It's been almost a year since I posted last.
But I got bored and decided to reacquaint myself with Madison Finn.
Surprise!
Comments!
This never happens!
And I got two requests to finish up the Madison Finn series, which has been long overdue, so I'm sorry.
But it would be fun to reread the series again, and there are only a couple of books left, so I'll...think about it?
I don't know.
It was also cool to see death threats.
Really, death threats.
It was kind of thrilling. I've never ever been the recipient of a death threat.
Well, that's not true.
But online death threats are a whole nother ball game.
My favorite one was, "Rudeness. The end."
Well, yeah.
To those who pointed out that I need to get a life, didn't I mention that myself in several posts?
But honestly? It turns out you don't need one, so those assertions didn't really hurt all that much.
And, frankly, I would LOVE to have goth makeup put on me while I was asleep. If I'm going to start wearing makeup, I might as well start doing it right.
So, yes, I'm sorry if I was overly harsh and insulted your favorite characters.
But, other than that, we live in a sort of free country where freedom of speech exists.
Never mind, I'm sorry. That's the lamest excuse ever, and I hate it when people use it, so I take that back.
Anyway, since the Madison Finn series went unfinished and there are new Avalons coming out (YES!!!), I'll keep posting, so keep commenting and sending death threats!!!
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Friday, May 8, 2009
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Somebody's getting married! Part #3
I started this on the 19th!!! Sorry, I've been so busy!!!
Plot: It's the day of the wedding.
MADISON STILL HASN'T FINISHED THE COLLAGE!
She wakes up at 3 AM and manages to finish the thing AND write a really excellent poem in 2 short hours.
Tiffany comes by to pick her up, and finds Madison undressed (not naked, just in her pajamas).
Madison is worried her snobby cousin will make fun of her orange dress, but not only does Tiffany love the dress, but she turns out to be really nice, just overbearing and chatty.
It's time for the wedding. Madison gets through her Shakespeare reading without incident, and neither Jeff nor Stephanie runs away in tears. They stumble through the vows and become Mr. and Mrs. Jeffery Finn.
Yay, Madison and her dad are still super close.
Oh, and he loves the wedding present, as does Stephanie.
Madison returns home, where she finally reveals to Aimee and Fiona that she likes Hart.
Weee, how anticlimactic.
More notes:
Madison doesn't want the wedding to happen, because her future step-grandma is a witch, there are bad omens all around, and she wants her parents to get back together.
Bigwheels says, "I bet ur the prettiest girl there."
....
Maybe Bigwheels doesn't like Reggie (or boys) as much as she thought she did....
AAARGH! Aimee sends another e-mail, and it still sounds like she's blaming Madison for Fiona's problems. But then Aimee admits to not doing anything to make Fiona better, and claims it's because Madison's not there, and they have to do it together or whatever.
Ugh, I hate Aimee SOOO much.
Lame. Hart e-mails Madison about a BBQ at his house when he knows she'll be in Texas then. You suck, Hart.
Dad: In ten hours, I will marry Stephanie, and more than anything else on the planet, I want you to be okay with it.
Madison: I told you a zillion times, Dad, I'm okay with it.
Dad: I believed you before. I'm not so sure anymore.
Madison: Why can't you believe me now? I can't believe you don't believe that I believe....
:? What?
"Are you really marrying Stephanie tomorrow? But her family is so weird. And she's so...neurotic. She practically bawled her eyes out that night in here with me."
That's a good reason not to marry someone. They had a bad day. -_-
"Madison had totally lied to Dad. Of course she knew about love. After all, that was really the only thing that explained how she felt about Hart Jones."
Don't believe the hype, Maddie. That's not love.
Don't you hate it when you wake up at 3 AM and remember you didn't do something important?
....
The time suddenly jumps from 5:30 to 6:30, then from 6:30 to 7:30.
WHERE DID THOSE TWO HOURS GO?
Argh...just...divorce is never a good thing!
Aimee's shame game worked!!!
Tiffany is so Sandy from Spongebob Squarepants!!
"Aw, jeepers! You're not even ready yet!"
Oh no...Madison has doubts about her orangey-orange dress! Tiffany's all, "Sounds...*cough cough* butt ugly! *cough cough*"
"Madison could almost feel the blood drain from her face. Panicked thoughts zipped through her head like little fireflies. She had a vision of herself walking up to the wedding ceremony at the Wolfe Ranch. There, a burly cowboy bouncer would greet her.
'Hey, you in the orange dress!' he would exclaim, readying his lasso to rope Madison like loose cattle. 'No orange allowed at this hoedown!'"
Argh. I hate zits that get bigger when you pop them.
That's what Madison has.
Tiffany is a brat because...Wanda is abusive??
Tiffany and Madison bond over ping-pong. Tiffany says she LIKES the orange dress!
She even offers to go back to her house to get an orange hairclip that would go perfectly with Madison's dress!!!
Tiffany sculpts Madison's hair into the wonder it is on the cover. Hm.
OMG, THERE ARE PONY RIDES AT STEPHANIE'S WEDDING!
Okay, weird. Kirk thinks Madison looks pretty.
Isn't she his new step-cousin thing?
Madison reads a cool beans Shakespeare sonnet at the wedding.
Jeff and Stephanie mess up the vows.
"I, Jeffrey Peter Finn, take thee, Stephanie Mae Wolfe, to be my lawful wedded husband...I mean, awful wedded wife...I mean...lawful...wedded...wife."
That would be a tad embarassing.
Madison spontaneously decides to hug Kirk.
Which TOTALLY weirds him out.
So Maddie decides not to make anymore romantic endeavors in the near future.
Stephanie almost married a guy named Bob.
But she called if off.
Madison dances with Kirk. He's not very good and they're related...but she got to dance with a boy.
You're never too old for a pony ride!
Madison twists her ankle while resisting a square dance with her dad.
So much for that.
"Loooove, soft as an easy chair...Loooove, fresh as the morning air..."
Sounds like the stuff they play on 106.9.
"Madison was thinking about love, too.
Back home - where her Hart was."
-_-
"There is nothing more romantic than forever, is there? Like, 'I will love you forever and ever into infinity, my darling Madison.'"
Actually, if any boy said that to me, I'd punch him in the face.
And not because my name isn't Madison.
Wow, that would suck, wouldn't it? "I'm in love with you, Mia...I mean, Lauren."
Who's Mia???
Stephanie and Jeff buy her a locket with picture of all of them at the beach.
This book actually came with a locket...that I lost. :( It was cheap, anyway.
Madison fixed the poem:
Your wedding is a special day
I'm sure you will be feeling good in every way
The sun is shining bright on your faces
Of course there is no one who can take your places
At first I thought this wedding would be weird
And that was just the start of what I feared
I know you're happy and I'm happy too
But I wondered what would happen with you two
And then I realized you will still be there
You will always listen and you will always care.
I know that sometime's I'm hard for Dad to take
Like when he says, "Maddie, give me a break."
Plus I have one mom and never had another
I'm not sure I know how to have a stepmother
I want our family to be complete and real
I want you both to know just how I feel.
You take care of me and let me share your life
Dad, I'm so glad you picked Stephanie for you wife
I hope that I will be a good part of the deal
I want you both to know just how I feel.
I wish you the best happy wedding time
Thanks for including me even though I can't really rhyme.
That sounds like something off Veggietales...or the Hallmark Channel.
Stephanie loves it and starts crying. Definitely Hallmark Channel.
Group hug!!!
"I've been obsessing about Hart again for some reason. I even had a dream about him last night! He was riding in this carriage and carrying flowers and candles. Don't ask."
Don't worry. I won't.
Though I vaguely remember some of my own obsessive dreams...involving the army...and Wild Waves!
Madison finally fesses up about her crush on Hart!!!
So, naturally, Aimee tells the whole world.
NO WAY. Jeff is letting Tiffany and her friends hang out with Madison in her hotel room, and they can watch whatever movies they want (they got the "R" route, because they're so devious) and order as much room service as they want!!! Dang!
I hate it when they're like, "The plane is beginning it's descent," and it takes another HALF HOUR.
Four hour flight from Chicago to Georgia! Whoo!
No more lost bags! No more lost bags!
Success! Madison's bag returns to New York with her!
Jeff orders a LIMOUSINE to take Madison home!!! It's like...4 miles!!!
Ha ha. A hilarious misunderstanding between Madison, Aimee, and Mom.
"I thought you liked Drew! Or maybe it was Dan. I can't remember."
"Pork-O!!? I thought you liked Hart? When did you like Dan? I know he likes you!"
Madison apparently didn't know Dan liked her...
...even though he practically STALKED HER in #11.
Home again. Home again. Stuff like that.
Madison's Computer Tip:
Use a laptop to keep a travel diary.
Okay. Phew. I'll do #16 tomorrow and maybe read some more later.
Plot: It's the day of the wedding.
MADISON STILL HASN'T FINISHED THE COLLAGE!
She wakes up at 3 AM and manages to finish the thing AND write a really excellent poem in 2 short hours.
Tiffany comes by to pick her up, and finds Madison undressed (not naked, just in her pajamas).
Madison is worried her snobby cousin will make fun of her orange dress, but not only does Tiffany love the dress, but she turns out to be really nice, just overbearing and chatty.
It's time for the wedding. Madison gets through her Shakespeare reading without incident, and neither Jeff nor Stephanie runs away in tears. They stumble through the vows and become Mr. and Mrs. Jeffery Finn.
Yay, Madison and her dad are still super close.
Oh, and he loves the wedding present, as does Stephanie.
Madison returns home, where she finally reveals to Aimee and Fiona that she likes Hart.
Weee, how anticlimactic.
More notes:
Madison doesn't want the wedding to happen, because her future step-grandma is a witch, there are bad omens all around, and she wants her parents to get back together.
Bigwheels says, "I bet ur the prettiest girl there."
....
Maybe Bigwheels doesn't like Reggie (or boys) as much as she thought she did....
AAARGH! Aimee sends another e-mail, and it still sounds like she's blaming Madison for Fiona's problems. But then Aimee admits to not doing anything to make Fiona better, and claims it's because Madison's not there, and they have to do it together or whatever.
Ugh, I hate Aimee SOOO much.
Lame. Hart e-mails Madison about a BBQ at his house when he knows she'll be in Texas then. You suck, Hart.
Dad: In ten hours, I will marry Stephanie, and more than anything else on the planet, I want you to be okay with it.
Madison: I told you a zillion times, Dad, I'm okay with it.
Dad: I believed you before. I'm not so sure anymore.
Madison: Why can't you believe me now? I can't believe you don't believe that I believe....
:? What?
"Are you really marrying Stephanie tomorrow? But her family is so weird. And she's so...neurotic. She practically bawled her eyes out that night in here with me."
That's a good reason not to marry someone. They had a bad day. -_-
"Madison had totally lied to Dad. Of course she knew about love. After all, that was really the only thing that explained how she felt about Hart Jones."
Don't believe the hype, Maddie. That's not love.
Don't you hate it when you wake up at 3 AM and remember you didn't do something important?
....
The time suddenly jumps from 5:30 to 6:30, then from 6:30 to 7:30.
WHERE DID THOSE TWO HOURS GO?
Argh...just...divorce is never a good thing!
Aimee's shame game worked!!!
Tiffany is so Sandy from Spongebob Squarepants!!
"Aw, jeepers! You're not even ready yet!"
Oh no...Madison has doubts about her orangey-orange dress! Tiffany's all, "Sounds...*cough cough* butt ugly! *cough cough*"
"Madison could almost feel the blood drain from her face. Panicked thoughts zipped through her head like little fireflies. She had a vision of herself walking up to the wedding ceremony at the Wolfe Ranch. There, a burly cowboy bouncer would greet her.
'Hey, you in the orange dress!' he would exclaim, readying his lasso to rope Madison like loose cattle. 'No orange allowed at this hoedown!'"
Argh. I hate zits that get bigger when you pop them.
That's what Madison has.
Tiffany is a brat because...Wanda is abusive??
Tiffany and Madison bond over ping-pong. Tiffany says she LIKES the orange dress!
She even offers to go back to her house to get an orange hairclip that would go perfectly with Madison's dress!!!
Tiffany sculpts Madison's hair into the wonder it is on the cover. Hm.
OMG, THERE ARE PONY RIDES AT STEPHANIE'S WEDDING!
Okay, weird. Kirk thinks Madison looks pretty.
Isn't she his new step-cousin thing?
Madison reads a cool beans Shakespeare sonnet at the wedding.
Jeff and Stephanie mess up the vows.
"I, Jeffrey Peter Finn, take thee, Stephanie Mae Wolfe, to be my lawful wedded husband...I mean, awful wedded wife...I mean...lawful...wedded...wife."
That would be a tad embarassing.
Madison spontaneously decides to hug Kirk.
Which TOTALLY weirds him out.
So Maddie decides not to make anymore romantic endeavors in the near future.
Stephanie almost married a guy named Bob.
But she called if off.
Madison dances with Kirk. He's not very good and they're related...but she got to dance with a boy.
You're never too old for a pony ride!
Madison twists her ankle while resisting a square dance with her dad.
So much for that.
"Loooove, soft as an easy chair...Loooove, fresh as the morning air..."
Sounds like the stuff they play on 106.9.
"Madison was thinking about love, too.
Back home - where her Hart was."
-_-
"There is nothing more romantic than forever, is there? Like, 'I will love you forever and ever into infinity, my darling Madison.'"
Actually, if any boy said that to me, I'd punch him in the face.
And not because my name isn't Madison.
Wow, that would suck, wouldn't it? "I'm in love with you, Mia...I mean, Lauren."
Who's Mia???
Stephanie and Jeff buy her a locket with picture of all of them at the beach.
This book actually came with a locket...that I lost. :( It was cheap, anyway.
Madison fixed the poem:
Your wedding is a special day
I'm sure you will be feeling good in every way
The sun is shining bright on your faces
Of course there is no one who can take your places
At first I thought this wedding would be weird
And that was just the start of what I feared
I know you're happy and I'm happy too
But I wondered what would happen with you two
And then I realized you will still be there
You will always listen and you will always care.
I know that sometime's I'm hard for Dad to take
Like when he says, "Maddie, give me a break."
Plus I have one mom and never had another
I'm not sure I know how to have a stepmother
I want our family to be complete and real
I want you both to know just how I feel.
You take care of me and let me share your life
Dad, I'm so glad you picked Stephanie for you wife
I hope that I will be a good part of the deal
I want you both to know just how I feel.
I wish you the best happy wedding time
Thanks for including me even though I can't really rhyme.
That sounds like something off Veggietales...or the Hallmark Channel.
Stephanie loves it and starts crying. Definitely Hallmark Channel.
Group hug!!!
"I've been obsessing about Hart again for some reason. I even had a dream about him last night! He was riding in this carriage and carrying flowers and candles. Don't ask."
Don't worry. I won't.
Though I vaguely remember some of my own obsessive dreams...involving the army...and Wild Waves!
Madison finally fesses up about her crush on Hart!!!
So, naturally, Aimee tells the whole world.
NO WAY. Jeff is letting Tiffany and her friends hang out with Madison in her hotel room, and they can watch whatever movies they want (they got the "R" route, because they're so devious) and order as much room service as they want!!! Dang!
I hate it when they're like, "The plane is beginning it's descent," and it takes another HALF HOUR.
Four hour flight from Chicago to Georgia! Whoo!
No more lost bags! No more lost bags!
Success! Madison's bag returns to New York with her!
Jeff orders a LIMOUSINE to take Madison home!!! It's like...4 miles!!!
Ha ha. A hilarious misunderstanding between Madison, Aimee, and Mom.
"I thought you liked Drew! Or maybe it was Dan. I can't remember."
"Pork-O!!? I thought you liked Hart? When did you like Dan? I know he likes you!"
Madison apparently didn't know Dan liked her...
...even though he practically STALKED HER in #11.
Home again. Home again. Stuff like that.
Madison's Computer Tip:
Use a laptop to keep a travel diary.
Okay. Phew. I'll do #16 tomorrow and maybe read some more later.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Unkept promises abound, or Pony Pals Super Special #4: The Fourth Pony Pal
So it's the FOURTH Super Special and it's about the FOURTH Pony Pal. Sorry. Not really funny.
Plot: Pam wants to take part in a jumping clinic in Virginia, so she and her Pony Pals go on a road trip!!! w00t!!!
When they get to the clinic, Mrs. Foster (the person in charge) is a total snob, and all the other girls are wankers. Shelly, Mrs. Foster's daughter, is just as mean as everyone else, but seems withdrawn and sad a lot of the time.
The meddling Pony Pals get to the bottom of it: Shelly misses her pony Midnight Ride, but is angry at her mother and best friend Brooke because they'd been advising her to dump Midnight Ride before he DIED of COLIC.
Ooooh, that burns.
The Pony Pals comfort Shelly, convince her to cry it out, and help her reconnect with her mother.
Then they go home.
More notes:
Lulu casually mentions homework. It seems like the Pony Pals NEVER GO TO SCHOOL.
Summer vacation again???
Wait...the clinic is in Virginia. Isn't that where Lulu's godsister or whatever Alicia lives?? And they're not going to go visit? I guess Alicia doesn't exist anymore.
They get a letter from Eleanor Morgan, the pro stadium jumper from #21. She writes like a 10-year-old.
Pam's dad is all, "Oh no, a week without Pam, what will I do?"
Shut up, Robert. You should be jumping for joy.
At least I think his name is Robert. Didn't he say his name was Robert that one time?
Anna feels like she's missing something important....
Underwear? No, not underwear.
Shoes? No, of course not.
Pads? Heck no, why would she need that?
Oh duh - ART SUPPLIES!
Grandmother Sanders gives them a beauty kit to take with them. Read: So you 3 won't look like slobs at the jumping clinic.
They live in Conneticutt (I know I spelled that wrong), right? It takes them 4 HOURS to get to Virginia. I don't think so. Mapquest says 9.
They act like people make a big deal about whether you have a horse or a pony. No, Pam, I don't think anyone cares.
Mrs. Foster is wonderfully polite ...until Pam's mom leaves.
Mrs. Foster: You shouldn't have disappeared like that. All your friends are upstairs.
Shelly: They're not my friends. They're your students.
Nice, a character with backbone!
Anna is such a freak!
"When we stay over at Pam's we sleep in the barn. We call ourselves the Pony Pals and love to trail ride."
And you wonder why you don't make friends easily....
Pam: Hi. I'm Pam Crandal. The tall one.
Um, the black one....
They have a palomino pony...named GOLDIE.
Proving that no one has any originality.
Heh. Mrs. Foster splits them up.
Pam is kind of stupid.
Shelly: Tell Brooke that my mother wants to speak with her.
Pam: *turns to Brooke* Shelly said-
Brooke: No duh, I'm not deaf.
Brooke and Shelly are fighting. Pam is sharing a room with them. Should be fun. XP
"Anna didn't mention the lucky upside-down heart marking on Lightning's forehead. She had a feeling Shelly wouldn't care."
I don't care either, Anna.
Sweet. Shelly is antisocial and feisty. We have a lot in common, Shelly!
Okay, I know these girls like horses, but there are OTHER horse books and movies that DON'T involve Black Beauty.
Everyone likes to talk about themselves, Pam. What's wrong with you?
Brooke is Regina from "Mean Girls".
Shelly seems upset. Pam wonders if Shelly lost a big competition.
Or maybe someone died, perhaps?
Bells say ding-dong, ding-dong. What kind of bell says dong-dong, dong-dong?
Shelly tells Brooke where to stuff it when Brooke mistakenly makes fun of the Pony Pals. Yeaaah!
Mrs. Foster: Quiet, you two. Watch carefully. You can learn a lot just by observing.
