Happy Fictional Father's Day!!!, or FTFO Madison Finn #18: Give Me a Break

It's Father's Day!! Yay!!! This is the day where I thank God for giving me a father more able than Jeff Finn.
Ironically, Madison Finn #18 involves fathers. Sort of. It's mostly about friendship and superstition, but Jeff takes Madison on a big ski trip, so it's pretty appropriate.
Wth? In the library summary, they make it sound like Madison has to choose between Fiona and Aimee, but Fiona's already going somewhere for the holidays, so picking her isn't even an option.
I highly doubt the person who wrote that read the book.



Plot: Winter Break is here and Madison expects to be bored out of her wits. She is so jealous of her friend, Fiona, who is going to California for the holidays. UNFAIR!!!
Then Jeff Finn has a brilliant idea: why doesn't he take his wife, daughter, and best friend to a 5 star ski resort???? Wouldn't that be fun??
Honestly? Sounds like one of the BSC vacations, where the parents pay for EVERYONE.
Madison is all for it. She grabs Aimee and they head off to Big Mountain (seriously, that's the name.)
Unfortunately, they keep running into bad luck!! On the drive up the mountain, they get TWO flat tires. They also rent a HAUNTED cabin, and get into fights!!
It's just omen after bad omen!!!
Not only that, Aimee is being totally snobby, and Madison blames HER for all the bad luck.
After Madison chooses a cute boy to be her ski partner rather than Aimee, Aimee flies in a jealous rage down the mountain...and sprains her wrist!!
This is either the worst vacation or the best vacation ever.
I'm enjoying it.
Madison is so angry at Aimee. She ruined their vacation!!! Aimee sacrifices TLC and good medical care, however, to let Madison enjoy the slopes for two more days. Wow. She's a good friend...especially since Maddie's such a brat in this one.
Even more bad luck!!! Madison realizes all her superstitions are stupid and breaks down...but Aimee is there to boost her ego and say, "No, all your superstitions aren't dumb! I believe them!"
That way, Amiee has to apologize first and nothing is expected of Madison.
So lame. Anyway, they are friends forever.

More notes:
Fiona wears a lot of purple, specifically the shade "grape".

Egg knocks Devo and Tears for Fears. Jerk.

"The truth was that Aimee, Madison, and Fiona had gone to a few hockey games - and practices, too. Fiona went because her brother was on the team and because she wanted to see Egg in slap-shot action. Madison went to ogle Hart in his ice skates."
Wth? They actually let other students come to practice??? SOOOO prohibited at my school. Lol!! "Oooooh...your ice skates are SOOOOO hot...score another goal..."

Aw, poor Madison and Aimee. Fiona is going to California for winter break!!! Madison and Aimee have to watch hot boys play hockey and work at the Cyber Cafe (for money!!!).

Madison finds a chain letter Aimee receives and FREAKS OUT!! They HAVE to send it to five people or they'll have FIVE YEARS OF BAD LUCK.
Oooo, I'm scared. They send a copy to Poison Ivy.
Why are they so mean to her???

Whaaaat? Maddie might not be into Hart anymore???

LAAAAME. Hart doesn't have the balls to ask her out, and Madison doesn't want to make the first move, either.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought the cute guy next door was named JOSH. Madison seems to think his name is Toby.
Nooooooo. That would be the random high school guy you met in #11 whilst walking your dog.

She reminisces about Mark and how she messed up because she NEVER e-mailed him (but he never exactly e-mailed her, either).

Whoas. How rich is Madison's dad? They're staying in a 5 star resort, and Madison can take her friend AND her dog.

On the last day of school before winter break, all the teachers show movies instead of teaching class.
AS IT SHOULD BE.

Aimee screws up things with Hart. She not only embarasses him, but implies that Maddie should find someone new.
WHY ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH HER, MADDIE?

BIGWHEELS IS SICK AGAIN!!! I bet tomorrow her computer will crash, but as soon as she gets a new one, she'll be grounded, and then when she finally gets to use her e-mail again, she'll be sick.
It's a vicious cycle.

Bigwheels wants to meet Maddie in person.
Aaagh...what if she's really a creepy child molestor!?

Oh no, Madison has no cute ski clothes! She'll be laughed off the slopes!

So far, Madison has a sweatshirt, ski pants, a jacket, and some jeans.
If you never change clothes, that could last you a few days.

