I swear this was in Balto, or Avalon: Quest For Magic #3: Ghost Wolf

I'm not kidding. In "Balto II", Aleou was in that cave with the creepy Inuit mouse who told her to find herself in the spirit world or whatever, and then he started singing.
That pretty much sums up the entire book.
Well, not really, but it was a lot of weird, freaky spirit world stuff that I didn't get AT ALL.



Plot: Adriane and Dreamer have been having a lot of trouble communicating lately. Dreamer has been acting wild and out of control, rather like the machine functions we were learning about in math class.
One day, after a disastrous tour, Adriane runs home to find Dreamer standing over a fallen Gran!! Gran is now in a coma, and Adriane partially blames Dreamer.
Adriane has also been having weird dreams about the forest guardian Orenda. Orenda is in "great peril" - someone is attacking her! Adriane wishes she could help, but doesn't know where to find this lost forest guardian.
More magical drama: Adriane starts lashing out at her friends, her parents finally return to take Adriane with them to New York, someone is trying to destroy Ravenswood, etc., etc., etc.
Finally, Adriane's world comes crashing down; Dreamer attacks Beasley Windor and is taken away by Animal Control.
Thankfully, the students at school start a petition to save Ravenswood, and Zach and Drake show up to help Adriane in her time of need.
Oh no, it turns out the Spirit Pack (the huge pack of dead mistwolves that Stormbringer, Adriane's old mistwolf, belongs to) is missing! If they are gone too long, all the mistwolves will lose their magic! No wonder Dreamer is so crazy!
Rescue mission! Adriane finds Dreamer at the local zoo, but he has been possessed by an evil mistwolf named Chain! They tussle, but of course Adriane wins. Not sure how, but she does.
To save all the mistwolves and find the spirit pack, Adriane and Dreamer will have to find the magic power crystal, which is located on the spirit path. ????? So confused.
So they find the power crystal, but there's this whole battle with the Spider Witch and Dark Sorceress.
Then, in a random plot twist, it turns out Stormbringer is alive!!! She, Adriane, and Dreamer fight together, because working together is precious, bla bla bla, so weird.
Then, at the end, a demon-possessed Orenda starts attacking everyone. With no way to save her, Adriane kills her. Now there is no forest spirit! Stormbringer steps forward to take on that difficult position. Adriane protests, as she just got her friend back, but Storm insists. Oh well.
Now Storm is Adriane's paladin, and Adriane is a level 2 mage.
Also, Dreamer is back to normal, Gran has healed, and Adriane's parents have decided that they'd rather move to New York WITHOUT Adriane. Yaaaay.

I don't understand these books at all. Thank goodness there's only one left in the series.

Evil in the form of Halley's Comet, or Unicorns of Balinor #8: Shadows over Balinor

I'm SOOO glad to be done with this series. I don't understand how they can give this description for the last book, though:
Princess Arianna inquires about the past and learns the truth about the fall of the great unicorns from the Celestial Valley. She uncovers the truth about shifting magic and how that power has led the fallen unicorns into the shadows--to become the evil Shadow Unicorns.
The book never talks exclusively about Celestial Valley and the missing Shadow Unicorns are mentioned ONCE. Mostly this book is rather confusing and has sort of a lame ending.



Plot: Right, so Shifter is dead, all the Royal Unicorns have returned, and the war is over. What else is there to worry about? Well, there's the Kraken, though he appeared dead in the last book. No, the Kraken is back with a vengeance, and if Arianna doesn't stop a giant comet from landing and transferring its powers to him, Balinor is doomed!
???
First, our cast of regular characters is joined by an annoying named Odie ("Fightin's my game!"), who brings Ari a map to Shadowview (formerly Demonview). The princess must travel there to find the Royal Archivist (they don't say why).
They go. Pointless things happen, mainly for filler, I'm sure.
Then they find the Archivist, and it turns out LINCOLN IS THE LINK!!!
The Link?
They never fully explain what that is, but it's something important.
They defeat the Kraken and destroy the asteroid/comet/thing.
Lincoln chooses to remain with Ari, so now they have to find a new Link.
Ari still hasn't found her parents or brothers, and it seems no one has any intention of ever taking Lori back across the Gap.
It was way too confusing. Hopefully I'll have some nonmagic Madison Finns by tomorrow. Unfortunately, I have to skip #11 and #12 for now. Oh well.

Racism runs rampant even among ponies, or Pony Pals #35: Magic Pony

I still love Pony Pals. 92 pages of bad writing and petty conflicts make my day. This particular book handles touchy topics like divorce, homosexuality, and racism in an ignorant and friendly manner.



