Somebody's getting married! Part #3

I started this on the 19th!!! Sorry, I've been so busy!!!

Plot: It's the day of the wedding.
MADISON STILL HASN'T FINISHED THE COLLAGE!
She wakes up at 3 AM and manages to finish the thing AND write a really excellent poem in 2 short hours.
Tiffany comes by to pick her up, and finds Madison undressed (not naked, just in her pajamas).
Madison is worried her snobby cousin will make fun of her orange dress, but not only does Tiffany love the dress, but she turns out to be really nice, just overbearing and chatty.
It's time for the wedding. Madison gets through her Shakespeare reading without incident, and neither Jeff nor Stephanie runs away in tears. They stumble through the vows and become Mr. and Mrs. Jeffery Finn.
Yay, Madison and her dad are still super close.
Oh, and he loves the wedding present, as does Stephanie.
Madison returns home, where she finally reveals to Aimee and Fiona that she likes Hart.
Weee, how anticlimactic.

More notes:
Madison doesn't want the wedding to happen, because her future step-grandma is a witch, there are bad omens all around, and she wants her parents to get back together.

Bigwheels says, "I bet ur the prettiest girl there."
....
Maybe Bigwheels doesn't like Reggie (or boys) as much as she thought she did....

AAARGH! Aimee sends another e-mail, and it still sounds like she's blaming Madison for Fiona's problems. But then Aimee admits to not doing anything to make Fiona better, and claims it's because Madison's not there, and they have to do it together or whatever.
Ugh, I hate Aimee SOOO much.

Lame. Hart e-mails Madison about a BBQ at his house when he knows she'll be in Texas then. You suck, Hart.

Dad: In ten hours, I will marry Stephanie, and more than anything else on the planet, I want you to be okay with it.
Madison: I told you a zillion times, Dad, I'm okay with it.
Dad: I believed you before. I'm not so sure anymore.
Madison: Why can't you believe me now? I can't believe you don't believe that I believe....
:? What?

"Are you really marrying Stephanie tomorrow? But her family is so weird. And she's so...neurotic. She practically bawled her eyes out that night in here with me."
That's a good reason not to marry someone. They had a bad day. -_-

"Madison had totally lied to Dad. Of course she knew about love. After all, that was really the only thing that explained how she felt about Hart Jones."
Don't believe the hype, Maddie. That's not love.

Don't you hate it when you wake up at 3 AM and remember you didn't do something important?

....
The time suddenly jumps from 5:30 to 6:30, then from 6:30 to 7:30.
WHERE DID THOSE TWO HOURS GO?

Argh...just...divorce is never a good thing!

Aimee's shame game worked!!!

Tiffany is so Sandy from Spongebob Squarepants!!
"Aw, jeepers! You're not even ready yet!"

Oh no...Madison has doubts about her orangey-orange dress! Tiffany's all, "Sounds...*cough cough* butt ugly! *cough cough*"

"Madison could almost feel the blood drain from her face. Panicked thoughts zipped through her head like little fireflies. She had a vision of herself walking up to the wedding ceremony at the Wolfe Ranch. There, a burly cowboy bouncer would greet her.
'Hey, you in the orange dress!' he would exclaim, readying his lasso to rope Madison like loose cattle. 'No orange allowed at this hoedown!'"

Argh. I hate zits that get bigger when you pop them.
That's what Madison has.

Tiffany is a brat because...Wanda is abusive??

Tiffany and Madison bond over ping-pong. Tiffany says she LIKES the orange dress!

She even offers to go back to her house to get an orange hairclip that would go perfectly with Madison's dress!!!

Tiffany sculpts Madison's hair into the wonder it is on the cover. Hm.

OMG, THERE ARE PONY RIDES AT STEPHANIE'S WEDDING!

Okay, weird. Kirk thinks Madison looks pretty.
Isn't she his new step-cousin thing?

Madison reads a cool beans Shakespeare sonnet at the wedding.

Jeff and Stephanie mess up the vows.
"I, Jeffrey Peter Finn, take thee, Stephanie Mae Wolfe, to be my lawful wedded husband...I mean, awful wedded wife...I mean...lawful...wedded...wife."
That would be a tad embarassing.

Madison spontaneously decides to hug Kirk.
Which TOTALLY weirds him out.
So Maddie decides not to make anymore romantic endeavors in the near future.

Stephanie almost married a guy named Bob.
But she called if off.

