This event will be followed by the Teddy Bear Picnic, or Pony Pals #38: Ponies on Parade

After this, only one more Pony Pal to go!!! Aaaagh!!
I like how it took Jeanne Betancourt 38 books to improve her writing. This book isn't spectacular and shouldn't win any awards, but it's probably one of the best Pony Pals books. Except for the fact that Acorn looks like a Wookiee on the cover.



Plot: The Pony Pals are SUPER excited for the Fall Festival, where there will be fun games, fatty foods, and crisp autumn leaves to enjoy!!!
This year, the town is doing something special; they're picking 10 people to each paint a lifesize statue of a pony.
Okay, what is this town's obsession with ponies?
Anna really wants to enter, but she doesn't have any ideas...and her homework is keeping her busy.
The Pony Pals help her brainstorm and finish her essay.
Anna paints her lifesize pony statue to look just like Acorn, and writes a bunch of Shetland facts on the sides.
But Tommy Rand, after having several angry altercations with the Pony Pals, decides to get revenge and paints graffiti all over Anna's pony!!!
Plus, he tries to pin it on Mike by writing "ML was here".
Nice try, Tommy.
Anna manages to fix the pony, and Mike apologize's for his boyfriend's behavior. Tommy, however, isn't the least bit sorry.
The Pony Pals decide to teach him a lesson. The pony statues are to be auctioned off at the Fall Festival, so the Pony Pals convince Mrs. Rand (Tommy's mother) that Tommy misses Acorn and he needs the statue to remind him of his old pony.
So Mrs. Rand buys the statue at the auction!!!!
Then she gets up on stage and tells everyone how much her son loves ponies!!!
Try the best Pony Pals ending ever!!!

More notes:
Anyone can write a research paper in two days. I've done it. My friends do it all the time. College students often have less time than that. Anna needs to suck it up.

The best way to get a paper done is to procrastinate.

Pam and Lulu are such losers.
Lulu: I finished my paper about Mount Morris. It's five pages long. Now all I have to do is make sure there aren't any mistakes.
[Writing about Mount Morris was a pretty big mistake.]
Pam: I almost finished mine, too. I learned so much about ballpoint pens. They used to leak like crazy.
[Golly, Lulu! Ballpoint pens are so fascinating!! They used to leak!! If you got to write a research paper on ANYTHING in the world, wouldn't you write about something controversial or interesting??]

I want to know where they get these lifesize ponies.

Out of all the crappy illustrators for the Pony Pals books, Richard Jones is my favorite. These illustrations are pretty stellar.

Tommy and Mike start pelting them with acorns. Ouch.

Ms. Wiggins wants to paint an angel pony, in honor of Winston. XP

WHOAAA!!! Ms. Wiggins has always been tall and thin with dark hair. Now she's tall and thin with BLONDE hair!!!

Some of Anna's ideas include a devil pony and a striped pony. Heheh. I like the devil pony, but it's too Satanic for Anna.

Anna's mom makes her stay home to write her paper...so Anna goes off to ride with the Pony Pals. I foresee a "Lion King" discipline scene. "You deliberately disobeyed me!"

Now we know the reason the boys hate the Pony Pals so much.
Mike: Hey, man. Why'd we have to keep following them?
Tommy: Because we want to mess up their stupid little Pony Pest day. We'll go in the cave and make ghost noises. That'll freak them out. Then it can be our hideout. Get it?
Got it. You're stupid.

5 seconds later, Tommy steps in horse crap.

Mike and Tommy are lost in the woods, so the Pony Pals draw them a map.
Unfortunately, Tommy's bike has a flat tire.
So he takes MIKE'S bike and leaves Mike with HIS bike!
Jerk.

This book was written in 2003, so the Pony Pals are all high-tech, using e-mail.

Lame lame lame. Anna can't decide on a research topic, so she picks Shetland ponies.

She prints out 36 pages on Shetland ponies!!! I'll bet she ran out of ink.

Ha. The Pony Pals are so mean to Tommy.

I hate that misbehaving ponies are never punished. I'm not saying they need to be whipped to death, but hello? Acorn opens the gate with his mouth and steals all their cookies! That's not cute, he could escape and die!!!

Yeah! Mike likes the devil pony, too!!

NOYCE! Mr. Remington the librarian is painting a pony that looks just like Harry Potter!!
Wait, so he has Daniel Radcliffe hair and everything?
Noyce.

Anna got a B-plus and the teacher wrote "Good job" on the paper. No. If you're going to write "Good job", give her at least an A!!!
Maybe it was for grammar mistakes.

Mike is making spaghetti for dinner.
What is wrong with these carb-obsessed freaks!!??

Anna has only 2 days to paint the pony, so her friends decide to take shorter trail rides.
You could always NOT trail ride, giving your more time to paint.

Mike told Tommy about the Pony contest, when he told Anna he WOULDN'T tell!!!
Betrayed!!!

I can't believe he ruined her pony. What a jerk.

Anna honestly thinks Mike did it.
Mike would never do a thing like that, Anna. He loves you.

Tommy practically confesses.

Awwww. Mike offers to help repaint the pony.

Some of the other pony ideas weren't so stellar:
Tuxedo Pony, Patriotic Pony, Glitter Pony, Little Red Riding Pony, Unicorn Pony, Baseball Pony, and Sky Pony are some of them.