Plot: There's a play in Wiggins! 10-12 year old boys and girls can try out for the parts of Joseph and Princess Kalandra in "The Magic Pony", a magical tale of friendship and healing. Also, because of the play's title, ponies can try out as well!
Anna wants Acorn to try out, but doesn't want to try out herself. The Pony Pals convince her otherwise. Surprisingly, Anna gets the part of Kalandra...but Acorn doesn't get a part at all! And Snow White didn't even try out, but the director requested her for the part...BECAUSE SHE'S WHITE!!!! White ponies are much more magical than bay ones, obviously.
Rema Baxter (who I thought was at boarding school) tried out as well, but is now Anna's understudy. The former-brat is being uncharacteristically nice to Anna and even invites the Pony Pals over for a sleepover!
However, all these distractions and disappointments are keeping Anna from memorizing her lines. Anna finally gives up and admits to her friends that Rema should be Kalandra instead. After harsh rebukes, Pam and Lulu tell Anna to keep trying and even help her memorize her lines. The other Pals also think Acorn should have the part of the Magic Pony instead of Snow White, who can't act at all.
They go to the director with this idea and he reluctantly agrees.
The Pony Pals band together and rebuke the devil, er, Rema, who quits the play.
But it doesn't matter. The play is a success. Now Anna has a new career in mind: acting. Oh dear. Hope you like starving to death.

More notes:
This one's not hardcover.

Only 10 to 12 year old boys and girls are allowed to try out. How agist.

Pam shows up with the poster and is like, "Let's ride to the brook and talk about it." Why can't you talk about it there??

Lulu, Lulu, Lulu. "I wonder what the Magic Pony is about." Well, it couldn't possibly be about a magic pony...

Anna doesn't want to try out; she's better at improvising than acting OTHER people's words.

Lame. Pam writes a scene for Anna to practice on to prove she can act. It's about a girl and her mother. Lulu gets to play the mother. Hysterical.

Ah, this scene sucks.
Girl: You told me I could have a pony when I was ten years old.
Mother: That's not what I said.
[OMG! This is like my life! Oggy was so old, and for years my mom kept saying, "Once we buy a house, we can buy a big dog." Then I repeated that back to her, and she's like, "I NEVER said that." Liar.]
Girl: You did, Mom. Honest. I have been waiting two whole years for a pony.
[Like when I waited 3 whole years to get a dog and they said they'd THINK ABOUT IT.]
Mother: I said we would think about getting you a pony when you were ten. I though about it. I have decided you cannot have a pony.
[OMG!!! PAM WROTE A STORY ABOUT MY LIFE!! PLAGIARISM! Dang, this mom's a drag.]
Girl: We have a big yard. I'll take care of my pony. You won't have to do anything. Please, Mom. I love ponies so much.
[You go, girl.]
Mother: Don't argue with me.
Girl: But you said-
Mother: (shouting) The answer is final! No pony.
[B****]
Girl: (crying softly) But you promised.

THE END
How depressing. I almost started crying. Anna DOES start crying.

I like how Anna's the only character that seems like a real person. She has poor parents AND dyslexia, but Pam is the best student in their class and Lulu has a perfect memory. I noticed the book didn't mention them being passive-agressive, controlling hos, but hey.

REMA BAXTER IS BACK!!! I though she was at boarding school, but I guess boarding schools let you take a break to try out in local plays.

Hahaha. This play is hilarious.
"Magic Pony takes place a long time ago in a faraway land. [Like Star Wars.] The main character is Princess Kalandra. The lovely Kalandra has a serious illness that will kill her. [Like in The Two Princesses of Bamarre.] Since early childhood, Kalandra has heard stories about a magical pony in the woods near the castle."
The Magic Pony has lived for hundreds of years and can heal terrible illnesses. How convenient.
"Kalandra dressed like an ordinary person and goes into the woods. She climbs into a tree house. From there she looks for the Magic Pony. [Yeah, that'll work. "Hm, I can't see the pony from the tree house. Must not be here."] Kalandra doesn't see the pony, but she does spot a young woodsman. This is Joseph, and Kalandra is in his tree house. Joseph and Kalandra meet and become friends. Kalandra doesn't tell Joseph that she is sick or that she is the princess. [Like "A Walk to Remember".] But she does tell him that she is searching for the pony. Joseph offers to help Kalandra find the Magic Pony."
Bla bla bla. There's more about the evil uncle Damien, who wants to drink the Magic Pony's blood. That's pretty graphic for a children's book.

William the director looks Irish. Pam is wearing really high-waisted pants WITH HER SHIRT TUCKED IN.

