, and the only thing Madison cares about is her vacation.

Argh. Madison is convinced the accident happened because neither girl wore their ski bunny charm.

Bad timing. Gramma Helen, not knowing about Aimee's accident, sends Madison an e-mail that says, "Don't fall of the mountain!"

Fiona e-mails about her brother Chet's sprained foot and complains about how she can't do ANYTHING now. Hello, your BROTHER sprained his foot, not you. Just ditch him and go have fun. You're in CALIFORNIA!

Heeeeey...Drew's gf's name is ELAINE, not Emily. Unless he broke up with Elaine and started going out with a new girl...whose name ALSO happens to begin with E.

Aw. Aimee decides to stay so Madison can enjoy her vacation.
Madison totally does NOT thank her best friend.

Ooh, Madison puts on MAKEUP to impress Hugh. Lol. If only she knew what was coming.

They practice on a slope called Four-Leaf Clover.
Good omen!

Ewwww, root beer.

They ask if CARLOS, the 25-year-old Spanish ski instructor, will be Aimee's true love. Yeah, I see that happening.

Yay, the chain letter worked!! Ivy got gum in her hair!! So mean.

I hate people that only apologize when the other person did. Aimee says she believes in superstitions and that she's sorry for almost ruining the vacation because she was dumb (the accident was NO accident; she was just showing off). Madison apologizes, but doesn't specify what she's sorry about. Meaning she's not really sorry. -_-

OH NO! Hugh can't ski with Madison anymore! He'd rather go skiing with his friends and parents, and ski demos are lame anyway.

Madison freaks out!! She acts like they were dating or something, when, in actuality, they've known each other 2 days. Totally overreacting.

AND overdramatic. "I'm...all...alone!!! *sob*"

To show Madison she is a good friend, Aimee wears her snow bunny necklace, which restores Madison's faith in good and bad luck and omens and so forth.

They met Foster Lane, but Madison doesn't think he is cute because he has acne.
It's not like people CHOOSE to have acne. My brother has it, and my friends are always asking all slyly, "Mmmm, who's he??" It's creepy. And weird.

"Maybe everything happened so we could see that the best lucky charm was with us all along--each other."
GAG! This isn't "Sesame Street".

Lol. Madison and Aimee play that apple game where you twist off the stem and poke through the skin. Aimee gets WD, for Walter Diaz!!! But he's supposed to be Madison's "true love"? Oh well.
Madison gets HJ, and is like, "Oh no, not Hugh!" Um, duh. Hart Jones.

WHOA. As soon as Madison gets home, Hart IMs her and asks if she would like to go skating with him. Well, him, and all their friends, but still.
Okay, and it WAS on IM, but it's a start.

Madison's Computer Tip:
The Internet is a great place to search for trends, fashion tips, and other ideas about what's hot - and in my case, what's not.

Fun, fun, fun. The next book is more serious, and a little lamer, as Madison takes out her frustrations on Poison Ivy. It's like permanent PMS or something. Hopefully she'll be better by #20.

Love means never having to say you're sorry, or FTFO Madison Finn #11: Heart to Heart

AAAAAAAAGH! This one is SOOO SAD. It's mostly about 7th grade relationships and unrequited love. Seriously, it's the saddest thing in the world. I started crying in some spots, it's really sad.



Plot: Valentine's Day is coming up, and Far Hills Junior High is holding Valentine-themed dance! All the girls are freaking out.
Madison is excited, too, but feels left out. Her keypal Bigwheels just got a new boyfriend. Phin is in love with a golden retriever who just moved in down the street. Fiona and Egg are going out now, and there's a rumor that Hart and Ivy are more than "just good friends".
One day, Madison gets an e-mail from someone called Orange Crush...who appears to have a crush on her.
NO WAY!!!
Orange Crush starts stuffing love notes in her locker and sending her chocolate roses through the mail. He even writes her a poem - it's pretty cute.
Madison makes a list of all the boys she knows and, using her mad detective skills, decides it's Hart Jones, her one true love! It just HAS to be.
It's the night of the dance. Madison has a dress, a tiara, and new shoes. Orange Crush sends her 15 carnations and promises all will be revealed at the dance. She asks Drew if he happened to be her "one true love", but he admits that although he likes her (DUH), he wasn't her secret admirer. Things are way awkward for a little while, but Drew and Madison remain friends.
Finally, Dan comes over and makes some pretty obvious hints about his secret life as Orange Crush.
Madison, shocked and disappointed, runs out of the room.
Crying.
Her mom comes outside, where it happens to be SNOWING (aah, so cold!), and comforts Madison. Madison admits she was shocked about Dan being her secret admirer, but doesn't want to face him again because he must surely hate her now.
Well, yeah, Maddie, you sort of ran away crying when he told you he loved you.
But Frannie Finn, in a rare moment of good parenting and smart advice, tells her to go apologize.
Madison runs back into the building and asks Dan to forgive her. He does so, willingly, and the two agree to be friends. Then, because she sort of ruined the dance for him, Madison asks Dan to dance.
It makes Dan happy...
...and Hart jealous.
Awwwwwww....

