There's no such thing as a sad ending, or Horseshoe Trilogies #3: Sweet Charity

We're finally done with this series. I'm thinking of making a collage of all the series I've posted on this blog. Lol.



Plot: Josie doesn't want to sell Charity, her specialist most favorite horse, but she has no choice. Now, to add more stress, the Graces have to find a new home.
So Josie is all emo about Charity the ENTIRE TIME. The Taylor family and their daughter Emily are pretty interested in buying her (why is it that no boys ever want to buy a horse??), which makes Josie uber jealous.
Then, one night, Charity disappears, along with all her tack! *gasp* SHE'S BEEN STOLEN!
And we know who the culprit is. Kirsty, a creepy little girl who loves Charity a little TOO much, apparently did it to help Josie?? Whatever.
So Josie goes looking for them and finds them in the boathouse, but then Kirsty has an asthma attack and somehow falls into the river. Josie goes to save her, and they're both about to drown, but Charity saves them both.
Um, yay.
So now that that's all over, Josie's parents start hinting that they've found a NEW OWNER for Charity and she's the BEST OWNER they could find. Josie can't figure it out, but then they tell her that Charity is HERS. Because her dad got a new job and now is uber rich and their new house has a field where they can keep a horse. LAAAAAME.

More notes:
Josie often has odd fantasies involving Charity and herself.... THEY'RE ABOUT RIDING!!! Sickos.

Oh, and in the fantasy, she saves a young man who's broken his leg, and his grandmother lets Charity stay for free in their stables.

Whaaaat? Looking at this cover, Charity doesn't even look CLOSE to flea-bitten. As in the color, not the state.

Josie invites Kirsty over to her house, and then is all, "OMG, SHE'S SO CREEPY AND SHE GETS ON MY NERVES!" Then WHY'D you invite her to your house?

Anna thinks Kirsty is creepy, too. Why? Does she murder animals or play with voodoo dolls?

"'No!' Kirsty said. 'I won't let them take her away from you!'"
Okay...THAT's creepy.

Okay, her parents are sort of poorish, so they're settling on a townhouse with a small backyard, and Josie's all complaining. "THIS ISN'T THE BEST HOUSE!! HOW WILL WE KEEP THE DUCKS AND CHICKENS??" You won't...because you're POOR.

Foreshadowing of the boathouse incident, and how unstable it is....

"They've got an older boy who's had a horse for a while, and now they want a horse for his younger sister. She's been having riding lessons for ages."
Hmm...sounds familiar. What do you know, she has brown hair and freckles!

Oh, if you smile shyly, you must be a nice person.

Josie storms into the house and starts yelling at her dad.

I love how her mom is so blunt and realistic.

"There are three bedrooms, but one of them is tiny, and the kitchen's not enormous, either."
"That doesn't bother me. You know how I feel about cooking."
Um, yeah, but your husband LOVES to cook. Why don't you ask him how HE feels?

Josie and Anna find a field with horses right next to the new house.
Josie: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Me: That there are horses there to take your mind off Charity?
Anna: Oooh! Charity could stay with those horses!
Me: ....

Um, duh, horses are EXPENSIVE.

Ah yes, let's lie and say that Charity has an awful disease.

Oh no, Charity's not in the field! Well, gee, MAYBE SHE'S IN THE BARN!

I'm trying to imagine the damage Josie could do to a potential horse thief.

Anna, Ben, and Josie are being detectives like the Pony Pals.

The thief knew where the key was.... Hm, MAYBE THEY'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE?

Oh, and Kirsty Fisher happens to be missing. What a coincidence.

Argh! Now that they know it's Kirsty, they're like, "Oh, she didn't mean to hurt us, it's all right." Yeah, but she stole your property. Doesn't that mean anything to you?

They didn't get any phonecalls from Mrs. Fisher...and it's Josie's fault.

"I've got a feeling she was trying to help me." Yeah, in a messed up against-the-law way.

Oh, and it turns out Kirsty is asthmatic. Just to add to the drama.

Why would you look for a girl on horseback with bikes? Wouldn't you also use horses?

Yeah, duh, use Faith.

Gotcha, Anna and Ben's dad is Spanish. Makes sense.

Faith, like Acorn, is a good detective.

Kirsty's inhaler reminded me of how my brother used to use an inhaler for allergies.

"No one's angry at you, Kirsty." I am.

Argh, she has a serious asthma attack. Just like in "Are We There Yet?".

Josie tries to throw the inhaler to her...and misses by TWO FEET. Nice throw.

Kirsty falls into the river. Wow.

Smart, go after her. Now you'll both drown, although what else could you do?

Charity saves them. This would be a good episode of "Miracle Pets".

Should I call the police first, or my parents? Police, police! She calls her parents.

Anna: I called the farmer who owns the field, but he says someone already asked him to keep a space for a horse!
Josie: Darn.
Me: ....

"My own sweet Charity. Now nothing's going to take her away from me!"
Except for possibly death and disease.

So yeah. A really awful Pony Pals tomorrow. Yaay, haven't done one of those in a while.

Where are they getting these titles, or Horseshoe Trilogies #2: Last Hope

Yeah, so I haven't really posted at all since Winter Break started. Whatever. I haven't been reading a lot. Oh, and I've been playing Sims.



Plot: We're back with Josie Grace, the annoying British girl with a love of horses. This time, however, they're getting rid of Hope, the "ugly" horse.
And no one likes Hope because she's SOOOOOOOOOOO ugly.
Yeah, people are SO AWFUL.
So all Josie does is walk around feeling depressed the entire time, because no one likes Hope, and then this old woman from an animal sanctuary offers to buy her, and Josie is like, "NO WAY!!!"
Um, nice, Josie.
Moron.
So this woman in charge of a home for...for...I think it's either abused children or children with ADHD...something. Anyway, the children go there to get professional care and love and stuff, and the woman wants to use Hope for all that fun stuff.
Mary Grace is all, "I don't know," but then the kids come and jump on Hope and don't think she's ugly, and Hope loves it.
Yaaay.
Laaaaaaaame.

More notes:
Hope looks fine to me on the cover, and I really doubt that people make THAT big a deal about how she looks. Stupid.

Yay, lying is condoned.

Okay, all they do in this book is go, "Oh, poor Hope, she's soooo ugly. She'll never be sold." Well, no, not with THAT kind of attitude.

I just think this is weird:
Tom: And how's Jill coping? I used to look after her chestnut horse, Marmalade, you know. She was so upset when he had to be sold.
Not only is Marmalade BAY (totally different from chestnut), but why did he feel the need to throw "chestnut" in there? You could've just said, "...after her horse, Marmalade..." IT JUST WEIRDS ME OUT!! IT SOUNDS SO WRONG!!!

Okay, I can kind of see why people wouldn't want to buy Faith, because I have a HUUUGE prejudice against albino horses, and get really grossed out whenever I see one. Like, they seriously make me want to vomit.

I've noticed that every chapter ends with Josie either saying something moving/touching/emotional or thinking something desperate or sad.
Example: What if no one would look beyond Hope's plain appearance and see her sweet nature? What would happen then?

