If someone is mean, they have issues, or FTFO Madison Finn #19: Keep It Real

I read this a while ago. Haven't been posting, though, because it's summer and I could be...you know...watching "Monk" and playing with my dog.
Speaking of Tie, she was totally lying right next to me 2 seconds ago. What happened?



Plot: Madison Finn has had enough of Ivy Daly!!! Her English class has just received a new journal writing assignment, and Ivy always writes about how perfect and wonderful her life is. It just makes Madison sick; partly because Ivy is such a fake, and partly because Ivy writes so much in her journal. Journal writing is Madison's territory!!!
It turns out Ivy's life is NOT so perfect after all!!! Her mom has breast cancer.
Fran tells Madison to be nice to Ivy because her mom is sort of dying, but Madison finds it hard when Ivy continues to be such a meanie.
Finally, she convinces her friends to stop giving Ivy such a hard time. Good enough.

More notes:
"We started 'journaling', which is basically keeping track of feelings and observations and all that [in case you didn't know what journaling was]...which is what I do every day on this computer anyway! [Lol, me, too!]"

Madison's first assignment is to write about a very successful or very embarassing moment. Pick embarassing, you've got plenty of those.

The Gang goes to Madison's house.
Hart: Gee, I've never been in your house before.
Drew: Yeah, you have. Haven't you?
Fiona: *to Madison* You WISH Hart had been in your house before....

Egg almost breaks a glass penguin belonging to Madison's mom.
Madison: Careful! My mom got that in the antarctic!
Because they have so many glass penguin shops in the antarctic.

Madison finds it weird that Egg speaks Spanish...even though he's bilingual.
Although he's quite "Dora the Explorer" about it. "Mi mami got it for me. She rocks."

"As Egg clicked away, Madison prayed that his fingers wouldn't slip and cause him to select one of her e-mail messages or open the secret folder on her desktop tht held her files. She had visions of Hart standing there while a dozen different files carrying his name opened up.
Hart Jones
Hart (continued)
Mr. & Mrs. Jones
The One
Him"
Wow. She has officially passed into stalking territory.

Ooh, there's a new exotic website called BLOGGERfishbowl, where bigfishbowl members can BLOG.

Oh no, they come across Madison's journal assignment...and it's blank.
Hm. Either way, that sucks.

Ivy accuses Madison of wicked PMS, but Madison doesn't want to admit that she HASN'T STARTED HER PERIOD.
I don't think she ever will, if it's been three years and she's still 12.

Madison's like, "Ew, Hart has crooked teeth."
So????

Hart: Looked like Ivy and you were arguing.
Madison: Big surprise.
Hart: She gets weirder every day.
Madison: I actually thought you liked her.
Hart: Me? Like Ivy? Uh...not exactly. She's pretty and all that, but sometimes she's just...well, I said it. She's a big weirdo.
Madison: She likes you.
Hart: Whatever.
I think he still likes her. Way to lie and be all, "Me, like her? No way."

Hart: Later, Finnster. Er...Maddie. Sorry, I guess I should stop calling you Finnster. I know it bugs you.
Madison: Yeah, well... No, Finnster isn't so bad. I like it. Don't stop. Really.
Hart: Really?
Madison: I just need to think of a good nickname for you.
Hart: Uh...Egg calls me Loser sometimes. Or Weasel.
Madison: I was thinking more like Hunk.
Hart: Huh? What did you just say???
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Madison: What? I said, 'Dork'. Why? What did you think I said?
Hart: Oh yeah, that's me. Super Dork, actually. *wink*
Phew. Crisis averted. ROFL, that was pretty hilarious, though.

Aimee is depressed because her ballet teacher has breast cancer. Foreshadowing?

Madison tells her mom about the breast cancer.
Fran: It seems like so many women I know have it these days.
Madison: Really? I remember your friend from work. Who else?
Fran: Oh. No one in particular, honey bear.
More foreshadowing!!!

Madison is surfing BLOGGERfishbowl when she comes across a blog written by...*drumroll*...Vicki, AKA Bigwheels, HER KEYPAL!!!
Bigwheels' latest entry:
I know I need to just relax but how can I relax when I don't get any sleep either? I think I'm going to check out one of the chat rooms Dad told me about. I never knew it affected so many kids. I also found out that I can volunteer down @ the speech center in Seattle. I don't think I'll be working with kids who have autism but I will probably learn a lot.
--BW

Autism??? What a concept.
Madison is less concerned by the entry, however, and more concerned about why BIGWHEELS NEVER TOLD HER ABOUT THIS SECRET BLOG!! BETRAYAL!!!

Hey, Madison gets an e-mail from Hart...one that turns out to be a mistake:
From: Sk8ingboy
Hey, guys, my dad just called the FH rink and the dude there said we can play next wkend which is cool so let's find other guys and we'll be hooked up. I was thinking maybe we could go over to Drew's to play the Zone again b4 we sk8 since the game @ Maddie's was so lame. Ok. E-me l8r.

Whoa, wait. The game at Maddie's was LAME? Does that mean the game was stupid or Madison is lame?

Madison has to write a story about a scar, so she writes about the divorce, which is a metaphorical scar.
But then she gets off topic and has to rewrite the entire thing.
Been there.

Oooh, big juicy gossip! Ivy is dating a high-school sophomore!!!
???
But is she SLEEPING with him? Otherwise, that's only SORT OF creepy.

Uh oh...he was talking about her in the locker room. GROSS.

There's actually not that many cute guys at other schools. I'm pretty satisfied with the ones at mine, but Madison thinks otherwise.

Lance reads his scar story outloud in class, and it turns out Lance has a heart defect!!! For Madison, this explains all his nerdy tendencies.
Yeah. Because heart defects cause a person to be socially challenged.

Hmm, Madison hears Ivy crying in the bathroom. EVEN MORE FORESHADOWING??

?? Madison's mom goes on a date...but doesn't tell Madison what went on.

She still wants her parents to get back together, even though her dad is married now?? It's cool if Stephanie gets hurt and everything....

Aargh, Madison's friends twist the rumor about Ivy and make it sound like she's dating a COLLEGE sophomore!!!! Aargh, they're so mean!!
Drew tells them to leave her alone, and they're all, "Ha ha, you like Ivy!!"

Uh oh. It appears Hart still likes Ivy. All his friends are teasing him about it.
He WAS lying after all.

Journaling #3
Topic: List twenty details about someone you know. Try to include details that are about more than just physical appearance.
Egg asks Madison to read her list outloud...but she can't...because it's about HART.

Egg writes about his sister Mariah, who has blue hair and a nose ring. Jealous.

Fiona writes about Madison, but one of her details is "Bad at keeping secrets".
Ouch.

Since they don't have a science teacher and they can't get a sub, Madison's science class has to work in the library the entire period.
And Madison is stuck with Poison Ivy.
Fuuuun.

Madison doesn't remember Ivy's middle name, which is Renee...
...but Ivy remembers MADISON'S middle name, which is Francesca.
Random.

Turns out Ivy already did all the journaling assignments and asked for more!! Oh, I want some, too.

Madison wants those extra assignments.
But Ivy won't give them to her.
Because Madison never shares her science notes.
Catfight!

Madison peeks into Ivy's journal:
Write about a time you had to wait for something you wanted.
What's the point of writing about this? I am supposed to see M. and H. as soon as possible, but I don't know what will happen. J. didn't have happy....

Madison assumes M and H stand for "Madison" and "Hart".

Bigwheels is sorry, but she doesn't feel comfortable telling Madison what's going on in her life.
Madison retaliates and whines, "You always told me to keep it real. You can talk to me!!"
Someone just wants to know the juicy gossip.
Hello. Problem solve. It has to do with AUTISM.

Madison runs into Hart in the hallway.
Madison: I'm such a klutz. I can't believe I whammed into you like that. I am SO sorry. And now look at this mess....
Hart: My dad would call this a happy accident. He always says profound things like that.
What are you implying??

Uh-oh. Hart might've looked at Madison's journal! There's no telling what he saw!
Hmm, it turns out he might've seen "MADISON JONES" written in huge letters.

Aimee's obsessed with the whole "high school sophomore" thing. "OMG, HIS NAME IS FRED!"

And he apparently got suspended once for using drugs.

Wows. The 4th journaling assignment is to write a description of someone you know, and using inflammatory language, Madison writes a pagelong rant about Poison Ivy.

It turns out Mrs. Daly (Ivy's mom) has breast cancer, too!
It's a small world after all.

Duh. The M and J in the notebook stood for "Mom" and "Janet".

It turns out the high-school sophomore is a member of a cancer support group that Ivy goes to and they're JUST FRIENDS.

Madison doesn't want to be nice to Ivy because her FRIENDS will think she's weird.
You could bring up the CANCER. That might help.

Fran STILL won't tell Madison who she's dating...or whether or not she's dating AT ALL.

Madison accidentally tells her friends about the date, and they're all, "OMG, GOSSIP!"
Madison: No! You guys... This is how rumors get started.
Yeah. Remember the "college sophomore" thing?

Fiona: Walter's cute, and I like him a lot, but he can be really, really embarrassing sometimes.
He's a GUY! Not only that, he's in 7TH GRADE! Of course he's embarrassing!

Drew, the rich kid, brags about his new BASEBALL CARD COLLECTION. He even has an original Honus Wagner card!!!
Um, cool...but what's the point?? It's not like there's anyone to trade with him.

Hart grabs Madison's hand suggestively. ????

Fran doesn't want to wear a red dress on one of her dates, because that would send the WRONG IMPRESSION.
Either this guy is religious or it's not a date.

Dude, it's okay if you lie in your journal. Denial is the first step in processing grief. And it's her PRIVATE JOURNAL. It's not like anyone's going to find out.
And Madison doesn't even CARE about the lies Ivy is writing. She's just jealous that Ivy is in her DOMAIN of journals and collages.

Bigwheels reveals her secret: Her brother Eddie has mild autism.
Now he doesn't like being touched, can't sit still, hit himself in public, and apparently can't talk.
Ooooh...poor Bigwheels.

Madison's like...Oh.

The grades were so bad on the last science quiz that Madison's teacher gave everyone an A!!!!!
Whoa...I wish my science teacher had been that nice. I had the highest grade in the class with a B-!

Just when Madison is about to be nice to Ivy, Ivy has to tell another lie about her perfect life, making Madison "madder than mad".

Fran wasn't going on dates...she was meeting with a bigwig to discuss her promotion!! Soon they'll be rich!

Madison is mad that her mom didn't tell her first, though. After she told everyone else. Including Jeff, the guy she had a kid with.
Yeah, I'd probably tell Jeff first, too.

Argh. Madison's friends start being REALLY mean about Ivy (claiming she's on drugs, making fun of her outfit, etc.), so Madison tells them to quit it.
And...ugh, I hate them so much.
Aimee: Are you defending her?
Madison: no, no! But I just think...that maybe...we're being a little harsh...
Friends: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Madison: What's so funny?
Aimee: Maddie, we're talking about the Queen of Harsh here, Poison Ivy Daly, remember? How could we possibly come near her level of mean?