MIKE LACEY TRIES OUT FOR THE PLAY!!!! Wait, I thought he was in 8th grade. Doesn't that make him older than 12? And Rema was 14 in book #4. What happened there? Does she look 11?

Whoa. The director is also SIZEIST!!
Tongo is too small (oh, and he's also badly behaved).
Lightning is too big (oh, and she bites).

Of course Snow White is perfect. Because she's WHITE. He barely even looks at Acorn.

Rema straightened her hair. The look doesn't exactly work for her.

Dang, I hate Snow White.
Lol, on the cast poster they put, "THERE IS NO UNDERSTUDY FOR JOSEPH." Yes, we can see that. How unprofessional.

:O RACIST!!
Lulu: I think Acorn is a better actor.
William: Maybe you're right. But Snow White looks the part. We'll put some silver sparkles on that beautiful white coat. She'll glow in the dark woods behind the library. It will all be very magical.

Wow. This play is worse than "Eragon". "We will sell that pony's blood for gold, Joseph!"

Suddenly there's a Queen in this story?? So confused.

Anna: Rema is being nice to me. Really friendly.
Lulu: Don't trust her, Anna. She can be a real phony.
Anna: Sometimes people change.
Baby, seasons change, but people don't...and I'll always be waiting in the back room. ;)

Heh, there's a picture of Rema with her arm around Anna and Anna's all, "Get away."
I love Anna. She's boring, but overcompensates with headlines and flash, flash, flash photography. SORRY.
Rema is such a liar.

And William is such a perfectionist.
Anna: Magic Pony, where did you go?
William: Anna, the lines is, "Magic Pony, where are you?"

Rema tells Anna that if she reads her script a couple times, she'll remember all her lines. Liar.

And she invites the Pony Pals over for a sleepover??? "It'll be a lot of fun. We can play with your ponies, watch videos, and have pizza."

I bet a million bucks she'll poison the pizza. Or lure Anna into the back room and strangle her with a bridle.

If the Pony Pals really don't want to do something, they should not do it. But Pam and Lulu go to Rema's anyway.

Rema: Can I ride her bareback? I used to love to do that.
WAIT! In the play, Kalandra is supposed to ride the Magic Pony BAREBACK! SHE'S TRYING TO STEAL YOUR PART, ANNA!

Rema rents a video about Connemara ponies. In Ireland. (Duh, of course they're in Ireland; Connemaras are IRISH.) Okay, I like ponies, but these girls have to be interested in something else. Pony movies can be very boring. Especially "Black Beauty".

They make pizza themselves. Wow, is Wiggins to small for a Pizza Hut?

This girl is such a liar! Why do they believe her?
Rema: Next, let's play cards. You can choose the game.
Anna: Do you know how to play Hearts? That's my favorite card game.
Rema: Hearts is my favorite card game, too! Whenever I play it, I remember Lightning's upside-down heart.
Liar. Way to suck-up to Anna's friends. And who plays cards at a sleepover? Usually girls watch movies, listen to music, give each other makeovers (Thank God, I've only experienced this once), and gossip about other people.

Oh dear, Rema keeps them up past midnight!! THE HORROR! (Midnight? Please. Try 6 AM.)

Lulu: She invited us because she wanted to ride Snow White. If you get sick and can't be in the play, Rema would have your part. She'd be Kalandra and have to ride Snow White bareback.
Anna: But the videos and pizza and ice cream.
Uh oh. Anna is easily swayed by food...as am I.

Oh my goodness! Near the end of "Magic Pony" (the play), Damien beats Joseph!!! CHILD ABUSE!! This play's subject matter is a little disturbing. Little kids should not be reading this.

REMA HAS ALL KALANDRA'S LINES MEMORIZED!!! You're so blind, Anna.

Ew, Mike looks like a four-year-old boy.

Dang, this is community theater. Someone needs to tell William to lighten up.

Snow White was supposed to go to Anna when she gave the signal...but she goes to Rema instead. SOMETHING IS UP HERE!!!

Anna goes on a ride to blow off some steam.
*as she rides away*
Pam: Anna, stop!
Lulu: We should talk about what's bothering you!
What are you, psychiatrists? Some people need to be alone.

Lulu: We have a Pony Pal problem and we need three ideas.
Anna: Do you think that I'm a Pony Pal Problem?
Lol. Good answer.

Anna draws a hideous drawing of Rema, though it is quite lifelike.

Anna thinks she's dumb because she's dyslexic. :(

Hm, what a smashing idea, Pam. "Lulu and I should help Anna learn her lines."
Why couldn't you have done that in the first place?