AAAAH, THE PONY PALS ARE SO EVIL...BUT FUNNY!
Mrs. Rand: Anna Harley, this is perfect copy of Acorn. Absolutely perfect. Acorn was such a good pony. I miss him.
Lulu: I think Tommy misses Acorn, too.
Pam: He talks about Acorn sometimes.
Mrs. Rand: I'm so glad you told me that. Tommy's growing up so fast. Sometimes I don't recognize my sweet little boy.
Anna: Maybe you should buy My Pony at the auction. Then Tommy can always remember his time with Acorn.
Tee hee.

Mr. Olson almost buys the Acorn Pony!!! Go away, creepy pedophile!! Go back to your cowboy nephew!!

Mrs. Rand wins.

OH NO!
Mrs. Rand: Acorn was my son's pony. He's missed him. Now he'll always have Acorn.

Aaah, good times, good times.
Only one more Pony Pals book to go!!
And Lulu's moving to Africa!! Oh no!!!

I avoid conflict, or Pony Pals Super Special #5: Pony Problem

I still don't get why Super Specials are so much specialer than the other books. The author runs out of plot after about 70 pages, and this book is 115 pages long.



Plot: Anna wakes up one morning to find Acorn missing - and Snow White hurt! It appears the ponies had a fight, resulting in Acorn's disappearance. They find him at Pam's house, but after that, the two ponies cannot seem to get along! Neither can their owners, for that matter; they both blame each other.
Pam, as you know, can "communicate" with animals, and uses this unique ability to find out what went wrong between the two pony friends. It turns out Acorn is a bit jealous of his friend Snow White, who is receiving lots of attention due to her new barrel racing tricks. Acorn feels a bit left out.
In turn, Snow White is too tired to play with her pony friend and wonders why he is being so "mean" to her.
Pam reveals this to her Pony Pals. They make up and spend the rest of the book planning for the Winter Fest, which goes amazingly well, and everyone is happy.

More notes:
Lulu writes a crappy poem:
Snow White in the moonlight
On a snowy night.
Everything is all right.

Anna thinks Acorn was stolen. After all, he starred in an ABC Family movie, and was in the circus once. Oh, and he played The Magic Pony in that play at the library.

She and Lulu go out looking for Acorn at 7:00 AM without telling their parents! How is it that they NEVER get in trouble??? I can't believe their parents are FINE with this.

Now they're sure someone stole Acorn because there are TRACKS in the PADDOCK! Hello, you guys go into the paddock ALL THE TIME.

Tommy's middle name should be "Trouble". How clever. :P

No duh, it was Anna's footprint.

There's a scene with Pam in the barn with Fat Cat. Fat Cat is depressed because someone put toilet paper in her bed, so now she can't sleep. I swear, if that's not foreshadowing, I don't know what is.

Lulu: Snow White has blood on her neck. Come, look.
Anna: She must have cut herself.
Snow White!!! Didn't I tell you to stay away from those razorblades!!!???

"She was a sweet gray Welsh two-year-old."
If you're talking about a pony (which they are), you wouldn't say it like that. It would be more like, "She was a sweet two-year-old gray Welsh pony," or something.

Agh, it's a misunderstanding. Lulu and Anna are convinced the other is mad at them. Spare me.

"Anna frowned. She hated it when Pam wasn't on her side."
And Pam sort of owes her, too, after the whole abused Cloud thing.

Ugh, Lulu's getting annoying. You know how she gets when she's worried about Snow White, right? THAT'S WHAT SHE'S DOING! "Oh no, it's been 5 minutes! I have to go check on Snow White!"

Anna: How do you know what she's thinking? She's probably thinking, "I wish I had bit Acorn harder."
LOL!!

Anna just feels like being mean. I hear you.

Pam thinks Charlie is bossy.
*cough cough* HYPOCRITE! *cough cough*

Whoa what happened to Charlie and Anna? I thought they were a couple!! I guess not. Charlie's obsessed with Lulu now, and totally ignores Anna when she shows him her drawings.

Wth?? What the heck is skijoring??

"Pam hated it when Charlie acted like he knew more about ponies than she did."
This is payback for all the times you made someone feel stupid because you had to know everything about ponies, Pam.

Omg, that's so awful! "Acorn is happy because Snow WHite isn't here, thought Anna. Snow White might have to move to Pam's. That's okay. The Crandals have plenty of room for another pony."
Whoa. Anna is way evil sometimes.

They're eating spaghetti.
For dinner.
AGAIN.

"What are you doing to Snow White?"
That sounds dirty....

Lulu is a way annoying.

Acorn is jealous. Why isn't Charlie paying attention to him? Why is Snow White learning new tricks? Why won't Snow White play with him?
Acorn needs therapy.

WHOA!
"'You'd be a good snowboarder, Pony Pest,' said Tommy. 'You got good balance."

Pam writes about a time when her mom's horse JB started eating wood, and he told her that he missed his goat friend Queenie.
Queenie? Wasn't that the name of the sheep in #12?

Whoa. Acorn's side of the story is my life.

Remind Acorn that he is special and everything will be all right.

Mwahaha. Anna thinks Snow White should move out. Because it's her backyard, and Snow White doesn't belong there.

Pam: I think Acorn and Snow White are still fighting because you are still fighting. Animals pick up on how people feel.
Lulu: But we're fighting because our ponies are fighting.
Pam: It's a vicious circle.
Lol. A vicious circle. It's a vicious "cycle", Pam.

The exterminator joke is getting old, Tommy.

Charlie sits next to Lulu...and Mike sits next to Anna. :O He's bisexual?
Ha ha, Pam has no one.

Charlie: What's wrong with those guys? Sometimes they're okay and sometimes they're sort of dumb.
Tee hee. Just like the Pony Pals!!

Charlie is starting to sound less like a cowboy and more like a Brit.
"I have an idea! It's positively brilliant!!"