Anna: I can learn how to be bored.
Lol.
The Pony Pals want to know what Shelly's problem is and why she's so sad and angry.
I want to know why it's any of their business.
Anna and Snow White escape. In the process of looking for them, Pam sets off the burglar alarm. Hahaha, it wakes EVERYONE up.
I notice no one in this series ever has short hair or glasses. If they're a girl, anyway. For boys, that's true, too...except for the short hair part.
They start talking about ponies and Shelly runs away crying.
RED FLAG!
Her pony's name was Midnight Ride. -_- Guess what color he was?
"Shelly is a lot angry at her mother. We all wonder why."
Not only is that HORRIBLE grammar, but it should seem pretty obvious why Shelly hates her mom; the woman's a PSYCHO.
Anna has come a long way. Instead of instantly labeling people "snobs", she gives Shelly another chance.
Brooke: More Pony Pal secrets?
Lulu: Yes, and they're all about you, Brooke.
Pwned!!
To make friends with Shelly, they write her a letter????
But you guys are staying in the same house!!
Shelly doesn't want to play therapist with the Pony Pals, but she'd rather hang out with them than watch...*drumroll*..."Black Beauty"!
What is their obsession with this movie, as well as spaghetti, brownies, and grilled cheese sandwiches?
Shelly probably shouldn't watch a movie about a black horse. Might set her off again. Whatever.
"I was the only one who cried when Midnight Ride died."
Awwwwww....
Okay, lame. When Shelly tells them she has no interest in competing, Lulu and Anna understand.
But when Pam, in the beginning of the series, told them she HATED competing and had no interest in doing so, they EMOTIONALLY BLACKMAILED her into competing.
These guys SUCK.
Mrs. Foster has a horse named Royal Star.
What a prissy name.
Shelly writes a book about Midnight Ride and gives it to her mom.
Shelly got Midnight Ride when she was 6, and he died of colic when she was 10.
That really sucks.
Shelly: I don't want to live here anymore. I'm going to run away.
Anna: You can come to Wiggins with us if you want, but don't run away.
Whaaat? If you take her to Wiggins with you, you'll be HELPING her run away. SO CONFUSED.
Mrs. Foster promises to be less of a stiff.
Shelly: Is this what the Pony Pals do all the time?
Anna: Not ALL the time. But we trail ride a lot.
They also as participate in parades, man face-painting booths, catch hunters in the act, rescue hamsters, herd sheep, train ponies, find little girls and lost ponies, save ponies, tutor dyslexic girls, heal sick ponies, bargain with sellers, comfort dying ponies, tame wild ponies, join the circus, brave blizzards, give people makeovers, babysit, give blind ponies sight, manipulate and persuade, put out fires, adopt stray cats, take care of elderly ponies, help girls run away, build secret clubhouses, compete in horse shows, barrel race, watch bears, act in movies, find dogs, help birth foals, rescue abused animals, go back in time, communicate with animals, and help the environment.
Shelly's new friends Linda and Mary Ellen have ponies, too!
One is an Appaloosa named Smoothie, for his smooth gait (aaaaagh!).
Now they're all best friends and call themselves the Pony Pals, too.
Doesn't this happen in ALL Pony Pal books? They meet a new girl, make friends with her, convert her to their religion, and then send her home, where she creates her own three person Pony Cult. Creepy.
Only 3 Pony Pals books left: #37, #38, and Super Special #6.
Then it's all over.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Plot: Pam wants to take part in a jumping clinic in Virginia, so she and her Pony Pals go on a road trip!!! w00t!!!
When they get to the clinic, Mrs. Foster (the person in charge) is a total snob, and all the other girls are wankers. Shelly, Mrs. Foster's daughter, is just as mean as everyone else, but seems withdrawn and sad a lot of the time.
The meddling Pony Pals get to the bottom of it: Shelly misses her pony Midnight Ride, but is angry at her mother and best friend Brooke because they'd been advising her to dump Midnight Ride before he DIED of COLIC.
Ooooh, that burns.
The Pony Pals comfort Shelly, convince her to cry it out, and help her reconnect with her mother.
Then they go home.
More notes:
Lulu casually mentions homework. It seems like the Pony Pals NEVER GO TO SCHOOL.
Summer vacation again???
Wait...the clinic is in Virginia. Isn't that where Lulu's godsister or whatever Alicia lives?? And they're not going to go visit? I guess Alicia doesn't exist anymore.
They get a letter from Eleanor Morgan, the pro stadium jumper from #21. She writes like a 10-year-old.
Pam's dad is all, "Oh no, a week without Pam, what will I do?"
Shut up, Robert. You should be jumping for joy.
At least I think his name is Robert. Didn't he say his name was Robert that one time?
Anna feels like she's missing something important....
Underwear? No, not underwear.
Shoes? No, of course not.
Pads? Heck no, why would she need that?
Oh duh - ART SUPPLIES!
Grandmother Sanders gives them a beauty kit to take with them. Read: So you 3 won't look like slobs at the jumping clinic.
They live in Conneticutt (I know I spelled that wrong), right? It takes them 4 HOURS to get to Virginia. I don't think so. Mapquest says 9.
They act like people make a big deal about whether you have a horse or a pony. No, Pam, I don't think anyone cares.
Mrs. Foster is wonderfully polite ...until Pam's mom leaves.
Mrs. Foster: You shouldn't have disappeared like that. All your friends are upstairs.
Shelly: They're not my friends. They're your students.
Nice, a character with backbone!
Anna is such a freak!
"When we stay over at Pam's we sleep in the barn. We call ourselves the Pony Pals and love to trail ride."
And you wonder why you don't make friends easily....
Pam: Hi. I'm Pam Crandal. The tall one.
Um, the black one....
They have a palomino pony...named GOLDIE.
Proving that no one has any originality.
Heh. Mrs. Foster splits them up.
Pam is kind of stupid.
Shelly: Tell Brooke that my mother wants to speak with her.
Pam: *turns to Brooke* Shelly said-
Brooke: No duh, I'm not deaf.
Brooke and Shelly are fighting. Pam is sharing a room with them. Should be fun. XP
"Anna didn't mention the lucky upside-down heart marking on Lightning's forehead. She had a feeling Shelly wouldn't care."
I don't care either, Anna.
Sweet. Shelly is antisocial and feisty. We have a lot in common, Shelly!
Okay, I know these girls like horses, but there are OTHER horse books and movies that DON'T involve Black Beauty.
Everyone likes to talk about themselves, Pam. What's wrong with you?
Brooke is Regina from "Mean Girls".
Shelly seems upset. Pam wonders if Shelly lost a big competition.
Or maybe someone died, perhaps?
Bells say ding-dong, ding-dong. What kind of bell says dong-dong, dong-dong?
Shelly tells Brooke where to stuff it when Brooke mistakenly makes fun of the Pony Pals. Yeaaah!
Mrs. Foster: Quiet, you two. Watch carefully. You can learn a lot just by observing.
Anna: I can learn how to be bored.
Lol.
The Pony Pals want to know what Shelly's problem is and why she's so sad and angry.
I want to know why it's any of their business.
Anna and Snow White escape. In the process of looking for them, Pam sets off the burglar alarm. Hahaha, it wakes EVERYONE up.
I notice no one in this series ever has short hair or glasses. If they're a girl, anyway. For boys, that's true, too...except for the short hair part.
They start talking about ponies and Shelly runs away crying.
RED FLAG!
Her pony's name was Midnight Ride. -_- Guess what color he was?
"Shelly is a lot angry at her mother. We all wonder why."
Not only is that HORRIBLE grammar, but it should seem pretty obvious why Shelly hates her mom; the woman's a PSYCHO.
Anna has come a long way. Instead of instantly labeling people "snobs", she gives Shelly another chance.
Brooke: More Pony Pal secrets?
Lulu: Yes, and they're all about you, Brooke.
Pwned!!
To make friends with Shelly, they write her a letter????
But you guys are staying in the same house!!
Shelly doesn't want to play therapist with the Pony Pals, but she'd rather hang out with them than watch...*drumroll*..."Black Beauty"!
What is their obsession with this movie, as well as spaghetti, brownies, and grilled cheese sandwiches?
Shelly probably shouldn't watch a movie about a black horse. Might set her off again. Whatever.
"I was the only one who cried when Midnight Ride died."
Awwwwww....
Okay, lame. When Shelly tells them she has no interest in competing, Lulu and Anna understand.
But when Pam, in the beginning of the series, told them she HATED competing and had no interest in doing so, they EMOTIONALLY BLACKMAILED her into competing.
These guys SUCK.
Mrs. Foster has a horse named Royal Star.
What a prissy name.
Shelly writes a book about Midnight Ride and gives it to her mom.
Shelly got Midnight Ride when she was 6, and he died of colic when she was 10.
That really sucks.
Shelly: I don't want to live here anymore. I'm going to run away.
Anna: You can come to Wiggins with us if you want, but don't run away.
Whaaat? If you take her to Wiggins with you, you'll be HELPING her run away. SO CONFUSED.
Mrs. Foster promises to be less of a stiff.
Shelly: Is this what the Pony Pals do all the time?
Anna: Not ALL the time. But we trail ride a lot.
They also as participate in parades, man face-painting booths, catch hunters in the act, rescue hamsters, herd sheep, train ponies, find little girls and lost ponies, save ponies, tutor dyslexic girls, heal sick ponies, bargain with sellers, comfort dying ponies, tame wild ponies, join the circus, brave blizzards, give people makeovers, babysit, give blind ponies sight, manipulate and persuade, put out fires, adopt stray cats, take care of elderly ponies, help girls run away, build secret clubhouses, compete in horse shows, barrel race, watch bears, act in movies, find dogs, help birth foals, rescue abused animals, go back in time, communicate with animals, and help the environment.
Shelly's new friends Linda and Mary Ellen have ponies, too!
One is an Appaloosa named Smoothie, for his smooth gait (aaaaagh!).
Now they're all best friends and call themselves the Pony Pals, too.
Doesn't this happen in ALL Pony Pal books? They meet a new girl, make friends with her, convert her to their religion, and then send her home, where she creates her own three person Pony Cult. Creepy.
Only 3 Pony Pals books left: #37, #38, and Super Special #6.
Then it's all over.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
I swear this was in Balto, or Avalon: Quest For Magic #3: Ghost Wolf
I'm not kidding. In "Balto II", Aleou was in that cave with the creepy Inuit mouse who told her to find herself in the spirit world or whatever, and then he started singing.
That pretty much sums up the entire book.
Well, not really, but it was a lot of weird, freaky spirit world stuff that I didn't get AT ALL.
Plot: Adriane and Dreamer have been having a lot of trouble communicating lately. Dreamer has been acting wild and out of control, rather like the machine functions we were learning about in math class.
One day, after a disastrous tour, Adriane runs home to find Dreamer standing over a fallen Gran!! Gran is now in a coma, and Adriane partially blames Dreamer.
Adriane has also been having weird dreams about the forest guardian Orenda. Orenda is in "great peril" - someone is attacking her! Adriane wishes she could help, but doesn't know where to find this lost forest guardian.
More magical drama: Adriane starts lashing out at her friends, her parents finally return to take Adriane with them to New York, someone is trying to destroy Ravenswood, etc., etc., etc.
Finally, Adriane's world comes crashing down; Dreamer attacks Beasley Windor and is taken away by Animal Control.
Thankfully, the students at school start a petition to save Ravenswood, and Zach and Drake show up to help Adriane in her time of need.
Oh no, it turns out the Spirit Pack (the huge pack of dead mistwolves that Stormbringer, Adriane's old mistwolf, belongs to) is missing! If they are gone too long, all the mistwolves will lose their magic! No wonder Dreamer is so crazy!
Rescue mission! Adriane finds Dreamer at the local zoo, but he has been possessed by an evil mistwolf named Chain! They tussle, but of course Adriane wins. Not sure how, but she does.
To save all the mistwolves and find the spirit pack, Adriane and Dreamer will have to find the magic power crystal, which is located on the spirit path. ????? So confused.
So they find the power crystal, but there's this whole battle with the Spider Witch and Dark Sorceress.
Then, in a random plot twist, it turns out Stormbringer is alive!!! She, Adriane, and Dreamer fight together, because working together is precious, bla bla bla, so weird.
Then, at the end, a demon-possessed Orenda starts attacking everyone. With no way to save her, Adriane kills her. Now there is no forest spirit! Stormbringer steps forward to take on that difficult position. Adriane protests, as she just got her friend back, but Storm insists. Oh well.
Now Storm is Adriane's paladin, and Adriane is a level 2 mage.
Also, Dreamer is back to normal, Gran has healed, and Adriane's parents have decided that they'd rather move to New York WITHOUT Adriane. Yaaaay.
I don't understand these books at all. Thank goodness there's only one left in the series.
That pretty much sums up the entire book.
Well, not really, but it was a lot of weird, freaky spirit world stuff that I didn't get AT ALL.
Plot: Adriane and Dreamer have been having a lot of trouble communicating lately. Dreamer has been acting wild and out of control, rather like the machine functions we were learning about in math class.
One day, after a disastrous tour, Adriane runs home to find Dreamer standing over a fallen Gran!! Gran is now in a coma, and Adriane partially blames Dreamer.
Adriane has also been having weird dreams about the forest guardian Orenda. Orenda is in "great peril" - someone is attacking her! Adriane wishes she could help, but doesn't know where to find this lost forest guardian.
More magical drama: Adriane starts lashing out at her friends, her parents finally return to take Adriane with them to New York, someone is trying to destroy Ravenswood, etc., etc., etc.
Finally, Adriane's world comes crashing down; Dreamer attacks Beasley Windor and is taken away by Animal Control.
Thankfully, the students at school start a petition to save Ravenswood, and Zach and Drake show up to help Adriane in her time of need.
Oh no, it turns out the Spirit Pack (the huge pack of dead mistwolves that Stormbringer, Adriane's old mistwolf, belongs to) is missing! If they are gone too long, all the mistwolves will lose their magic! No wonder Dreamer is so crazy!
Rescue mission! Adriane finds Dreamer at the local zoo, but he has been possessed by an evil mistwolf named Chain! They tussle, but of course Adriane wins. Not sure how, but she does.
To save all the mistwolves and find the spirit pack, Adriane and Dreamer will have to find the magic power crystal, which is located on the spirit path. ????? So confused.
So they find the power crystal, but there's this whole battle with the Spider Witch and Dark Sorceress.
Then, in a random plot twist, it turns out Stormbringer is alive!!! She, Adriane, and Dreamer fight together, because working together is precious, bla bla bla, so weird.
Then, at the end, a demon-possessed Orenda starts attacking everyone. With no way to save her, Adriane kills her. Now there is no forest spirit! Stormbringer steps forward to take on that difficult position. Adriane protests, as she just got her friend back, but Storm insists. Oh well.
Now Storm is Adriane's paladin, and Adriane is a level 2 mage.
Also, Dreamer is back to normal, Gran has healed, and Adriane's parents have decided that they'd rather move to New York WITHOUT Adriane. Yaaaay.
I don't understand these books at all. Thank goodness there's only one left in the series.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
It's the circle of life, or Pony Pals #34: The Pony and the Lost Swan
Pony Pals, Pony Pals, oh how I missed you. It's been nothing but unicorns, magic, and teenagers for a long time. I've been missing you guys, as well as Maddie Finn.
Plot: Lulu and Snow White are riding with their friends by Lake Appamapog when they find swan feathers. Lulu is obsessed with swans, so they look around to see if they can find any, and lo and behold, there they are, out on the lake! The Pony Pals name the swan and her three cygnets stupid things and admire the beautiful scene for a million years.
Then Mr. Kline comes by in his truck and tells them about the swan's mate, which was shot with a bow and arrow last week. He also instructs them to warn people not to leave their fishing line lying around, as it could kill the swans.
The Pony Pals go out and bother Tommy, because he likes to fish.
The next day, the Pony Pals go to visit the swans again...and find Friendly and Bottom Up, two of the cygnets, all by themselves!! Where are White Feathers and Slowpoke? White Feathers would never leave her babies by themselves!
They put the two babies in a box and take them to the animal shelter.
Later, they find White Feathers tangled up in fishing line. Curse you, Tommy Rand. They send her to the animal ER, too.
White Feathers is reunited with her babies and slowly recovers, but they still can't find Slowpoke! Hm, maybe she died. But the Pony Pals are convinced the cygnet is still alive.
She is. Back to her mother she goes.
After White Feathers recovers, they take the swans back to the lake and put up a sign warning people not to leave their fishing line lying around. Everyone gathers to watch the swans frolic in the water. Joyous days.
More notes:
The copy the library gave me was a hardcover. Seriously, a hardcover Pony Pals! Ghettofabulous.
I hate that bad behavior is written off as "curiosity".
How descriptive Pam. "Swans are really beautiful and big."
"The babies are adorable, but they're brown, not white." Kind of like 101 Dalmations. "WHERE ARE THE SPOTS?"
Uh oh, these swans don't have a father. Irresponsible swan fathers, never pay child support.
Lulu: *looking at the mother swan* White Feathers. She's White Feathers.
Pam: How do you know her name?
Lulu: It just popped into my head.
Anna: It's a perfect name for her.
Hm, maybe because she has WHITE FEATHERS.
Ugh. Lulu sang to some swans in England and they started dancing. Like a ballet. Ha. Swan Lake. Okaaay, enough of that.
They sing, "Make New Friends, but Keep the Old." THAT'S A GIRL SCOUTS SONG!
They name the babies Friendly, Slowpoke, and Bottom Up (because she resembles a shot glass).
ROFL. I love how blunt Mr. Kline is.
Anna: I wonder where he is now.
Mr. Kline: The male was killed last week.
Pam: That's so awful.
Lulu: How was he killed?
Mr. Kline: He was shot with a bow and arrow. His mate was very upset.
They should try to solve the mystery of this swan's murder. Like on "Monk".
OMG!!!
Mr. Kline: There were four cygnets the last time I was here. I guess one of them didn't make it.
Lulu: Was the cygnet shot with a bow and arrow, too?
Mr. Kline: I don't think so. I bet a snapping turtle got it. They go after cygnets and goslings. Or a hawk could have swooped down and taken it.
I love how he's casually chatting about death with 10-year-old girls!! This is hilarious!
Tommy: Let's go, Mike.
Mike: Sure. We're out of here, buddy.
Buddy? They're so gay together. Or at least Mike likes Tommy, like Dumbledore liked Gellert.
Ooh, the Pony Pals get in a fight with those rowdy boys.
Tommy: The BORING Pony Pests!
Anna: The DUMB, RUDE Bike Buddies!
Oh dear, this is getting heated.
They eat grilled-cheese-and-TOMATO sandwiches. This is an improvement. At least they're getting their vegetables.
Snow White gets caught in some fishing line. Heh.
How random. Friendly and Bottom Up pop out of nowhere.
Lulu is the best detective. Acorn is the best pony detective. They should work together.
That's seriously how sentences go in this book.
Dang, White Feathers has fish hooks stuck in her body. Ouch.
Pam isn't the best problem solver. "If we cut the fishing line, she could swim away with the hooks. If we take out the hooks, she could bleed."
How about you take her to the ANIMAL HOSPITAL.
I find it hard to believe that Ms. Raskins is the only one working at the shelter right now. Take a break and save the swan. "No, I'm busy, you irresponsible 10-year-olds need to bring it to me yourselves."
They enlist the help of Mr. Kline.
Whatever. This swan would be attacking them. Swans are MEAN. But White Feathers sits calmly while they remove pieces of metal from her flesh.
Whoa, since when is Mr. Kline a fireman? He owns a hardware store!