Madison dances with Kirk. He's not very good and they're related...but she got to dance with a boy.

You're never too old for a pony ride!

Madison twists her ankle while resisting a square dance with her dad.
So much for that.

"Loooove, soft as an easy chair...Loooove, fresh as the morning air..."
Sounds like the stuff they play on 106.9.

"Madison was thinking about love, too.
Back home - where her Hart was."
-_-

"There is nothing more romantic than forever, is there? Like, 'I will love you forever and ever into infinity, my darling Madison.'"
Actually, if any boy said that to me, I'd punch him in the face.
And not because my name isn't Madison.
Wow, that would suck, wouldn't it? "I'm in love with you, Mia...I mean, Lauren."
Who's Mia???

Stephanie and Jeff buy her a locket with picture of all of them at the beach.
This book actually came with a locket...that I lost. :( It was cheap, anyway.

Madison fixed the poem:
Your wedding is a special day
I'm sure you will be feeling good in every way
The sun is shining bright on your faces
Of course there is no one who can take your places
At first I thought this wedding would be weird
And that was just the start of what I feared
I know you're happy and I'm happy too
But I wondered what would happen with you two
And then I realized you will still be there
You will always listen and you will always care.
I know that sometime's I'm hard for Dad to take
Like when he says, "Maddie, give me a break."
Plus I have one mom and never had another
I'm not sure I know how to have a stepmother
I want our family to be complete and real
I want you both to know just how I feel.
You take care of me and let me share your life
Dad, I'm so glad you picked Stephanie for you wife
I hope that I will be a good part of the deal
I want you both to know just how I feel.
I wish you the best happy wedding time
Thanks for including me even though I can't really rhyme.

That sounds like something off Veggietales...or the Hallmark Channel.

Stephanie loves it and starts crying. Definitely Hallmark Channel.

Group hug!!!

"I've been obsessing about Hart again for some reason. I even had a dream about him last night! He was riding in this carriage and carrying flowers and candles. Don't ask."
Don't worry. I won't.
Though I vaguely remember some of my own obsessive dreams...involving the army...and Wild Waves!

Madison finally fesses up about her crush on Hart!!!
So, naturally, Aimee tells the whole world.

NO WAY. Jeff is letting Tiffany and her friends hang out with Madison in her hotel room, and they can watch whatever movies they want (they got the "R" route, because they're so devious) and order as much room service as they want!!! Dang!

I hate it when they're like, "The plane is beginning it's descent," and it takes another HALF HOUR.
Four hour flight from Chicago to Georgia! Whoo!

No more lost bags! No more lost bags!
Success! Madison's bag returns to New York with her!

Jeff orders a LIMOUSINE to take Madison home!!! It's like...4 miles!!!

Ha ha. A hilarious misunderstanding between Madison, Aimee, and Mom.
"I thought you liked Drew! Or maybe it was Dan. I can't remember."
"Pork-O!!? I thought you liked Hart? When did you like Dan? I know he likes you!"
Madison apparently didn't know Dan liked her...
...even though he practically STALKED HER in #11.

Home again. Home again. Stuff like that.

Madison's Computer Tip:
Use a laptop to keep a travel diary.

Okay. Phew. I'll do #16 tomorrow and maybe read some more later.

Somebody's getting married! Part #2

All right! Our Super Special continues!!

Plot: Madison just arrived in Texas, sans suitcase, and was forced to attend a welcome party thrown by Stephanie's family. All of Stephanie's relatives are overbearing and it's too hot outside to even think. Madison has a panic attack, and her dad disapproves of all the guests - he'd been under the impression it would be a SMALL wedding.
They get back to the hotel and Madison promises to make more of an effort to make friends.
The next day, at the rehearsal dinner, she meets Kirk (Stephanie's sexy nephew, whom she'd tried to hook Madison up with in #15) and Tiffany, a total Ivy clone!!
Now Stephanie and Dad are fighting!!
It's the day before the wedding, and Madison just wants to finish her wedding collage.
Then she receives news from home - Fiona's dad had a heart attack!!
Madison feels like a horrible friend.
Will our heroine be able to finish the collage with all this commotion?

More notes:
They meet a cowboy on the street...and he's Stephanie's cousin Tony!
How positively random.

Stephanie's dad's name is Wally.
!!!!
That's my grandpa's name!!