Ha. Lulu got suckered into barrel racing.

Aagh.
Mr. Olson: Mr. Charlie can make you his special Mexican burritos.
What other kind of burritos would they be eating? French burritos?
Charlie: They're muy delicioso.
Someone's been watching Dora the Explorer recently!

The Pony Pals make a pony scrapbook.
"Mr. Olson came in to get a drink. The stories were so interesting he stayed to listen."
Oh, I highly doubt that.

All of these stories are basically about how amazing Snow White is. "I used to have no friends. Then I met Snow White." "We had a costume parade. Snow White went first because she's so beautiful." "I fell in a hole, but got out all right, because I'm snow White!"

I think one of the stories is from Super Special #4...WHICH I HAVEN'T READ YET!

I don't remember this lamb business. They say they rescued a baby lamb. When was this?

Pwned. They attack Charlie and snowball him. Literally. Lol.

Oh no! If Winter Fest is cancelled, what will Anna's mother do with all the brownies she baked?
Give them to the fatty Pony Pals, of course!

Apparently Tommy is a pro snowboarder.
Anna: At least he can do something right.
Noyce.

BFFs!! I swear, this is like the Bratz movie.

Lonely, I'm so lonely, I have nobody for my own, or Pony Pals #25: The Lonely Pony

So much for this one. How long has it been since I put this on hold? Seriously, it was the most boring Pony Pals ever. I think it was because of Lulu; her books are always really lamesauce.



Plot: Lulu wakes up in the morning and finds not two, but THREE ponies in her paddock. Who is the mysterious third? Tongo, Mimi Kline's pony. It appears he ran away during the night because he's lonely. Anna takes Tongo back to Mimi's house and has Acorn stay with Tongo to make sure Tongo doesn't run away again.
Lulu is angry. Snow White has a respiratory infection and misses Acorn, but Anna doesn't seem to care at all! If only Pam were there to mediate, but she's at a jumping clinic for two days.
Pam comes back and doesn't do a very good job mediating. Anna and Lulu fight; Lulu thinks Anna is selfish and should bring Acorn back so Snow White won't be lonely. Anna thinks it's more important to take care of Tongo first so HE DOESN'T RUN AWAY AGAIN AND POSSIBLY GET HIT BY A CAR.
Time for three ideas. Pam suggests they make the fence bigger. Anna suggests they find Tongo a stablemate. Lulu has the same idea (probably written down hastily after hearing Anna's idea, no doubt), and the three go to St. Francis' Animal Shelter to pick out a nice pet.
They narrow it down to three: Max, a shy Basset Hound; Dottie, a cute pot-bellied pig; and Billy, an adorable pygmy goat.
Unfortunately, they decided to inform Mr. and Mrs. Kline of their new pet AFTER they brought it to their house.
Mimi, of course, ruins the entire situation with her bad timing. Mr. and Mrs. Kline don't like the idea of a new pet. The Pony Pals quickly decide on Billy the goat and leave him in the paddock with Tongo to see how they get along.
Not too well, it turns out. Lulu is sure that's because everyone is watching them and Billy is intimidated by them and his new surroundings. The Pony Pals decide to leave Tongo and his friend alone for a while and go on a nice, relaxing trail ride.
Wow. What a super ambiguous ending.

More notes:
"Lulu recognized the extra pony right away. It was Mimi Kline's small Shetland pony, Tongo. How did Tongo get there? Lulu wondered."
I'm assuming he walked.

"Acorn and Tongo happily sniffed noses over the fence. Snow White stood alone in the middle of the paddock. Snow White doesn't like having surprise visitors, thought Lulu."
Really, does Snow White like anybody?

Look at crap. Horrible:
Anna exchanged a smile. Mimi was cute and spoiled. Just like Tongo. And both were lots of fun.
Heh. I'd like to unleash Mrs. Sims on Jeanne Betancourt.

Anna: I think Snow White's jealous. She doesn't want to share Acorn.
Lulu: Snow White is not jealous. Tongo probably did something to her that we didn't see.
Whatever. She's jealous.

"Life in Wiggins is boring without my Pony Pals."
You're just now realizing that?

Lulu is so bored that she lets her grandmother cut her hair!!! :O

NO WAY, Grandmother Sanders gives her bangs! Lulu's hair looks pretty adorable, actually.

But not as good as mine, right? Lol.

Ugh, Lulu is so whiny.
Lulu: Is Acorn staying here tonight?
Anna: Yeah.
Lulu: But Acorn and Snow White are stablemates.
Anna: Mrs. Bell is afraid Tongo will run away again. I said I'd stay over, too.
Lulu: The Klines have to figure out how to keep Tongo in his own yard.
Anna: And we have to help them.
It's not actually their job to help people, but God forbid Lulu should do something nice for someone. "Nooo, I'd rather Tongo got hit by a car, because Snow White is SOOOO LONELY."
She has nobody for her own.

Oh no, Snow White is sick...again.

Dr. Crandal: Now let's see if she has a cough.
Dr Crandal squeezed Snow White's windpipe, and she coughed.
Uh, yeah, I'd cough, too, if someone squeezed my windpipe.

Ew, sulfur pills? Who'd want to take something that smelled like rotten eggs and came out of a volcano?

Anna makes a big mistake.
Lulu: So Acorn can't come home while Snow White is sick.
Anna: Good. It will give us time to solve the Tongo problem. We have to figure out how to keep him in his own yard.
Lulu: How can you say it's a good thing that Snow White is sick?
Anna: I didn't say it's good that Snow White's sick! I said it's good that Acorn is with Tongo. So Tongo won't run away again. We have time to solve the Tongo problem.