THAT'S your excuse?? When is it EVER okay to accuse someone of being on drugs??? I freaking HATE Aimee.

Wth, Aimee gets WORSE!!
aIMEE: I just saw her crying outside one of hte bathrooms. Can you believe it? Ivy never cries. She's more like an emotional freezer. She doesn't care about anyone else except herself.
Fiona: What was she crying about?
Aimee: Herself. She ran out of lip gloss. Oooh! Poor me!
B**ch.

Madison does some really LAME defending.
Madison: I think Ivy's got a problem.
Aimee: NO KIDDING!
Fiona: HAHAHAHAHA! [I hate her, too]
Madison: No, you two, I'm serious. I think maybe she has a real problem.
Fiona: You're serious?
Aimee: Like, what problem? What do you know that you aren't telling us?
Madison: I just...I don't know anything for sure. But I just think that maybe Ivy is really sad. Maybe she's not being a drama queen for once.
Fiona: I guess you could be right.
Aimee: Please! I can't stay for the pity party.
For the love of God, Aimee!! Who's an emotional freezer now? She doesn't even care!! And Madison just laughs along with her to the pity party comment.
Is it sad that I'm getting really riled about what a fictional character is saying??
Whatever. She's a STUPID fictional character.

Lo and behold! The girls come upon a lady whose son has autism!

Madison: It's so weird that you saw Mrs. Reynolds like that, because I was just wondering about autism.
Aimee: Huh? You were? Maddie, why were you wondering about that?
Madison: Oh, I don't know, Aim, I saw a TV show on autism once...and I-I've always wondered about it. That's all.
Aimee: That's so random, Maddie.
Dude, holy crap. Is Aimee THAT OBLIVIOUS?? What a crappy friend.

Now that Fran is rich, she takes Madison on a joyous shopping spree.
Dang, my parents are the opposite of rich right now.
Stupid gas prices.

And they run into Paige and Ivy Daly at the mall!! Awkward...
I think Mrs. Daly is bald. That's how I pictured her, anyway.

Awww...Ivy is so sad about her mom.
But she also doesn't want anyone to start treating her like a leper because she has a sick mom.
That's the Ivy we know and love. You were scaring me for a minute there, Ivy.

Omg, Mrs. Daly has an asthma attack! Or something. Does cancer affect the respiratory system, too?

Mrs. Daly just randomly throws her arms around Madison and kisses her on the cheek. WHOA. There's this thing we call "The Bubble". You're not respecting it.

For her last journal assignment, Madison has to write a piece from someone else's point of view, so she writes about Ivy. It's pretty depressing.

Yay, Eddie's made progress! He can talk now!!
Maybe he'll grow up to be like the autistic kids at my school who are really good at spelling.
But that's assuming all autistic kids have some sort of superpower when in fact they're just normal kids...sort of.

Surprise! Hart comes over.
And he ran the entire way???
Ha ha, like in #16. "Are you okay?" "Oh yeah, I have asthma."

Chocolate cookies are overrated.
But both Madison and Hart like them. They have SOOOO much in common!!

Wh-What?
Hart: Are you okay?
Madison: No.
And she tells him all about what's been going on...and he listens??? That's cool.

But then, out of the blue, he's all, "You're really nice." Which makes you wonder if he was really listening.

They agree to "do something"...as in go on a date.

Hart: You know...I should tell you something.
Madison: What?
Hart: Well, do you remember the day when you and I collided at school? And your bag fell apart?
Madison: Yeah?
Hart: Well...I saw your journal that day. I saw what you wrote.
Madison: Saw what?
Hart: I saw my name on that page.

Then he just LEAVES!!! MIXED-MESSAGES!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN????

But then Fran comes home and says, "Hart run all the way here? He loves you!"
So everything is okay.

Madison's Computer Tip:
If you want to keep your thoughts and feelings secret, don't write them down in a blog.

Well, I obviously DON'T.
Hm, fun fun fun.
The next one takes place in NYC, so it should be sparkly and fun, according to the back cover.
Agh, I started reading #21, which I'd never read before, and it's a little disappointing. But whatever. I'll be here forever, so expect more later.

CSI is so passe, or FTFO Madison Finn #17: On the Case

This is one of the ones that I could never remember the title to. Seriously, I could rattle off all 25 Madison Finn titles...except this one. I don't know why. It wasn't very exciting.



Plot: Madison loves "Crime Time", an exciting TV show where crimes are solved!!! Sounds like the Far Hills version of CSI. Soon, Madison begins to think SHE can solve crimes!!
People humor her for a little while, and she ends up solving a few petty cases (like The Case of the Missing Keys and The Case of the Lost Kittens), but then she stumbles across a real live mystery at her very own school!
It seems Mr. Olivetti, Madison's flute teacher, lost a very important piece of music. Some people believe it was stolen.
Madison rushes to track down the supposed thief, but does so without the support of her BFF, Aimee. In fact, Aimee seems to think all this Private Investigation is *gasp* DUMB!! The two have several nasty fights, and it seems they will NEVER be friends again!
Thankfully, Madison crashes and burns just in time: the music wasn't STOLEN, just misplaced, and the person she had been suspecting was innocent. Madison admitted how stupid she was to her friends and they welcomed her back with open arms. Sort of.

More notes:
Dang. Maddie is obsessed. She doesn't eat dinner and yells at her mom when she interrupts "Crime Time". And she has a crush on Major Demille. I mean, what freak has a crush on characters from TV...?
Besides me?

Argh. Francine turns off the TV because it isn't proper viewing material...then turns it back on because her daughter complains. Way to be consistent.

Fun, Fiona comes over to watch a "Crime Time" marathon. Par-tay. Actually, I did that with my friend back in the day. We watched nothing but MTV for six hours.

"Fiona had been "going out" (at least that's what they called it) with one of Madison's best guy friends, Walter "Egg" Diaz, for a little while. At first, Madison had hated the idea of their dating, but she was getting used to it over time."
WHOA WHOA WHOA. Madison hated that Egg and Fiona were together??? WHEN??? I don't remember that EVER. She was always like, "Hey, Fiona, go jump in Egg's lap!"

I hate when Madison gets serious about stupid things.
Tonight, we meet a robber who wears a different disguise for every robbery he commits. Last week, he broke into houses wearing a rabbit suit. Yesterday, he knocked off a bank wearing a red beard and a patch over one eye. Tomorrow, who knows what he'll be wearing?
Fiona: A hula skirt. HAHAHAHA.
Madison: Fiona, these are serious crimes.
Fiona: Serious? In a rabbit suit?
Yeah, Maddie, lighten up.

Ugh, lame, the episode is based on true events, and the girls hear "scary noises" so they assume it's THE MASKED AVENGER.

It's just AIMEE, of course!! She wants to join their party!

Egg is jealous of Major Demille???
"Who is that turkey?"
Lol. I'll be saying that a lot from now on.

Madison is being spazzy with Hart again!!
Madison: Hi, Hart.
Hart: I saw you earlier. I guess you didn't see me.
Madison: Oh? No, I guess I didn't. I've been a little preoccupied today. Sorry.
Hart: So, what's up? Why are you so preoccupied?
Madison: Yes.
Hart: Huh?
Madison: I'm fine.
Hart: *sigh* Actually, what I asked you was-
Madison: Do you ever watch "Crime Time"?

Hart is still being way mean to Ivy...but she IS pretty annoying.

Hart plays piano??? Random.

Yay, Blossom's puppies are mentioned!
Ew, Hart adopted one of them and named it Bones Jones.

Aimee kept two of the puppies and named them Yin and Yang. Or rather, her mom did. Ha ha, let's make New Age jokes! -_-

Oh no, some of Madison's things are missing!! Sounds like a mystery.

Phin took them and made a Madison shrine. Weird.
Tie did that. Well, she took my stuff, but didn't make a shrine out of it.
She just chewed most of it.

Ugh, Maddie reminds me so much of the Pony Pals. They were obsessed with snooping and solving mysteries, too.

Fall Fling-A-Ding?? No comment.

"She had just been ogling a pair of cute corduroy pants with flowers embroidered near the cuff."
I try to avoid the word ogling. Sounds pervy.

Madison eavesdrops on a conversation between two nameless girls...and it sounds suspicious.
Well, it does to her, anyway. They sound like they're talking about drugs or a concert. Okay, I guess drugs are pretty suspicious.

Madison: Excuse me.
8th grader: Yeah? What are you looking at?
Madison: Um, I thought you were...I thought...I heard...girls....
LOL. I heard girls.

Madison picks up a scrap of paper with a date, time, and address. Drug deal...or fabulous party??

Ivy seems way jealous of Madison these days. She tells Madison to back away from Hart.

Argh. Mr. Olivetti, Madison's flute teacher, is Italian, so he has the stupid Mario/Luigi accent.

Madison needs better comebacks. She loses another Ivy showdown.

AAargh, I can't believe she's SERIOUS!!
Madison: Don't you think I was pretty clever, Dad, for figuring out what Phin was doing?
Dad: Very, very clever.
Madison: Cut it out, Dad! I was thinking...maybe I should be a detective when I grow up.

Don't encourage her, Stephanie!
"A detective! That's what I wanted to be when I was your age! Believe it or not, Maddie. Sometimes my friends used to call me Sleuthie instead of Stephie at my high school back in Texas."
Stephanie often talks to Madison like she's a little kid. Or just stupid.

Dan is sort of stalking Madison still.

Lame. Some ninth graders randomly come up and start calling Dan a fatty.
"Madison felt her fists clench.
If she were only a little taller...and a little stronger..."
It wouldn't do any good, Maddie. Dan would NOT thank you.

The only reason Dan asked Madison to help him at the animal shelter is because there's an EMERGENCY!!
Someone keeps taking the animals out of their cages! And taking dog treats and chew toys!
And he hasn't told his mom.

Madison suspects Lana.
"LANA! IT'S YOU!"
Lana dies of cardiac arrest.

She just wanted to hold the kittens and feed the puppies!!

How did Madison know?? Cat hair on her sweater.

Okay, so stupid. Eileen, Dan's mom, doesn't fire Lana because it's NOT THAT BIG A DEAL. Dan's like, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH SHE BROKE THE RULES!"

What?? Major Demille is blonde with blue eyes. Reggie, Bigwheels' BF, was last described as having black hair and hazel eyes.
But, somehow, Reggie looks like Major Demille? HOW??

Madison literally wants to be the next Nancy Drew.
Too bad Emma Roberts put you out of a job.

Madison's friends hate it when Ivy makes fun of people, but then they gossip in front of Lana and tell everyone how she "stole" the kittens. It's so mean!

Aimee thinks all this detective work is stupid and that Madison is a little obsessed.
Whoa...could it be? Am I on Aimee's side for once?

Yay, the whole gang is going to see "Curse of the Diamond"!
I wonder if that's the next Indiana Jones sequel.