"Even though Madison was feeling much more alert, Aimee's high-pitched squeals were still over the top."
I hate morning people.
Agh, my dog woke me up at 6:15 this morning, but when I want to be awake and play with her, she's tired and wants to go to bed.
??? I thought you were a terrier!

They hear the same song on the radio within ten minutes!!
Good omen!!!

Jeff gets lost and refuses to ask for directions.
Here's to Dad's who never ask for directions!! Yaaaay!

Two flat tires!!! And Jeff forgot his AAA card!! They'll never get a tow now!

Stephanie totally chews him out...then pulls out HER AAA card for him to use.
Why didn't you just give it to him in the first place?

Lol. They go to a love calculator website. Those crack me up, but Madison TOTALLY takes them seriously.

Hart and Madison have only a 26% chance of romance!! Say it isn't so!!!

Madison has a better (85%) chance with EGG!!! Ew.

Aimee and Ben have a 74% chance. Ew, I hate them both.

Uh oh. Hart and Ivy have an 81% chance of romance.
Lol. Madison's ideal love connection is Philip Ayres, who sits next to her in math class.
So she types in her and Hart's MIDDLE names and they get an 81% chance, just like Hart and Ivy.
Ew, Hart's middle name is Jefferson???

Oh no, Madison sees a black cat! Bad omen?
Nope. It's just a squirrel.

Aimee makes fun of Hart, because he's a commitmentphobe.
Then again, this is junior high, but getting played kind of sucks.

Lol. The skylights open and it snows in their cabin. Bad omen.
Then again, they now have their own personal ski trail.

NOYCE!!! The resort reimburses them for one night's stay, and pays for their lift tickets AND lunch!!
HOLY CRAP!!
If I'd been there, I would be shoveling snow into my cabin every DAY!!

The manager even sends them APOLOGY BREAKFAST!!! Pastries and yogurt!!! sWeEt!!!

AAargh. Madison spills the salt, screams, and tosses it over her shoulder...which blinds Phinnie for life.

Wth???
"Aimee unzipped her suitcase and took out a perfectly matched outfit - a pair of purple ski pants and an orange fleece pullover. Underneath, she would wear a little shirt with flowers embroidered across the neckline."
Purple and ORANGE??? What about that is MATCHING???? Madison's jealous that Aimee is so "fashionable". I think the appropriate word is "color-blind".

Red pants, a black T-shirt, and a pink hat doesn't work that well, either, but I guess the point is to stay warm.

Oooh, an exotic Spanish ski instructor.
Aimee is in lust.

Aimee: We're here for lessons.
Ski instructor: Are you? Well, I'm the instructor.
Madison: Can we sign up for you?
Aimee: She means, can we register for you and your lessons?
Ski instructor: Certainly. I'm Carlos. Let me get Jennifer. She will help you get signed up.
Mmmmm, Carlos, I want to learn how to ski. Lol.

Aimee totally throws herself at Carlos, but when Madison spazzes out about a piece of strawberry stuck in her teeth, Aimee is all, "He's only the ski instructor, Maddie."
*cough* HYPOCRITE *cough*

Whoas. Stephanie and Dad buy Madison sunglasses, gloves, a ski suit, and a headband.
It would suck to be Aimee in that situation.

Ooh, the ski pants have a bib. Yay, ski overalls!

Oooh, Madison runs into a cute boy named Hugh Jackson.
H...J. Hey, he has the same initials as Hart Jones!

Foster Lane, Aimee's favorite movie star, is at the resort!!!
That would suck if there was a celebrity at your resort...but it was someone you despised, like Tori Spelling.

"When Aimee set her mind to something, she was often successful. Maybe it was a combination of always speaking her mind and batting her eyelashes."

Hugh: freckles, green eyes, blond hair.
In other words, Zac Efron!!!

Jeff gives Madison and Aimee necklaces with a bunny charm. Oh, I get it! Snow bunnies!!! -_-

Ugh, of course, Madison has to go overboard and convince herself that the snow bunny necklace is good luck.

Lol. Aimee takes off the necklace because it doesn't match her outfit. Madison's like, "NOOOO, BAD LUCK, BAD LUCK!"

