Not a tacky Ingrid Bergman line, or FTFO Madson Finn #3: Play it Again

Doesn't Hart look kind of Clark Kent-y? And Fiona's all hitting on him while Madison looks on cheerfully? I don't think so. Maybe she's busy reveling in her position as director or stage manager or whatever. This is seriously one of my favorite Madison Finn books. Don't know why. Cuz I love junior high drama AND real drama - theater, that is. Ha. Aaargh.



Plot: Far Hills is putting on a show! Something about commemorating a staff member, bla bla bla, so they're having three nights of entertainment: the 7th grade will do "The Wiz", the 8th grade will do "Guys and Dolls", and 9th grade will do New York showtunes? WTH??
Everyone wants to try out for "The Wiz" except Madison. She has stage fright. :P Lame. She decides to be stage manager instead.
Yay. Everyone else gets a part. Aimee is Addaperle, Ivy is Glinda, Egg is Tinman, Fiona is Evillene, Hart is the Wiz, and social outcast Lindsay Frost is Dorothy.
Rehearsals are fun, but Ivy is a real witch. Ha ha ha, another pun. But what's this? Amy and Fiona are being nice to Ivy? And hanging out with her? And excluding Madison? Sounds like DRAMA!!!
Lindsay is really nice, but everyone makes fun of her. Madison likes Lindsay, but doesn't want to be a social outcast, so she ditches her.
The play is a success. Mr. and Mrs. Finn start talking again. Hart introduces Madison to his grandma. Excuse, me, ya-ya. He's Greek. And Madison gets Lindsay to wear her hair down (literally) and go to the cast party. And Aimee and Fiona still like Madison.

More notes:
What the heck???? "You'll probably get the part, Walter. I mean, Egg. *giggle blush giggle*" Retarded.

ROFL!!!! Hart comes to talk to Madison AND SHE RUNS AWAY. Then she runs into Drew in the hall. Stalker....

What the heck? Why did Laura Dower feel the need to humanize Drew and give him issues with his half brother?? It was sort of a nice touch and sort of an overkill?

Hey. There's nothing wrong with being in a play. I can see you thinking Aimee superficial, but not Fiona.

Wth, why do they put the dog on the cast list??? Not funny.

Right. Cast the fat guy as the Lion. LOL, Chet is playing a Munchkin.

Lindsay dresses way 80's. She sounds kind of nice, but it's kind of obvious why she's unpopular. She starts explaining the plot of "Ozma of Oz" in elaborate detail and is like way excited about it. But Aimee is so mean about it.

Ha. Fiona tells Aimee that she sounds like Ivy when she calls people names. Which is basically calling her a slut.

I HATE BASEBALL.

Why is having a keypal such a big deal? Madison acts like her friends are going to freak out because she has an online friend from Washington.

Joey O'Neill? Who's he? And since when do they call him "Nose Plucker"? I thought that was Lance's nickname.

PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH BOY. MAJOR TRAUMA. Lol.

Does Egg have a crush on anything that moves? "Rose is a babe."

Laura Dower admits that boys like naked girls. Or at least half naked girls.

Hart is such a nerd, but it's way adorable. He's all, "Aw man, they're cutting out like half the songs!!!" Because he knows them all by heart.... ANOTHER PUN!!!

"The Finnster has a Phin?" I was really tired or something when I read this because I started laughing way hard.

Whoa, Fiona implies that Madison hates Aimee?? That's the first mean thing she's ever said. Besides the Ivy thing. But that was funny and Aimee deserved it.

Wth, in the first book Madison answers the queston, "A/S/L?" all the time, but now she's like, "TOO UNCOMFORTABLE CUZ OF ONLINE STRANGERZZZ!"

"Sucka" is not a bad word. Lighten up, moderators.

Aww, sad. Bigwheels' parents are splitting up and they chose NOT to tell her younger brother and sister.

Sorry, Lindsay, but everyone is NOT being nice to you.

Madison is ashamed of Aimee? HA!!!

Wth? Ivy and Aimee's banter is way annoying.

HAAAAATE HAAAATE HAAAAAAAAAATE Aimee.

Lol. They make costumes in "junior high sizes".

ANOTHER HARRY POTTER REFERENCE!!!!

I'm soooo glad we dont' have to read "The Diary of Anne Frank" in school. Unless we do and they've postponed it till high school. CRAP.

Ha. Egg calls Aimee "wicked bossy".

Mariah is so emo. She starts talking about how people don't understand the way she dresses, the way she lives, the way she expresses herself....

Didn't Aimee say in #1 that Rose was a crappy dancer? And now she's telling her TO HER FACE that she's really great? You lie through your teeth, blondie.

AAAAAH, SHE GETS SLOPPY JOE ON HER SHIRT. That's so awful.

QUIT DEFENDING IVY!!!

Lame. Madison ditches Lindsay because Aimee tells her to. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF.

OOOOOOH, Madison tells Ivy to stop wasting her time.