Lulu: Snow White only got the part because she's white. She doesn't know any tricks or how to act.
LOL!! It's like they're not really talking about a pony. It's so true, though. Snow White doesn't have any useful talents.

Anna: I'll try your ideas, but if they don't work, I'm dropping out.
Of the play...or school?

"Magic Pony, I am very sick and will die son. I am too young to die. Will you save my life?"
That was beautiful. :P

TOMMY RAND RUNS ANNA OVER WITH HIS BIKE!! What's wrong with you, boy??? And he looks just like Mike? Thanks, Paul Bachem, you could make at least SOME distinction between the two.

Uh oh. Mike doesn't want Tommy to know he likes theater.
OMG!! MIKE LIKES THEATER!! I know that's a stereotype, but doesn't that prove he's gay?

Rema calls the play a kid's play once the Pony Pals uncover her deception. Ha.

They wonder who will play Joseph if Mike drops out. Um, why don't you have a GIRL play Joseph? Peter Pan was always a girl.

Oh dear. Mike needs to be more responsible and give his sister lunch. Otherwise she might STARVE.
Okay, come on. She's 6 YEARS OLD. I know 3 year olds that are capable of making sandwiches.

Ew, Acorn eats Rosalie's sandwich. That's DISGUSTING. Horses eat DIRT.

William doesn't even cal Snow White by her name. He just calls her "the white pony". I bet he calls Acorn "the black-and-brown pony". That's it, I'm calling the NAACP.

Tommy direspects William and William calls him a tough guy. This guy obviously does not have kids.

Mike wants to quit, but Rosalie tells him he can't...because his Dad is coming to see it.
:O Really? That would be so awful if she was making that up. But it's a Pony Pals book, so of course she isn't.

OMG!!! "Mike's father left his wife and kids to move to Chicago with a girlfriend."
What?? I thought they got divorced. He didn't do any leaving. How awful!!!

LOL.
Tommy: I'm not going to watch you in some kid's show.
Lulu: It's not just a kid's show, Tommy. It's family entertainment.

LOL. William gives Tommy a unicycle and convinces him to spread news about the play. Wow. I'd love to see that.

That's pretty much it.

I don't have any other books. Well, I have the last Balinor (XP) and two Avalons (XP) but I haven't read any of them. Tomorrow's my last day at home, anyway, and then I have to go back to school, so I'm going to rest up. I love four-day-weekends.

Fairies are just beautiful hippies, or Avalon: Quest for Magic #2: All's Fairy in Love & War

I love how I have no time to post now. I get home after basketball and don't really care about going on the computer as much as I do finishing my homework and watching "American Idol".



Plot:
Kara, who won't settle for being ordinary, has scored the lead in the school play, "A Midsummer Night's Dream". (Lead being Queen Tatiana) However, she is just semi-stressed out, as her fellow mages are depending on her, there are rehearsals every day, and for some reason, she can't get her jewel to work!
Then, one particularly harrowing day, a bunch of fairies pop up in Kara's closet and send her and Lyra to the Fairy Realms!!
Once there, Kara meets the Forest Prince, a Zorro-wannabe. He tells her that the Five Kingdoms are about to meet and need her help.
She goes to the Fairy Ring where the leaders of the Five Kingdoms are. They ask for proof that she is a mage...but Kara loses control of her magic and turns Lyra into quicksilver! The cat beings to melt and if they can't turn her back into a real cat soon, she'll be gone FOREVER.
Sounds ominous.
Kara seeks the help of Tangoo, the Goblin Sorceror, who is so obviously evil, but no one seems to notice.
Back in the real world, a series of "hilarious" situations of mistaken identity and the like take place as Emily and Adriane try to make everything seem normal. Ha. Ha. Ha.
How can Kara help the Kingdoms? First, she has to bond with an Elemental Stallion made of PURE FIRE.
She fails, of course.
Next, she attends a fairy masquerade ball. With the help of some magical talking accessories (pleeease don't inquire further), Kara becomes the belle of the ball! She also meets up with the Forest Prince again and finds out...
HE'S REALLY THE GOBLIN PRINCE LORREN!!!
He's a nice guy, though, who just cares about the environment. Also, Kara finds him rather attractive.
Oh, ha ha ha, those silly mages are ruining the play! I cannot breathe for laughing.
Kara attempts to bond with the Firemental horse again, for her is detrimental to her "quest", but no dice.
She learns from Tangoo that the Firemental will dissolve back into the air if she doesn't find the Blue Rose and give it to him, supplying him with enough magic to complete their quest.
She hasn't even bonded with him yet, but whatever.
She and Lorren go to the Spider Witch's old lair and have to choose between two roses: one is the real thing, the other is an imposter. One smells horrible, like sulfur, and the other all beautiful and lilac-y. How Indiana Jones.
They, unlike the rare art collector in "The Last Crusade" choose the right one (the stinky one)...and are attacked by a horde of spiders!!! Kara ditches Lorren, as she suspects he wants the rose for himself! How selfish!
She gives the rose to the Firemental horse, dubs him Starfire, and creates an unbreakable bond between the two of them.
They go on their quest: find four magical talismans, one for each element, and bring them back to summon the power crystal, which contains Avalon's magic and will save the Fairy Realms.
Wow. Good luck.
She finds the talismans and brings them back. But Tangoo destroys Starfire and attempts to capture the crystal! To get rid of Kara, he sends her back to school to finish up the school play.
Hahahaha. Calamity. Chaos. Love spells!! Tears of mirth fill my eyes. -_-
Starfire comes back!!! w00t! Because he obtained ANOTHER crystal, which is just as good as the Blue Rose, apparently.
Long story short: they go back. Defeat Tangoo. Starfire is gone, but he will always be with Kara. The play was a success. The five kingdoms are united. Lyra is saved. Lorren and Kara are going steady.
How I miss the uncomplicated Pony Pals and their short, mundane plots.