"She liked Ben, though they weren't best friends in the way that she and Anna were."
Umm...that makes it sound like everyone she knows HAS to be her best friend. Or is that just me??? AARGH.

If you were trotting, wouldn't you be thrown back and forth, not side to side? Just wondering.

Oh dear, Hope gets sweet itch!!!

Okay, it really annoys me when people that are the teensiest bit older than me are all, "Respect your elders." It kind of peeves me off and 9 times out of 10 I'm bigger than they are, so it's like, "Do you REALLY want to mess with this??"

"I'm not a beginner. I've had five lessons."
Oh, then that means I'm a freaking expert.

I suppose we as readers are supposed to be proud of Mary Grace for standing up for Hope and herself, but she gets pwned comeback wise.

Josie's father is putting on a musical. What teacher in his right mind would put on "Grease"? Ugh, I hate what Josie says.
"They're doing a version of Grease - you know, that rock-and-roll musical. John Travolta was in the film."
Um, duh. I personally don't know anybody who hasn't heard of Grease.

I don't know why EVERYONE is so opposed to Hope having to go to the animal sanctuary. People give up their dogs and cats to the Humane Society when they want them to find a good home, so why is it a bad idea for horses???

Haaaa. "There was something moving in Mrs. Peabody's bosom!" Chestburster!!
Aaaw, it turns out to be a baby bat. I love bats.

Wth, Anna and Ben have dark hair, eyes, and olive skin. Their mom has blonde hair and blue eyes. ???????? IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE??

Okay, Josie and Anna are out on a ride when these boys start harassing them. Hm, they're on bikes and are in 8th grade...sound familiar?? Anna's all, "Ignore them." !!!!!!! Yeah, thanks, it never WORKS.

BAM!
Tommy Rand (JK!): Look at the ugly one! What's the matter with her? Looks like all her hair's dropping out. Couldn't you find a better horse to ride than that old nag?
Anna: She's got a horse version of acne. Something you'd know all about. Maybe there's a good cream you could recommend?
Ugh, and Josie's all, "You're making it worse!" Picturing her with her snotty British accent and breathy voice. HATE HATE HATE.

Oooh, that boy's mad, he just called you a Stuck-Up Princess!!!

Yeah, very classy, Dad. "You shouldn't be sad, I'M the one trapped with teenagers singing showtunes!"

Josie is amazed that a kid her age could draw well. Or more like because SHE can't draw like Michelangelo, no one else should.

Why would you want to go see some stables if there are no horses in them, when you could be looking at RABBITS??

"Oh no, you don't want Hope. She's a bit stocky with quite a broad back."
Like abused/neglected/afflicted children are going to care. I wouldn't. Um, unless it was albino....

Josie: Oh, stop! I think I like the old, tactless Anna better!
:O That's so mean. I'd be so offended if one of my friends said that to me. Okay, whenever Anna semi-insults Josie, Josie freaks out, but whenever she insults Anna, it's comic relief?

No, no, don't tell a story, please, Josie, NOOOOO.

Tommy just randomly screams??

OH NO, one of the children that comes to visit Hope is BLIND!! Aaagh, I know where they're going with this: they're going to make a big deal about her being blind, so she doesn't care how a horse looks!! NOOOO, this is NOT the Lifetime Channel!!

There she goes again, getting choked up.

Aaah, I started drooling when they were talking about Chinese food.
Lol, chinois. Je ne parle japonais. Tu parles japonais??

Lynne, Anna's mom, is wearing a denim shirt.

Ugh, Lynne and Josie point out in front of everybody that Anna is tactless. Sooo mean.

WHY DO THEY ALWAYS HAVE TO VOTE ON EVERYTHING?? It's so obvious that Hope is perfect with children and would love to live at the Friendship House.

"Apples, carrots, and turnips had been hung across the lower part of the stable doors, and Hope and Charity were busy nibbling them off their strings."
What? That sounds like a colic situation. The Pony Pals would not approve.

Whaaa?? "The joint's jumping." That sounds rad, cat. Golly gee, I sure darn wish there was a hop tonight, so we could all JAM!!

Ugh, and the book ends with a bunch of little kids all hugging and kissing Hope and Hope looking SOOO happy. Gag.

So yeah. A VERY, VERY awful Unicorns of Balinor tomorrow. If you don't hate Ari now, you most likely will tomorrow. Maybe a Madison Finn if I'm not busy.

I got two pickles, hey hey hey, or Pony Pals #24: Unlucky Pony

Aaargh, this book was so sad. Actually, it mostly sucked, but there was one part that seriously brought tears to my eyes. Yeah, Jeanne Betancourt gets a new illustrator, but fires her and gets a new one in the next book!! Then in #27, it's back to Paul Bachem!! Will we ever be free?



Plot: Remember Lucky? The annoying bratty pony with no mother? The one the Pony Pals finally got rid of? Well, he's back, and more spoiled than ever. Aaargh. Eve Greeley, his owner, is putting up with some pretty dangerous behaviors. Her parents want to get rid of him, so the Pony Pals decide to help Eve train Lucky.
Surprise! Lucky is a brat! He even tramples through someone's corn field!
Eve is pretty sad, but is surprisingly mature about the whole thing, and decides to give Lucky to the Pony Pals rather than see him shipped to a new owner. :*(
Yay! The Pony Pals think up a new plan! Lucky can live at the Crandal's for the time being! Lightning will show him who's boss! And Eve can ride Daisy! Yay!
What promised to be a realistic picture of life with ponies is once again disappointing. But hey, what did you expect from Jeanne Betancourt?

More notes:
Nice, Jeanne. Copy the intro of #3.

Pam insinuates that Eve is retarded because she has crappy handwriting.

Surprise! A new illustrator!! Anna looks normal, but Pam looks at least 60 and Lulu looks like a super model. I wonder who the illustrator's favorite character is.

Another example of Pony Pal hypocrisy: Anna and Lulu gallop up to Pam. I thought that was "dangerous".

AAAAAAAAAAGH! This is the worst letter ever. How old is this girl?:
Dear Pony Pals,
It's me. Eve Greeley. [great way to not use a comma or colon] I adopted the baby pony from you. I named him Lucky. You said that was okay. [GET TO THE POINT!]
Lucky is so cute. He is full of energy. All he wants to do is play and kick and run around. He loves treats.
Do you remember Freckles? [Yes, I could never forget that name.] She doesn't want to play with Lucky anymore. [HA!] But Lucky plays with me.
My dad and mom say Lucky is too hard to handle. But I love him. [AAAAAAAGH!] I want to train him, then I can ride him some day. [What? There should definitely be a so in there.]
Can you help me train Lucky? Please? My dad says it is okay. Our telephone number is 354-90000. [That telephone number does not exist. There should only be 3 zeroes. Get your facts straight, Jeanne.] Please help Lucky and me. [LUCKY AND I! LUCKY AND I!]
Your friend,
Eve
P.S. Lucky will be one year old next week.

Way to repeat yourself.