Lulu: The Klines should just get another pony. Then Tongo can have his own stablemate.
Hello? Ponies are uber-expensive, and Mimi has to ride Tongo IN THE DRIVEWAY!!! Something tells me the Klines don't have room for another pony.

Not to mention they run a HARDWARE STORE. Not a lot of money in that.

Haha. Anna makes another mistake.
Anna: Hi, everybody. How's Snow White? She looks better. Is he cured?
Lulu: She. Snow White is a she, you called her he.
Anna: Sorry. I just made a mistake.
You bet you did. Lol. Pony Pal fights.

Ugh, Lulu is so annoying.
"'That won't work,' Anna explained. 'Snow White doesn't like Tongo. She gets jealous.'
'Snow White is not jealous,' Lulu practically shouted at Anna.
Lulu glared at Anna. Didn't Anna understand anything about ponies? Didn't she love Snow White anymore?"
Whatever. Animals feel secondary emotions, one of those being jealousy. Snow White is SO JEALOUS.

You know how Anna always draws her ideas? Her idea this time is...a dog, a duck, and a goat. Please explain, Anna.

Remember Chicago? The cat Rosalie was obsessed with? CHICAGO LIVES!!

Anna: Tongo acts bratty sometimes. I bet Tongo did something to make Snow White angry. You know, the night he came to our paddock.
Like what? He called her a bad name? He hurt her feelings, did he?

Ew, the picture of Mr. Kline makes him look like the creepy old smoker dad from "Pretty in Pink".

"Pam hit Lulu on the head with another pillow. And Anna grabbed Lulu by both wrists while Pam tickled her. The Pony Pals had a pillow-tickle fight until they were all exhausted."
:O Wow...I have absolutely nothing to say to that.

Awww, pigs and ducks.

Oh, how droll, a duck named Crackers the Quacker! Excuse me if I don't bust my gut laughing.

Awwww, there's a REALLY CUTE picture of Pam holding some adorable puppies.

Who doesn't love pygmy goats?

Lulu wants Billy. Anna likes Dottie. Pam, who loves dogs, has bonded with Max. Guess who wins?

Lulu: Does Mrs. Kline know that Tongo is picking out a stablemate?
Anna: Not yet.
There's a 50% chance the Klines will say no, AND THEY DON'T ASK THEM FIRST??? Morons.

Tongo is attacked by a duck.

Anna tries to get Mimi to keep her mouth shut, so as not to ruin their idea with bad timing.

"Mommy! Mommy! I want Billy. I have to have him. Tongo wants him, too."
Way to go, Mimi.

Mrs. Kline is way POed. And the picture makes her look like a black man.

To calm her down, the Pony Pals bring her some cookies and lemonade.

Billy runs away, so Lulu and Pam decide to carry him to the paddock.
Mrs. Raskins: I was just going to suggest that.
Sure. Whatever.

Mrs. Kline gives Billy 5 seconds... "Hm, looks like it's not going to work. Take him back."

Billy is SO CUTE!!

The ending is so ambiguous!
Tongo and Billy: *are sort of beginning to get along*
Pam: Let's leave them alone for awhile.
Lulu: Good iea. And let's go on a trail ride. Just the Pony Pals.
Anna: Perfect.
So they ride off into the sunset...and we don't know if Billy stays or if he goes. That's a song.

So that's it. That's what I spent $4 on.
I really hate Lulu. In the very last Pony Pals book, Lulu should die a fiery death.
Lol, Jeanne Betancourt manages to squeeze like 5 Super Specials in between the last 4 books.
I have some Avalons that I still need to read. I don't know, I kind of hate that series now. Thankfully, there are only two more and then there aren't any more because Rachel Roberts decided not to write any.
I also have 8 more Madison Finn books. Sweet, right? I won't order anymore for now.
Yay, I also read "Heart to Heart" this morning, so I'll post that ASAP.

Racism runs rampant even among ponies, or Pony Pals #35: Magic Pony

I still love Pony Pals. 92 pages of bad writing and petty conflicts make my day. This particular book handles touchy topics like divorce, homosexuality, and racism in an ignorant and friendly manner.



Plot: There's a play in Wiggins! 10-12 year old boys and girls can try out for the parts of Joseph and Princess Kalandra in "The Magic Pony", a magical tale of friendship and healing. Also, because of the play's title, ponies can try out as well!
Anna wants Acorn to try out, but doesn't want to try out herself. The Pony Pals convince her otherwise. Surprisingly, Anna gets the part of Kalandra...but Acorn doesn't get a part at all! And Snow White didn't even try out, but the director requested her for the part...BECAUSE SHE'S WHITE!!!! White ponies are much more magical than bay ones, obviously.
Rema Baxter (who I thought was at boarding school) tried out as well, but is now Anna's understudy. The former-brat is being uncharacteristically nice to Anna and even invites the Pony Pals over for a sleepover!
However, all these distractions and disappointments are keeping Anna from memorizing her lines. Anna finally gives up and admits to her friends that Rema should be Kalandra instead. After harsh rebukes, Pam and Lulu tell Anna to keep trying and even help her memorize her lines. The other Pals also think Acorn should have the part of the Magic Pony instead of Snow White, who can't act at all.
They go to the director with this idea and he reluctantly agrees.
The Pony Pals band together and rebuke the devil, er, Rema, who quits the play.
But it doesn't matter. The play is a success. Now Anna has a new career in mind: acting. Oh dear. Hope you like starving to death.

More notes:
This one's not hardcover.