Stephanie believes in a superstition about sneezing.
One for sorrow, two for joy, three for a letter, four for a boy, five for silver, six for gold, seven for a secret never to be told.
What is that supposed to mean?? And I thought it was seven for DEATH.
Because we were talking about that in math, and then Sam sneezed four times in a row, so Mr. Kovacs was all, "4 sneezes closer to DEATH!" It was pretty hilarious.

LAAAAAME. The waiter tells them a story about Mr. White, who supposedly froze to death outside his cabin. Wait. MADISON'S cabin was once his cabin!!
How is she believing this??? HE'S A WAITER!!!

Stephanie leaves to go to the bathroom when Madison and Aimee start talking about old memories when Maddie's parents were still together, and Madison flips out at Aimee. "Why did you start talking about my mom!!1?? It made Stephanie cry!!"

Aagh. Aimee blows up at Madison, and understandably so.
Owl: Hoooo hoooo hoooo.
Madison: Oh no! THree times! Bad luck!
Aimee: Huh? Three what? Maddie, stop obsessing about your stupid superstitions!
Madison: What do you mean, stupid?
Aimee: I mean, can you please stop being so neurotic for five minutes and just go back to sleep?
Madison: Neurotic? Quit acting like you know everything.
Aimee: What do you mean by that? I don't know everything. Who said I knew everything?
Madison says some nasty stuff about Aimee's ballet ability, and Aimee snaps back.
Girls....

Aimee and Stephanie have a special bonding time.
I would be soooo jealous.

Lol. Madison fell asleep on her bunny charm and it made a HUGE indent in her face.

Madison writes Bigwheels and complains about how slutty Aimee is and how much she's CHANGED.
Um, isn't Aimee flirty ALL THE TIME?? And you go for older guys, too, Madison, so don't be mean to your best friend.

Hmm, Hugh lives in Reston, which is close to Far Hills. Love Connection!
Isn't Reston that town where the Sandy girl in Pony Pals #19 was moving??
Sorry.

Madison tells Aimee she's acting like Poison Ivy.
I think spending time with Poison Ivy would be preferable to listening to Madison moan.

Lol. Aimee has to be partners with some girl...but Madison is partners with Hugh.

Then Aimee gets mad when Madison won't switch partners. Hello, hot guy, more important than friendship, obviously.

Hugh: Your friend looks bummed. You should ski with her.
Madison: I do everything with her. I would rather ski with you.
Whoa, Maddie. How positively bold of you.

Aimee falls down the mountain!!!!! No lie!!!

How would a broken wrist prevent you from dancing in a ballet recital?? I want to know.

At least it's only a sprain...but it will be in a cast for 4 weeks. Ouch.

Madison is so selfish. Her best friend just hurt her wrist and needs to go home, and the only thing Madison cares about is her vacation.

Argh. Madison is convinced the accident happened because neither girl wore their ski bunny charm.

Bad timing. Gramma Helen, not knowing about Aimee's accident, sends Madison an e-mail that says, "Don't fall of the mountain!"

Fiona e-mails about her brother Chet's sprained foot and complains about how she can't do ANYTHING now. Hello, your BROTHER sprained his foot, not you. Just ditch him and go have fun. You're in CALIFORNIA!

Heeeeey...Drew's gf's name is ELAINE, not Emily. Unless he broke up with Elaine and started going out with a new girl...whose name ALSO happens to begin with E.

Aw. Aimee decides to stay so Madison can enjoy her vacation.
Madison totally does NOT thank her best friend.

Ooh, Madison puts on MAKEUP to impress Hugh. Lol. If only she knew what was coming.

They practice on a slope called Four-Leaf Clover.
Good omen!

Ewwww, root beer.

They ask if CARLOS, the 25-year-old Spanish ski instructor, will be Aimee's true love. Yeah, I see that happening.

Yay, the chain letter worked!! Ivy got gum in her hair!! So mean.

I hate people that only apologize when the other person did. Aimee says she believes in superstitions and that she's sorry for almost ruining the vacation because she was dumb (the accident was NO accident; she was just showing off). Madison apologizes, but doesn't specify what she's sorry about. Meaning she's not really sorry. -_-

OH NO! Hugh can't ski with Madison anymore! He'd rather go skiing with his friends and parents, and ski demos are lame anyway.

Madison freaks out!! She acts like they were dating or something, when, in actuality, they've known each other 2 days. Totally overreacting.