WHY ARE THEY SUDDENLY ON VACATION!!?? Wait a minute! It's been a year since they took care of Lucky. ALL OF THEM ARE STILL TEN YEARS OLD!!! How many summers have passed since then?? THEY'RE FROZEN IN TIME!

Heh. I remember the first time the ponies met Lucky. Acorn and Lightning tried to kill him.

Omg, Jeanne totally worships Lulu in this one. She's all talking about Lulu is soooo saaaaad not to have a mother, so that makes her love baby animals with no mothers. *sob sob sob* Not. :P

I'm really trying to figure out how Snow White could've gotten trapped in that barbed wire.

Continuity error. Anna got Acorn when she was 9, not 10.

Pam spells "cozy" wrong, and Anna puts too much food in Lucky's feed bin. Didn't she freak out when a 6 year old overfed Acorn?

OMG!!! THE GREELEYS GET IN AN ACCIDENT! THE VIOLENCE! THE VIOLENCE!!

But no one is seriously hurt. Lucky has a cut on his leg.

Whatever. This illustrator can't draw black people. Pam looks like a boy with a huge mouth.

Yeah, let the Pony Pals go find Lucky. Smart.

They care more about the station wagon than they do the Greeleys.

LOL, the Pony Pals are friends with a police officer. They haven't been doing time, have they?

Okay, I thought Lucky wasn't badly hurt, but they find enough blood on the ground to fill a horror movie.

OMG, Pam is such a pessimist!! She keeps thinking Lucky will bleed to death!

Bla bla bla, another examples of how ponies are AAAALWAYS right.

BAY AND BROWN ARE NOT THE SAME THING!!!

Aaagh. The guy's mad because the pony's trampling his corn. Give him a break.

LOL!
"'I'll give you five minutes,' the man said. The corners of his mouth turned up in an evil grin. 'And since it's your pony, you're responsible for the damage to my corn crop.'" OMG THAT'S SO CONNIVING AND HILARIOUS! The Pony Pals never have to pay, tho. :P

Pam starts singing "All the Pretty Horses" to lure Lucky towards her. Wth? Is she trying to seduce him?

Yeah, that's right. It's not just a shallow cut on the leg, Dr. Crandal.

The farmer calls her an idiot and questions her methods. LOL it's cracking me up.

Ooookay, this is so not how I pictured Mr. Farmer. He looks like one of the people that heads the Star Wars conventions.

He's right, you know. Isn't this rescue mission making Lucky more spoiled?

Okay, I REALLY hate how the Pony Pals are all calling Lucky spoiled and badly behaved, but Acorn does a lot of these things and it's "cute". Lightning bites people, and she's "sick". Snow White gets sick all the time. Whatever. That's so a cry for attention. I just wish their ponies threw the occasional shoe or seemed at least a little normal.

Eve looks like a Cabbage Patch doll.

IT'S NOT A DEEP CUT???? Then where did all that blood come from????

"That pony should have been named Trouble instead of Lucky." Right. Ha ha. Rolling around on the floor here.

Go Freckles. Knock some sense into that boy.

EWWWW, how creepy does this sound??
"But even if I had time, I'm not that interested in ponies. I prefer little girls. And cats. I like cats."
OMG!!!!! Lock all your doors and windows, children. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR!

Eve totally makes it sound like she's in an abusive relationship rather than having pony trouble.

Lame. They won't let Eve in their club. Wasn't she like 9 in SS1? That's not that much younger. And yet they group her with Mimi and Rosalie. :P

SERIOUSLY, read this. If you didn't know it was about a pony, you would think this was off of Dr. Phil or something.
Anna: What else does he do that he shouldn't?
Eve: He pushes me. Once he stepped on my foot. It hurt.
Anna: If he pushes you, Eve, elbow him. You have to be firm with him.
Lulu: What else does he do that you don't like?
Eve: Sometimes he scares me. I think he's going to kick me. I'm even afraid to brush him.

Lucky's being spoiled isn't all your fault, Eve. It's actually the PONY PALS fault. I love how their not taking responsibility at all.

LAME, Lulu looks like a supermodel in every picture.

AAAAAAAAAAAAGH THEY'RE HAVING SPAGHETTI!!! AGAIN!!

Weren't Jack and Jill 6 a while back? Did they go back in time?

Lame. They watch "Black Beauty" and Eve cries. Way to go.

Eve cries herself to sleep.

Just because Eve loves Lucky doesn't mean she should get to keep him. I loved Howard (the only other dog I've ever had, and I had him for a grand total of three days), but he bit Nathan's face off. Man up, Eve.

NOT EVERYONE LIKES PONIES! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL!

Since when is Lightning Supermom? Didn't she attack Lucky the first time she met him? And wasn't Snow White the one who was all matronly? What's with the Lightning/Lucky BFF thing going on?

Susan Royer Rigby (new illustrator) can draw horses and ponies pretty well...but I miss Vivien Kubbos. She was da bomb, even if she did mix up Lulu and Anna.

Wait, Lucky is a year old? The pictures make him look like a newborn.

LOL, they decide to let Lightning teach Lucky to behave. It totally reminded me of the song "Smack" by Ugly Duckling. SMACK! You needed that, I'LL TEACH YOU HOW TO ACT. LOL cracks me up.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH the worst Anna drawing yet!!! The people in it look like SMURFS!!

Wouldn't throwing a birthday party for Lucky make him MORE spoiled?

WHAT? Pam says Eve won't be able to ride Lucky for years. Um, don't people start riding their horses at age 2?

Lucky attacks Lightning. He's so brave.

Aaargh. Eve is a great rider. I want someone to ride badly and see what happens. Wait. Rema was a bad rider and a snob. I guess the moral of this story is if you can't ride, you're an awful person. I guess this means I would not fit in in Wiggins.

Pam is the biggest pessimist EVER.

If the horse is biting and kicking your mother, HE IS NOT MAKING PROGRESS!!

Ew, an awful drawing of Pam with a really huge face.

Retarded. Lulu is being all sneaky about a present. We never actually find out what it is.

This part is so sad! I felt for Eve. Me and feel probably don't go in the same sentence, but for realz...
Dear Pony Pals,
I have a present for you. It is Lucky. [Okay, this might be sad, but COLONS!!!] I can't take care of him. You will love him and train him. He'll play with your ponies. Please let Lucky be a Pony Pal. [Since you won't let Eve be one. :P]
Your friend,
Eve
Awwwww. This is the first time in Pony Pals history that any character has shown even an ounce of maturity!

And then we see Eve's pitiful drawings of ponies. They're pretty bad and they ruin the mood.

Aaargh. They decide to board Lucky for free. WHAT'S WITH ALL THIS "FOR FREE" STUFF?

They say "yummy".

I've never seen silver sprinkles.

I THOUGHT PONY PAL TRAIL WAS A SECRET!

Lol. They make "Lucky's #1!" jokes.

Retarded. Mr. and Mrs. Greeley go for it.