Only 10 to 12 year old boys and girls are allowed to try out. How agist.

Pam shows up with the poster and is like, "Let's ride to the brook and talk about it." Why can't you talk about it there??

Lulu, Lulu, Lulu. "I wonder what the Magic Pony is about." Well, it couldn't possibly be about a magic pony...

Anna doesn't want to try out; she's better at improvising than acting OTHER people's words.

Lame. Pam writes a scene for Anna to practice on to prove she can act. It's about a girl and her mother. Lulu gets to play the mother. Hysterical.

Ah, this scene sucks.
Girl: You told me I could have a pony when I was ten years old.
Mother: That's not what I said.
[OMG! This is like my life! Oggy was so old, and for years my mom kept saying, "Once we buy a house, we can buy a big dog." Then I repeated that back to her, and she's like, "I NEVER said that." Liar.]
Girl: You did, Mom. Honest. I have been waiting two whole years for a pony.
[Like when I waited 3 whole years to get a dog and they said they'd THINK ABOUT IT.]
Mother: I said we would think about getting you a pony when you were ten. I though about it. I have decided you cannot have a pony.
[OMG!!! PAM WROTE A STORY ABOUT MY LIFE!! PLAGIARISM! Dang, this mom's a drag.]
Girl: We have a big yard. I'll take care of my pony. You won't have to do anything. Please, Mom. I love ponies so much.
[You go, girl.]
Mother: Don't argue with me.
Girl: But you said-
Mother: (shouting) The answer is final! No pony.
[B****]
Girl: (crying softly) But you promised.

THE END
How depressing. I almost started crying. Anna DOES start crying.

I like how Anna's the only character that seems like a real person. She has poor parents AND dyslexia, but Pam is the best student in their class and Lulu has a perfect memory. I noticed the book didn't mention them being passive-agressive, controlling hos, but hey.

REMA BAXTER IS BACK!!! I though she was at boarding school, but I guess boarding schools let you take a break to try out in local plays.

Hahaha. This play is hilarious.
"Magic Pony takes place a long time ago in a faraway land. [Like Star Wars.] The main character is Princess Kalandra. The lovely Kalandra has a serious illness that will kill her. [Like in The Two Princesses of Bamarre.] Since early childhood, Kalandra has heard stories about a magical pony in the woods near the castle."
The Magic Pony has lived for hundreds of years and can heal terrible illnesses. How convenient.
"Kalandra dressed like an ordinary person and goes into the woods. She climbs into a tree house. From there she looks for the Magic Pony. [Yeah, that'll work. "Hm, I can't see the pony from the tree house. Must not be here."] Kalandra doesn't see the pony, but she does spot a young woodsman. This is Joseph, and Kalandra is in his tree house. Joseph and Kalandra meet and become friends. Kalandra doesn't tell Joseph that she is sick or that she is the princess. [Like "A Walk to Remember".] But she does tell him that she is searching for the pony. Joseph offers to help Kalandra find the Magic Pony."
Bla bla bla. There's more about the evil uncle Damien, who wants to drink the Magic Pony's blood. That's pretty graphic for a children's book.

William the director looks Irish. Pam is wearing really high-waisted pants WITH HER SHIRT TUCKED IN.

MIKE LACEY TRIES OUT FOR THE PLAY!!!! Wait, I thought he was in 8th grade. Doesn't that make him older than 12? And Rema was 14 in book #4. What happened there? Does she look 11?

Whoa. The director is also SIZEIST!!
Tongo is too small (oh, and he's also badly behaved).
Lightning is too big (oh, and she bites).

Of course Snow White is perfect. Because she's WHITE. He barely even looks at Acorn.

Rema straightened her hair. The look doesn't exactly work for her.

Dang, I hate Snow White.
Lol, on the cast poster they put, "THERE IS NO UNDERSTUDY FOR JOSEPH." Yes, we can see that. How unprofessional.

:O RACIST!!
Lulu: I think Acorn is a better actor.
William: Maybe you're right. But Snow White looks the part. We'll put some silver sparkles on that beautiful white coat. She'll glow in the dark woods behind the library. It will all be very magical.

Wow. This play is worse than "Eragon". "We will sell that pony's blood for gold, Joseph!"

Suddenly there's a Queen in this story?? So confused.

Anna: Rema is being nice to me. Really friendly.
Lulu: Don't trust her, Anna. She can be a real phony.
Anna: Sometimes people change.
Baby, seasons change, but people don't...and I'll always be waiting in the back room. ;)

Heh, there's a picture of Rema with her arm around Anna and Anna's all, "Get away."
I love Anna. She's boring, but overcompensates with headlines and flash, flash, flash photography. SORRY.
Rema is such a liar.

And William is such a perfectionist.
Anna: Magic Pony, where did you go?
William: Anna, the lines is, "Magic Pony, where are you?"

Rema tells Anna that if she reads her script a couple times, she'll remember all her lines. Liar.

And she invites the Pony Pals over for a sleepover??? "It'll be a lot of fun. We can play with your ponies, watch videos, and have pizza."

I bet a million bucks she'll poison the pizza. Or lure Anna into the back room and strangle her with a bridle.

If the Pony Pals really don't want to do something, they should not do it. But Pam and Lulu go to Rema's anyway.

Rema: Can I ride her bareback? I used to love to do that.
WAIT! In the play, Kalandra is supposed to ride the Magic Pony BAREBACK! SHE'S TRYING TO STEAL YOUR PART, ANNA!

Rema rents a video about Connemara ponies. In Ireland. (Duh, of course they're in Ireland; Connemaras are IRISH.) Okay, I like ponies, but these girls have to be interested in something else. Pony movies can be very boring. Especially "Black Beauty".

