Pam stared at the window in shock. It couldn't be Lulu! But it was. Though this new Lulu had short hair, cute (almost girly) clothes, and what looked to be a nose ring, it was definitely the girl Pam had been best friends with 6 years ago. She turned to look at Anna and realized Anna was no longer beside her. Another quick glance out the window revealed Anna running towards Lulu, interrupting the sentimental moment between the girl and her old pony. She arrived outside just in time to hear Anna, with her arms around Lulu, scream, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Hey, there, Annie!" Lulu said, obviously uncomfortable. Anna drew away in horror.
"M-m-my name's Anna!" She stammered incredulously. Pam came up behind her and Lulu seemed relieved to find someone she remembered.
"Pam! Hi!" She edged away from an emotionally distraught Anna and approached Pam, smiling. "I was just getting reacquainted with my old horse." Pam stiffened.
"Snow White is a pony, Lulu." Lulu paused for a split second, then snorted as if Pam had said something ridiculous.
"Duh. What did you think I said?" She shook her head and winked at Anna. Anna, almost crying, sniffed back at her. Pam noticed Lulu's appearance for the first time. Six years ago, Lulu would've been described as "tomboyish", but the outfit sure wore now was far from that. A cute shirt-ish thing (was that called a "blouse"? Pam didn't know.), a lacy peasant skirt, and sparkly flats gave off a rather girly vibe. Pam wrinkled her nose. How did Lulu expect to go riding with an outfit like that? Anna was wondering the same thing.
"You can't ride in a skirt!" She shouted, pointing at the offending garment. Lulu stared at her, obviously confused. Then she threw back her head and laughed hysterically.
"I'm not going RIDING!" She hiccuped. Anna gasped. Pam raised an eyebrow.
"But...we're the Pony Pals." Didn't that mean anything anymore? Lulu stopped laughing. She looked annoyed.
"Um, yeah, we WERE the Pony Pals. Six YEARS ago!" As if to emphasize this statement, she shoved Snow White, who was nibbling at her adorable shoulder length bob, away from her. Anna gasped again.
"Don't touch my pony!" She ran to Snow White's aid, offering the pony comfort in this time of distress. But it was Anna who needed comfort; Snow White hadn't seemed to mind one bit. Lulu sighed and continued.
"Look, ponies were cool when we were, what, ten? Then you got a horse, Pam, and I moved to Africa. I've spent the last six years traveling, and I've learned A LOT."
"Like what?" Pam asked with a sneer.
"I learned where babies come from." Lulu answered triumphantly. Anna and Pam were taken aback.
"You're not supposed to know that! It's only for married couples!" Anna hissed violently. Lulu cackled.
"Please. Married couples aren't the only ones who do it. Take Tommy and Rema for instance." Pam felt as though she'd punched in the stomach. She hadn't noticed anything between them! Lulu was just getting started.
"Yeah, seriously, they've been at it since junior high! And I learned that only homeschooled weirdos ride ponies anymore!"
"That's not true! We're not homeschooled!" Anna's passionate statement didn't exactly un-prove Lulu's point.
"Yeah, well, I also learned that you get more guys when you actually start DRESSING like a GIRL!" She let those words sink in.
"We dress like girls..." Anna mumbled, looking at the ground.
"All the time," Pam forced out, coughing guiltily. She hoped Lulu couldn't read minds, and wouldn't see as Pam mentally went through her wardrobe and found nothing but boy's buttondowns, baggy turtlenecks, and jeans. Lulu sighed.
"I was kidding. Sort of. At least you guys shower everyday. I knew a bunch of girls who didn't..." Pam and Anna exchanged guilty looks. "What? Seriously?" She laughed nervously. "You're kidding, right?" There was a long pause. Lulu sighed again.
"I'm sorry, you guys. It's just...weird being home after so long."
"You've changed," Pam said accusingly, still hurt by her friend's remarks.
"I know. I said I was sorry." Anna eyes filled with tears.
"We forgive you!" She gave Lulu a huge hug. Lulu looked uncomfortable. Anna's eyes lit up with sudden inspiration. "I know! Let's go to the diner and talk there! Then we can catch up properly!"
"But I can't ride," Lulu protested. "There aren't enough ponies."
"Just change into jeans," Anna said brightly. Lulu hesitated.
"Or we could walk." Pam suggested sourly, her lip curled in disgust. "It's just down the street."
"Great!" Anna beamed and grabbed Lulu's hand, practically dragging her out of the paddock. Pam watched them go. She wasn't hungry, and, judging from the size of Anna's protein shake at breakfast, Anna wasn't either. Yet her best friend seemed determined to integrate Lulu back into their lives. But this wasn't the Lulu they'd been friends with years ago, and, frankly, Pam wanted nothing to do with her. If only she could convince Anna of the same thing.
Showing posts with label Pam. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pam. Show all posts
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
Lulu's Return: Part #1
Anna Harley opened her eyes at 5:00 AM, just like she did every morning. Pam Crandal snorted beside her.
"Wake up, Pam." Anna practically shouted in her ear. Pam groaned into her pillow. The two had grown out of barn sleepovers long ago and now preferred to sleep in Anna's bed. Pam was still having a hard time getting up.
"Pam!!" Anna squealed in an irritating fashion. Pam resolutely pulled the covers over her ears, so Anna gave up and went outside to feed the ponies.
Both Starfire and Snow White were already awake. Anna went to grab some hay, but paused near Acorn's empty stall. She sighed. After Lulu left, the inhabitants of Wiggins followed suit. Fat Cat "ran away", or so Dr. Crandal said, as to soften the blow for Jack and Jill. Shadow was hit by a car. Mr. and Mrs. Quinn were taken to the nursing home, and, without them knowing it, their pony Ginger was sold to the slaughterhouse. Even her beloved pony Acorn didn't stand a chance. Though both Rosalie and Anna had begged them not to, Mr. and Mrs. Harley sold Acorn to Mr. Olson during the recession. "You're both getting too big for him," they reasoned. Even so, Anna rarely spoke to her parents. She shook her head, refusing to think about it.
When she went back inside, Pam was in the kitchen, cooking breakfast. "Blueberry pancakes," she grunted, shuffling around the kitchen like an old woman. Anna stifled a groan. Back in the golden days, when she, Pam, and Lulu had been called "The Pony Pals", she'd eaten brownies, spaghetti, and blueberry pancakes by the truckload. But puberty hadn't been especially nice to her and there was a bit of extra pudge around her middle from all the scrumptious carbs.
"Uh...I think I'll pass...." She made herself a protein shake and forced herself to drink it. Mmmm, so healthy. She wouldn't have to eat again until dinnertime!
"Are you excited for school?" Pam asked pleasantly, suddenly cheerful. It was hard to get even-keeled Pam excited about anything, but homework and extra credit gave her a thrill like nothing else. She was especially excited because they'd be starting their senior year in 3 days time.
Anna, on the other hand, still hated school. It wasn't just the condescending teachers or the dyslexia, but hormones and teenage girls made school almost impossible to deal with. Pam just didn't understand; she'd never had acne, and her periods lasted a grand total of 2 days. Sometimes Anna wondered how heavy her friend's flow was. But only sometimes.
"Anna!" Pam hissed all of a sudden. Anna snapped out of her perverted reverie.
"What?"
"Someone's in the paddock!" Anna ran to the window, and saw a strange girl with Snow White. Strange... She couldn't recall letting the either animal out of their stall....
"She's trying to steal the ponies!" It was a fear she'd often had when she was a kid. But the ponies didn't seem to be frightened. Snow White seemed downright cheerful. And the girl, though strange, was starting to look a little familiar...
"PAM!!!" Anna screamed.
"What?"
"You're not going to believe this."
"What?"
"It's...it's...it's..."
"ENOUGH WITH THE SUSPENSE! TELL ME WHO IT IS OR I'LL DESTROY YOU!" Complete silence followed Pam's loud outburst. Anna wondered if the time of the month she'd been pondering just moments ago had come around again. She then remembered the important thing she had to tell Pam.
"That's Lulu outside with the ponies! She's back!"
"Wake up, Pam." Anna practically shouted in her ear. Pam groaned into her pillow. The two had grown out of barn sleepovers long ago and now preferred to sleep in Anna's bed. Pam was still having a hard time getting up.
"Pam!!" Anna squealed in an irritating fashion. Pam resolutely pulled the covers over her ears, so Anna gave up and went outside to feed the ponies.
Both Starfire and Snow White were already awake. Anna went to grab some hay, but paused near Acorn's empty stall. She sighed. After Lulu left, the inhabitants of Wiggins followed suit. Fat Cat "ran away", or so Dr. Crandal said, as to soften the blow for Jack and Jill. Shadow was hit by a car. Mr. and Mrs. Quinn were taken to the nursing home, and, without them knowing it, their pony Ginger was sold to the slaughterhouse. Even her beloved pony Acorn didn't stand a chance. Though both Rosalie and Anna had begged them not to, Mr. and Mrs. Harley sold Acorn to Mr. Olson during the recession. "You're both getting too big for him," they reasoned. Even so, Anna rarely spoke to her parents. She shook her head, refusing to think about it.
When she went back inside, Pam was in the kitchen, cooking breakfast. "Blueberry pancakes," she grunted, shuffling around the kitchen like an old woman. Anna stifled a groan. Back in the golden days, when she, Pam, and Lulu had been called "The Pony Pals", she'd eaten brownies, spaghetti, and blueberry pancakes by the truckload. But puberty hadn't been especially nice to her and there was a bit of extra pudge around her middle from all the scrumptious carbs.
"Uh...I think I'll pass...." She made herself a protein shake and forced herself to drink it. Mmmm, so healthy. She wouldn't have to eat again until dinnertime!
"Are you excited for school?" Pam asked pleasantly, suddenly cheerful. It was hard to get even-keeled Pam excited about anything, but homework and extra credit gave her a thrill like nothing else. She was especially excited because they'd be starting their senior year in 3 days time.
Anna, on the other hand, still hated school. It wasn't just the condescending teachers or the dyslexia, but hormones and teenage girls made school almost impossible to deal with. Pam just didn't understand; she'd never had acne, and her periods lasted a grand total of 2 days. Sometimes Anna wondered how heavy her friend's flow was. But only sometimes.
"Anna!" Pam hissed all of a sudden. Anna snapped out of her perverted reverie.
"What?"
"Someone's in the paddock!" Anna ran to the window, and saw a strange girl with Snow White. Strange... She couldn't recall letting the either animal out of their stall....
"She's trying to steal the ponies!" It was a fear she'd often had when she was a kid. But the ponies didn't seem to be frightened. Snow White seemed downright cheerful. And the girl, though strange, was starting to look a little familiar...
"PAM!!!" Anna screamed.
"What?"
"You're not going to believe this."
"What?"
"It's...it's...it's..."
"ENOUGH WITH THE SUSPENSE! TELL ME WHO IT IS OR I'LL DESTROY YOU!" Complete silence followed Pam's loud outburst. Anna wondered if the time of the month she'd been pondering just moments ago had come around again. She then remembered the important thing she had to tell Pam.
"That's Lulu outside with the ponies! She's back!"
6 years later....
The Pony Pals have grown too big for ponies...
They are now known as THE HORSE COMPANIONS!
Horse Companions #1: Lulu's Return
After 6 years apart, the Pony Pals (ahem, Horse Companions) are finally reunited for their senior year of high school when Lulu comes back to Wiggins. But things are different between them now. Lulu doesn't like to ride anymore! Anna's happy with Charlie, but now that Lulu's back in town, she can't seem to choose between them! Pam was happy when Lulu left, but now that she's back, in seems everyone is back under her spell. Will the three ever be friends again?
Coming soon, summer 2009!
They are now known as THE HORSE COMPANIONS!
Horse Companions #1: Lulu's Return
After 6 years apart, the Pony Pals (ahem, Horse Companions) are finally reunited for their senior year of high school when Lulu comes back to Wiggins. But things are different between them now. Lulu doesn't like to ride anymore! Anna's happy with Charlie, but now that Lulu's back in town, she can't seem to choose between them! Pam was happy when Lulu left, but now that she's back, in seems everyone is back under her spell. Will the three ever be friends again?
Coming soon, summer 2009!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Months of toil now at an end, or Pony Pals Super Special #6: The Last Pony Ride
This is it, guys. The very last Pony Pals book.
Plot: Major changes are going on in Wiggins. Lulu's father wants to her to move to Africa with him! Pam and Anna are getting too big for their ponies!!! What is going on???
First, let's deal with Pam: Pam finds it's getting a tad uncomfortable to ride Lightning. At the same time, Eleanor Whats-her-face has given Pam her horse Starfire after a tragic riding accident, forcing him (not her; she got a new horse) to retire early. Pam is torn between the pony she loves and the horse she longs to care for.
Her mom is totally NOT helping, by hinting that Lightning is a boring old nag that should be sold for glue.
In the end, Pam chooses to keep Starfire and let her mom use Lightning as a school pony, but still take care of her old pony every day.
Good choice.
Now Lulu: Her dad suddenly wants her to move to Africa with him, because he doesn't want to miss her childhood.
Hello???
Then why did you dump her in Wiggins with her grandmother in the FIRST PLACE???
Lulu begs her father to let her stay in Wiggins, with her FRIENDS, and GRANDMA, and PONY, but her dad insists she move to a country (Botwswana) with civil wars so she can make new friends. Because introverts are soooooo good at that.
Lulu has been defeated by her SUCKY FATHER!!! She decides to give Snow White to Anna, because Snow White is the perfect size for her 4'10" friend.
Anna: Basically what was just said about Lulu. She doesn't want her friends to move and change and go through puberty and that, and she doesn't want to give up Acorn. So she asks her parents if she can have TWO ponies (Snow White and Acorn), and Mike Lacey agrees to help her with barn chores so she doesn't get behind in school.
So Anna has two ponies, Lulu has no pony, and Pam has a horse AND a pony.
Not fair.
So Lulu moves to Africa, taking with her a scrapbook of all the Pony Pal's adventures. AWwww.
More notes:
Can I just say I REALLY liked this book? It was sweet.
Except for all the really bad parents.
Isn't Botswana one of the wartorn countries??
Ooh, Lulu got to ride an elephant!! How exotic!
Whatever. I could still ride ponies like Acorn in like 6th grade at 5'4". Anna is 6 inches shorter than that. She needs to suck it up. Just lengthen your stirrups, honey.
Eleanor is such a fake. "Oooh, I miss Starfire! He'll never be able to compete again!"
So she dumps him on a ten-year-old and buys a NEW horse to compete with.
Pam is 5'4", too, and she's too big for Lightning???? Lightning is 14 hands. She should be the perfect height!!
Pam's mom is so annoying. I really, REALLY despise her.
Ugh.
Eleanor: I thought Starfire and I wouldbe a team forever. Now I'm training another horse. I'll walk him around a little. Then I have to go back and ride my new horse. You'll always be my star! *sob*
-_-
Mr. Crandal shaved!!!!!!! He looks Samoan.
Starfire is so named because he has a white STAR marking on his forehead, but that marking is not evident in the illustration.
Ooh, Dr. Crandal's in on it, too.
If your daughter was happy with a pony, why wouldn't you let her be??
And if Pam isn't too big to ride DAISY and SPLASH and train numerous other ponies, she really shouldn't be too big for Lightning!
Mike: Is this something for Lulu?
Anna: Yeah. It's going to say 'Welcome home.' Pam was supposed to write it, but she's not here yet. And Lulu will be here any minute.
Mike: I'll write it for you. I print good.
Yeah, but you don't speak so well.
The writing in this book is definitely more improved than previous books, but Ms. Betancourt still has a tendency to repeat phrases.
Okay, Mr. Sanders wants Lulu to have some permanence in her life, so he's ripping her out of her comfortable life in Wiggins to live with him in Botswana...FOR TWO YEARS. THEN where are they going to move, I wonder?
Oh, it's going to be so great, Lulu! People speak English there, and you can go to school, and your dad bought an apartment for the two of you!
Oh, and you can't bring Snow White.
Pam: Did you tell your dad you didn't want to move to Africa?
Lulu: It seemed like an okay idea when I was there.
Anna: What does your grandmother always want us to do?
Lulu: Be girlie girls.
I'm glad she has such high expectations.
They let Grandma Sandy give them makeovers, then beg her to tell her irresponsible son to let his daughter stay where she pleases.
Grandma: Makeovers! What a lovely idea. I have a great idea for Anna's hair. A shade of pink nail polish would be perfect for girls your age. And there's a new aqua one with sparkles.
Lulu: I bet Pam would like that one.
Hehehe.
SHE STRAIGHTENS ANNA'S HAIR!!
I think Pam is over Lightning. She forgets what gender her pony is.
This sounds like something from a horror movie.
"Lulu's grandmother turned her attention to Lulu. 'Now I am going to give you curls,' she announced cheerfully."
Whoa, pink and silver beads totally don't go with sparkly aqua nail polish.
Moral of this story: Tomboys are better.
Charlie's back in town!! What, he's 12??? I thought he was 14. He's best friends with Mike and Tommy, isn't he??? WHY WOULD THEY HANG OUT WITH A 12-YEAR-OLD??
Uh oh. They go out to dinner at the diner, looking like girls...and see Tommy, Charlie, and Mike.
Recipe for disaster.
Tommy: Look at the Pony Pests. They're trying to be girls.
Jerk. He's probably a homophobe.
Which is weird, cuz he's gay with Mike.
Is it possible to be a gay homophobe?
I guess that's called hypocrisy.
Meow, Lulu looks like Evangeline Lilly.
Grandma: Riding helmets will crush your new hairdos.
Forsake your riding safety, Lulu! I don't care if you die in a riding accident as long as your corpse looks good!
Then she says: Don't worry about it, dear. It's you I love. Not what your hair looks like.
Which is, like, the opposite of what you've been telling her all these years.
Surprise! Starfire is Pam's now.
And her mom still sucks.
Mrs. Crandal totally drops that bomb on her, and then when Pam reacts, is all, "Sorry, I'm busy, we'll discuss this later."
Haaaate.
Anna's in denial. She doesn't realize she's too huge for Acorn (though in the picture all the girls are the same size and look aptly suited to their ponies).
WHOA!!!
Never tell Anna anything, or she might react like this:
"You're going to have a horse! You're giving up Lightning! If you have Starfire, you won't ride her at all. You're disloyal and you're bad Pony Pals. Both of you!!"
*runs away crying*
The Pony Pals decide to let her cool off on her own for a while.
THEY'RE LEARNING! HALLELUJAH!
Oh. Anna admits she's a little psycho. And sad. And resistant to change.
Awwww.
I HATE LULU'S DAD!!!
He's SO SELFISH! If he wants to be with Lulu so badly, why isn't he putting her best interests into the picture??
It's been about his career all this time, and it's STILL about his career.
He claims he doesn't want to miss anymore of her childhood, that she should remain in one place, and that they belong together.
If that's so, MOVE TO WIGGINS TO BE WITH YOUR KID, YOU SELFISH LOSER!!!
He's SUCH a jerk.
And it sucks cuz Lulu probably knows this, but she does love and her dad and wants to live with him.
This is the part of the book that made me really sad. And incensed. But pretty sad, too.
THE MOMENT OF TRUTH:
Tommy: Good riddance. We have too many Pony Pests around here. We need pest control.
Mike: Stop it! Stop being mean. It's not funny.
Tommy: Good riddance to you, too. You're a bigger pest than they are.
Wow. I guess it's really over. Now Mike and Anna can hook up!!
Unless...uh oh....
Mike: He makes me so mad sometimes. He's a lousy friend.
Charlie: *pats him on the back* You can find better guys than him to hang out with. [Read: ME!]
Mike: *smile* I guess.
Awww, so much for Mike + Anna.
That would be the awesomest fanfic ever. An Anna, Mike, and Charlie love triangle.
Lulu thinks up some pretty smart ideas.
Idea #1: She wants to give Snow White to Anna, because Snow White knows Anna and giving her away is easier than selling her.
Idea #2: They can enter the 21st century (yay!) and use e-mail to communicate.
They agree to e-mail every week.
Every WEEK?? Come on. Use IM and talk every DAY.
What's with the idea that hobbies detract from schoolwork? I disagree. There can be a balance, and Anna does have a legitimate learning disability.
Mrs. Harley isn't the nicest mom either.
Anna: Acorn and Snow White shouldn't be seperated. They're best friends. They're stablemates.
Mrs. Harley: Of course they can be separated. Ponies are bought and sold all the time. You can only have one pony. That's more than most kids have. I'm sorry, Anna. You'll have to decide what pony you want.
Harsh!! I can understand the financial burden another pony would bring, but seriously??? Your kid's grades should have NOTHING to do with the decision, lady. And she has to choose? Way mean.
No way!!!
Rosalie wishes she could ride ponies more often.
Anna can't take care of two ponies.
Mike offers to take care of both ponies, in exchange for more riding time for Rosalie.
That's so nice!!!!
Basically, they make Mike do ALL the barn chores.
Whoa, that wasn't in the agreement. Anna should still help out.
Haha, we find out the Pony Pals' middle names.
Mike's middle name is John. Lame.
Charlie's is K. Huh. Like Harry S. Truman.
Pam's is Eleanor (after the famous chick who tossed her injured horse over Pam's way).
Anna's is Marie.
Lulu doesn't have a middle name. That's why she's no longer in the club and has to move to Africa.