Aaargh. I just wanted the parents to get rid of Lucky and have the characters actually GROW for a change. But no. No no no no.
OMG!!! I found my ancient (like, 6th grade) end to the Pony Pals. It was written like 10 years after the whole series. Lulu marries Mark, Pam marries some dude, Anna marries Charlie, and Tommy and Mike get trampled in a Winnie the Pooh parade. That was the only part I liked. It was pretty badly written. Anna was all abusive, Pam was in love with herself, and Lulu kept saying, "Omigosh! Acorn! Omigosh!" Aaagh. I love the part about the parade, though. Made my day.

Even worse than the Pony Pals, or Pony Pals #14: Pony-Sitters

How come Pam is an oldest child, Anna is a youngest child, and Lulu is an only child? I guess to further emphasize their many differences. I wish Lulu were a middle child. But then we would have more siblings to contend with. We already have Jack and Jill, the Martha Stewart clones, and Anna's older sister, who changes her name like 20 times. I'm actually in a pretty good mood today and this one wasn't that horrible, so I'm not as critical as I might be. "Circus Pony" is still in the hands of that 7-year-old....



Plot: Everyone in Wiggins, it seems, loves ponies. Mimi Kline seems to like them even more than the Pony Pals, or that annoying Rosalie kid! For her birthday, the Mr. and Mrs. Kline decide to buy her a pony and enlist Anna as her pony-sitter! Basically Anna will teach Mimi how to act around a pony and they will have a jolly old time. She will also teach Mimi how to ride.
But, because this is Anna we are talking about, she can't do anything without the Pony Pals. Now all three of them are pony-sitters!
The Klines buy an adorable Shetland pony named Tongo. Mimi loves Tongo. Tongo loves Mimi. They look so cute together.
But Mimi is a brat. She treats Tongo violently, doesn't listen to the Pony Pals, and runs around in circles. Come on, though. She's 5. She's a brat, but she's 5.
One day, Mimi runs away with Tongo and Mr. Monkey (don't ask). Her parents freak out and call the National Guard, the FBI, the CIA, and the state police.
But it turns out Mimi was just playing Hide-and-Seek with Tongo in the woods.
The Klines are convinced, like Anna's parents in Book #2, that Tongo is a bad influence and send him away.
But the Pony Pals tell them that Tongo is a good boy, and the Klines cave.
Mimi and Tongo forever.
That was boring.

More notes:
They don't actually explain who Mimi is in the beginning. And since when does Anna have neighbors besides Lulu?

"We call ourselves the Pony Pals." I don't think the nice people care, Anna.

Tongo is a pretty cute name. Totally naming my pony Tongo.

"Small ponies can be spoiled." So can big ponies....

Awwww, Bubble is a cute name, too.

It really rubs me the wrong way when people refer to horses as blonde.

I thought Mr. Olson worshiped Acorn? Apparently not?

Jeanne Betancourt needs to use semicolons instead of making a new sentence.

Doesn't kickball require more than two people? Wouldn't it be "kicking a ball" or "playing soccer" rather than "kickball"?

Yeah. Pulling the pony's tail. Not smart.

We now know that the Pony Pals eat at the diner for free. Lame.

I want a purple riding helmet really bad.

Really, how hard is it to ride? You sit. They pull. Horse goes. Well, when you're a little kid. When you're older, they start on the stupid technicalities.

Mimi talks to herself in third person.

And she wants to see Tongo's bellybutton.

Do ponies really not have bellybuttons? I'm going to check up on that.

Tongo so ugly in all the pictures.

Where do they keep Tongo if they're riding up and down the driveway? I'm not seeing a stable for this family.

AAAAAAAAAGH! You don't have to know that much about horses to let a little kid play with one. Just utilize proper safety habits.

I hate this sentence:
"He did whatever Lulu asked him to do. Walk. Trot. Or halt."
WHY??? WHY CAN'T YOU USE COMMAS????

I remember class trips to the museum. I've never been to an actual museum with dinosaurs and paintings and stuff, tho. Only to the Washington State History Museum or whatever and that stupid Seattle Art Museum. Jealous.

Mrs. Bell is an idiot.
Pam: After, we're having dinner at the diner with Lulu's father.
Lulu: He's going to tell us about his trip to India. He was in India studying monkeys. (you didn't have to say India twice)
Mimi: I have a monkey! He's MY Mr. Monkey.
Mrs. Bell: Mr. Monkey is a stuffed animal.
NO. DUH.

They saw a painting that looked just like Mr. Monkey! I totally pictured a sock monkey when they mentioned Mr. Monkey. *shudder* What kind of sicko takes time and energy to paint sock monkeys?

Mwahahaha, they think something terrible has happened to Mimi.

They've been at the museum all day. Of course Mimi isn't with them.

They think someone kidnapped Mimi. Yeah. Right. Mrs. Bell was there, she would've heard the screaming, or at least someone randomly walking in. How exactly are they picturing this scene?
Kidnapper: Hey, kid.
Mimi: WHAT?
Kidnapper: Come with me.
Mimi: Okay. Let's go visit Tongo!
I bet he was wearing a ski mask, too. Isn't a ski mask the red flag?

They think maybe she went to visit a friend. I totally expected Mrs. Kline to say, "SHE HAS NO FRIENDS!"

Still not saying poop. Now they're saying "pony plop". Better than "you-know-what".

Oh. She's playing Hide and Seek with Tongo. OF COURSE. In the woods. At night. No danger here!

What? Pam and Lulu are working their butts of, too, but Anna is the only one getting paid????

Mr. Monkey is kind of cute....

Why is it Anna's fault that Mimi is losing her pony? Can't figure that out.

The Klines own a hardware store. Didn't know that either.

Oh, Anna didn't teach her enough safety and let her think she could be a Pony Pal. I'm sure that's why she ran away, Anna.

Mimi wasn't really lost. But the Pony Pals withhold this information till the end.

Heh. Mrs. Bell is all Italian.

Rosalie and the Pony Pals seem to have been frozen in time, because everyone else grows older but they're still the same age.

Mimi is subjecting Rosalie to slave labor.

AAAAAAH! Mimi is going to grow up to be a serial killer, because she blames everything on Mr. Monkey/split personality.

The Klines think Anna is on the crack corn, too.

The author felt she had to describe how each character laughed at Mimi's witty joke.

Mimi has more energy than a million batteries. Heh.

Oh boy. That was...really boring. But Super Special #2 is up next! Ooh, a special edition pony topper??? Check it!

The Stories of Our Ponies
Pony Pals Super Special #2

The Pony Pals want to write a book about their ponies. They interview past owners, and even meet Snow White's foal! This great story comes with your very own Pony Pal pencil with a fuzzy pony topper and specially designed mini-notebook, plus a free pony portrait bookmark and two collecting cards.

You'll love this very special Pony Pals book!

Man. I guess Acorn didn't father Snow White's baby. :(
OMG, I read the plot summary for Super Special #4 and Snow White and Acorn HATE EACH OTHER! LOL! And I thought they were lovers. Wow, was I wrong. So Lightning and Pam have to play peacemaker. Not peachmaker.
So jealous. I want a fuzzy pony topper.

And stay out! or Pony Pals #12: Keep out, Pony!