They make pizza themselves. Wow, is Wiggins to small for a Pizza Hut?

This girl is such a liar! Why do they believe her?
Rema: Next, let's play cards. You can choose the game.
Anna: Do you know how to play Hearts? That's my favorite card game.
Rema: Hearts is my favorite card game, too! Whenever I play it, I remember Lightning's upside-down heart.
Liar. Way to suck-up to Anna's friends. And who plays cards at a sleepover? Usually girls watch movies, listen to music, give each other makeovers (Thank God, I've only experienced this once), and gossip about other people.

Oh dear, Rema keeps them up past midnight!! THE HORROR! (Midnight? Please. Try 6 AM.)

Lulu: She invited us because she wanted to ride Snow White. If you get sick and can't be in the play, Rema would have your part. She'd be Kalandra and have to ride Snow White bareback.
Anna: But the videos and pizza and ice cream.
Uh oh. Anna is easily swayed by food...as am I.

Oh my goodness! Near the end of "Magic Pony" (the play), Damien beats Joseph!!! CHILD ABUSE!! This play's subject matter is a little disturbing. Little kids should not be reading this.

REMA HAS ALL KALANDRA'S LINES MEMORIZED!!! You're so blind, Anna.

Ew, Mike looks like a four-year-old boy.

Dang, this is community theater. Someone needs to tell William to lighten up.

Snow White was supposed to go to Anna when she gave the signal...but she goes to Rema instead. SOMETHING IS UP HERE!!!

Anna goes on a ride to blow off some steam.
*as she rides away*
Pam: Anna, stop!
Lulu: We should talk about what's bothering you!
What are you, psychiatrists? Some people need to be alone.

Lulu: We have a Pony Pal problem and we need three ideas.
Anna: Do you think that I'm a Pony Pal Problem?
Lol. Good answer.

Anna draws a hideous drawing of Rema, though it is quite lifelike.

Anna thinks she's dumb because she's dyslexic. :(

Hm, what a smashing idea, Pam. "Lulu and I should help Anna learn her lines."
Why couldn't you have done that in the first place?

Lulu: Snow White only got the part because she's white. She doesn't know any tricks or how to act.
LOL!! It's like they're not really talking about a pony. It's so true, though. Snow White doesn't have any useful talents.

Anna: I'll try your ideas, but if they don't work, I'm dropping out.
Of the play...or school?

"Magic Pony, I am very sick and will die son. I am too young to die. Will you save my life?"
That was beautiful. :P

TOMMY RAND RUNS ANNA OVER WITH HIS BIKE!! What's wrong with you, boy??? And he looks just like Mike? Thanks, Paul Bachem, you could make at least SOME distinction between the two.

Uh oh. Mike doesn't want Tommy to know he likes theater.
OMG!! MIKE LIKES THEATER!! I know that's a stereotype, but doesn't that prove he's gay?

Rema calls the play a kid's play once the Pony Pals uncover her deception. Ha.

They wonder who will play Joseph if Mike drops out. Um, why don't you have a GIRL play Joseph? Peter Pan was always a girl.

Oh dear. Mike needs to be more responsible and give his sister lunch. Otherwise she might STARVE.
Okay, come on. She's 6 YEARS OLD. I know 3 year olds that are capable of making sandwiches.

Ew, Acorn eats Rosalie's sandwich. That's DISGUSTING. Horses eat DIRT.

William doesn't even cal Snow White by her name. He just calls her "the white pony". I bet he calls Acorn "the black-and-brown pony". That's it, I'm calling the NAACP.

Tommy direspects William and William calls him a tough guy. This guy obviously does not have kids.

Mike wants to quit, but Rosalie tells him he can't...because his Dad is coming to see it.
:O Really? That would be so awful if she was making that up. But it's a Pony Pals book, so of course she isn't.

OMG!!! "Mike's father left his wife and kids to move to Chicago with a girlfriend."
What?? I thought they got divorced. He didn't do any leaving. How awful!!!

LOL.
Tommy: I'm not going to watch you in some kid's show.
Lulu: It's not just a kid's show, Tommy. It's family entertainment.

LOL. William gives Tommy a unicycle and convinces him to spread news about the play. Wow. I'd love to see that.

That's pretty much it.

I don't have any other books. Well, I have the last Balinor (XP) and two Avalons (XP) but I haven't read any of them. Tomorrow's my last day at home, anyway, and then I have to go back to school, so I'm going to rest up. I love four-day-weekends.

It's the circle of life, or Pony Pals #34: The Pony and the Lost Swan

Pony Pals, Pony Pals, oh how I missed you. It's been nothing but unicorns, magic, and teenagers for a long time. I've been missing you guys, as well as Maddie Finn.



Plot: Lulu and Snow White are riding with their friends by Lake Appamapog when they find swan feathers. Lulu is obsessed with swans, so they look around to see if they can find any, and lo and behold, there they are, out on the lake! The Pony Pals name the swan and her three cygnets stupid things and admire the beautiful scene for a million years.
Then Mr. Kline comes by in his truck and tells them about the swan's mate, which was shot with a bow and arrow last week. He also instructs them to warn people not to leave their fishing line lying around, as it could kill the swans.
The Pony Pals go out and bother Tommy, because he likes to fish.
The next day, the Pony Pals go to visit the swans again...and find Friendly and Bottom Up, two of the cygnets, all by themselves!! Where are White Feathers and Slowpoke? White Feathers would never leave her babies by themselves!
They put the two babies in a box and take them to the animal shelter.
Later, they find White Feathers tangled up in fishing line. Curse you, Tommy Rand. They send her to the animal ER, too.
White Feathers is reunited with her babies and slowly recovers, but they still can't find Slowpoke! Hm, maybe she died. But the Pony Pals are convinced the cygnet is still alive.
She is. Back to her mother she goes.
After White Feathers recovers, they take the swans back to the lake and put up a sign warning people not to leave their fishing line lying around. Everyone gathers to watch the swans frolic in the water. Joyous days.