More notes:
I think this is my favorite book so far.

Madison meets a cute new neighbor named Toby. Oooh.
Toby: Do you go to Far Hills High? I start there tomorrow, and I don't know anyone.
Madison: High school? Uh, no...No. I'm in middle school. Seventh grade, actually.
Toby: Oh, wow.
Yeah. Wow. Lol.

That sort of killed the mood.

Gasp! Phin just cheated on Blossom, Aimee's dog!

Huh, Madison's star sign is Pisces. I wonder when her birthday is. I can't remember her ever having an actual birthday in the series.

Somewhere between March 15 and April 14. Hey, her birthday might be this month!

Her horoscope reads:
Love is in the air! But winds that blow in your direction are not from familiar corners. Keep your eyes wide open. Romance will sneak up on you when you least expect it.
Heh. Mine told me to mosey on home yesterday. Which is where I've been for the past week. So I sort of think the whole astrology thing is a bunch of crap.

Oh no, Bigwheels is in love with a boy named Reggie. He has black hair and hazel eyes. Sounds...Mediterranean.

He just randomly asked her to the Valentine's dance.

Bigwheels wonders if she should play it cool. DO NOT PLAY HARD TO GET!!! Worst idea in the world. Just saying.

From: Orange Crush
To: MadFinn
Subject:
Date: Sun 2 Feb 5:13 PM

I've got a crush on u.

Your Secret Admirer.

Okay, I'm sort of creeped out now, what about you guys?

Aimee thinks it might be Egg, and Fiona FLIPS OUT.
"Aimee, you don't really think the secret e-mail is from Walter, do you? I mean - Walter doesn't like Madison, right? That was just a joke. You're joking, right?"
Dang.

I'm surprised Aimee and Fiona don't know about Madison's crush on Hart by now.
Aimee: Who are the prime suspects? Hart Jones?
Madison: H-H-Hart?

Heh. Ivy tries to act flirty.
"Ta-ta! I hope I'll see you there!"
Ta-ta? Ta-ta??? Jolly good, my dear, that does sound positively brilliant! Superb! Capital idea!

Hart: Well, I already know who I want to go with.
Madison: *Could he mean me?*
Hart: I WANNA GO WITH EGG!
Ugh, 7th grade boy humor.

Dad takes Madison and Stephanie to dinner. He's about to have a mariachi band serenade them all, so Madison PRETENDS TO BE SICK! Wth, what's wrong with you, Madison? It's just a mariachi band!

Aimee, Fiona, and Ivy claim to have been in love by now. Riiiiiiiiiiight.

Ooh, Reggie sounds like a dream date! He's cute, funny, and smart, and he makes Bigwheels laff like a lolcat!
Did I tell you she met him at math club? I bet he tucks his shirt into his pants.

"She hurried to her dresser and pulled out a pair of heavy black leggings and soft red sweater."
Sounds very Babysitters club.

Ivy's insults still suck.
Madison: *misses a shot into the garbage can*
Ivy: Nice shot, Maddie! You should go out for baskteball.
Ooh, burn.

Agh, another creepy card!
U have a good heart.
Signed, Your Secret Admirer

Code for, "You have nice boobs?"

They make a big deal about a "special" English project on the back of the book, but all they have to do is write about someone from the American Revolution.

So Dan's trying to tell Madison about a llama named Gertrude, and she's busy checking out Hart.
Hahaha, sooooo guilty of this myself.

"Who can think about homework when there's a school dance coming up?"
Some of us manage to do it, Aimee. You're obviously not in honors English.

Ugh, lame. Egg and Fiona reveal their true feelings to each other...ON INSTA-MESSAGE. That is so lame.
: I love you.
: Me 2.
: Sooo
: Sooo
: C u Monday!
: ok c u l8r g8r
That wasn't in the book, but I'm guessing that's what happened.

They decide to prank call boys and giggle. Sounds...fun.

"Take a look at suspects. Who would have access to red construction paper?"
Yeah, THAT narrows it down.

"It seems like anytime I like a boy, he likes someone else. Or else he ignores me. The 'good' thing always seems to happen for girls like Ivy."
Awww, amen to that.