AND overdramatic. "I'm...all...alone!!! *sob*"

To show Madison she is a good friend, Aimee wears her snow bunny necklace, which restores Madison's faith in good and bad luck and omens and so forth.

They met Foster Lane, but Madison doesn't think he is cute because he has acne.
It's not like people CHOOSE to have acne. My brother has it, and my friends are always asking all slyly, "Mmmm, who's he??" It's creepy. And weird.

"Maybe everything happened so we could see that the best lucky charm was with us all along--each other."
GAG! This isn't "Sesame Street".

Lol. Madison and Aimee play that apple game where you twist off the stem and poke through the skin. Aimee gets WD, for Walter Diaz!!! But he's supposed to be Madison's "true love"? Oh well.
Madison gets HJ, and is like, "Oh no, not Hugh!" Um, duh. Hart Jones.

WHOA. As soon as Madison gets home, Hart IMs her and asks if she would like to go skating with him. Well, him, and all their friends, but still.
Okay, and it WAS on IM, but it's a start.

Madison's Computer Tip:
The Internet is a great place to search for trends, fashion tips, and other ideas about what's hot - and in my case, what's not.

Fun, fun, fun. The next book is more serious, and a little lamer, as Madison takes out her frustrations on Poison Ivy. It's like permanent PMS or something. Hopefully she'll be better by #20.

I avoid conflict, or Pony Pals Super Special #5: Pony Problem

I still don't get why Super Specials are so much specialer than the other books. The author runs out of plot after about 70 pages, and this book is 115 pages long.



Plot: Anna wakes up one morning to find Acorn missing - and Snow White hurt! It appears the ponies had a fight, resulting in Acorn's disappearance. They find him at Pam's house, but after that, the two ponies cannot seem to get along! Neither can their owners, for that matter; they both blame each other.
Pam, as you know, can "communicate" with animals, and uses this unique ability to find out what went wrong between the two pony friends. It turns out Acorn is a bit jealous of his friend Snow White, who is receiving lots of attention due to her new barrel racing tricks. Acorn feels a bit left out.
In turn, Snow White is too tired to play with her pony friend and wonders why he is being so "mean" to her.
Pam reveals this to her Pony Pals. They make up and spend the rest of the book planning for the Winter Fest, which goes amazingly well, and everyone is happy.

More notes:
Lulu writes a crappy poem:
Snow White in the moonlight
On a snowy night.
Everything is all right.

Anna thinks Acorn was stolen. After all, he starred in an ABC Family movie, and was in the circus once. Oh, and he played The Magic Pony in that play at the library.

She and Lulu go out looking for Acorn at 7:00 AM without telling their parents! How is it that they NEVER get in trouble??? I can't believe their parents are FINE with this.

Now they're sure someone stole Acorn because there are TRACKS in the PADDOCK! Hello, you guys go into the paddock ALL THE TIME.

Tommy's middle name should be "Trouble". How clever. :P

No duh, it was Anna's footprint.

There's a scene with Pam in the barn with Fat Cat. Fat Cat is depressed because someone put toilet paper in her bed, so now she can't sleep. I swear, if that's not foreshadowing, I don't know what is.

Lulu: Snow White has blood on her neck. Come, look.
Anna: She must have cut herself.
Snow White!!! Didn't I tell you to stay away from those razorblades!!!???

"She was a sweet gray Welsh two-year-old."
If you're talking about a pony (which they are), you wouldn't say it like that. It would be more like, "She was a sweet two-year-old gray Welsh pony," or something.

Agh, it's a misunderstanding. Lulu and Anna are convinced the other is mad at them. Spare me.

"Anna frowned. She hated it when Pam wasn't on her side."
And Pam sort of owes her, too, after the whole abused Cloud thing.

Ugh, Lulu's getting annoying. You know how she gets when she's worried about Snow White, right? THAT'S WHAT SHE'S DOING! "Oh no, it's been 5 minutes! I have to go check on Snow White!"

Anna: How do you know what she's thinking? She's probably thinking, "I wish I had bit Acorn harder."
LOL!!

Anna just feels like being mean. I hear you.

Pam thinks Charlie is bossy.
*cough cough* HYPOCRITE! *cough cough*

Whoa what happened to Charlie and Anna? I thought they were a couple!! I guess not. Charlie's obsessed with Lulu now, and totally ignores Anna when she shows him her drawings.