More notes:
The copy the library gave me was a hardcover. Seriously, a hardcover Pony Pals! Ghettofabulous.

I hate that bad behavior is written off as "curiosity".

How descriptive Pam. "Swans are really beautiful and big."

"The babies are adorable, but they're brown, not white." Kind of like 101 Dalmations. "WHERE ARE THE SPOTS?"

Uh oh, these swans don't have a father. Irresponsible swan fathers, never pay child support.

Lulu: *looking at the mother swan* White Feathers. She's White Feathers.
Pam: How do you know her name?
Lulu: It just popped into my head.
Anna: It's a perfect name for her.
Hm, maybe because she has WHITE FEATHERS.

Ugh. Lulu sang to some swans in England and they started dancing. Like a ballet. Ha. Swan Lake. Okaaay, enough of that.

They sing, "Make New Friends, but Keep the Old." THAT'S A GIRL SCOUTS SONG!

They name the babies Friendly, Slowpoke, and Bottom Up (because she resembles a shot glass).

ROFL. I love how blunt Mr. Kline is.
Anna: I wonder where he is now.
Mr. Kline: The male was killed last week.
Pam: That's so awful.
Lulu: How was he killed?
Mr. Kline: He was shot with a bow and arrow. His mate was very upset.
They should try to solve the mystery of this swan's murder. Like on "Monk".

OMG!!!
Mr. Kline: There were four cygnets the last time I was here. I guess one of them didn't make it.
Lulu: Was the cygnet shot with a bow and arrow, too?
Mr. Kline: I don't think so. I bet a snapping turtle got it. They go after cygnets and goslings. Or a hawk could have swooped down and taken it.
I love how he's casually chatting about death with 10-year-old girls!! This is hilarious!

Tommy: Let's go, Mike.
Mike: Sure. We're out of here, buddy.
Buddy? They're so gay together. Or at least Mike likes Tommy, like Dumbledore liked Gellert.

Ooh, the Pony Pals get in a fight with those rowdy boys.
Tommy: The BORING Pony Pests!
Anna: The DUMB, RUDE Bike Buddies!
Oh dear, this is getting heated.

They eat grilled-cheese-and-TOMATO sandwiches. This is an improvement. At least they're getting their vegetables.

Snow White gets caught in some fishing line. Heh.

How random. Friendly and Bottom Up pop out of nowhere.

Lulu is the best detective. Acorn is the best pony detective. They should work together.
That's seriously how sentences go in this book.

Dang, White Feathers has fish hooks stuck in her body. Ouch.

Pam isn't the best problem solver. "If we cut the fishing line, she could swim away with the hooks. If we take out the hooks, she could bleed."
How about you take her to the ANIMAL HOSPITAL.

I find it hard to believe that Ms. Raskins is the only one working at the shelter right now. Take a break and save the swan. "No, I'm busy, you irresponsible 10-year-olds need to bring it to me yourselves."

They enlist the help of Mr. Kline.

Whatever. This swan would be attacking them. Swans are MEAN. But White Feathers sits calmly while they remove pieces of metal from her flesh.

Whoa, since when is Mr. Kline a fireman? He owns a hardware store!

"We don't want to frighten her by bringing her indoors. There's a hawk in the examining room."
HA. That could end badly.

In the picture, there are THREE babies, but in the story, one is still missing. Way to go, Paul Bachem.

Ms. Raskins is lame. She complains about being overworked and understaffed a lot. How many animals could there be in Wiggins, Population 24?

The Pony Pals have to take care of White Feathers themselves. Laaame.

White Feathers almost chokes to death on some food because of some fishing line. And she lets Lulu cut it off her. THIS IS NOT TYPICAL SWAN BEHAVIOR.

Lulu has such a connection with animals. Not so much with people.
Actually, that's true of me, too.

First there were four swan babies. Then there were three.
ROFL.

Anna thinks Slowpoke is lost forever. Lulu reprimands her friend for being such a pessimist.
Actually, Lulu, it's called realism.

"The Pony Pests are everywhere. Call the exterminator!"
Ha. Ha. Ha.

Oh dear, Tommy starts mimicking Anna. What a jerk. Wait, these boys are how old??

Uh oh. Mike agrees to be more careful with his fishing line, but Tommy refuses. Come on, Mike, convince your boyfriend to obey.

EW, Mike looks exactly like this kid I used to HATE in 6th grade.

They find Slowpoke. She was pretending to be a bump on a log. No lies.

The Pony Pals do these late night watch things quite often and never seem to get tired.

Lulu thinks of their adventure with White Feathers as a horror movie with some happy parts. Hopefully it will have a happy ending. Darn. I was looking for a gory ending.

LAME. They decide to make a sign about the swans, and assume that Mr. Kline will donate the supplies they need because they cost a lot of money and it's for a good cause. The Pony Pals, I've noticed, aren't exactly smart about money.

Anna: Where's your bad-boy buddy?
Mike: Stop saying Tommy's bad. You just don't know him like I do. He's a great guy.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAY WHEN YOU'RE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP! MIKE IS GAY FOR TOMMY!