"We don't want to frighten her by bringing her indoors. There's a hawk in the examining room."
HA. That could end badly.
In the picture, there are THREE babies, but in the story, one is still missing. Way to go, Paul Bachem.
Ms. Raskins is lame. She complains about being overworked and understaffed a lot. How many animals could there be in Wiggins, Population 24?
The Pony Pals have to take care of White Feathers themselves. Laaame.
White Feathers almost chokes to death on some food because of some fishing line. And she lets Lulu cut it off her. THIS IS NOT TYPICAL SWAN BEHAVIOR.
Lulu has such a connection with animals. Not so much with people.
Actually, that's true of me, too.
First there were four swan babies. Then there were three.
ROFL.
Anna thinks Slowpoke is lost forever. Lulu reprimands her friend for being such a pessimist.
Actually, Lulu, it's called realism.
"The Pony Pests are everywhere. Call the exterminator!"
Ha. Ha. Ha.
Oh dear, Tommy starts mimicking Anna. What a jerk. Wait, these boys are how old??
Uh oh. Mike agrees to be more careful with his fishing line, but Tommy refuses. Come on, Mike, convince your boyfriend to obey.
EW, Mike looks exactly like this kid I used to HATE in 6th grade.
They find Slowpoke. She was pretending to be a bump on a log. No lies.
The Pony Pals do these late night watch things quite often and never seem to get tired.
Lulu thinks of their adventure with White Feathers as a horror movie with some happy parts. Hopefully it will have a happy ending. Darn. I was looking for a gory ending.
LAME. They decide to make a sign about the swans, and assume that Mr. Kline will donate the supplies they need because they cost a lot of money and it's for a good cause. The Pony Pals, I've noticed, aren't exactly smart about money.
Anna: Where's your bad-boy buddy?
Mike: Stop saying Tommy's bad. You just don't know him like I do. He's a great guy.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAY WHEN YOU'RE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP! MIKE IS GAY FOR TOMMY!
They suspect Tommy of killing the male swan!! :O
It wasn't him. But the Pony Pals want to assume it was. Because they're prejudiced.
Everyone surrounds the swans and sings "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" to them. LOL. Then the book ends with the typical thanking of the ponies. "Thank you. Thank you for saving the swans." How redundant.
That one wasn't as good as "The Magic Pony", where Mike is even gayer for Tommy, Rema straightens her hair, and Anna decides to be an actress. What drama. Oh, and we learn the real reason behind Mr. and Mrs. Lacey's divorce!!
Plot: Lulu and Snow White are riding with their friends by Lake Appamapog when they find swan feathers. Lulu is obsessed with swans, so they look around to see if they can find any, and lo and behold, there they are, out on the lake! The Pony Pals name the swan and her three cygnets stupid things and admire the beautiful scene for a million years.
Then Mr. Kline comes by in his truck and tells them about the swan's mate, which was shot with a bow and arrow last week. He also instructs them to warn people not to leave their fishing line lying around, as it could kill the swans.
The Pony Pals go out and bother Tommy, because he likes to fish.
The next day, the Pony Pals go to visit the swans again...and find Friendly and Bottom Up, two of the cygnets, all by themselves!! Where are White Feathers and Slowpoke? White Feathers would never leave her babies by themselves!
They put the two babies in a box and take them to the animal shelter.
Later, they find White Feathers tangled up in fishing line. Curse you, Tommy Rand. They send her to the animal ER, too.
White Feathers is reunited with her babies and slowly recovers, but they still can't find Slowpoke! Hm, maybe she died. But the Pony Pals are convinced the cygnet is still alive.
She is. Back to her mother she goes.
After White Feathers recovers, they take the swans back to the lake and put up a sign warning people not to leave their fishing line lying around. Everyone gathers to watch the swans frolic in the water. Joyous days.
More notes:
The copy the library gave me was a hardcover. Seriously, a hardcover Pony Pals! Ghettofabulous.
I hate that bad behavior is written off as "curiosity".
How descriptive Pam. "Swans are really beautiful and big."
"The babies are adorable, but they're brown, not white." Kind of like 101 Dalmations. "WHERE ARE THE SPOTS?"
Uh oh, these swans don't have a father. Irresponsible swan fathers, never pay child support.
Lulu: *looking at the mother swan* White Feathers. She's White Feathers.
Pam: How do you know her name?
Lulu: It just popped into my head.
Anna: It's a perfect name for her.
Hm, maybe because she has WHITE FEATHERS.
Ugh. Lulu sang to some swans in England and they started dancing. Like a ballet. Ha. Swan Lake. Okaaay, enough of that.
They sing, "Make New Friends, but Keep the Old." THAT'S A GIRL SCOUTS SONG!
They name the babies Friendly, Slowpoke, and Bottom Up (because she resembles a shot glass).
ROFL. I love how blunt Mr. Kline is.
Anna: I wonder where he is now.
Mr. Kline: The male was killed last week.
Pam: That's so awful.
Lulu: How was he killed?
Mr. Kline: He was shot with a bow and arrow. His mate was very upset.
They should try to solve the mystery of this swan's murder. Like on "Monk".
OMG!!!
Mr. Kline: There were four cygnets the last time I was here. I guess one of them didn't make it.
Lulu: Was the cygnet shot with a bow and arrow, too?
Mr. Kline: I don't think so. I bet a snapping turtle got it. They go after cygnets and goslings. Or a hawk could have swooped down and taken it.
I love how he's casually chatting about death with 10-year-old girls!! This is hilarious!
Tommy: Let's go, Mike.
Mike: Sure. We're out of here, buddy.
Buddy? They're so gay together. Or at least Mike likes Tommy, like Dumbledore liked Gellert.
Ooh, the Pony Pals get in a fight with those rowdy boys.
Tommy: The BORING Pony Pests!
Anna: The DUMB, RUDE Bike Buddies!
Oh dear, this is getting heated.
They eat grilled-cheese-and-TOMATO sandwiches. This is an improvement. At least they're getting their vegetables.
Snow White gets caught in some fishing line. Heh.
How random. Friendly and Bottom Up pop out of nowhere.
Lulu is the best detective. Acorn is the best pony detective. They should work together.
That's seriously how sentences go in this book.
Dang, White Feathers has fish hooks stuck in her body. Ouch.
Pam isn't the best problem solver. "If we cut the fishing line, she could swim away with the hooks. If we take out the hooks, she could bleed."
How about you take her to the ANIMAL HOSPITAL.
I find it hard to believe that Ms. Raskins is the only one working at the shelter right now. Take a break and save the swan. "No, I'm busy, you irresponsible 10-year-olds need to bring it to me yourselves."
They enlist the help of Mr. Kline.
Whatever. This swan would be attacking them. Swans are MEAN. But White Feathers sits calmly while they remove pieces of metal from her flesh.
Whoa, since when is Mr. Kline a fireman? He owns a hardware store!
"We don't want to frighten her by bringing her indoors. There's a hawk in the examining room."
HA. That could end badly.
In the picture, there are THREE babies, but in the story, one is still missing. Way to go, Paul Bachem.
Ms. Raskins is lame. She complains about being overworked and understaffed a lot. How many animals could there be in Wiggins, Population 24?
The Pony Pals have to take care of White Feathers themselves. Laaame.
White Feathers almost chokes to death on some food because of some fishing line. And she lets Lulu cut it off her. THIS IS NOT TYPICAL SWAN BEHAVIOR.
Lulu has such a connection with animals. Not so much with people.
Actually, that's true of me, too.
First there were four swan babies. Then there were three.
ROFL.
Anna thinks Slowpoke is lost forever. Lulu reprimands her friend for being such a pessimist.
Actually, Lulu, it's called realism.
"The Pony Pests are everywhere. Call the exterminator!"
Ha. Ha. Ha.
Oh dear, Tommy starts mimicking Anna. What a jerk. Wait, these boys are how old??
Uh oh. Mike agrees to be more careful with his fishing line, but Tommy refuses. Come on, Mike, convince your boyfriend to obey.
EW, Mike looks exactly like this kid I used to HATE in 6th grade.
They find Slowpoke. She was pretending to be a bump on a log. No lies.
The Pony Pals do these late night watch things quite often and never seem to get tired.
Lulu thinks of their adventure with White Feathers as a horror movie with some happy parts. Hopefully it will have a happy ending. Darn. I was looking for a gory ending.
LAME. They decide to make a sign about the swans, and assume that Mr. Kline will donate the supplies they need because they cost a lot of money and it's for a good cause. The Pony Pals, I've noticed, aren't exactly smart about money.
Anna: Where's your bad-boy buddy?
Mike: Stop saying Tommy's bad. You just don't know him like I do. He's a great guy.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAY WHEN YOU'RE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP! MIKE IS GAY FOR TOMMY!
They suspect Tommy of killing the male swan!! :O
It wasn't him. But the Pony Pals want to assume it was. Because they're prejudiced.
Everyone surrounds the swans and sings "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" to them. LOL. Then the book ends with the typical thanking of the ponies. "Thank you. Thank you for saving the swans." How redundant.
That one wasn't as good as "The Magic Pony", where Mike is even gayer for Tommy, Rema straightens her hair, and Anna decides to be an actress. What drama. Oh, and we learn the real reason behind Mr. and Mrs. Lacey's divorce!!
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Bad behavior implies illness, or Pony Pals #33: What's Wrong With My Pony?
Yay, I'm back! I haven't posted for a while because I was reading a bunch of "Unicorns of Balinor" and some really tedious "Avalons" and I didn't want to post knowing those would come after this. Oh well. I've got some new Pony Pals, too, so that makes me feel a little bit better.
Plot: Lightning, Pam's usually well-behaved pony, is acting up! She bites her friends, attacks Pam, and almost tramples several people! Pam thinks Lightning is jealous because Pam rode Splash for all of two seconds. Right. That was her problem in book 6, too.
The Pony Pals, who are a tad smarter than Pam, suggest that Lightning has some disease or illness that is making her act up. Hm, could it be Equine ADHD?
They look online and find a page on "Lyme Disease". The symptoms listed on the page match Lightning's symptoms exactly!!
Dr. Crandal isn't convinced. He sends some of Lightning's DNA to the lab...and she has Lyme Disease!
I always thought Lyme Disease was one of those diseases that you have for the rest of your life. I read it in a Brio story. I guess they were wrong.
The rest of the book, Pam whines about how much she misses her pony and how she's never going to get better.
But she gets better. Obviously. Hurray.
More notes:
The Crandal twins are five again. They shall forever be five, I think.
Isn't Splash difficult every day?
Yeah, Splash is an Appaloosa. Why is he chestnut in the picture?
Mrs. Crandal's students have differing opinions on what a "circle" is. "Ride around in a circle." "Okay! *ride side by side*"
Pam believes she has a special connection with ponies....
Lightning doesn't want to put the saddle on. She must have woken up from a bad dream. So much for a special connection, Pam.
AAAAGH, NO, LIGHTNING IS NOT JEALOUS THAT YOU RODE ANOTHER PONY!!!
Lightning bolts and Lulu's like, "Pam, you shouldn't ride so fast!!!"
Ha. Lightning BOLTS. Wow. That's a good one. -_-
Whenever a pony is behaving badly, the Pony Pals assume something is physically wrong with it. Maybe it's just a badly behaved pony!!!
Anna thinks Pam's jealousy theory is stupid.
Lightning almost tramples Pam. I was really hoping she would. But, of course, she didn't. Darn.
Pam falls and hurts her arm and her "backside". I remember a teacher I had who always said "gluteous maximus" and nothing else. She also didn't want boys and girls to hug each other. "Save those for your mommies."
OMG! Best Pony Pals dialogue EVER! It doesn't even sound like they're talking about a pony!
Pam: I got dumped, now I have to get back on. Lightning an dI have to work this out. I can't let her get away with it.
Anna: But your butt. It will hurt to ride.
Pam: I have to do it! Don't you understand?
Anna: Don't be mad at me. I didn't dump you!
ROFL!!!!! Pam got dumped. Wait...did she just come out? I like how Anna slipped and said "butt".
Lulu: We decided you should go first. In case you have more trouble.
Pam: I don't want to go first.
Anna: It's two against one. So you have to go first. That's the Pony Pal rule.
Pam: That's for a Pony Pal Problem. This isn't a Pony Pal Problem. It's my problem with Lightning.
Pam's controlling behavior has rubbed off on her friends.
Lightning bucks Pam off. If she keeps this us, we could be rid of Pam by the end of the book!
"Lightning's not just mad at you. She's mad at everybody." Awww, poor emo Lightning.
Whoa!! Lulu and Anna both admit they were wrong!! Progress.
But then they insist that Lightning is a Pony Pal problem. So much for that.
GUESS WHAT THEY'RE EATING FOR DINNER AT THE CRANDAL HOUSE. NO, GUESS.
SPAGHETTI. AGAIN.
Jill touches Pam's injured arm and Pam screams. Her parents are worried she is in an abusive relationship. Pam's excuse: "I bumped it."
Pam's theory: Lightning doesn't like me anymore.
Or maybe she never liked you and is just starting to show it.
Anna suggests that Pam is too big for Lightning. So what, she should get rid of her? Actually, that's probably a good idea. Lightning kills. Ha. I wasn't even trying to be funny (not that I succeeded).
The Pony Pals keep saying "butt". WHat foul language! Soon they might start saying, "Shut up," to one another!
NOTHING IS PHYSICALLY WRONG WITH LIGHTNING.
There they go, spying again.
Pam didn't tell her parents about Lightning because she thought it was her fault.
Anna: Don't hug her. Her arm is sore from falling off Lightning.
Way to go, Anna. She gives Mrs. Crandal a heart attack.
Ohhh, THAT'S why Lightning is so crankky! She has Lyme disease and her legs are sore!
Pam: How could Lightning have Lyme disease? There aren't any ticks around now. It's winter and everything is frozen.
Dr. Crandal: She could have been bitten months ago. Some people and animals don't get sick right away.
Like with HIV/AIDS!
Dr. Crandal won't say if Lyme is curable. Right. Lightning's a goner.
Oh dear, Lightning might have this for the rest of her life.
Pam wishes on a star that her pony will heal.
And it RHYMES! "Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight. Please let my pony, Lightning, be all right."
Heh.
The Pony Pals are really mean to little kids.
Pam refuses to think of others and ride Splash for Jill, even though Jill won't be able to go riding UNLESS Pam goes first. But Pam's all, "NO, I have to watch Lightning!"
Then Pam starts bossing Jill around.
Now Pam wants to skip school so she can stay home with Lightning. So far, Lightning isn't that sick: her muscles hurt, and she's cranky, but she's eating and drinking normally and can take care of herself. Just leave her alone, Pam.
Pam is such a drama queen. "I may never ride Lightning again."
HA! She writes up a progress report for Lightning. "Is she lame? Yes." Hahahahaha.
Pam is such a loser!! She's basically never going to ride Splash for her sister, but makes it seem like JILL is the selfish one. She's 5 years old!! Of course she's selfish! Your pony's not going to die if you decide to ride another one!
Oh no. Pam is turning into a not-very-nice person. Well, you weren't exactly Ms. Congeniality before, Pam.
Jill writes her a letter. Even though they live in the same house. Yeah.
Deer Pam. I want to bee like yu. I want to talke to pones to. I heart yu. Jill. I want Litnin to bee better too.
I hate the exaggerated five-year-old spelling problems and handwriting.
The tickle-torture machine? Sounds ominous.
:O The Pony Pals are passing notes in class? OUTRAGEOUS!
Pam misses riding, so her mom allows her to ride Sterling (apparently her horse, though we've never heard of him before today), but Pam wants to stay with Lightning. Whatever. I'd take a beautiful HORSE over a cranky PONY any day.
Okay, so that's it. I have a much better Pony Pals that I can do maybe Monday, because tomorrow's THE SUPERBOWL (woo, go Giants!!).
Ew, I have a way boring Unicorns of Balinor, the next to the last one, but I'm taking out all the sticky note markers and just summarizing it, because that series BORES ME.
Plot: Lightning, Pam's usually well-behaved pony, is acting up! She bites her friends, attacks Pam, and almost tramples several people! Pam thinks Lightning is jealous because Pam rode Splash for all of two seconds. Right. That was her problem in book 6, too.
The Pony Pals, who are a tad smarter than Pam, suggest that Lightning has some disease or illness that is making her act up. Hm, could it be Equine ADHD?
They look online and find a page on "Lyme Disease". The symptoms listed on the page match Lightning's symptoms exactly!!
Dr. Crandal isn't convinced. He sends some of Lightning's DNA to the lab...and she has Lyme Disease!
I always thought Lyme Disease was one of those diseases that you have for the rest of your life. I read it in a Brio story. I guess they were wrong.
The rest of the book, Pam whines about how much she misses her pony and how she's never going to get better.
But she gets better. Obviously. Hurray.
More notes:
The Crandal twins are five again. They shall forever be five, I think.
Isn't Splash difficult every day?
Yeah, Splash is an Appaloosa. Why is he chestnut in the picture?
Mrs. Crandal's students have differing opinions on what a "circle" is. "Ride around in a circle." "Okay! *ride side by side*"
Pam believes she has a special connection with ponies....
Lightning doesn't want to put the saddle on. She must have woken up from a bad dream. So much for a special connection, Pam.
AAAAGH, NO, LIGHTNING IS NOT JEALOUS THAT YOU RODE ANOTHER PONY!!!
Lightning bolts and Lulu's like, "Pam, you shouldn't ride so fast!!!"
Ha. Lightning BOLTS. Wow. That's a good one. -_-
Whenever a pony is behaving badly, the Pony Pals assume something is physically wrong with it. Maybe it's just a badly behaved pony!!!
Anna thinks Pam's jealousy theory is stupid.
Lightning almost tramples Pam. I was really hoping she would. But, of course, she didn't. Darn.
Pam falls and hurts her arm and her "backside". I remember a teacher I had who always said "gluteous maximus" and nothing else. She also didn't want boys and girls to hug each other. "Save those for your mommies."
OMG! Best Pony Pals dialogue EVER! It doesn't even sound like they're talking about a pony!
Pam: I got dumped, now I have to get back on. Lightning an dI have to work this out. I can't let her get away with it.
Anna: But your butt. It will hurt to ride.
Pam: I have to do it! Don't you understand?
Anna: Don't be mad at me. I didn't dump you!
ROFL!!!!! Pam got dumped. Wait...did she just come out? I like how Anna slipped and said "butt".
Lulu: We decided you should go first. In case you have more trouble.
Pam: I don't want to go first.
Anna: It's two against one. So you have to go first. That's the Pony Pal rule.
Pam: That's for a Pony Pal Problem. This isn't a Pony Pal Problem. It's my problem with Lightning.
Pam's controlling behavior has rubbed off on her friends.
Lightning bucks Pam off. If she keeps this us, we could be rid of Pam by the end of the book!
"Lightning's not just mad at you. She's mad at everybody." Awww, poor emo Lightning.
Whoa!! Lulu and Anna both admit they were wrong!! Progress.
But then they insist that Lightning is a Pony Pal problem. So much for that.
GUESS WHAT THEY'RE EATING FOR DINNER AT THE CRANDAL HOUSE. NO, GUESS.
SPAGHETTI. AGAIN.
Jill touches Pam's injured arm and Pam screams. Her parents are worried she is in an abusive relationship. Pam's excuse: "I bumped it."
Pam's theory: Lightning doesn't like me anymore.
Or maybe she never liked you and is just starting to show it.
Anna suggests that Pam is too big for Lightning. So what, she should get rid of her? Actually, that's probably a good idea. Lightning kills. Ha. I wasn't even trying to be funny (not that I succeeded).