Why is corn chips and salsa considered a Texas-style snack?? I know SOO many Washingtonians who eat that all the time.

Madison sees a "really hot" boy. He says, "hi," grabs some chips...and walks away.

Madison has a conversation with her dad that sounds a LOT like a conversation I might have with my dad.
No need to elaborate on that.

Dad wants her to mingle with the other kids.
Kids? KIDS? "I'd would rather be with you, Dad."

Look on the bright side, Maddie: Your suitcase has arrived!!

There's nothing better than being sweaty and changing into clean, glorious clothes.

Whoa, random. Stephanie comes into her room sobbing.
Awkward....

Stephanie: I hope you know you can tell me anything.
Madison: Can I tell you that you make me nervous sometimes and that I think you try too hard and that I really, really, really don't want you to marry my dad?
Don't worry. She doesn't actually say any of that outloud.

"Stephanie and Dad disappeared throught the divider door, locking it behind them with a loud click."
Uh oh. They obviously want to be alone....

???
Fiona's dress is a perfect fit.
I guess they aren't as different as I thought.

Madison meets Stephanie's sister, Wanda, and Wanda is described as having big hair that looks pink.
I keep picturing cotton candy.

Ha ha ha.
It turns out Kirk, the "nerdy" nephew Madison so did not want to meet, is eXtReMeLy hot.

He's cuter than Hart?? Whoa, Madison has it bad.

Apparently everyone eats steak for breakfast in Texas.
Especially Kirk, whose family raises their own cattle. They have steak at every meal.

WHOA.
Jeff loves beef.
Frannie is VEGETARIAN.
Now WONDER their marriage didn't work out.

Madison decides to ditch her new "aunts" to go to the hotel by pretending to be sick.
Works every time.

:O FIONA'S DAD IS IN THE HOSPITAL. HE HAD A HEART ATTACK.

Aimee is the one who sends the e-mail, and she makes Madison feel all guilty, like she SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE.
She says stuff about how if Madison were there, they could cheer Fiona up like REAL friends.
Shut up, Aimee. Go cheer her up yourself.

Kirk doesn't sound that cute.
He's tall with brownish blond hair, cool clothes, and a cute accent.

Her friends start to accuse her of liking Hart...so, to change the subject, she's like, "Wait, did I tell you Kirk asked me to dance with him at the wedding?"
That's basically a confession right there.

Bigwheels talks about getting her own laptop.
Doesn't she already have her own computer???
And didn't she get a new one 100 pages ago???
Whatever. I'm lost.

Oh no, Wanda's car broke down!
Madison's like, "That's too bad...do I still have to go to the tea party?"
Ha.
But she still has to go. Darn.

"I have only been to one tea party in my life, in second grade, and there were dolls involved."
ME TOO!!

"Who wants a piece of paper with pictures and words stuck to it when you can have a life-size crystal collie or a complete set of silver serving pieces with little lassos on the end?"
Good question.

UGH! I hate it when parents badmouth someone, but then get mad when YOU badmouth them.

Okay, most guys are obsessed with food. I wish they would stop relating any guy who eats food to Dan "Porko" Ginsburg.

"Tiffany continued with her incessant chatter. Why wasn't anyone telling her to shut up? Madison wanted to thump Miss Texas Poison Ivy on the back and say, 'Um...clue phone, it's for you! You're not supposed to be talking now! Hello?'"
Seriously, who talks during a wedding rehearsal. I wish Madison had actually done that.

Stephanie's mom has OCD. "THE POSITION OF THE ALTAR IS ALL WRONG!"

Madison: This isn't what weddings are supposed to be like. Where is everyone going?
Kirk: Hey, at least the food is good.
Are...you...kidding me?
Typical guy behavior.

Yay, Assertive Madison sticks up for herself!

A small nose pimple??? Please. At least it's not in the middle of your forehead.

I picture Tiffany talking like Sandy Cheeks from "Spongebob Squarepants".

"As you can see, I'm a little outnumbered in the guest department. But my daughter, Maddie, makes up for all of it. She's watching over me."
Aaagh. I'd be embarassed.
Madison's totally fine, though.

Ooooh. Madison and her dad have this intimate Father-Daughter dance.
If only my dad wasn't afraid of physical touch.

To be continued....

Somebody's getting married! Part #1

Our first Madison Finn Super Special! And this one truly is SUPER special: it's more than 300 pages, which is 3 TIMES as long as the average Pony Pals Super Special.
Beat that, Jeanne Betancourt.