: Hi. I see U R online.
: WHO R U???
: Someone who likes U. :>)
: Is this a joke?
: No.
: Then tell me who U R!!
: MWBRL. Got 2 go.
MWBRL = more will be revealed later.
Aaagh, I'm imagining Anthony Hopkins from "Silence of the Lambs".

Madison makes a list of things she needs to buy before the dance. Crap, I forgot about choosing a hairstyle...and learning how to dance, lol.

Fiona and Egg go on a date...and invite all their friends along. Fun?

Madison ends up buying a sea-blue dress with black trim, long bell sleeves, and a scoop neck. I'm having a really hard time picturing sleeves that are both long and bell-like.

IT WAS ONLY $52.50!!

Lame. Hart ditches them to go sit with Ivy.

Ugh, they make a big deal about Dan being fat in this one.
"He'd loaded up his tray with two hamburgers, a super-size container of fries, and a large drink."
That's not actually not that much. My older brother eats that much. I eat that much.

There's this whole thing about Dan standing up for his musical beliefs. So random.

Another book where Aimee forgets she has FOUR brothers, not THREE.

Ew, Fiona and Egg are all weird and couply, sharing ice cream cones and whatnot.

Oh no, Madison's dad was in a jewelry store! HE MUST BE PROPOSING TO STEPHANIE!
Or maybe he's buying her one of those Kay heart pendants.

REGGIE BOUGHT BIGWHEELS ONE OF THOSE HEART PENDANTS!!!

While talking to Chet, Madison insults Hart, not realizing he's on the other line. Nice.

Aw, Orange Crush sends her a chocolate rose. Anybody who sends you chocolate is a nice person.

OH NO! Madison thinks she knows FOR SURE that her secret admirer is Hart...AND SHE PLANS TO TELL HIM HOW SHE REALLY FEELS! DON'T DO IT, MADDIE! DANGER AHEAD!

Aimee: There's a 20% chance Drew is your crusher.
Madison: Twenty percent? What makes you say that?
Aimee: I think it's possible that he's the one, but here are some complications. I mean, he's too obvious. Everyone knows he likes you...
Madison: What do you mean, 'everyone knows'?
Um, he sort of stalks you and asks you to go to Switzerland and stuff. Pretty dang obvious.

SO MEAN!
Aimee: Dan is a nice guy and all that, but I don't think it's him. I mean, he cares way more about french fries and chocolate-chip cookies than girls, right?
Holy crap, WHO SAYS THINGS LIKE THAT?

Phin hurts his paw, and Madison freaks out. "EMERGENCY!!!"

Awkward dialogue that sort of made me cry:
Madison: I wanted to know if you are going to the Heart to Heart dance. Are you?
Dan: Yeah, I think I'm giong. Why...are you asking me or something?
Madison: Um...not exactly.
Dan: Um...I was just kidding.
Madison: But I am going to the dance. Even with no date. Do you know anyone else who's going? Or someone who wants to go with someone, but is maybe too shy or... I shouldn't be asking you this. Sorry.
Dan: I haven't really asked around. I can, if you want.
Madison: No, that's okay. I didn't mean to say all that. I feel pretty stupid.

Agh, she has NO IDEA!!!

Aw, Orange Crush writes her an adorable poem.
I am not a poet
And I truly know it
But I think you're really cool
So I thought I'd show it
(I hope this goofy rhyme of mine
Doesn't totally blow it!)

signed, Your Secret Admirer

Hart says hi...and Madison runs away. Maybe that's the reason he likes Ivy so much, Maddie.

Oh no. Oooooh no. Drew has just offered to walk her to class.
Y'all remember Drew, right? Rich, Hart's second cousin, totally stalker-y?

OH NO, HE ASKS HER TO THE DANCE!!!!
Madison: I don't think I can go. No, I definitely can't.
Drew: No? So. You're not going to the dance?
Madison: Not exactly.
Drew: Oh, I get it. You're just not going with me.
Madison: I'm sorry. It's just that I already promised someone else- I'm really, really, REALLY sorry.
Drew: I understand.
Omg, this is one of the parts where I started crying. Not only does she say no, but she LIES about why she can't go. Drew practically started crying, too.

Egg sends her an angry e-mail. She so deserved it.

From: Eggaway
To: MadFinn
Subject: no subject
Date: Tues 11 Feb 3:29 PM
I can't blieve you totally hurt Drew's feeling's like that. dont you know how hard it was for him to ask you to the dance? dont you get it? Drew is a relly good guy, Maddie. I don't know what your problem is. You can't just do that to people.