The Pony Pals keep saying "butt". WHat foul language! Soon they might start saying, "Shut up," to one another!
NOTHING IS PHYSICALLY WRONG WITH LIGHTNING.
There they go, spying again.
Pam didn't tell her parents about Lightning because she thought it was her fault.
Anna: Don't hug her. Her arm is sore from falling off Lightning.
Way to go, Anna. She gives Mrs. Crandal a heart attack.
Ohhh, THAT'S why Lightning is so crankky! She has Lyme disease and her legs are sore!
Pam: How could Lightning have Lyme disease? There aren't any ticks around now. It's winter and everything is frozen.
Dr. Crandal: She could have been bitten months ago. Some people and animals don't get sick right away.
Like with HIV/AIDS!
Dr. Crandal won't say if Lyme is curable. Right. Lightning's a goner.
Oh dear, Lightning might have this for the rest of her life.
Pam wishes on a star that her pony will heal.
And it RHYMES! "Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight. Please let my pony, Lightning, be all right."
Heh.
The Pony Pals are really mean to little kids.
Pam refuses to think of others and ride Splash for Jill, even though Jill won't be able to go riding UNLESS Pam goes first. But Pam's all, "NO, I have to watch Lightning!"
Then Pam starts bossing Jill around.
Now Pam wants to skip school so she can stay home with Lightning. So far, Lightning isn't that sick: her muscles hurt, and she's cranky, but she's eating and drinking normally and can take care of herself. Just leave her alone, Pam.
Pam is such a drama queen. "I may never ride Lightning again."
HA! She writes up a progress report for Lightning. "Is she lame? Yes." Hahahahaha.
Pam is such a loser!! She's basically never going to ride Splash for her sister, but makes it seem like JILL is the selfish one. She's 5 years old!! Of course she's selfish! Your pony's not going to die if you decide to ride another one!
Oh no. Pam is turning into a not-very-nice person. Well, you weren't exactly Ms. Congeniality before, Pam.
Jill writes her a letter. Even though they live in the same house. Yeah.
Deer Pam. I want to bee like yu. I want to talke to pones to. I heart yu. Jill. I want Litnin to bee better too.
I hate the exaggerated five-year-old spelling problems and handwriting.
The tickle-torture machine? Sounds ominous.
:O The Pony Pals are passing notes in class? OUTRAGEOUS!
Pam misses riding, so her mom allows her to ride Sterling (apparently her horse, though we've never heard of him before today), but Pam wants to stay with Lightning. Whatever. I'd take a beautiful HORSE over a cranky PONY any day.
Okay, so that's it. I have a much better Pony Pals that I can do maybe Monday, because tomorrow's THE SUPERBOWL (woo, go Giants!!).
Ew, I have a way boring Unicorns of Balinor, the next to the last one, but I'm taking out all the sticky note markers and just summarizing it, because that series BORES ME.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Fire is obviously evil, though it gives us warmth and energy, or Avalon: Web of Magic #6: Trial By Fire
Well, here we go. The last Avalon book. Are you ready? It's intense.
Plot: The Dark Soceress is up to her dastardly schemes again. She has captured all the mistwolves to power her crystals or something. A Firemental contacts the mages, telling of them of the great danger. Oh boy, ANOTHER quest! The three mages and their animal friends (Storm, Lyra, and Ozzie) jump into the portal, but get seperated at the nexus. Emily gets thrown into Ozzie's homeland, Adriane and Storm find themselves on a snowy mountain, and Kara, or course, ends up with Lyra at some fairy rave.
Emily heals a bunch of Black Fire victims, Adriane saves some Sea Dragon Riders or whatever from Snow Monsters and finds out that they are also mages, and Kara parties and meets...Be*Tween! Not stereotyped! Be*Tween says some semi-important things, like something about magic rain that will either be good or evil, depending on who wins the Big Battle. Also, Henry Gardener was a wizard. WHOA! Blowing my mind!
They meet up at a cave and find an adorable little mistwolf named Dreamer. Dreamer's parents, as well as several other mistwolfs, have been killed. Adriane is in love with anything mistwolf, so they decide to take the lil youngster along with them.
BAM! Zach appears and starts being all mysterious, like staying far away and being all, "Follow me! Hurry!" Suspicious much? Adriane follows him and is confronted with an army of nightmares, imps, goblin riders, and scores of other nasty creatures. Turns out Zach is really THE SKULTUM!
They're saved by Drake, who is sort of a wimp, but looks intimidating, so that's all that matters. Drake takes them to the castle, where they sneak into the dungeons and find ZACH AND ALL THE MISTWOLVES!! The mistwolves are stuck in the crystals the Dark Sorceress made, where she is draining their magic and forcing them to stay in mist form. If this goes on much longer, they'll all die. Unfortunately, the wolves don't want to be saved because they're all infected with the Black Fire.
The Dark Sorceress, who isn't as stupid as she looks, spellsings and forces Kara to come to her. Doing some more nifty magic, she destroys the unicorn horn and steals Kara's fairy map, combining it with the one she stole from Moonshadow to find the lost portal. While all this is going on (fairy maps take a litle bit of time to combine; it's like having dial-up), she tells Kara that her [Kara's] grandmother was a fairy queen, but that fairy queen was her [the Dark Sorceress'] sister!!! Oh no!! That means the Dark Sorceress is Kara's.....GREAT AUNT! Star Wars much? "No, Kara. I AM your...great aunt."
The fairy maps have successfully combined. But instead of revealing the final portal to Avalon, a unicorn appears. Kara jumps on his back and they ride away into the unknown.
Adriane and Lyra run upstairs to deal with that Witchy Woman, leaving Emily and Zach to deal with the sick wolfies. Storm has placed herself between all the crystals and is lending the other mistwolves her magic. Everyone knows she can't last long doing this, but they don't seem to care? Besides Adriane, that is, who is crying a lot. Emily is supposed to be healing, but all she's doing is whining.
The brave lil unicorn took Kara to Avalon, where she meets a bunch of wraiths who tell her that THERE IS NO PORTAL TO AVALON. ONLY A UNICORN CAN TAKE YOU. Then they give Kara a jewel of her very own and tell her to beat the Skultum.
Adriane is busy battling Ms. Sorceress. Not going too well. Drake, however, manages to distract her armies and squish at least a few warriors.
Kara comes back and battles the Skultum. Having learned that a fairy will lose all his magic once you find out his name (sort of like Rumpelstiltsken?), she has the advantage and they play a little game. Skultum's real name is "Magic", which he says out loud, screwing him, but giving all his magic to Kara.
So the Sorceress is all toying with Adriane and calls in the manticore to finish her off. The manticore comes in...BUT IT'S REALLY KARA!! Kara saves the day!! Not sure how, again.
Kara and Adriane run downstairs and find out Storm is dead. :(
Emily is whining still, but Kara gives her a pep talk and a magic burst, and all the wolves are saved.
And they won the Big Battle, so the magic rain is GOOD! Yay!!
They go back to Fairy Glen, where Adriane becomes bonded to little Dreamer, because he is cute and they are both alone.
Ozzie is also given a magic jewel: a ferret stone! Laaaaame. He is given the chance to return to his normal shape and stay in Aldenmor, but he chooses to go home with the girls. So ends the Web of Magic series. Next week, we start on the Quest For Magic, which is yet unfinished because Rachel Roberts SUCKS.
Whenever there are mistwolves involved, there's always howling and running and, "You are my packmates," in the next two pages.
Moonshadow gets pwned by Skultum. You know, I REALLY don't like Moonshadow.
Lyra: You're thinking again.
Kara: I do have a brain, contrary to popular opinion.
Meaning Adriane?
Aw, Kara feels bad for her mistake! Finally!
Adriane: Where were you?
Kara: I was doing homework.
Adriane: *Huh?*
Because popular don't do homework. EVER. Ha ha, not if you're in Mr. Kovacs' class.
Adriane admits she was wrong about Kara. And she admits she's annoying and has a bad temper? WHOA.
Quit justifying what Kara did! Forgiving is different from, "Oh, we know you MEANT to do good." Nooo, she just wanted to win that singing contest and kick your butt, Adriane.
So lame. Ozzie's tail sets on fire when they're toasting marshmallows. Didn't see that one coming. Didn't they copy that from "Ice Age"...and just about every movie with an animal with a tail hanging around fire?
Yay, a firemental! I was wondering when one of those would show up. Because the other Fairimentals (water, air, earth) are way boring.
Yeah, your grandma will believe that. "Sorry, Grandma, but I'll be on a school trip that didn't require permission slips, a change of clothes, or transportation."
"Kara was wearing designer hiking boots, dark denim jeans, and a faux-fur trimmed safari coat." And she's carrying a red backpack? This outfit doesn't really work. And I can't wrap my head around designer hiking boots; what's the point?
"'One jumps-' Adriane said.
'We all jump!' Kara finished.
And with that, Emily, Adriane, Kara, Ozzie, Lyra, and Storm leaped through the dreamcatcher into the portal beyond.
'Emily!' Ozzie screamed, losing his grip on Emily's hand.
'Ozzie, no!' She cried, lunging for the golden ferret. It was no use; Ozzie, still screaming, fell away from the others and into the nothingness of the dreamcatcher."
Yeah right. That's just what I WISH had happened. He ALWAYS loses his grip. I HAAAAATE Ozzie.
Gee, I'm in the middle of a blizzard. Good thing I'm wearing a sweater and vest! Yeah, I don't think so.
Yay, snow monsters pulled straight from "The Empire Strikes Back"!
Of course purple and red combo means BAD.
They get attacked by flying monkeys. NOT LYING.
Yeah, they get attacked, and Ozzie just starts jumping up and down. That's helpful.
How is Kara not noticing it's a Be*Tween concert? Isn't she obsessed with that band? Doesn't she have their CD?
Of course Adriane is off fighting someone, Emily's off healing someone...and Kara's off partying.
Oh yeah, Be*Tween. They're totally kickin' it.
The drummer's kind of a freak. She's wearing a JUMPSUIT and hitting things. Things that aren't DRUMS.
Wth?
Kara: I'm Kara, what's your name?
Fairy: Me name? Why, I'll wark ye muckle tarrie!
Fairies have Irish accents?
Kara's a PRINCESS!!
A FAIRY princess, though, not real royalty. Lol. ;)
LOL! They get ambushed by Ozzie's cousins and they're all, "A witch! A witch!" That so reminded me of Monty Python! "She turned me into a newt! ...I got better..."
"Elves" are just ripped off hobbits.
Lol.
Sylina: You are Kara, the Blazing Star.
Kara: I LOVE YOUR CD!
I heart Kara.
Wait, the members of Be*Tween give Kara THEIR names, but if any other fairy creature gives you their name, it sucks out their powers. Hm??
Mr. Gardener is a wizard!!!
And Kara is a princess!!!
Awwwww.
"Suddenly, a small dog-sized creature leaped from the bush. It was a furry black wolf puppy with white paws and chest."
That's Dreamer. HE'S SOOOO CUTE.
Lyra: Mistwolves.
Kara: You found them?
Lyra: Some.
Kara: *tear*
I like how Lyra doesn't really care. No emotion.
Kara and Adriane have nicknames for each other. Isn't that a couple thing?
"On a high ridge nearby stood a cute boy in a white shirt, beige pants, and sandals."
Nice outfit.
And Adriane is not the least bit suspicious. The real Zach probably would have run over and been all, "Adriane, I missed you! *crazy blush*"
Duh, it's the Skultum. I told you.
Drake is back!! Woo!!
LOL!
"'Some baby,' Kara muttered as she nervously scanned the skies. For all she knew, full-sized dragons traveled in packs like the pesky dragonflies. She could not handle another fan club - especially not one with members as big as Drake."
THAT'S not self-centered.
Dark Sorceress: You are a powerful fairy creature, are you not?
Skultum: Yes, my mistress.
Dark Sorceress: Yet you could not unlock the map yourself. And worse, you let it fall back into the hands of these...these mages!
Skultum: Mages! They are merely girls!
Yeah, and yet those girls pwned you at that benefit concert in more ways than one!
Not more spellsinging!
Oh no, the mistwolves are trapped inside the crystals! A crystal system that runs on magic? Hm. I wish they would explain how it works in engineer terms.
Okay, they find Zach imprisoned in a prison cell. And his first words are:
Zach: Adriane, you're in my dreams.
:O That was NOT something I needed to know.
"'How long have you been here?' Emily asked, rubbing Zach's arms to help circulation."
Whoa, Emily, you little boyfriend stealer, back off!
Zach: She may have opened portals, but in order to find the source of the magic, she would need two fairy maps.
Yeah, dummy, Kara HAS a fairy map.
Zach is the worst!
Zach: We have to get the mistwolves out. They can't survive in there.
Adriane: Storm is keeping them strong.
Zach: She's only one wolf, she can't hold on to them for long!
Yeah, thanks, buddy.
And she just destroyed the unicorn horn. I'd say you're screwed, Kara.
"Kara, I am your great aunt." That should be a buddy icon.
"I have traveled beoynd what I once was."
Gross, bad pictures coming to mind.
The rest of the Avalon-lovers club is stuck down in the dungeons, so they decide to talk about their feelings. Then they start laughing about things that aren't funny...like Kara's rainbow hair. That memory is not bringing tears of mirth to my eyes.
Omg. This is the most retarded scene I've ever read.
Ozzie: Having friends makes everything better.
Emily: Like laughing till your face hurts.
Ozzie: Sharing banana milk shakes.
Zach: Birthday parties.
Lyra: Finding a true pack mate.
Emily: Watching the sun rise.
Ozzie: Making chocolate chip cookies.
Lyra: Dancing to favorite songs on the radio.
Adriane: Getting a hug.
Then they end with a GROUP HUG of all things. Isn't "pack mate" Storm's thing? And I would SO not share a banana milkshake with a ferret.
AAARGH! And the power of laughter and frienship saves Kara from her great aunt's spell.
I've noticed a lot of unicorns like Kara...but only MALE unicorns.
Since when was Dreamer lost? I don't get it. But he's a natural magic tracker!
Kara: Where are we going?
Unicorn: Home.
What does that tell you? What have you been looking for this entire time?
Awww, Storm is stuck in mist form, too.
I HATE IT WHEN EMILY DOUBTS HERSELF.
"People are dying, Emily."
"I don't know if I can save them...."
"If you don't save them, global warming will speed up."
"I can't do it!
Zach: *to Adriane* I've seen you in action. No one's better.
WHAT?? What is he talking about exactly??? THEY'RE 13!!! That is so messed up.
Aww, Adriane knows Storm is doomed.
Kara: Avalon really does exist!
Wraith: It does for you.
Kara: I don't understand.
Wraith: You choose to see it.
So the people who WANT to see Avalon see what they want to see? Do they make it up as they go along? Confused.
Kara got a unicorn jewel! Cooler than that stupid wolf stone.
Adriane: You're dead meat!
DS: So eloquently put, but I wish you would learn some manners.
Don't we all?
Ew, Skultum takes the shape of Johnny Conrad in leather slacks and an open-neck silk shirt. Is there such thing as leather slacks? Sounds uncomfortable. And "open-neck silk shirt" screams "Fabio".
D-flies save the day!
Why would you assume that the d-flies know Skultum's real name?
Okay, they play charades with the d-flies, and they play it "upside down", but instead of the words being upside down, they're just backwards. There IS a difference.
Nice, Skulty. "MAGIC! Aw, crap."
Finally, Emily, you're getting stuff done.
Ha. Adriane punches the Dark Sorceress and she falls into a portal.
Kara gives a nice little pep talk, then it's back to work!
So dies Stormbringer.
Moonshadow: One mistwolf held a hundred of us. Do you know how she did that? She held us until we were safe because she was thinking of you. Her love for you gave her the strength.
That's way sappy, but really sad and adorable.
I thought the way to grieve was to let go. They're telling her to HOLD ON.
Oh, but Storm isn't dead. She runs with the Spirit Pack now.
So in other words, she's dead.
Awwww, I LOVE DREAMER.
Adriane: I guess we're both alone now.
Dreamer: I'll always be with you.
Ambia: One has followed her heart and found strength.
Gwigg: One has seen in darkness and found light.
Ambia: And one has changed completely and found-
Kara: A jewel!
Ambia: -restraint.
A ferret stone. How...cool.
Ozzie doesn't know what to do (Should I stay or should I go? GO!), so Emily tells him to "follow his heart". Blah.
Lol, Kara gets to keep her shapeshifting abilities. Purple hair!
LAME LAME LAME LAME LAME!
Emily: *tears* I'm going to miss you, Ozzie.
Ozzie: Why, were are you going? 'Cause wherever it is, I'm going, too.
That didn't elicit an "awww" out of me.
So I was listening to Hannah Montana and "Pop Princess" sounds like a love song for Kara. No joke. And "She's No You" sounds like something Zach wrote for Adriane, as does "Girl of the Year". No Emily songs yet.
Okay, a pretty controversial Pony Pals tomorrow.
Controversial in that it deals with cerebral palsy.
Plot: The Dark Soceress is up to her dastardly schemes again. She has captured all the mistwolves to power her crystals or something. A Firemental contacts the mages, telling of them of the great danger. Oh boy, ANOTHER quest! The three mages and their animal friends (Storm, Lyra, and Ozzie) jump into the portal, but get seperated at the nexus. Emily gets thrown into Ozzie's homeland, Adriane and Storm find themselves on a snowy mountain, and Kara, or course, ends up with Lyra at some fairy rave.
Emily heals a bunch of Black Fire victims, Adriane saves some Sea Dragon Riders or whatever from Snow Monsters and finds out that they are also mages, and Kara parties and meets...Be*Tween! Not stereotyped! Be*Tween says some semi-important things, like something about magic rain that will either be good or evil, depending on who wins the Big Battle. Also, Henry Gardener was a wizard. WHOA! Blowing my mind!
They meet up at a cave and find an adorable little mistwolf named Dreamer. Dreamer's parents, as well as several other mistwolfs, have been killed. Adriane is in love with anything mistwolf, so they decide to take the lil youngster along with them.
BAM! Zach appears and starts being all mysterious, like staying far away and being all, "Follow me! Hurry!" Suspicious much? Adriane follows him and is confronted with an army of nightmares, imps, goblin riders, and scores of other nasty creatures. Turns out Zach is really THE SKULTUM!
They're saved by Drake, who is sort of a wimp, but looks intimidating, so that's all that matters. Drake takes them to the castle, where they sneak into the dungeons and find ZACH AND ALL THE MISTWOLVES!! The mistwolves are stuck in the crystals the Dark Sorceress made, where she is draining their magic and forcing them to stay in mist form. If this goes on much longer, they'll all die. Unfortunately, the wolves don't want to be saved because they're all infected with the Black Fire.
The Dark Sorceress, who isn't as stupid as she looks, spellsings and forces Kara to come to her. Doing some more nifty magic, she destroys the unicorn horn and steals Kara's fairy map, combining it with the one she stole from Moonshadow to find the lost portal. While all this is going on (fairy maps take a litle bit of time to combine; it's like having dial-up), she tells Kara that her [Kara's] grandmother was a fairy queen, but that fairy queen was her [the Dark Sorceress'] sister!!! Oh no!! That means the Dark Sorceress is Kara's.....GREAT AUNT! Star Wars much? "No, Kara. I AM your...great aunt."
The fairy maps have successfully combined. But instead of revealing the final portal to Avalon, a unicorn appears. Kara jumps on his back and they ride away into the unknown.