Wow. An awkward bonding moment between Madison and Aimee. Aimee is in the bathroom having her period. Awkward.

Lol. Reminds me of Radio Disney. "I want to give a shout out to Hart Jones, my true love!!!"

Drew is way making me laugh. Fiona forgets to invite Maddie to the "Wizard of Oz" nite at his house and he calls her up and is freaking out. "I'M SORRY. I swear I thought one of the girls was gonna ask you. Fiona said she would. I SWEAR."

Waaaaah, I miss Oggy. Phin reminds me so much of him.

No duh. Cheaters get expelled.

Chocolate = worst dog name ever.

"Do we come out for standing ovations? How do we line up for our curtain call?"
"That's assuming people are clapping." LOL!!!

SOOOO mean.
Ivy: Gee, I hope fatso doesn't eat all the Liver Snaps for herself.

Oh no. IVY TOUCHED HART'S ARM!!

Lol. Ivy wanted to be the program's centerfold.

They call Aimee the "Dancing Queen". ABBA much?

Madison tells Ivy to break her leg. Lol.

HART TOUCHED MADISON'S ARM!!

Aww, touching moment with Madison observing Lindsay, a great singer, in the spotlight.

"Hey Finnster. This is my ya ya." Heh.

Awww. It turns out Lindsay was just being positive; she knows that no one really likes her. It's so depressing.

Ew, Madison has a "runner-up" crush on creepy Roger Gillespie.

Lol. Drew came over and said hello to the three girls. "Hey, Madison!"

I don't think Aimee has a chance with Mr. 9th grader.

OH NO, IVY GIVES HART HER NUMBER!!

Lol. "Guess they weren't sleeping..."

Madison's Computer Tip: (they have these at the end of every book but I've been forgetting to post them) TIME FLIES WHEN YOU'RE ONLINE. KEEP AN EYE ON THE CLOCK AND DON'T FORGET YOUR FRIENDS.

Lol. OMG, I MADE A MADDIE FINN COLLAGE! LOOKIT!

I got two pickles, hey hey hey, or Pony Pals #24: Unlucky Pony

Aaargh, this book was so sad. Actually, it mostly sucked, but there was one part that seriously brought tears to my eyes. Yeah, Jeanne Betancourt gets a new illustrator, but fires her and gets a new one in the next book!! Then in #27, it's back to Paul Bachem!! Will we ever be free?



Plot: Remember Lucky? The annoying bratty pony with no mother? The one the Pony Pals finally got rid of? Well, he's back, and more spoiled than ever. Aaargh. Eve Greeley, his owner, is putting up with some pretty dangerous behaviors. Her parents want to get rid of him, so the Pony Pals decide to help Eve train Lucky.
Surprise! Lucky is a brat! He even tramples through someone's corn field!
Eve is pretty sad, but is surprisingly mature about the whole thing, and decides to give Lucky to the Pony Pals rather than see him shipped to a new owner. :*(
Yay! The Pony Pals think up a new plan! Lucky can live at the Crandal's for the time being! Lightning will show him who's boss! And Eve can ride Daisy! Yay!
What promised to be a realistic picture of life with ponies is once again disappointing. But hey, what did you expect from Jeanne Betancourt?

More notes:
Nice, Jeanne. Copy the intro of #3.

Pam insinuates that Eve is retarded because she has crappy handwriting.

Surprise! A new illustrator!! Anna looks normal, but Pam looks at least 60 and Lulu looks like a super model. I wonder who the illustrator's favorite character is.

Another example of Pony Pal hypocrisy: Anna and Lulu gallop up to Pam. I thought that was "dangerous".

AAAAAAAAAAGH! This is the worst letter ever. How old is this girl?:
Dear Pony Pals,
It's me. Eve Greeley. [great way to not use a comma or colon] I adopted the baby pony from you. I named him Lucky. You said that was okay. [GET TO THE POINT!]
Lucky is so cute. He is full of energy. All he wants to do is play and kick and run around. He loves treats.
Do you remember Freckles? [Yes, I could never forget that name.] She doesn't want to play with Lucky anymore. [HA!] But Lucky plays with me.
My dad and mom say Lucky is too hard to handle. But I love him. [AAAAAAAGH!] I want to train him, then I can ride him some day. [What? There should definitely be a so in there.]
Can you help me train Lucky? Please? My dad says it is okay. Our telephone number is 354-90000. [That telephone number does not exist. There should only be 3 zeroes. Get your facts straight, Jeanne.] Please help Lucky and me. [LUCKY AND I! LUCKY AND I!]
Your friend,
Eve
P.S. Lucky will be one year old next week.

Way to repeat yourself.

WHY ARE THEY SUDDENLY ON VACATION!!?? Wait a minute! It's been a year since they took care of Lucky. ALL OF THEM ARE STILL TEN YEARS OLD!!! How many summers have passed since then?? THEY'RE FROZEN IN TIME!

Heh. I remember the first time the ponies met Lucky. Acorn and Lightning tried to kill him.