Egg

PS: So ur going to the dance with someone else? IYD. I don't believe it. And Drew doesnt, either.

Frannie thinks Drew will ask Madison out again.
Psh, not after she ripped his heart out like she did. I think Drew will never love again.

Even anorexia-loving Aimee has a date! True, it's Ben Buckley, but still, a guy asked her.
Maddie has no one.
She could have had stalker-Drew....

Rules for the Heart to Heart Dance:
1. Dance open only to Far Hills Junior High students.
[Heh. My school totally doesn't follow that rule. You can't exactly crash it, but if you have a ticket and a date who's a ninth grader, you're in.]

2. To attend dance, students must have a school dance ticket listing phone number where parents can be reached.
[In case someone dies in a horrible punch spiking accident.]

3. Students may not leave the dance area to go elsewhere, including school classrooms.
[Madison wonders why anyone would want to go to an empty classroom. Aimee says it for her: "No - to go make out!" Or to make a science experiment...without the Bunsen burner. ^_^]

There are a billion more rules, but none of them are quite as entertaining.

Okay, I was wrong.
8. Students are expected to keep the hallways and dance areas free and clear of all wrappers and cups. Keep snacks in the snack zone.
Madison: The snack zone? What's that?
Aimee: It sounds like a made-for-TV movie.
Fiona: When good snacks go bad.

Also, students aren't allowed to wear halter tops to the dance! Since when is there a dress code? And if that's the case, I wouldn't be able to go!!

Fiona: The DJ at my old school was always so lame. Half of the songs he played were country and western.
Aimee: That definitely won't be happening this time. The DJ they hired plays mostly hip-hop and pop, with a little rock thrown in.
:P The DJ at my school always plays hip-hop and NOTHING ELSE. Gets sort of old after a while.

Aw, Fiona and Aimee decide to meet their dates at the dance so they can go with Maddie. That's really nice.

Madison buys a tiara to go with her dress. Jealous.

When Madison saw her dad at the jewelry store, he was getting cuff links engraved for one of his favorite MALE clients. Sooooo what...Jeffery Finn is gay?

Heh, he buys Madison a stuffed pug that says, "I woof u."

Bigwheels is really obsessed with Reggie. Ugh, is everybody wearing a red velvet dress to their Valentine's Day dance? So much for variety.

Agh, Madison freaks out at Bigwheels when she mentions Reggie in an online chat. PMS much? Although, Bigwheels was being pretty annoying. "Omg, I have the funniest story-" "Is it about Reggie?" "Yeah, how'd you know?"

Ew, sappy John Keats poetry. "I cannot exist without you. I am forgetful of every thing but seeing you again. My life seems to stop there. I see no further."
Stalker.

Dan: Hey, look, it's Aimee - and an orange camel!
I think that was a reference to Madison's overstuffed backpack. Lame joke, Dan.

This outfit sounds cute until we get to the red heart pin:
"Madison had on her favorite jeans and a black turtleneck sweater. Mom loaned her a big, red heart pin, which she had attached to the sweater."
Sounds 80's.

Drew buys everyone's tickets, because it was cheaper for 4 sets of two! He even buys Madison's ticket!! That's so nice!

HART IS GOING WITH IVY!!! Maybe you shouldn't have run away from him, Maddie.

Madison gets a balloon from her secret admirer:
You've got my heart on a string.
Tonight all will be revealed.
signed, Your Secret Admirer.

Hart delivered the balloon to her, so she thinks he's the SA, he's just not owning up to it.

Even Lindsay Frost is wearing a red velvet dress. Wth, the book says she has blonde hair? Have you seen the cover of "All That Glitters"? Her hair is definitely brown.

"Fiona looked great in a hot-pink tank paired with a bright orange skirt. Both were made of raw silk, and shimmered slightly under the lights."
Sounds cute. I saw a dress like that at the mall.

Aw, Orange Crush gives her 15 carnations.

"'I think I want to get some punch. Want some, Aimee?'
'Sure thing,' Aimee said, beaming. She'd worn her favorite pink slip dress and shimmery stockings. Her hair was braided and piled on top of her head."
Sounds kind of cute. Really ballerina-y, but cute.

Lindsay is in love with Dan. Wth? Didn't that Suresh guy ask her out? Why isn't she dancing with him?

Heh, Fiona is taller than Egg.

Hart is just about to ask Madison to dance...when Drew and Chet run over with gossip that a 7th grader and a 9th grader have been found making out IN THE SCIENCE LAB! THEY WERE TOTALLY MAKING AN EXPERIMENT W/0 THE BUNSEN BURNER!!!