Adriane and Lyra run upstairs to deal with that Witchy Woman, leaving Emily and Zach to deal with the sick wolfies. Storm has placed herself between all the crystals and is lending the other mistwolves her magic. Everyone knows she can't last long doing this, but they don't seem to care? Besides Adriane, that is, who is crying a lot. Emily is supposed to be healing, but all she's doing is whining.
The brave lil unicorn took Kara to Avalon, where she meets a bunch of wraiths who tell her that THERE IS NO PORTAL TO AVALON. ONLY A UNICORN CAN TAKE YOU. Then they give Kara a jewel of her very own and tell her to beat the Skultum.
Adriane is busy battling Ms. Sorceress. Not going too well. Drake, however, manages to distract her armies and squish at least a few warriors.
Kara comes back and battles the Skultum. Having learned that a fairy will lose all his magic once you find out his name (sort of like Rumpelstiltsken?), she has the advantage and they play a little game. Skultum's real name is "Magic", which he says out loud, screwing him, but giving all his magic to Kara.
So the Sorceress is all toying with Adriane and calls in the manticore to finish her off. The manticore comes in...BUT IT'S REALLY KARA!! Kara saves the day!! Not sure how, again.
Kara and Adriane run downstairs and find out Storm is dead. :(
Emily is whining still, but Kara gives her a pep talk and a magic burst, and all the wolves are saved.
And they won the Big Battle, so the magic rain is GOOD! Yay!!
They go back to Fairy Glen, where Adriane becomes bonded to little Dreamer, because he is cute and they are both alone.
Ozzie is also given a magic jewel: a ferret stone! Laaaaame. He is given the chance to return to his normal shape and stay in Aldenmor, but he chooses to go home with the girls. So ends the Web of Magic series. Next week, we start on the Quest For Magic, which is yet unfinished because Rachel Roberts SUCKS.
Whenever there are mistwolves involved, there's always howling and running and, "You are my packmates," in the next two pages.
Moonshadow gets pwned by Skultum. You know, I REALLY don't like Moonshadow.
Lyra: You're thinking again.
Kara: I do have a brain, contrary to popular opinion.
Meaning Adriane?
Aw, Kara feels bad for her mistake! Finally!
Adriane: Where were you?
Kara: I was doing homework.
Adriane: *Huh?*
Because popular don't do homework. EVER. Ha ha, not if you're in Mr. Kovacs' class.
Adriane admits she was wrong about Kara. And she admits she's annoying and has a bad temper? WHOA.
Quit justifying what Kara did! Forgiving is different from, "Oh, we know you MEANT to do good." Nooo, she just wanted to win that singing contest and kick your butt, Adriane.
So lame. Ozzie's tail sets on fire when they're toasting marshmallows. Didn't see that one coming. Didn't they copy that from "Ice Age"...and just about every movie with an animal with a tail hanging around fire?
Yay, a firemental! I was wondering when one of those would show up. Because the other Fairimentals (water, air, earth) are way boring.
Yeah, your grandma will believe that. "Sorry, Grandma, but I'll be on a school trip that didn't require permission slips, a change of clothes, or transportation."
"Kara was wearing designer hiking boots, dark denim jeans, and a faux-fur trimmed safari coat." And she's carrying a red backpack? This outfit doesn't really work. And I can't wrap my head around designer hiking boots; what's the point?
"'One jumps-' Adriane said.
'We all jump!' Kara finished.
And with that, Emily, Adriane, Kara, Ozzie, Lyra, and Storm leaped through the dreamcatcher into the portal beyond.
'Emily!' Ozzie screamed, losing his grip on Emily's hand.
'Ozzie, no!' She cried, lunging for the golden ferret. It was no use; Ozzie, still screaming, fell away from the others and into the nothingness of the dreamcatcher."
Yeah right. That's just what I WISH had happened. He ALWAYS loses his grip. I HAAAAATE Ozzie.
Gee, I'm in the middle of a blizzard. Good thing I'm wearing a sweater and vest! Yeah, I don't think so.
Yay, snow monsters pulled straight from "The Empire Strikes Back"!
Of course purple and red combo means BAD.
They get attacked by flying monkeys. NOT LYING.
Yeah, they get attacked, and Ozzie just starts jumping up and down. That's helpful.
How is Kara not noticing it's a Be*Tween concert? Isn't she obsessed with that band? Doesn't she have their CD?
Of course Adriane is off fighting someone, Emily's off healing someone...and Kara's off partying.
Oh yeah, Be*Tween. They're totally kickin' it.
The drummer's kind of a freak. She's wearing a JUMPSUIT and hitting things. Things that aren't DRUMS.
Wth?
Kara: I'm Kara, what's your name?
Fairy: Me name? Why, I'll wark ye muckle tarrie!
Fairies have Irish accents?
Kara's a PRINCESS!!
A FAIRY princess, though, not real royalty. Lol. ;)
LOL! They get ambushed by Ozzie's cousins and they're all, "A witch! A witch!" That so reminded me of Monty Python! "She turned me into a newt! ...I got better..."
"Elves" are just ripped off hobbits.
Lol.
Sylina: You are Kara, the Blazing Star.
Kara: I LOVE YOUR CD!
I heart Kara.
Wait, the members of Be*Tween give Kara THEIR names, but if any other fairy creature gives you their name, it sucks out their powers. Hm??
Mr. Gardener is a wizard!!!
And Kara is a princess!!!
Awwwww.
"Suddenly, a small dog-sized creature leaped from the bush. It was a furry black wolf puppy with white paws and chest."
That's Dreamer. HE'S SOOOO CUTE.
Lyra: Mistwolves.
Kara: You found them?
Lyra: Some.
Kara: *tear*
I like how Lyra doesn't really care. No emotion.
Kara and Adriane have nicknames for each other. Isn't that a couple thing?
"On a high ridge nearby stood a cute boy in a white shirt, beige pants, and sandals."
Nice outfit.
And Adriane is not the least bit suspicious. The real Zach probably would have run over and been all, "Adriane, I missed you! *crazy blush*"
Duh, it's the Skultum. I told you.
Drake is back!! Woo!!
LOL!
"'Some baby,' Kara muttered as she nervously scanned the skies. For all she knew, full-sized dragons traveled in packs like the pesky dragonflies. She could not handle another fan club - especially not one with members as big as Drake."
THAT'S not self-centered.
Dark Sorceress: You are a powerful fairy creature, are you not?
Skultum: Yes, my mistress.
Dark Sorceress: Yet you could not unlock the map yourself. And worse, you let it fall back into the hands of these...these mages!
Skultum: Mages! They are merely girls!
Yeah, and yet those girls pwned you at that benefit concert in more ways than one!
Not more spellsinging!
Oh no, the mistwolves are trapped inside the crystals! A crystal system that runs on magic? Hm. I wish they would explain how it works in engineer terms.
Okay, they find Zach imprisoned in a prison cell. And his first words are:
Zach: Adriane, you're in my dreams.
:O That was NOT something I needed to know.
"'How long have you been here?' Emily asked, rubbing Zach's arms to help circulation."
Whoa, Emily, you little boyfriend stealer, back off!
Zach: She may have opened portals, but in order to find the source of the magic, she would need two fairy maps.
Yeah, dummy, Kara HAS a fairy map.
Zach is the worst!
Zach: We have to get the mistwolves out. They can't survive in there.
Adriane: Storm is keeping them strong.
Zach: She's only one wolf, she can't hold on to them for long!
Yeah, thanks, buddy.
And she just destroyed the unicorn horn. I'd say you're screwed, Kara.
"Kara, I am your great aunt." That should be a buddy icon.
"I have traveled beoynd what I once was."
Gross, bad pictures coming to mind.
The rest of the Avalon-lovers club is stuck down in the dungeons, so they decide to talk about their feelings. Then they start laughing about things that aren't funny...like Kara's rainbow hair. That memory is not bringing tears of mirth to my eyes.
Omg. This is the most retarded scene I've ever read.
Ozzie: Having friends makes everything better.
Emily: Like laughing till your face hurts.
Ozzie: Sharing banana milk shakes.
Zach: Birthday parties.
Lyra: Finding a true pack mate.
Emily: Watching the sun rise.
Ozzie: Making chocolate chip cookies.
Lyra: Dancing to favorite songs on the radio.
Adriane: Getting a hug.
Then they end with a GROUP HUG of all things. Isn't "pack mate" Storm's thing? And I would SO not share a banana milkshake with a ferret.
AAARGH! And the power of laughter and frienship saves Kara from her great aunt's spell.
I've noticed a lot of unicorns like Kara...but only MALE unicorns.
Since when was Dreamer lost? I don't get it. But he's a natural magic tracker!
Kara: Where are we going?
Unicorn: Home.
What does that tell you? What have you been looking for this entire time?
Awww, Storm is stuck in mist form, too.
I HATE IT WHEN EMILY DOUBTS HERSELF.
"People are dying, Emily."
"I don't know if I can save them...."
"If you don't save them, global warming will speed up."
"I can't do it!
Zach: *to Adriane* I've seen you in action. No one's better.
WHAT?? What is he talking about exactly??? THEY'RE 13!!! That is so messed up.
Aww, Adriane knows Storm is doomed.
Kara: Avalon really does exist!
Wraith: It does for you.
Kara: I don't understand.
Wraith: You choose to see it.
So the people who WANT to see Avalon see what they want to see? Do they make it up as they go along? Confused.
Kara got a unicorn jewel! Cooler than that stupid wolf stone.
Adriane: You're dead meat!
DS: So eloquently put, but I wish you would learn some manners.
Don't we all?
Ew, Skultum takes the shape of Johnny Conrad in leather slacks and an open-neck silk shirt. Is there such thing as leather slacks? Sounds uncomfortable. And "open-neck silk shirt" screams "Fabio".
D-flies save the day!
Why would you assume that the d-flies know Skultum's real name?
Okay, they play charades with the d-flies, and they play it "upside down", but instead of the words being upside down, they're just backwards. There IS a difference.
Nice, Skulty. "MAGIC! Aw, crap."
Finally, Emily, you're getting stuff done.
Ha. Adriane punches the Dark Sorceress and she falls into a portal.
Kara gives a nice little pep talk, then it's back to work!
So dies Stormbringer.
Moonshadow: One mistwolf held a hundred of us. Do you know how she did that? She held us until we were safe because she was thinking of you. Her love for you gave her the strength.
That's way sappy, but really sad and adorable.
I thought the way to grieve was to let go. They're telling her to HOLD ON.
Oh, but Storm isn't dead. She runs with the Spirit Pack now.
So in other words, she's dead.
Awwww, I LOVE DREAMER.
Adriane: I guess we're both alone now.
Dreamer: I'll always be with you.
Ambia: One has followed her heart and found strength.
Gwigg: One has seen in darkness and found light.
Ambia: And one has changed completely and found-
Kara: A jewel!
Ambia: -restraint.
A ferret stone. How...cool.
Ozzie doesn't know what to do (Should I stay or should I go? GO!), so Emily tells him to "follow his heart". Blah.
Lol, Kara gets to keep her shapeshifting abilities. Purple hair!
LAME LAME LAME LAME LAME!
Emily: *tears* I'm going to miss you, Ozzie.
Ozzie: Why, were are you going? 'Cause wherever it is, I'm going, too.
That didn't elicit an "awww" out of me.
So I was listening to Hannah Montana and "Pop Princess" sounds like a love song for Kara. No joke. And "She's No You" sounds like something Zach wrote for Adriane, as does "Girl of the Year". No Emily songs yet.
Okay, a pretty controversial Pony Pals tomorrow.
Controversial in that it deals with cerebral palsy.
Monday, December 24, 2007
Of course the Native American girl has to bond with a mistwolf, or Avalon: Web of Magic #3: Cry of the Wolf
Okay, I'm trying to finish this pretty quickly because I have a Christmas Eve service to go to in about an hour (I'm starting this at 2:51, but knowing me, I'll probably finish around 4:00).
As you can see on the cover, this is the first glimpse we've seen of Stormbringer, the elusive mistwolf, and that little hottie (psh) in the back there is Zach. It looks like Adriane has a lip ring...psyche, that's an indentation on my book.
Plot: Adriane and Stormbringer are bestest friends and they tell each other everything. Storm admits to Adriane that she's lonely and wishes she weren't the last mistwolf alive.
Well, it turns out she's not. A bunch of mistwolves pop through a portal into Ravenswood and whisk Stormbringer away. Storm doesn't want to leave Adriane, but come on. She tells her "pack mate" that she will always be able to find her.
So Adriane is heartbroken and convinces her friends to reopen the portal so she can contact Storm...and gets pulled inside and dumped in the Shadowlands! Sucks for you. In the Shadowlands, she meets a deranged ape thing named Scorge who is looking for his magic rock. No comment. He runs away and Adriane finds the rock, which can move on its own and seems to understand everything she says. They become BFFs and Adriane dubs him Rocky.
Then imps attack them, obviously after Rocky! A boy named Zach appears on a griffin named *snicker* Wind Dancer and saves their butts.
Bla bla bla. Zach feeds Adriane and they talk. Adriane finds out that Zach's parents were mages and they were killed and a bunch of FASCINATING stuff.
A bunch of scary, magical creatures keep attacking them. They must REALLY want that rock. Adriane saves them all this time, but Windy is greviously wounded. They fly through another portal into the Fairy Glen and Windy dies.
But that's okay, because there are Fairimentals in this new portalicious place, and boy, do they like to talk! Turns out "Rocky" is a dragon egg. Hmm, sounds vaguely "Eragon"-ish. They also reveal Adriane's real quest (she'd been very vague on details with Zach) and he flips out, because he was raised by mistwolves.
Whaaaa? Adriane drags the story out of him: Zach was raised by mistwolves, but in order to prove himself to one wolf brother, he tried to kill the creature that destroyed his parents, and in the process led several mistwolves into a trap. Adriane's all, "Awww, that sucks, but you have to be strong," and a bunch of moving stuff. Sort of awkward/boring. She also finds out that Zach has never had a birthday party; this is important (sort of). Then Adriane leaves to go on her quest. By herself. All on her owney.
And she gets attacked by magical creatures. AGAIN. But Zach and Rocky save her, Rocky hatches into a baby dragon and imprints on Adriane, so Adriane renames him "Drake". Phew. That's a lot of information.
Not done yet. Adriane somehow gets captured in order to save Zach and Drake, and is taken to the dark sorceress that we met in book #2. She throws Adriane into the dungeon. Figures. There Adriane meets a bunch of fellow prisoners who are suffering from the Black Fire (don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but it's a magical disease that Lyra had, and a million of the animals in Ravenswood had, and it's pretty serious, but apparently really easy to cure because Emily does it ALL THE TIME, but anyway....). One of them is Silver Eyes, a mistwolf Zach had thought he'd killed. Guess you were wrong!
The d-flies come back and open a portal, allowing Emily to heal all the animals. Neither she nor Kara go THROUGH the portal to try to HELP Adriane, they just sit behind their computer and heal through the internet with magic. LAAAME. So Adriane, now strong, leads the animals on a revolt. They get out of the castle. Yay!
But it turns out it was a trap. The manticore from book #1 has a trillion soldiers behind him and he's mostly likely going to kill them all, but Zach and the mistwolves save them all. Yaaaaaay???
Then Adriane throws a birthday party for Zach. It's touching. Then she goes home. I REALLY suck at summarizing.
More notes:
Adriane and Storm are running through the woods together. What is this, Pocahantas?
Ugh, way to reference "George of the Jungle". "Adriane! Watch out for that....tree."
Now they're rolling down a hill together? Like Anakin and Padme?
Dang. Turns out Adriane's parents abandoned her at Ravenswood so they could travel the world. That sucks.
Adriane believes she's a wolf. Why isn't she being locked up?
Ooh, never mess with a mistwolf named MOONSHADOW. Rawr.
Turns out there are billions of mistwolves. Storm just missed them.
Lame. Storm's all, "Oh, thanks for the fun times, I'm going to leave forever now!"
Okay, that Marcus guy is kind of an idiot. "It's beauty and the beast!"
Oh. Dragons must be real because Ozzie's cousin's friend's friend's brother-in-law's neighbor's cousin's schoolmate's grandma saw one!
"Dragons are very rare and powerful magicla creatures. They have long been extinct on Aldenmor." FORESHADOWING!!
Okay, here are the dragonflies and their colors.
Barney = purple
Fiona = red
Goldie = yellow
Fred = blue
Blaze = orange
"Instead of playing our regular 'Throw the Shoe at the Dragonflies' game that you all love so much, I have a special new game for us to play. It's called the 'Open the Portal' game! Yay!" Heh.
Emily grabs Adriane to prevent her from being sucked in and Ozzie is just hopping up and down. Thanks for the help, Ozzie.
Oh no. Scorge talks like Jar Jar Binks.
"You're not from around here..."
"No, I'm from...over the rainbow."
Right.
Adriane, you do realize you're talking to a rock.
"Is that what you are, Rocky? A pet rock? Yes, you are! Who's the good widdle pet rock? You! That's who!"
Then again, I'm talking to a fictional character....
"Let's rock and roll!"
No comment.
Ha. Rocky goes bowling.
Ew, Zach starts poking Adriane and pulling her hair. You're not 2.
I think this is supposed to show us how witty and edgy Adriane is.
Zach: Where are you from?
Adriane: Over the rainbow.
Zach: How old are you?
Adriane: One hundred and fifty.
WHAT KIND OF NAME IS WIND DANCER?? That reminds me of that Sky Dancer show I loved so much.
Okay, that's sad, because Christopher Paolini BASICALLY copied this book with the whole, "It's not a stone, it's an egg," deal.
Okay, Zach needs to get out more.
Adriane: What do we do? Sit on it?
Zach: *laughing uncontrollably* No, I don't think it's a chicken.
"A human had killed his pack mother. But the only other human here was Zach."
Then it must have been Zach.
Zach destroys the map to the Fairy Glen. Psycho.
Zach suddenly has a sword?? Question mark?
Oh, it's an Elven Spirit Sword. I wonder, did ELROND make it for you? Or was it passed down from father to son from the great warrior Isildur?
Okay, I started laughing when Windy died. I felt bad, but Adriane was all, "BUT THESE FLOWERS HAVE HEALING MAGIC! THEY CAN HELP HIM!" Then she falls to her knees and is all, "[Vader]NOOOOOOO![/Vader]"
I REALLY doubt that the Fairimentals are wearing any clothes. "Heart of Avalon" has a naked water Fairimental on the cover.
Adriane: My friend...that I'm looking for, is not exactly human.
Zach: What is she?
Adriane: A mistwolf.
Zach: *flips out* A MISTWOLF!?? *runs away*
Um, what was up with that?
Uh, creepy, they commune with trees.
They're looking at a picture of Zach and his parents.
Zach: That's me.
Adriane: The baby I take it.
....
No, Adriane, your parents have never been killed by a manticore, don't try to relate.
"You're everything I've always dreamed of being. Strong, confident, independent. And you understand what's going on around here. How are we supposed to figure this all out without your help?"
Wow. Flattery works, too.
"How can I help? You need a knight, a hero, like Zach."
What gives you the impression that he's a hero? I was under the impression that he's an angry, pubescent teenage boy.
"'Human,' Moonshadow said to her. With a start, Adriane realized the pack leader was talking to her."
Well, yes, seeing as you're the only human in sight.
"And I like your name, Drake. It's so smooth, like a rock star. Rock star, get it?"
ENOUGH WITH THE ROCK PUNS!!
Okay, they're attacked by things that look like Rocksteady and Bebop from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Zach rescues her. Again. How convenient.
THOSE ARE SO NOT ORCS!! LIES!!
Oh, you shouldn't assume that dragons are horrible monsters. That's discrimination. OBVIOUSLY you've never been to diversity training, Zack.