Yeah, I know I said I'd wait for "Circus Pony" before I posted again, but I'm a pretty impatient person, and that little 7-year-old kid isn't reading fast enough. And I have 12-15 in my possession and no other books to read.... So "Circus Pony" will have to wait. I said that last time, didn't I? I've put a hold on #16 and I'm pretty excited about that one. Lulu gets in a tragic accident. But she doesn't die. Awwww.... And she has to conquer a fear of riding again. Sort of lame, but I'm looking forward to tragic accident. But on to "Keep Out, Pony!"



Plot: Pam is going on a ride with her buddy and partner-in-crime Lightning and her annoying dog Woolie when she comes upon a sheep pen in the middle of Pony Pal Trail! You all remember Pony Pal Trail, right? If you don't (I might have never told you about it), it's the mile-and-a-half trail that connects Pam and Anna's houses. Since Lulu now lives right next to Anna, it becomes EXTRA convenient for all the lil friends to meet and greet and...yeah. BUT THERE ARE SHEEP ON PONY PAL TRAIL! Anna and Lulu come upon the sheep, too, and all of them are very confoozed. Woolie isn't, however. He likes to bark at sheep, because he is a SHEEPDOG. Haha. Not.
GASP! The new owners of the property come to chase the Pony Pals away and tell them to NEVER TRESPASS ON THEIR PROPERTY AGAIN!!!
The Pony Pals are crushed. THEY LOVE PONY PAL TRAIL! But it does not love them back. So they try to think up ideas to get the Stewarts to let them back on the trail.
They write the Stewarts a nice letter.
No dice.
They invite the Stewarts over for a tea party!
The Stewarts accept the invitation...only to not attend due to their pregnant sheep.
It seems the Pony Pals will never get their trail back. But then, after trespassing on the Stewarts' property AGAIN, they find a newborn lamb stuck in the bushes. It got seperated from its mammy! They take care of it and put it back with its mammy, while Woolie watches the flock (awwwww). Mrs. Stewart comes home, finds the girls, and is furious...until she finds out they saved a lamb. This changes her mind about everything, and the Pony Pals get the trail back! Yaaaaaaaaaay!

More notes:
I hate Woolie. So Happy from "7th Heaven". It annoys me.

I want to know exactly what was going through Pam's head at that moment: Zut alors! Sheep!

Snow White scared of sheep. Hate.

Mr. Stewart comes out carrying a big stick. Wth? Violent much?

The stupid Pony Pals riff is back and its bigger than ever before.

"Pam brushed Woolie's golden bangs back with her fingers and looked into his eyes." That does NOT sound like they're referring to a dog.

The origins of the Pony Pal trail, how exciting. It can't be THAT secret. Come on, people LIVE on it.

These girls can eat a mess of brownies.

They only go riding on weekends? Together? Don't horses need more that?

If they live there and are building a sheep pen, I think they own.

"Cynthia Prindle Stewart"? What kind of name is that?

Who is Julie Rosen? Since when has she let the Pony Pals ride on her land? WHO IS THIS WOMAN?

Mr. Crandal is so mean. OMG, DAISY IS BACK! Remember her #6? They never reference other books, besides #1 and #2.

"Come on, Lightning. Do it for Woolie." That sounds wrong.

The girls congratulate each other for sneaking onto the Stewarts' property without being noticed.

Pam writes a letter. Part of it says, "Our ponies are very well-behaved." Um, isn't Acorn always being mischevious and running away from Anna? And doesn't Lightning get moody and bite people?

Heh. Mrs. Stewart sends Pam hatemail.

Pam is so pessimistic.

Wth, they're in 5th grade. What kind of school do they go to? 5th graders and 8th graders are schooled together and they all get LOCKERS? Unfair.

"Do something nice for the Stewarts." LIKE WHAT? LIKE WHAT?

What is it with these Wiggins-y people and free business? "Oh, my dad will build two gates in the sheep pen for FREE!"

Who uses the word "companion" in 5th grade? Actually, Kelvin did sometimes. Heh. Kelvin. I remember that kid.

Doesn't the second bell mean you're late? The Pony Pals are skipping class!!!

I agree, Pam. Throwing a grown-up party for the Stewarts is a bad idea.

They lie and tell Mrs. Stewart about a party that doesn't exist. Oh, wait, it's a TEA PARTY. For GROWN UPS.

Why is Ms. Wiggins in Paris???? Did she get bored with Conecticut and leave?

Apparently Lulu is a tea party expert.

Lol, for a whole page they discuss this and I totally pictured them with British accents.

What a wonderful menu.
Cucumber sandwhiches, a lamb cake (not made out of lambs), brownies, candy, fruit punch, tea.
Sounds like a little kid's birthday party. Minus the gross sandwhiches.

Okay, I'm probably just crazy, but COME ON, EDITORS!
*they see the lamb*
Anna: It's so cute.
Lulu: Look! There's ANOTHER baby lamb.
Anna: There's ANOTHER baby lamb.
Pam: She had twins!
What??? Didn't you just say there were three??? SO CONFUSED.

Dang, three babies? How many babies can sheep pop out?

Queenie is an awful name. And the lamb looks like a dog with a bad haircut.

Ew, picture of Mrs. Stewart. She's way old. I was totally picturing some newlyweds with a sheep fetish.

Again, the Pony Pals don't want to be paid to be sheep sitters. How ELSE are you going to pay for all those brownies you eat?

Anna's father is a carpenter? I thought he was a firefighter.....

Remind me how Lightning assisted in saving Pony Pal Trail. Really, I can't figure this out. She just acted crabby and comforted Pam in her despair. That's not that much of an accomplishment.

So that's that. I really want a lamb cake. I also finished the one about the city girl who hated ponies, so I'll post when I's done wif dis. Aaargh, the next one discussed the Pony Pals' lack of social skills. You'll see for yourselves.

Safe Sitters for losers, or Super Special #1: Pony Pals: The Baby Pony

I don't understand how this is a super special. It's only 91 pages, shorter than the longest Pony Pals book. I guess it's super because the author felt she had to write in three different personalities at once. What a challenge. Oh, and there are a few more pictures than normal.




Plot: Some random person drops a baby pony off at Crandal Animal Clinic (it has a name? I just thought if it as the Crandals' house). The pony is three days old and its mother died. The Pony Pals start to feed it, and love it, and take care of it for about 80 pages. But taking care of a pony is hard work.
A woman comes and tries to buy Baby Pony (they couldn't think up a better name than that). They refuse because the woman is mean and wants to sell him for a lot of money.
But then a little crying girl and her dad come along and the Pony Pals take pity on her because her own pony died. BUT THEY REFUSE THE MONEY AND ARE JUST HAPPY WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT BABY PONY HAS A GOOD HOME. The End. Snore.

More notes:
Pony Pal Trail is Anna's favorite place "in the world". Something tells me Anna doesn't get out of Wiggins very often.

No, I don't think about how I met my friends every time I see them.

"A bay-colored foal." Why can't they say bay and leave it at that?

"Lulu rubbed the foal's silky brown coat. It was the softest thing she'd ever touched." You've obviously never met Luke.