Omg, Jeanne totally worships Lulu in this one. She's all talking about Lulu is soooo saaaaad not to have a mother, so that makes her love baby animals with no mothers. *sob sob sob* Not. :P

I'm really trying to figure out how Snow White could've gotten trapped in that barbed wire.

Continuity error. Anna got Acorn when she was 9, not 10.

Pam spells "cozy" wrong, and Anna puts too much food in Lucky's feed bin. Didn't she freak out when a 6 year old overfed Acorn?

OMG!!! THE GREELEYS GET IN AN ACCIDENT! THE VIOLENCE! THE VIOLENCE!!

But no one is seriously hurt. Lucky has a cut on his leg.

Whatever. This illustrator can't draw black people. Pam looks like a boy with a huge mouth.

Yeah, let the Pony Pals go find Lucky. Smart.

They care more about the station wagon than they do the Greeleys.

LOL, the Pony Pals are friends with a police officer. They haven't been doing time, have they?

Okay, I thought Lucky wasn't badly hurt, but they find enough blood on the ground to fill a horror movie.

OMG, Pam is such a pessimist!! She keeps thinking Lucky will bleed to death!

Bla bla bla, another examples of how ponies are AAAALWAYS right.

BAY AND BROWN ARE NOT THE SAME THING!!!

Aaagh. The guy's mad because the pony's trampling his corn. Give him a break.

LOL!
"'I'll give you five minutes,' the man said. The corners of his mouth turned up in an evil grin. 'And since it's your pony, you're responsible for the damage to my corn crop.'" OMG THAT'S SO CONNIVING AND HILARIOUS! The Pony Pals never have to pay, tho. :P

Pam starts singing "All the Pretty Horses" to lure Lucky towards her. Wth? Is she trying to seduce him?

Yeah, that's right. It's not just a shallow cut on the leg, Dr. Crandal.

The farmer calls her an idiot and questions her methods. LOL it's cracking me up.

Ooookay, this is so not how I pictured Mr. Farmer. He looks like one of the people that heads the Star Wars conventions.

He's right, you know. Isn't this rescue mission making Lucky more spoiled?

Okay, I REALLY hate how the Pony Pals are all calling Lucky spoiled and badly behaved, but Acorn does a lot of these things and it's "cute". Lightning bites people, and she's "sick". Snow White gets sick all the time. Whatever. That's so a cry for attention. I just wish their ponies threw the occasional shoe or seemed at least a little normal.

Eve looks like a Cabbage Patch doll.

IT'S NOT A DEEP CUT???? Then where did all that blood come from????

"That pony should have been named Trouble instead of Lucky." Right. Ha ha. Rolling around on the floor here.

Go Freckles. Knock some sense into that boy.

EWWWW, how creepy does this sound??
"But even if I had time, I'm not that interested in ponies. I prefer little girls. And cats. I like cats."
OMG!!!!! Lock all your doors and windows, children. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR!

Eve totally makes it sound like she's in an abusive relationship rather than having pony trouble.

Lame. They won't let Eve in their club. Wasn't she like 9 in SS1? That's not that much younger. And yet they group her with Mimi and Rosalie. :P

SERIOUSLY, read this. If you didn't know it was about a pony, you would think this was off of Dr. Phil or something.
Anna: What else does he do that he shouldn't?
Eve: He pushes me. Once he stepped on my foot. It hurt.
Anna: If he pushes you, Eve, elbow him. You have to be firm with him.
Lulu: What else does he do that you don't like?
Eve: Sometimes he scares me. I think he's going to kick me. I'm even afraid to brush him.

Lucky's being spoiled isn't all your fault, Eve. It's actually the PONY PALS fault. I love how their not taking responsibility at all.

LAME, Lulu looks like a supermodel in every picture.

AAAAAAAAAAAAGH THEY'RE HAVING SPAGHETTI!!! AGAIN!!

Weren't Jack and Jill 6 a while back? Did they go back in time?

Lame. They watch "Black Beauty" and Eve cries. Way to go.

Eve cries herself to sleep.

Just because Eve loves Lucky doesn't mean she should get to keep him. I loved Howard (the only other dog I've ever had, and I had him for a grand total of three days), but he bit Nathan's face off. Man up, Eve.

NOT EVERYONE LIKES PONIES! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL!

Since when is Lightning Supermom? Didn't she attack Lucky the first time she met him? And wasn't Snow White the one who was all matronly? What's with the Lightning/Lucky BFF thing going on?

Susan Royer Rigby (new illustrator) can draw horses and ponies pretty well...but I miss Vivien Kubbos. She was da bomb, even if she did mix up Lulu and Anna.

Wait, Lucky is a year old? The pictures make him look like a newborn.

LOL, they decide to let Lightning teach Lucky to behave. It totally reminded me of the song "Smack" by Ugly Duckling. SMACK! You needed that, I'LL TEACH YOU HOW TO ACT. LOL cracks me up.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH the worst Anna drawing yet!!! The people in it look like SMURFS!!