Plot: Well, you knew it was coming. Madison's dad (Jeff) and his girlfriend Stephanie are getting married!!! In two weeks!!! In Texas!!! And they want Madison to be the junior bridesmaid!!!
Can I get a, "Yeee-haaw,"?
Madison has a whole BUNCH of conflicting emotions.
Stephanie not only wants her to be a bridesmaid and wear a TON of fancy clothes to all the parties her mother has planned, but wants her also to read one of Shakespeare's sonnets.
Hm. I wonder if it was one of the procreation sonnets.
No, really, I do.
But seriously. Madison? Stuttering stage-fright run-from-conflict Madison? You want HER to read a sonnet at your WEDDING?
Whatever. Your funeral.
Madison is SCAREDER THAN SCARED!!
So far, she's just arrived in Texas, and her suitcase is somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin!!! With no dress, no laptop, and no wedding gift in sight (she's trying to write a poem with no luck), what will our heroine do????
You'll find out later.
Most of this novel is actually just filler. She doesn't leave for Texas until page...90 or so.
To be continued...

More notes:
Before you tell your kids some big news, it's always good to SUCK UP to them and be REALLY obvious that something's on your mind.

They're getting married in two weeks???
To cope, Madison orders three pieces of chocolate cake.
That's my girl.

Madison's like, "Why are you marrying Stephanie, you just ditched my mom?"
A year IS pretty soon, I guess. Because, in Madison Finnland, time stopped right before 7th grade started, so it's always a year since the Big-D.
Which is weird, because if that's true, he met Stephanie like RIGHT AFTER the divorce, if they've been dating a while.
Sorry. Concrete random.

Stephanie almost got married once...but called it off. UH OH.

Yeah, Frannie (Madison's mom) knew, and she decided not to say anything?
And she's totally fine with the whole thing?
Hello, you were once MARRIED to this man! You once had SEX with this man! You have a DAUGHTER with this man?
Doesn't it bother you?

She is a little bothered by the two week notice.

Madison, like Anna Harley, RESISTS CHANGE.

The wedding invitation says, "Regrets Only."
Uh oh.
Madison has some regrets she'd like to share with the class.

Madison: At the end of the invite there's this line "regrets only" and I wanted to call him up and shout I HAVE REGRETS, DAD! DON'T DO IT!!!

Didn't Bigwheels get another kitten in the last book? Madison's just NOW addressing this?

Whaaat? Bigwheels spent all of #11 claiming she was in love with Reggie.
LIES!

What's wrong with dressing casual?
In Laurenland, it's casual Friday EVERY day!

How are Egg and Fiona still only "sort of" going out? Didn't he ask her out on a REAL DATE, where they HELD HANDS at the MOVIES? That's pretty serious.
Hehehe. He calls her "Fee" and she calls him "Walter".

Drew: *little rich boy* Cool, huh? *points to a row of golden torches* Mom got them shipped here from Samoa or something.
Aimee: Come on! You can get those at the home decorating store in downtown Far Hills for five bucks!
Drew: Really? Well, they're cool, anyhow.

Drew has a GIRLFRIEND.
I KNOW!!!
This is Stalker Drew who followed Maddie everywhere and asked her to the Heart to Heart Dance!!
I know he had to get over it sometime, but still, this is quite a blow.
I've been in a similar situation.
Maddie's all, "Wtf, I thought you liked me!"

Heheh, junior high girls.
"Look, over there! I think that's Ben! Over by the torch! *runs away*"
Hehe. I had a friend be like, "Omg, So-and-so complimented me! But I only like him a little bit."
....

Fiona, you hypocrite.
"I can't believe she acts that way around him."
Um...ahem? You and EGG?

Awkward. Madison has to go to dinner with Dad and Stephanie.
And it seems they REALLY want to be alone.

Everyone's crying and getting sappy.
Ooookaaay.

HA!
Stephanie: Maddie, in addition to the poem, I wanted to ask you if you would...oh...How do I say this? Jeff, help me out here.
Dad: What Stephanie is trying to say, Maddie, is will you stand up for her at the wedding?
Madison: I know, I just said I would stand up for her. I'll read the poem. I assumed that I would be standing up to do it...
HAHAHAHA! Oh, Madison, you crack me up.
Actually, I didn't know what "stand up for me" meant, either.