Geez, Pam, way to be dramatic. "'The foal has to start drinking soon-' Pam finished the sentence in a whisper. "-or he'll die.'"

Psyche, it turns out Lulu actually HAS been to Africa. But if that's true, why didn't Mr. Sanders want to take her on the elephant trip? Africa's pretty dangerous without poachers. Meaning lions and civil war.

They say "nipple" like 20 times on one page. It made me laugh.
Lulu: Maybe we can get the foal to drink from a bottle with a nipple. [Don't all bottles have nipples?]
Pam: Good idea.
Anna: Do we give him plain old milk?
Pam: It'd be better to give him mare's milk. My dad has some powdered mare's milk in the office. You stay with the foal and I'll go look.
Anna: We'll need a bottle with a nipple, too.

We have to listen to more stuff about Lulu's dead mother and how awful it is. We get it.

Another barrage of nipples....

If Pam hadn't been so selfish and drunk all the milk, they wouldn't be in this predicament! Shame, shame, shame....

Interesting...Jack and Jill are a year older, but the Pony Pals are still 10. This reminds me of the story about the lightbuckers.

They're milking a goat. Totally reminds me of Milk Off.

Pam, you are talking to a goat. What's wrong with you?

Jeanne Betancourt must like the word "nipple" because she uses it A LOT.

Wait...isn't taking care of animals Mr. Crandal's job? How come he doesn't have time to take care of a foal? It's not like he has a lot of clients. He only gets clients when one of the ponies gets sick or the Pony Pals find a cat, which they do quite often, I've noticed.

It's suddenly summer vacation? And more conveniently, it just STARTED, so the Pony Pals have plenty of time to hand rear a newborn foal!

Couldn't Mr. Olson do it? He's always at home and doesn't seem to have much of a life, as he frequently runs horse shows when he gets bored.... Yeah, I know, this coming from a girl who reads "Pony Pals" and blogs about it.

Sure, Anna. Because he is a adorable, it will be fun. Try baby-sitting sometime.

EWWWWWW there's a picture of the foal; he's bald and his neck is 10 feet thicker than his body.

Anna admits that she's crap at spelling. I'm proud of you, Anna.

And then she had to go and be all cocky about her artistic talents....

Pam is not a very good writer and she has bad grammar.

Ha ha, umbillicus is a funny word.

How do you know he misses his mother? He never really knew her, did he?

Um, WHAT? The Pony Pals will be LIVING at the Crandal's for the next few weeks. And their parents are OKAY WITH THIS???

There's a whole page on the Pony Pals and their attempts at making straw furniture. Yawn.

Yes. I can see a pony crawling under a fence. Not.

RED FLAG: Pam has her arm around Anna....

Oh, sure, it's normal for ponies to pound other ponies into a bloody pulp.... Wait...I thought a few books ago Pam was priding Lightning on being able to get along with strange ponies. I know Acorn has issues, but Lightning was pretty stellar in #6.

I wish they would stop calling him Baby Pony.

Bats. In the loft. Can you say RABIES?

Acorn is WAY too huge to be a Shetland. He's as tall as Lightning and is all lean and crap.

Anna is a gourmet cook?

This foal is vicious.

Pam and Lulu can't make up their minds about Baby Pony.
Pam: He's getting spoiled.
Lulu: He just wants a mother. You can't blame him for that. [Actually....]
*later*
Lulu: *trying to sleep* His feeding isn't for another hour.
Pam: He just wants company.

No, I don't think ponies tackling people is very cute behavior.

Whoever receives the Baby Pony Journal is going to be bored out of their minds.

They mention Baby doing a little jig pretty much every 5 seconds.

I think Anna's shirt says "Jail" on it. Jealous, I want a shirt like that.

More Snow White worship. Blah. I hate Snow White.

Snow White had a foal? How come we didn't hear about this earlier?

"...he did a little jig of joy." That, with the alliteration, does not sound cute.

Baby bites Lulu and they don't think this is a problem.

Baby tries to nurse from Snow White and she pushes him to the ground. Snow White is trying to teach Baby to man up.

Aw, cute picture. Snow White actually looks like a pony.

Anna: Snow White's a great baby sitter and teacher.
Why, because she's white?

Seriously, if the only other option was Lulu, I'd rather be called Lucinda. Or at least Lucy.

Of course there are no nursing mares available in Wiggins. Because only 5 people in Wiggins own ponies!!!

How come the Pony Pals never have to pay for the brownies Mrs. Harley makes them?

Mrs. Harley: When do you think you'll start sleeping at home again?
Anna: Not until we find a nursing mare for Baby Pony.
Pam: Just pretend Anna's at a sleep-away camp, Mrs. Harley.
Mrs. Harley: It sounds more like a work-away camp.
*cough cough* ISLAND LAKE. *cough cough*

Anna: Sand. What a pretty name for a horse. I bet she's a Palomino.
I'll bet she isn't.

Lol, I want a yellow convertible.

I agree! Baby is no name for a horse! It's right up there with all the other annoying overused names for animals.
Overused animal names: Baby, Oreo, Blackie, Brownie, Whitey, Tabby, Lucky, Muffin, Patches, Smokey
I like the name Oreo, tho. It's just that everyone who gets a black and white hamster is all, "OMFG, OREO!"

Heh. Victoria's horse is named Perfection. I'm totally getting a horse and naming him Irony.

The Pony Pals don't want to sell Baby Pony to Victoria Winters because she wants to train him and sell him for a lot of money. Uh, yeah, that's some people's JOB. That's so stupid, tho. Once they buy him, they can do whatever they want with him. Suck it up.

Whatever. Ponies are worth way more than $100.

OH NO! A HORSE NAMED FRECKLES! How I despise that name. That's right up there next to Blackie and Brownie.

Wait...Freckles is a horse...YES! HORSES DO EXIST IN "PONY PALS"!

Eve, Freckles' owner, is way annoying. "I would've taken care of my foal if he hadn't died. That's what my foal would've looked like. My foal would've eaten that grass. My foal would've voted Republican, bla bla bla...."

They rub the smell of Freckles' dead colt all over Baby Pony. Um, creepy??

WHAT? They decide to give Baby Pony away and will accept no money. I noticed Mr. Crandal isn't here to oversee this transaction. I bet he'll be mad when he finds out....

OH NO, SHE NAMES HIM LUCKY! *see list*

I'm sorry, I just really hate the name Lucky for a horse. Especially for a "witty" reason. "His name is Lucky, because I'm so lucky to have him." "His name is Lucky because he's my good luck charm!" "His name is Lucky because he's green like a Care Bear!" "Say whaaaat?"

And you thought Anna's handwriting was bad...Eve's is even worse.
Eve, Lucky, Freckles, and her dad are never heard from again....

Yeah. That was not enjoyable. I'm still waiting on "Circus Pony", but if it doesn't come in 2 days, I'll start reading "Keep Out, Pony" (#12) and "The Girl Who Hated Ponies" (#13). I also have "Pony Sitters" (#14) and "The Blind Pony" (#15), but those are painful to read.