They suspect Tommy of killing the male swan!! :O

It wasn't him. But the Pony Pals want to assume it was. Because they're prejudiced.

Everyone surrounds the swans and sings "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" to them. LOL. Then the book ends with the typical thanking of the ponies. "Thank you. Thank you for saving the swans." How redundant.

That one wasn't as good as "The Magic Pony", where Mike is even gayer for Tommy, Rema straightens her hair, and Anna decides to be an actress. What drama. Oh, and we learn the real reason behind Mr. and Mrs. Lacey's divorce!!

Ghost ponies are entirely probable, or Pony Pals #31: Ponies From the Past

I love how this is the only cover where Lulu actually looks 10-years-old.



Plot: Lulu and Snow White are out riding with their pals Anna and Acorn when Snow White finds a jar inside a hollow log. Curious, Lulu looks inside and finds a later from 1918 written from one young girl (AW) to another (LS). In the letter, AW talks about ponies and boys and things that the Pony Pals often talk about. Lulu feels that AW and LS are kindred spirits and takes the letter to Pam. Pam, being Pam, feels like they should further explore this "mystery": Who is LS? Who is AW? Why didn't LS ever receive the letter?
They go to the Historical Society and look up people with the initials "AW" or "LS" that were born in 1908. How do they know when the girls were born? They could have been 18, not 10!
It turns out "LS", or Lydia Simpson-Eastman, is still alive and lives in a nursing home, so the Pony Pals go visit her. She tells them all about "AW" (or Abigail Wiggins-Stevenson) and herself and their ponies, Bangles and Wildflower. The Pony Pals are shocked to discover that Lydia is Mike Lacey's great grandmother! :O
Bla bla bla, a bunch of boring stuff where they look at some more old letters. Moving on.
Abigail's letters mentioned a secret field, so the Pony Pals seek out the field and go on a ride with Mrs. Wiggins and Lydia in the pony cart and Mike on his bike. They feel like the spirits of Bangles, Wildflower, and Abigail are with them. Lame.

More notes:
Aaargh. Snow White refuses to jump over the fallen tree. She's not curious, just badly behaved.

Lulu won't open the jar until Pam shows up. I guess she learned after that "Sell the pony to Pam's mom" stunt.

Pam doesn't want to open the jar. "We shouldn't read someone else's mail." You should if they're DEAD.

Abigail and Lydia were pestered by boys named George O. and Edwin P. *gasp* JUST LIKE THE PONY PALS!!

"Even John doesn't know about our secret riding field, where girls and ponies are free."
No comment.

Abigail included a really awful drawing with the letter.

What kind of name is Bangles?

Ew, Tommy is blonde in one of the pictures. Mike is a hottie, lol. The Pony Pals are all wearing mom jeans and baggy shirts.

Acorn attacks Tommy.

Anna: Let's go. We've go better things to do than be insulted by Tommy the Teddy Bear and his sidekick, Mike.
Ooooh. Not.

Hm, AW, who lives in Wiggins. Could her last name be Wiggins?

FOR THE LOVE OF DONUTS, they're eating brownies AGAIN!

Pam is an idiot.
Ms. Wiggins: A is for Abigail. My great-aunt Abigail Stevenson. My grandfather was John Wiggins, Abigail's brother. He must be the one who put the letter in the three.
Pam: AW can't be Abigail Stevenson. We're looking for AW, not AS.
Duh, Pam, she got MARRIED.

Ugh. "Maybe the ghosts of the ponies are still in the field."

Oh, gotcha, they find Abigail's birthdate in the family Bible. I'm surprised they even are allowed to MENTION the Bible in this book.

Wait, that doesn't mean Lydia was born in the same year!

Ha ha. Lydia Simpson and Lulu Sanders. SAME INITIALS!

Okay, they look at people born in 1908, but it's not in alphabetical order?? That doesn't make sense to me.

Yeah, let's go visit an old woman and talk about the death of her baby brother!

Oh no, she's Mike's great-grandmother!! She's all, "He's a WONDERFUL boy. You would LOVE him."
Pony Pals: Um, not so much....

Bangles was a Shetland, too. Hm, how interesting.

Laaame. "Hey, here come the Pony Pals! Quick! Call the exterminator!"

Owned, Mike is all, "DON'T MAKE FUN OF MY GRANDMA, TOMMY!"

Mike and the Pony Pals dress in "silly" hats and look at the letters together.

Okay, I know what a false bottom is, but as soon as I read that I started laughing. So immature, I know. Lol.

Mike is named after his great-grandma's baby brother who died of influenza in 1908. Nice.

Lame. The Pony Pals are all, "Mike, you're George O. and Tommy is Edwin P. You're so much cooler without Edwin, I mean, TOMMY."

Lulu: Do you remember Lydia's dream? The one she wrote about in the letter?
Pam: She and Abigail were riding with three other girls and their ponies.
Lulu: Three girls like us.
Creepy....

Ew, there's a picture of Abigail and Lydia and their ponies. The ponies are hideous (as usual), but Lydia looks sort of like Lulu, only uglier, and Abigail looks like Anne of Green Gables, and it seems like she's about to cry.

Don't worry, they're nice ghosts! Yeah, right.

They keep quoting the letter and talking in creepy voices!

WHAT KIND OF LAST SENTENCES ARE THESE?
"'Thank you,' she whispered in her pony's ear. 'Thank you for leading us to the past.'"
That was too weird for me.

I have an Avalon to finish, the last one in the series *gasp*! Don't worry, there's a whole nother Avalon series, which I will read. And then we have more Pony Pals!
I still need to finish my Pony Pal collage, seriously.