Wth?? What the heck is skijoring??

"Pam hated it when Charlie acted like he knew more about ponies than she did."
This is payback for all the times you made someone feel stupid because you had to know everything about ponies, Pam.

Omg, that's so awful! "Acorn is happy because Snow WHite isn't here, thought Anna. Snow White might have to move to Pam's. That's okay. The Crandals have plenty of room for another pony."
Whoa. Anna is way evil sometimes.

They're eating spaghetti.
For dinner.
AGAIN.

"What are you doing to Snow White?"
That sounds dirty....

Lulu is a way annoying.

Acorn is jealous. Why isn't Charlie paying attention to him? Why is Snow White learning new tricks? Why won't Snow White play with him?
Acorn needs therapy.

WHOA!
"'You'd be a good snowboarder, Pony Pest,' said Tommy. 'You got good balance."

Pam writes about a time when her mom's horse JB started eating wood, and he told her that he missed his goat friend Queenie.
Queenie? Wasn't that the name of the sheep in #12?

Whoa. Acorn's side of the story is my life.

Remind Acorn that he is special and everything will be all right.

Mwahaha. Anna thinks Snow White should move out. Because it's her backyard, and Snow White doesn't belong there.

Pam: I think Acorn and Snow White are still fighting because you are still fighting. Animals pick up on how people feel.
Lulu: But we're fighting because our ponies are fighting.
Pam: It's a vicious circle.
Lol. A vicious circle. It's a vicious "cycle", Pam.

The exterminator joke is getting old, Tommy.

Charlie sits next to Lulu...and Mike sits next to Anna. :O He's bisexual?
Ha ha, Pam has no one.

Charlie: What's wrong with those guys? Sometimes they're okay and sometimes they're sort of dumb.
Tee hee. Just like the Pony Pals!!

Charlie is starting to sound less like a cowboy and more like a Brit.
"I have an idea! It's positively brilliant!!"

Ha. Lulu got suckered into barrel racing.

Aagh.
Mr. Olson: Mr. Charlie can make you his special Mexican burritos.
What other kind of burritos would they be eating? French burritos?
Charlie: They're muy delicioso.
Someone's been watching Dora the Explorer recently!

The Pony Pals make a pony scrapbook.
"Mr. Olson came in to get a drink. The stories were so interesting he stayed to listen."
Oh, I highly doubt that.

All of these stories are basically about how amazing Snow White is. "I used to have no friends. Then I met Snow White." "We had a costume parade. Snow White went first because she's so beautiful." "I fell in a hole, but got out all right, because I'm snow White!"

I think one of the stories is from Super Special #4...WHICH I HAVEN'T READ YET!

I don't remember this lamb business. They say they rescued a baby lamb. When was this?

Pwned. They attack Charlie and snowball him. Literally. Lol.

Oh no! If Winter Fest is cancelled, what will Anna's mother do with all the brownies she baked?
Give them to the fatty Pony Pals, of course!

Apparently Tommy is a pro snowboarder.
Anna: At least he can do something right.
Noyce.

BFFs!! I swear, this is like the Bratz movie.

I never lose things, I merely forget them, or FTFO Madison Finn #6: Lost and Found

This was the first Madison Finn book I ever read. This is also probably the best book Madison Finn I have ever read.



Plot: Life is crazy, as usual. Egg has a day of skating and icecapades planned, but Madison doesn't want to go; she can't skate!
Thankfully, a huge blizzard hits Far Hills and there's no school that day.
Instead of a day of relaxation, though, Fran forces Madison to clean out the attic while she does nothing. Madison finds some stuff from third or fourth grade when she was still friends with Ivy. Among that stuff is a letter she and Ivy wrote that they had saved for seventh grade. She contemplates giving it to Ivy so they can open it together.
Back to school. Madison has to go skating. Her friends try to help her, but she pretty much sucks, and Hart is being ubernice to Ivy??? Whaaat?
During a game of Truth or Dare at Fiona's house, Madison picks Truth and Ivy forces her to tell everyone who she likes. Madison doesn't want to say the real answer, and tells everyone she likes Egg. Grooooss. The Truth or Dare game wasn't exactly detrimental to the plot, but Egg kisses Fiona on the knee and Hart reveals that he saw his neighbor Susie naked. Whoa...too much information.
Madison, still seething at Ivy's trick, opens the letter and cries for like three days.
The next day in science class, Hart passes her a note asking what her e-mail address is. Ivy tattles on Madison and Mr. Danehy holds them both after class. Ivy REALLY wants to see the note, so she grabs it out of Madison's backpack...only it's not the note; it's the 4th grade letter. Ivy takes the letter and ends up crying in the bathroom. And that's it. ? What kind of ending was that? Oh well.