Ew, I hate it when people have to make it a COUPLE THING.

Aimee doesn't want to go, so Madison might not have a movie "partner" if Hart doesn't ask her!

Lindsay gossips SO MUCH! She's always like, "Omg, guys, I heard a juicy rumor!"
So much for learning her lesson after The Wall incident.

Hm, it seems like some precious object has been stolen at school.

"What does 'precious object' mean? Sounds like a bunch of hooey."
Golly gee, Aimee, that sure sounds like a bunch of hooey, by George.

Lindsay and Fiona think the teachers should come to Maddie for help.
How can they say that with a straight face?

SO UNCALLED FOR!!!
Aimee: I just think you should watch your back.
Madison: You're just made because I might get noticed for this and I have a guy who likes me....
TAKE IT BACK! TAKE IT BACK NOW! Why is Madison such a loser in this book?

Of course, Madison assumes Ivy is the thief. Because she hates her.
Glad to know she's not blinded by prejudice or anything.

"I have nothing else to say to you," is either the lamest comeback ever...or the best.

Madison goes to the address on the slip of paper...and it's a PARTY.
So much for encriminating evidence.

She meets Mariah, Egg's sister, and Mariah's friend Penelope...
...and Penelope is one of the suspicious girls from the library!

Madison thinks it's weird that Penelope is nice.
What's wrong with being nice? Some people are just bubbly like that.

She sees the initials PKO on Penelope's bag.
OH NO! Could it be O for Olivetti?
Um, how about P for Penelope??? You don't know her last name; it probably starts with an O. STupid.

Uh oh. Madison and Aimee have a BIG FIGHT.
BalletGrl: u really expect me 2 believe that there's some school conspiracy and people r stealing bags it sounds dumb
MadFinn: not people stealing bags just 1 person P. and how can you say it's DUMB
BalletGrl: it seems dumb that's all sorry
MadFinn: WELL YOU ARE DUMB

Then, though she feels guilty, she chooses to watch a new episode of "Crime Time" rather than apologize to her best friend.
This relationship is destined to fail.

Madison thinks up an alias using all of her favorite girl names:
Charlotte Helena Isobel Marguerite Phoebe Antoinette
Yeah. That's a good one. Not suspicious at all.

Madison can't understand why Aimee is so moody. After all, Madison supports her ballet; why can't Aimee accept her detectiving???
What a stupid question. SHe can't be serious.

Hm. The stolen item turns out to be old sheet music.
WHY WOULD YOU TAKE THAT TO SCHOOL??? OF COURSE IT'S GOING TO GET STOLEN!

Uh oh. Fiona and Egg are having problems.

They had a big fight...but Fiona can't remember what it was about. Riiight.

Madison: You guys can't both bail out of going to the movies! That isn't fair.
Aimee: Isn't fair for who? Can't you make goo-goo eyes at Hart if you go by yourself?
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!

They start fighting again, and Fiona's like, "Um, um, LET'S MAKE COOKIES!"

Madison questions the staff members...and they're not allowed to reveal any information about the theft.

"Why so bummed out? Did Hart just dump you?"
Oh...hello, Ivy.

Seriously, Mr. Olivetti is dumb. If you bring something REALLY valuable to school, it's most likely going to get stolen.

Madison hears Ivy say, "I can't believe I got away with it!"
But she was only referring to getting away with wearing a semi-scandalous top.

Uh oh, Hart didn't call to tell Madison about the change in movie times. He must not want to be her "partner" for the movies after all.

You actually need a chaperone to get into a PG-13 movie if you're under 13?? Weird. Never happened to me.

Oooh, Madison gets to sit next to Hart in the car.

Hm, could Chet be interested in Aimee??

Madison decides to rethink her alias. Hm, how about making an acronym of her favorite names?
Charlotte Helena Isobel Marguerite Phoebe Antoinette - otherwise known as CHIMPA!

Then it hits her: FINNSTER is the perfect alias!!
Because no one will know it's really you, even though your LAST NAME is FINN.

Madison decides to confront Penelope about the black bag and ASK her if she stole the music.
Yeah, that'll go over well.

"Oh, my God, who are you? Nancy Drew?"
Might as well admit it, Madison.

IT'S NOT MR. OLIVETTI'S BAG! PENELOPE IS INNOCENT!
Can you say no duh??? PKO are, of course, HER initials, and it was just in the band room because she left it in there after band class!!!

Madison's like...*blink blink blink* "May I see inside your bag?"

I applaud Penelope for not slapping her.

Madison starts doodling and it somehow ALL GOES TERRIBLY WRONG.
Madison Demille
Maddie Demille
Mrs. Demille
Finnster Demille
Madison Jones
Mrs. Jones
Surprise!

Mr. Olivetti's music wasn't STOLEN...he LOST IT.
Of course. My dad does that EVERY DAY.
Heh, it would be so funny if Mr. Olivetti had stolen the music in the first place!

Uh oh. Even Hart is laughing at Madison's mistake.
Wow, did Penelope tell everyone? Harsh.

Ivy starts to make fun of her...but Hart stands up for her!! Yay, Hart to the rescue!

"She had it coming, Finnster."

It is sort of all Lindsay's fault.

Aww, I love Dan so much.
Just like when she was sick, Dan is the only one who e-mails her and makes her feel better.
"Madison realized what a good friend Dan was. He always had something supportive and nice to say."
Awwwww.

Argh. Aimee and Madison make up over the internet.
They fought over the internet, they made up over the internet...their relationship seems way fake.
Then again, I'm not one to talk.
And Aimee, for some inexplicable reason, admits that she's too obsessed with dance and that Madison was right all along.
Uhhh...not really.

Madison's Computer Tip:
Use a computer document to make lists and keep track of pals and enemies.

Okay. I'll remember that, Madison.
Ugh. I hate that one. It's always been one of my least favorite books. That and #19. #18 sucks, too, and I'll post that tomorrow. It's more Madison/Aimee drama.

There's just something about older men, or FTFO Madison Finn #16: Three's a Crowd

As school has been ending and Tie has been chewing up all my slippers, there's nothing I've felt like doing less than posting on this blog.
Wait. Does that sentence even work?
Oh well. I've just been busy. I think I read this book sometime in the beginning of May, too. I probably won't remember what the page markers even mean.

Plot: Madison feels terrible. She has the flu and is being forced to stay home for close to a week!! Not that she cares; who likes school?
She starts to go a little stir-crazy, however, when her busy mom calls Gramma Helen over from Chicago to take care of Madison, and Gramma Helen is very old-fashioned. Madison isn't even allowed to go on her laptop!!
The final straw is when Madison notices a cute guy who lives across the street. Whaaat??? How could she have not noticed him before??? His name is Josh, he plays hockey, and communicates with Madison via bedroom window (he writes notes for her to see, like, "How R U?").
When Madison finally gets back to school, she is in LUV. She follows Josh around, has lots of wonderfuly intellectual conversations with him, and ends up blowing off Hart several times. Uh oh.
One day, while at Freeze Palace with her dad, Madison runs into Josh...and his GIRLFRIEND!!! :O
She is heartbroken, of course.
Then her friends cheer her up and Madison realizes they never had a chance anyway.
Then she goes off and hangs with Hart.

More notes:
Today's Mental Floss:
If an international airliner crashed exactly on the U.S.-Mexican border, where would authorities be required to bury the survivors!!
When I first got this book, I tried to figure this out for 10 minutes and failed.

They have a big English assignment on any topic of their choosing - except for extreme sports, serial killers, video games, or biographies of current celebrities, rap stars, or sports stars.
There goes my idea.

Weird. Madison and Fiona get sick at the SAME TIME.

Egg and Fiona are so weird and couple-y. It would be super awkward to hang out with them.

Back to the mental floss: Why would anyone bury survivors??? HAHAHAHA! Dang. I wish I'd guessed that.

"Get thyselves to the nurse's office, young ladies, before we all catch your bugs, okay?"
Why is Mr. Gibbons trying to sound like Shakespeare?

Nurse Shim still creeps me out.

Whoa, they all have fevers of 102.

Aimee's sick, too!! Weeeird.

AAAAGH. I hate that you can't leave school when you're sick without parental consent, even if you live 2 minutes away. I couldn't get ahold of either parent for a LONG TIME when I got sick and they almost made me stay and suffer at school. Raaaah.
But Madison finally called her dad, like I did, so she was able to go home.

OMG!!! Madison sneezes on Hart's sweater, and I mean SNEEZES. There's a HUGE loogie on his shirt.

But Hart seems to be okay with it?

Ewww, tofu broth!!?? Who would want to drink that when they're sick? Wouldn't it just make them sicker?
My brother started eating tofu recently, and he says it tastes like a diaper, but he loves it.
Possibly because he pours Johnny's Tenderizing Seasoning Salt all over it before he eats it.

Mom: You know what? You look pale.
Madison: But I always look pale, don't I?
We were talking about that in jazz band. Paul felt the need to mention that I was the second-whitest kid in school, after him. Thanks, Paul.

Psych, Madison has bronchitis.

And her friends just have colds. How lame is that?

Madison's mom and dad always pick fights. Not awkward, or anything.
But Jeff comes over with chicken, and Fran offers him wine when she knows he doesn't drink?

"Well, I'll leave you to your chicken."
That sounds so weird, but fun to say.

Sick people just want TLC.

"It was a boy. He had red hair, or at least it appeared red under the street lamp. He wore an old corduroy jacket, ripped jeans, and lumberjack boots. The big dog sniffed madly at a hydrant."
Lol. In 7th grade there was a boy in my neighborhood with dachsunds, and I was like, "Omg, boyz!!" But he's shorter than me, now, and I don't know what happened to his dogs.

Yay!! If my grandma came over to take care of me when I was sick, I'd be so excited.
Only my grandma lives in Washington, so I see her all the time.
If Grandma Nina came over, it'd be pretty cool, though. I haven't seen her in 2 years.

Awww, Dan e-mails her. I love that boy.
Someone told me ur sick. No way b/c I am @ the clinic $ there are 5 lizards here right now and they are sick 2!!! I had 2 tell u b/c u always laff @ stuff like that.
He names the lizards Wizzy, Fizzy, Dizzy, Tizzy, and Lizzy.
-_-

Then Egg offers to pick up her and Fiona's homework.
At the end of the e-mail, he grudgingly offers to pick up Aimee's, too. Lol.

Hey, you can like 2 guys at the same time. Nothing wrong with that.

Strange. Gramma Helen got a fortune cookie that said she would be traveling to faraway places, and here she is in New York!
Connor got one that said, "You like Chinese Food."

Lol, Gramma's like, "You lay in bed, and I'll run a eucalyptus bubble bath and make some saltwater gurgle while the cold-air vaporizer charges," and Madison's like, "Whatever, Gramma, can we just play cards?"

The girls always talk about how mean Poison Ivy is, but Lindsay sends them this e-mail that's practically 8 pages of ridiculing her outfit.
I guess she never really got over the whole "Fat Camp Loser" thing.