"I heard you're moving to AFrica. It's a wonderful oppurtunity for you."
That's Mr. Harley talking. I suppose that's true, but all the same, how inconsiderate.
This girl has to leave most of her family and friends (AND PONY) to a completely different culture where there are wars and dangerous animals and excessive heat.
Not that I have anything against Africa (quite the opposite), but if I was forced to move there, I'd be cutting myself now.
How convenient. Rosalie is the perfect size for Acorn. So, in essence, Acorn is Rosalie's pony now.
Yay, the Harley's agreed!
They say goodbye to almost everyone in Wiggins, and reference quite a few of the past books. This includes:
Ms. McGee (Historical Society Chick); Mike's grandma (after they found her secret letter in the secret spot in #31); Ms. Raskins (the slacker girl in charge of St. Francis Animal Shelter); Eve Greeley and Lucky (the pony they raised from birth); Mr. and Mrs. Quinn (the old people with the old pony); Mimi Klein and Tongo (the bratty girl with her bratty pony); Mr. Olson (creepy old man/Charlie's uncle); and Mr. Remington (the cool, Harry Potter-obsessed librarian).
They throw a going-away party for Lulu, where they serve all her favorite foods: spaghetti and brownies!!!
Aw. Grandma Sandy buys them matching pony necklaces to help them remember the now defunct Pony Pals.
They have a profile in the back of the book on each character and pony.
Lulu is 5 feet, and likes detective work and spaghetti, but not fussing with her hair.
Anna is 4'10" (!!), and likes brownies and drawing, but not school.
Pam is 5'4" (at 10 years old!!!), and likes jumping and being in charge (that's for sure), but not bossy people (ironically enough).
The Happiest Pony Pal Moment:
When Lulu got Snow White and we knew we would be the Pony Pals.
I can think of happier Pony Pal Moments.
Not off the top of my head, but if I tried really hard....
The Saddest Pony Pal Moment:
When we found out that Lulu was moving.
What about when Winston died?
Well, yeah, I guess friend moving FOREVER trumps pony dying FOREVER.
Not even being sarcastic.
Awww. I miss them already.
Seriously, when did I start this blog?? Remember when it was originally JUST Pony Pals?
Well, now there are no more Pony Pals...
...AND I REALLY MISS THEM.
But I do have plenty of Madison Finns to keep you entertained. That should be fun.
Next stop: Madison Finn Super Special #1. Someone's getting married!!!
Plot: Major changes are going on in Wiggins. Lulu's father wants to her to move to Africa with him! Pam and Anna are getting too big for their ponies!!! What is going on???
First, let's deal with Pam: Pam finds it's getting a tad uncomfortable to ride Lightning. At the same time, Eleanor Whats-her-face has given Pam her horse Starfire after a tragic riding accident, forcing him (not her; she got a new horse) to retire early. Pam is torn between the pony she loves and the horse she longs to care for.
Her mom is totally NOT helping, by hinting that Lightning is a boring old nag that should be sold for glue.
In the end, Pam chooses to keep Starfire and let her mom use Lightning as a school pony, but still take care of her old pony every day.
Good choice.
Now Lulu: Her dad suddenly wants her to move to Africa with him, because he doesn't want to miss her childhood.
Hello???
Then why did you dump her in Wiggins with her grandmother in the FIRST PLACE???
Lulu begs her father to let her stay in Wiggins, with her FRIENDS, and GRANDMA, and PONY, but her dad insists she move to a country (Botwswana) with civil wars so she can make new friends. Because introverts are soooooo good at that.
Lulu has been defeated by her SUCKY FATHER!!! She decides to give Snow White to Anna, because Snow White is the perfect size for her 4'10" friend.
Anna: Basically what was just said about Lulu. She doesn't want her friends to move and change and go through puberty and that, and she doesn't want to give up Acorn. So she asks her parents if she can have TWO ponies (Snow White and Acorn), and Mike Lacey agrees to help her with barn chores so she doesn't get behind in school.
So Anna has two ponies, Lulu has no pony, and Pam has a horse AND a pony.
Not fair.
So Lulu moves to Africa, taking with her a scrapbook of all the Pony Pal's adventures. AWwww.
More notes:
Can I just say I REALLY liked this book? It was sweet.
Except for all the really bad parents.
Isn't Botswana one of the wartorn countries??
Ooh, Lulu got to ride an elephant!! How exotic!
Whatever. I could still ride ponies like Acorn in like 6th grade at 5'4". Anna is 6 inches shorter than that. She needs to suck it up. Just lengthen your stirrups, honey.
Eleanor is such a fake. "Oooh, I miss Starfire! He'll never be able to compete again!"
So she dumps him on a ten-year-old and buys a NEW horse to compete with.
Pam is 5'4", too, and she's too big for Lightning???? Lightning is 14 hands. She should be the perfect height!!
Pam's mom is so annoying. I really, REALLY despise her.
Ugh.
Eleanor: I thought Starfire and I wouldbe a team forever. Now I'm training another horse. I'll walk him around a little. Then I have to go back and ride my new horse. You'll always be my star! *sob*
-_-
Mr. Crandal shaved!!!!!!! He looks Samoan.
Starfire is so named because he has a white STAR marking on his forehead, but that marking is not evident in the illustration.
Ooh, Dr. Crandal's in on it, too.
If your daughter was happy with a pony, why wouldn't you let her be??
And if Pam isn't too big to ride DAISY and SPLASH and train numerous other ponies, she really shouldn't be too big for Lightning!
Mike: Is this something for Lulu?
Anna: Yeah. It's going to say 'Welcome home.' Pam was supposed to write it, but she's not here yet. And Lulu will be here any minute.
Mike: I'll write it for you. I print good.
Yeah, but you don't speak so well.
The writing in this book is definitely more improved than previous books, but Ms. Betancourt still has a tendency to repeat phrases.
Okay, Mr. Sanders wants Lulu to have some permanence in her life, so he's ripping her out of her comfortable life in Wiggins to live with him in Botswana...FOR TWO YEARS. THEN where are they going to move, I wonder?
Oh, it's going to be so great, Lulu! People speak English there, and you can go to school, and your dad bought an apartment for the two of you!
Oh, and you can't bring Snow White.
Pam: Did you tell your dad you didn't want to move to Africa?
Lulu: It seemed like an okay idea when I was there.
Anna: What does your grandmother always want us to do?
Lulu: Be girlie girls.
I'm glad she has such high expectations.
They let Grandma Sandy give them makeovers, then beg her to tell her irresponsible son to let his daughter stay where she pleases.
Grandma: Makeovers! What a lovely idea. I have a great idea for Anna's hair. A shade of pink nail polish would be perfect for girls your age. And there's a new aqua one with sparkles.
Lulu: I bet Pam would like that one.
Hehehe.
SHE STRAIGHTENS ANNA'S HAIR!!
I think Pam is over Lightning. She forgets what gender her pony is.
This sounds like something from a horror movie.
"Lulu's grandmother turned her attention to Lulu. 'Now I am going to give you curls,' she announced cheerfully."
Whoa, pink and silver beads totally don't go with sparkly aqua nail polish.
Moral of this story: Tomboys are better.
Charlie's back in town!! What, he's 12??? I thought he was 14. He's best friends with Mike and Tommy, isn't he??? WHY WOULD THEY HANG OUT WITH A 12-YEAR-OLD??
Uh oh. They go out to dinner at the diner, looking like girls...and see Tommy, Charlie, and Mike.
Recipe for disaster.
Tommy: Look at the Pony Pests. They're trying to be girls.
Jerk. He's probably a homophobe.
Which is weird, cuz he's gay with Mike.
Is it possible to be a gay homophobe?
I guess that's called hypocrisy.
Meow, Lulu looks like Evangeline Lilly.
Grandma: Riding helmets will crush your new hairdos.
Forsake your riding safety, Lulu! I don't care if you die in a riding accident as long as your corpse looks good!
Then she says: Don't worry about it, dear. It's you I love. Not what your hair looks like.
Which is, like, the opposite of what you've been telling her all these years.
Surprise! Starfire is Pam's now.
And her mom still sucks.
Mrs. Crandal totally drops that bomb on her, and then when Pam reacts, is all, "Sorry, I'm busy, we'll discuss this later."
Haaaate.
Anna's in denial. She doesn't realize she's too huge for Acorn (though in the picture all the girls are the same size and look aptly suited to their ponies).
WHOA!!!
Never tell Anna anything, or she might react like this:
"You're going to have a horse! You're giving up Lightning! If you have Starfire, you won't ride her at all. You're disloyal and you're bad Pony Pals. Both of you!!"
*runs away crying*
The Pony Pals decide to let her cool off on her own for a while.
THEY'RE LEARNING! HALLELUJAH!
Oh. Anna admits she's a little psycho. And sad. And resistant to change.
Awwww.
I HATE LULU'S DAD!!!
He's SO SELFISH! If he wants to be with Lulu so badly, why isn't he putting her best interests into the picture??
It's been about his career all this time, and it's STILL about his career.
He claims he doesn't want to miss anymore of her childhood, that she should remain in one place, and that they belong together.
If that's so, MOVE TO WIGGINS TO BE WITH YOUR KID, YOU SELFISH LOSER!!!
He's SUCH a jerk.
And it sucks cuz Lulu probably knows this, but she does love and her dad and wants to live with him.
This is the part of the book that made me really sad. And incensed. But pretty sad, too.
THE MOMENT OF TRUTH:
Tommy: Good riddance. We have too many Pony Pests around here. We need pest control.
Mike: Stop it! Stop being mean. It's not funny.
Tommy: Good riddance to you, too. You're a bigger pest than they are.
Wow. I guess it's really over. Now Mike and Anna can hook up!!
Unless...uh oh....
Mike: He makes me so mad sometimes. He's a lousy friend.
Charlie: *pats him on the back* You can find better guys than him to hang out with. [Read: ME!]
Mike: *smile* I guess.
Awww, so much for Mike + Anna.
That would be the awesomest fanfic ever. An Anna, Mike, and Charlie love triangle.
Lulu thinks up some pretty smart ideas.
Idea #1: She wants to give Snow White to Anna, because Snow White knows Anna and giving her away is easier than selling her.
Idea #2: They can enter the 21st century (yay!) and use e-mail to communicate.
They agree to e-mail every week.
Every WEEK?? Come on. Use IM and talk every DAY.
What's with the idea that hobbies detract from schoolwork? I disagree. There can be a balance, and Anna does have a legitimate learning disability.
Mrs. Harley isn't the nicest mom either.
Anna: Acorn and Snow White shouldn't be seperated. They're best friends. They're stablemates.
Mrs. Harley: Of course they can be separated. Ponies are bought and sold all the time. You can only have one pony. That's more than most kids have. I'm sorry, Anna. You'll have to decide what pony you want.
Harsh!! I can understand the financial burden another pony would bring, but seriously??? Your kid's grades should have NOTHING to do with the decision, lady. And she has to choose? Way mean.
No way!!!
Rosalie wishes she could ride ponies more often.
Anna can't take care of two ponies.
Mike offers to take care of both ponies, in exchange for more riding time for Rosalie.
That's so nice!!!!
Basically, they make Mike do ALL the barn chores.
Whoa, that wasn't in the agreement. Anna should still help out.
Haha, we find out the Pony Pals' middle names.
Mike's middle name is John. Lame.
Charlie's is K. Huh. Like Harry S. Truman.
Pam's is Eleanor (after the famous chick who tossed her injured horse over Pam's way).
Anna's is Marie.
Lulu doesn't have a middle name. That's why she's no longer in the club and has to move to Africa.
"I heard you're moving to AFrica. It's a wonderful oppurtunity for you."
That's Mr. Harley talking. I suppose that's true, but all the same, how inconsiderate.
This girl has to leave most of her family and friends (AND PONY) to a completely different culture where there are wars and dangerous animals and excessive heat.
Not that I have anything against Africa (quite the opposite), but if I was forced to move there, I'd be cutting myself now.
How convenient. Rosalie is the perfect size for Acorn. So, in essence, Acorn is Rosalie's pony now.
Yay, the Harley's agreed!
They say goodbye to almost everyone in Wiggins, and reference quite a few of the past books. This includes:
Ms. McGee (Historical Society Chick); Mike's grandma (after they found her secret letter in the secret spot in #31); Ms. Raskins (the slacker girl in charge of St. Francis Animal Shelter); Eve Greeley and Lucky (the pony they raised from birth); Mr. and Mrs. Quinn (the old people with the old pony); Mimi Klein and Tongo (the bratty girl with her bratty pony); Mr. Olson (creepy old man/Charlie's uncle); and Mr. Remington (the cool, Harry Potter-obsessed librarian).
They throw a going-away party for Lulu, where they serve all her favorite foods: spaghetti and brownies!!!
Aw. Grandma Sandy buys them matching pony necklaces to help them remember the now defunct Pony Pals.
They have a profile in the back of the book on each character and pony.
Lulu is 5 feet, and likes detective work and spaghetti, but not fussing with her hair.
Anna is 4'10" (!!), and likes brownies and drawing, but not school.
Pam is 5'4" (at 10 years old!!!), and likes jumping and being in charge (that's for sure), but not bossy people (ironically enough).
The Happiest Pony Pal Moment:
When Lulu got Snow White and we knew we would be the Pony Pals.
I can think of happier Pony Pal Moments.
Not off the top of my head, but if I tried really hard....
The Saddest Pony Pal Moment:
When we found out that Lulu was moving.
What about when Winston died?
Well, yeah, I guess friend moving FOREVER trumps pony dying FOREVER.
Not even being sarcastic.
Awww. I miss them already.
Seriously, when did I start this blog?? Remember when it was originally JUST Pony Pals?
Well, now there are no more Pony Pals...
...AND I REALLY MISS THEM.
But I do have plenty of Madison Finns to keep you entertained. That should be fun.
Next stop: Madison Finn Super Special #1. Someone's getting married!!!
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Unkept promises abound, or Pony Pals Super Special #4: The Fourth Pony Pal
So it's the FOURTH Super Special and it's about the FOURTH Pony Pal. Sorry. Not really funny.
Plot: Pam wants to take part in a jumping clinic in Virginia, so she and her Pony Pals go on a road trip!!! w00t!!!
When they get to the clinic, Mrs. Foster (the person in charge) is a total snob, and all the other girls are wankers. Shelly, Mrs. Foster's daughter, is just as mean as everyone else, but seems withdrawn and sad a lot of the time.
The meddling Pony Pals get to the bottom of it: Shelly misses her pony Midnight Ride, but is angry at her mother and best friend Brooke because they'd been advising her to dump Midnight Ride before he DIED of COLIC.
Ooooh, that burns.
The Pony Pals comfort Shelly, convince her to cry it out, and help her reconnect with her mother.
Then they go home.
More notes:
Lulu casually mentions homework. It seems like the Pony Pals NEVER GO TO SCHOOL.
Summer vacation again???
Wait...the clinic is in Virginia. Isn't that where Lulu's godsister or whatever Alicia lives?? And they're not going to go visit? I guess Alicia doesn't exist anymore.
They get a letter from Eleanor Morgan, the pro stadium jumper from #21. She writes like a 10-year-old.
Pam's dad is all, "Oh no, a week without Pam, what will I do?"
Shut up, Robert. You should be jumping for joy.
At least I think his name is Robert. Didn't he say his name was Robert that one time?
Anna feels like she's missing something important....
Underwear? No, not underwear.
Shoes? No, of course not.
Pads? Heck no, why would she need that?
Oh duh - ART SUPPLIES!
Grandmother Sanders gives them a beauty kit to take with them. Read: So you 3 won't look like slobs at the jumping clinic.
They live in Conneticutt (I know I spelled that wrong), right? It takes them 4 HOURS to get to Virginia. I don't think so. Mapquest says 9.
They act like people make a big deal about whether you have a horse or a pony. No, Pam, I don't think anyone cares.
Mrs. Foster is wonderfully polite ...until Pam's mom leaves.
Mrs. Foster: You shouldn't have disappeared like that. All your friends are upstairs.
Shelly: They're not my friends. They're your students.
Nice, a character with backbone!
Anna is such a freak!
"When we stay over at Pam's we sleep in the barn. We call ourselves the Pony Pals and love to trail ride."
And you wonder why you don't make friends easily....
Pam: Hi. I'm Pam Crandal. The tall one.
Um, the black one....
They have a palomino pony...named GOLDIE.
Proving that no one has any originality.
Heh. Mrs. Foster splits them up.
Pam is kind of stupid.
Shelly: Tell Brooke that my mother wants to speak with her.
Pam: *turns to Brooke* Shelly said-
Brooke: No duh, I'm not deaf.
Brooke and Shelly are fighting. Pam is sharing a room with them. Should be fun. XP
"Anna didn't mention the lucky upside-down heart marking on Lightning's forehead. She had a feeling Shelly wouldn't care."
I don't care either, Anna.
Sweet. Shelly is antisocial and feisty. We have a lot in common, Shelly!
Okay, I know these girls like horses, but there are OTHER horse books and movies that DON'T involve Black Beauty.
Everyone likes to talk about themselves, Pam. What's wrong with you?
Brooke is Regina from "Mean Girls".
Shelly seems upset. Pam wonders if Shelly lost a big competition.
Or maybe someone died, perhaps?
Bells say ding-dong, ding-dong. What kind of bell says dong-dong, dong-dong?
Shelly tells Brooke where to stuff it when Brooke mistakenly makes fun of the Pony Pals. Yeaaah!
Mrs. Foster: Quiet, you two. Watch carefully. You can learn a lot just by observing.
Anna: I can learn how to be bored.
Lol.
The Pony Pals want to know what Shelly's problem is and why she's so sad and angry.
I want to know why it's any of their business.
Anna and Snow White escape. In the process of looking for them, Pam sets off the burglar alarm. Hahaha, it wakes EVERYONE up.
I notice no one in this series ever has short hair or glasses. If they're a girl, anyway. For boys, that's true, too...except for the short hair part.
They start talking about ponies and Shelly runs away crying.
RED FLAG!
Her pony's name was Midnight Ride. -_- Guess what color he was?
"Shelly is a lot angry at her mother. We all wonder why."
Not only is that HORRIBLE grammar, but it should seem pretty obvious why Shelly hates her mom; the woman's a PSYCHO.
Anna has come a long way. Instead of instantly labeling people "snobs", she gives Shelly another chance.
Brooke: More Pony Pal secrets?
Lulu: Yes, and they're all about you, Brooke.
Pwned!!
To make friends with Shelly, they write her a letter????
But you guys are staying in the same house!!
Shelly doesn't want to play therapist with the Pony Pals, but she'd rather hang out with them than watch...*drumroll*..."Black Beauty"!
What is their obsession with this movie, as well as spaghetti, brownies, and grilled cheese sandwiches?
Shelly probably shouldn't watch a movie about a black horse. Might set her off again. Whatever.
"I was the only one who cried when Midnight Ride died."
Awwwwww....
Okay, lame. When Shelly tells them she has no interest in competing, Lulu and Anna understand.
But when Pam, in the beginning of the series, told them she HATED competing and had no interest in doing so, they EMOTIONALLY BLACKMAILED her into competing.
These guys SUCK.
Mrs. Foster has a horse named Royal Star.
What a prissy name.
Shelly writes a book about Midnight Ride and gives it to her mom.
Shelly got Midnight Ride when she was 6, and he died of colic when she was 10.
That really sucks.
Shelly: I don't want to live here anymore. I'm going to run away.
Anna: You can come to Wiggins with us if you want, but don't run away.
Whaaat? If you take her to Wiggins with you, you'll be HELPING her run away. SO CONFUSED.
Mrs. Foster promises to be less of a stiff.
Shelly: Is this what the Pony Pals do all the time?
Anna: Not ALL the time. But we trail ride a lot.
They also as participate in parades, man face-painting booths, catch hunters in the act, rescue hamsters, herd sheep, train ponies, find little girls and lost ponies, save ponies, tutor dyslexic girls, heal sick ponies, bargain with sellers, comfort dying ponies, tame wild ponies, join the circus, brave blizzards, give people makeovers, babysit, give blind ponies sight, manipulate and persuade, put out fires, adopt stray cats, take care of elderly ponies, help girls run away, build secret clubhouses, compete in horse shows, barrel race, watch bears, act in movies, find dogs, help birth foals, rescue abused animals, go back in time, communicate with animals, and help the environment.
Shelly's new friends Linda and Mary Ellen have ponies, too!
One is an Appaloosa named Smoothie, for his smooth gait (aaaaagh!).
Now they're all best friends and call themselves the Pony Pals, too.
Doesn't this happen in ALL Pony Pal books? They meet a new girl, make friends with her, convert her to their religion, and then send her home, where she creates her own three person Pony Cult. Creepy.
Only 3 Pony Pals books left: #37, #38, and Super Special #6.
Then it's all over.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Plot: Pam wants to take part in a jumping clinic in Virginia, so she and her Pony Pals go on a road trip!!! w00t!!!
When they get to the clinic, Mrs. Foster (the person in charge) is a total snob, and all the other girls are wankers. Shelly, Mrs. Foster's daughter, is just as mean as everyone else, but seems withdrawn and sad a lot of the time.
The meddling Pony Pals get to the bottom of it: Shelly misses her pony Midnight Ride, but is angry at her mother and best friend Brooke because they'd been advising her to dump Midnight Ride before he DIED of COLIC.
