Plot: There's a play in Wiggins! 10-12 year old boys and girls can try out for the parts of Joseph and Princess Kalandra in "The Magic Pony", a magical tale of friendship and healing. Also, because of the play's title, ponies can try out as well!
Anna wants Acorn to try out, but doesn't want to try out herself. The Pony Pals convince her otherwise. Surprisingly, Anna gets the part of Kalandra...but Acorn doesn't get a part at all! And Snow White didn't even try out, but the director requested her for the part...BECAUSE SHE'S WHITE!!!! White ponies are much more magical than bay ones, obviously.
Rema Baxter (who I thought was at boarding school) tried out as well, but is now Anna's understudy. The former-brat is being uncharacteristically nice to Anna and even invites the Pony Pals over for a sleepover!
However, all these distractions and disappointments are keeping Anna from memorizing her lines. Anna finally gives up and admits to her friends that Rema should be Kalandra instead. After harsh rebukes, Pam and Lulu tell Anna to keep trying and even help her memorize her lines. The other Pals also think Acorn should have the part of the Magic Pony instead of Snow White, who can't act at all.
They go to the director with this idea and he reluctantly agrees.
The Pony Pals band together and rebuke the devil, er, Rema, who quits the play.
But it doesn't matter. The play is a success. Now Anna has a new career in mind: acting. Oh dear. Hope you like starving to death.
More notes:
This one's not hardcover.
Only 10 to 12 year old boys and girls are allowed to try out. How agist.
Pam shows up with the poster and is like, "Let's ride to the brook and talk about it." Why can't you talk about it there??
Lulu, Lulu, Lulu. "I wonder what the Magic Pony is about." Well, it couldn't possibly be about a magic pony...
Anna doesn't want to try out; she's better at improvising than acting OTHER people's words.
Lame. Pam writes a scene for Anna to practice on to prove she can act. It's about a girl and her mother. Lulu gets to play the mother. Hysterical.
Ah, this scene sucks.
Girl: You told me I could have a pony when I was ten years old.
Mother: That's not what I said.
[OMG! This is like my life! Oggy was so old, and for years my mom kept saying, "Once we buy a house, we can buy a big dog." Then I repeated that back to her, and she's like, "I NEVER said that." Liar.]
Girl: You did, Mom. Honest. I have been waiting two whole years for a pony.
[Like when I waited 3 whole years to get a dog and they said they'd THINK ABOUT IT.]
Mother: I said we would think about getting you a pony when you were ten. I though about it. I have decided you cannot have a pony.
[OMG!!! PAM WROTE A STORY ABOUT MY LIFE!! PLAGIARISM! Dang, this mom's a drag.]
Girl: We have a big yard. I'll take care of my pony. You won't have to do anything. Please, Mom. I love ponies so much.
[You go, girl.]
Mother: Don't argue with me.
Girl: But you said-
Mother: (shouting) The answer is final! No pony.
[B****]
Girl: (crying softly) But you promised.
THE END
How depressing. I almost started crying. Anna DOES start crying.
I like how Anna's the only character that seems like a real person. She has poor parents AND dyslexia, but Pam is the best student in their class and Lulu has a perfect memory. I noticed the book didn't mention them being passive-agressive, controlling hos, but hey.
REMA BAXTER IS BACK!!! I though she was at boarding school, but I guess boarding schools let you take a break to try out in local plays.
Hahaha. This play is hilarious.
"Magic Pony takes place a long time ago in a faraway land. [Like Star Wars.] The main character is Princess Kalandra. The lovely Kalandra has a serious illness that will kill her. [Like in The Two Princesses of Bamarre.] Since early childhood, Kalandra has heard stories about a magical pony in the woods near the castle."
The Magic Pony has lived for hundreds of years and can heal terrible illnesses. How convenient.
"Kalandra dressed like an ordinary person and goes into the woods. She climbs into a tree house. From there she looks for the Magic Pony. [Yeah, that'll work. "Hm, I can't see the pony from the tree house. Must not be here."] Kalandra doesn't see the pony, but she does spot a young woodsman. This is Joseph, and Kalandra is in his tree house. Joseph and Kalandra meet and become friends. Kalandra doesn't tell Joseph that she is sick or that she is the princess. [Like "A Walk to Remember".] But she does tell him that she is searching for the pony. Joseph offers to help Kalandra find the Magic Pony."
Bla bla bla. There's more about the evil uncle Damien, who wants to drink the Magic Pony's blood. That's pretty graphic for a children's book.
William the director looks Irish. Pam is wearing really high-waisted pants WITH HER SHIRT TUCKED IN.
MIKE LACEY TRIES OUT FOR THE PLAY!!!! Wait, I thought he was in 8th grade. Doesn't that make him older than 12? And Rema was 14 in book #4. What happened there? Does she look 11?
Whoa. The director is also SIZEIST!!
Tongo is too small (oh, and he's also badly behaved).
Lightning is too big (oh, and she bites).
Of course Snow White is perfect. Because she's WHITE. He barely even looks at Acorn.
Rema straightened her hair. The look doesn't exactly work for her.
Dang, I hate Snow White.
Lol, on the cast poster they put, "THERE IS NO UNDERSTUDY FOR JOSEPH." Yes, we can see that. How unprofessional.
:O RACIST!!
Lulu: I think Acorn is a better actor.
William: Maybe you're right. But Snow White looks the part. We'll put some silver sparkles on that beautiful white coat. She'll glow in the dark woods behind the library. It will all be very magical.
Wow. This play is worse than "Eragon". "We will sell that pony's blood for gold, Joseph!"
Suddenly there's a Queen in this story?? So confused.
Anna: Rema is being nice to me. Really friendly.
Lulu: Don't trust her, Anna. She can be a real phony.