:O HART BLEW OFF POISON IVY!!
They were supposed to work on the English project together, but he stood her up and then pretended not to know what she was talking about.
Okay, even if it is Poison Ivy, that's really mean. Hart's a jerk.

Hart might like another girl besides Ivy...but that could be anyone.
Come on, Madison, it's so you.

Chicken lemon orzo soup???
I'd rather have orange juice and crackers.

Bigwheels is all, "Omg, I found this website where you can send free e-cards!!"
Aren't there millions of those sites around??? They're not exactly a new invention, Bigwheels.

Madison tells Bigwheels about the new boy:
"I had this dream last night that he was spying on me and wanted to meet me."
Wow. That would've creeped me out.

Agh, I love optical illusions, which is what Madison, Aimee, Fiona, and Lindsay pick for their English project.

I remember reading "The Outsiders"!
"Stay gold, Ponyboy."

Egg comes over with Madison's homework, and Gramma Helen FREAKS OUT. "Did I meet this boy the last time I visited? Why are boys calling on you when you're sick in bed?"
She sounds like my dad. Kevin, Alexis, and I bought ice cream at 7/11 and my dad was like, "Who's he?? Is he your friend? Is he in band? Well, of course he's in band. Oh, hi Alexis."

WHOA. Egg apparently knows EVERYTHING about Madison's hot neighbor! His name's Josh, he's in 9th grade (ooooh, an older boy! Lol), he plays hockey, and is friends with Drew.
Then Egg suddenly gets defensive and is like, "What about Hart, Maddie?"

ROFL! "I thought you dug Hart."
Can you dig it? Yes, I can. I've been waiting such a long time for Saturday.
Sorry. Chicago moment.

Oooooh. Egg crushes all of Maddie's hopes and dreams!
Madison: Does Hart know...that I like him?
Egg: I think so. But so what? He doesn't care.
:O WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT???
Madison: He doesn't care?
Egg: I don't know what he thinks. We don't really talk about it.
EGG! THAT'S DIFFERENT THAN NOT CARING!!

What is it about older guys that make girls giggle incessantly???
Possibly because all the guys our own age aren't as hot??

Bigwheels sends this dumb list of things to do when you're sick. It's supposed to be hilarious.

Gramma's like, "A laptop? How fascinating. Show me how this titillating contraption works! I want to send an e-mail to Mabel!"

Frannie thinks work is more important than her daughter. How lame is that?

Whatever happened to Blossom's puppies? I want one.

Lindsay stalks Josh for a day and finds out the following information:
His full name is Josh Turner.
He's in 9th grade.
He plays hockey.
He also plays the accordion AND the tuba????
He's single.

Madison has cute pajama pants. I'm sort of jealous.
Then again, I have boxers!! :P

AAAAGH!! She spies Josh through her window.

He says "Hi There" and then goes to bed when Madison can't think up a fitting reply.

The secret is revealed:
Maybe I'll see him in the hallway and he'll ask me to have lunch with him at his table in the cafeteria. That would just burn Poison Ivy if I got to sit with the ninth graders at lunch!!
:P The girls at my school who are dating juniors are so annoying, like they're so much better than the rest of us. But, then again, it would be cool to be like, "Hehehe, your boyriend is 5'6". My boyfriend can drive...AND SHAVE!"

Ew. It's so nasty when you don't shower or change clothes when you're sick.

OMG, HART WAS ASKING ABOUT MADISON AT SCHOOL.
He asked Dan, which is sort of cold.
"I'm worried about the girl we both like, Dan. Do you know anything about her? Is she feeling okay?"

Hart is SUCH A JERK to have led Poison Ivy on this whole time. He thinks she's annoying and has an attitude and wishes she would just go away.
WHY DIDN'T YOU THINK THAT BEFORE??? She's shown her true colors so many times. Why do you have to be so mean NOW?

Uh oh. Would having a ninth-grader boyfriend be cooler than having HART as a boyfriend?
Maddie, say it isn't so!!

Whoas. If my kid was sick, I wouldn't go out of town until they were better.
Geez, Frannie.

Madison "talks" (via window) to Josh again, but he gets bored and turns off his lamp. BAD SIGN.

Madison wishes that Josh Turner would fall madly in love with her.
Awww.
We were watching Pam Stenzel, and she was talking about how older boys are creepy and can't get anyone to date them, so younger girls shouldn't, either.
When you put it that way, it's kind of true.

Frannie is dumping her only kid with Gramma Helen for a week, and when Madison says she wants a little time away from her overly nice old-fashioned Gramma, Fran's all, "You should be grateful, bla bla bla."
Way to justify leaving your sick kid at home. She's probably just leaving to get away from Helen, anyways. Quit being a hypocrite, Fran.

A boy comes to visit...and it's Egg. Again.

Surprise!! Hart and Drew are with him.

Wait...Lindsay made fun of Ivy's brown sweater near the beginning of the book...now Hart's wearing one.
:O!
Was Ivy wearing Hart's sweater??? So much for not liking her.
Or maybe...WHOA! This is like a soap opera!!!
And Hart is still a jerk.

Hart gives her flowers.
Madison's like, "Omg! *swoon*"
But it turns out they were from her dad and were sitting on the front porch.
Ooooooh.

Egg is so mean!
Madison: The flowers are from my dad.
Egg: Duh. Who else would send you flowers?

Surprise! Josh comes over. Madison spazzes out.

Hart tries to engage Madison in conversation, but she's like, "Uh-huh, yeah. So, Josh...."

Then she asks him [Hart] all these questions about Josh. Way to be heartless, Maddie.

Surprise! Madison's hair is a mess and her T-shirt is stained. Mwahaha. Murphy's law.

Gramma turns out to be a Betty. Who dated OLDER BOYS!!
Fran apparently dated every boy in Far Hills.

OMG, GRAMMA DATED SOMEONE FOUR AND A HALF YEARS OLDER THAN HER!! AT 16!!!
That's like me dating my brother. Only we're not related, but it's still semi-illegal, were we to have sex, but we wouldn't, but people would assume he's a pervert anyway, which he probably IS.

Mmm, this older gentlemen was named Charlie Francis. Helen liked the way he wore his ties. Euphemism for something else?

He asked her out when he was 20 and she was SIXTEEN!!!!

They also talk about Mackie, the butcher's son, and Gabriel, a boy in the church choir.
Whoas. They sound dreamy.

Madison thinks she might not like Hart as much!!

Her friends are like, "You can't forget Hart!! Btw, my brother knows Josh, want me to hook you up?"

Gramma wants Madison to go to bed at 8:30.
What? She's not 6!

Now Bigwheels is sick.

She wants to know what happened to Hart, too.
"What had happened to Hart? And what was Madison going to do about her change of heart?"

Mr. Danehy suggests Madison catch up on her science homework with the help of HART JONES.
Coincidence? Or not?

But she forgets about that when Josh comes over and talks to her!!!

Josh: Well...I have class.
Madison: See you through the window!!
Oh, Madison. You have no idea how NERDY that sounded.

Argh!!!! Hart's like, "Madison, can we talk?" and he leaves an empty seat next to him at lunch and EVERYTHING, and Madison's just like, "Whatever."
AAAAARGH!

Lindsay's like, "Let's send Fiona and Aimee an e-mail full of gossip!! Let's tell them about Josh! That's juicy!"
Excuse me, but how??? He's just a cute guy who talked to Madison once, and only to be polite.

M. C. Escher!!

"Tuesday afternoon, after turning in to Blueberry Steet on the walk home from school, Madison spotted Josh. He was way ahead of her, but Madison didn't think. She just started running.
'Hello!' Madison gasped when she caught up to him.
Josh whirled around. 'Whoa. Hello, yourself. I didn't hear you.'
Madison tried to keep from panting, but her mouth was dry from running so fast. She wiped her forehead and tried to look cool.
'Are you okay?' Josh asked. 'You're purple.'
'Oh, I have asthma,' Madison said. It was a strange lie, but it sounded a lot better than, 'Oh, I was just running to catch up to you.'"
OMG!!!! That's so hilarious!! "Oh, I have asthma!"

Josh has a pet poodle named Cuddles. Um...

Gramma Helen is confusing. First, she's like, "Fran, don't ditch your kid!" Then she's like, "Madison, you must understand your mom has a lot on her plate."

They watch Fran's new documentary, which is about AIDs. Gramma even starts crying.

Group hug!

Madison goes out to talk to Josh, and misinterprets all of his actions as, "He thinks I'm cute. He's speechless because I'm so beautiful."

BATTING YOUR EYES DOESN'T WORK.

Josh totally ditches her and is like, "Um, that's nice, I have to help my dad."
I REALLY don't think he likes you, Maddie.

Oh no!! She tries to window-chat with him, and he just goes to bed without answering.
Definitely a bad sign.

Madison tries to make pancakes. "I can't do this!!"
Sorry. Just struck me as funny.

OH NO!!! Hart tries to talk to Maddie and she's like, "Uh-huh. Uh-huh. What are you talking about?"
AAAGH!!1 MADISON FINN!!! DID YOU EVER LEARN SOCIAL SKILLS??

Lindsay: He is cute. I think you would make a nice couple.
Madison: Jeez, Lindsay! Why don't you just announce it over the loudspeaker?
Lol!!

Whatever. Aimee berates Maddie for liking someone who is "practically in high school."
You like someone who is "practically in Mensa", so shut up.

Madison reads an article entitled, "Two's Company, but three's a crowd: How do you choose when you like two?"
But she never gets to finish it, so she still can't decide.

"I think maybe it's a good idea if you're going out with that older guy. Guys our age can be such dorks."
Gusy in GENERAL can be dorks.

Madison sees Josh at Freeze Palace.
"Madison wanted to turn three shades of purple.
I'm with my dad.
It sounded so seventh grade."

Whoa, Madison and Josh have the same favorite ice cream flavor!

Too bad Josh has a girlfriend! Surprise! Her name is Remy...and he had his hand on THE SMALL OF HER BACK. You know what that means.

Madison runs out of the shop and cries the whole way home.

Bigwheels is going out with Reggie again AND her cat is having kittens.
Life is so unfair.

It doesn't seem like such a big deal, but Madison is totally heartbroken. It's really sad.
And she totally saw it coming, anyway.

Aimee is such a horrible friend.
"So that's it? That's the end of Josh? I was getting excited about the prospect of your dating some ninth grader. And then maybe you'd introduce me to some other ninth grader..."
How shallow.
Madison totally blew the Josh thing out of proportion.

HART CALLS!
Madison: What are you guys doing for your Web page project?
Hart: The Titanic.
Madison: That's deep.
Hart: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *more hysterical laughter*

Hart then proceeds to tell her how annoying Ivy is and how she's failing science.
JEEEEEERK.

OMG! He asks her out! Say no! Say yes!
She says yes.
Now they're going to the movies...as a couple...on Saturday!!!