Ooooh, that burns.
The Pony Pals comfort Shelly, convince her to cry it out, and help her reconnect with her mother.
Then they go home.
More notes:
Lulu casually mentions homework. It seems like the Pony Pals NEVER GO TO SCHOOL.
Summer vacation again???
Wait...the clinic is in Virginia. Isn't that where Lulu's godsister or whatever Alicia lives?? And they're not going to go visit? I guess Alicia doesn't exist anymore.
They get a letter from Eleanor Morgan, the pro stadium jumper from #21. She writes like a 10-year-old.
Pam's dad is all, "Oh no, a week without Pam, what will I do?"
Shut up, Robert. You should be jumping for joy.
At least I think his name is Robert. Didn't he say his name was Robert that one time?
Anna feels like she's missing something important....
Underwear? No, not underwear.
Shoes? No, of course not.
Pads? Heck no, why would she need that?
Oh duh - ART SUPPLIES!
Grandmother Sanders gives them a beauty kit to take with them. Read: So you 3 won't look like slobs at the jumping clinic.
They live in Conneticutt (I know I spelled that wrong), right? It takes them 4 HOURS to get to Virginia. I don't think so. Mapquest says 9.
They act like people make a big deal about whether you have a horse or a pony. No, Pam, I don't think anyone cares.
Mrs. Foster is wonderfully polite ...until Pam's mom leaves.
Mrs. Foster: You shouldn't have disappeared like that. All your friends are upstairs.
Shelly: They're not my friends. They're your students.
Nice, a character with backbone!
Anna is such a freak!
"When we stay over at Pam's we sleep in the barn. We call ourselves the Pony Pals and love to trail ride."
And you wonder why you don't make friends easily....
Pam: Hi. I'm Pam Crandal. The tall one.
Um, the black one....
They have a palomino pony...named GOLDIE.
Proving that no one has any originality.
Heh. Mrs. Foster splits them up.
Pam is kind of stupid.
Shelly: Tell Brooke that my mother wants to speak with her.
Pam: *turns to Brooke* Shelly said-
Brooke: No duh, I'm not deaf.
Brooke and Shelly are fighting. Pam is sharing a room with them. Should be fun. XP
"Anna didn't mention the lucky upside-down heart marking on Lightning's forehead. She had a feeling Shelly wouldn't care."
I don't care either, Anna.
Sweet. Shelly is antisocial and feisty. We have a lot in common, Shelly!
Okay, I know these girls like horses, but there are OTHER horse books and movies that DON'T involve Black Beauty.
Everyone likes to talk about themselves, Pam. What's wrong with you?
Brooke is Regina from "Mean Girls".
Shelly seems upset. Pam wonders if Shelly lost a big competition.
Or maybe someone died, perhaps?
Bells say ding-dong, ding-dong. What kind of bell says dong-dong, dong-dong?
Shelly tells Brooke where to stuff it when Brooke mistakenly makes fun of the Pony Pals. Yeaaah!
Mrs. Foster: Quiet, you two. Watch carefully. You can learn a lot just by observing.
Anna: I can learn how to be bored.
Lol.
The Pony Pals want to know what Shelly's problem is and why she's so sad and angry.
I want to know why it's any of their business.
Anna and Snow White escape. In the process of looking for them, Pam sets off the burglar alarm. Hahaha, it wakes EVERYONE up.
I notice no one in this series ever has short hair or glasses. If they're a girl, anyway. For boys, that's true, too...except for the short hair part.
They start talking about ponies and Shelly runs away crying.
RED FLAG!
Her pony's name was Midnight Ride. -_- Guess what color he was?
"Shelly is a lot angry at her mother. We all wonder why."
Not only is that HORRIBLE grammar, but it should seem pretty obvious why Shelly hates her mom; the woman's a PSYCHO.
Anna has come a long way. Instead of instantly labeling people "snobs", she gives Shelly another chance.
Brooke: More Pony Pal secrets?
Lulu: Yes, and they're all about you, Brooke.
Pwned!!
To make friends with Shelly, they write her a letter????
But you guys are staying in the same house!!
Shelly doesn't want to play therapist with the Pony Pals, but she'd rather hang out with them than watch...*drumroll*..."Black Beauty"!
What is their obsession with this movie, as well as spaghetti, brownies, and grilled cheese sandwiches?
Shelly probably shouldn't watch a movie about a black horse. Might set her off again. Whatever.
"I was the only one who cried when Midnight Ride died."
Awwwwww....
Okay, lame. When Shelly tells them she has no interest in competing, Lulu and Anna understand.
But when Pam, in the beginning of the series, told them she HATED competing and had no interest in doing so, they EMOTIONALLY BLACKMAILED her into competing.
These guys SUCK.
Mrs. Foster has a horse named Royal Star.
What a prissy name.
Shelly writes a book about Midnight Ride and gives it to her mom.
Shelly got Midnight Ride when she was 6, and he died of colic when she was 10.
That really sucks.
Shelly: I don't want to live here anymore. I'm going to run away.
Anna: You can come to Wiggins with us if you want, but don't run away.
Whaaat? If you take her to Wiggins with you, you'll be HELPING her run away. SO CONFUSED.
Mrs. Foster promises to be less of a stiff.
Shelly: Is this what the Pony Pals do all the time?
Anna: Not ALL the time. But we trail ride a lot.
They also as participate in parades, man face-painting booths, catch hunters in the act, rescue hamsters, herd sheep, train ponies, find little girls and lost ponies, save ponies, tutor dyslexic girls, heal sick ponies, bargain with sellers, comfort dying ponies, tame wild ponies, join the circus, brave blizzards, give people makeovers, babysit, give blind ponies sight, manipulate and persuade, put out fires, adopt stray cats, take care of elderly ponies, help girls run away, build secret clubhouses, compete in horse shows, barrel race, watch bears, act in movies, find dogs, help birth foals, rescue abused animals, go back in time, communicate with animals, and help the environment.
Shelly's new friends Linda and Mary Ellen have ponies, too!
One is an Appaloosa named Smoothie, for his smooth gait (aaaaagh!).
Now they're all best friends and call themselves the Pony Pals, too.
Doesn't this happen in ALL Pony Pal books? They meet a new girl, make friends with her, convert her to their religion, and then send her home, where she creates her own three person Pony Cult. Creepy.
Only 3 Pony Pals books left: #37, #38, and Super Special #6.
Then it's all over.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
I avoid conflict, or Pony Pals Super Special #5: Pony Problem
I still don't get why Super Specials are so much specialer than the other books. The author runs out of plot after about 70 pages, and this book is 115 pages long.
Plot: Anna wakes up one morning to find Acorn missing - and Snow White hurt! It appears the ponies had a fight, resulting in Acorn's disappearance. They find him at Pam's house, but after that, the two ponies cannot seem to get along! Neither can their owners, for that matter; they both blame each other.
Pam, as you know, can "communicate" with animals, and uses this unique ability to find out what went wrong between the two pony friends. It turns out Acorn is a bit jealous of his friend Snow White, who is receiving lots of attention due to her new barrel racing tricks. Acorn feels a bit left out.
In turn, Snow White is too tired to play with her pony friend and wonders why he is being so "mean" to her.
Pam reveals this to her Pony Pals. They make up and spend the rest of the book planning for the Winter Fest, which goes amazingly well, and everyone is happy.
More notes:
Lulu writes a crappy poem:
Snow White in the moonlight
On a snowy night.
Everything is all right.
Anna thinks Acorn was stolen. After all, he starred in an ABC Family movie, and was in the circus once. Oh, and he played The Magic Pony in that play at the library.
She and Lulu go out looking for Acorn at 7:00 AM without telling their parents! How is it that they NEVER get in trouble??? I can't believe their parents are FINE with this.
Now they're sure someone stole Acorn because there are TRACKS in the PADDOCK! Hello, you guys go into the paddock ALL THE TIME.
Tommy's middle name should be "Trouble". How clever. :P
No duh, it was Anna's footprint.
There's a scene with Pam in the barn with Fat Cat. Fat Cat is depressed because someone put toilet paper in her bed, so now she can't sleep. I swear, if that's not foreshadowing, I don't know what is.
Lulu: Snow White has blood on her neck. Come, look.
Anna: She must have cut herself.
Snow White!!! Didn't I tell you to stay away from those razorblades!!!???
"She was a sweet gray Welsh two-year-old."
If you're talking about a pony (which they are), you wouldn't say it like that. It would be more like, "She was a sweet two-year-old gray Welsh pony," or something.
Agh, it's a misunderstanding. Lulu and Anna are convinced the other is mad at them. Spare me.
"Anna frowned. She hated it when Pam wasn't on her side."
And Pam sort of owes her, too, after the whole abused Cloud thing.
Ugh, Lulu's getting annoying. You know how she gets when she's worried about Snow White, right? THAT'S WHAT SHE'S DOING! "Oh no, it's been 5 minutes! I have to go check on Snow White!"
Anna: How do you know what she's thinking? She's probably thinking, "I wish I had bit Acorn harder."
LOL!!
Anna just feels like being mean. I hear you.
Pam thinks Charlie is bossy.
*cough cough* HYPOCRITE! *cough cough*
Whoa what happened to Charlie and Anna? I thought they were a couple!! I guess not. Charlie's obsessed with Lulu now, and totally ignores Anna when she shows him her drawings.
Wth?? What the heck is skijoring??
"Pam hated it when Charlie acted like he knew more about ponies than she did."
This is payback for all the times you made someone feel stupid because you had to know everything about ponies, Pam.
Omg, that's so awful! "Acorn is happy because Snow WHite isn't here, thought Anna. Snow White might have to move to Pam's. That's okay. The Crandals have plenty of room for another pony."
Whoa. Anna is way evil sometimes.
They're eating spaghetti.
For dinner.
AGAIN.
"What are you doing to Snow White?"
That sounds dirty....
Lulu is a way annoying.
Acorn is jealous. Why isn't Charlie paying attention to him? Why is Snow White learning new tricks? Why won't Snow White play with him?
Acorn needs therapy.
WHOA!
"'You'd be a good snowboarder, Pony Pest,' said Tommy. 'You got good balance."
Pam writes about a time when her mom's horse JB started eating wood, and he told her that he missed his goat friend Queenie.
Queenie? Wasn't that the name of the sheep in #12?
Whoa. Acorn's side of the story is my life.
Remind Acorn that he is special and everything will be all right.
Mwahaha. Anna thinks Snow White should move out. Because it's her backyard, and Snow White doesn't belong there.
Pam: I think Acorn and Snow White are still fighting because you are still fighting. Animals pick up on how people feel.
Lulu: But we're fighting because our ponies are fighting.
Pam: It's a vicious circle.
Lol. A vicious circle. It's a vicious "cycle", Pam.
The exterminator joke is getting old, Tommy.
Charlie sits next to Lulu...and Mike sits next to Anna. :O He's bisexual?
Ha ha, Pam has no one.
Charlie: What's wrong with those guys? Sometimes they're okay and sometimes they're sort of dumb.
Tee hee. Just like the Pony Pals!!
Charlie is starting to sound less like a cowboy and more like a Brit.
"I have an idea! It's positively brilliant!!"
Ha. Lulu got suckered into barrel racing.
Aagh.
Mr. Olson: Mr. Charlie can make you his special Mexican burritos.
What other kind of burritos would they be eating? French burritos?
Charlie: They're muy delicioso.
Someone's been watching Dora the Explorer recently!
The Pony Pals make a pony scrapbook.
"Mr. Olson came in to get a drink. The stories were so interesting he stayed to listen."
Oh, I highly doubt that.
All of these stories are basically about how amazing Snow White is. "I used to have no friends. Then I met Snow White." "We had a costume parade. Snow White went first because she's so beautiful." "I fell in a hole, but got out all right, because I'm snow White!"
I think one of the stories is from Super Special #4...WHICH I HAVEN'T READ YET!
I don't remember this lamb business. They say they rescued a baby lamb. When was this?
Pwned. They attack Charlie and snowball him. Literally. Lol.
Oh no! If Winter Fest is cancelled, what will Anna's mother do with all the brownies she baked?
Give them to the fatty Pony Pals, of course!
Apparently Tommy is a pro snowboarder.
Anna: At least he can do something right.
Noyce.
BFFs!! I swear, this is like the Bratz movie.
Plot: Anna wakes up one morning to find Acorn missing - and Snow White hurt! It appears the ponies had a fight, resulting in Acorn's disappearance. They find him at Pam's house, but after that, the two ponies cannot seem to get along! Neither can their owners, for that matter; they both blame each other.
Pam, as you know, can "communicate" with animals, and uses this unique ability to find out what went wrong between the two pony friends. It turns out Acorn is a bit jealous of his friend Snow White, who is receiving lots of attention due to her new barrel racing tricks. Acorn feels a bit left out.
In turn, Snow White is too tired to play with her pony friend and wonders why he is being so "mean" to her.
Pam reveals this to her Pony Pals. They make up and spend the rest of the book planning for the Winter Fest, which goes amazingly well, and everyone is happy.
More notes:
Lulu writes a crappy poem:
Snow White in the moonlight
On a snowy night.
Everything is all right.
Anna thinks Acorn was stolen. After all, he starred in an ABC Family movie, and was in the circus once. Oh, and he played The Magic Pony in that play at the library.
She and Lulu go out looking for Acorn at 7:00 AM without telling their parents! How is it that they NEVER get in trouble??? I can't believe their parents are FINE with this.
Now they're sure someone stole Acorn because there are TRACKS in the PADDOCK! Hello, you guys go into the paddock ALL THE TIME.
Tommy's middle name should be "Trouble". How clever. :P
No duh, it was Anna's footprint.
There's a scene with Pam in the barn with Fat Cat. Fat Cat is depressed because someone put toilet paper in her bed, so now she can't sleep. I swear, if that's not foreshadowing, I don't know what is.
Lulu: Snow White has blood on her neck. Come, look.
Anna: She must have cut herself.
Snow White!!! Didn't I tell you to stay away from those razorblades!!!???
"She was a sweet gray Welsh two-year-old."
If you're talking about a pony (which they are), you wouldn't say it like that. It would be more like, "She was a sweet two-year-old gray Welsh pony," or something.
Agh, it's a misunderstanding. Lulu and Anna are convinced the other is mad at them. Spare me.
"Anna frowned. She hated it when Pam wasn't on her side."
And Pam sort of owes her, too, after the whole abused Cloud thing.
Ugh, Lulu's getting annoying. You know how she gets when she's worried about Snow White, right? THAT'S WHAT SHE'S DOING! "Oh no, it's been 5 minutes! I have to go check on Snow White!"
Anna: How do you know what she's thinking? She's probably thinking, "I wish I had bit Acorn harder."
LOL!!
Anna just feels like being mean. I hear you.
Pam thinks Charlie is bossy.
*cough cough* HYPOCRITE! *cough cough*
Whoa what happened to Charlie and Anna? I thought they were a couple!! I guess not. Charlie's obsessed with Lulu now, and totally ignores Anna when she shows him her drawings.
Wth?? What the heck is skijoring??
"Pam hated it when Charlie acted like he knew more about ponies than she did."
This is payback for all the times you made someone feel stupid because you had to know everything about ponies, Pam.
Omg, that's so awful! "Acorn is happy because Snow WHite isn't here, thought Anna. Snow White might have to move to Pam's. That's okay. The Crandals have plenty of room for another pony."
Whoa. Anna is way evil sometimes.
They're eating spaghetti.
For dinner.
AGAIN.
"What are you doing to Snow White?"
That sounds dirty....
Lulu is a way annoying.
Acorn is jealous. Why isn't Charlie paying attention to him? Why is Snow White learning new tricks? Why won't Snow White play with him?
Acorn needs therapy.
WHOA!
"'You'd be a good snowboarder, Pony Pest,' said Tommy. 'You got good balance."
Pam writes about a time when her mom's horse JB started eating wood, and he told her that he missed his goat friend Queenie.
Queenie? Wasn't that the name of the sheep in #12?
Whoa. Acorn's side of the story is my life.
Remind Acorn that he is special and everything will be all right.
Mwahaha. Anna thinks Snow White should move out. Because it's her backyard, and Snow White doesn't belong there.
Pam: I think Acorn and Snow White are still fighting because you are still fighting. Animals pick up on how people feel.
Lulu: But we're fighting because our ponies are fighting.
Pam: It's a vicious circle.
Lol. A vicious circle. It's a vicious "cycle", Pam.
The exterminator joke is getting old, Tommy.
Charlie sits next to Lulu...and Mike sits next to Anna. :O He's bisexual?
Ha ha, Pam has no one.
Charlie: What's wrong with those guys? Sometimes they're okay and sometimes they're sort of dumb.
Tee hee. Just like the Pony Pals!!
Charlie is starting to sound less like a cowboy and more like a Brit.
"I have an idea! It's positively brilliant!!"
Ha. Lulu got suckered into barrel racing.
Aagh.
Mr. Olson: Mr. Charlie can make you his special Mexican burritos.
What other kind of burritos would they be eating? French burritos?
Charlie: They're muy delicioso.
Someone's been watching Dora the Explorer recently!
The Pony Pals make a pony scrapbook.
"Mr. Olson came in to get a drink. The stories were so interesting he stayed to listen."
Oh, I highly doubt that.
All of these stories are basically about how amazing Snow White is. "I used to have no friends. Then I met Snow White." "We had a costume parade. Snow White went first because she's so beautiful." "I fell in a hole, but got out all right, because I'm snow White!"
I think one of the stories is from Super Special #4...WHICH I HAVEN'T READ YET!
I don't remember this lamb business. They say they rescued a baby lamb. When was this?
Pwned. They attack Charlie and snowball him. Literally. Lol.
Oh no! If Winter Fest is cancelled, what will Anna's mother do with all the brownies she baked?
Give them to the fatty Pony Pals, of course!
Apparently Tommy is a pro snowboarder.
Anna: At least he can do something right.
Noyce.
BFFs!! I swear, this is like the Bratz movie.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Bad behavior implies illness, or Pony Pals #33: What's Wrong With My Pony?
Yay, I'm back! I haven't posted for a while because I was reading a bunch of "Unicorns of Balinor" and some really tedious "Avalons" and I didn't want to post knowing those would come after this. Oh well. I've got some new Pony Pals, too, so that makes me feel a little bit better.
Plot: Lightning, Pam's usually well-behaved pony, is acting up! She bites her friends, attacks Pam, and almost tramples several people! Pam thinks Lightning is jealous because Pam rode Splash for all of two seconds. Right. That was her problem in book 6, too.
The Pony Pals, who are a tad smarter than Pam, suggest that Lightning has some disease or illness that is making her act up. Hm, could it be Equine ADHD?
They look online and find a page on "Lyme Disease". The symptoms listed on the page match Lightning's symptoms exactly!!
Dr. Crandal isn't convinced. He sends some of Lightning's DNA to the lab...and she has Lyme Disease!
I always thought Lyme Disease was one of those diseases that you have for the rest of your life. I read it in a Brio story. I guess they were wrong.
The rest of the book, Pam whines about how much she misses her pony and how she's never going to get better.
But she gets better. Obviously. Hurray.
More notes:
The Crandal twins are five again. They shall forever be five, I think.
Isn't Splash difficult every day?
Yeah, Splash is an Appaloosa. Why is he chestnut in the picture?
Mrs. Crandal's students have differing opinions on what a "circle" is. "Ride around in a circle." "Okay! *ride side by side*"
Pam believes she has a special connection with ponies....
Lightning doesn't want to put the saddle on. She must have woken up from a bad dream. So much for a special connection, Pam.
AAAAGH, NO, LIGHTNING IS NOT JEALOUS THAT YOU RODE ANOTHER PONY!!!
Lightning bolts and Lulu's like, "Pam, you shouldn't ride so fast!!!"
Ha. Lightning BOLTS. Wow. That's a good one. -_-
Whenever a pony is behaving badly, the Pony Pals assume something is physically wrong with it. Maybe it's just a badly behaved pony!!!
Anna thinks Pam's jealousy theory is stupid.
Lightning almost tramples Pam. I was really hoping she would. But, of course, she didn't. Darn.
Pam falls and hurts her arm and her "backside". I remember a teacher I had who always said "gluteous maximus" and nothing else. She also didn't want boys and girls to hug each other. "Save those for your mommies."
OMG! Best Pony Pals dialogue EVER! It doesn't even sound like they're talking about a pony!
Pam: I got dumped, now I have to get back on. Lightning an dI have to work this out. I can't let her get away with it.
Anna: But your butt. It will hurt to ride.
Pam: I have to do it! Don't you understand?
Anna: Don't be mad at me. I didn't dump you!
ROFL!!!!! Pam got dumped. Wait...did she just come out? I like how Anna slipped and said "butt".
Lulu: We decided you should go first. In case you have more trouble.
Pam: I don't want to go first.
Anna: It's two against one. So you have to go first. That's the Pony Pal rule.
Pam: That's for a Pony Pal Problem. This isn't a Pony Pal Problem. It's my problem with Lightning.
Pam's controlling behavior has rubbed off on her friends.
Lightning bucks Pam off. If she keeps this us, we could be rid of Pam by the end of the book!
"Lightning's not just mad at you. She's mad at everybody." Awww, poor emo Lightning.
Whoa!! Lulu and Anna both admit they were wrong!! Progress.