Wouldn't throwing a birthday party for Lucky make him MORE spoiled?

WHAT? Pam says Eve won't be able to ride Lucky for years. Um, don't people start riding their horses at age 2?

Lucky attacks Lightning. He's so brave.

Aaargh. Eve is a great rider. I want someone to ride badly and see what happens. Wait. Rema was a bad rider and a snob. I guess the moral of this story is if you can't ride, you're an awful person. I guess this means I would not fit in in Wiggins.

Pam is the biggest pessimist EVER.

If the horse is biting and kicking your mother, HE IS NOT MAKING PROGRESS!!

Ew, an awful drawing of Pam with a really huge face.

Retarded. Lulu is being all sneaky about a present. We never actually find out what it is.

This part is so sad! I felt for Eve. Me and feel probably don't go in the same sentence, but for realz...
Dear Pony Pals,
I have a present for you. It is Lucky. [Okay, this might be sad, but COLONS!!!] I can't take care of him. You will love him and train him. He'll play with your ponies. Please let Lucky be a Pony Pal. [Since you won't let Eve be one. :P]
Your friend,
Eve
Awwwww. This is the first time in Pony Pals history that any character has shown even an ounce of maturity!

And then we see Eve's pitiful drawings of ponies. They're pretty bad and they ruin the mood.

Aaargh. They decide to board Lucky for free. WHAT'S WITH ALL THIS "FOR FREE" STUFF?

They say "yummy".

I've never seen silver sprinkles.

I THOUGHT PONY PAL TRAIL WAS A SECRET!

Lol. They make "Lucky's #1!" jokes.

Retarded. Mr. and Mrs. Greeley go for it.

Aaargh. I just wanted the parents to get rid of Lucky and have the characters actually GROW for a change. But no. No no no no.
OMG!!! I found my ancient (like, 6th grade) end to the Pony Pals. It was written like 10 years after the whole series. Lulu marries Mark, Pam marries some dude, Anna marries Charlie, and Tommy and Mike get trampled in a Winnie the Pooh parade. That was the only part I liked. It was pretty badly written. Anna was all abusive, Pam was in love with herself, and Lulu kept saying, "Omigosh! Acorn! Omigosh!" Aaagh. I love the part about the parade, though. Made my day.

Because you had a bad day, or Pony Pals #18: The Saddest Pony

This is another book that makes me feel very, very bad for Pam. The Pony Pals are ganging up on her again and again Pam has to apologize for HER bad behavior. I wish she could escape these people. But if you ask me who's my favorite Pony Pal, I'm not sure if I have one. I'd have to say that I can probably tolerate Pam the longest, followed by (surprise!) Anna, then Lulu on the very bottom. I think #16 ruined her character for me. I hope you'll shake your head with me as we read this sad, sad tale.



Plot: Pam is out riding Lightning when she finds a pony in a seemingly abandoned barn. The pony looks very sick and the barn is in terrible condition. Pam tells the Pony Pals and they go back to visit the pony, but are caught by its owners.
Lulu and Anna want to call the police and accuse the owners of animal abuse, but Pam doesn't actually believe the owners are guilty of animal abuse. Lulu and Anna thinks this is stupid and emotionally abuse her for several pages.
Finally, the Pony Pals find out that the old people that own Ginger (the old, sick pony) are really nice and they're just poor, so they don't take of Ginger. But Lulu and Anna don't admit they were wrong and require an apology from Pam. Grrr....
The Pony Pals visit the Quinns (the old people) and offer to take care of Ginger and give them food. They also give the Quinns a cat to replace their old one and have Dr. Crandal give all the animals antibiotics. And everyone is happy.

More notes:
Jeanne Betancourt has learned personification. Actually, she learned that a long time ago, but her usage of it in this book are better.

Another example of people not controlling their ponies.

Anna: Pam, we packed the best lucnh. Ham and cheese sandwiches and, of course, brownies.
You would think they would get tired of brownies. And ham and cheese sandwiches aren't that great. At least not together.

Yeah. Eating lunch in a ghost town. Fun.

I see we have a new illustrator.... The girls actually look their age, but I hate her style. The author's, that is.


Say what? The Crandals own three ponies (Lightning, Splash, Daisy) and board several horses. Who are those several? Is Paint one of them?

Isn't it wrong to spy on people? They should at least use a different word than "spy".

"Ginger. Ginger. You are a bad old girl." That makes me laugh. No idea why.

Why is she inspecting Ginger's hoof? She only inspects one hoof. I would understand it if she did all four, but only one? Don't see the point of this.

Anna's drawings have gotten even worse because of the new illustrator. I miss Paul Bachem.

OMG, ANNA SAID "POOP"! HALLELUJAH!!

Do the police actually handle animal abuse charges? I didn't think they did. Maybe I'm wrong.

They need more evidence, Pam says. She just disagreed with the Pony Pals. Bring on the manipulation and emotional abuse.

"It's two against one. You have to do what Lulu and I want." Shut up, Anna.