More notes:
How typical. Kara lands the lead in the school play AND gets a cool, pink costume?

Heh. The other fairies in the play are green, but not Tatiana.

Ah, I'd be frustrated, too.
Emily and Adriane: Aaargh, Karaaaaa, I know you're busy and you have a life, but we're lazy and don't want to do anything without yooooooo.

Kara can't control her magic and is pretty dang depressed. Poor Kara.

And then two magic trackers pop up in her closet. Oookay.

And the porta-portal sucks Kara and Lyra into it.

Aaargh, and they land in a forest where they're attacked by magic trees! What is this, "The Wizard of Oz"?

The Forest Prince rescues them, yelling, "AieOOO!" How intimidating?

LOL, he sounds like Carter dressed as Zorro from "A Cinderella Story".

But if it wasn't a portal that brought Kara here, what was it? Oh, a mirror. OF COURSE.

HAHAHA, Kara calls him Forest Gump. Sorry, it's early in the morning.

Aargh. She tells him to call her Snow White and he takes her seriously. :P

Whoa, random. The d-flies are all, "Back off, bub!" This is the first time they've said anything that actually makes sense.

Whoa, Goblins and Trolls are included in the five kingdoms? I don't care if it's racist, they shouldn't count.

Hm, is this guy evil or what: long green hair tied back, gaunt face, goatee, a hawkish nose, deep black eyes.
Sounds like a goblin-version of Snape.

Of course the Fairy Queen looks like Madonna, but the Troll King is hideous.

Tangoo? What kind of name is that?

Selinda is sexy name; therefore, a sexy queen.

But the Goblin Queen is ugly, therefore her name is Raelda. Not biased.

Apparently the Forest Prince is a bad boy and Kara should not concern herself with him.

Uh oh, they want Kara to show them some magic to prove she's the blazing star. Everybody duck!

She loses control and turns Lyra into a statue!

Oh dear, the only way to cure Lyra is to find the power crystal. Which is what the Five Kingdoms wanted in the first place.

Kara rode a unicorn, so of course she can ride a cute fairy pony!

Did I mention that pony is made out of fire?

DREAMER STARTS SPEAKING IN COMPLETE SENTENCES!!!

ROFL!
Adriane: Joey? I just left him backstage.
Emily: Oh, so that's why you were hanging out in the auditorium.
Adriane: Not! Joey asked me to help him, that's all.
Way to cheat on Zack, Adriane.

Kyle, Kara's brother, is a moron. They talk about magic in front of him and he thinks they're discussing Shakespeare.

And his Shakespearean insults suck. "Hark, what reeky, clay-brained, dewberry arrives?"

Nice cover.
Emily: Kara's sick. You REALLY don't want to go up there.
Heather: She is?
Adriane: She is? Oh, totally.
Emily: She's got a stomach ache.
Adriane: Really bad pimple. On her stomach.

Ha.
Heather: Geez, you guys are weirder than normal.

OMG, they hide a mookrat in Kara's bed and her friends ACTUALLY believe it's her. Wow.

Kyle decides to take the hobgoblin to school...because he thinks it's Joey. How stupid can you get?

No pretty Earth or Water Elemental horses for YOU, Kara. You get a feisty fire stallion.

Veiled sexual imagery?
Joey: Whatsup? Good call on the bulbs - the ones I was using were way too low wattage.
Adriane: Cool.