But then they insist that Lightning is a Pony Pal problem. So much for that.
GUESS WHAT THEY'RE EATING FOR DINNER AT THE CRANDAL HOUSE. NO, GUESS.
SPAGHETTI. AGAIN.
Jill touches Pam's injured arm and Pam screams. Her parents are worried she is in an abusive relationship. Pam's excuse: "I bumped it."
Pam's theory: Lightning doesn't like me anymore.
Or maybe she never liked you and is just starting to show it.
Anna suggests that Pam is too big for Lightning. So what, she should get rid of her? Actually, that's probably a good idea. Lightning kills. Ha. I wasn't even trying to be funny (not that I succeeded).
The Pony Pals keep saying "butt". WHat foul language! Soon they might start saying, "Shut up," to one another!
NOTHING IS PHYSICALLY WRONG WITH LIGHTNING.
There they go, spying again.
Pam didn't tell her parents about Lightning because she thought it was her fault.
Anna: Don't hug her. Her arm is sore from falling off Lightning.
Way to go, Anna. She gives Mrs. Crandal a heart attack.
Ohhh, THAT'S why Lightning is so crankky! She has Lyme disease and her legs are sore!
Pam: How could Lightning have Lyme disease? There aren't any ticks around now. It's winter and everything is frozen.
Dr. Crandal: She could have been bitten months ago. Some people and animals don't get sick right away.
Like with HIV/AIDS!
Dr. Crandal won't say if Lyme is curable. Right. Lightning's a goner.
Oh dear, Lightning might have this for the rest of her life.
Pam wishes on a star that her pony will heal.
And it RHYMES! "Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight. Please let my pony, Lightning, be all right."
Heh.
The Pony Pals are really mean to little kids.
Pam refuses to think of others and ride Splash for Jill, even though Jill won't be able to go riding UNLESS Pam goes first. But Pam's all, "NO, I have to watch Lightning!"
Then Pam starts bossing Jill around.
Now Pam wants to skip school so she can stay home with Lightning. So far, Lightning isn't that sick: her muscles hurt, and she's cranky, but she's eating and drinking normally and can take care of herself. Just leave her alone, Pam.
Pam is such a drama queen. "I may never ride Lightning again."
HA! She writes up a progress report for Lightning. "Is she lame? Yes." Hahahahaha.
Pam is such a loser!! She's basically never going to ride Splash for her sister, but makes it seem like JILL is the selfish one. She's 5 years old!! Of course she's selfish! Your pony's not going to die if you decide to ride another one!
Oh no. Pam is turning into a not-very-nice person. Well, you weren't exactly Ms. Congeniality before, Pam.
Jill writes her a letter. Even though they live in the same house. Yeah.
Deer Pam. I want to bee like yu. I want to talke to pones to. I heart yu. Jill. I want Litnin to bee better too.
I hate the exaggerated five-year-old spelling problems and handwriting.
The tickle-torture machine? Sounds ominous.
:O The Pony Pals are passing notes in class? OUTRAGEOUS!
Pam misses riding, so her mom allows her to ride Sterling (apparently her horse, though we've never heard of him before today), but Pam wants to stay with Lightning. Whatever. I'd take a beautiful HORSE over a cranky PONY any day.
Okay, so that's it. I have a much better Pony Pals that I can do maybe Monday, because tomorrow's THE SUPERBOWL (woo, go Giants!!).
Ew, I have a way boring Unicorns of Balinor, the next to the last one, but I'm taking out all the sticky note markers and just summarizing it, because that series BORES ME.
Plot: Lightning, Pam's usually well-behaved pony, is acting up! She bites her friends, attacks Pam, and almost tramples several people! Pam thinks Lightning is jealous because Pam rode Splash for all of two seconds. Right. That was her problem in book 6, too.
The Pony Pals, who are a tad smarter than Pam, suggest that Lightning has some disease or illness that is making her act up. Hm, could it be Equine ADHD?
They look online and find a page on "Lyme Disease". The symptoms listed on the page match Lightning's symptoms exactly!!
Dr. Crandal isn't convinced. He sends some of Lightning's DNA to the lab...and she has Lyme Disease!
I always thought Lyme Disease was one of those diseases that you have for the rest of your life. I read it in a Brio story. I guess they were wrong.
The rest of the book, Pam whines about how much she misses her pony and how she's never going to get better.
But she gets better. Obviously. Hurray.
More notes:
The Crandal twins are five again. They shall forever be five, I think.
Isn't Splash difficult every day?
Yeah, Splash is an Appaloosa. Why is he chestnut in the picture?
Mrs. Crandal's students have differing opinions on what a "circle" is. "Ride around in a circle." "Okay! *ride side by side*"
Pam believes she has a special connection with ponies....
Lightning doesn't want to put the saddle on. She must have woken up from a bad dream. So much for a special connection, Pam.
AAAAGH, NO, LIGHTNING IS NOT JEALOUS THAT YOU RODE ANOTHER PONY!!!
Lightning bolts and Lulu's like, "Pam, you shouldn't ride so fast!!!"
Ha. Lightning BOLTS. Wow. That's a good one. -_-
Whenever a pony is behaving badly, the Pony Pals assume something is physically wrong with it. Maybe it's just a badly behaved pony!!!
Anna thinks Pam's jealousy theory is stupid.
Lightning almost tramples Pam. I was really hoping she would. But, of course, she didn't. Darn.
Pam falls and hurts her arm and her "backside". I remember a teacher I had who always said "gluteous maximus" and nothing else. She also didn't want boys and girls to hug each other. "Save those for your mommies."
OMG! Best Pony Pals dialogue EVER! It doesn't even sound like they're talking about a pony!
Pam: I got dumped, now I have to get back on. Lightning an dI have to work this out. I can't let her get away with it.
Anna: But your butt. It will hurt to ride.
Pam: I have to do it! Don't you understand?
Anna: Don't be mad at me. I didn't dump you!
ROFL!!!!! Pam got dumped. Wait...did she just come out? I like how Anna slipped and said "butt".
Lulu: We decided you should go first. In case you have more trouble.
Pam: I don't want to go first.
Anna: It's two against one. So you have to go first. That's the Pony Pal rule.
Pam: That's for a Pony Pal Problem. This isn't a Pony Pal Problem. It's my problem with Lightning.
Pam's controlling behavior has rubbed off on her friends.
Lightning bucks Pam off. If she keeps this us, we could be rid of Pam by the end of the book!
"Lightning's not just mad at you. She's mad at everybody." Awww, poor emo Lightning.
Whoa!! Lulu and Anna both admit they were wrong!! Progress.
But then they insist that Lightning is a Pony Pal problem. So much for that.
GUESS WHAT THEY'RE EATING FOR DINNER AT THE CRANDAL HOUSE. NO, GUESS.
SPAGHETTI. AGAIN.
Jill touches Pam's injured arm and Pam screams. Her parents are worried she is in an abusive relationship. Pam's excuse: "I bumped it."
Pam's theory: Lightning doesn't like me anymore.
Or maybe she never liked you and is just starting to show it.
Anna suggests that Pam is too big for Lightning. So what, she should get rid of her? Actually, that's probably a good idea. Lightning kills. Ha. I wasn't even trying to be funny (not that I succeeded).
The Pony Pals keep saying "butt". WHat foul language! Soon they might start saying, "Shut up," to one another!
NOTHING IS PHYSICALLY WRONG WITH LIGHTNING.
There they go, spying again.
Pam didn't tell her parents about Lightning because she thought it was her fault.
Anna: Don't hug her. Her arm is sore from falling off Lightning.
Way to go, Anna. She gives Mrs. Crandal a heart attack.
Ohhh, THAT'S why Lightning is so crankky! She has Lyme disease and her legs are sore!
Pam: How could Lightning have Lyme disease? There aren't any ticks around now. It's winter and everything is frozen.
Dr. Crandal: She could have been bitten months ago. Some people and animals don't get sick right away.
Like with HIV/AIDS!
Dr. Crandal won't say if Lyme is curable. Right. Lightning's a goner.
Oh dear, Lightning might have this for the rest of her life.
Pam wishes on a star that her pony will heal.
And it RHYMES! "Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight. Please let my pony, Lightning, be all right."
Heh.
The Pony Pals are really mean to little kids.
Pam refuses to think of others and ride Splash for Jill, even though Jill won't be able to go riding UNLESS Pam goes first. But Pam's all, "NO, I have to watch Lightning!"
Then Pam starts bossing Jill around.
Now Pam wants to skip school so she can stay home with Lightning. So far, Lightning isn't that sick: her muscles hurt, and she's cranky, but she's eating and drinking normally and can take care of herself. Just leave her alone, Pam.
Pam is such a drama queen. "I may never ride Lightning again."
HA! She writes up a progress report for Lightning. "Is she lame? Yes." Hahahahaha.
Pam is such a loser!! She's basically never going to ride Splash for her sister, but makes it seem like JILL is the selfish one. She's 5 years old!! Of course she's selfish! Your pony's not going to die if you decide to ride another one!
Oh no. Pam is turning into a not-very-nice person. Well, you weren't exactly Ms. Congeniality before, Pam.
Jill writes her a letter. Even though they live in the same house. Yeah.
Deer Pam. I want to bee like yu. I want to talke to pones to. I heart yu. Jill. I want Litnin to bee better too.
I hate the exaggerated five-year-old spelling problems and handwriting.
The tickle-torture machine? Sounds ominous.
:O The Pony Pals are passing notes in class? OUTRAGEOUS!
Pam misses riding, so her mom allows her to ride Sterling (apparently her horse, though we've never heard of him before today), but Pam wants to stay with Lightning. Whatever. I'd take a beautiful HORSE over a cranky PONY any day.
Okay, so that's it. I have a much better Pony Pals that I can do maybe Monday, because tomorrow's THE SUPERBOWL (woo, go Giants!!).
Ew, I have a way boring Unicorns of Balinor, the next to the last one, but I'm taking out all the sticky note markers and just summarizing it, because that series BORES ME.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Mischief implies abuse, or Pony Pals #30: Pony-4-Sale
Yay, I finished my 2007 playlist! This isn't the most flattering picture of Pam. It's as if they WANTED her to look like a pig. Cloud looks fake. No pony is that skinny.
Plot: Pam and Lightning are riding around, as usual, when she stumbles across a birthday party featuring Maggie the Magician. Since it's obviously none of her business, she goes to check it out. What she sees is a very mean magician and a very neglected pony. She finds out from Maggie that Cloud, the pony, will soon be sold for the meat price if no one else buys him.
Instead of calling PETA or the Humane Society or any other animal rights organization like a normal person, Pam calls on the Pony Pals and they send Anna, who is "the best actress", to pretend like she is interested in buying Cloud, in order to lengthen his life. Then they all go back to Pam's house and write a letter to Mr. O'Connor, the Irish guy who owns Echo Farms, asking about Cloud.
Next, they send Lulu, who finds out that Cloud is a Connemara (just like Lightning), was originally from Echo Farm (where Lightning is also from), and throws his riders; she finds this last part out from experience, however, as Pam convinces her to ride Cloud and the skinny little nag throws her. This makes Lulu furious at Pam for letting her ride a "dangerous animal", who insists Lulu is just a bad rider.
Uh oh. It seems the Pony Pals are having a fight.
Finally, Lulu flees when Pam refuses to apologize.
Hark! A reply from Mr. O'Connor! He says he doesn't remember Maggie the Musician, but he does remember selling Cloud to a boy named Sandy Young, including in the e-mail Sandy's new phone number. What a coincidence, he lives in Wiggins!
Instead of calling, they ask Dr. Crandal if he ever had a patient named Cloud. No go.
Pam complains a lot about Lulu and insists that "if she really cared about Pony Pal problems, she'd be there".
Lulu does come back, armed with several good ideas of how to find Sandy. She and Pam continue to ignore each other, making Anna increasingly anxious. Finally, Anna explodes and tells the two of them that their fight is stupid and that they should get over themselves. Pam apologizes...after Lulu does. Loser.
They use a cool little trick on the internet to find Sandy's house, ride on over there, and tell him about his old pony. Sandy flips out, grabs some money from the bank, and promptly buys Cloud back from Maggie the Magician. His mother scolds Maggie for being abusive. The Pony Pals conclude that they will be friends forever. The Pony Pals, not Maggie and Mrs. Young.
More notes:
Maggie: What do we say to make magic happen?
Children: Ab-ra-ca-da-bra and wow-wow kaaa-zoo!
Even as a child, I'd have a hard time believing that.
Maggie makes a bird fly out of her hat. Pam is all, "That's not very nice for the bird." Suck it up, Pam.
:O Maggie squirts Cloud with water! ABUSE! ABUSE!
The twins are still 5??
Pam bursts into tears when she hears Maggie's plan to sell Cloud.
THEY'RE HAVING GRILLED-CHEESE SANDWHICHES AGAIN!!! I swear, that's all they eat! Spaghetti, grilled-cheese, and brownies! Actually, that's all I ever eat, so hey.
They think Anna is the best actress. And yet her pony starred in a movie, not her.
"'Okay,' agreed Anna. 'How's this?' Anna put on a sweet smile. 'Hello, Ms. Sullivan. My mommy and daddy said I could have a pony. I heard you have a pony for sale. Can I see it?'"
Yeah, that's believable.
This is how Pam and Anna became friends:
Pam: You can ride my pony. My mommy can teach you how.
They've been together ever since.
It's like there are only 4 pony breeds: Connemaras, Shetlands, Welsh ponies, and Morgans, even though MORGANS AREN'T PONIES!
What a coincidence, Lightning and Cloud are from the same place! Because there's only one place to get Connemaras, didn't you know?
Omg. Guess what they're having at Pam's house for dinner.
Spaghetti
and
meatballs.
Lulu asks Mrs. Crandal if she'd be interested in buying Cloud. The Pony Pals get mad because she "broke a Pony Pal rule". The following ensues.
Pam: Why did you ask my mother to buy Cloud?
Lulu: I thought it was a good idea.
Anna: You should have talked to Pam and me about it first. It's a Pony Pal rule.
First of all, it's "Pam and I", and that's a stupid rule. "I'm going to the bathroom, guys." "No, I think it would be best if you didn't." "But I need to." "Oh dear, this calls for 3 ideas." Please continue.
Pam: You asked her at the worst time. My mother needs someone to take care of ponies, not another pony to take care of.
Lulu: It's not big deal. She said no.
Yaay Lulu.
Pam is still all, "BREAKING A PONY PAL RULE IS A BIG DEAL!!!"
Aargh, just call PETA!!!! What's with this sneaking around???
Cloud throws Lulu while Pam screams from the sidelines, "REIN HIM IN! REIN HIM IN!"
You suck, Pam.
Maggie: You pulled too hard on his mouth. Maybe you haven't ridden so much, after all.
Pam: She hasn't.
Omg, Pam is way awful!!!
Lulu: Pam should know if a pony is safe to ride. I trusted her.
Pam: And I trusted that you know how to ride.
Lulu: You're so smart about ponies. You knew it was dangerous for me to tget on Cloud and you let me do it! You care more about solving Pony Pal problems than you do about your Pony Pals.
So true. You've hit the nail on the proverbial head, Lulu. Pam's weak response:
Pam: Maybe you did pull too hard on his mouth!
Anna's not too helpful, either.
"This Pony Pal problem is more important than your little fight."
Cult behavior. This is classic cult behavior.
Lame. "A woman came out leading a Great Dane. She looked like she'd been crying. She smiled at Pam. 'Your father saved my Mitzy's life,' said the woman."
I can just see Dr. Crandal being all, "All in a day's work."
So stalker. Let's go to his house instead of calling him!!
Pam apologizes for being stupid...and Lulu apologizes for breaking a Pony Pal rule. If she hadn't, they probably would've flogged her. I don't think she should've apologized. Lulu, not Pam. I'm actually on her side for once.
Sandy used to live on a farm, but they had to sell it because it wasn't making enough money. That sounds JUST like the movie Acorn and Bette Fleming were in..."Megan's Last Ride" or whatever.
He had a cat named Toots..........
Ew, Sandy looks like Johnathan Taylor Thomas.
Pam prides herself in being a professional detective. Sandy OBVIOUSLY hasn't done much detective work. Whatever.
They go back to the diner...and eat some brownies.
Wait a minute...Sandy wants to buy Cloud back...but he lives in an APARTMENT. And if his parents are really as poor as he says, why did they give him the money they made from selling Cloud??
Anna fixes that problem. It's sort of a bribe, too: Sandy will work for Mrs. Crandal in exchange for boarding Cloud. Nice.
WHAT IS WITH PEOPLE AND RIDING??
Anna: What if Maggie has ruined Cloud for riding? What if he never lets you ride him again?
Sandy: I don't care. I still want to save Cloud.
Well, DUH! It's not like you would be, "Oh, in that case, let's just let him DIE!"
"Sandy kissed Cloud's cheek. Cloud pulled away from him.
'Touch him someplace else,' Pam told Sandy."
:O
Whaaat? Ponies have wolf teeth? Confused. I'm looking that up.
Lulu: And we can make Cloud a warm mash. We'll make it extra soft and delicious.
That struck me as hilariously funny.
"'Lightning and Cloud are friends forever,' Lulu whispered in Pam's ear. 'Just like us.'"
Even after your fight? And Pam's controlling behavior? And the FLOGGING?
An Avalon about unicorns is next...on Kid's WB. Only it's not the WB anymore. It's my Q2, or whatever.
Plot: Pam and Lightning are riding around, as usual, when she stumbles across a birthday party featuring Maggie the Magician. Since it's obviously none of her business, she goes to check it out. What she sees is a very mean magician and a very neglected pony. She finds out from Maggie that Cloud, the pony, will soon be sold for the meat price if no one else buys him.
Instead of calling PETA or the Humane Society or any other animal rights organization like a normal person, Pam calls on the Pony Pals and they send Anna, who is "the best actress", to pretend like she is interested in buying Cloud, in order to lengthen his life. Then they all go back to Pam's house and write a letter to Mr. O'Connor, the Irish guy who owns Echo Farms, asking about Cloud.
Next, they send Lulu, who finds out that Cloud is a Connemara (just like Lightning), was originally from Echo Farm (where Lightning is also from), and throws his riders; she finds this last part out from experience, however, as Pam convinces her to ride Cloud and the skinny little nag throws her. This makes Lulu furious at Pam for letting her ride a "dangerous animal", who insists Lulu is just a bad rider.
Uh oh. It seems the Pony Pals are having a fight.
Finally, Lulu flees when Pam refuses to apologize.
Hark! A reply from Mr. O'Connor! He says he doesn't remember Maggie the Musician, but he does remember selling Cloud to a boy named Sandy Young, including in the e-mail Sandy's new phone number. What a coincidence, he lives in Wiggins!
Instead of calling, they ask Dr. Crandal if he ever had a patient named Cloud. No go.
Pam complains a lot about Lulu and insists that "if she really cared about Pony Pal problems, she'd be there".
Lulu does come back, armed with several good ideas of how to find Sandy. She and Pam continue to ignore each other, making Anna increasingly anxious. Finally, Anna explodes and tells the two of them that their fight is stupid and that they should get over themselves. Pam apologizes...after Lulu does. Loser.
They use a cool little trick on the internet to find Sandy's house, ride on over there, and tell him about his old pony. Sandy flips out, grabs some money from the bank, and promptly buys Cloud back from Maggie the Magician. His mother scolds Maggie for being abusive. The Pony Pals conclude that they will be friends forever. The Pony Pals, not Maggie and Mrs. Young.
More notes:
Maggie: What do we say to make magic happen?
Children: Ab-ra-ca-da-bra and wow-wow kaaa-zoo!
Even as a child, I'd have a hard time believing that.
Maggie makes a bird fly out of her hat. Pam is all, "That's not very nice for the bird." Suck it up, Pam.
:O Maggie squirts Cloud with water! ABUSE! ABUSE!
The twins are still 5??
Pam bursts into tears when she hears Maggie's plan to sell Cloud.
THEY'RE HAVING GRILLED-CHEESE SANDWHICHES AGAIN!!! I swear, that's all they eat! Spaghetti, grilled-cheese, and brownies! Actually, that's all I ever eat, so hey.
They think Anna is the best actress. And yet her pony starred in a movie, not her.
"'Okay,' agreed Anna. 'How's this?' Anna put on a sweet smile. 'Hello, Ms. Sullivan. My mommy and daddy said I could have a pony. I heard you have a pony for sale. Can I see it?'"
Yeah, that's believable.
This is how Pam and Anna became friends:
Pam: You can ride my pony. My mommy can teach you how.
They've been together ever since.
It's like there are only 4 pony breeds: Connemaras, Shetlands, Welsh ponies, and Morgans, even though MORGANS AREN'T PONIES!
What a coincidence, Lightning and Cloud are from the same place! Because there's only one place to get Connemaras, didn't you know?
Omg. Guess what they're having at Pam's house for dinner.
Spaghetti
and
meatballs.
Lulu asks Mrs. Crandal if she'd be interested in buying Cloud. The Pony Pals get mad because she "broke a Pony Pal rule". The following ensues.
Pam: Why did you ask my mother to buy Cloud?
Lulu: I thought it was a good idea.
Anna: You should have talked to Pam and me about it first. It's a Pony Pal rule.