"Zach's butt was suddenly crisped with soot." Mmm, delicious.
Some more Jedi fight scenes. Aww, Adriane, you're so selfless!
She just randomly faints. Nice.
The dark sorceress looks like the falcons from "Snakecharm" and "Falcondance".
Okay, the dark sorceress isn't really evil, if all she does is capture teenage girls and tell them wolves are stupid.
"Oh, how is your friend kara? I'm looking forward to meeting her again." FORESHADOWING!!
Adriane has the Black Fire now. She is going to die. Wait! What's that sound?
POP! POP! POP! POP! POP!
Yay, the dragonflies are back!
Aw, Silver Eyes doesn't blame Zach.
Gee, how will we get out of the castle? Don't worry, Lyra knows how! AARGH! Why can't they figure stuff out for themselves? Heh, coming from someone who is practically failing math....
Oh dear, the manticore is back.
Violence and blood.
Aaaaand now you're outnumbered.
Okay, lame.
Adriane: Save yourself!
Storm: I would not be able to go on without you.
Adriane: Really?
Storm: Yes.
Adriane: I love you, Storm.
Storm: I love you, Adriane.
A magic net is about to fall on them...but at the last moment, all the mistwolves turn to mist, rendering them invisible! Wait, invisible things can still be caught by nets.... Doesn't make any sense.
Manticore: I will kill you as easily as I killed your parents, boy!
Moonshadow: Then you will have to kill me as well!
Awww, Moonshadow comes through for Zach. Wth, manticore, why would you ADMIT that? They'll be taking you to Fairy Alcatraz.
Oooh, Adriane looks so fashionable in a purple leaf.
Zach is kind of creepy. "What, he likes his tummy rubbed!"
Awww, a hamster-size dog.
Zach gets a magic jewel! It's a dragon stone! Now he's bonded to Drake! Yay!
Ha. Kara hits on Zach.
YES! I did it in LESS THAN AN HOUR! w00t!!! Okay, now I have to go to church. Seeyas!
As you can see on the cover, this is the first glimpse we've seen of Stormbringer, the elusive mistwolf, and that little hottie (psh) in the back there is Zach. It looks like Adriane has a lip ring...psyche, that's an indentation on my book.
Plot: Adriane and Stormbringer are bestest friends and they tell each other everything. Storm admits to Adriane that she's lonely and wishes she weren't the last mistwolf alive.
Well, it turns out she's not. A bunch of mistwolves pop through a portal into Ravenswood and whisk Stormbringer away. Storm doesn't want to leave Adriane, but come on. She tells her "pack mate" that she will always be able to find her.
So Adriane is heartbroken and convinces her friends to reopen the portal so she can contact Storm...and gets pulled inside and dumped in the Shadowlands! Sucks for you. In the Shadowlands, she meets a deranged ape thing named Scorge who is looking for his magic rock. No comment. He runs away and Adriane finds the rock, which can move on its own and seems to understand everything she says. They become BFFs and Adriane dubs him Rocky.
Then imps attack them, obviously after Rocky! A boy named Zach appears on a griffin named *snicker* Wind Dancer and saves their butts.
Bla bla bla. Zach feeds Adriane and they talk. Adriane finds out that Zach's parents were mages and they were killed and a bunch of FASCINATING stuff.
A bunch of scary, magical creatures keep attacking them. They must REALLY want that rock. Adriane saves them all this time, but Windy is greviously wounded. They fly through another portal into the Fairy Glen and Windy dies.
But that's okay, because there are Fairimentals in this new portalicious place, and boy, do they like to talk! Turns out "Rocky" is a dragon egg. Hmm, sounds vaguely "Eragon"-ish. They also reveal Adriane's real quest (she'd been very vague on details with Zach) and he flips out, because he was raised by mistwolves.
Whaaaa? Adriane drags the story out of him: Zach was raised by mistwolves, but in order to prove himself to one wolf brother, he tried to kill the creature that destroyed his parents, and in the process led several mistwolves into a trap. Adriane's all, "Awww, that sucks, but you have to be strong," and a bunch of moving stuff. Sort of awkward/boring. She also finds out that Zach has never had a birthday party; this is important (sort of). Then Adriane leaves to go on her quest. By herself. All on her owney.
And she gets attacked by magical creatures. AGAIN. But Zach and Rocky save her, Rocky hatches into a baby dragon and imprints on Adriane, so Adriane renames him "Drake". Phew. That's a lot of information.
Not done yet. Adriane somehow gets captured in order to save Zach and Drake, and is taken to the dark sorceress that we met in book #2. She throws Adriane into the dungeon. Figures. There Adriane meets a bunch of fellow prisoners who are suffering from the Black Fire (don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but it's a magical disease that Lyra had, and a million of the animals in Ravenswood had, and it's pretty serious, but apparently really easy to cure because Emily does it ALL THE TIME, but anyway....). One of them is Silver Eyes, a mistwolf Zach had thought he'd killed. Guess you were wrong!
The d-flies come back and open a portal, allowing Emily to heal all the animals. Neither she nor Kara go THROUGH the portal to try to HELP Adriane, they just sit behind their computer and heal through the internet with magic. LAAAME. So Adriane, now strong, leads the animals on a revolt. They get out of the castle. Yay!
But it turns out it was a trap. The manticore from book #1 has a trillion soldiers behind him and he's mostly likely going to kill them all, but Zach and the mistwolves save them all. Yaaaaaay???
Then Adriane throws a birthday party for Zach. It's touching. Then she goes home. I REALLY suck at summarizing.
More notes:
Adriane and Storm are running through the woods together. What is this, Pocahantas?
Ugh, way to reference "George of the Jungle". "Adriane! Watch out for that....tree."
Now they're rolling down a hill together? Like Anakin and Padme?
Dang. Turns out Adriane's parents abandoned her at Ravenswood so they could travel the world. That sucks.
Adriane believes she's a wolf. Why isn't she being locked up?
Ooh, never mess with a mistwolf named MOONSHADOW. Rawr.
Turns out there are billions of mistwolves. Storm just missed them.
Lame. Storm's all, "Oh, thanks for the fun times, I'm going to leave forever now!"
Okay, that Marcus guy is kind of an idiot. "It's beauty and the beast!"
Oh. Dragons must be real because Ozzie's cousin's friend's friend's brother-in-law's neighbor's cousin's schoolmate's grandma saw one!
"Dragons are very rare and powerful magicla creatures. They have long been extinct on Aldenmor." FORESHADOWING!!
Okay, here are the dragonflies and their colors.
Barney = purple
Fiona = red
Goldie = yellow
Fred = blue
Blaze = orange
"Instead of playing our regular 'Throw the Shoe at the Dragonflies' game that you all love so much, I have a special new game for us to play. It's called the 'Open the Portal' game! Yay!" Heh.
Emily grabs Adriane to prevent her from being sucked in and Ozzie is just hopping up and down. Thanks for the help, Ozzie.
Oh no. Scorge talks like Jar Jar Binks.
"You're not from around here..."
"No, I'm from...over the rainbow."
Right.
Adriane, you do realize you're talking to a rock.
"Is that what you are, Rocky? A pet rock? Yes, you are! Who's the good widdle pet rock? You! That's who!"
Then again, I'm talking to a fictional character....
"Let's rock and roll!"
No comment.
Ha. Rocky goes bowling.
Ew, Zach starts poking Adriane and pulling her hair. You're not 2.
I think this is supposed to show us how witty and edgy Adriane is.
Zach: Where are you from?
Adriane: Over the rainbow.
Zach: How old are you?
Adriane: One hundred and fifty.
WHAT KIND OF NAME IS WIND DANCER?? That reminds me of that Sky Dancer show I loved so much.
Okay, that's sad, because Christopher Paolini BASICALLY copied this book with the whole, "It's not a stone, it's an egg," deal.
Okay, Zach needs to get out more.
Adriane: What do we do? Sit on it?
Zach: *laughing uncontrollably* No, I don't think it's a chicken.
"A human had killed his pack mother. But the only other human here was Zach."
Then it must have been Zach.
Zach destroys the map to the Fairy Glen. Psycho.
Zach suddenly has a sword?? Question mark?
Oh, it's an Elven Spirit Sword. I wonder, did ELROND make it for you? Or was it passed down from father to son from the great warrior Isildur?
Okay, I started laughing when Windy died. I felt bad, but Adriane was all, "BUT THESE FLOWERS HAVE HEALING MAGIC! THEY CAN HELP HIM!" Then she falls to her knees and is all, "[Vader]NOOOOOOO![/Vader]"
I REALLY doubt that the Fairimentals are wearing any clothes. "Heart of Avalon" has a naked water Fairimental on the cover.
Adriane: My friend...that I'm looking for, is not exactly human.
Zach: What is she?
Adriane: A mistwolf.
Zach: *flips out* A MISTWOLF!?? *runs away*
Um, what was up with that?
Uh, creepy, they commune with trees.
They're looking at a picture of Zach and his parents.
Zach: That's me.
Adriane: The baby I take it.
....
No, Adriane, your parents have never been killed by a manticore, don't try to relate.
"You're everything I've always dreamed of being. Strong, confident, independent. And you understand what's going on around here. How are we supposed to figure this all out without your help?"
Wow. Flattery works, too.
"How can I help? You need a knight, a hero, like Zach."
What gives you the impression that he's a hero? I was under the impression that he's an angry, pubescent teenage boy.
"'Human,' Moonshadow said to her. With a start, Adriane realized the pack leader was talking to her."
Well, yes, seeing as you're the only human in sight.
"And I like your name, Drake. It's so smooth, like a rock star. Rock star, get it?"
ENOUGH WITH THE ROCK PUNS!!
Okay, they're attacked by things that look like Rocksteady and Bebop from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Zach rescues her. Again. How convenient.
THOSE ARE SO NOT ORCS!! LIES!!
Oh, you shouldn't assume that dragons are horrible monsters. That's discrimination. OBVIOUSLY you've never been to diversity training, Zack.
"Zach's butt was suddenly crisped with soot." Mmm, delicious.
Some more Jedi fight scenes. Aww, Adriane, you're so selfless!
She just randomly faints. Nice.
The dark sorceress looks like the falcons from "Snakecharm" and "Falcondance".
Okay, the dark sorceress isn't really evil, if all she does is capture teenage girls and tell them wolves are stupid.
"Oh, how is your friend kara? I'm looking forward to meeting her again." FORESHADOWING!!
Adriane has the Black Fire now. She is going to die. Wait! What's that sound?
POP! POP! POP! POP! POP!
Yay, the dragonflies are back!
Aw, Silver Eyes doesn't blame Zach.
Gee, how will we get out of the castle? Don't worry, Lyra knows how! AARGH! Why can't they figure stuff out for themselves? Heh, coming from someone who is practically failing math....
Oh dear, the manticore is back.
Violence and blood.
Aaaaand now you're outnumbered.
Okay, lame.
Adriane: Save yourself!
Storm: I would not be able to go on without you.
Adriane: Really?
Storm: Yes.
Adriane: I love you, Storm.
Storm: I love you, Adriane.
A magic net is about to fall on them...but at the last moment, all the mistwolves turn to mist, rendering them invisible! Wait, invisible things can still be caught by nets.... Doesn't make any sense.
Manticore: I will kill you as easily as I killed your parents, boy!
Moonshadow: Then you will have to kill me as well!
Awww, Moonshadow comes through for Zach. Wth, manticore, why would you ADMIT that? They'll be taking you to Fairy Alcatraz.
Oooh, Adriane looks so fashionable in a purple leaf.
Zach is kind of creepy. "What, he likes his tummy rubbed!"
Awww, a hamster-size dog.
Zach gets a magic jewel! It's a dragon stone! Now he's bonded to Drake! Yay!
Ha. Kara hits on Zach.
YES! I did it in LESS THAN AN HOUR! w00t!!! Okay, now I have to go to church. Seeyas!
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Because you had a bad day, or Pony Pals #18: The Saddest Pony
This is another book that makes me feel very, very bad for Pam. The Pony Pals are ganging up on her again and again Pam has to apologize for HER bad behavior. I wish she could escape these people. But if you ask me who's my favorite Pony Pal, I'm not sure if I have one. I'd have to say that I can probably tolerate Pam the longest, followed by (surprise!) Anna, then Lulu on the very bottom. I think #16 ruined her character for me. I hope you'll shake your head with me as we read this sad, sad tale.
Plot: Pam is out riding Lightning when she finds a pony in a seemingly abandoned barn. The pony looks very sick and the barn is in terrible condition. Pam tells the Pony Pals and they go back to visit the pony, but are caught by its owners.
Lulu and Anna want to call the police and accuse the owners of animal abuse, but Pam doesn't actually believe the owners are guilty of animal abuse. Lulu and Anna thinks this is stupid and emotionally abuse her for several pages.
Finally, the Pony Pals find out that the old people that own Ginger (the old, sick pony) are really nice and they're just poor, so they don't take of Ginger. But Lulu and Anna don't admit they were wrong and require an apology from Pam. Grrr....
The Pony Pals visit the Quinns (the old people) and offer to take care of Ginger and give them food. They also give the Quinns a cat to replace their old one and have Dr. Crandal give all the animals antibiotics. And everyone is happy.
More notes:
Jeanne Betancourt has learned personification. Actually, she learned that a long time ago, but her usage of it in this book are better.
Another example of people not controlling their ponies.
Anna: Pam, we packed the best lucnh. Ham and cheese sandwiches and, of course, brownies.
You would think they would get tired of brownies. And ham and cheese sandwiches aren't that great. At least not together.
Yeah. Eating lunch in a ghost town. Fun.
I see we have a new illustrator.... The girls actually look their age, but I hate her style. The author's, that is.
Say what? The Crandals own three ponies (Lightning, Splash, Daisy) and board several horses. Who are those several? Is Paint one of them?
Isn't it wrong to spy on people? They should at least use a different word than "spy".
"Ginger. Ginger. You are a bad old girl." That makes me laugh. No idea why.
Why is she inspecting Ginger's hoof? She only inspects one hoof. I would understand it if she did all four, but only one? Don't see the point of this.
Anna's drawings have gotten even worse because of the new illustrator. I miss Paul Bachem.
OMG, ANNA SAID "POOP"! HALLELUJAH!!
Do the police actually handle animal abuse charges? I didn't think they did. Maybe I'm wrong.
They need more evidence, Pam says. She just disagreed with the Pony Pals. Bring on the manipulation and emotional abuse.
"It's two against one. You have to do what Lulu and I want." Shut up, Anna.
What a mature response: "I know more about ponies than you do. You have to do what I want."
Pam says, "Let's go," and Anna thinks she's being bossy. Shut up, whore.
Anna's just being a brat. HATE HATE HATE. She and Lulu are pretty even on the annoyance scale now.
Gee, something couldn't be wrong with Ginger's teeth to make her not want to eat, could there?
Who would want to steal an old sick pony?
Oh, right, Pam, run away. That's pretty much a confession right there.
"They're horrible. That's why they abuse Ginger."
"He was pointing a gun at you. He wanted to shoot you."
1. They're poor and old, not horrible.
2. IT WAS A FREAKING CANE! How do you mistake a cane for a gun????
Lulu: Pam, why don't you want to tell the police about Ginger's owners?
Pam: We dont' know anything about that old couple. THey might need help, too.
This is the closest Anna and Lulu get to apologizing.
Anna: Maybe you're right.
Lulu: We don't even know their names. There's a lot we don't know about them.
That sounded like Lulu was blaming Anna. Now for the unnecessary apology.
Pam: I'm sorry I was so bossy.
Anna: I hate it when you act like that.
YOU LITTLE HYPOCRITE!!!
Pam: I know. I hate it, too.
Anna: We forgive you.
Ho.
Why, Pam?
Richard and Gertrude Quinn. Have lived on farm for seventy years.
Why not just make it a complete sentence??
My grandma's name is Shirley.
They had a black cat. Just like Shadow.
HOLY CRAP! Ginger used to pull a milk cart 30 years ago. How old is she, then???
All of a sudden Lulu is opposed to spying. Gee, you weren't opposed to it when you spied on Kim, much less 20 pages ago.
Duh. They're old. They yell because they can't hear.
The dog's name is Snappy. Heh. That's what Bob said about Oggy. That really makes me want a dog named Snappy.
They Pony Pals are even controlling Pam's breakfast choices?
Lulu: We both want orange juice and French toast. What about you?
Don't follow the crowd, Pam....
Pam: I'll have the same thing.
Aargh.
Oh my goodness. A very horrible drawing that Anna is supposed to have done. It's worse than her previous drawings.
I didn't know social workers helped old people.
Oh no, a moving story about Mrs. Harley's childhood. The Quinns gave her free milk and eggs.
Again, why would they want to steal Ginger, who is really old, has arthritis, and overlong teeth?
Aw, a picture of the Quinns. They're so adorable.
Violet Croft? That's Anna's grandma's name. That's a horrible name.
Wonder if she was related to Lara Croft....
They spell thank you "thankyou". Who edited this book??
Toby is not a cat name. I KNEW THE DEAD CAT WAS THE REASON FOR ALL THE SADNESS!!!
Duh. I told you her teeth were too long.
The Crandals have a palomino thoroughbred named J.B. Such a lie.
Ginger is 35. Daaang.
MR. CONWAY IS BACK! THE CREEPY GUY WHO TOLD GHOST STORIES FROM SUPER SPECIAL #3!
Ew, they wish upon a star.
I want Meals on Wheels. Pasta every night.
I find it weird that they consider Shadow Acorn's cat.
Anna is being way annoying and pessimistic.
Ew, Acorn is being creepy with Shadow.
Ginger isn't sad because she has arthritis and orthodontial problems. She just misses her kitty friend. Right.
So they decide to give away Fat Cat's last kitten. HOW IS HE STILL A KITTEN, at least 20 summers have passed since that incident. Maybe he is frozen in time, too.
Pam is having second thoughts about this. Just give them Fat Cat, no one likes her anyway. Keep Pal for yourself if you like him so much.
Ponies aren't often frightened by the meowing of cats.
Apparently everyone who's ever lived is somehow connected to the Quinns. Even people in real life are somehow connected to two fictional old people in a children's book.
OMG, PAL IS SO ADORABLE!
Heh. Ginger likes pain meds.
That was awful. The more I think about it, I think the Pony Pals are a cult. Because they're exclusive, secretive, and no one questions the leadership.
I need to read the three steps of identifying a cult again. Party on.
I HATE ANNA.
Plot: Pam is out riding Lightning when she finds a pony in a seemingly abandoned barn. The pony looks very sick and the barn is in terrible condition. Pam tells the Pony Pals and they go back to visit the pony, but are caught by its owners.
Lulu and Anna want to call the police and accuse the owners of animal abuse, but Pam doesn't actually believe the owners are guilty of animal abuse. Lulu and Anna thinks this is stupid and emotionally abuse her for several pages.
Finally, the Pony Pals find out that the old people that own Ginger (the old, sick pony) are really nice and they're just poor, so they don't take of Ginger. But Lulu and Anna don't admit they were wrong and require an apology from Pam. Grrr....
The Pony Pals visit the Quinns (the old people) and offer to take care of Ginger and give them food. They also give the Quinns a cat to replace their old one and have Dr. Crandal give all the animals antibiotics. And everyone is happy.
More notes:
Jeanne Betancourt has learned personification. Actually, she learned that a long time ago, but her usage of it in this book are better.
Another example of people not controlling their ponies.
Anna: Pam, we packed the best lucnh. Ham and cheese sandwiches and, of course, brownies.
You would think they would get tired of brownies. And ham and cheese sandwiches aren't that great. At least not together.
Yeah. Eating lunch in a ghost town. Fun.