Why would you publish this book? I'd be too ashamed.
Kyle: Shall I compare thee to a brick outhouse?
Rae: That is so not hilarious.

AAAGH. Musso the hobgoblin is asked to step in for Kara and freaks out, putting a spell on Marcus to make him a REAL donkey.

"Excellent! Best interpretation of a jackass I've seen since Kyle Davies." So true.

Selinda: Don't worry, Princess. The stallion cannot get out.
Kara: Neither can I.
Lol.

What's with the Emily pep talks in every book? They're never any good.

Daaaaang. This boy's about twenty hands high. That's more than 6.5 feet at the shoulder!

Argh, this horse is annoying.
"I AM FIRE! I RUN ALONE!"
Possibly a relative of Sunchaser?

So Kara accidentally hits him with magic. Ouch.

Oh dear. She's stuck in a room...WITH TALKING ACCESSORIES!

Oh my goodness. Oooooh my gosh.
"Stop squirting me, Whiffle!"
"Oh, I can't stand it! I'm delirious with excitement."
EW!!!

Ha ha. A thousand apologies. Like Demon Hunter.

There's a perfume spray bottle SHAPED LIKE A SKUNK. That is sooooo nasty.

There happens to be a Midnight Masquerade Rave! Because a Kara book wouldn't be complete without a party.

Ooh, it's from the Forest Prince.

Kara doesn't have anything to wear! Good thing there's a magic closet!

"I need a ballgown in violet silk, with an embroidered bodice, long sleeves, and a dropped A-line skirt."
Wow. At least she knows what she wants.

Ew, the skunk squirts her with "Morning Pew" perfume.

HA. Goldie the d-fly gets to wear a silver and gold tuxedo.

I think the Forest Prince is a mob boss. How else would he have so much power over the bad fairies?

"Goldie was frolicking in milky moonbeams, sommersaulting with a small flying bear-like creature wearing a tutu and a pirate hat."
Awwwww....

Lol. The Forest Prince is head of a band of rebels. Like Robin Hood!

They're supposed to take off their masks, so Forest Prince does...and there's another mask underneath. Nice.

IT'S THE GOBLIN PRINCE, LORREN!

I guess being Forest Prince gives you more power than being the real prince, because these fairies show NO respect.

Emily opens a portal and tries to get Kara to come home, but ends up with a bunch of dwarves instead.

Oh, and a bulwoggle.

Agh, what's with the bad parenting? They're fighting a dangerous magical animal and Kara's parents aren't the LEAST bit suspicious. And they accept Emily's, "Just helping Kara rehearse!" story.

There's a fox named Cotax. Heh.

It's all good. The next portal will open in 3 years.

Lorren's parents just wouldn't understand the Forest Prince. Emo.

Ugh, hate Emily. And her pep talks.

Adriane makes fun of Lorren. Just because your boyfriend is a freak who lives with mistwolves....

Whoa. Kara and Goldie are bonded? But so are Kara and Lyra?

Fairy blood skips generations, so that explains why Kara is part fairy, but her mom isn't. That is so stupid. Someone obviously never took life science.

Ew. Nice clothes, Lorren.

:O
Tangoo: Well, my obstinate yet positive young prince, if the princess were a magic master, that might be possible, otherwise...good-bye kitty.

"The roses are blue, but only one can be true. The flower with the power is the bloom with the fume. The bud that's a dud seems a rose to the nose."
Duh. The one that doesn't SMELL like a rose is the real one.

What the heck? Tangoo shoots a love spell at Lorren right before he sends them to the Spider Witch's lair...and it hits Goldie!

Right. Adriane's going to play the part of Kara. Complete with pink dress and a blonde wig.

Hahahaha. Ozzie keeps messing up magic!! Silly Ozzie! I freaking hate that ferret.

Wth?? Are her friends really that stupid? How would they mistake dark-eyed, combat-booted Adriane for Kara?

Oh no, the d-flies puke love spells all over Adriane and she falls in love with Marcus. HAHAHAHA. -_-

Now Rae's in love with Kyle!

Oh, and to top it all off, Kara's 3 amigos think Musso is sexy.

This. Is. So. Retarded.

Kara manages to pick the right rose...but is attacked by spiders. Spiders...WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE SPIDERS?

No, Kara, trust Lorren!

She leaves him with the spiders and jumps into the wrong mirror.

Where she meets up with her fairy grandmother, Lucinda!!

They talk about the unicorn jewel.

Aw, Kara remembers how she used to be AND ADMITS SHE WAS A SELFISH LOSER!!