Hart was worth the wait.
Whatever that means.

Madison's Computer Tip:
Use e-mail to keep in touch with friends and family when you're stuck at home.

Wise words.
I'm definitely DONE with the computer for now, so I'm going to chillax!!! (Nickolodeon word!) and read a while. Maybe I'll post on Monday.

Somebody's getting married! Part #1

Our first Madison Finn Super Special! And this one truly is SUPER special: it's more than 300 pages, which is 3 TIMES as long as the average Pony Pals Super Special.
Beat that, Jeanne Betancourt.



Plot: Well, you knew it was coming. Madison's dad (Jeff) and his girlfriend Stephanie are getting married!!! In two weeks!!! In Texas!!! And they want Madison to be the junior bridesmaid!!!
Can I get a, "Yeee-haaw,"?
Madison has a whole BUNCH of conflicting emotions.
Stephanie not only wants her to be a bridesmaid and wear a TON of fancy clothes to all the parties her mother has planned, but wants her also to read one of Shakespeare's sonnets.
Hm. I wonder if it was one of the procreation sonnets.
No, really, I do.
But seriously. Madison? Stuttering stage-fright run-from-conflict Madison? You want HER to read a sonnet at your WEDDING?
Whatever. Your funeral.
Madison is SCAREDER THAN SCARED!!
So far, she's just arrived in Texas, and her suitcase is somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin!!! With no dress, no laptop, and no wedding gift in sight (she's trying to write a poem with no luck), what will our heroine do????
You'll find out later.
Most of this novel is actually just filler. She doesn't leave for Texas until page...90 or so.
To be continued...

More notes:
Before you tell your kids some big news, it's always good to SUCK UP to them and be REALLY obvious that something's on your mind.

They're getting married in two weeks???
To cope, Madison orders three pieces of chocolate cake.
That's my girl.

Madison's like, "Why are you marrying Stephanie, you just ditched my mom?"
A year IS pretty soon, I guess. Because, in Madison Finnland, time stopped right before 7th grade started, so it's always a year since the Big-D.
Which is weird, because if that's true, he met Stephanie like RIGHT AFTER the divorce, if they've been dating a while.
Sorry. Concrete random.

Stephanie almost got married once...but called it off. UH OH.

Yeah, Frannie (Madison's mom) knew, and she decided not to say anything?
And she's totally fine with the whole thing?
Hello, you were once MARRIED to this man! You once had SEX with this man! You have a DAUGHTER with this man?
Doesn't it bother you?

She is a little bothered by the two week notice.

Madison, like Anna Harley, RESISTS CHANGE.

The wedding invitation says, "Regrets Only."
Uh oh.
Madison has some regrets she'd like to share with the class.

Madison: At the end of the invite there's this line "regrets only" and I wanted to call him up and shout I HAVE REGRETS, DAD! DON'T DO IT!!!

Didn't Bigwheels get another kitten in the last book? Madison's just NOW addressing this?

Whaaat? Bigwheels spent all of #11 claiming she was in love with Reggie.
LIES!

What's wrong with dressing casual?
In Laurenland, it's casual Friday EVERY day!

How are Egg and Fiona still only "sort of" going out? Didn't he ask her out on a REAL DATE, where they HELD HANDS at the MOVIES? That's pretty serious.
Hehehe. He calls her "Fee" and she calls him "Walter".

Drew: *little rich boy* Cool, huh? *points to a row of golden torches* Mom got them shipped here from Samoa or something.
Aimee: Come on! You can get those at the home decorating store in downtown Far Hills for five bucks!
Drew: Really? Well, they're cool, anyhow.

Drew has a GIRLFRIEND.
I KNOW!!!
This is Stalker Drew who followed Maddie everywhere and asked her to the Heart to Heart Dance!!
I know he had to get over it sometime, but still, this is quite a blow.
I've been in a similar situation.
Maddie's all, "Wtf, I thought you liked me!"

Heheh, junior high girls.
"Look, over there! I think that's Ben! Over by the torch! *runs away*"
Hehe. I had a friend be like, "Omg, So-and-so complimented me! But I only like him a little bit."
....

Fiona, you hypocrite.
"I can't believe she acts that way around him."
Um...ahem? You and EGG?

Awkward. Madison has to go to dinner with Dad and Stephanie.
And it seems they REALLY want to be alone.

Everyone's crying and getting sappy.
Ooookaaay.

HA!
Stephanie: Maddie, in addition to the poem, I wanted to ask you if you would...oh...How do I say this? Jeff, help me out here.
Dad: What Stephanie is trying to say, Maddie, is will you stand up for her at the wedding?
Madison: I know, I just said I would stand up for her. I'll read the poem. I assumed that I would be standing up to do it...
HAHAHAHA! Oh, Madison, you crack me up.
Actually, I didn't know what "stand up for me" meant, either.

Basically, she wants her to be the junior maid of honor.

There are hundreds of Wolfes (Stephanie's family) coming...and 2 Finns (Jeff's family).

Stephanie's color scheme is "pale colors".
Sweet, I could just go naked.
Aw wait, I tanned a little.

Dad: Hey, Maddie, when you get the dress, just don't pick out some super short outfit with lots of Big Bird feathers.
Maddie: Okay, Dad. I guess I'll return the yellow boa and my leather miniskirt.

Mom: You can pick out whatever color dress you like, as long as it's a pale color. That was all she asked.
[Hey, at least she's letting you pick out your own dress, rather than picking a really ugly one for you.]
Madison: Pale? But I look ucky in pale colors. I'm pale!
Same here, Maddie.

Her friends still haven't guessed about Hart!!!

Madison's First Draft of the Wedding Poem
Your wedding is a special (ACK!!) day
And you will be feeling good in every way
The sun is shining bright on your FACES
And there is no one who can take your places
(No one?)
Thank u for making me a part of the day (change this word)
OH I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!!!!!

It could use some work.

Madison finds the perfect dress...and it's ORANGE, her favorite color.

And she runs into Elaine, Drew's new girlfriend, at the mall.
UH OH.

Elaine's really nice and oblivious to bragging.

She's on her way to meet Drew in the library in 15 minutes.
Madison wonders if they'll be doing something other than checking out books...
Such as checking out each other...
Who knows, maybe they'll even do a little studying...
And Drew will teach her a little French...
Hahaha, libraries are so useful for analogies.

Bigwheels is always:
A. sick
B. grounded
C. unable to go online because her computer crashed
Then she goes on to describe
A. her little brother and sister
B. her fight with her best friend
C. Reggie
D. her new pet
E. her new computer (whenever her computer crashes, SHE GETS A NEW ONE!!!)

Ooh, Bigwheels met a cute guy named Tommy. He has a billion freckles. Sounds...hot.

Dun dun dun!! The first mention of bras in a Madison Finn book!

Uh oh. Stephanie casually mentions that there will be few fancy parties, so Madison needs some more dressy outfits.

So Madison starts cleaning out her closet...Eminem-style.

Fiona loans her a dress.
Isn't Fiona like a foot taller, though?
Oh well. If it's a sundress, she could wear it as a sheath dress or something.

Ew, Fiona and Madison get in a WAY sappy discussion about love, and whether or not they'll ever fall in love and get MARRIED. Fiona wonders if Egg will ever pop the question.
Ha, yeah. If Egg ever decides to COMMIT.

Awkward conversation with Hart.
Bad. Or good?
But you're making him nervous.
Good? Or bad?

"Totally free! Thanks, Mr. G."
Chet made a poem!!

Uh oh. Aimee and Fiona saw Madison talking to Hart, and she was SO flirting with him just now.

We've passed page 90, and Madison STILL hasn't left for Texas.

"'Have a good trip, Finnster,' Hart said with a wave of his hand.
'I will,' Madison said, unable to take his eyes off Hart's tousled hair. For a split second, she had an overwhelming urge to throw her arms around him and give him a hug."
RESIST THE URGE, MADDIE! RESIST THE URGE!

Page 100: She just got on the plane.

Fiona and Aimee write her a really long letter, in which they accuse her of liking Drew.

Stephanie's Texas accent comes creeping back into her voice.
Like my dad, whenever he goes back home, he gets a really thick Southern accent.
Actually, that happens every time he talks on the phone with his parents.

Madison lost her suitcase.
Oh.
No.
Now she can't change clothes.
OR check her e-mail.

Madison gets her own hotel room!!! And it's really nice!!!
Stephanie and Dad get a room to themselves.
Uh oh.
Implying they're sexually active.
That's not something I'd want to know about my dad and his partner.
If my dad were to start dating another woman if my mom died in a tragic boating accident or something.

TV! Sofa! Minifridge!!! Pretty sweet hotel room, right?
Like the suite my grandparents got us for their anniversary??
Ooooh yeaaaah.

Lame. Egg asked Fiona to the movies...
...and then ditched her.
Well, he called her and told her he couldn't make it, which is different than being stood up, but still.
That's mean.

So we'll pick up where we left off next time.
Just remember that Stephanie and Dad are getting married in Texas.
Egg is a jerk.
And Madison has no clothes on!!!
To be continued....

Way to give away the end, or FTFO Madison Finn #15: Off the Wall

Don't you hate it when the library has every book in a series...
...except the one you need???
I'm trying to find a stupid picture of this book, and my library site, of course, doesn't have this one.
You know what sucks? I ordered a BUNCH of Madison Finns that I've never read, and I'm not going to be able to read them, because I'm trying to do this in series order!!! Aaargh!



Plot: Something is very, very wrong in Far Hills. Madison's favorite teacher, Mrs. Wing, has gone missing!!! She and her husband have just up and left, without leaving a note or anything!
Madison is worrieder than worried.
If that wasn't enough, Aimee's dog Blossom is about to have puppies...with another bassett hound! See, Madison and Aimee made a pact in fourth grade that had something to do with Phin and Blossom having puppies together. It appears Aimee has broken the pact!!
To get her mind off things, Madison checks out a web Egg reccomended to her called "The Wall". The Wall is full of juicy gossip, AKA heaven for 7th grade girls.
Oh no! Someone starts posting nasty things about Madison's friends...and it looks like Madison is to blame! Will Fiona, Aimee, and Lindsay ever talk to her again?
After a little bit of digging, Madison finds out the culprit is none other than Ivy herself (saw it coming).
To get back at the fiend, she writes a very nasty message about Ivy and posts it on The Wall.
Afterwards, she is racked with guilt and tells her parents everything.
They help her take down the message...and then ground her and take away her computer for a month.
OUCH.
Fiona, Aimee, and Lindsay apologize to Madison for not believing her, and everything is rosy once more.
Oh yeah, Madison forgets about the puppies, and Mrs. Wing, it turns out, left to adopt a baby!! Yay!! Sunshine and flowers!!

More notes:
Why are school computers always so slow?

Lance has a crush on Madison, but she is repulsed by his nose-picking and cheerful, "Howdy"s.

The new computer substitute is cool, lol.
"Holy cow! It took me a century to find you cats."