What a mature response: "I know more about ponies than you do. You have to do what I want."

Pam says, "Let's go," and Anna thinks she's being bossy. Shut up, whore.

Anna's just being a brat. HATE HATE HATE. She and Lulu are pretty even on the annoyance scale now.

Gee, something couldn't be wrong with Ginger's teeth to make her not want to eat, could there?

Who would want to steal an old sick pony?

Oh, right, Pam, run away. That's pretty much a confession right there.

"They're horrible. That's why they abuse Ginger."
"He was pointing a gun at you. He wanted to shoot you."
1. They're poor and old, not horrible.
2. IT WAS A FREAKING CANE! How do you mistake a cane for a gun????

Lulu: Pam, why don't you want to tell the police about Ginger's owners?
Pam: We dont' know anything about that old couple. THey might need help, too.
This is the closest Anna and Lulu get to apologizing.
Anna: Maybe you're right.
Lulu: We don't even know their names. There's a lot we don't know about them.
That sounded like Lulu was blaming Anna. Now for the unnecessary apology.
Pam: I'm sorry I was so bossy.
Anna: I hate it when you act like that.
YOU LITTLE HYPOCRITE!!!
Pam: I know. I hate it, too.
Anna: We forgive you.
Ho.

Why, Pam?
Richard and Gertrude Quinn. Have lived on farm for seventy years.
Why not just make it a complete sentence??

My grandma's name is Shirley.

They had a black cat. Just like Shadow.

HOLY CRAP! Ginger used to pull a milk cart 30 years ago. How old is she, then???

All of a sudden Lulu is opposed to spying. Gee, you weren't opposed to it when you spied on Kim, much less 20 pages ago.

Duh. They're old. They yell because they can't hear.

The dog's name is Snappy. Heh. That's what Bob said about Oggy. That really makes me want a dog named Snappy.

They Pony Pals are even controlling Pam's breakfast choices?
Lulu: We both want orange juice and French toast. What about you?
Don't follow the crowd, Pam....
Pam: I'll have the same thing.
Aargh.

Oh my goodness. A very horrible drawing that Anna is supposed to have done. It's worse than her previous drawings.

I didn't know social workers helped old people.

Oh no, a moving story about Mrs. Harley's childhood. The Quinns gave her free milk and eggs.

Again, why would they want to steal Ginger, who is really old, has arthritis, and overlong teeth?

Aw, a picture of the Quinns. They're so adorable.

Violet Croft? That's Anna's grandma's name. That's a horrible name.

Wonder if she was related to Lara Croft....

They spell thank you "thankyou". Who edited this book??

Toby is not a cat name. I KNEW THE DEAD CAT WAS THE REASON FOR ALL THE SADNESS!!!

Duh. I told you her teeth were too long.

The Crandals have a palomino thoroughbred named J.B. Such a lie.

Ginger is 35. Daaang.

MR. CONWAY IS BACK! THE CREEPY GUY WHO TOLD GHOST STORIES FROM SUPER SPECIAL #3!

Ew, they wish upon a star.

I want Meals on Wheels. Pasta every night.

I find it weird that they consider Shadow Acorn's cat.

Anna is being way annoying and pessimistic.

Ew, Acorn is being creepy with Shadow.

Ginger isn't sad because she has arthritis and orthodontial problems. She just misses her kitty friend. Right.

So they decide to give away Fat Cat's last kitten. HOW IS HE STILL A KITTEN, at least 20 summers have passed since that incident. Maybe he is frozen in time, too.

Pam is having second thoughts about this. Just give them Fat Cat, no one likes her anyway. Keep Pal for yourself if you like him so much.

Ponies aren't often frightened by the meowing of cats.

Apparently everyone who's ever lived is somehow connected to the Quinns. Even people in real life are somehow connected to two fictional old people in a children's book.

OMG, PAL IS SO ADORABLE!

Heh. Ginger likes pain meds.

That was awful. The more I think about it, I think the Pony Pals are a cult. Because they're exclusive, secretive, and no one questions the leadership.
I need to read the three steps of identifying a cult again. Party on.
I HATE ANNA.

And stay out! or Pony Pals #12: Keep out, Pony!

Yeah, I know I said I'd wait for "Circus Pony" before I posted again, but I'm a pretty impatient person, and that little 7-year-old kid isn't reading fast enough. And I have 12-15 in my possession and no other books to read.... So "Circus Pony" will have to wait. I said that last time, didn't I? I've put a hold on #16 and I'm pretty excited about that one. Lulu gets in a tragic accident. But she doesn't die. Awwww.... And she has to conquer a fear of riding again. Sort of lame, but I'm looking forward to tragic accident. But on to "Keep Out, Pony!"