Basically, she wants her to be the junior maid of honor.

There are hundreds of Wolfes (Stephanie's family) coming...and 2 Finns (Jeff's family).

Stephanie's color scheme is "pale colors".
Sweet, I could just go naked.
Aw wait, I tanned a little.

Dad: Hey, Maddie, when you get the dress, just don't pick out some super short outfit with lots of Big Bird feathers.
Maddie: Okay, Dad. I guess I'll return the yellow boa and my leather miniskirt.

Mom: You can pick out whatever color dress you like, as long as it's a pale color. That was all she asked.
[Hey, at least she's letting you pick out your own dress, rather than picking a really ugly one for you.]
Madison: Pale? But I look ucky in pale colors. I'm pale!
Same here, Maddie.

Her friends still haven't guessed about Hart!!!

Madison's First Draft of the Wedding Poem
Your wedding is a special (ACK!!) day
And you will be feeling good in every way
The sun is shining bright on your FACES
And there is no one who can take your places
(No one?)
Thank u for making me a part of the day (change this word)
OH I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!!!!!

It could use some work.

Madison finds the perfect dress...and it's ORANGE, her favorite color.

And she runs into Elaine, Drew's new girlfriend, at the mall.
UH OH.

Elaine's really nice and oblivious to bragging.

She's on her way to meet Drew in the library in 15 minutes.
Madison wonders if they'll be doing something other than checking out books...
Such as checking out each other...
Who knows, maybe they'll even do a little studying...
And Drew will teach her a little French...
Hahaha, libraries are so useful for analogies.

Bigwheels is always:
A. sick
B. grounded
C. unable to go online because her computer crashed
Then she goes on to describe
A. her little brother and sister
B. her fight with her best friend
C. Reggie
D. her new pet
E. her new computer (whenever her computer crashes, SHE GETS A NEW ONE!!!)

Ooh, Bigwheels met a cute guy named Tommy. He has a billion freckles. Sounds...hot.

Dun dun dun!! The first mention of bras in a Madison Finn book!

Uh oh. Stephanie casually mentions that there will be few fancy parties, so Madison needs some more dressy outfits.

So Madison starts cleaning out her closet...Eminem-style.

Fiona loans her a dress.
Isn't Fiona like a foot taller, though?
Oh well. If it's a sundress, she could wear it as a sheath dress or something.

Ew, Fiona and Madison get in a WAY sappy discussion about love, and whether or not they'll ever fall in love and get MARRIED. Fiona wonders if Egg will ever pop the question.
Ha, yeah. If Egg ever decides to COMMIT.

Awkward conversation with Hart.
Bad. Or good?
But you're making him nervous.
Good? Or bad?

"Totally free! Thanks, Mr. G."
Chet made a poem!!

Uh oh. Aimee and Fiona saw Madison talking to Hart, and she was SO flirting with him just now.

We've passed page 90, and Madison STILL hasn't left for Texas.

"'Have a good trip, Finnster,' Hart said with a wave of his hand.
'I will,' Madison said, unable to take his eyes off Hart's tousled hair. For a split second, she had an overwhelming urge to throw her arms around him and give him a hug."
RESIST THE URGE, MADDIE! RESIST THE URGE!

Page 100: She just got on the plane.

Fiona and Aimee write her a really long letter, in which they accuse her of liking Drew.

Stephanie's Texas accent comes creeping back into her voice.
Like my dad, whenever he goes back home, he gets a really thick Southern accent.
Actually, that happens every time he talks on the phone with his parents.

Madison lost her suitcase.
Oh.
No.
Now she can't change clothes.
OR check her e-mail.

Madison gets her own hotel room!!! And it's really nice!!!
Stephanie and Dad get a room to themselves.
Uh oh.
Implying they're sexually active.
That's not something I'd want to know about my dad and his partner.
If my dad were to start dating another woman if my mom died in a tragic boating accident or something.

TV! Sofa! Minifridge!!! Pretty sweet hotel room, right?
Like the suite my grandparents got us for their anniversary??
Ooooh yeaaaah.

Lame. Egg asked Fiona to the movies...
...and then ditched her.
Well, he called her and told her he couldn't make it, which is different than being stood up, but still.
That's mean.

So we'll pick up where we left off next time.
Just remember that Stephanie and Dad are getting married in Texas.
Egg is a jerk.
And Madison has no clothes on!!!
To be continued....