NOOO, the magic is not for Kara!
Oh, because the gift of a blazing star is to make OTHERS shine more brightly, not herself. That's why the magic won't work!

Ha. Kara has a vision of herself at seventeen, working for the Dark Sorceress, and she kills Emily and Adriane and takes their jewels. Lol.

Starfire is a lame name for a horse, but whatever.

Aw, Kara lets Starfire share her past. Now they're bonded fo life!

Their first talisman, made of Water magic, is purple bunny slippers.

Hahaha. She has to make a song on the magical clouds to get the next talisman and sings that "Supernatural High" song. But the next one's a harp? Lame. I like bunnies better.

Next stop, the Mines of Moria.

Oh no, Starfire is losing magic!!!

Wow. They're lost in a maze and use the harp to find which way to go. Smart. That's what Harry should've done in "Goblet of Fire".

Argh. The next talisman is a giant silver heart. Laaame.

The very last one is a sunstone.

Stafire is so screwed.

And there are two Forest Princes, trying to convince Kara to give them the power crystal!

One of them is real. The other is...TANGOO. Told you he was evil.

And it turns out HE turned Lyra into quicksilver.

Aw, he kills Starfire with the other blue rose.

She jumps into the last mirror...and finds herself on stage in the middle of the school play.

Ew. "Come hither, thou cutiest patootiest!'
I would rather kill myself than publish this crap.

Uh oh. Kara tries to say her lines (it's her part, after all), and Adriane attacks her!! "Nobody sweet-talks my jackass!"

Starfire, you're back! You used the second crystal! Way to be selfish!

Emily takes Starfire's reappearance to remind everyone to support Ravenswood Wildlife Preserve!

"Princess, Tangoo betrayed us all!" Duh.

Time for a major magic battle with Tangoo, the proper end to any young adult fantasy novel.

How lame.
"Twinkle twinkle, blazing star...how I wonder when you'll DIE!"

If you're losing to a Snapeish goblin, remember that you shouldn't be afraid of who you are. Works EVERY TIME.

What's with Adriane and all her sucky wolf analogies?
"You can put a wolf in pink clothing, but she's still a wolf!"

Okay, we get it, everyone believes in Kara. Group hug. HURRY UP, this book is boring.

Lyra comes back, which gives Kara the strength she needs to defeat Tangoo.

And she destroys the power crystal. Stupid.

But Starfire sacrifices himself to save Avalon. But Starfire will always be with her, now and forever.

Agh. Now that the Kingdoms are united, all the queens have to fight about is curtains. No joke.

Selinda wants a flowery yellow fabric. Raelda's going for deep blue velvet.
I'm with Raelda.

So they compromise and choose lavender.

Raelda: I've introduced him to every Goblin girl in the kingdom, but I think he has eyes for someone special.
Awwww.

Musso and Sparky give up magic tracking and open their own cheese business! I so wish I was making that up.

Ha. There's another party. Emily wears a sky blue sundress, Adriane wears a white shirt with jeans (how classy), and Kara chooses Capris with a pink tank top. Wow. So much for dressy.

Emily thinks Lorren is hot, too. Back off, Healer.

"Watch it, Prince, your Zorro is leaking."
WHERE?

LAAAAME.
"A friend taught me not to hide who I really am."

The Trolls get the bunny slippers.
The Elves get the harp.
The Dwarves get the heart.
The goblins get the sunstone.
And the Fairies get a red rose Kara constructed out of magic after she ran out of gifts. But the rose contains all four elements working together, while the other talismans only contain one element each. That's a little unfair, don'tcha think?

Kara gets to keep her magic accessories.

Oh dear, the Dark Sorceress is back and is working with the Spider Witch. We'll have to watch out for them next time.

That was a long book. 212 pages is a little ridiculous for an Avalon book. Back to Pony pals!!

The gods are angry, so they've made the sun disappear, or Unicorns of Balinor #7: Night of the Shifter's Moon

Okay. Let me tell you how much I hate Unicorns of Balinor.
No, really. These are what has kept me from posting because they're so ridiculously boring.
So I'm just going to summarize it and be DONE with it.
And hopefully get the last book, #8, the WORST in the series, out of the way.
Then we can go on to Avalon and Pony Pals and what not.
It seems Madison Finn is permanently on hold, as I ordered some books from the library about, um, two months ago, and they've ignored my request.
I could skip #11 and #12, but only if completely necessary.
It's just that #11 is so depressing, but I like it, because...just so sad.
Okay, on to the unicorns. Sunchaser awaits.