More notes:
"The worst part was the dreaded gym uniform. Its ugly blue polyester gym shorts made Madison's legs itch, and a too tight, white T-shirt with a blue Far Hills Junior High Logo was not exactly the most flattering fashion statement. And wearing the shirt meant wearing a bra, even though Madison didn't have much to fill out."
A TIGHT WHITE T-shirt isn't a flattering fashion statement, Madison? The boys disagree. Btw, she's in 7th grade: aren't most people wearing bras by that time?

Lol, they talk about changing in the locker rooms and awkwardness. Whatever.

Oh no, there was a uniform change and the new shorts are baggy...but Madison forgot to give her mom the permission slip!!

I love running. Fiona passes out. And she's supposed to be athletic. It's because she's sick, though. Lol, and she's all, "I feel hot, Coach." Oh my....

Madison and Ivy race...and tie.

I still can't get over the name "Nurse Shim".

In this book, the lake is called Lake Wannalotta. Forever after, it's called Lake Dora. Is there more than one?

Way to be super obvious about Hart, Maddie.

Oh dear, Maddie can't skate!

Aimee starts complaining about ballet class. What? I thought our little anorexic was a ballet freak!

More reasons why I hate Fran: Jeff is in Denver, but can't come home to take Madison out to dinner because he has to work. Fran freaks out at him, so Madison starts defending him, and Fran's like, "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?" What is YOUR problem? He has a job.

There's a snowstorm headed for Far Hills! Lucky.

She gets to miss school, but her mom is a morning person.

You get a day off from school and you're making your daughter clean out the attic, Fran? You suck.

Fran plays flute, too. I'll bet she sucks, just like her daughter.

WHOA, Madison's grandpa was not named Joe!!!

I love Dan Ginsburg. Sort of.

If you really don't want to go skating, DON'T GO! But no, Maddie decides to go because Egg told her to. Peer pressure much?

"Madison realized she had been out of school for a day and a half and she hadn't done any homework yet."
Ha ha. Same here.

Aww, Bigwheels' dad moved out. This really depressed me.

I hate spacey people. Aimee invites Madison over to play in the snow, it takes Madison half an hour to put on her stuff (and she considers that "fast), and when she gets there, Aimee berates her for "being late...even though she's not dressed. Lame.

Jeff and Stephanie are sleeping together? How scandalous.

Fran always yells at Jeff for being late, and yet being late is a habit of hers, too. Hypocrite.

I think it's really stupid why Ivy and Madison stopped being friends.

Ha. I remember back in the day when I thought seventh grade would be the best year of my life. It wasn't bad, actually. Besides raging hormones and lame teachers.

It turns out Ivy is really insecure. That's really sad.

Fiona thinks Hart is cute!!! I'm surprised Madison hasn't strangled her yet.

Power outage. Hate those.

Mmm, tofu lasagna!

"She held up one of Madison's newest sweaters, a Christmas present from Mom. It was orange angora, fuzzy all over like a tabby cat."
Sounds...nice. In the earlier books, they make a huge deal about Madison's favorite color being orange.

Omg, this is so sad. Madison thinks that if she shows Ivy the letter, they'll become friends again. *tear*

Madison: And then there's this boy...
Fran: Boy? You mean Egg?
AARGH! All moms do this! Whenever I'm like, "There's this boy..." they always jump to conclusions about your best guy friend!

Green gloves, an orange sweater, and an orange parka. Plus a rainbow cap. Hm. That matches.

Dan is so stalkery, almost as much as Drew. Oh, and he makes a joke about Hart and Ivy going out. Laaame.

Susie is Hart's next-door-neighbor. She goes to a boarding school, likes ice skating professionally, and thinks Hart is "wicked nice". This girl sounds amazing.

Argh. I hate picking teams. ALWAYS. PICKED. LAST.

Aw, Egg picks her because he's her BGF. Lol, if I were captain, I would probably not pick my friends first. Sorry, guys.