Plot: Pam is going on a ride with her buddy and partner-in-crime Lightning and her annoying dog Woolie when she comes upon a sheep pen in the middle of Pony Pal Trail! You all remember Pony Pal Trail, right? If you don't (I might have never told you about it), it's the mile-and-a-half trail that connects Pam and Anna's houses. Since Lulu now lives right next to Anna, it becomes EXTRA convenient for all the lil friends to meet and greet and...yeah. BUT THERE ARE SHEEP ON PONY PAL TRAIL! Anna and Lulu come upon the sheep, too, and all of them are very confoozed. Woolie isn't, however. He likes to bark at sheep, because he is a SHEEPDOG. Haha. Not.
GASP! The new owners of the property come to chase the Pony Pals away and tell them to NEVER TRESPASS ON THEIR PROPERTY AGAIN!!!
The Pony Pals are crushed. THEY LOVE PONY PAL TRAIL! But it does not love them back. So they try to think up ideas to get the Stewarts to let them back on the trail.
They write the Stewarts a nice letter.
No dice.
They invite the Stewarts over for a tea party!
The Stewarts accept the invitation...only to not attend due to their pregnant sheep.
It seems the Pony Pals will never get their trail back. But then, after trespassing on the Stewarts' property AGAIN, they find a newborn lamb stuck in the bushes. It got seperated from its mammy! They take care of it and put it back with its mammy, while Woolie watches the flock (awwwww). Mrs. Stewart comes home, finds the girls, and is furious...until she finds out they saved a lamb. This changes her mind about everything, and the Pony Pals get the trail back! Yaaaaaaaaaay!

More notes:
I hate Woolie. So Happy from "7th Heaven". It annoys me.

I want to know exactly what was going through Pam's head at that moment: Zut alors! Sheep!

Snow White scared of sheep. Hate.

Mr. Stewart comes out carrying a big stick. Wth? Violent much?

The stupid Pony Pals riff is back and its bigger than ever before.

"Pam brushed Woolie's golden bangs back with her fingers and looked into his eyes." That does NOT sound like they're referring to a dog.

The origins of the Pony Pal trail, how exciting. It can't be THAT secret. Come on, people LIVE on it.

These girls can eat a mess of brownies.

They only go riding on weekends? Together? Don't horses need more that?

If they live there and are building a sheep pen, I think they own.

"Cynthia Prindle Stewart"? What kind of name is that?

Who is Julie Rosen? Since when has she let the Pony Pals ride on her land? WHO IS THIS WOMAN?

Mr. Crandal is so mean. OMG, DAISY IS BACK! Remember her #6? They never reference other books, besides #1 and #2.

"Come on, Lightning. Do it for Woolie." That sounds wrong.

The girls congratulate each other for sneaking onto the Stewarts' property without being noticed.

Pam writes a letter. Part of it says, "Our ponies are very well-behaved." Um, isn't Acorn always being mischevious and running away from Anna? And doesn't Lightning get moody and bite people?

Heh. Mrs. Stewart sends Pam hatemail.

Pam is so pessimistic.

Wth, they're in 5th grade. What kind of school do they go to? 5th graders and 8th graders are schooled together and they all get LOCKERS? Unfair.

"Do something nice for the Stewarts." LIKE WHAT? LIKE WHAT?

What is it with these Wiggins-y people and free business? "Oh, my dad will build two gates in the sheep pen for FREE!"

Who uses the word "companion" in 5th grade? Actually, Kelvin did sometimes. Heh. Kelvin. I remember that kid.

Doesn't the second bell mean you're late? The Pony Pals are skipping class!!!

I agree, Pam. Throwing a grown-up party for the Stewarts is a bad idea.

They lie and tell Mrs. Stewart about a party that doesn't exist. Oh, wait, it's a TEA PARTY. For GROWN UPS.

Why is Ms. Wiggins in Paris???? Did she get bored with Conecticut and leave?

Apparently Lulu is a tea party expert.

Lol, for a whole page they discuss this and I totally pictured them with British accents.

What a wonderful menu.
Cucumber sandwhiches, a lamb cake (not made out of lambs), brownies, candy, fruit punch, tea.
Sounds like a little kid's birthday party. Minus the gross sandwhiches.

Okay, I'm probably just crazy, but COME ON, EDITORS!
*they see the lamb*
Anna: It's so cute.
Lulu: Look! There's ANOTHER baby lamb.
Anna: There's ANOTHER baby lamb.
Pam: She had twins!
What??? Didn't you just say there were three??? SO CONFUSED.

Dang, three babies? How many babies can sheep pop out?

Queenie is an awful name. And the lamb looks like a dog with a bad haircut.

Ew, picture of Mrs. Stewart. She's way old. I was totally picturing some newlyweds with a sheep fetish.

Again, the Pony Pals don't want to be paid to be sheep sitters. How ELSE are you going to pay for all those brownies you eat?

Anna's father is a carpenter? I thought he was a firefighter.....

Remind me how Lightning assisted in saving Pony Pal Trail. Really, I can't figure this out. She just acted crabby and comforted Pam in her despair. That's not that much of an accomplishment.

So that's that. I really want a lamb cake. I also finished the one about the city girl who hated ponies, so I'll post when I's done wif dis. Aaargh, the next one discussed the Pony Pals' lack of social skills. You'll see for yourselves.