Mrs. Wing leaves Madison in charge...because she's the class expert.
How embarrassingly flattering.

Egg: Get out of here. I would whomp you.
"Whomp" you?? Wth?? Who says that?

Madison and Aimee "enjoy" watching Fiona and Chet's fights.
Enjoy??? What's to enjoy? Those are so awkward!

There is no way boys gossip more than girls.
But they do gossip quite a bit.

Egg sings The Wall's praises, because there aren't any moderators.
RED FLAG! RED FLAG!

There are a buttload of rules that nobody's going to follow WITHOUT MODERATORS.

Aimee IMs Maddie to tell her about the puppies.
But when they get to the part about there being a dad OTHER than Phin, Madison just signs off.
That's always nice.

Madison is such a drama queen! "My best friend has betrayed me."
They're just puppies! And it's not like you shook on the whole puppy plan.
Yeah, the whole "puppy plan" consisted of a bunch of jokes on how ugly Blossom and Phin's puppies would be.

SHE EVEN ADMITS IT! "It was like a dream of mine. I know we didn't make a formal pact or anything, but isn't a friend's word supposed to count for something?"

Dude, I looked these kinds of puppies up online, and they're adorable!!! Just go online and look up "Bassugg puppies".

Dan: Maddie! I'm so glad you're here. I could use your help big-time.
Madison: I'm glad you're here, too. It's been a bad day. I need cheering up.
Dan: Try cleaning up dog poop and cat poop. That'll cheer you up real fast.
Oh, Dan, you charmer you.

THe conversation takes an awkward turn when Madison mentions "those naked-looking cats".
Dan: *giggle* Naked?
Madison: *blush of death* So, um, about my problems....

Dan thinks Madison should chill out and not be so mad at Aimee.
He also thinks Dr. Wing and Mrs. Wing ran away together, but hey.

Madison's Dad wants to go out to dinner with Stephanie's nephew Kirk.
Madison thinks Kirk will probably be a dork.
And, of course, he's no Hart Jones.

Madison's Excuses for not dining with Kirk:
I have the walk the dog.
I have to wash my hair.
I have to save the world from an alien attack.
This probably spoils everything, but Kirk, in later books, turns out to be a way cute Kountry Gentleman.
Poor, poor Madison.

Yay, "Number the Stars"! That's one of my favorite books!!

Ivy is so evil!!
Ivy: I don't see what the big deal is. I mean, I didn't really fail the test. I only got a D, you know. Mr. Danehy is such a pain.
Joan: Science is so dumb anyway.
Ivy: And if that stupid twit Madison had just sat differently, I could have cheated off her paper, anyhow. She's such a goody-goody.
Joan: You'll pass science.
Ivy: Who really cares? I can always copy Madison's lab notes anyway. I do it all the time when she isn't looking.

Mrs. Wing adopted a baby...and Madison was the last one to know.
Been there, done that.
Meaning I've been the last to know. No, I haven't adopted a baby recently. The last baby I met yelled, "Poop," at me and threatened to beat me up if I spoke again.

Someone who goes to FHJH writes a post about Mrs. Wing on the wall. Maddie is like, "Nooo, everyone knew before me!!"
Someone replies to the post: So what, who cares?
Yeah, really, who cares? My teachers get pregnant all the time.

Aimee and Fiona are so stupid!!! They both post on a board called "Hotties" using their REAL SCREENNAMES!!! Now everyone will know it's them!
Posted by: BalletGrl
Date: 5 Nov
Message: actually I like this guy Ben but no one really knows so shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I should not have written that
Why would you write it if you didn't want anyone to know???
Posted by: Wetwinz
Date: 5 Nov
Message: of course someone who has been flirting w/me a lot wink wink can u guess who? *G*

Aimee sees the humor in the puppy situation.
Aimee: Maddie! I told you that about the puppies when we were in, like, fourth grade! And besides, my mom and dad are the ones who decide who Blossom will have puppies with, not me. And they want basset hounds, not some mix of pug and...Maddie, can you imagine what Blossom and Phin's babies would really look like?
Uh, yeah...they would be SOOO CUTE!

Fiona: By the way, I heard some big news.
Madison: Yeah, yeah, big news, I know. Mrs. Wing had a baby.
Fiona: Huh? What are you talking about? A baby? She did?
Madison: Wait. You didn't know?
Fiona: MRS. WING HAD A BABY? Oh, wow! This is, like, HUGE news. My news is so little and puny compared to yours. I just found out that the soccer team is moving their practice space. Wow! How did you find about Mrs. Wing?
So it turns out Madison isn't the last one to know, but come on, Fiona!! The soccer team is moving their practice space??? WHAT KIND OF NEWS IS THAT???

Oooh, lucky. Madison's school has free period instead of study hall.

Someone posts a REALLY mean message about Lindsay!!
Posted by: LoVeBuG
Date: Nov 6
Message: there is ms. fatty in my class and she is SOOOO fat that she cant even go 2 regular camp LOL she has to go to FAT CAMP and she walks around with a dumb black haircut & purple backpack that looks like she should be in the first grade LOSER!!! I feel bad 4 her yah right NOT FHJH would be better w/o her :)
That's pretty mean, but I thought Lindsay had light brown hair. She even has some on the cover.

Lindsay now wants all of her friends to stop going on the site.
It may be disloyal, but...
...I'd probably keep going on The Wall if I were Madison.
Which she does.

Lindsay: I bet it was the guys. I know they make fun of me because I'm overweight. I heard them once.
Madison: You did?
Lindsay: Yeah. I heard Hart and Chet talking once about who was the prettiest in our class.
Madison: Hart and Chet?
Fiona: What did they say, exactly? My brother is such a geek. Don't listen to him!
Lindsay: I don't remember everyone they were talking about, but I do know they said Ivy was the hottest girl and that some other girls were okay but some were too fat, like me and Beth Sanders.
[!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS SO MEAN!!! Proof that guys suck.]
Fiona: Well, Lindsay. Beth Sanders is fat. She's huge. She takes up two seats at lunch. You're not fat like that.
[I lied, girls suck, too. ESPECIALLY FIONA.]
Madison: That's not the point, guys.
Thank you, Madison.

Lol.
"Madison knew the truth. They would all huff and puff and complain about how terrible it was to post gossip. And then they'd each go home that very night and check the next postings on the gossip page - just in case something interesting came up."

Some people just suck at math. Video games have nothing to do with that.

Madison's Dad reads the Lindsay post outloud, and it sounds kind of funny when he says it.
"What does that text say? 'Fat camp'? 'Looks like she should be in the first grade LOSER'? What is this? This isn't an e-mail from one of your friends, is it?"

Dad thinks girls are meaner than boys.
So true.

Fiona has big news!!!
Fiona: Okay, so he finally, really asked me.
Madison: Asked you? What? Who?"
Fiona: Egg! He asked me out. For real.
Madison: He asked you out? He said those exact words.
Fiona: He wants to go to the movies next week. Can you believe it? I know we're sort of a 'couple', but this really makes a difference
AARGH, NO!! You're not officially a "couple" until he asks you out.
Otherwise, he's just playing you.
I can't believe it's been this long and he JUST NOW asked her out.
Egg's a playa....

Whoa, Madison stands up to Ivy in this one! And it's really funny!
Madison: You obviously don't know the meaning of the word homework, Ivy. It means you actually have to do work, at home.
Ivy: Well, YOU obviously don't understand what it means to be partners, Madison. It means that occasionally you show me your notes. I would do the exact same for you.
Madison: Yeah. If you ever took notes.
Ivy: Excuse me?
Madison: Look, Ivy, I have to go. Why don't you just ask Mr. Danehy for help?
PWNED!!

Why is Fiona so overdramatic??
Fiona: Maddie, I can't believe you!
Madison: What happened?
Fiona: You promised you wouldn't tell!!
Madison: Fiona...
Fiona: I thought you were my friend. How could you?
Madison: Please tell me what's wrong.
Fiona: Why don't you read The Wall? You'll see what I'm talking about, Maddie. You'll see.

Posted by: MF13
Date: 8 Nov
Message: some secrets r way 2 hard 2 keep even about my friends F.W. sez its all god but she and W.D. probably want to hook up @ the movies next week I know it what a j-o-k-e they are so NOT innocent :)
:O Okay, "Madison" basically called Fiona a slut, but Fiona seems more mad that "Madison" told her secret.
Yeah, you should keep your friends' secrets, but what's secret about being asked out?? Wouldn't you be happy? Wouldn't you WANT to share the news with everyone? I mean, you're already "a couple", right???
So, even though I know Madison didn't write this, she shouldn't have told the secret, but WHY WAS IT A SECRET IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Um, duh. Egg told everyone. Big surprise.

Madison thinks it might be Chet, then feels bad and insists they shouldn't do anything.
Why would Chet do that...AND use Madison's scrnnme? Confused.

Madison wants to know if Dan ever made up a fake screenname for himself.
Who hasn't?? No offense, Maddie, but MadFinn kind of sucks.

Aimee has a secret, too! She might get a lead in the next ballet production!
$100 it'll be on The Wall tomorrow.

Madison's gym shorts are sort of tight and Ivy makes fun of them.
I thought tight things were in?? Ivy's just jealous.

Hehehe, Madison gets paired up with Ivy for volleyball.
Ivy: I despise volleyball.
That makes two of us.
Madison: You just despise everything and everyone.
Heheheheheh.

Madison finds a bulletin about Aimee on the wall...supposedly posted by herself. Instead of calling Aimee about it, she retreats to her files to be emo???
Whatever. Aimee will be calling to yell at you in like 2 minutes anyway.

Aimee and Madison have a fight. Aimee drags up stuff from the past, about all the times Madison has lied (she's only lied once). Aimee sort of sucks.

Lol.
As Aimee's leaving, she turns around and screams, "THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!"

Egg thinks Fiona is stupid for being mad at Madison.
Go Egg!

Ivy gets "gravity" and "relativity" mixed up.
.....

Heh. Ivy and Madison have to do a science project together...and Madison makes Ivy do all the work. Payback.

Ivy: What did you find in the back?
Madison: No much. We should do more research upstairs in the media center, thought. Can you go look after school?
Ivy: Me? Why don't you go look after school.
Madison: I have an after-school conflict today.
Ivy: Well, I have a conflict, too. Like, I don't do science work after school. That's my conflict.
Madison: Maybe we should each write our own paper. I can ask Mr. Danehy if we can split-
Ivy: NO! Okay, I'll look in the media center. Don't throw a hissy about it. Gosh, you always overreact. What a drama queen.
GO MADISON!!

Mr. Danehy gives Ivy an F!!
Today is not Ivy's day.

Ugh, I hate it when people read over my shoulder!!!
Lance is a creepy kid.

Mrs. Wing brings her baby Phoebe to school.

Lance: My cousin had a big, fatso baby. He was so huge, he looked like he was stuffed.
Thanks, Lance.

Boys like babies, too.