Aaagh, Joan Kenyon's mom catches them. Aaaaawkwaaaard.

Aimee: What's this about a seventh grader getting caught with a ninth grader?
Madison: You know as much as we do.
Ben: I heard that the guy had his shirt off.
Madison: Okay, you know more than we do. What were they doing? [What do you think?]
Ben: Kissing. I heard that the girl's hair was all messed up.
Hart: That doesn't sound like such a big deal.
Really, Hart? Sounds like you've done it before.

Oh no, Madison's about to confront Drew!!! She thinks he's Orange Crush!!

Madison: Hey, having fun?
Drew: Yeah. That's a nice dress you have on.
Madison: Thanks. I liked your flowers, too.
Drew: Flowers? Oh - you mean these? *holds out tie, which is covered in bright splotches of color* I think they're just blobs, actually.
Madison: Oh. Well, not exactly. Look, Drew, there's something I've been wanting to say to you.
Drew: Yeah?
Madison: I'm really sorry about the way I acted - when you asked me to the dance.
Drew: Oh, that. No biggie. I'm over it. We're friends again. That's cool.
I like how he totally forgave her. Sort of. Things are still pretty awkward.

Orange Crush is Dan!!!

And Madison runs out of the room crying.

Her mom comes out to comfort her and tells her that Dan is still her friend and that Madison should apologize so that they can continue being friends.
Huh. Thanks Fran. That's actually some good advice...for once.

Here we go. The big scene:
Madison: Dan. Wait. Dan, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to flip out. It's just that - you caught me by surprise. I mean, looking back on it, I guess I should have known that Orange Crush was you, but I didn't, and then when you said that it was you, I was just like, "Wow, I had no clue," and...and...and this is the part where you stop me from babbling. Please. Say something. Say anything.
Drew: I didn't mean to get you angry or sad. I'm really sorry if I embarassed you.
Madison: No, no. I'm sorry. It's not you. It's just that - I can't deal with this whole boyfriend thing right now.
[And also, you don't actually have any feelings for Dan, because you like Hart, but hey.]
Madison: I really like you, Dan.
Dan: But as a friend. Right?
Madison: Yeah. A good friend.
Dan: As a friend. Well, that's cool.
Madison: Cool?
Dan: It's cooler than cool. We have a lot in common, you know?
Madison: Like the animal shelter?
Dan: And - you know - we both like peanut butter.
Madison: And pizza.
Dan: Yeah. Tons of stuff in common. I just wanted to do something nice for you. You deserve it.
Madison: You're the best.
AWWWWWWWWW. This seriously made me cry!!! Dan is so nice about her ripping his heart out and tossing it across the floor. And they're still friends!!! What a concept!!!

So Madison asks him to dance with her, and he accepts.

"I want the chocolate rose back." "Oh no, I already ate it!"

Hart kept staring jealously over at Madison while they danced. Okay, I personally think she should've gone out with Dan. Hart is a major loser.

The moral is: Romance is nice, but friendship is more important.

The moral also is: Madison's Computer Tip: If you are getting e-mails from strangers, you should hit DELETE and tell your parents.

Ah yes, good morals.
So there will be Avalons and Madison Finns galore. Hopefully #12 is coming soon, too. *sniff* That was a good one.

Fairies are just beautiful hippies, or Avalon: Quest for Magic #2: All's Fairy in Love & War

I love how I have no time to post now. I get home after basketball and don't really care about going on the computer as much as I do finishing my homework and watching "American Idol".