I see we have a new illustrator.... The girls actually look their age, but I hate her style. The author's, that is.
Say what? The Crandals own three ponies (Lightning, Splash, Daisy) and board several horses. Who are those several? Is Paint one of them?
Isn't it wrong to spy on people? They should at least use a different word than "spy".
"Ginger. Ginger. You are a bad old girl." That makes me laugh. No idea why.
Why is she inspecting Ginger's hoof? She only inspects one hoof. I would understand it if she did all four, but only one? Don't see the point of this.
Anna's drawings have gotten even worse because of the new illustrator. I miss Paul Bachem.
OMG, ANNA SAID "POOP"! HALLELUJAH!!
Do the police actually handle animal abuse charges? I didn't think they did. Maybe I'm wrong.
They need more evidence, Pam says. She just disagreed with the Pony Pals. Bring on the manipulation and emotional abuse.
"It's two against one. You have to do what Lulu and I want." Shut up, Anna.
What a mature response: "I know more about ponies than you do. You have to do what I want."
Pam says, "Let's go," and Anna thinks she's being bossy. Shut up, whore.
Anna's just being a brat. HATE HATE HATE. She and Lulu are pretty even on the annoyance scale now.
Gee, something couldn't be wrong with Ginger's teeth to make her not want to eat, could there?
Who would want to steal an old sick pony?
Oh, right, Pam, run away. That's pretty much a confession right there.
"They're horrible. That's why they abuse Ginger."
"He was pointing a gun at you. He wanted to shoot you."
1. They're poor and old, not horrible.
2. IT WAS A FREAKING CANE! How do you mistake a cane for a gun????
Lulu: Pam, why don't you want to tell the police about Ginger's owners?
Pam: We dont' know anything about that old couple. THey might need help, too.
This is the closest Anna and Lulu get to apologizing.
Anna: Maybe you're right.
Lulu: We don't even know their names. There's a lot we don't know about them.
That sounded like Lulu was blaming Anna. Now for the unnecessary apology.
Pam: I'm sorry I was so bossy.
Anna: I hate it when you act like that.
YOU LITTLE HYPOCRITE!!!
Pam: I know. I hate it, too.
Anna: We forgive you.
Ho.
Why, Pam?
Richard and Gertrude Quinn. Have lived on farm for seventy years.
Why not just make it a complete sentence??
My grandma's name is Shirley.
They had a black cat. Just like Shadow.
HOLY CRAP! Ginger used to pull a milk cart 30 years ago. How old is she, then???
All of a sudden Lulu is opposed to spying. Gee, you weren't opposed to it when you spied on Kim, much less 20 pages ago.
Duh. They're old. They yell because they can't hear.
The dog's name is Snappy. Heh. That's what Bob said about Oggy. That really makes me want a dog named Snappy.
They Pony Pals are even controlling Pam's breakfast choices?
Lulu: We both want orange juice and French toast. What about you?
Don't follow the crowd, Pam....
Pam: I'll have the same thing.
Aargh.
Oh my goodness. A very horrible drawing that Anna is supposed to have done. It's worse than her previous drawings.
I didn't know social workers helped old people.
Oh no, a moving story about Mrs. Harley's childhood. The Quinns gave her free milk and eggs.
Again, why would they want to steal Ginger, who is really old, has arthritis, and overlong teeth?
Aw, a picture of the Quinns. They're so adorable.
Violet Croft? That's Anna's grandma's name. That's a horrible name.
Wonder if she was related to Lara Croft....
They spell thank you "thankyou". Who edited this book??
Toby is not a cat name. I KNEW THE DEAD CAT WAS THE REASON FOR ALL THE SADNESS!!!
Duh. I told you her teeth were too long.
The Crandals have a palomino thoroughbred named J.B. Such a lie.
Ginger is 35. Daaang.
MR. CONWAY IS BACK! THE CREEPY GUY WHO TOLD GHOST STORIES FROM SUPER SPECIAL #3!
Ew, they wish upon a star.
I want Meals on Wheels. Pasta every night.
I find it weird that they consider Shadow Acorn's cat.
Anna is being way annoying and pessimistic.
Ew, Acorn is being creepy with Shadow.
Ginger isn't sad because she has arthritis and orthodontial problems. She just misses her kitty friend. Right.
So they decide to give away Fat Cat's last kitten. HOW IS HE STILL A KITTEN, at least 20 summers have passed since that incident. Maybe he is frozen in time, too.
Pam is having second thoughts about this. Just give them Fat Cat, no one likes her anyway. Keep Pal for yourself if you like him so much.
Ponies aren't often frightened by the meowing of cats.
Apparently everyone who's ever lived is somehow connected to the Quinns. Even people in real life are somehow connected to two fictional old people in a children's book.
OMG, PAL IS SO ADORABLE!
Heh. Ginger likes pain meds.
That was awful. The more I think about it, I think the Pony Pals are a cult. Because they're exclusive, secretive, and no one questions the leadership.
I need to read the three steps of identifying a cult again. Party on.
I HATE ANNA.
YOU'VE ANGERED THE DEMONS, or Super Special #3: Pony Pals: The Ghost Pony
What is with Jeanne Betancourt and Super Specials? I'm not seeing a pattern as to when these Super Specials are supposed to come out. Maybe she just writes them when she gets bored? Lol, I just saw a noose in the shape of a heart. Not morbid at all.
Plot: The Pony Pals are digging around in Morristown, a ghost town. While they're there, they hear mysterious noises that scare their ponies! Gasp! Could it be a ghost?
Then a bunch of people start telling the Pony Pals ghost stories and they pee their pants.
But while at the Historical Society, they find a story about a girl named Emily from 1870. Emily was their age and even had a pony! How...nice. They read a stupid newspaper story about how Emily got trapped on a mountain and her pony Angel died to save her. Now they're convinced the ghostie they heard in Morristown was really Angel, but she's a nice ghost. They're not scared anymore.
Then they read Emily's diary, dig up Angel's grave, make her a new headstone, and participate in the Wiggins Historical Fair. Then they give this stupid moving tribute to Angel. Seriously. That was it.
More notes:
Since when do you need string to play with tops??
Aaargh, Anna believes in ghosts.
I believe in demons. But I don't believe there are demons in Morristown.
Wth, Snow White looks like a palomino...
Heh. Anna thought she saw a ghost in her bedroom when she was 5. Now she's afraid of them.
Pam is so annoying in this one. "That wasn't a ghostly noise. That was the wind." That's what they said in "The Secret Garden" and it turned out to be a crazy crippled boy.
So lame. The noises they hear sound like, "Oh-oo-oo, oh-oo-oo." How are you even supposed to pronounced that? Sounds like a bad pop song.
Sure, Pam. An owl made that noise. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY.
ANNA AND LULU ARE HOLDING HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lulu listens to tape recordings of owls all the time, so she knows it wasn't an owl noise. Wow.
They hear a whinny. GHOST PONY!!!
Yes Pam, we know there are no such things as ghosts.
IT WAS NOT THE WIND WHISTLING THROUGH THE TREES! AAAAAGH! SHUT UP!
Oh, it couldn't have been Tommy and Mike. They're in Washington, D.C. I thought Mike was poor.
A ghost town does not actually refer to ghosts.
OMG THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A MORGAN PONY! MORGANS ARE FREAKING HORSES!
Duh, Morgans are known for pulling heavy loads. Ever heard of Justin Morgan?
Angel tried to wake Emily up with nudges and hot breath. Sorry. That just sounds way funny.
How did Angel die? She was injured, but not that injured. And they did not use the phrase "put down" in 1870. Anachronistic.
SO LAME: May Angel rest in peace. She is, indeed, an Angel.
What? Why would you capitalize Angel if it's not her name in the last part? So dumb.
Yes, people tend to be sad when their animals DIE.
Mr. Conway doesn't want to talk to three 10-year-old girls. What a surprise.
Lame. He believes in ghosts. And was confronted by the ghost pony. *gag*
He also believes in the crying baby ghost. And the ghost of Mr. Warner, who trips you with his chains!!
I don't think Mr. Warner will trip your ponies. BECAUSE HE ISN'T REAL.
Yeah, riding at night, not a smart plan anyway.
Now Pam believes in ghosts.
He can't speak for the ghosts. Heh. This old man is so mean it's funny.
I wasn't sure if they had metal charm bracelets in 1870.
SHE'S DEAD, Pam. I think it's okay to read her stupid diary.
I hate people who write in their diary like it's a real person. That's why I could read "The Diary of Anne Frank".
I bet Lucy, Meg, and Emily are reincarnations of the Pony Pals.
Emily = Lulu. There's the whole "I killed my pony" guilt thing going on.
Lucy = Pam. They live farther away than the other two.
Meg = Anna. Cuz she has a mischevious pony.
Lame New year's resolutions.
Aw, read this poem.
Here lies Emily's Angel
She was a true, brave friend
May she be remembered always
It's like a bad attempt at a haiku.
PLEASE don't let the Pony Pals write something for the fair.
Aren't you supposed to be controlling Acorn, not the other way around?
They find a piece of slate that says "Ed always", and they think it can't be Angel's because it says "Ed" on it. "Ed always"? THAT MAKES NO SENSE!
Oh, duh, it's from "remembered always"!
Why does Mrs. Crandal just happen to have a big piece of slate in her garage.
Lame. Pony Pals are pretending to be from the "olden days".
And they write a horrible piece on 1870.
Creepy. They hold a seance-type grave digging thingy.
Plot: The Pony Pals are digging around in Morristown, a ghost town. While they're there, they hear mysterious noises that scare their ponies! Gasp! Could it be a ghost?
Then a bunch of people start telling the Pony Pals ghost stories and they pee their pants.
But while at the Historical Society, they find a story about a girl named Emily from 1870. Emily was their age and even had a pony! How...nice. They read a stupid newspaper story about how Emily got trapped on a mountain and her pony Angel died to save her. Now they're convinced the ghostie they heard in Morristown was really Angel, but she's a nice ghost. They're not scared anymore.
Then they read Emily's diary, dig up Angel's grave, make her a new headstone, and participate in the Wiggins Historical Fair. Then they give this stupid moving tribute to Angel. Seriously. That was it.
More notes:
Since when do you need string to play with tops??
Aaargh, Anna believes in ghosts.
I believe in demons. But I don't believe there are demons in Morristown.
Wth, Snow White looks like a palomino...
Heh. Anna thought she saw a ghost in her bedroom when she was 5. Now she's afraid of them.
Pam is so annoying in this one. "That wasn't a ghostly noise. That was the wind." That's what they said in "The Secret Garden" and it turned out to be a crazy crippled boy.
So lame. The noises they hear sound like, "Oh-oo-oo, oh-oo-oo." How are you even supposed to pronounced that? Sounds like a bad pop song.
Sure, Pam. An owl made that noise. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY.
ANNA AND LULU ARE HOLDING HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lulu listens to tape recordings of owls all the time, so she knows it wasn't an owl noise. Wow.
They hear a whinny. GHOST PONY!!!
Yes Pam, we know there are no such things as ghosts.
IT WAS NOT THE WIND WHISTLING THROUGH THE TREES! AAAAAGH! SHUT UP!
Oh, it couldn't have been Tommy and Mike. They're in Washington, D.C. I thought Mike was poor.
A ghost town does not actually refer to ghosts.
OMG THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A MORGAN PONY! MORGANS ARE FREAKING HORSES!
Duh, Morgans are known for pulling heavy loads. Ever heard of Justin Morgan?
Angel tried to wake Emily up with nudges and hot breath. Sorry. That just sounds way funny.
How did Angel die? She was injured, but not that injured. And they did not use the phrase "put down" in 1870. Anachronistic.
SO LAME: May Angel rest in peace. She is, indeed, an Angel.
What? Why would you capitalize Angel if it's not her name in the last part? So dumb.
Yes, people tend to be sad when their animals DIE.
Mr. Conway doesn't want to talk to three 10-year-old girls. What a surprise.
Lame. He believes in ghosts. And was confronted by the ghost pony. *gag*
He also believes in the crying baby ghost. And the ghost of Mr. Warner, who trips you with his chains!!
I don't think Mr. Warner will trip your ponies. BECAUSE HE ISN'T REAL.
Yeah, riding at night, not a smart plan anyway.
Now Pam believes in ghosts.
He can't speak for the ghosts. Heh. This old man is so mean it's funny.
I wasn't sure if they had metal charm bracelets in 1870.
SHE'S DEAD, Pam. I think it's okay to read her stupid diary.
I hate people who write in their diary like it's a real person. That's why I could read "The Diary of Anne Frank".
I bet Lucy, Meg, and Emily are reincarnations of the Pony Pals.
Emily = Lulu. There's the whole "I killed my pony" guilt thing going on.
Lucy = Pam. They live farther away than the other two.
Meg = Anna. Cuz she has a mischevious pony.
Lame New year's resolutions.
Aw, read this poem.
Here lies Emily's Angel
She was a true, brave friend
May she be remembered always
It's like a bad attempt at a haiku.
PLEASE don't let the Pony Pals write something for the fair.
Aren't you supposed to be controlling Acorn, not the other way around?
They find a piece of slate that says "Ed always", and they think it can't be Angel's because it says "Ed" on it. "Ed always"? THAT MAKES NO SENSE!
Oh, duh, it's from "remembered always"!
Why does Mrs. Crandal just happen to have a big piece of slate in her garage.
Lame. Pony Pals are pretending to be from the "olden days".
And they write a horrible piece on 1870.
Creepy. They hold a seance-type grave digging thingy.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Safe Sitters for losers, or Super Special #1: Pony Pals: The Baby Pony
I don't understand how this is a super special. It's only 91 pages, shorter than the longest Pony Pals book. I guess it's super because the author felt she had to write in three different personalities at once. What a challenge. Oh, and there are a few more pictures than normal.
Plot: Some random person drops a baby pony off at Crandal Animal Clinic (it has a name? I just thought if it as the Crandals' house). The pony is three days old and its mother died. The Pony Pals start to feed it, and love it, and take care of it for about 80 pages. But taking care of a pony is hard work.
A woman comes and tries to buy Baby Pony (they couldn't think up a better name than that). They refuse because the woman is mean and wants to sell him for a lot of money.
But then a little crying girl and her dad come along and the Pony Pals take pity on her because her own pony died. BUT THEY REFUSE THE MONEY AND ARE JUST HAPPY WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT BABY PONY HAS A GOOD HOME. The End. Snore.
More notes:
Pony Pal Trail is Anna's favorite place "in the world". Something tells me Anna doesn't get out of Wiggins very often.
No, I don't think about how I met my friends every time I see them.
"A bay-colored foal." Why can't they say bay and leave it at that?
"Lulu rubbed the foal's silky brown coat. It was the softest thing she'd ever touched." You've obviously never met Luke.
Geez, Pam, way to be dramatic. "'The foal has to start drinking soon-' Pam finished the sentence in a whisper. "-or he'll die.'"
Psyche, it turns out Lulu actually HAS been to Africa. But if that's true, why didn't Mr. Sanders want to take her on the elephant trip? Africa's pretty dangerous without poachers. Meaning lions and civil war.
They say "nipple" like 20 times on one page. It made me laugh.
Lulu: Maybe we can get the foal to drink from a bottle with a nipple. [Don't all bottles have nipples?]
Pam: Good idea.
Anna: Do we give him plain old milk?
Pam: It'd be better to give him mare's milk. My dad has some powdered mare's milk in the office. You stay with the foal and I'll go look.
Anna: We'll need a bottle with a nipple, too.
We have to listen to more stuff about Lulu's dead mother and how awful it is. We get it.
Another barrage of nipples....
If Pam hadn't been so selfish and drunk all the milk, they wouldn't be in this predicament! Shame, shame, shame....
Interesting...Jack and Jill are a year older, but the Pony Pals are still 10. This reminds me of the story about the lightbuckers.
They're milking a goat. Totally reminds me of Milk Off.
Pam, you are talking to a goat. What's wrong with you?
Jeanne Betancourt must like the word "nipple" because she uses it A LOT.
Wait...isn't taking care of animals Mr. Crandal's job? How come he doesn't have time to take care of a foal? It's not like he has a lot of clients. He only gets clients when one of the ponies gets sick or the Pony Pals find a cat, which they do quite often, I've noticed.
It's suddenly summer vacation? And more conveniently, it just STARTED, so the Pony Pals have plenty of time to hand rear a newborn foal!
Couldn't Mr. Olson do it? He's always at home and doesn't seem to have much of a life, as he frequently runs horse shows when he gets bored.... Yeah, I know, this coming from a girl who reads "Pony Pals" and blogs about it.
Sure, Anna. Because he is a adorable, it will be fun. Try baby-sitting sometime.
EWWWWWW there's a picture of the foal; he's bald and his neck is 10 feet thicker than his body.
Anna admits that she's crap at spelling. I'm proud of you, Anna.
And then she had to go and be all cocky about her artistic talents....
Pam is not a very good writer and she has bad grammar.
Ha ha, umbillicus is a funny word.
How do you know he misses his mother? He never really knew her, did he?
Um, WHAT? The Pony Pals will be LIVING at the Crandal's for the next few weeks. And their parents are OKAY WITH THIS???
There's a whole page on the Pony Pals and their attempts at making straw furniture. Yawn.
Yes. I can see a pony crawling under a fence. Not.
RED FLAG: Pam has her arm around Anna....
Oh, sure, it's normal for ponies to pound other ponies into a bloody pulp.... Wait...I thought a few books ago Pam was priding Lightning on being able to get along with strange ponies. I know Acorn has issues, but Lightning was pretty stellar in #6.
I wish they would stop calling him Baby Pony.
Bats. In the loft. Can you say RABIES?
Acorn is WAY too huge to be a Shetland. He's as tall as Lightning and is all lean and crap.
Anna is a gourmet cook?
This foal is vicious.
Pam and Lulu can't make up their minds about Baby Pony.
Pam: He's getting spoiled.
Lulu: He just wants a mother. You can't blame him for that. [Actually....]
*later*
Lulu: *trying to sleep* His feeding isn't for another hour.
Pam: He just wants company.
No, I don't think ponies tackling people is very cute behavior.
Whoever receives the Baby Pony Journal is going to be bored out of their minds.
They mention Baby doing a little jig pretty much every 5 seconds.
I think Anna's shirt says "Jail" on it. Jealous, I want a shirt like that.
More Snow White worship. Blah. I hate Snow White.
Snow White had a foal? How come we didn't hear about this earlier?
"...he did a little jig of joy." That, with the alliteration, does not sound cute.
Baby bites Lulu and they don't think this is a problem.
Baby tries to nurse from Snow White and she pushes him to the ground. Snow White is trying to teach Baby to man up.
Aw, cute picture. Snow White actually looks like a pony.
Anna: Snow White's a great baby sitter and teacher.
Why, because she's white?
Seriously, if the only other option was Lulu, I'd rather be called Lucinda. Or at least Lucy.
Of course there are no nursing mares available in Wiggins. Because only 5 people in Wiggins own ponies!!!
How come the Pony Pals never have to pay for the brownies Mrs. Harley makes them?
Mrs. Harley: When do you think you'll start sleeping at home again?
Anna: Not until we find a nursing mare for Baby Pony.
Pam: Just pretend Anna's at a sleep-away camp, Mrs. Harley.
Mrs. Harley: It sounds more like a work-away camp.
*cough cough* ISLAND LAKE. *cough cough*
Anna: Sand. What a pretty name for a horse. I bet she's a Palomino.
I'll bet she isn't.
Lol, I want a yellow convertible.
I agree! Baby is no name for a horse! It's right up there with all the other annoying overused names for animals.