It seems like Bigwheels is always either sick or grounded.
"SORRY I wasn't on my computer, but I was SICK and GROUNDED at the SAME TIME."

"Friends are forever, boys are whatever!"
What if all your friends are boys??

Madison wants revenge.
Noooo, don't do it, Madison! Revenge is never the answer!!

Madison writes a post about Ivy.
Posted by: MF13
Date: 11 Nov
Message: More big newz @ FHJH this time its I.D. in trouble wow is she ever. The WITCH is failing science. Yeah I.D. begged Mr. D. to pass her but he said no way so now the school is planning to EXPEL her...it is soooo bad Not only that but I heard that NO other school in the district wants to accept her b/c she has no real friends n e way LOL in fact there r no guys who will even look @ her b/c she dresses

That's as far as she gets before she accidentally publishes it.
Okay, who would even believe that? The part about having no friends and being a slut is pretty mean, but she wouldn't get EXPELLED for failing science.
Duh. Summer school.

Madison has become a pathological liar.

The bulletin won't be removed for 24 hours.
You sort of deserve it, Madison.
Revenge is never the answer.

"Now...Ivy will probably read what I posted and...she'll hate me forever and..."
"Wait just a minute, Maddie. I thought you and Ivy weren't friends anymore anyway."
Yeah!! What do you care what she thinks??
Shouldn't you be more worried about hurting her feelings than how she'll think of you? Because I'm pretty sure she already hates you.

Madison: Why are parents always right? And why am I always wrong?
Trust me, honey. Parents are NOT always right.

Lol, her dad is so delightfully evil.
"You're kidding! Oh, Maddie, you are most definitely going to tell your mother everything, from the beinning. We had a deal."
That's like on "Dan in Real Life".
"So Marty can stay?"
"*hysterical laughter* Marty can STAY???"

Madison can never go on The Wall again.
She is officially Off the Wall (that's where the title comes in).
Wait, MF13 is the one who's not allowed on the wall.
Madison could just create a new screename and go on whenever she wanted.

WtH???????
Lindsay, Aimee, and Fiona came over to apologize.
Why the sudden epiphany??
And why is Lindsay apologizing, too???
Madison had nothing to do with her Fat Camp thing!!! Lindsay probably didn't even know about the whole fight until now.
WHAT IS SHE DOING THERE??

It turns out Ivy told Hart she was MF13, and Hart told Chet who told Fiona.

Boys aren't the only shallow ones.
Such as girl on basketball team??
"Lauren, you'd be really pretty if you did this to your hair."
Um...thanks.

NICE!!! Madison's mom took away her laptop and is keeping it under lock and key in her desk drawer!!! Madison can only use it for one hour each day to check her e-mail!!
Finally! Good parenting!

Madison is super mean to Lance...even if he is a nerd.
Madison: I'm outta here.
Lance: But I just got here.
Madison: So? See you in class tomorrow.
Duh, Lance, you're the reason she's leaving.

Ivy: I'm never going to forget, you know.
Madison: Elephants never forget.
Ivy: Who are you calling.... OOOOOH! You think you're sooooo smart, don't you?
Madison just smiles and walks away.
The one time turning the other cheek actually WORKED.

Bigwheels is grounded because she told some kids a scary story.
Whatever. I bet it was the one about the finger.

Ew, I hate youngest children.

Madison's Computer Tip:
Beware of online gossip.

Truer words were never spoken.
I just read the last 2 Pony Pals books, and they were surprisingly enjoyable and kind of sad. Lulu's dad SUCKS; he's probably the worst father ever. So does Mrs. Crandal. It's like good parents don't EXIST in Wiggins. But that's all tomorrow; I have stuff to do.

Love means never having to say you're sorry, or FTFO Madison Finn #11: Heart to Heart

AAAAAAAAGH! This one is SOOO SAD. It's mostly about 7th grade relationships and unrequited love. Seriously, it's the saddest thing in the world. I started crying in some spots, it's really sad.



Plot: Valentine's Day is coming up, and Far Hills Junior High is holding Valentine-themed dance! All the girls are freaking out.
Madison is excited, too, but feels left out. Her keypal Bigwheels just got a new boyfriend. Phin is in love with a golden retriever who just moved in down the street. Fiona and Egg are going out now, and there's a rumor that Hart and Ivy are more than "just good friends".
One day, Madison gets an e-mail from someone called Orange Crush...who appears to have a crush on her.
NO WAY!!!
Orange Crush starts stuffing love notes in her locker and sending her chocolate roses through the mail. He even writes her a poem - it's pretty cute.
Madison makes a list of all the boys she knows and, using her mad detective skills, decides it's Hart Jones, her one true love! It just HAS to be.
It's the night of the dance. Madison has a dress, a tiara, and new shoes. Orange Crush sends her 15 carnations and promises all will be revealed at the dance. She asks Drew if he happened to be her "one true love", but he admits that although he likes her (DUH), he wasn't her secret admirer. Things are way awkward for a little while, but Drew and Madison remain friends.
Finally, Dan comes over and makes some pretty obvious hints about his secret life as Orange Crush.
Madison, shocked and disappointed, runs out of the room.
Crying.
Her mom comes outside, where it happens to be SNOWING (aah, so cold!), and comforts Madison. Madison admits she was shocked about Dan being her secret admirer, but doesn't want to face him again because he must surely hate her now.
Well, yeah, Maddie, you sort of ran away crying when he told you he loved you.
But Frannie Finn, in a rare moment of good parenting and smart advice, tells her to go apologize.
Madison runs back into the building and asks Dan to forgive her. He does so, willingly, and the two agree to be friends. Then, because she sort of ruined the dance for him, Madison asks Dan to dance.
It makes Dan happy...
...and Hart jealous.
Awwwwwww....

More notes:
I think this is my favorite book so far.

Madison meets a cute new neighbor named Toby. Oooh.
Toby: Do you go to Far Hills High? I start there tomorrow, and I don't know anyone.
Madison: High school? Uh, no...No. I'm in middle school. Seventh grade, actually.
Toby: Oh, wow.
Yeah. Wow. Lol.

That sort of killed the mood.

Gasp! Phin just cheated on Blossom, Aimee's dog!

Huh, Madison's star sign is Pisces. I wonder when her birthday is. I can't remember her ever having an actual birthday in the series.

Somewhere between March 15 and April 14. Hey, her birthday might be this month!

Her horoscope reads:
Love is in the air! But winds that blow in your direction are not from familiar corners. Keep your eyes wide open. Romance will sneak up on you when you least expect it.
Heh. Mine told me to mosey on home yesterday. Which is where I've been for the past week. So I sort of think the whole astrology thing is a bunch of crap.

Oh no, Bigwheels is in love with a boy named Reggie. He has black hair and hazel eyes. Sounds...Mediterranean.

He just randomly asked her to the Valentine's dance.

Bigwheels wonders if she should play it cool. DO NOT PLAY HARD TO GET!!! Worst idea in the world. Just saying.

From: Orange Crush
To: MadFinn
Subject:
Date: Sun 2 Feb 5:13 PM

I've got a crush on u.

Your Secret Admirer.

Okay, I'm sort of creeped out now, what about you guys?

Aimee thinks it might be Egg, and Fiona FLIPS OUT.
"Aimee, you don't really think the secret e-mail is from Walter, do you? I mean - Walter doesn't like Madison, right? That was just a joke. You're joking, right?"
Dang.

I'm surprised Aimee and Fiona don't know about Madison's crush on Hart by now.
Aimee: Who are the prime suspects? Hart Jones?
Madison: H-H-Hart?

Heh. Ivy tries to act flirty.
"Ta-ta! I hope I'll see you there!"
Ta-ta? Ta-ta??? Jolly good, my dear, that does sound positively brilliant! Superb! Capital idea!

Hart: Well, I already know who I want to go with.
Madison: *Could he mean me?*
Hart: I WANNA GO WITH EGG!
Ugh, 7th grade boy humor.

Dad takes Madison and Stephanie to dinner. He's about to have a mariachi band serenade them all, so Madison PRETENDS TO BE SICK! Wth, what's wrong with you, Madison? It's just a mariachi band!

Aimee, Fiona, and Ivy claim to have been in love by now. Riiiiiiiiiiight.

Ooh, Reggie sounds like a dream date! He's cute, funny, and smart, and he makes Bigwheels laff like a lolcat!
Did I tell you she met him at math club? I bet he tucks his shirt into his pants.

"She hurried to her dresser and pulled out a pair of heavy black leggings and soft red sweater."
Sounds very Babysitters club.

Ivy's insults still suck.
Madison: *misses a shot into the garbage can*
Ivy: Nice shot, Maddie! You should go out for baskteball.
Ooh, burn.

Agh, another creepy card!
U have a good heart.
Signed, Your Secret Admirer

Code for, "You have nice boobs?"

They make a big deal about a "special" English project on the back of the book, but all they have to do is write about someone from the American Revolution.

So Dan's trying to tell Madison about a llama named Gertrude, and she's busy checking out Hart.
Hahaha, sooooo guilty of this myself.

"Who can think about homework when there's a school dance coming up?"
Some of us manage to do it, Aimee. You're obviously not in honors English.

Ugh, lame. Egg and Fiona reveal their true feelings to each other...ON INSTA-MESSAGE. That is so lame.
: I love you.
: Me 2.
: Sooo
: Sooo
: C u Monday!
: ok c u l8r g8r
That wasn't in the book, but I'm guessing that's what happened.

They decide to prank call boys and giggle. Sounds...fun.

"Take a look at suspects. Who would have access to red construction paper?"
Yeah, THAT narrows it down.

"It seems like anytime I like a boy, he likes someone else. Or else he ignores me. The 'good' thing always seems to happen for girls like Ivy."
Awww, amen to that.

: Hi. I see U R online.
: WHO R U???
: Someone who likes U. :>)
: Is this a joke?
: No.
: Then tell me who U R!!
: MWBRL. Got 2 go.
MWBRL = more will be revealed later.
Aaagh, I'm imagining Anthony Hopkins from "Silence of the Lambs".

Madison makes a list of things she needs to buy before the dance. Crap, I forgot about choosing a hairstyle...and learning how to dance, lol.

Fiona and Egg go on a date...and invite all their friends along. Fun?

Madison ends up buying a sea-blue dress with black trim, long bell sleeves, and a scoop neck. I'm having a really hard time picturing sleeves that are both long and bell-like.

IT WAS ONLY $52.50!!

Lame. Hart ditches them to go sit with Ivy.

Ugh, they make a big deal about Dan being fat in this one.
"He'd loaded up his tray with two hamburgers, a super-size container of fries, and a large drink."
That's not actually not that much. My older brother eats that much. I eat that much.

There's this whole thing about Dan standing up for his musical beliefs. So random.

Another book where Aimee forgets she has FOUR brothers, not THREE.

Ew, Fiona and Egg are all weird and couply, sharing ice cream cones and whatnot.