First of all, it's "Pam and I", and that's a stupid rule. "I'm going to the bathroom, guys." "No, I think it would be best if you didn't." "But I need to." "Oh dear, this calls for 3 ideas." Please continue.
Pam: You asked her at the worst time. My mother needs someone to take care of ponies, not another pony to take care of.
Lulu: It's not big deal. She said no.
Yaay Lulu.
Pam is still all, "BREAKING A PONY PAL RULE IS A BIG DEAL!!!"
Aargh, just call PETA!!!! What's with this sneaking around???
Cloud throws Lulu while Pam screams from the sidelines, "REIN HIM IN! REIN HIM IN!"
You suck, Pam.
Maggie: You pulled too hard on his mouth. Maybe you haven't ridden so much, after all.
Pam: She hasn't.
Omg, Pam is way awful!!!
Lulu: Pam should know if a pony is safe to ride. I trusted her.
Pam: And I trusted that you know how to ride.
Lulu: You're so smart about ponies. You knew it was dangerous for me to tget on Cloud and you let me do it! You care more about solving Pony Pal problems than you do about your Pony Pals.
So true. You've hit the nail on the proverbial head, Lulu. Pam's weak response:
Pam: Maybe you did pull too hard on his mouth!
Anna's not too helpful, either.
"This Pony Pal problem is more important than your little fight."
Cult behavior. This is classic cult behavior.
Lame. "A woman came out leading a Great Dane. She looked like she'd been crying. She smiled at Pam. 'Your father saved my Mitzy's life,' said the woman."
I can just see Dr. Crandal being all, "All in a day's work."
So stalker. Let's go to his house instead of calling him!!
Pam apologizes for being stupid...and Lulu apologizes for breaking a Pony Pal rule. If she hadn't, they probably would've flogged her. I don't think she should've apologized. Lulu, not Pam. I'm actually on her side for once.
Sandy used to live on a farm, but they had to sell it because it wasn't making enough money. That sounds JUST like the movie Acorn and Bette Fleming were in..."Megan's Last Ride" or whatever.
He had a cat named Toots..........
Ew, Sandy looks like Johnathan Taylor Thomas.
Pam prides herself in being a professional detective. Sandy OBVIOUSLY hasn't done much detective work. Whatever.
They go back to the diner...and eat some brownies.
Wait a minute...Sandy wants to buy Cloud back...but he lives in an APARTMENT. And if his parents are really as poor as he says, why did they give him the money they made from selling Cloud??
Anna fixes that problem. It's sort of a bribe, too: Sandy will work for Mrs. Crandal in exchange for boarding Cloud. Nice.
WHAT IS WITH PEOPLE AND RIDING??
Anna: What if Maggie has ruined Cloud for riding? What if he never lets you ride him again?
Sandy: I don't care. I still want to save Cloud.
Well, DUH! It's not like you would be, "Oh, in that case, let's just let him DIE!"
"Sandy kissed Cloud's cheek. Cloud pulled away from him.
'Touch him someplace else,' Pam told Sandy."
:O
Whaaat? Ponies have wolf teeth? Confused. I'm looking that up.
Lulu: And we can make Cloud a warm mash. We'll make it extra soft and delicious.
That struck me as hilariously funny.
"'Lightning and Cloud are friends forever,' Lulu whispered in Pam's ear. 'Just like us.'"
Even after your fight? And Pam's controlling behavior? And the FLOGGING?
An Avalon about unicorns is next...on Kid's WB. Only it's not the WB anymore. It's my Q2, or whatever.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Lassie! You're home!, or Pony Pals #27: The Pony and the Missing Dog
Guess who's back? You'll have to guess. Fine. After 3 illustrators, Paul Bachem is finally back, and the illustrations are worse than ever. Actually, not true: Paul seems to realize the innacuracy of his drawings and has gotten a lot better. Even Anna's drawings are top rate! It's just the story that sucks....
Plot: Pam is so frustrated with her dog, Woolie. He keeps chasing Lightning and being mischievous (pronounced MISS-chuh-vuss), so she loses her temper and scolds him. On their trail ride, the Pony Pals question her methods, and Pam feels the need to apologize to Woolie.
But she can't.
Because he's GONE.
It seems Woolie has run away. Pam is heartbroken, pulling a Lulu and moaning about how it's all her fault. Lulu, on the other hand, keeps a cool head, and organizes a rescue mission to save/help/find Woolie. It's an odd case of role reversal, folks.
After much searching, Woolie is still nowhere to be found. The Pony Pals enlist the help of Ms. Wiggins and Mike Lacey. The 5 of them split up and search Ms. Wiggins' property. Hark! What's that? A bark? Lightning finds Woolie behind a bush...WITH HIS LEG CAUGHT IN A TRAP!!!! Way to copy #10. As Pam is hyperventilating, Mike appears and saves the day, removing the trap from Woolie's leg. Woolie is good as new and he and Pam make up. BFFs forever. And it turns out Mike has a soul.
More notes:
Aaaargh. "Black and brown" and "reddish brown" do not suffice as pony descriptions. I want breed, height, color, and markings.
How come Jack and Jill are 5 again? Did they go back in time?? They were 6 a few books ago.
Agh, a whole paragraph of choppy writing and repetition.
Oh no, Jack and Jill are convinced they've found Bambi. There's 20 whole pages on how they find an "abandoned" fawn and want to take care of it, but have to release it back into the wild. So boring.
Paul's first drawing is a failure. This is one OBESE fawn, and Woolie looks like a combination Seelyham Terrier and chubby Golden Retriever. When I say "sheepdog", I mean SHEEPDOG!
Oh look, it's Anna riding on some pony! OH! IT'S ACORN! And who's that rider on Snow White? COULD IT BE LULU??? Like we don't know who rides who already.
Lulu: Oh, my. This is a very young fawn.
Way to sound like a grandma, Lulu.
BAM, Lulu shocks the twins with her nature knowledge. Does leave their fawns alone in the forest all the time! DUH! Actually, I didn't know that.
Anna makes fun of Jack. Heh.
Aaagh, Jill is SO ANNOYING. "He's mine. I'm supposed to take care of him. I already love him." And not one exclamation point in that emotional statement.
WHY CAN'T THEY SAY FOAL?? It's always "baby pony", "baby pony", "baby pony".
Ugh, Paul's second drawing makes Pam look like Michael Jackson, Jill like an Oompaloompa, and the fawn like a legless sack of bread with a deer head sticking out of it. I take back what I said about good illustrations.
Lol. "Pam had a big painting of Lightning hanging in her bedroom. It was an Anna Harley original." That just cracked me up for some reason.
If Anna ever mentions those brownies again....
And Paul's pony drawings STILL look like crap.
Wth? Now Woolie looks like an Airdale?
They call Lightning a boy. *crickets*
Oh no, someone is trapping on her land again! Gee, it couldn't be TOMMY, could it? Oh no, it couldn't be, because he got a WARNING.
Mrs. Bell is an idiot. "Gee, I let Woolie out a few hours ago and he hasn't returned. I guess he REALLY had to go!"
Ah yes, the Pony Pals are going out on another adventure without telling their parents. Oh, excuse me, Pam leaves a note.
Yes, Pam, it might be dead, but it wouldn't be your fault; it's stupid Mrs. Bell's.
I'm sure EVERYONE knows what a dog's pawprint looks like. HOW DO YOU MIX THAT UP WITH A RACCOON PAWPRINT???
You weren't mean, Pam. There's a fine line between discipline and abuse.
And Woolie wouldn't be mad at you, because he's a sweet, forgiving dog. (Said Lulu.)
Lightning is a girl again. Wow, two sex changes in one day.
Dang, Lulu gives some good pep talks.
Pam keeps moaning and moaning.
Yeah, I'm sure those posters will be effective.
Missing Dog. Medium sized dog. Golden color. Red collar with I.D. If found, please call 555-4362.
I'm totally calling that number. But they had Anna DRAW a picture instead of putting a photograph. Wha?? And wouldn't it be better to put BREED, and his NAME??? Just wondering.
Yay, the Quinns have returned! You remember those delightful old people from #18, don't you?
Pam is convinced everyone is in love with Pony Pals.
Lol, Pam repeats herself. "Have you seen a small blond sheepdog in the last 24 hours? He has fluffy blond hair and a red collar." I thought he was medium sized.
Oh, the dog Mrs. Quinn saw isn't Woolie because he didn't have a collar. I mean, forget the fact that he acts JUST LIKE Woolie and looks JUST LIKE Woolie. There's no way that collar could've come off.
Lol, Paul makes the Quinns look just like my grandparents.
Lulu = way short.
Apparently Pam goes around kissing people's kittens.
A small tuft of hair could easily be mistaken for a bunny.
The little boy in the picture looks like a little girl. And he has a boy named DOGGIE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH.
Pam makes a little rap. It's kind of funny.
I'm probaby wrong, but I was pretty sure they'd already look on Ms. Wiggins' land.
"We need more people to help search for Woolie." Isn't that why you put up posters?
ANNA DID A GOOD DRAWING! LIKE, REALLY GOOD! AND ACCURATE!!!!!!!!
"Mike Lacey and Tommy Rand were older than the Pony Pals, but acted very immature." Duh, boys mature slower than girls. But then again, when are boys ever mature?
I don't know, Mike's semi-all right and all, but Ms. Wiggins is way too trusting. "Remember when Mike and Tommy set up traps on your land and stole our ponies that one time?" "Oh, but Mike would NEVER do something like that!!"
Oh wait, her exact words are, "But Mike is a different boy when he works for me. You'll see." Btw, Mike's job: What exactly does he do??
Lol.
Lulu: He better behave. Or else.
Yeah, you're like 4'9" and you're in 4th grade. And you're a girl. Not much you can do.
Mike apologizes for calling the Pony Pals "Pony Pests"?
A really good accurate picture of Lightning that actually makes her look like a pony and not a donkey??
THEY SAY POOP!
Yeah, Woolie's leg is caught in a trap, so I doubt his growling has anything to do with you.
Of course, Pam blames him for the traps. Not prejudiced.
Wait, Woolie was in a trap for 24 hours, and his leg isn't broken??? And he hasn't died of dehydration??
The last picture is really good...except for Woolie. But hey. He's getting better.
The Pony Pals tend to repeat themselves. "Thank you. Thank you for helping me find Woolie!"
Agh. I hate that Woolie.
I also hate the library, so I don't know how soon I'm getting any Pony Pals, Madison Finn, Unicorns of Balinor, or Avalon books. I do have Pony Pals #28, so I'll probably do that sometime this week.
Plot: Pam is so frustrated with her dog, Woolie. He keeps chasing Lightning and being mischievous (pronounced MISS-chuh-vuss), so she loses her temper and scolds him. On their trail ride, the Pony Pals question her methods, and Pam feels the need to apologize to Woolie.
But she can't.
Because he's GONE.
It seems Woolie has run away. Pam is heartbroken, pulling a Lulu and moaning about how it's all her fault. Lulu, on the other hand, keeps a cool head, and organizes a rescue mission to save/help/find Woolie. It's an odd case of role reversal, folks.
After much searching, Woolie is still nowhere to be found. The Pony Pals enlist the help of Ms. Wiggins and Mike Lacey. The 5 of them split up and search Ms. Wiggins' property. Hark! What's that? A bark? Lightning finds Woolie behind a bush...WITH HIS LEG CAUGHT IN A TRAP!!!! Way to copy #10. As Pam is hyperventilating, Mike appears and saves the day, removing the trap from Woolie's leg. Woolie is good as new and he and Pam make up. BFFs forever. And it turns out Mike has a soul.
More notes:
Aaaargh. "Black and brown" and "reddish brown" do not suffice as pony descriptions. I want breed, height, color, and markings.
How come Jack and Jill are 5 again? Did they go back in time?? They were 6 a few books ago.
Agh, a whole paragraph of choppy writing and repetition.
Oh no, Jack and Jill are convinced they've found Bambi. There's 20 whole pages on how they find an "abandoned" fawn and want to take care of it, but have to release it back into the wild. So boring.
Paul's first drawing is a failure. This is one OBESE fawn, and Woolie looks like a combination Seelyham Terrier and chubby Golden Retriever. When I say "sheepdog", I mean SHEEPDOG!
Oh look, it's Anna riding on some pony! OH! IT'S ACORN! And who's that rider on Snow White? COULD IT BE LULU??? Like we don't know who rides who already.
Lulu: Oh, my. This is a very young fawn.
Way to sound like a grandma, Lulu.
BAM, Lulu shocks the twins with her nature knowledge. Does leave their fawns alone in the forest all the time! DUH! Actually, I didn't know that.
Anna makes fun of Jack. Heh.
Aaagh, Jill is SO ANNOYING. "He's mine. I'm supposed to take care of him. I already love him." And not one exclamation point in that emotional statement.
WHY CAN'T THEY SAY FOAL?? It's always "baby pony", "baby pony", "baby pony".
Ugh, Paul's second drawing makes Pam look like Michael Jackson, Jill like an Oompaloompa, and the fawn like a legless sack of bread with a deer head sticking out of it. I take back what I said about good illustrations.
Lol. "Pam had a big painting of Lightning hanging in her bedroom. It was an Anna Harley original." That just cracked me up for some reason.
If Anna ever mentions those brownies again....
And Paul's pony drawings STILL look like crap.
Wth? Now Woolie looks like an Airdale?
They call Lightning a boy. *crickets*
Oh no, someone is trapping on her land again! Gee, it couldn't be TOMMY, could it? Oh no, it couldn't be, because he got a WARNING.
Mrs. Bell is an idiot. "Gee, I let Woolie out a few hours ago and he hasn't returned. I guess he REALLY had to go!"
Ah yes, the Pony Pals are going out on another adventure without telling their parents. Oh, excuse me, Pam leaves a note.
Yes, Pam, it might be dead, but it wouldn't be your fault; it's stupid Mrs. Bell's.
I'm sure EVERYONE knows what a dog's pawprint looks like. HOW DO YOU MIX THAT UP WITH A RACCOON PAWPRINT???
You weren't mean, Pam. There's a fine line between discipline and abuse.
And Woolie wouldn't be mad at you, because he's a sweet, forgiving dog. (Said Lulu.)
Lightning is a girl again. Wow, two sex changes in one day.
Dang, Lulu gives some good pep talks.
Pam keeps moaning and moaning.
Yeah, I'm sure those posters will be effective.
Missing Dog. Medium sized dog. Golden color. Red collar with I.D. If found, please call 555-4362.
I'm totally calling that number. But they had Anna DRAW a picture instead of putting a photograph. Wha?? And wouldn't it be better to put BREED, and his NAME??? Just wondering.
Yay, the Quinns have returned! You remember those delightful old people from #18, don't you?
Pam is convinced everyone is in love with Pony Pals.
Lol, Pam repeats herself. "Have you seen a small blond sheepdog in the last 24 hours? He has fluffy blond hair and a red collar." I thought he was medium sized.
Oh, the dog Mrs. Quinn saw isn't Woolie because he didn't have a collar. I mean, forget the fact that he acts JUST LIKE Woolie and looks JUST LIKE Woolie. There's no way that collar could've come off.
Lol, Paul makes the Quinns look just like my grandparents.
Lulu = way short.
Apparently Pam goes around kissing people's kittens.
A small tuft of hair could easily be mistaken for a bunny.
The little boy in the picture looks like a little girl. And he has a boy named DOGGIE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH.
Pam makes a little rap. It's kind of funny.
I'm probaby wrong, but I was pretty sure they'd already look on Ms. Wiggins' land.
"We need more people to help search for Woolie." Isn't that why you put up posters?
ANNA DID A GOOD DRAWING! LIKE, REALLY GOOD! AND ACCURATE!!!!!!!!
"Mike Lacey and Tommy Rand were older than the Pony Pals, but acted very immature." Duh, boys mature slower than girls. But then again, when are boys ever mature?
I don't know, Mike's semi-all right and all, but Ms. Wiggins is way too trusting. "Remember when Mike and Tommy set up traps on your land and stole our ponies that one time?" "Oh, but Mike would NEVER do something like that!!"
Oh wait, her exact words are, "But Mike is a different boy when he works for me. You'll see." Btw, Mike's job: What exactly does he do??
Lol.
Lulu: He better behave. Or else.
Yeah, you're like 4'9" and you're in 4th grade. And you're a girl. Not much you can do.
Mike apologizes for calling the Pony Pals "Pony Pests"?
A really good accurate picture of Lightning that actually makes her look like a pony and not a donkey??
THEY SAY POOP!
Yeah, Woolie's leg is caught in a trap, so I doubt his growling has anything to do with you.
Of course, Pam blames him for the traps. Not prejudiced.
Wait, Woolie was in a trap for 24 hours, and his leg isn't broken??? And he hasn't died of dehydration??
The last picture is really good...except for Woolie. But hey. He's getting better.
The Pony Pals tend to repeat themselves. "Thank you. Thank you for helping me find Woolie!"
Agh. I hate that Woolie.
I also hate the library, so I don't know how soon I'm getting any Pony Pals, Madison Finn, Unicorns of Balinor, or Avalon books. I do have Pony Pals #28, so I'll probably do that sometime this week.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
I got two pickles, hey hey hey, or Pony Pals #24: Unlucky Pony
Aaargh, this book was so sad. Actually, it mostly sucked, but there was one part that seriously brought tears to my eyes. Yeah, Jeanne Betancourt gets a new illustrator, but fires her and gets a new one in the next book!! Then in #27, it's back to Paul Bachem!! Will we ever be free?
Plot: Remember Lucky? The annoying bratty pony with no mother? The one the Pony Pals finally got rid of? Well, he's back, and more spoiled than ever. Aaargh. Eve Greeley, his owner, is putting up with some pretty dangerous behaviors. Her parents want to get rid of him, so the Pony Pals decide to help Eve train Lucky.
Surprise! Lucky is a brat! He even tramples through someone's corn field!
Eve is pretty sad, but is surprisingly mature about the whole thing, and decides to give Lucky to the Pony Pals rather than see him shipped to a new owner. :*(
Yay! The Pony Pals think up a new plan! Lucky can live at the Crandal's for the time being! Lightning will show him who's boss! And Eve can ride Daisy! Yay!
What promised to be a realistic picture of life with ponies is once again disappointing. But hey, what did you expect from Jeanne Betancourt?
More notes:
Nice, Jeanne. Copy the intro of #3.
Pam insinuates that Eve is retarded because she has crappy handwriting.
Surprise! A new illustrator!! Anna looks normal, but Pam looks at least 60 and Lulu looks like a super model. I wonder who the illustrator's favorite character is.
Another example of Pony Pal hypocrisy: Anna and Lulu gallop up to Pam. I thought that was "dangerous".
AAAAAAAAAAGH! This is the worst letter ever. How old is this girl?:
Dear Pony Pals,
It's me. Eve Greeley. [great way to not use a comma or colon] I adopted the baby pony from you. I named him Lucky. You said that was okay. [GET TO THE POINT!]
Lucky is so cute. He is full of energy. All he wants to do is play and kick and run around. He loves treats.
Do you remember Freckles? [Yes, I could never forget that name.] She doesn't want to play with Lucky anymore. [HA!] But Lucky plays with me.
My dad and mom say Lucky is too hard to handle. But I love him. [AAAAAAAGH!] I want to train him, then I can ride him some day. [What? There should definitely be a so in there.]
Can you help me train Lucky? Please? My dad says it is okay. Our telephone number is 354-90000. [That telephone number does not exist. There should only be 3 zeroes. Get your facts straight, Jeanne.] Please help Lucky and me. [LUCKY AND I! LUCKY AND I!]
Your friend,
Eve
P.S. Lucky will be one year old next week.
Way to repeat yourself.
WHY ARE THEY SUDDENLY ON VACATION!!?? Wait a minute! It's been a year since they took care of Lucky. ALL OF THEM ARE STILL TEN YEARS OLD!!! How many summers have passed since then?? THEY'RE FROZEN IN TIME!
Heh. I remember the first time the ponies met Lucky. Acorn and Lightning tried to kill him.
Omg, Jeanne totally worships Lulu in this one. She's all talking about Lulu is soooo saaaaad not to have a mother, so that makes her love baby animals with no mothers. *sob sob sob* Not. :P
I'm really trying to figure out how Snow White could've gotten trapped in that barbed wire.
Continuity error. Anna got Acorn when she was 9, not 10.
Pam spells "cozy" wrong, and Anna puts too much food in Lucky's feed bin. Didn't she freak out when a 6 year old overfed Acorn?
OMG!!! THE GREELEYS GET IN AN ACCIDENT! THE VIOLENCE! THE VIOLENCE!!
But no one is seriously hurt. Lucky has a cut on his leg.
Whatever. This illustrator can't draw black people. Pam looks like a boy with a huge mouth.
Yeah, let the Pony Pals go find Lucky. Smart.
They care more about the station wagon than they do the Greeleys.
LOL, the Pony Pals are friends with a police officer. They haven't been doing time, have they?
Okay, I thought Lucky wasn't badly hurt, but they find enough blood on the ground to fill a horror movie.
OMG, Pam is such a pessimist!! She keeps thinking Lucky will bleed to death!
Bla bla bla, another examples of how ponies are AAAALWAYS right.
BAY AND BROWN ARE NOT THE SAME THING!!!
Aaagh. The guy's mad because the pony's trampling his corn. Give him a break.
LOL!