Overused animal names: Baby, Oreo, Blackie, Brownie, Whitey, Tabby, Lucky, Muffin, Patches, Smokey
I like the name Oreo, tho. It's just that everyone who gets a black and white hamster is all, "OMFG, OREO!"
Heh. Victoria's horse is named Perfection. I'm totally getting a horse and naming him Irony.
The Pony Pals don't want to sell Baby Pony to Victoria Winters because she wants to train him and sell him for a lot of money. Uh, yeah, that's some people's JOB. That's so stupid, tho. Once they buy him, they can do whatever they want with him. Suck it up.
Whatever. Ponies are worth way more than $100.
OH NO! A HORSE NAMED FRECKLES! How I despise that name. That's right up there next to Blackie and Brownie.
Wait...Freckles is a horse...YES! HORSES DO EXIST IN "PONY PALS"!
Eve, Freckles' owner, is way annoying. "I would've taken care of my foal if he hadn't died. That's what my foal would've looked like. My foal would've eaten that grass. My foal would've voted Republican, bla bla bla...."
They rub the smell of Freckles' dead colt all over Baby Pony. Um, creepy??
WHAT? They decide to give Baby Pony away and will accept no money. I noticed Mr. Crandal isn't here to oversee this transaction. I bet he'll be mad when he finds out....
OH NO, SHE NAMES HIM LUCKY! *see list*
I'm sorry, I just really hate the name Lucky for a horse. Especially for a "witty" reason. "His name is Lucky, because I'm so lucky to have him." "His name is Lucky because he's my good luck charm!" "His name is Lucky because he's green like a Care Bear!" "Say whaaaat?"
And you thought Anna's handwriting was bad...Eve's is even worse.
Eve, Lucky, Freckles, and her dad are never heard from again....
Yeah. That was not enjoyable. I'm still waiting on "Circus Pony", but if it doesn't come in 2 days, I'll start reading "Keep Out, Pony" (#12) and "The Girl Who Hated Ponies" (#13). I also have "Pony Sitters" (#14) and "The Blind Pony" (#15), but those are painful to read.
Plot: Some random person drops a baby pony off at Crandal Animal Clinic (it has a name? I just thought if it as the Crandals' house). The pony is three days old and its mother died. The Pony Pals start to feed it, and love it, and take care of it for about 80 pages. But taking care of a pony is hard work.
A woman comes and tries to buy Baby Pony (they couldn't think up a better name than that). They refuse because the woman is mean and wants to sell him for a lot of money.
But then a little crying girl and her dad come along and the Pony Pals take pity on her because her own pony died. BUT THEY REFUSE THE MONEY AND ARE JUST HAPPY WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT BABY PONY HAS A GOOD HOME. The End. Snore.
More notes:
Pony Pal Trail is Anna's favorite place "in the world". Something tells me Anna doesn't get out of Wiggins very often.
No, I don't think about how I met my friends every time I see them.
"A bay-colored foal." Why can't they say bay and leave it at that?
"Lulu rubbed the foal's silky brown coat. It was the softest thing she'd ever touched." You've obviously never met Luke.
Geez, Pam, way to be dramatic. "'The foal has to start drinking soon-' Pam finished the sentence in a whisper. "-or he'll die.'"
Psyche, it turns out Lulu actually HAS been to Africa. But if that's true, why didn't Mr. Sanders want to take her on the elephant trip? Africa's pretty dangerous without poachers. Meaning lions and civil war.
They say "nipple" like 20 times on one page. It made me laugh.
Lulu: Maybe we can get the foal to drink from a bottle with a nipple. [Don't all bottles have nipples?]
Pam: Good idea.
Anna: Do we give him plain old milk?
Pam: It'd be better to give him mare's milk. My dad has some powdered mare's milk in the office. You stay with the foal and I'll go look.
Anna: We'll need a bottle with a nipple, too.
We have to listen to more stuff about Lulu's dead mother and how awful it is. We get it.
Another barrage of nipples....
If Pam hadn't been so selfish and drunk all the milk, they wouldn't be in this predicament! Shame, shame, shame....
Interesting...Jack and Jill are a year older, but the Pony Pals are still 10. This reminds me of the story about the lightbuckers.
They're milking a goat. Totally reminds me of Milk Off.
Pam, you are talking to a goat. What's wrong with you?
Jeanne Betancourt must like the word "nipple" because she uses it A LOT.
Wait...isn't taking care of animals Mr. Crandal's job? How come he doesn't have time to take care of a foal? It's not like he has a lot of clients. He only gets clients when one of the ponies gets sick or the Pony Pals find a cat, which they do quite often, I've noticed.
It's suddenly summer vacation? And more conveniently, it just STARTED, so the Pony Pals have plenty of time to hand rear a newborn foal!
Couldn't Mr. Olson do it? He's always at home and doesn't seem to have much of a life, as he frequently runs horse shows when he gets bored.... Yeah, I know, this coming from a girl who reads "Pony Pals" and blogs about it.
Sure, Anna. Because he is a adorable, it will be fun. Try baby-sitting sometime.
EWWWWWW there's a picture of the foal; he's bald and his neck is 10 feet thicker than his body.
Anna admits that she's crap at spelling. I'm proud of you, Anna.
And then she had to go and be all cocky about her artistic talents....
Pam is not a very good writer and she has bad grammar.
Ha ha, umbillicus is a funny word.
How do you know he misses his mother? He never really knew her, did he?
Um, WHAT? The Pony Pals will be LIVING at the Crandal's for the next few weeks. And their parents are OKAY WITH THIS???
There's a whole page on the Pony Pals and their attempts at making straw furniture. Yawn.
Yes. I can see a pony crawling under a fence. Not.
RED FLAG: Pam has her arm around Anna....
Oh, sure, it's normal for ponies to pound other ponies into a bloody pulp.... Wait...I thought a few books ago Pam was priding Lightning on being able to get along with strange ponies. I know Acorn has issues, but Lightning was pretty stellar in #6.
I wish they would stop calling him Baby Pony.
Bats. In the loft. Can you say RABIES?
Acorn is WAY too huge to be a Shetland. He's as tall as Lightning and is all lean and crap.
Anna is a gourmet cook?
This foal is vicious.
Pam and Lulu can't make up their minds about Baby Pony.
Pam: He's getting spoiled.
Lulu: He just wants a mother. You can't blame him for that. [Actually....]
*later*
Lulu: *trying to sleep* His feeding isn't for another hour.
Pam: He just wants company.
No, I don't think ponies tackling people is very cute behavior.
Whoever receives the Baby Pony Journal is going to be bored out of their minds.
They mention Baby doing a little jig pretty much every 5 seconds.
I think Anna's shirt says "Jail" on it. Jealous, I want a shirt like that.
More Snow White worship. Blah. I hate Snow White.
Snow White had a foal? How come we didn't hear about this earlier?
"...he did a little jig of joy." That, with the alliteration, does not sound cute.
Baby bites Lulu and they don't think this is a problem.
Baby tries to nurse from Snow White and she pushes him to the ground. Snow White is trying to teach Baby to man up.
Aw, cute picture. Snow White actually looks like a pony.
Anna: Snow White's a great baby sitter and teacher.
Why, because she's white?
Seriously, if the only other option was Lulu, I'd rather be called Lucinda. Or at least Lucy.
Of course there are no nursing mares available in Wiggins. Because only 5 people in Wiggins own ponies!!!
How come the Pony Pals never have to pay for the brownies Mrs. Harley makes them?
Mrs. Harley: When do you think you'll start sleeping at home again?
Anna: Not until we find a nursing mare for Baby Pony.
Pam: Just pretend Anna's at a sleep-away camp, Mrs. Harley.
Mrs. Harley: It sounds more like a work-away camp.
*cough cough* ISLAND LAKE. *cough cough*
Anna: Sand. What a pretty name for a horse. I bet she's a Palomino.
I'll bet she isn't.
Lol, I want a yellow convertible.
I agree! Baby is no name for a horse! It's right up there with all the other annoying overused names for animals.
Overused animal names: Baby, Oreo, Blackie, Brownie, Whitey, Tabby, Lucky, Muffin, Patches, Smokey
I like the name Oreo, tho. It's just that everyone who gets a black and white hamster is all, "OMFG, OREO!"
Heh. Victoria's horse is named Perfection. I'm totally getting a horse and naming him Irony.
The Pony Pals don't want to sell Baby Pony to Victoria Winters because she wants to train him and sell him for a lot of money. Uh, yeah, that's some people's JOB. That's so stupid, tho. Once they buy him, they can do whatever they want with him. Suck it up.
Whatever. Ponies are worth way more than $100.
OH NO! A HORSE NAMED FRECKLES! How I despise that name. That's right up there next to Blackie and Brownie.
Wait...Freckles is a horse...YES! HORSES DO EXIST IN "PONY PALS"!
Eve, Freckles' owner, is way annoying. "I would've taken care of my foal if he hadn't died. That's what my foal would've looked like. My foal would've eaten that grass. My foal would've voted Republican, bla bla bla...."
They rub the smell of Freckles' dead colt all over Baby Pony. Um, creepy??
WHAT? They decide to give Baby Pony away and will accept no money. I noticed Mr. Crandal isn't here to oversee this transaction. I bet he'll be mad when he finds out....
OH NO, SHE NAMES HIM LUCKY! *see list*
I'm sorry, I just really hate the name Lucky for a horse. Especially for a "witty" reason. "His name is Lucky, because I'm so lucky to have him." "His name is Lucky because he's my good luck charm!" "His name is Lucky because he's green like a Care Bear!" "Say whaaaat?"
And you thought Anna's handwriting was bad...Eve's is even worse.
Eve, Lucky, Freckles, and her dad are never heard from again....
Yeah. That was not enjoyable. I'm still waiting on "Circus Pony", but if it doesn't come in 2 days, I'll start reading "Keep Out, Pony" (#12) and "The Girl Who Hated Ponies" (#13). I also have "Pony Sitters" (#14) and "The Blind Pony" (#15), but those are painful to read.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
At last! He's leaving!, or Pony Pals #8: Good-bye Pony
This one is so lame. It's about death and denial. I cried my eyes out when I first read this and refused to finish it. Then I played Pony Pals with my Fisher Price people. Don't blame me for the crappiness.
Plot: Ms. Wiggins is teaching Anna and Acorn how to drive a pony cart, because her pony Winston pulls a cart every year for the Winter Festival Parade. She wants Acorn to take over for Winston next year, because Winston is so old. After Anna's horrible lesson, Ms. Wiggins asks the Pony Pals to watch Winston while she goes to an art show where she will be showing her paintings. Ooh, what an artist.
When the Pony Pals go to check on Winston, they find him on the ground. Pam calls her dad and they try to take care of Winston, but Dr. Crandal (I've been spelling it wrong all this time) says he's going to die and there's nothing they can do.
This makes Anna mad. She stays with Winston all night, refuses meals, ignores Acorn, and tries to convince Ms. Wiggins to get another veterinarian because she doesn't believe Winston is going to die.
Then he does. And she was wrong.
So everyone is sad.
YAY, 3 GREAT IDEAS! The Pony Pals decide to have Acorn replace Acorn after all! Only Acorn is being stubborn, and even with Mr. Olson's help, he doesn't learn. Finally, with a little bit of help from HIS pony pals (ew, what a gross sentence) Acorn cooperates, and Ms. Wiggins is happy again. Yeeeeeeee-ha.
More notes:
Acorn looks hecka ugly. I want those pants. Winston is adorable.
Why do they call it the Winter Festival Parade. It's one or the other.
Acorn is huge in the first picture. He's supposed to be short. Like 11.2 hands.
Foreshadowing of the death of Winston. AAAAGH WE GET IT ALREADY!
Anna wants to have a Pony Party. Not loser.
Anna wants to keep Acorn forever. Not seeing this happening.
This is Lulu's "first winter". Um, not really. Remember "A Pony For Keeps"? Wasn't THAT your first winter?? AND HOW ARE YOU STILL IN 5TH GRADE? Did you all get held back? I thought Pam was smart.
Pam is either in a bad mood or she has a mustache.
AAAARGH! MRS. HARLEY'S BROWNIES ARE NOT FAMOUS!!!!
How come whenever a pony is sick or injured the Pony Pals assume it is colic? "He hasn't eaten in 5 days and is looking gaunt." "*gasp* COULD IT BE COLIC?" "...."
Dr. Crandal: There's not much I can do for him.
Anna: WHY AREN'T YOU GIVING HIM MEDICINE AND MAKING HIM BETTER?
Okay, Anna, I know you're slow....
"We Pony Pals have solved a lot of tough problems." Name one.
The Pony Pals seem to really like spaghetti.
Anna is convinced that everyone else is a quitter and that she's a saint.
Anna yells at the Pony Pals for letting Winston lie down. LISTEN TO ME: HE'S GOING TO DIE!!!
Mr. Silver: I dug a hole in the ground before it froze. Just in case.
OMG, THAT IS SO MORBID!!!
Anna thinks Dr. Crandal is the problem. Maybe YOU'RE the problem, Anna. That would solve all the Pony Pal's problems. Actually, not. Lulu needs to go, too.
Anna is mad at Ms. Wiggins for not being there. She misses Winston's death by 5 minutes and Anna thinks she did it on purpose. I hate this kid.
Acorn looks very cute and vaguely Arab. Winston has this huge Roman nose.
Acorn: *pushes Winston to the ground*
Anna: BAD PONY!
Lulu: Maybe he was just telling Winston it's okay to die.
Oh right. I actually agree with Anna on this one.
SHE FINALLY GETS IT.
Pam: I think it's almost the end....
That's like a bad Dickens novel sentence.
Awww, they cut off part of Winston's mane and braid it. That's so sweet. Not even playing.
I love blueberry pancakes.
Ew, a "Miracle Pets" story about how Wiggins saved her life. SOOO lame.
Selfish Anna. She spent all her money on stuff for Acorn when she could've donated it to the St. Francis Animal Shelter in Winston's memory!
ANOTHER GOOD DRAWING FROM ANNA! This is a crazy trend.
Mmm, apple juice and donuts.
Acorn so huge. Anna so short. Pam so pretty. Lulu so annoying.
IT'S MR. OLSON CREEP PANTS! He's lost a lot more hair since book #2.
Mmmm, hot chocolate and cheese sandwhiches.
I think Mrs. Harley and Ms. Wiggins are...you know....
I honestly think Anna thinks Pam is stupid.
Lulu so ugly. Pam so boy. Mr. Olson so Grampa.
And Anna's good drawing streak comes to a halt with the shoebox for Winston.
Ew, Boy Scouts are so evil.
Anna's sister's name used to be Tammy. Now it's Melissa.
You don't have to repeat yourself to make a point. "YOU DID IT, ACORN! YOU DID IT!"
Aaargh. That was painful. I know I've been posting a lot, but I'll slow down, because I only have 1 left and I have to wait for "The Baby Pony" to come in. Yay, the first super special! I'll have fun with that.
Plot: Ms. Wiggins is teaching Anna and Acorn how to drive a pony cart, because her pony Winston pulls a cart every year for the Winter Festival Parade. She wants Acorn to take over for Winston next year, because Winston is so old. After Anna's horrible lesson, Ms. Wiggins asks the Pony Pals to watch Winston while she goes to an art show where she will be showing her paintings. Ooh, what an artist.
When the Pony Pals go to check on Winston, they find him on the ground. Pam calls her dad and they try to take care of Winston, but Dr. Crandal (I've been spelling it wrong all this time) says he's going to die and there's nothing they can do.
This makes Anna mad. She stays with Winston all night, refuses meals, ignores Acorn, and tries to convince Ms. Wiggins to get another veterinarian because she doesn't believe Winston is going to die.
Then he does. And she was wrong.
So everyone is sad.
YAY, 3 GREAT IDEAS! The Pony Pals decide to have Acorn replace Acorn after all! Only Acorn is being stubborn, and even with Mr. Olson's help, he doesn't learn. Finally, with a little bit of help from HIS pony pals (ew, what a gross sentence) Acorn cooperates, and Ms. Wiggins is happy again. Yeeeeeeee-ha.
More notes:
Acorn looks hecka ugly. I want those pants. Winston is adorable.
Why do they call it the Winter Festival Parade. It's one or the other.
Acorn is huge in the first picture. He's supposed to be short. Like 11.2 hands.
Foreshadowing of the death of Winston. AAAAGH WE GET IT ALREADY!
Anna wants to have a Pony Party. Not loser.
Anna wants to keep Acorn forever. Not seeing this happening.
This is Lulu's "first winter". Um, not really. Remember "A Pony For Keeps"? Wasn't THAT your first winter?? AND HOW ARE YOU STILL IN 5TH GRADE? Did you all get held back? I thought Pam was smart.
Pam is either in a bad mood or she has a mustache.
AAAARGH! MRS. HARLEY'S BROWNIES ARE NOT FAMOUS!!!!
How come whenever a pony is sick or injured the Pony Pals assume it is colic? "He hasn't eaten in 5 days and is looking gaunt." "*gasp* COULD IT BE COLIC?" "...."
Dr. Crandal: There's not much I can do for him.
Anna: WHY AREN'T YOU GIVING HIM MEDICINE AND MAKING HIM BETTER?
Okay, Anna, I know you're slow....
"We Pony Pals have solved a lot of tough problems." Name one.
The Pony Pals seem to really like spaghetti.
Anna is convinced that everyone else is a quitter and that she's a saint.
Anna yells at the Pony Pals for letting Winston lie down. LISTEN TO ME: HE'S GOING TO DIE!!!
Mr. Silver: I dug a hole in the ground before it froze. Just in case.
OMG, THAT IS SO MORBID!!!
Anna thinks Dr. Crandal is the problem. Maybe YOU'RE the problem, Anna. That would solve all the Pony Pal's problems. Actually, not. Lulu needs to go, too.
Anna is mad at Ms. Wiggins for not being there. She misses Winston's death by 5 minutes and Anna thinks she did it on purpose. I hate this kid.
Acorn looks very cute and vaguely Arab. Winston has this huge Roman nose.
Acorn: *pushes Winston to the ground*
Anna: BAD PONY!
Lulu: Maybe he was just telling Winston it's okay to die.
Oh right. I actually agree with Anna on this one.
SHE FINALLY GETS IT.
Pam: I think it's almost the end....
That's like a bad Dickens novel sentence.
Awww, they cut off part of Winston's mane and braid it. That's so sweet. Not even playing.
I love blueberry pancakes.
Ew, a "Miracle Pets" story about how Wiggins saved her life. SOOO lame.
Selfish Anna. She spent all her money on stuff for Acorn when she could've donated it to the St. Francis Animal Shelter in Winston's memory!
ANOTHER GOOD DRAWING FROM ANNA! This is a crazy trend.
Mmm, apple juice and donuts.
Acorn so huge. Anna so short. Pam so pretty. Lulu so annoying.
IT'S MR. OLSON CREEP PANTS! He's lost a lot more hair since book #2.
Mmmm, hot chocolate and cheese sandwhiches.
I think Mrs. Harley and Ms. Wiggins are...you know....
I honestly think Anna thinks Pam is stupid.
Lulu so ugly. Pam so boy. Mr. Olson so Grampa.
And Anna's good drawing streak comes to a halt with the shoebox for Winston.
Ew, Boy Scouts are so evil.
Anna's sister's name used to be Tammy. Now it's Melissa.
You don't have to repeat yourself to make a point. "YOU DID IT, ACORN! YOU DID IT!"
Aaargh. That was painful. I know I've been posting a lot, but I'll slow down, because I only have 1 left and I have to wait for "The Baby Pony" to come in. Yay, the first super special! I'll have fun with that.
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