Oh no, Madison's dad was in a jewelry store! HE MUST BE PROPOSING TO STEPHANIE!
Or maybe he's buying her one of those Kay heart pendants.

REGGIE BOUGHT BIGWHEELS ONE OF THOSE HEART PENDANTS!!!

While talking to Chet, Madison insults Hart, not realizing he's on the other line. Nice.

Aw, Orange Crush sends her a chocolate rose. Anybody who sends you chocolate is a nice person.

OH NO! Madison thinks she knows FOR SURE that her secret admirer is Hart...AND SHE PLANS TO TELL HIM HOW SHE REALLY FEELS! DON'T DO IT, MADDIE! DANGER AHEAD!

Aimee: There's a 20% chance Drew is your crusher.
Madison: Twenty percent? What makes you say that?
Aimee: I think it's possible that he's the one, but here are some complications. I mean, he's too obvious. Everyone knows he likes you...
Madison: What do you mean, 'everyone knows'?
Um, he sort of stalks you and asks you to go to Switzerland and stuff. Pretty dang obvious.

SO MEAN!
Aimee: Dan is a nice guy and all that, but I don't think it's him. I mean, he cares way more about french fries and chocolate-chip cookies than girls, right?
Holy crap, WHO SAYS THINGS LIKE THAT?

Phin hurts his paw, and Madison freaks out. "EMERGENCY!!!"

Awkward dialogue that sort of made me cry:
Madison: I wanted to know if you are going to the Heart to Heart dance. Are you?
Dan: Yeah, I think I'm giong. Why...are you asking me or something?
Madison: Um...not exactly.
Dan: Um...I was just kidding.
Madison: But I am going to the dance. Even with no date. Do you know anyone else who's going? Or someone who wants to go with someone, but is maybe too shy or... I shouldn't be asking you this. Sorry.
Dan: I haven't really asked around. I can, if you want.
Madison: No, that's okay. I didn't mean to say all that. I feel pretty stupid.

Agh, she has NO IDEA!!!

Aw, Orange Crush writes her an adorable poem.
I am not a poet
And I truly know it
But I think you're really cool
So I thought I'd show it
(I hope this goofy rhyme of mine
Doesn't totally blow it!)

signed, Your Secret Admirer

Hart says hi...and Madison runs away. Maybe that's the reason he likes Ivy so much, Maddie.

Oh no. Oooooh no. Drew has just offered to walk her to class.
Y'all remember Drew, right? Rich, Hart's second cousin, totally stalker-y?

OH NO, HE ASKS HER TO THE DANCE!!!!
Madison: I don't think I can go. No, I definitely can't.
Drew: No? So. You're not going to the dance?
Madison: Not exactly.
Drew: Oh, I get it. You're just not going with me.
Madison: I'm sorry. It's just that I already promised someone else- I'm really, really, REALLY sorry.
Drew: I understand.
Omg, this is one of the parts where I started crying. Not only does she say no, but she LIES about why she can't go. Drew practically started crying, too.

Egg sends her an angry e-mail. She so deserved it.

From: Eggaway
To: MadFinn
Subject: no subject
Date: Tues 11 Feb 3:29 PM
I can't blieve you totally hurt Drew's feeling's like that. dont you know how hard it was for him to ask you to the dance? dont you get it? Drew is a relly good guy, Maddie. I don't know what your problem is. You can't just do that to people.

Egg

PS: So ur going to the dance with someone else? IYD. I don't believe it. And Drew doesnt, either.

Frannie thinks Drew will ask Madison out again.
Psh, not after she ripped his heart out like she did. I think Drew will never love again.

Even anorexia-loving Aimee has a date! True, it's Ben Buckley, but still, a guy asked her.
Maddie has no one.
She could have had stalker-Drew....

Rules for the Heart to Heart Dance:
1. Dance open only to Far Hills Junior High students.
[Heh. My school totally doesn't follow that rule. You can't exactly crash it, but if you have a ticket and a date who's a ninth grader, you're in.]

2. To attend dance, students must have a school dance ticket listing phone number where parents can be reached.
[In case someone dies in a horrible punch spiking accident.]

3. Students may not leave the dance area to go elsewhere, including school classrooms.
[Madison wonders why anyone would want to go to an empty classroom. Aimee says it for her: "No - to go make out!" Or to make a science experiment...without the Bunsen burner. ^_^]

There are a billion more rules, but none of them are quite as entertaining.

Okay, I was wrong.
8. Students are expected to keep the hallways and dance areas free and clear of all wrappers and cups. Keep snacks in the snack zone.
Madison: The snack zone? What's that?
Aimee: It sounds like a made-for-TV movie.
Fiona: When good snacks go bad.

Also, students aren't allowed to wear halter tops to the dance! Since when is there a dress code? And if that's the case, I wouldn't be able to go!!

Fiona: The DJ at my old school was always so lame. Half of the songs he played were country and western.
Aimee: That definitely won't be happening this time. The DJ they hired plays mostly hip-hop and pop, with a little rock thrown in.
:P The DJ at my school always plays hip-hop and NOTHING ELSE. Gets sort of old after a while.

Aw, Fiona and Aimee decide to meet their dates at the dance so they can go with Maddie. That's really nice.

Madison buys a tiara to go with her dress. Jealous.

When Madison saw her dad at the jewelry store, he was getting cuff links engraved for one of his favorite MALE clients. Sooooo what...Jeffery Finn is gay?

Heh, he buys Madison a stuffed pug that says, "I woof u."

Bigwheels is really obsessed with Reggie. Ugh, is everybody wearing a red velvet dress to their Valentine's Day dance? So much for variety.

Agh, Madison freaks out at Bigwheels when she mentions Reggie in an online chat. PMS much? Although, Bigwheels was being pretty annoying. "Omg, I have the funniest story-" "Is it about Reggie?" "Yeah, how'd you know?"

Ew, sappy John Keats poetry. "I cannot exist without you. I am forgetful of every thing but seeing you again. My life seems to stop there. I see no further."
Stalker.

Dan: Hey, look, it's Aimee - and an orange camel!
I think that was a reference to Madison's overstuffed backpack. Lame joke, Dan.

This outfit sounds cute until we get to the red heart pin:
"Madison had on her favorite jeans and a black turtleneck sweater. Mom loaned her a big, red heart pin, which she had attached to the sweater."
Sounds 80's.

Drew buys everyone's tickets, because it was cheaper for 4 sets of two! He even buys Madison's ticket!! That's so nice!

HART IS GOING WITH IVY!!! Maybe you shouldn't have run away from him, Maddie.

Madison gets a balloon from her secret admirer:
You've got my heart on a string.
Tonight all will be revealed.
signed, Your Secret Admirer.

Hart delivered the balloon to her, so she thinks he's the SA, he's just not owning up to it.

Even Lindsay Frost is wearing a red velvet dress. Wth, the book says she has blonde hair? Have you seen the cover of "All That Glitters"? Her hair is definitely brown.

"Fiona looked great in a hot-pink tank paired with a bright orange skirt. Both were made of raw silk, and shimmered slightly under the lights."
Sounds cute. I saw a dress like that at the mall.

Aw, Orange Crush gives her 15 carnations.

"'I think I want to get some punch. Want some, Aimee?'
'Sure thing,' Aimee said, beaming. She'd worn her favorite pink slip dress and shimmery stockings. Her hair was braided and piled on top of her head."
Sounds kind of cute. Really ballerina-y, but cute.

Lindsay is in love with Dan. Wth? Didn't that Suresh guy ask her out? Why isn't she dancing with him?

Heh, Fiona is taller than Egg.

Hart is just about to ask Madison to dance...when Drew and Chet run over with gossip that a 7th grader and a 9th grader have been found making out IN THE SCIENCE LAB! THEY WERE TOTALLY MAKING AN EXPERIMENT W/0 THE BUNSEN BURNER!!!

Aaagh, Joan Kenyon's mom catches them. Aaaaawkwaaaard.

Aimee: What's this about a seventh grader getting caught with a ninth grader?
Madison: You know as much as we do.
Ben: I heard that the guy had his shirt off.
Madison: Okay, you know more than we do. What were they doing? [What do you think?]
Ben: Kissing. I heard that the girl's hair was all messed up.
Hart: That doesn't sound like such a big deal.
Really, Hart? Sounds like you've done it before.

Oh no, Madison's about to confront Drew!!! She thinks he's Orange Crush!!

Madison: Hey, having fun?
Drew: Yeah. That's a nice dress you have on.
Madison: Thanks. I liked your flowers, too.
Drew: Flowers? Oh - you mean these? *holds out tie, which is covered in bright splotches of color* I think they're just blobs, actually.
Madison: Oh. Well, not exactly. Look, Drew, there's something I've been wanting to say to you.
Drew: Yeah?
Madison: I'm really sorry about the way I acted - when you asked me to the dance.
Drew: Oh, that. No biggie. I'm over it. We're friends again. That's cool.
I like how he totally forgave her. Sort of. Things are still pretty awkward.

Orange Crush is Dan!!!

And Madison runs out of the room crying.

Her mom comes out to comfort her and tells her that Dan is still her friend and that Madison should apologize so that they can continue being friends.
Huh. Thanks Fran. That's actually some good advice...for once.

Here we go. The big scene:
Madison: Dan. Wait. Dan, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to flip out. It's just that - you caught me by surprise. I mean, looking back on it, I guess I should have known that Orange Crush was you, but I didn't, and then when you said that it was you, I was just like, "Wow, I had no clue," and...and...and this is the part where you stop me from babbling. Please. Say something. Say anything.
Drew: I didn't mean to get you angry or sad. I'm really sorry if I embarassed you.
Madison: No, no. I'm sorry. It's not you. It's just that - I can't deal with this whole boyfriend thing right now.
[And also, you don't actually have any feelings for Dan, because you like Hart, but hey.]
Madison: I really like you, Dan.
Dan: But as a friend. Right?
Madison: Yeah. A good friend.
Dan: As a friend. Well, that's cool.
Madison: Cool?
Dan: It's cooler than cool. We have a lot in common, you know?
Madison: Like the animal shelter?
Dan: And - you know - we both like peanut butter.
Madison: And pizza.
Dan: Yeah. Tons of stuff in common. I just wanted to do something nice for you. You deserve it.
Madison: You're the best.
AWWWWWWWWW. This seriously made me cry!!! Dan is so nice about her ripping his heart out and tossing it across the floor. And they're still friends!!! What a concept!!!

So Madison asks him to dance with her, and he accepts.

"I want the chocolate rose back." "Oh no, I already ate it!"

Hart kept staring jealously over at Madison while they danced. Okay, I personally think she should've gone out with Dan. Hart is a major loser.

The moral is: Romance is nice, but friendship is more important.

The moral also is: Madison's Computer Tip: If you are getting e-mails from strangers, you should hit DELETE and tell your parents.

Ah yes, good morals.
So there will be Avalons and Madison Finns galore. Hopefully #12 is coming soon, too. *sniff* That was a good one.