Plot:
Kara, who won't settle for being ordinary, has scored the lead in the school play, "A Midsummer Night's Dream". (Lead being Queen Tatiana) However, she is just semi-stressed out, as her fellow mages are depending on her, there are rehearsals every day, and for some reason, she can't get her jewel to work!
Then, one particularly harrowing day, a bunch of fairies pop up in Kara's closet and send her and Lyra to the Fairy Realms!!
Once there, Kara meets the Forest Prince, a Zorro-wannabe. He tells her that the Five Kingdoms are about to meet and need her help.
She goes to the Fairy Ring where the leaders of the Five Kingdoms are. They ask for proof that she is a mage...but Kara loses control of her magic and turns Lyra into quicksilver! The cat beings to melt and if they can't turn her back into a real cat soon, she'll be gone FOREVER.
Sounds ominous.
Kara seeks the help of Tangoo, the Goblin Sorceror, who is so obviously evil, but no one seems to notice.
Back in the real world, a series of "hilarious" situations of mistaken identity and the like take place as Emily and Adriane try to make everything seem normal. Ha. Ha. Ha.
How can Kara help the Kingdoms? First, she has to bond with an Elemental Stallion made of PURE FIRE.
She fails, of course.
Next, she attends a fairy masquerade ball. With the help of some magical talking accessories (pleeease don't inquire further), Kara becomes the belle of the ball! She also meets up with the Forest Prince again and finds out...
HE'S REALLY THE GOBLIN PRINCE LORREN!!!
He's a nice guy, though, who just cares about the environment. Also, Kara finds him rather attractive.
Oh, ha ha ha, those silly mages are ruining the play! I cannot breathe for laughing.
Kara attempts to bond with the Firemental horse again, for her is detrimental to her "quest", but no dice.
She learns from Tangoo that the Firemental will dissolve back into the air if she doesn't find the Blue Rose and give it to him, supplying him with enough magic to complete their quest.
She hasn't even bonded with him yet, but whatever.
She and Lorren go to the Spider Witch's old lair and have to choose between two roses: one is the real thing, the other is an imposter. One smells horrible, like sulfur, and the other all beautiful and lilac-y. How Indiana Jones.
They, unlike the rare art collector in "The Last Crusade" choose the right one (the stinky one)...and are attacked by a horde of spiders!!! Kara ditches Lorren, as she suspects he wants the rose for himself! How selfish!
She gives the rose to the Firemental horse, dubs him Starfire, and creates an unbreakable bond between the two of them.
They go on their quest: find four magical talismans, one for each element, and bring them back to summon the power crystal, which contains Avalon's magic and will save the Fairy Realms.
Wow. Good luck.
She finds the talismans and brings them back. But Tangoo destroys Starfire and attempts to capture the crystal! To get rid of Kara, he sends her back to school to finish up the school play.
Hahahaha. Calamity. Chaos. Love spells!! Tears of mirth fill my eyes. -_-
Starfire comes back!!! w00t! Because he obtained ANOTHER crystal, which is just as good as the Blue Rose, apparently.
Long story short: they go back. Defeat Tangoo. Starfire is gone, but he will always be with Kara. The play was a success. The five kingdoms are united. Lyra is saved. Lorren and Kara are going steady.
How I miss the uncomplicated Pony Pals and their short, mundane plots.

More notes:
How typical. Kara lands the lead in the school play AND gets a cool, pink costume?

Heh. The other fairies in the play are green, but not Tatiana.

Ah, I'd be frustrated, too.
Emily and Adriane: Aaargh, Karaaaaa, I know you're busy and you have a life, but we're lazy and don't want to do anything without yooooooo.

Kara can't control her magic and is pretty dang depressed. Poor Kara.

And then two magic trackers pop up in her closet. Oookay.

And the porta-portal sucks Kara and Lyra into it.

Aaargh, and they land in a forest where they're attacked by magic trees! What is this, "The Wizard of Oz"?

The Forest Prince rescues them, yelling, "AieOOO!" How intimidating?

LOL, he sounds like Carter dressed as Zorro from "A Cinderella Story".

But if it wasn't a portal that brought Kara here, what was it? Oh, a mirror. OF COURSE.

HAHAHA, Kara calls him Forest Gump. Sorry, it's early in the morning.

Aargh. She tells him to call her Snow White and he takes her seriously. :P

Whoa, random. The d-flies are all, "Back off, bub!" This is the first time they've said anything that actually makes sense.

Whoa, Goblins and Trolls are included in the five kingdoms? I don't care if it's racist, they shouldn't count.

Hm, is this guy evil or what: long green hair tied back, gaunt face, goatee, a hawkish nose, deep black eyes.
Sounds like a goblin-version of Snape.

Of course the Fairy Queen looks like Madonna, but the Troll King is hideous.

Tangoo? What kind of name is that?

Selinda is sexy name; therefore, a sexy queen.

But the Goblin Queen is ugly, therefore her name is Raelda. Not biased.

Apparently the Forest Prince is a bad boy and Kara should not concern herself with him.

Uh oh, they want Kara to show them some magic to prove she's the blazing star. Everybody duck!

She loses control and turns Lyra into a statue!

Oh dear, the only way to cure Lyra is to find the power crystal. Which is what the Five Kingdoms wanted in the first place.

Kara rode a unicorn, so of course she can ride a cute fairy pony!

Did I mention that pony is made out of fire?

DREAMER STARTS SPEAKING IN COMPLETE SENTENCES!!!

ROFL!
Adriane: Joey? I just left him backstage.
Emily: Oh, so that's why you were hanging out in the auditorium.
Adriane: Not! Joey asked me to help him, that's all.
Way to cheat on Zack, Adriane.

Kyle, Kara's brother, is a moron. They talk about magic in front of him and he thinks they're discussing Shakespeare.