"'I'll give you five minutes,' the man said. The corners of his mouth turned up in an evil grin. 'And since it's your pony, you're responsible for the damage to my corn crop.'" OMG THAT'S SO CONNIVING AND HILARIOUS! The Pony Pals never have to pay, tho. :P
Pam starts singing "All the Pretty Horses" to lure Lucky towards her. Wth? Is she trying to seduce him?
Yeah, that's right. It's not just a shallow cut on the leg, Dr. Crandal.
The farmer calls her an idiot and questions her methods. LOL it's cracking me up.
Ooookay, this is so not how I pictured Mr. Farmer. He looks like one of the people that heads the Star Wars conventions.
He's right, you know. Isn't this rescue mission making Lucky more spoiled?
Okay, I REALLY hate how the Pony Pals are all calling Lucky spoiled and badly behaved, but Acorn does a lot of these things and it's "cute". Lightning bites people, and she's "sick". Snow White gets sick all the time. Whatever. That's so a cry for attention. I just wish their ponies threw the occasional shoe or seemed at least a little normal.
Eve looks like a Cabbage Patch doll.
IT'S NOT A DEEP CUT???? Then where did all that blood come from????
"That pony should have been named Trouble instead of Lucky." Right. Ha ha. Rolling around on the floor here.
Go Freckles. Knock some sense into that boy.
EWWWW, how creepy does this sound??
"But even if I had time, I'm not that interested in ponies. I prefer little girls. And cats. I like cats."
OMG!!!!! Lock all your doors and windows, children. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR!
Eve totally makes it sound like she's in an abusive relationship rather than having pony trouble.
Lame. They won't let Eve in their club. Wasn't she like 9 in SS1? That's not that much younger. And yet they group her with Mimi and Rosalie. :P
SERIOUSLY, read this. If you didn't know it was about a pony, you would think this was off of Dr. Phil or something.
Anna: What else does he do that he shouldn't?
Eve: He pushes me. Once he stepped on my foot. It hurt.
Anna: If he pushes you, Eve, elbow him. You have to be firm with him.
Lulu: What else does he do that you don't like?
Eve: Sometimes he scares me. I think he's going to kick me. I'm even afraid to brush him.
Lucky's being spoiled isn't all your fault, Eve. It's actually the PONY PALS fault. I love how their not taking responsibility at all.
LAME, Lulu looks like a supermodel in every picture.
AAAAAAAAAAAAGH THEY'RE HAVING SPAGHETTI!!! AGAIN!!
Weren't Jack and Jill 6 a while back? Did they go back in time?
Lame. They watch "Black Beauty" and Eve cries. Way to go.
Eve cries herself to sleep.
Just because Eve loves Lucky doesn't mean she should get to keep him. I loved Howard (the only other dog I've ever had, and I had him for a grand total of three days), but he bit Nathan's face off. Man up, Eve.
NOT EVERYONE LIKES PONIES! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL!
Since when is Lightning Supermom? Didn't she attack Lucky the first time she met him? And wasn't Snow White the one who was all matronly? What's with the Lightning/Lucky BFF thing going on?
Susan Royer Rigby (new illustrator) can draw horses and ponies pretty well...but I miss Vivien Kubbos. She was da bomb, even if she did mix up Lulu and Anna.
Wait, Lucky is a year old? The pictures make him look like a newborn.
LOL, they decide to let Lightning teach Lucky to behave. It totally reminded me of the song "Smack" by Ugly Duckling. SMACK! You needed that, I'LL TEACH YOU HOW TO ACT. LOL cracks me up.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH the worst Anna drawing yet!!! The people in it look like SMURFS!!
Wouldn't throwing a birthday party for Lucky make him MORE spoiled?
WHAT? Pam says Eve won't be able to ride Lucky for years. Um, don't people start riding their horses at age 2?
Lucky attacks Lightning. He's so brave.
Aaargh. Eve is a great rider. I want someone to ride badly and see what happens. Wait. Rema was a bad rider and a snob. I guess the moral of this story is if you can't ride, you're an awful person. I guess this means I would not fit in in Wiggins.
Pam is the biggest pessimist EVER.
If the horse is biting and kicking your mother, HE IS NOT MAKING PROGRESS!!
Ew, an awful drawing of Pam with a really huge face.
Retarded. Lulu is being all sneaky about a present. We never actually find out what it is.
This part is so sad! I felt for Eve. Me and feel probably don't go in the same sentence, but for realz...
Dear Pony Pals,
I have a present for you. It is Lucky. [Okay, this might be sad, but COLONS!!!] I can't take care of him. You will love him and train him. He'll play with your ponies. Please let Lucky be a Pony Pal. [Since you won't let Eve be one. :P]
Your friend,
Eve
Awwwww. This is the first time in Pony Pals history that any character has shown even an ounce of maturity!
And then we see Eve's pitiful drawings of ponies. They're pretty bad and they ruin the mood.
Aaargh. They decide to board Lucky for free. WHAT'S WITH ALL THIS "FOR FREE" STUFF?
They say "yummy".
I've never seen silver sprinkles.
I THOUGHT PONY PAL TRAIL WAS A SECRET!
Lol. They make "Lucky's #1!" jokes.
Retarded. Mr. and Mrs. Greeley go for it.
Aaargh. I just wanted the parents to get rid of Lucky and have the characters actually GROW for a change. But no. No no no no.
OMG!!! I found my ancient (like, 6th grade) end to the Pony Pals. It was written like 10 years after the whole series. Lulu marries Mark, Pam marries some dude, Anna marries Charlie, and Tommy and Mike get trampled in a Winnie the Pooh parade. That was the only part I liked. It was pretty badly written. Anna was all abusive, Pam was in love with herself, and Lulu kept saying, "Omigosh! Acorn! Omigosh!" Aaagh. I love the part about the parade, though. Made my day.
Plot: Remember Lucky? The annoying bratty pony with no mother? The one the Pony Pals finally got rid of? Well, he's back, and more spoiled than ever. Aaargh. Eve Greeley, his owner, is putting up with some pretty dangerous behaviors. Her parents want to get rid of him, so the Pony Pals decide to help Eve train Lucky.
Surprise! Lucky is a brat! He even tramples through someone's corn field!
Eve is pretty sad, but is surprisingly mature about the whole thing, and decides to give Lucky to the Pony Pals rather than see him shipped to a new owner. :*(
Yay! The Pony Pals think up a new plan! Lucky can live at the Crandal's for the time being! Lightning will show him who's boss! And Eve can ride Daisy! Yay!
What promised to be a realistic picture of life with ponies is once again disappointing. But hey, what did you expect from Jeanne Betancourt?
More notes:
Nice, Jeanne. Copy the intro of #3.
Pam insinuates that Eve is retarded because she has crappy handwriting.
Surprise! A new illustrator!! Anna looks normal, but Pam looks at least 60 and Lulu looks like a super model. I wonder who the illustrator's favorite character is.
Another example of Pony Pal hypocrisy: Anna and Lulu gallop up to Pam. I thought that was "dangerous".
AAAAAAAAAAGH! This is the worst letter ever. How old is this girl?:
Dear Pony Pals,
It's me. Eve Greeley. [great way to not use a comma or colon] I adopted the baby pony from you. I named him Lucky. You said that was okay. [GET TO THE POINT!]
Lucky is so cute. He is full of energy. All he wants to do is play and kick and run around. He loves treats.
Do you remember Freckles? [Yes, I could never forget that name.] She doesn't want to play with Lucky anymore. [HA!] But Lucky plays with me.
My dad and mom say Lucky is too hard to handle. But I love him. [AAAAAAAGH!] I want to train him, then I can ride him some day. [What? There should definitely be a so in there.]
Can you help me train Lucky? Please? My dad says it is okay. Our telephone number is 354-90000. [That telephone number does not exist. There should only be 3 zeroes. Get your facts straight, Jeanne.] Please help Lucky and me. [LUCKY AND I! LUCKY AND I!]
Your friend,
Eve
P.S. Lucky will be one year old next week.
Way to repeat yourself.
WHY ARE THEY SUDDENLY ON VACATION!!?? Wait a minute! It's been a year since they took care of Lucky. ALL OF THEM ARE STILL TEN YEARS OLD!!! How many summers have passed since then?? THEY'RE FROZEN IN TIME!
Heh. I remember the first time the ponies met Lucky. Acorn and Lightning tried to kill him.
Omg, Jeanne totally worships Lulu in this one. She's all talking about Lulu is soooo saaaaad not to have a mother, so that makes her love baby animals with no mothers. *sob sob sob* Not. :P
I'm really trying to figure out how Snow White could've gotten trapped in that barbed wire.
Continuity error. Anna got Acorn when she was 9, not 10.
Pam spells "cozy" wrong, and Anna puts too much food in Lucky's feed bin. Didn't she freak out when a 6 year old overfed Acorn?
OMG!!! THE GREELEYS GET IN AN ACCIDENT! THE VIOLENCE! THE VIOLENCE!!
But no one is seriously hurt. Lucky has a cut on his leg.
Whatever. This illustrator can't draw black people. Pam looks like a boy with a huge mouth.
Yeah, let the Pony Pals go find Lucky. Smart.
They care more about the station wagon than they do the Greeleys.
LOL, the Pony Pals are friends with a police officer. They haven't been doing time, have they?
Okay, I thought Lucky wasn't badly hurt, but they find enough blood on the ground to fill a horror movie.
OMG, Pam is such a pessimist!! She keeps thinking Lucky will bleed to death!
Bla bla bla, another examples of how ponies are AAAALWAYS right.
BAY AND BROWN ARE NOT THE SAME THING!!!
Aaagh. The guy's mad because the pony's trampling his corn. Give him a break.
LOL!
"'I'll give you five minutes,' the man said. The corners of his mouth turned up in an evil grin. 'And since it's your pony, you're responsible for the damage to my corn crop.'" OMG THAT'S SO CONNIVING AND HILARIOUS! The Pony Pals never have to pay, tho. :P
Pam starts singing "All the Pretty Horses" to lure Lucky towards her. Wth? Is she trying to seduce him?
Yeah, that's right. It's not just a shallow cut on the leg, Dr. Crandal.
The farmer calls her an idiot and questions her methods. LOL it's cracking me up.
Ooookay, this is so not how I pictured Mr. Farmer. He looks like one of the people that heads the Star Wars conventions.
He's right, you know. Isn't this rescue mission making Lucky more spoiled?
Okay, I REALLY hate how the Pony Pals are all calling Lucky spoiled and badly behaved, but Acorn does a lot of these things and it's "cute". Lightning bites people, and she's "sick". Snow White gets sick all the time. Whatever. That's so a cry for attention. I just wish their ponies threw the occasional shoe or seemed at least a little normal.
Eve looks like a Cabbage Patch doll.
IT'S NOT A DEEP CUT???? Then where did all that blood come from????
"That pony should have been named Trouble instead of Lucky." Right. Ha ha. Rolling around on the floor here.
Go Freckles. Knock some sense into that boy.
EWWWW, how creepy does this sound??
"But even if I had time, I'm not that interested in ponies. I prefer little girls. And cats. I like cats."
OMG!!!!! Lock all your doors and windows, children. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR!
Eve totally makes it sound like she's in an abusive relationship rather than having pony trouble.
Lame. They won't let Eve in their club. Wasn't she like 9 in SS1? That's not that much younger. And yet they group her with Mimi and Rosalie. :P
SERIOUSLY, read this. If you didn't know it was about a pony, you would think this was off of Dr. Phil or something.
Anna: What else does he do that he shouldn't?
Eve: He pushes me. Once he stepped on my foot. It hurt.
Anna: If he pushes you, Eve, elbow him. You have to be firm with him.
Lulu: What else does he do that you don't like?
Eve: Sometimes he scares me. I think he's going to kick me. I'm even afraid to brush him.
Lucky's being spoiled isn't all your fault, Eve. It's actually the PONY PALS fault. I love how their not taking responsibility at all.
LAME, Lulu looks like a supermodel in every picture.
AAAAAAAAAAAAGH THEY'RE HAVING SPAGHETTI!!! AGAIN!!
Weren't Jack and Jill 6 a while back? Did they go back in time?
Lame. They watch "Black Beauty" and Eve cries. Way to go.
Eve cries herself to sleep.
Just because Eve loves Lucky doesn't mean she should get to keep him. I loved Howard (the only other dog I've ever had, and I had him for a grand total of three days), but he bit Nathan's face off. Man up, Eve.
NOT EVERYONE LIKES PONIES! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL!
Since when is Lightning Supermom? Didn't she attack Lucky the first time she met him? And wasn't Snow White the one who was all matronly? What's with the Lightning/Lucky BFF thing going on?
Susan Royer Rigby (new illustrator) can draw horses and ponies pretty well...but I miss Vivien Kubbos. She was da bomb, even if she did mix up Lulu and Anna.
Wait, Lucky is a year old? The pictures make him look like a newborn.
LOL, they decide to let Lightning teach Lucky to behave. It totally reminded me of the song "Smack" by Ugly Duckling. SMACK! You needed that, I'LL TEACH YOU HOW TO ACT. LOL cracks me up.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH the worst Anna drawing yet!!! The people in it look like SMURFS!!
Wouldn't throwing a birthday party for Lucky make him MORE spoiled?
WHAT? Pam says Eve won't be able to ride Lucky for years. Um, don't people start riding their horses at age 2?
Lucky attacks Lightning. He's so brave.
Aaargh. Eve is a great rider. I want someone to ride badly and see what happens. Wait. Rema was a bad rider and a snob. I guess the moral of this story is if you can't ride, you're an awful person. I guess this means I would not fit in in Wiggins.
Pam is the biggest pessimist EVER.
If the horse is biting and kicking your mother, HE IS NOT MAKING PROGRESS!!
Ew, an awful drawing of Pam with a really huge face.
Retarded. Lulu is being all sneaky about a present. We never actually find out what it is.
This part is so sad! I felt for Eve. Me and feel probably don't go in the same sentence, but for realz...
Dear Pony Pals,
I have a present for you. It is Lucky. [Okay, this might be sad, but COLONS!!!] I can't take care of him. You will love him and train him. He'll play with your ponies. Please let Lucky be a Pony Pal. [Since you won't let Eve be one. :P]
Your friend,
Eve
Awwwww. This is the first time in Pony Pals history that any character has shown even an ounce of maturity!
And then we see Eve's pitiful drawings of ponies. They're pretty bad and they ruin the mood.
Aaargh. They decide to board Lucky for free. WHAT'S WITH ALL THIS "FOR FREE" STUFF?
They say "yummy".
I've never seen silver sprinkles.
I THOUGHT PONY PAL TRAIL WAS A SECRET!
Lol. They make "Lucky's #1!" jokes.
Retarded. Mr. and Mrs. Greeley go for it.
Aaargh. I just wanted the parents to get rid of Lucky and have the characters actually GROW for a change. But no. No no no no.
OMG!!! I found my ancient (like, 6th grade) end to the Pony Pals. It was written like 10 years after the whole series. Lulu marries Mark, Pam marries some dude, Anna marries Charlie, and Tommy and Mike get trampled in a Winnie the Pooh parade. That was the only part I liked. It was pretty badly written. Anna was all abusive, Pam was in love with herself, and Lulu kept saying, "Omigosh! Acorn! Omigosh!" Aaagh. I love the part about the parade, though. Made my day.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Because you had a bad day, or Pony Pals #18: The Saddest Pony
This is another book that makes me feel very, very bad for Pam. The Pony Pals are ganging up on her again and again Pam has to apologize for HER bad behavior. I wish she could escape these people. But if you ask me who's my favorite Pony Pal, I'm not sure if I have one. I'd have to say that I can probably tolerate Pam the longest, followed by (surprise!) Anna, then Lulu on the very bottom. I think #16 ruined her character for me. I hope you'll shake your head with me as we read this sad, sad tale.
Plot: Pam is out riding Lightning when she finds a pony in a seemingly abandoned barn. The pony looks very sick and the barn is in terrible condition. Pam tells the Pony Pals and they go back to visit the pony, but are caught by its owners.
Lulu and Anna want to call the police and accuse the owners of animal abuse, but Pam doesn't actually believe the owners are guilty of animal abuse. Lulu and Anna thinks this is stupid and emotionally abuse her for several pages.
Finally, the Pony Pals find out that the old people that own Ginger (the old, sick pony) are really nice and they're just poor, so they don't take of Ginger. But Lulu and Anna don't admit they were wrong and require an apology from Pam. Grrr....
The Pony Pals visit the Quinns (the old people) and offer to take care of Ginger and give them food. They also give the Quinns a cat to replace their old one and have Dr. Crandal give all the animals antibiotics. And everyone is happy.
More notes:
Jeanne Betancourt has learned personification. Actually, she learned that a long time ago, but her usage of it in this book are better.
Another example of people not controlling their ponies.
Anna: Pam, we packed the best lucnh. Ham and cheese sandwiches and, of course, brownies.
You would think they would get tired of brownies. And ham and cheese sandwiches aren't that great. At least not together.
Yeah. Eating lunch in a ghost town. Fun.
I see we have a new illustrator.... The girls actually look their age, but I hate her style. The author's, that is.
Say what? The Crandals own three ponies (Lightning, Splash, Daisy) and board several horses. Who are those several? Is Paint one of them?
Isn't it wrong to spy on people? They should at least use a different word than "spy".
"Ginger. Ginger. You are a bad old girl." That makes me laugh. No idea why.
Why is she inspecting Ginger's hoof? She only inspects one hoof. I would understand it if she did all four, but only one? Don't see the point of this.
Anna's drawings have gotten even worse because of the new illustrator. I miss Paul Bachem.
OMG, ANNA SAID "POOP"! HALLELUJAH!!
Do the police actually handle animal abuse charges? I didn't think they did. Maybe I'm wrong.
They need more evidence, Pam says. She just disagreed with the Pony Pals. Bring on the manipulation and emotional abuse.
"It's two against one. You have to do what Lulu and I want." Shut up, Anna.
What a mature response: "I know more about ponies than you do. You have to do what I want."
Pam says, "Let's go," and Anna thinks she's being bossy. Shut up, whore.
Anna's just being a brat. HATE HATE HATE. She and Lulu are pretty even on the annoyance scale now.
Gee, something couldn't be wrong with Ginger's teeth to make her not want to eat, could there?
Who would want to steal an old sick pony?
Oh, right, Pam, run away. That's pretty much a confession right there.
"They're horrible. That's why they abuse Ginger."
"He was pointing a gun at you. He wanted to shoot you."
1. They're poor and old, not horrible.
2. IT WAS A FREAKING CANE! How do you mistake a cane for a gun????
Lulu: Pam, why don't you want to tell the police about Ginger's owners?
Pam: We dont' know anything about that old couple. THey might need help, too.
This is the closest Anna and Lulu get to apologizing.
Anna: Maybe you're right.
Lulu: We don't even know their names. There's a lot we don't know about them.
That sounded like Lulu was blaming Anna. Now for the unnecessary apology.
Pam: I'm sorry I was so bossy.
Anna: I hate it when you act like that.
YOU LITTLE HYPOCRITE!!!
Pam: I know. I hate it, too.
Anna: We forgive you.
Ho.
Why, Pam?
Richard and Gertrude Quinn. Have lived on farm for seventy years.
Why not just make it a complete sentence??
My grandma's name is Shirley.
They had a black cat. Just like Shadow.
HOLY CRAP! Ginger used to pull a milk cart 30 years ago. How old is she, then???
All of a sudden Lulu is opposed to spying. Gee, you weren't opposed to it when you spied on Kim, much less 20 pages ago.
Duh. They're old. They yell because they can't hear.
The dog's name is Snappy. Heh. That's what Bob said about Oggy. That really makes me want a dog named Snappy.
They Pony Pals are even controlling Pam's breakfast choices?
Lulu: We both want orange juice and French toast. What about you?
Don't follow the crowd, Pam....
Pam: I'll have the same thing.
Aargh.
Oh my goodness. A very horrible drawing that Anna is supposed to have done. It's worse than her previous drawings.
I didn't know social workers helped old people.
Oh no, a moving story about Mrs. Harley's childhood. The Quinns gave her free milk and eggs.
Again, why would they want to steal Ginger, who is really old, has arthritis, and overlong teeth?
Aw, a picture of the Quinns. They're so adorable.
Violet Croft? That's Anna's grandma's name. That's a horrible name.
Wonder if she was related to Lara Croft....
They spell thank you "thankyou". Who edited this book??
Toby is not a cat name. I KNEW THE DEAD CAT WAS THE REASON FOR ALL THE SADNESS!!!
Duh. I told you her teeth were too long.
The Crandals have a palomino thoroughbred named J.B. Such a lie.
Ginger is 35. Daaang.
MR. CONWAY IS BACK! THE CREEPY GUY WHO TOLD GHOST STORIES FROM SUPER SPECIAL #3!
Ew, they wish upon a star.
I want Meals on Wheels. Pasta every night.
I find it weird that they consider Shadow Acorn's cat.
Anna is being way annoying and pessimistic.
Ew, Acorn is being creepy with Shadow.
Ginger isn't sad because she has arthritis and orthodontial problems. She just misses her kitty friend. Right.
So they decide to give away Fat Cat's last kitten. HOW IS HE STILL A KITTEN, at least 20 summers have passed since that incident. Maybe he is frozen in time, too.