At last! He's leaving!, or Pony Pals #8: Good-bye Pony

This one is so lame. It's about death and denial. I cried my eyes out when I first read this and refused to finish it. Then I played Pony Pals with my Fisher Price people. Don't blame me for the crappiness.



Plot: Ms. Wiggins is teaching Anna and Acorn how to drive a pony cart, because her pony Winston pulls a cart every year for the Winter Festival Parade. She wants Acorn to take over for Winston next year, because Winston is so old. After Anna's horrible lesson, Ms. Wiggins asks the Pony Pals to watch Winston while she goes to an art show where she will be showing her paintings. Ooh, what an artist.
When the Pony Pals go to check on Winston, they find him on the ground. Pam calls her dad and they try to take care of Winston, but Dr. Crandal (I've been spelling it wrong all this time) says he's going to die and there's nothing they can do.
This makes Anna mad. She stays with Winston all night, refuses meals, ignores Acorn, and tries to convince Ms. Wiggins to get another veterinarian because she doesn't believe Winston is going to die.
Then he does. And she was wrong.
So everyone is sad.
YAY, 3 GREAT IDEAS! The Pony Pals decide to have Acorn replace Acorn after all! Only Acorn is being stubborn, and even with Mr. Olson's help, he doesn't learn. Finally, with a little bit of help from HIS pony pals (ew, what a gross sentence) Acorn cooperates, and Ms. Wiggins is happy again. Yeeeeeeee-ha.

More notes:
Acorn looks hecka ugly. I want those pants. Winston is adorable.

Why do they call it the Winter Festival Parade. It's one or the other.

Acorn is huge in the first picture. He's supposed to be short. Like 11.2 hands.

Foreshadowing of the death of Winston. AAAAGH WE GET IT ALREADY!

Anna wants to have a Pony Party. Not loser.

Anna wants to keep Acorn forever. Not seeing this happening.

This is Lulu's "first winter". Um, not really. Remember "A Pony For Keeps"? Wasn't THAT your first winter?? AND HOW ARE YOU STILL IN 5TH GRADE? Did you all get held back? I thought Pam was smart.

Pam is either in a bad mood or she has a mustache.

AAAARGH! MRS. HARLEY'S BROWNIES ARE NOT FAMOUS!!!!

How come whenever a pony is sick or injured the Pony Pals assume it is colic? "He hasn't eaten in 5 days and is looking gaunt." "*gasp* COULD IT BE COLIC?" "...."

Dr. Crandal: There's not much I can do for him.
Anna: WHY AREN'T YOU GIVING HIM MEDICINE AND MAKING HIM BETTER?
Okay, Anna, I know you're slow....

"We Pony Pals have solved a lot of tough problems." Name one.

The Pony Pals seem to really like spaghetti.

Anna is convinced that everyone else is a quitter and that she's a saint.

Anna yells at the Pony Pals for letting Winston lie down. LISTEN TO ME: HE'S GOING TO DIE!!!

Mr. Silver: I dug a hole in the ground before it froze. Just in case.
OMG, THAT IS SO MORBID!!!

Anna thinks Dr. Crandal is the problem. Maybe YOU'RE the problem, Anna. That would solve all the Pony Pal's problems. Actually, not. Lulu needs to go, too.

Anna is mad at Ms. Wiggins for not being there. She misses Winston's death by 5 minutes and Anna thinks she did it on purpose. I hate this kid.

Acorn looks very cute and vaguely Arab. Winston has this huge Roman nose.

Acorn: *pushes Winston to the ground*
Anna: BAD PONY!
Lulu: Maybe he was just telling Winston it's okay to die.
Oh right. I actually agree with Anna on this one.

SHE FINALLY GETS IT.

Pam: I think it's almost the end....
That's like a bad Dickens novel sentence.

Awww, they cut off part of Winston's mane and braid it. That's so sweet. Not even playing.

I love blueberry pancakes.

Ew, a "Miracle Pets" story about how Wiggins saved her life. SOOO lame.

Selfish Anna. She spent all her money on stuff for Acorn when she could've donated it to the St. Francis Animal Shelter in Winston's memory!

ANOTHER GOOD DRAWING FROM ANNA! This is a crazy trend.

Mmm, apple juice and donuts.

Acorn so huge. Anna so short. Pam so pretty. Lulu so annoying.

IT'S MR. OLSON CREEP PANTS! He's lost a lot more hair since book #2.

Mmmm, hot chocolate and cheese sandwhiches.

I think Mrs. Harley and Ms. Wiggins are...you know....

I honestly think Anna thinks Pam is stupid.

Lulu so ugly. Pam so boy. Mr. Olson so Grampa.

And Anna's good drawing streak comes to a halt with the shoebox for Winston.

Ew, Boy Scouts are so evil.

Anna's sister's name used to be Tammy. Now it's Melissa.

You don't have to repeat yourself to make a point. "YOU DID IT, ACORN! YOU DID IT!"