And his Shakespearean insults suck. "Hark, what reeky, clay-brained, dewberry arrives?"

Nice cover.
Emily: Kara's sick. You REALLY don't want to go up there.
Heather: She is?
Adriane: She is? Oh, totally.
Emily: She's got a stomach ache.
Adriane: Really bad pimple. On her stomach.

Ha.
Heather: Geez, you guys are weirder than normal.

OMG, they hide a mookrat in Kara's bed and her friends ACTUALLY believe it's her. Wow.

Kyle decides to take the hobgoblin to school...because he thinks it's Joey. How stupid can you get?

No pretty Earth or Water Elemental horses for YOU, Kara. You get a feisty fire stallion.

Veiled sexual imagery?
Joey: Whatsup? Good call on the bulbs - the ones I was using were way too low wattage.
Adriane: Cool.

Why would you publish this book? I'd be too ashamed.
Kyle: Shall I compare thee to a brick outhouse?
Rae: That is so not hilarious.

AAAGH. Musso the hobgoblin is asked to step in for Kara and freaks out, putting a spell on Marcus to make him a REAL donkey.

"Excellent! Best interpretation of a jackass I've seen since Kyle Davies." So true.

Selinda: Don't worry, Princess. The stallion cannot get out.
Kara: Neither can I.
Lol.

What's with the Emily pep talks in every book? They're never any good.

Daaaaang. This boy's about twenty hands high. That's more than 6.5 feet at the shoulder!

Argh, this horse is annoying.
"I AM FIRE! I RUN ALONE!"
Possibly a relative of Sunchaser?

So Kara accidentally hits him with magic. Ouch.

Oh dear. She's stuck in a room...WITH TALKING ACCESSORIES!

Oh my goodness. Oooooh my gosh.
"Stop squirting me, Whiffle!"
"Oh, I can't stand it! I'm delirious with excitement."
EW!!!

Ha ha. A thousand apologies. Like Demon Hunter.

There's a perfume spray bottle SHAPED LIKE A SKUNK. That is sooooo nasty.

There happens to be a Midnight Masquerade Rave! Because a Kara book wouldn't be complete without a party.

Ooh, it's from the Forest Prince.

Kara doesn't have anything to wear! Good thing there's a magic closet!

"I need a ballgown in violet silk, with an embroidered bodice, long sleeves, and a dropped A-line skirt."
Wow. At least she knows what she wants.

Ew, the skunk squirts her with "Morning Pew" perfume.

HA. Goldie the d-fly gets to wear a silver and gold tuxedo.

I think the Forest Prince is a mob boss. How else would he have so much power over the bad fairies?

"Goldie was frolicking in milky moonbeams, sommersaulting with a small flying bear-like creature wearing a tutu and a pirate hat."
Awwwww....

Lol. The Forest Prince is head of a band of rebels. Like Robin Hood!

They're supposed to take off their masks, so Forest Prince does...and there's another mask underneath. Nice.

IT'S THE GOBLIN PRINCE, LORREN!

I guess being Forest Prince gives you more power than being the real prince, because these fairies show NO respect.

Emily opens a portal and tries to get Kara to come home, but ends up with a bunch of dwarves instead.

Oh, and a bulwoggle.

Agh, what's with the bad parenting? They're fighting a dangerous magical animal and Kara's parents aren't the LEAST bit suspicious. And they accept Emily's, "Just helping Kara rehearse!" story.

There's a fox named Cotax. Heh.

It's all good. The next portal will open in 3 years.

Lorren's parents just wouldn't understand the Forest Prince. Emo.

Ugh, hate Emily. And her pep talks.

Adriane makes fun of Lorren. Just because your boyfriend is a freak who lives with mistwolves....

Whoa. Kara and Goldie are bonded? But so are Kara and Lyra?

Fairy blood skips generations, so that explains why Kara is part fairy, but her mom isn't. That is so stupid. Someone obviously never took life science.

Ew. Nice clothes, Lorren.

:O
Tangoo: Well, my obstinate yet positive young prince, if the princess were a magic master, that might be possible, otherwise...good-bye kitty.

"The roses are blue, but only one can be true. The flower with the power is the bloom with the fume. The bud that's a dud seems a rose to the nose."
Duh. The one that doesn't SMELL like a rose is the real one.

What the heck? Tangoo shoots a love spell at Lorren right before he sends them to the Spider Witch's lair...and it hits Goldie!

Right. Adriane's going to play the part of Kara. Complete with pink dress and a blonde wig.

Hahahaha. Ozzie keeps messing up magic!! Silly Ozzie! I freaking hate that ferret.