Anna: Sometimes people change.
Baby, seasons change, but people don't...and I'll always be waiting in the back room. ;)
Heh, there's a picture of Rema with her arm around Anna and Anna's all, "Get away."
I love Anna. She's boring, but overcompensates with headlines and flash, flash, flash photography. SORRY.
Rema is such a liar.
And William is such a perfectionist.
Anna: Magic Pony, where did you go?
William: Anna, the lines is, "Magic Pony, where are you?"
Rema tells Anna that if she reads her script a couple times, she'll remember all her lines. Liar.
And she invites the Pony Pals over for a sleepover??? "It'll be a lot of fun. We can play with your ponies, watch videos, and have pizza."
I bet a million bucks she'll poison the pizza. Or lure Anna into the back room and strangle her with a bridle.
If the Pony Pals really don't want to do something, they should not do it. But Pam and Lulu go to Rema's anyway.
Rema: Can I ride her bareback? I used to love to do that.
WAIT! In the play, Kalandra is supposed to ride the Magic Pony BAREBACK! SHE'S TRYING TO STEAL YOUR PART, ANNA!
Rema rents a video about Connemara ponies. In Ireland. (Duh, of course they're in Ireland; Connemaras are IRISH.) Okay, I like ponies, but these girls have to be interested in something else. Pony movies can be very boring. Especially "Black Beauty".
They make pizza themselves. Wow, is Wiggins to small for a Pizza Hut?
This girl is such a liar! Why do they believe her?
Rema: Next, let's play cards. You can choose the game.
Anna: Do you know how to play Hearts? That's my favorite card game.
Rema: Hearts is my favorite card game, too! Whenever I play it, I remember Lightning's upside-down heart.
Liar. Way to suck-up to Anna's friends. And who plays cards at a sleepover? Usually girls watch movies, listen to music, give each other makeovers (Thank God, I've only experienced this once), and gossip about other people.
Oh dear, Rema keeps them up past midnight!! THE HORROR! (Midnight? Please. Try 6 AM.)
Lulu: She invited us because she wanted to ride Snow White. If you get sick and can't be in the play, Rema would have your part. She'd be Kalandra and have to ride Snow White bareback.
Anna: But the videos and pizza and ice cream.
Uh oh. Anna is easily swayed by food...as am I.
Oh my goodness! Near the end of "Magic Pony" (the play), Damien beats Joseph!!! CHILD ABUSE!! This play's subject matter is a little disturbing. Little kids should not be reading this.
REMA HAS ALL KALANDRA'S LINES MEMORIZED!!! You're so blind, Anna.
Ew, Mike looks like a four-year-old boy.
Dang, this is community theater. Someone needs to tell William to lighten up.
Snow White was supposed to go to Anna when she gave the signal...but she goes to Rema instead. SOMETHING IS UP HERE!!!
Anna goes on a ride to blow off some steam.
*as she rides away*
Pam: Anna, stop!
Lulu: We should talk about what's bothering you!
What are you, psychiatrists? Some people need to be alone.
Lulu: We have a Pony Pal problem and we need three ideas.
Anna: Do you think that I'm a Pony Pal Problem?
Lol. Good answer.
Anna draws a hideous drawing of Rema, though it is quite lifelike.
Anna thinks she's dumb because she's dyslexic. :(
Hm, what a smashing idea, Pam. "Lulu and I should help Anna learn her lines."
Why couldn't you have done that in the first place?
Lulu: Snow White only got the part because she's white. She doesn't know any tricks or how to act.
LOL!! It's like they're not really talking about a pony. It's so true, though. Snow White doesn't have any useful talents.
Anna: I'll try your ideas, but if they don't work, I'm dropping out.
Of the play...or school?
"Magic Pony, I am very sick and will die son. I am too young to die. Will you save my life?"
That was beautiful. :P
TOMMY RAND RUNS ANNA OVER WITH HIS BIKE!! What's wrong with you, boy??? And he looks just like Mike? Thanks, Paul Bachem, you could make at least SOME distinction between the two.
Uh oh. Mike doesn't want Tommy to know he likes theater.
OMG!! MIKE LIKES THEATER!! I know that's a stereotype, but doesn't that prove he's gay?
Rema calls the play a kid's play once the Pony Pals uncover her deception. Ha.
They wonder who will play Joseph if Mike drops out. Um, why don't you have a GIRL play Joseph? Peter Pan was always a girl.
Oh dear. Mike needs to be more responsible and give his sister lunch. Otherwise she might STARVE.
Okay, come on. She's 6 YEARS OLD. I know 3 year olds that are capable of making sandwiches.
Ew, Acorn eats Rosalie's sandwich. That's DISGUSTING. Horses eat DIRT.
William doesn't even cal Snow White by her name. He just calls her "the white pony". I bet he calls Acorn "the black-and-brown pony". That's it, I'm calling the NAACP.
Tommy direspects William and William calls him a tough guy. This guy obviously does not have kids.
Mike wants to quit, but Rosalie tells him he can't...because his Dad is coming to see it.
:O Really? That would be so awful if she was making that up. But it's a Pony Pals book, so of course she isn't.
OMG!!! "Mike's father left his wife and kids to move to Chicago with a girlfriend."
What?? I thought they got divorced. He didn't do any leaving. How awful!!!
LOL.
Tommy: I'm not going to watch you in some kid's show.
Lulu: It's not just a kid's show, Tommy. It's family entertainment.
LOL. William gives Tommy a unicycle and convinces him to spread news about the play. Wow. I'd love to see that.
That's pretty much it.
I don't have any other books. Well, I have the last Balinor (XP) and two Avalons (XP) but I haven't read any of them. Tomorrow's my last day at home, anyway, and then I have to go back to school, so I'm going to rest up. I love four-day-weekends.
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