This was my hell, without or without you, or Pony Pals #6: Too Many Ponies

First thing: HOW CAN YOU HAVE TOO MANY PONIES??? That's like saying too many Sugar Babies, or too much chocolate, or too many cows, or too many hot eligible bachelors. It's just not possible.
Aaargh, this one made me angry on Pam's behalf. Just...read on. Seriously, Pam would be a much nicer and independent person if she weren't friends with Lulu and Anna. She and Rema should hang out.


Plot: Pam wants to buy a new saddle for Lightning, so she gets a job training two new ponies for her mother. Splash is a feisty lil toaster, but Goldie is lazy and shy. However, training the ponies takes up most of Pam's free time, which angers Lulu and Anna.
One day, after a disastrous trail ride with Goldie, the Pony Pals revolt against Pam and tell her to bring back Lightning, because she's ignoring Lightning and making trail riding not fun. Hello, you could go WITHOUT Pam. And they also complain that now they can't do what THEY want to do. Suck it up. Friendship requires sacrifice. It's so obvious that the others are just JEALOUS, and Pam tells them that. But they deny it and start throwing rocks at her, so she goes home.
But when she goes to tack up Lightning and take her riding, Lightning is not herself. She's acting mean and ornery (what else is new?). Pam is convinced that Lightning is angry at her for ignoring her, so she breaks down crying and begs for forgiveness. No luck. The Pony Pals come and try to get Lightning to calm down. Lightning tries to kick them.
Suddenly, Fat Cat (the Crandall's new cat) comes in and, LO AND BEHOLD! She had her kittens in Lightning's stall! Lightning was just PROTECTING THEM. She's not angry at all! So all is well, and Pam asks the Pony Pals to help her with her job. They agree (not because they're good friends; they just want to get paid), but then Pam's mom fires her. Sort of. But Pam no longer has a job. But she's okay with that! Yay! Pony Pals powers activate! In the form of...a loser.

More notes:
Pam is really pretty in this book.

Since when does Mr. Olson sell saddles? Doesn't he specialize in horse/ponies?

Lulu: Daisy's a true palomino color.
Nooooo...really?

If I were Pam, I'd rather work than hang with the Pony Pals. They were going to look for old houses. How fun.

All horses snort. All ponies snort. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR STUPID PONY!!!

I kind of feel for Lightning. If I'd been about to go out with my friends, and Nathan suddenly decided for both of us that we shouldn't go (that's the closest thing I can think of to a rider/pony relationship. Also: if William didn't want to, so that meant I couldn't. :P), I would KILL HIM.

Woolie reminds me of Happy from "7th Heaven". Aaaargh.

I don't think many kindergardners use the word "artist".

Heh. Pam's mom called her dumb.

Splash is way cute on the cover, but he looks more paint than Appaloosa. In the book, he looks way palomino/donkey. Also, I don't think there's such a thing as an Appaloosa pony....

"But when Pam was doing a posting trot...." You could just say, "But when Pam was posting...."

Jezebel and No Tail? What horrible names for cats.

Ouch. Pam's mom is cruel.

Wow. This is sounding way Star Wars fanfic-y. "I have to. It's my JOB." Replace it with destiny and you wouldn't know the difference.

They think Fat Cat is a boy at first. They're ten. They should know what makes boys and girls different.

Dr. Crandall doesn't call Pam dumb. He's too nice.

"The Pony Pals watched Acorn and Lightning trot toward the big maple tree. Snow White followed at a slower pace. When the faster ponies reached the tree, they turned around and went back to get Snow White.
'They're great friends,' Anna remarked. 'Just like us.'"
That little pony exchange could represent the friendship: Anna and Pam are smart and a little stupid, and Lulu's kind of slow and just tags along behind.

Anna is acting way 5-year-old.

Heh. Pam is so awesome in this book. Until they break her. Just like in #3....

Ugh, Pony Pals = so emotionally manipulative....
"I wish you could come with us tomorrow, Pam."
"I thought being Pony Pals meant we rode together."
Lulu rides by herself all the time. And Anna rode away on her pony without telling the others. Hypocritical much?

I think Pam just said, "Screw you."

"We'll do a dig. Like archaeologists." I would die in this town.

LOL. Picture on page 35: Lulu and Anna are shocked that Splash is trying to race, and Pam looks like she's laughing her head off.

Lulu: This is a bad idea. It's dangerous for us to ride with Splash.
It's probably not good training, but you could just let Splash LEAD.

Pam has a barn piggy bank. At least she's learning about money. And she has a goal in mind.

Picture: Pam is all, "What?" and the others are all *glare of death*.

Anna: Why didn't you tell us you were riding Daisy today?
Lulu: Lightning must hate you.
:O What's wrong with them??? Pam should've carried this on long after the whole "fight" was over. "Anna, you didn't tell me you were wearing that shirt today. Ho."

Lulu: I just hate it when we plan something and then can't do it.
You could've gone there with Anna every day last week. But you're such a dependent loser that you can't think for yourself.
Aaaargh, and Anna's all, "It's like you're not even a Pony Pal anymore!" Why, because she has a job, she's more mature than y'all, and she wants to help her parents? Yeah, I would say she's sort of growing out of the Pony Pals....

"You keep doing things without telling us. Like bringing these other ponies on rides." Part of their whole argument was that Acorn and Snow White missed Lightning. I honestly don't think your ponies care that much. Besides, Acorn and Snow White need some alone time...so that they can make that beautiful Shetland/Welsh baby I keep imagining.

Pam: I have a JOB. I can't play all the time like you.
Lulu: Pam, you're working too hard. You never just have fun anymore.
Uh, yeah, she has fun training ponies. WITHOUT YOU GUYS.
Pam: You guys are just jealous that I have a job and you don't.
Lulu: That's ridiculous. I am not jealous.
Anna: Me either. (Who asked you?) Who'd want to turn into a grump like you?
A grump with money? I'd willing get a job.
Pam: I'm not a grump. You guys are grumps. You're the ones who are complaining all the time. You're the ones who are being selfish and mean!
OOOOOOOOOOH! PWNED!!! That was seriously amazing! And all of it was true. Seriously, Lulu and Anna, grow up.

To ease her rage, Lulu starts throwing rocks into the river. Yeah.

"Now you can go play in that stupid old house." See!? I'm not the only one who thinks their games are stupid.

They're right about one thing. Daisy is really slow.

Oh no! Don't reminisce! You'll just miss them and think you're wrong! DON'T DO IT!

It does NOT feel special and wonderful to be a Pony Pal. If you like feeling immature and POOR, it's great.

She blames Lulu and Anna, still. Good girl. Lol, she's going all Sith on me.

Ew, Lightning's "angry face" makes her look like a donkey. And Pam's first thought is, "Oh no, she's jealous!"

If only Anna and Lulu hadn't ruined the Pony Pals.... Says Pam in her head. Ha. Great way to be desperate and angry at the same time.

Lulu and Anna say they're sorry, but don't admit they did anything wrong. I think they only said that so Pam would apologize. Jerks.

Lightning tries to kick Pam. Aim for Anna next time.

Random note: I always thought Lightning was the prettiest pony. But she was so moody all the time.