Pam is having second thoughts about this. Just give them Fat Cat, no one likes her anyway. Keep Pal for yourself if you like him so much.
Ponies aren't often frightened by the meowing of cats.
Apparently everyone who's ever lived is somehow connected to the Quinns. Even people in real life are somehow connected to two fictional old people in a children's book.
OMG, PAL IS SO ADORABLE!
Heh. Ginger likes pain meds.
That was awful. The more I think about it, I think the Pony Pals are a cult. Because they're exclusive, secretive, and no one questions the leadership.
I need to read the three steps of identifying a cult again. Party on.
I HATE ANNA.
Plot: Pam is out riding Lightning when she finds a pony in a seemingly abandoned barn. The pony looks very sick and the barn is in terrible condition. Pam tells the Pony Pals and they go back to visit the pony, but are caught by its owners.
Lulu and Anna want to call the police and accuse the owners of animal abuse, but Pam doesn't actually believe the owners are guilty of animal abuse. Lulu and Anna thinks this is stupid and emotionally abuse her for several pages.
Finally, the Pony Pals find out that the old people that own Ginger (the old, sick pony) are really nice and they're just poor, so they don't take of Ginger. But Lulu and Anna don't admit they were wrong and require an apology from Pam. Grrr....
The Pony Pals visit the Quinns (the old people) and offer to take care of Ginger and give them food. They also give the Quinns a cat to replace their old one and have Dr. Crandal give all the animals antibiotics. And everyone is happy.
More notes:
Jeanne Betancourt has learned personification. Actually, she learned that a long time ago, but her usage of it in this book are better.
Another example of people not controlling their ponies.
Anna: Pam, we packed the best lucnh. Ham and cheese sandwiches and, of course, brownies.
You would think they would get tired of brownies. And ham and cheese sandwiches aren't that great. At least not together.
Yeah. Eating lunch in a ghost town. Fun.
I see we have a new illustrator.... The girls actually look their age, but I hate her style. The author's, that is.
Say what? The Crandals own three ponies (Lightning, Splash, Daisy) and board several horses. Who are those several? Is Paint one of them?
Isn't it wrong to spy on people? They should at least use a different word than "spy".
"Ginger. Ginger. You are a bad old girl." That makes me laugh. No idea why.
Why is she inspecting Ginger's hoof? She only inspects one hoof. I would understand it if she did all four, but only one? Don't see the point of this.
Anna's drawings have gotten even worse because of the new illustrator. I miss Paul Bachem.
OMG, ANNA SAID "POOP"! HALLELUJAH!!
Do the police actually handle animal abuse charges? I didn't think they did. Maybe I'm wrong.
They need more evidence, Pam says. She just disagreed with the Pony Pals. Bring on the manipulation and emotional abuse.
"It's two against one. You have to do what Lulu and I want." Shut up, Anna.
What a mature response: "I know more about ponies than you do. You have to do what I want."
Pam says, "Let's go," and Anna thinks she's being bossy. Shut up, whore.
Anna's just being a brat. HATE HATE HATE. She and Lulu are pretty even on the annoyance scale now.
Gee, something couldn't be wrong with Ginger's teeth to make her not want to eat, could there?
Who would want to steal an old sick pony?
Oh, right, Pam, run away. That's pretty much a confession right there.
"They're horrible. That's why they abuse Ginger."
"He was pointing a gun at you. He wanted to shoot you."
1. They're poor and old, not horrible.
2. IT WAS A FREAKING CANE! How do you mistake a cane for a gun????
Lulu: Pam, why don't you want to tell the police about Ginger's owners?
Pam: We dont' know anything about that old couple. THey might need help, too.
This is the closest Anna and Lulu get to apologizing.
Anna: Maybe you're right.
Lulu: We don't even know their names. There's a lot we don't know about them.
That sounded like Lulu was blaming Anna. Now for the unnecessary apology.
Pam: I'm sorry I was so bossy.
Anna: I hate it when you act like that.
YOU LITTLE HYPOCRITE!!!
Pam: I know. I hate it, too.
Anna: We forgive you.
Ho.
Why, Pam?
Richard and Gertrude Quinn. Have lived on farm for seventy years.
Why not just make it a complete sentence??
My grandma's name is Shirley.
They had a black cat. Just like Shadow.
HOLY CRAP! Ginger used to pull a milk cart 30 years ago. How old is she, then???
All of a sudden Lulu is opposed to spying. Gee, you weren't opposed to it when you spied on Kim, much less 20 pages ago.
Duh. They're old. They yell because they can't hear.
The dog's name is Snappy. Heh. That's what Bob said about Oggy. That really makes me want a dog named Snappy.
They Pony Pals are even controlling Pam's breakfast choices?
Lulu: We both want orange juice and French toast. What about you?
Don't follow the crowd, Pam....
Pam: I'll have the same thing.
Aargh.
Oh my goodness. A very horrible drawing that Anna is supposed to have done. It's worse than her previous drawings.
I didn't know social workers helped old people.
Oh no, a moving story about Mrs. Harley's childhood. The Quinns gave her free milk and eggs.
Again, why would they want to steal Ginger, who is really old, has arthritis, and overlong teeth?
Aw, a picture of the Quinns. They're so adorable.
Violet Croft? That's Anna's grandma's name. That's a horrible name.
Wonder if she was related to Lara Croft....
They spell thank you "thankyou". Who edited this book??
Toby is not a cat name. I KNEW THE DEAD CAT WAS THE REASON FOR ALL THE SADNESS!!!
Duh. I told you her teeth were too long.
The Crandals have a palomino thoroughbred named J.B. Such a lie.
Ginger is 35. Daaang.
MR. CONWAY IS BACK! THE CREEPY GUY WHO TOLD GHOST STORIES FROM SUPER SPECIAL #3!
Ew, they wish upon a star.
I want Meals on Wheels. Pasta every night.
I find it weird that they consider Shadow Acorn's cat.
Anna is being way annoying and pessimistic.
Ew, Acorn is being creepy with Shadow.
Ginger isn't sad because she has arthritis and orthodontial problems. She just misses her kitty friend. Right.
So they decide to give away Fat Cat's last kitten. HOW IS HE STILL A KITTEN, at least 20 summers have passed since that incident. Maybe he is frozen in time, too.
Pam is having second thoughts about this. Just give them Fat Cat, no one likes her anyway. Keep Pal for yourself if you like him so much.
Ponies aren't often frightened by the meowing of cats.
Apparently everyone who's ever lived is somehow connected to the Quinns. Even people in real life are somehow connected to two fictional old people in a children's book.
OMG, PAL IS SO ADORABLE!
Heh. Ginger likes pain meds.
That was awful. The more I think about it, I think the Pony Pals are a cult. Because they're exclusive, secretive, and no one questions the leadership.
I need to read the three steps of identifying a cult again. Party on.
I HATE ANNA.
YOU'VE ANGERED THE DEMONS, or Super Special #3: Pony Pals: The Ghost Pony
What is with Jeanne Betancourt and Super Specials? I'm not seeing a pattern as to when these Super Specials are supposed to come out. Maybe she just writes them when she gets bored? Lol, I just saw a noose in the shape of a heart. Not morbid at all.
Plot: The Pony Pals are digging around in Morristown, a ghost town. While they're there, they hear mysterious noises that scare their ponies! Gasp! Could it be a ghost?
Then a bunch of people start telling the Pony Pals ghost stories and they pee their pants.
But while at the Historical Society, they find a story about a girl named Emily from 1870. Emily was their age and even had a pony! How...nice. They read a stupid newspaper story about how Emily got trapped on a mountain and her pony Angel died to save her. Now they're convinced the ghostie they heard in Morristown was really Angel, but she's a nice ghost. They're not scared anymore.
Then they read Emily's diary, dig up Angel's grave, make her a new headstone, and participate in the Wiggins Historical Fair. Then they give this stupid moving tribute to Angel. Seriously. That was it.
More notes:
Since when do you need string to play with tops??
Aaargh, Anna believes in ghosts.
I believe in demons. But I don't believe there are demons in Morristown.
Wth, Snow White looks like a palomino...
Heh. Anna thought she saw a ghost in her bedroom when she was 5. Now she's afraid of them.
Pam is so annoying in this one. "That wasn't a ghostly noise. That was the wind." That's what they said in "The Secret Garden" and it turned out to be a crazy crippled boy.
So lame. The noises they hear sound like, "Oh-oo-oo, oh-oo-oo." How are you even supposed to pronounced that? Sounds like a bad pop song.
Sure, Pam. An owl made that noise. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY.
ANNA AND LULU ARE HOLDING HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lulu listens to tape recordings of owls all the time, so she knows it wasn't an owl noise. Wow.
They hear a whinny. GHOST PONY!!!
Yes Pam, we know there are no such things as ghosts.
IT WAS NOT THE WIND WHISTLING THROUGH THE TREES! AAAAAGH! SHUT UP!
Oh, it couldn't have been Tommy and Mike. They're in Washington, D.C. I thought Mike was poor.
A ghost town does not actually refer to ghosts.
OMG THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A MORGAN PONY! MORGANS ARE FREAKING HORSES!
Duh, Morgans are known for pulling heavy loads. Ever heard of Justin Morgan?
Angel tried to wake Emily up with nudges and hot breath. Sorry. That just sounds way funny.
How did Angel die? She was injured, but not that injured. And they did not use the phrase "put down" in 1870. Anachronistic.
SO LAME: May Angel rest in peace. She is, indeed, an Angel.
What? Why would you capitalize Angel if it's not her name in the last part? So dumb.
Yes, people tend to be sad when their animals DIE.
Mr. Conway doesn't want to talk to three 10-year-old girls. What a surprise.
Lame. He believes in ghosts. And was confronted by the ghost pony. *gag*
He also believes in the crying baby ghost. And the ghost of Mr. Warner, who trips you with his chains!!
I don't think Mr. Warner will trip your ponies. BECAUSE HE ISN'T REAL.
Yeah, riding at night, not a smart plan anyway.
Now Pam believes in ghosts.
He can't speak for the ghosts. Heh. This old man is so mean it's funny.
I wasn't sure if they had metal charm bracelets in 1870.
SHE'S DEAD, Pam. I think it's okay to read her stupid diary.
I hate people who write in their diary like it's a real person. That's why I could read "The Diary of Anne Frank".
I bet Lucy, Meg, and Emily are reincarnations of the Pony Pals.
Emily = Lulu. There's the whole "I killed my pony" guilt thing going on.
Lucy = Pam. They live farther away than the other two.
Meg = Anna. Cuz she has a mischevious pony.
Lame New year's resolutions.
Aw, read this poem.
Here lies Emily's Angel
She was a true, brave friend
May she be remembered always
It's like a bad attempt at a haiku.
PLEASE don't let the Pony Pals write something for the fair.
Aren't you supposed to be controlling Acorn, not the other way around?
They find a piece of slate that says "Ed always", and they think it can't be Angel's because it says "Ed" on it. "Ed always"? THAT MAKES NO SENSE!
Oh, duh, it's from "remembered always"!
Why does Mrs. Crandal just happen to have a big piece of slate in her garage.
Lame. Pony Pals are pretending to be from the "olden days".
And they write a horrible piece on 1870.
Creepy. They hold a seance-type grave digging thingy.
Plot: The Pony Pals are digging around in Morristown, a ghost town. While they're there, they hear mysterious noises that scare their ponies! Gasp! Could it be a ghost?
Then a bunch of people start telling the Pony Pals ghost stories and they pee their pants.
But while at the Historical Society, they find a story about a girl named Emily from 1870. Emily was their age and even had a pony! How...nice. They read a stupid newspaper story about how Emily got trapped on a mountain and her pony Angel died to save her. Now they're convinced the ghostie they heard in Morristown was really Angel, but she's a nice ghost. They're not scared anymore.
Then they read Emily's diary, dig up Angel's grave, make her a new headstone, and participate in the Wiggins Historical Fair. Then they give this stupid moving tribute to Angel. Seriously. That was it.
More notes:
Since when do you need string to play with tops??
Aaargh, Anna believes in ghosts.
I believe in demons. But I don't believe there are demons in Morristown.
Wth, Snow White looks like a palomino...
Heh. Anna thought she saw a ghost in her bedroom when she was 5. Now she's afraid of them.
Pam is so annoying in this one. "That wasn't a ghostly noise. That was the wind." That's what they said in "The Secret Garden" and it turned out to be a crazy crippled boy.
So lame. The noises they hear sound like, "Oh-oo-oo, oh-oo-oo." How are you even supposed to pronounced that? Sounds like a bad pop song.
Sure, Pam. An owl made that noise. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY.
ANNA AND LULU ARE HOLDING HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lulu listens to tape recordings of owls all the time, so she knows it wasn't an owl noise. Wow.
They hear a whinny. GHOST PONY!!!
Yes Pam, we know there are no such things as ghosts.
IT WAS NOT THE WIND WHISTLING THROUGH THE TREES! AAAAAGH! SHUT UP!
Oh, it couldn't have been Tommy and Mike. They're in Washington, D.C. I thought Mike was poor.
A ghost town does not actually refer to ghosts.
OMG THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A MORGAN PONY! MORGANS ARE FREAKING HORSES!
Duh, Morgans are known for pulling heavy loads. Ever heard of Justin Morgan?
Angel tried to wake Emily up with nudges and hot breath. Sorry. That just sounds way funny.
How did Angel die? She was injured, but not that injured. And they did not use the phrase "put down" in 1870. Anachronistic.
SO LAME: May Angel rest in peace. She is, indeed, an Angel.
What? Why would you capitalize Angel if it's not her name in the last part? So dumb.
Yes, people tend to be sad when their animals DIE.
Mr. Conway doesn't want to talk to three 10-year-old girls. What a surprise.
Lame. He believes in ghosts. And was confronted by the ghost pony. *gag*
He also believes in the crying baby ghost. And the ghost of Mr. Warner, who trips you with his chains!!
I don't think Mr. Warner will trip your ponies. BECAUSE HE ISN'T REAL.
Yeah, riding at night, not a smart plan anyway.
Now Pam believes in ghosts.
He can't speak for the ghosts. Heh. This old man is so mean it's funny.
I wasn't sure if they had metal charm bracelets in 1870.
SHE'S DEAD, Pam. I think it's okay to read her stupid diary.
I hate people who write in their diary like it's a real person. That's why I could read "The Diary of Anne Frank".
I bet Lucy, Meg, and Emily are reincarnations of the Pony Pals.
Emily = Lulu. There's the whole "I killed my pony" guilt thing going on.
Lucy = Pam. They live farther away than the other two.
Meg = Anna. Cuz she has a mischevious pony.
Lame New year's resolutions.
Aw, read this poem.
Here lies Emily's Angel
She was a true, brave friend
May she be remembered always
It's like a bad attempt at a haiku.
PLEASE don't let the Pony Pals write something for the fair.
Aren't you supposed to be controlling Acorn, not the other way around?
They find a piece of slate that says "Ed always", and they think it can't be Angel's because it says "Ed" on it. "Ed always"? THAT MAKES NO SENSE!
Oh, duh, it's from "remembered always"!
Why does Mrs. Crandal just happen to have a big piece of slate in her garage.
Lame. Pony Pals are pretending to be from the "olden days".
And they write a horrible piece on 1870.
Creepy. They hold a seance-type grave digging thingy.
Friday, October 5, 2007
Who put that tree there?, or Pony Pals #15: The Blind Pony
Looking at the title, I REALLY wonder what this book could be about. I mean, a blind pony is definitely out of the question. And on the cover we have a very adorable pony tripping over its feet while Pam watches on with a shocked expression on her face. Lightning looks exactly the same as she did on the last cover. Dandy's back is way smaller than it should be. I don't think it can support him. Paul Bachem = worst illustrator ever.
Plot: Mrs. Baxter sells more property, because she can, and another old couple move into Wiggins! Their granddaughter Kim is visiting them for the summer and she's the Pony Pals age and she owns a pony, so she must be Mother Theresa. The Pony Pals try to become friends with her, but Kim is not very friendly and doesn't want the Pony Pals to mess with her pony.
After much investigation (like 2 hours worth), Pam finds out a shocking secret: Dandy, Kim's pony, is BLIND!!!
For some reason, Kim hasn't told anyone about this interesting development, and so far no one has noticed??? I think they would notice if the pony bumps into walls. But I digress. Now Kim is forcing Pam to keep her secret.
But the other Pony Pals find out. They always do. But they also decide to keep Kim's secret.
There is a bunch of secret keeping and frienship and doctoring (Mr. Crandal discovers Dandy's eyesight can't be restored; big whoop), and then they all decide to train Dandy to let Kim be his eyes.
Surprise! Kim's parents come earlier than expected with a new riding instructor and are shocked to find about Dandy's not so stellar (or lack of) vision. But the Pony Pals save the day and show that people/ponies with disabilities are worth everyone's time. Yeah, no heavy message there. Not like I think disabled people are worthless, but I don't use ponies as an allegory to support them. Moving on.
More notes:
Mrs. Baxter: *bla bla bla about the Wright family* Her name is Kim Wright.
Pam: I bet you want us to be friends with Kim.
Mrs. Baxter: You guessed it. I told her all about the Pony Pals. Kim is your age. But there's something else she has in common with you.
Pam: She has a pony?!
I can't wait for the day Pam is wrong, and Mrs. Baxter says, "No, actually, she's black."
An AWFUL picture of Lightning: Her head is bigger than her entire body and her legs are too thin. And Pam looks like Rudy from "The Cosby Show".
So what, she doesn't ride her pony over? Not that strange. Actually, yeah, you could ride a blind pony just as easily as a nonblind pony.
DANDY! Best pony name ever, right up there with Acorn, Tongo, Mushroom, and Bubble.
Ballin. Kim is studying French over the summer. Lucky.
There goes Anna with her snob business again. She really needs a new perspective.
They act like Kim is such a jerk. Maybe she's just shy. Or she doesn't like you.
Oh no, Kim won't let Dandy interact with Lightning!! Wait, is this the same Lightning that frequently bites people? I wonder why she's so afraid of her....
SHE JUST WANTS TO GO LAST! WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT???
Dandy bumps into a tree. Lol.
Lulu and Anna are being all mean to Kim, and then blame her for a bad time.
Um, Kim, Dandy doesn't speak English, so telling him, "There's a turn coming up," might not be that helpful.
Ha. Grandma manipulation.
Why is it weird to lead your horse into a stall?
DANDY IS HUGE IN ONE PICTURE! At least 16 hands. Um, pony?
Ugh, fluff on feelings and loving ponies and personality.
Why do we need to know how many jokes Pam told?
Dandy runs into a doorway.
Pam is all spazzing out because she can't tell her Pony Pals! Like she tells them everything. Sorry, but there are some things I wouldn't want to know unless you needed to borrow a tampon or something.
I've had friends leave a sleepover while everyone else is sleeping. It's not that weird.
Ooh, they're going to spy on Kim! How mature.
Lulu and Anna are nodding sadly. I nodded sadly for about ten minutes after reading this. It's way fun.
Yeah, another instance where they're suddenly all nice after being such hos before and no apology is necessary.
Yeah, why IS Dandy's blindness a secret? You can still ride a blind horse. And possibly show. There was that whole book on the blind dog that did agility contests. Sure, he did them really SLOW, but.... Agh, that was a sad book. I'm going to cry.
It was called "The Soul of the Silver Dog", if you want to know.
Another book about parent expectation. But Kim doesn't want to ride in a horse show! She just wants to speak French! What is this, "High School Musical"?
OMG, Kim apologized. And they didn't. Jerks.
Two sleepovers in a row? What?
WHY WOULD YOU PUT A BLIND ANIMAL TO SLEEP? YOU DON'T PUT BLIND PEOPLE TO SLEEP!
Lulu actually wrote a complete sentence for once.
THOSE DANG KITTENS AGAIN! They reference "Too Many Ponies" every chance they get. SO ANNOYING.
It takes Dr. Crandal forever to figure out Dandy is blind. "Well girls, he is definitely blind." Yeah. Like we didn't know that.
This is suddenly all medical drama-y. "Can you cure him, Doctor?"
Kim is such a nerd. She studies all the time.
Dandy looks like he's going to fall on his face in one picture. He's all about to trip.
Yes, screaming, "UP!" at him really does work.
All this diner talk makes me want a chocolate milkshake. And not the crappy kind I make with a spoon.
Why is it funny that Pam sounds just like her mother? Her mother's really mean.
OMG, MRS. CRANDAL REMINDS ME OF CLAIR HUXTABLE!!!
I'd want my daughter to have a blind pony. Actually, it would be preferable not to have one in the first place, but I wouldn't make her get rid of it.
Ugh, chapter nine is titled, "The Wrights are Wrong."
I can speak French, too! I know what tres bien means!
Mr. Wright looks like Richard Gere. And Mrs. Wright is blonde. And they look apalled. Kim is all, "Why me?"
Mr. Wright: Blind!
Mrs. Wright: What do you mean?
I mean he CAN'T SEE.
So lame.
Mr. Wright: What's anyone supposed to do with a blind pony?
Pam: Take care of him.
Lulu: Be his friend.
Anna: And love him.
Heh. Dr. Crandal's name is Robert.
Why do all the married women in this series insist on keeping their maiden name? "I'm Laura Thompson Wright." "I'm Cynthia Prindle Stewart."
Pam rubs Lightning's upside-down heart for luck. That's so Saddle Club-y.