Aaargh. That was painful. I know I've been posting a lot, but I'll slow down, because I only have 1 left and I have to wait for "The Baby Pony" to come in. Yay, the first super special! I'll have fun with that.

Free at last, free at last, or Pony Pals #7: Runaway Pony

Yeah, so the title is pretty self-explanatory. We have a pony. It runs away. And if you've been observing the Pony Pal pattern long enough (Lulu, Anna, Pam), you will know that it is Snow White that has run away. Yeah. So lame.



Plot: Snow White has strangles! I looked that up on wikipedia and that's like equine strep throat. Anyways, she's really contagious, so Lulu hasn't been able to go riding and Snow White has been staying at the Baxter's. :( One day, as Snow White is almost better, Lulu leaves Snow White by herself so she can go to a movie with the Pony Pals.
The next day it snows. And Snow White is gone.
Lulu is beside herself. She's convinced that it's her fault, like maybe she left the stall door open, or whatever, and she moans about it for a long time.
The Pony Pals call the state police, make wanted posters, and then Lulu goes out looking for her.
She finds her pretty quickly. Unfortunately, Snow White is an 8 foot deep hole in the ground. The walls are covered in ice and she can't get out. Lulu calls for help, and the Pony Pals come and help Lulu get Snow White out. Lulu now feels worse than ever, and thinks Snow White's strangles might be worse, so she leaves her at the Crandalls' house and writes them a letter, bequeathing her pony to them.
To get her mind off the ordeal, Lulu goes to dinner with her grandma, but the Pony Pals come in and convince her to take Snow White back because it turns out Snow White broke the lock in the paddock, so it wasn't her fault after all. Joy and tidings.

More notes:
Snow White looks very nice on the cover. She looks a lot younger and non-ponyish.

Lulu really wants to see this movie. I tried to imagine what movie it could be, but couldn't think of anything and just pretended it was "Hairspray" the whole time.

Why are Lulu and Anna suddenly okay with Pam's job? Well, the last one took place in summer and this one takes place in winter. AND THEY'RE STILL IN 5TH GRADE.

Pam is still way pretty. Anna looks more masculine than before.

Grandmother Sanders thinks looking proper is more important than outdoor sports. Well, duh. I'd rather look good than be athletic. Although those two sometimes go hand in hand. Let's say outdoorsy instead.

"Maybe we can't find Snow White because she's white and so is the snow." Yeah, a 2000 pound animal is that hard to miss.

Anna shrunk AGAIN!

They have a missing pony, so they call the state police. Right. I think the state police has more trying matters than a missing pony.

"Well, we have a dead dog and three dead deer, but no pony. We'll call if you anything comes up." Thanks, Officer.

Lulu: Maybe someone found her and wants to keep her.
Anna: That would be better than being lost or hurt.
Nice, Anna.

Another awful picture of a crying pony. And Lulu won't stop moaning about everything. "Ooooh, it's my fault." I bet she's just saying that so the others will contradict her and she'll feel better. Like the people who continually say, "I'm so fat!" Actually, I'm guilty of that. Sometimes.

Anna says they put up posters when her sister's cat was lost. But in book #17, Mrs. Harley is allergic to cats.

Lulu mistakes coyote tracks for horse tracks.

Ew, they describe Snow White's hair as coarse and oily. Like a teenager's.

Lulu is fine if she dies of dehydration as long as her pony is okay. Hm. Nice.

Lulu mistakes a bush covered in snow for a dead pony. COME ON.

Lulu falls into a hole. I take back my vote for her.

Lulu needs to stop being such a pessimist. "Oh, we're gonna die!" Oh, how I wish you would.

It seems Mrs. Crandall and the twins are always at the mall.

It's a cellphone, Lulu. Duh.

Lulu: Grab her! Before she falls back in!
Pam: I can't. She doesn't have a halter.
There are other ways to grab horses.

Lulu = so emo.

And she runs out of the room crying. Aaaargh.

Aaaargh, Lulu is antisocial. And she has a dead mom flashback. Double aaargh.

It's 9:00 A.M. Anna has been up for 4 hours. Holy crap, what is your problem? ANNA'S BEEN IN THE CRACK CORN!

What kind of outfit is this? "Grandmother smiled. 'Lucinda, dear,' she said, 'wear that lovely velvet skirt and the sweater with the lace collar that I bought you. You look so lovely in that outfit.'" Sounds like a concert violinist's outfit mixed with a nun's habit.

Who does that? When you don't want someone to leave, you don't grab their skirt!

Surprisingly (not), it rips.

What's up with the good illustrations? Is Anna actually improving?

Aaargh. Lulu is an idiot pants. "The lock broke." "YOU'RE MAKING THAT UP. *emos*"

This is Lulu's idea: 3 heads are better than 1. Right. That's a great idea. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

People ride in skirts all the time. Sidesaddle.

I REALLY hated that one, even more so than #8, which I will start on right now. Aaargh, it's about death and Anna being a lamepants. You will not enjoy it.