"Maybe there's a poisonous snake in the stall and she doesn't want us to get bitten." Yeah. Great idea. NOT. Lightning would be dead by now. And snakes can MOVE. And I heard they love little girls.

Anna has a thing for cats....

Oh. Lightning was protecting kittens. Sure. Could happen. It happened in "Black Beauty". I think. Only with puppies.

Fat Cat looks like what the Governator would look like if he were a cat.

Mrs. Crandall acts like everything is Pam's fault. Jeez. Now we know why she has such huge control issues.

Anna and Lulu didn't think Pam actually had to work. It's a job, you morons. I can't believe these idiots.

Now Pam wants to give up her job so she can be with her friends. DON'T DO IT, get some new friends, these ones are NOT worth your time.

WHY is Pam offering them this job? Doesn't she realize that her mom will pay her less now because she's paying Lulu and Anna, too? I know money isn't everything, but really. Saddle...or the Pony Pals? Hmm.... I don't even like tack and it's saddle every time.

Lulu: I don't know how to train a pony!
You don't know anything, Lulu.

Anna's mom is still "famous" for her brownies. And she gives the broken ones to the Pony Pals. How do you break a brownie? Confused.

Lulu can't seem to write in complete sentences. And Anna's drawing is actually good.

They mention Fat Cat has a kitten under her leg. What? Is she sitting on it or something? That's not very good parenting skills. Someone should call PETA.

Aaaagh, feminism in the form of cats. "She's a hard working mother AND a mouse chaser."

Mrs. Crandall basically fires Pam. Ouch.

Pam is totally okay with not buying her saddle. Because she'd rather be a Pony Pal with her old saddle. YAY! Why would buying a new saddle change that? Weird.

Yeah. If you couldn't tell, I REALLY hated that one. It was ridiculous. Maybe because I'm the type of person who thinks I'm always right. Probably. But for reals. That's some crazy manipulation. And it makes me mad. Reading #7. I hate that one, too. Arrivederci.

Oh no you di'n't, girlfriend, or Pony Pals #4: Give Me Back My Pony

Yeah. I've got way too much free time. And these books are crazy short. Seriously, the first one was 103, the second one was under 100, the third one was 96, and the fourth was 82. If these get any shorter, they shall become picture books.
I should probably slow down. But then I would have nothing to do.



Plot: Awwww, Lulu is moving back to...nowhere. Her dad doesn't know yet. But she's bummed because she's not only losing her pony to Rema (who is coming home any time now), but she'll be losing the only friends she ever had (she doesn't say that, but you know it's true). Everyone is sad.
(If you forgot, Rema is Snow White's real owner from whom Lulu is leasing her.)
Rema comes home suddenly, and the Pony Pals go to meet her, only to find out that Anna has been right all along: REMA IS A HUGE SNOB. She's also a _itch (there are so many letters you could use), jerk, and...the list goes on. And she treats Snow White badly.
Maybe that's why Snow White keeps running away to Lulu's house.
A great weight is lifted off Lulu's shoulders when her dad comes home and tells her they're not moving after all, because he wants to study black bears in Wiggins!!! Yaaaay! How...exciting! So now the Pony Pals have to concoct a plan to buy Snow White.
But Rema tricks them and sells Snow White to someone else! OH NO!
But then the Pony Pals, the lil tricksters, convince Anita (Snow White's new owner) to buy the Morgan Mr. Olson tried to sell to Anna in book #2. Yaaay. Then Lulu buys Snow White. Yaaaaay. And there was much rejoicing. Yaaaay.

More notes:
Snow White looks really pretty on the cover. Rema looks at least 15 or 16 and Lulu looks like she's 8 and somewhat Asian???

Lulu called Anna dumb. AGAIN.

"Rema's too old to be a Pony Pal. She's around fourteen." Oh, right, because Pony Pals is only for cool ten-year-olds. The author says at the end of the book that you're never too old to be a Pony Pal. Lies.

There Lulu goes, singing "Jingle Bells" again....

They describe Rema as being older because she wears makeup. Uh, I've seen 10-year-olds wear make-up. And I'm fourteen and I don't wear makeup. Who's older?

Who feeds a pony chocolate? Wouldn't the pony seize up and die?

"If I'd known you were so young I wouldn't have left my horse with you. You sounded older in your letters." Ooooh, BAM.

Rema: Wiggins is sooooo boring. What do you do here?
Lulu: But there's so much to do! There's hiking and fishing and...
Rema: I didn't mean what YOU kids do. I meant what teenagers do. LIKE ME.
Hehehehehe. She's mean but funny.

Lulu lets her grandma curl her hair. Because she just doesn't care anymore. If I were that depressed, I'd let my grandma do something COOL, like dye it pink. But noooo....

Yay, a surprise party. SURPRISE.

Jack and Jill are so dumb and crafty!!

Mrs. Wiggins is so lame. "Here...I bought you a journal!" Right...thanks. A red plaid journal. Yessiree...

Anna gave her a portrait of Snow White. How...wonderful.

"Thank you for the party."
"We thought of inviting Rema."
"But then we met her."
OOOOH, BAM. These girls are so MEAN in this book. But it's funny and refreshing to see them act human. And like girls.

"No place is as good as Wiggins. Because no place will have the Pony Pals."
"I know what you mean. How could it?"
And they think this is hilarious. Uhhh, why? I mean, obviously they couldn't have the Pony Pals.... It just doesn't make sense to me.

Lulu's dad tries to break into the Crandall barn. How creepy... "Awww, Dad, you wanted to surprise me!" Noooo, maybe he's a creepy stalker/robber. He should be arrested.

Lulu's dad totally looks like George Lopez.

"I'm going to study the black bear!" He could do that in Washington...

The description of Rema riding Snow White reminded me of myself....

Heh. Deer shriek.

The Pony Pals have a crazy high five fest. This sounds like a Youtube video. I'd love to make one. In slow-mo.

Anna keeps talking about Pony Power. It gets old fast.

They mention buying a pony once to Mr. Sanders and he's all for the idea. :O How is it THAT EASY?

Aha, it's Winifred Wiggins in this book.

LOL there's a picture where Anna looks like a 3 year old.

Anna's pictures are actually good in this book.

Seriously, if that Morgan is such a great horse, how come no one's bought him? Book #3 takes place in like early March. Book #4 is in early to late June. COME ON!!!

Rema looks like Minnie Driver in one picture.

The Pony Pals are shocked that Snow White could shock $2000 dollars. Why not? Isn't that normal for any horse/pony?

OMG, sexism!!! "Tommy wouldn't want a pony. All he cares about is football and teasing girls!" OMG, THAT IS SO HILARIOUS! I laughed for a long time after reading that. Don't ask why.

Mrs. Rand is a horrible parent. She allows Tommy to bully young children. And people wonder why he keeps getting into jail.

If Snow White is 13.2 hands and a Morgan is 14.1 to 15 hands, that's more than just a "little bigger".

HAHAHAHA! THE MORGAN'S NAME IS MORGAN!!! Aaaagh, that kind of annoys the living daylights out of me.