Lol I totally pictured Kim's parents being all "Anchorman".
"You rode a blind pony? That's amazing! I'm not even mad."
It's not that hard to keep your grades up and ride at the same time.
Kim is sad that she has to leave Wiggins. DON'T BE!
Omg, there's this contest entry form in the back of the book that I filled out when I was like, I don't know, 8. It's in crappy cursive and I used a fake name.
1) What is Anna's pony's name?
Acorn.
2) What do the Pony Pals call their riding trail?
Pony Pal Trail
3) On whose estate do the Pony Pals often ride their ponies?
Mrs. Wiggins estate (yes, I realize she is single and her name is Ms.)
4) What kind of pony is Lulu's pony, Snow White?
A Welsh Pony
Circle one: girl
Name: Karen halls (lies)
Birth date: 2/17/94 (lies)
City: Venice
State: California (wtf?)
I was a WEIRD kid when I was little. I remember really hating the name Lauren and I'd always want to change it to Kristen, Karen, Candace, or some crappy K name. I like Anastasia for a long time, too. Soooooo cool. Not.
Yeah, if I had won that contest, I would've received 6 months of free riding lessons. Darn.
Well, the deadline was 1997 and I filled this out 2001ish. My grandma gave me this book. Lol. Cool beans.
I really wish I had "Circus Pony", but that will most likely never happen. Ugh, so not excited about "The Missing Pony Pal" now, because it's about a stupid gymkhana accident and Snow White gets hurt and is all wimpy and the illustrations show Anna as being taller than Pam. What??? I'll go do homework or something now.
Plot: Mrs. Baxter sells more property, because she can, and another old couple move into Wiggins! Their granddaughter Kim is visiting them for the summer and she's the Pony Pals age and she owns a pony, so she must be Mother Theresa. The Pony Pals try to become friends with her, but Kim is not very friendly and doesn't want the Pony Pals to mess with her pony.
After much investigation (like 2 hours worth), Pam finds out a shocking secret: Dandy, Kim's pony, is BLIND!!!
For some reason, Kim hasn't told anyone about this interesting development, and so far no one has noticed??? I think they would notice if the pony bumps into walls. But I digress. Now Kim is forcing Pam to keep her secret.
But the other Pony Pals find out. They always do. But they also decide to keep Kim's secret.
There is a bunch of secret keeping and frienship and doctoring (Mr. Crandal discovers Dandy's eyesight can't be restored; big whoop), and then they all decide to train Dandy to let Kim be his eyes.
Surprise! Kim's parents come earlier than expected with a new riding instructor and are shocked to find about Dandy's not so stellar (or lack of) vision. But the Pony Pals save the day and show that people/ponies with disabilities are worth everyone's time. Yeah, no heavy message there. Not like I think disabled people are worthless, but I don't use ponies as an allegory to support them. Moving on.
More notes:
Mrs. Baxter: *bla bla bla about the Wright family* Her name is Kim Wright.
Pam: I bet you want us to be friends with Kim.
Mrs. Baxter: You guessed it. I told her all about the Pony Pals. Kim is your age. But there's something else she has in common with you.
Pam: She has a pony?!
I can't wait for the day Pam is wrong, and Mrs. Baxter says, "No, actually, she's black."
An AWFUL picture of Lightning: Her head is bigger than her entire body and her legs are too thin. And Pam looks like Rudy from "The Cosby Show".
So what, she doesn't ride her pony over? Not that strange. Actually, yeah, you could ride a blind pony just as easily as a nonblind pony.
DANDY! Best pony name ever, right up there with Acorn, Tongo, Mushroom, and Bubble.
Ballin. Kim is studying French over the summer. Lucky.
There goes Anna with her snob business again. She really needs a new perspective.
They act like Kim is such a jerk. Maybe she's just shy. Or she doesn't like you.
Oh no, Kim won't let Dandy interact with Lightning!! Wait, is this the same Lightning that frequently bites people? I wonder why she's so afraid of her....
SHE JUST WANTS TO GO LAST! WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT???
Dandy bumps into a tree. Lol.
Lulu and Anna are being all mean to Kim, and then blame her for a bad time.
Um, Kim, Dandy doesn't speak English, so telling him, "There's a turn coming up," might not be that helpful.
Ha. Grandma manipulation.
Why is it weird to lead your horse into a stall?
DANDY IS HUGE IN ONE PICTURE! At least 16 hands. Um, pony?
Ugh, fluff on feelings and loving ponies and personality.
Why do we need to know how many jokes Pam told?
Dandy runs into a doorway.
Pam is all spazzing out because she can't tell her Pony Pals! Like she tells them everything. Sorry, but there are some things I wouldn't want to know unless you needed to borrow a tampon or something.
I've had friends leave a sleepover while everyone else is sleeping. It's not that weird.
Ooh, they're going to spy on Kim! How mature.
Lulu and Anna are nodding sadly. I nodded sadly for about ten minutes after reading this. It's way fun.
Yeah, another instance where they're suddenly all nice after being such hos before and no apology is necessary.
Yeah, why IS Dandy's blindness a secret? You can still ride a blind horse. And possibly show. There was that whole book on the blind dog that did agility contests. Sure, he did them really SLOW, but.... Agh, that was a sad book. I'm going to cry.
It was called "The Soul of the Silver Dog", if you want to know.
Another book about parent expectation. But Kim doesn't want to ride in a horse show! She just wants to speak French! What is this, "High School Musical"?
OMG, Kim apologized. And they didn't. Jerks.
Two sleepovers in a row? What?
WHY WOULD YOU PUT A BLIND ANIMAL TO SLEEP? YOU DON'T PUT BLIND PEOPLE TO SLEEP!
Lulu actually wrote a complete sentence for once.
THOSE DANG KITTENS AGAIN! They reference "Too Many Ponies" every chance they get. SO ANNOYING.
It takes Dr. Crandal forever to figure out Dandy is blind. "Well girls, he is definitely blind." Yeah. Like we didn't know that.
This is suddenly all medical drama-y. "Can you cure him, Doctor?"
Kim is such a nerd. She studies all the time.
Dandy looks like he's going to fall on his face in one picture. He's all about to trip.
Yes, screaming, "UP!" at him really does work.
All this diner talk makes me want a chocolate milkshake. And not the crappy kind I make with a spoon.
Why is it funny that Pam sounds just like her mother? Her mother's really mean.
OMG, MRS. CRANDAL REMINDS ME OF CLAIR HUXTABLE!!!
I'd want my daughter to have a blind pony. Actually, it would be preferable not to have one in the first place, but I wouldn't make her get rid of it.
Ugh, chapter nine is titled, "The Wrights are Wrong."
I can speak French, too! I know what tres bien means!
Mr. Wright looks like Richard Gere. And Mrs. Wright is blonde. And they look apalled. Kim is all, "Why me?"
Mr. Wright: Blind!
Mrs. Wright: What do you mean?
I mean he CAN'T SEE.
So lame.
Mr. Wright: What's anyone supposed to do with a blind pony?
Pam: Take care of him.
Lulu: Be his friend.
Anna: And love him.
Heh. Dr. Crandal's name is Robert.
Why do all the married women in this series insist on keeping their maiden name? "I'm Laura Thompson Wright." "I'm Cynthia Prindle Stewart."
Pam rubs Lightning's upside-down heart for luck. That's so Saddle Club-y.
Lol I totally pictured Kim's parents being all "Anchorman".
"You rode a blind pony? That's amazing! I'm not even mad."
It's not that hard to keep your grades up and ride at the same time.
Kim is sad that she has to leave Wiggins. DON'T BE!
Omg, there's this contest entry form in the back of the book that I filled out when I was like, I don't know, 8. It's in crappy cursive and I used a fake name.
1) What is Anna's pony's name?
Acorn.
2) What do the Pony Pals call their riding trail?
Pony Pal Trail
3) On whose estate do the Pony Pals often ride their ponies?
Mrs. Wiggins estate (yes, I realize she is single and her name is Ms.)
4) What kind of pony is Lulu's pony, Snow White?
A Welsh Pony
Circle one: girl
Name: Karen halls (lies)
Birth date: 2/17/94 (lies)
City: Venice
State: California (wtf?)
I was a WEIRD kid when I was little. I remember really hating the name Lauren and I'd always want to change it to Kristen, Karen, Candace, or some crappy K name. I like Anastasia for a long time, too. Soooooo cool. Not.
Yeah, if I had won that contest, I would've received 6 months of free riding lessons. Darn.
Well, the deadline was 1997 and I filled this out 2001ish. My grandma gave me this book. Lol. Cool beans.
I really wish I had "Circus Pony", but that will most likely never happen. Ugh, so not excited about "The Missing Pony Pal" now, because it's about a stupid gymkhana accident and Snow White gets hurt and is all wimpy and the illustrations show Anna as being taller than Pam. What??? I'll go do homework or something now.
I can't think of a witty title for this one, or Super Special #2: Pony Pals: The Story of Our Ponies
I used to like this one. But now I really hate all super specials. And I have no idea how Super Special #4 is going to work, because its in the perspective of all three characters, but its mostly about Pam being a peacemaker and Lulu and Anna being brats. AS USUAL.
Plot: Snow White had a son! Who knew? The son, named Snowflake, comes to Wiggins with his owner Mark. Lulu really enjoys learning fascinating things about Snow White and decides to write her life story. Pam and Anna, being copy cats, do the same thing with their ponies.
Basically the whole book is about the history of the ponies.
Yay, Snow White was raised by Mark.
Yay, Acorn was owned by someone with cerebral palsy who gained confidence from ponies.
Yay, Lightning was born in Ireland.
When they're all done learning, the Pony Pals make a book and donate it to the library.
Oh yeah, and Snowflake is being sold and Lulu wants to buy him, but can't, so the Pony Pals try to force Mrs. Wiggins to buy him. That seems to be their motto: When in doubt, make Ms. Wiggins buy a pony.
But Snowflake goes to a little girl in Falls City, which *gasp* is very close to Wiggins! The day is saved!
More notes:
Snowflake is kind of a bad name for a boy horse.
"Snow White's story". How original.
"We'll help you with spelling." Or you could use a computer...with spellcheck!
Pam has a mosquito bite on her forehead. Or so she says.
I wish the Mrs. Crandal would stop mentioning Splash and Daisy every 5 seconds.
I like how they were all shocked that Victoria Winters would want to sell horses for a living, but are completely cool with Mark doing it for a living. Cuz Mark's a hottie.
Lulu looks all Emily Strange in one picture.
Rema doesn't want Mark to think she's nice; she wants Mark to think she's sexually desirable.
Didn't we already know that Acorn had 8 owners?
Wait, how old is Mr. Olson is Acorn's mother was his childhood pony...? Acorn is way old.
Connemaras are Irish. Shockingly enough, Lightning was born in Ireland.
Lulu wants Marks' body. I remember writing a Pony Pals story where Lulu married Mark, Anna married Charlie and worked at a diner because she was poor, and Pam just became all mean and didn't marry Tommy? It was lame. And something about a black horse named Samson. Because I am obsessed with black horses named Samson.
If they want this book to seem all professional, they shouldn't type stuff like, "Snow White is my beautiful pony. Hugs and kisses forever."
Pam loves unnecessary information. "Four years ago my mother and father bought a Connemara pony from you. Her name is Lightning and she is mine." Right. Duh. And those sentences could've been combined into one shorter sentence.
Pony Pal Pancake Special? I think this is supposed to be a joke: blueberry pancakes...*stifles giggle*...WITH A CARROT ON TOP!!! Yeah, not funny.
PONIES DO NOT HAVE PLAYDATES!!! Dogs have playdates. Little kids have playdates. Ponies don't do playdates.
"Beauty looks so beautiful!" Ha. Couldn't think of a different adjective.
I like how all the Pony Pals take credit for "saving Beauty's life" when it was mostly Pam.
Sally Southack uses crutches because she has a disability, not because she fell off Acorn!!! Geez, Anna. What is he, like 3 feet off the ground?
Sally sounds Southern (ew, alliteration). "Acorn, get yourself over here!"
Sally = way pretty.
Anna likes unnecessary information, too. "Pam is going to write down what you say about Acorn. It's hard for me to listen and write at the same time. I'm dyslexic." You could've said, "I'm dyslexic."
Shetland ponies do not cause cerebral palsy.
Where do they get off talking about Tommy behind his back? They've told at least 6 people already, "He's a show offy jerk pants!"
I hate people that name their horses full sentences, such as Like the Wind, or Dapperton's Dapper Dappy Dappled Dimple. And then they give them nicknames that are totally unrelated, like Ranger, because he likes grass???
"Connemara ponies live like goats in the hills." Ooooookay, does that imply that they act like goats? A less confused way to say it would be, "Connemara ponies live in the hills like goats."
Yay, an owner that actually gives the horse credit!
"Maybe Lightning should've been left in the wild...." Yeah, and then she could starve to death with the rest of her kind.
Anna has never used e-mail. Yes.
Aaargh, because Mr. Kelly is Irish, he has to use words like "wee" and "creature" and "fine" and say stuff in Gaelic.
Winnie-the-Pooh can't be classified as a teddy bear.
There's not much Tommy can do to you when you're on horseback. Stupid Anna.
They hyphenate AND italicize "all right". Pam says it, "All-right!"
Aw, Tommy looks so cute as Winnie-the-Pooh. Acorn, on the other hand, is the ugliest Acorn I have ever seen.
"Acorn is my best friend. I can tell him all of my problems." I would not want that published.
Because I'm also dyslexic, I thought the first sentence said something about the Pony Pals eating hay. I was all, "Wth???? Is this how you get your kicks? Chewing grass? Most people smoke it...."
I doubt your dad is going to be willing to buy you another pony, Lulu. Especially since the last time you bought one it turned out to be a sickly wimp.
Mr. Sanders is in India again???
Mrs. Crandal only has two ponies: Splash and Daisy. What? What did she do before book #6??? I think she could afford another pony. BUY SNOWFLAKE!
Sucking up NEVER works.
Argh, shut up, Lulu, about stupid Snowflake. It hurts her freaking heart. Suck it up.
I thought this was a story about Lightning's life. A step-by-step process of how Lightning was put into an airplane isn't that vital to the story.
Lightning used to be anorexic. And cute. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU???
Ugh, a little joke about the stupid upside-down heart on Lightning's head.
STOP MENTIONING THOSE STUPID KITTENS!!!! We get it, Lightning's a HERO!!!
Heh. I can make copies for free at school. Although I don't really have any copies I want to make.
Lulu making me way angry. NO ONE CARES ABOUT SNOWFLAKE!
Confusing illustration on the cover of the book: there is a pasture and some grass, but the pony has no body. Just a head. Floating in the grass?
She already bought Beauty. I don't think Ms. Wiggins wants another sickly pony.
But she sees through their scam. Like it was so subtle.
"We used all of our Pony Pal power. It just didn't work this time." Or maybe you don't have any power.
Oh, because I want to waste time reading a book about ponies written by ten-year-olds.
Ew, Mark likes hanging out with Pony Pals.
I notice whenever their is a pony for sale, it's auctioned off to some little dark-haired girl who is never seen again. Besides Lulu.
That was lame. But not as lame as "The Blind Pony", which is coming up next. Bah, ten-year-olds.
Plot: Snow White had a son! Who knew? The son, named Snowflake, comes to Wiggins with his owner Mark. Lulu really enjoys learning fascinating things about Snow White and decides to write her life story. Pam and Anna, being copy cats, do the same thing with their ponies.
Basically the whole book is about the history of the ponies.
Yay, Snow White was raised by Mark.
Yay, Acorn was owned by someone with cerebral palsy who gained confidence from ponies.
Yay, Lightning was born in Ireland.
When they're all done learning, the Pony Pals make a book and donate it to the library.
Oh yeah, and Snowflake is being sold and Lulu wants to buy him, but can't, so the Pony Pals try to force Mrs. Wiggins to buy him. That seems to be their motto: When in doubt, make Ms. Wiggins buy a pony.
But Snowflake goes to a little girl in Falls City, which *gasp* is very close to Wiggins! The day is saved!
More notes:
Snowflake is kind of a bad name for a boy horse.
"Snow White's story". How original.
"We'll help you with spelling." Or you could use a computer...with spellcheck!
Pam has a mosquito bite on her forehead. Or so she says.
I wish the Mrs. Crandal would stop mentioning Splash and Daisy every 5 seconds.
I like how they were all shocked that Victoria Winters would want to sell horses for a living, but are completely cool with Mark doing it for a living. Cuz Mark's a hottie.
Lulu looks all Emily Strange in one picture.
Rema doesn't want Mark to think she's nice; she wants Mark to think she's sexually desirable.
Didn't we already know that Acorn had 8 owners?
Wait, how old is Mr. Olson is Acorn's mother was his childhood pony...? Acorn is way old.
Connemaras are Irish. Shockingly enough, Lightning was born in Ireland.
Lulu wants Marks' body. I remember writing a Pony Pals story where Lulu married Mark, Anna married Charlie and worked at a diner because she was poor, and Pam just became all mean and didn't marry Tommy? It was lame. And something about a black horse named Samson. Because I am obsessed with black horses named Samson.
If they want this book to seem all professional, they shouldn't type stuff like, "Snow White is my beautiful pony. Hugs and kisses forever."
Pam loves unnecessary information. "Four years ago my mother and father bought a Connemara pony from you. Her name is Lightning and she is mine." Right. Duh. And those sentences could've been combined into one shorter sentence.
Pony Pal Pancake Special? I think this is supposed to be a joke: blueberry pancakes...*stifles giggle*...WITH A CARROT ON TOP!!! Yeah, not funny.
PONIES DO NOT HAVE PLAYDATES!!! Dogs have playdates. Little kids have playdates. Ponies don't do playdates.
"Beauty looks so beautiful!" Ha. Couldn't think of a different adjective.
I like how all the Pony Pals take credit for "saving Beauty's life" when it was mostly Pam.
Sally Southack uses crutches because she has a disability, not because she fell off Acorn!!! Geez, Anna. What is he, like 3 feet off the ground?
Sally sounds Southern (ew, alliteration). "Acorn, get yourself over here!"
Sally = way pretty.
Anna likes unnecessary information, too. "Pam is going to write down what you say about Acorn. It's hard for me to listen and write at the same time. I'm dyslexic." You could've said, "I'm dyslexic."
Shetland ponies do not cause cerebral palsy.
Where do they get off talking about Tommy behind his back? They've told at least 6 people already, "He's a show offy jerk pants!"
I hate people that name their horses full sentences, such as Like the Wind, or Dapperton's Dapper Dappy Dappled Dimple. And then they give them nicknames that are totally unrelated, like Ranger, because he likes grass???
"Connemara ponies live like goats in the hills." Ooooookay, does that imply that they act like goats? A less confused way to say it would be, "Connemara ponies live in the hills like goats."
Yay, an owner that actually gives the horse credit!
"Maybe Lightning should've been left in the wild...." Yeah, and then she could starve to death with the rest of her kind.
Anna has never used e-mail. Yes.
Aaargh, because Mr. Kelly is Irish, he has to use words like "wee" and "creature" and "fine" and say stuff in Gaelic.
Winnie-the-Pooh can't be classified as a teddy bear.
There's not much Tommy can do to you when you're on horseback. Stupid Anna.
They hyphenate AND italicize "all right". Pam says it, "All-right!"
Aw, Tommy looks so cute as Winnie-the-Pooh. Acorn, on the other hand, is the ugliest Acorn I have ever seen.
"Acorn is my best friend. I can tell him all of my problems." I would not want that published.
Because I'm also dyslexic, I thought the first sentence said something about the Pony Pals eating hay. I was all, "Wth???? Is this how you get your kicks? Chewing grass? Most people smoke it...."
I doubt your dad is going to be willing to buy you another pony, Lulu. Especially since the last time you bought one it turned out to be a sickly wimp.
Mr. Sanders is in India again???
Mrs. Crandal only has two ponies: Splash and Daisy. What? What did she do before book #6??? I think she could afford another pony. BUY SNOWFLAKE!
Sucking up NEVER works.
Argh, shut up, Lulu, about stupid Snowflake. It hurts her freaking heart. Suck it up.
I thought this was a story about Lightning's life. A step-by-step process of how Lightning was put into an airplane isn't that vital to the story.
Lightning used to be anorexic. And cute. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU???
Ugh, a little joke about the stupid upside-down heart on Lightning's head.
STOP MENTIONING THOSE STUPID KITTENS!!!! We get it, Lightning's a HERO!!!
Heh. I can make copies for free at school. Although I don't really have any copies I want to make.
Lulu making me way angry. NO ONE CARES ABOUT SNOWFLAKE!
Confusing illustration on the cover of the book: there is a pasture and some grass, but the pony has no body. Just a head. Floating in the grass?
She already bought Beauty. I don't think Ms. Wiggins wants another sickly pony.
But she sees through their scam. Like it was so subtle.
"We used all of our Pony Pal power. It just didn't work this time." Or maybe you don't have any power.
Oh, because I want to waste time reading a book about ponies written by ten-year-olds.
Ew, Mark likes hanging out with Pony Pals.
I notice whenever their is a pony for sale, it's auctioned off to some little dark-haired girl who is never seen again. Besides Lulu.
That was lame. But not as lame as "The Blind Pony", which is coming up next. Bah, ten-year-olds.
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