Ivy shoves Madison, causing her to fall on her butt, so Aimee and Susie skate into her and humiliate her. Noyce.

"But then the laughter began - Ivy and Hart laughing. They were lying on top of each other on the ice, laughing like little kids."
That is so dirty!! It makes Madison cry. And Drew-Creepy-Pants is all taking pictures of them. Sooo nasty.

Ivy gets nailed with a snowball.

Omg, Ivy is such a freak. Rose is laughing and she's like, "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE, ROSIE!"

Phinnie ran away! He's never coming back.

What? Roseanne Snyder, Ivy's BFF, offers to help Maddie look for him? Carazy.

HE WAS IN THE HOUSE!! I bet he was hiding under the bed the whole time. Like in "Because of Winn-Dixie".

Hm, the Hot Chocolate party at Fiona's house sounds pretty fantabulous. Not. "We'll be doing something fun like playing videos or games." How do you play videos? And why can't you play video games?

Maddie calls Chet a Chucklehead. Hee.

Wow, the Waters' are totally into this hot chocolate party.

Ivy and Hart arrive together? Hart is such a loser.

Madison tries to go to the bathroom and Ivy takes a flying leap into it and is all, "I got here first!" You might want to use another toilet, Madison. Ivy's busy puking in that one.

Dan? Full? Is that even possible?

I hate Truth or Dare. I hate Spin the Bottle. But they decide to play "Truth or Dare Spin the Bottle". Whoaaaaaaa, carazy.

Oh no, not a kissing game! At least it's not 7 Minutes in Heaven, which slutty junior high kids are usually playing these days.

Drew thinks up way lame questions for "Truth".

Drew: What's the most embarassing thing that has ever happened to you?
Susie: *smiling*
Hart: I know that one, Susie. Don't lie!
Susie: Hart, be quiet! Let me see.... Well, I guess you're right, Hart. That was the most embarassing thing ever. Well, this summer...Hart saw me naked.
WHAT? QUESTIONABLE CONTENT IN A CHILDREN'S BOOK!!!

The other kids make fun of Dan for being "fat", but he does it to himself. Does that make it okay to call him "Pork-O"?

Madison calls Ivy out for lying on a TRUTH!! Go Maddie! Way to have a spine!

Don't pick truth, Maddie, don't pick Truth. Because if you pick Truth, someone's ALWAYS going to ask you "who you like".

She says Egg. Yeah. Right.

Hart picks Truth and admits he likes someone in this room. Madison thinks he likes her. Wishful thinking.

Egg has to kiss Fiona. So he kisses her on the knee. Ooh, hot.

All the boys leave, so it's no fun!

Susie: Let me know what happens with Hart.
Madison: Huh? What are you talking about?
Susie: He totally likes you. Does anyone know you like him?
!!!!!!!!
Omg, flashback to last year. One of my friends said the guy I like liked me, too, but he was wrong!!!!

Madison opens the envelope!!! Without Ivy!!! So much for becoming friends again.

Their list of "things to do in 7th grade" is so lame. They both want to become famous actresses.

PEMDAS does not stand for "Please Eat My Delicious Apples Soon"!!

Ivy asks Madison for her notes. Forget her.

Egg is a suck up.

THERE'S A PICTURE OF HART...WITH HIS HAND ON MADDIE'S SHOULDER! OMG, THEY'RE TOUCHING!

Madison joins band!!! Yay! Band geeks rule!!

Ooh, Hart gives Maddie a note...and Ivy wants it, so she throws a temper tantrum during science.

Ivy blames Madison and Hart...but insists Hart doesn't get in trouble. Way to be obviouser than Madison.

Ha. Mr. Danehy is like, "The note has your name on it, Ms. Daly."

Because it's the letter.

Ivy grabs it and runs away.

Finnster
What is ur e-mail?
Hart
That's it??? That's IT?? That's what the note said? That's what we've all been waiting for?

Ivy was crying!! This is making me really sad!

Omg, it's snowing in Washington! Well, in this book it is. Maybe some of that luck will rub off on the real life WA.

BIFF? Best Internet Friends Forever? No. Doesn't work.

Madison's Computer Tip:
Don't write online messages that contain too much private information.
Lest you be molested and killed by stalkers on Myspace.

Unicorns of Balinor tomorrow, with the lovely Miss Atalanta on the front. Fun.