Wth?? Are her friends really that stupid? How would they mistake dark-eyed, combat-booted Adriane for Kara?

Oh no, the d-flies puke love spells all over Adriane and she falls in love with Marcus. HAHAHAHA. -_-

Now Rae's in love with Kyle!

Oh, and to top it all off, Kara's 3 amigos think Musso is sexy.

This. Is. So. Retarded.

Kara manages to pick the right rose...but is attacked by spiders. Spiders...WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE SPIDERS?

No, Kara, trust Lorren!

She leaves him with the spiders and jumps into the wrong mirror.

Where she meets up with her fairy grandmother, Lucinda!!

They talk about the unicorn jewel.

Aw, Kara remembers how she used to be AND ADMITS SHE WAS A SELFISH LOSER!!

NOOO, the magic is not for Kara!
Oh, because the gift of a blazing star is to make OTHERS shine more brightly, not herself. That's why the magic won't work!

Ha. Kara has a vision of herself at seventeen, working for the Dark Sorceress, and she kills Emily and Adriane and takes their jewels. Lol.

Starfire is a lame name for a horse, but whatever.

Aw, Kara lets Starfire share her past. Now they're bonded fo life!

Their first talisman, made of Water magic, is purple bunny slippers.

Hahaha. She has to make a song on the magical clouds to get the next talisman and sings that "Supernatural High" song. But the next one's a harp? Lame. I like bunnies better.

Next stop, the Mines of Moria.

Oh no, Starfire is losing magic!!!

Wow. They're lost in a maze and use the harp to find which way to go. Smart. That's what Harry should've done in "Goblet of Fire".

Argh. The next talisman is a giant silver heart. Laaame.

The very last one is a sunstone.

Stafire is so screwed.

And there are two Forest Princes, trying to convince Kara to give them the power crystal!

One of them is real. The other is...TANGOO. Told you he was evil.

And it turns out HE turned Lyra into quicksilver.

Aw, he kills Starfire with the other blue rose.

She jumps into the last mirror...and finds herself on stage in the middle of the school play.

Ew. "Come hither, thou cutiest patootiest!'
I would rather kill myself than publish this crap.

Uh oh. Kara tries to say her lines (it's her part, after all), and Adriane attacks her!! "Nobody sweet-talks my jackass!"

Starfire, you're back! You used the second crystal! Way to be selfish!

Emily takes Starfire's reappearance to remind everyone to support Ravenswood Wildlife Preserve!

"Princess, Tangoo betrayed us all!" Duh.

Time for a major magic battle with Tangoo, the proper end to any young adult fantasy novel.

How lame.
"Twinkle twinkle, blazing star...how I wonder when you'll DIE!"

If you're losing to a Snapeish goblin, remember that you shouldn't be afraid of who you are. Works EVERY TIME.

What's with Adriane and all her sucky wolf analogies?
"You can put a wolf in pink clothing, but she's still a wolf!"

Okay, we get it, everyone believes in Kara. Group hug. HURRY UP, this book is boring.

Lyra comes back, which gives Kara the strength she needs to defeat Tangoo.

And she destroys the power crystal. Stupid.

But Starfire sacrifices himself to save Avalon. But Starfire will always be with her, now and forever.

Agh. Now that the Kingdoms are united, all the queens have to fight about is curtains. No joke.

Selinda wants a flowery yellow fabric. Raelda's going for deep blue velvet.
I'm with Raelda.

So they compromise and choose lavender.

Raelda: I've introduced him to every Goblin girl in the kingdom, but I think he has eyes for someone special.
Awwww.

Musso and Sparky give up magic tracking and open their own cheese business! I so wish I was making that up.

Ha. There's another party. Emily wears a sky blue sundress, Adriane wears a white shirt with jeans (how classy), and Kara chooses Capris with a pink tank top. Wow. So much for dressy.

Emily thinks Lorren is hot, too. Back off, Healer.

"Watch it, Prince, your Zorro is leaking."
WHERE?

LAAAAME.
"A friend taught me not to hide who I really am."

The Trolls get the bunny slippers.
The Elves get the harp.
The Dwarves get the heart.
The goblins get the sunstone.
And the Fairies get a red rose Kara constructed out of magic after she ran out of gifts. But the rose contains all four elements working together, while the other talismans only contain one element each. That's a little unfair, don'tcha think?

Kara gets to keep her magic accessories.

Oh dear, the Dark Sorceress is back and is working with the Spider Witch. We'll have to watch out for them next time.

That was a long book. 212 pages is a little ridiculous for an Avalon book. Back to Pony pals!!