Plot: We open with our "heroes" in the forests of Ardit where they meet some excitable bunnies.
Lori starts complaining, Finn tries to be a peacemaker, Toby insults people in a Cockney accent...the usual.
Atalanta calls Ari away from the group into CELESTIAL VALLEY!
*Hallelujah chorus*
The Celestial unicorns fall all over Ari and Chase. There's a bonding ceremony, and Ari officially has the Deep Magic. Also, she and Chase are officially BFFs forealz.
Once the two of them pop back down to the earth, they find their comrades in trouble! Fight fight fight. Done.
Now that she has Deep Magic, a BFF, and self-confidence, Ari decides to make war, not love, with the Shifter.
They go over to Balinor to assemble troops and to speak with the Lords of the Houses and crap.
The Shifter talks about how invincible he is...until the Shadow Rider walks into the room. Mr. Shadow is even worse than the Shifter, apparently. But it turns out he's not really the Shadow Rider; he's the Kraken, which is I guess some mysterious Sauron-esque figure. Everyone shudders at the mention of him.
Meanwhile, in Ari-land, Lori decides to become Ari's Lady-in-waiting when she hears how much the salary is. She also hires her new best friend, Lady KYLIAN. Hm, sounds a lot like KYLIE, doesn't it?? But no one is the least bit suspicious.
Ari and Chase go on a quest to find the Royal Unicorns, who ran away after the Shifter took over. How lame. The Workers and Celestial unicorns fought, but the Royals RAN AWAY? Wimps. What do you want them for?
Oh, and they find them right away on some island in the middle of the ocean! That was easy.
They manage to convince them rather quickly to join their cause.
The unicorns fight in the battle. They kick Shifter's butt. Lady Kylian is unmasked, but I'm pretty sure she escapes. Oh well.
The part that irks me is THE BATTLE DOESN'T EVEN LAST 5 MINUTES!!!! The Royal Unicorns show up and Shifter's all, "Dang," and doesn't even try anymore!
It doesn't matter that Ari's side has one...THE KRAKEN WILL REBUILD!!!
Yeah, dumb. I HATE THIS SERIES.
Lol. There was a black, red, and white unicorn named Puzzler. I wonder if he likes the White Stripes.

Hm. All I did was summarize badly. That was sort of a waste of time. Oh well. Avalon and Pony Pals tomorrow.

Texans can be fooled by brightly colored ponies, or Avalon: Quest For Magic #1: Song of the Unicorns

So, we're back with another Avalon series! Only this time, instead of running around worrying about Aldenmor, the mages are out to find 9 magic power crystals to restore all the magic to Avalon.



Plot: Emily's dad got married...without telling her!!! Now he's invited her to spend some time with him in New Mexico on a horse ranch, so she and the wicked stepmother can get to know one another. Emily agrees to go if Kara, Adriane, Ozzie, and Dreamer can come...and her dad pays their way. Noyce.
So they're all at the liddle dude ranch. First, let's review what has happened to our characters previously:
Adriane lost Stormbringer and gained Dreamer, but she and Dreamer are having some issues.
Kara is still in the possession of some pretty serious shapeshifting magic that she can't control.
Emily is just angsty and boring as always.
The dude ranch is pretty fun; there are horses and Texan trail guides, but Emily doesn't like her new stepmom Veronica because she's just like Kara. Oooooh.
Hark! What's that? A magical animal in trouble? The mages stumble upon a herd of baby unicorns hiding in a cave. They were headed to a magic Unicorn School in Dalriada, but they were hijacked and fell through the wrong portal. Now someone is trying to attack them!! Good thing the mages were there to save them!
Now the mages have to hide the babies in the barn without anyone noticing. Unfortunately, it gets a little harder when the babies start sprouting horns, gaining magic, and acquiring brightly colored coats.
They have to get the babies to Dalriada as soon as possible or they might blow up the dude ranch! Emily tries to teach the unicorns to tune their magic, but, despite her best efforts, they fail, because they are tone deaf. Ha.
BAM! A black knight fellow comes in and steals all the unicorns. He gives them back later, but it appears he has stolen their magic. The babies are heartbroken.
Until Black Knight comes back, furious, because he can't find the unicorn magic! Magic fight!
Well Kara and Adriane take on the Bremerton Knights, Emily gives the unicorns a pep talk: you don't need a horn or a jewel to use magic, because the magic is always right there, in your heart. -_-
They beat him. The unicorns regain their magic and go to school.

More notes:
The prologue is about some centaurs taking the unicorns to school.

Centaurs don't need horses; they pull the wagon themselves!

Corinth gets pwned by mist sharks.

Eliath gets thrown off a cliff. Noyce.

The unicorns in the wagon fall off the cliff, too...and land in a portal.

Carolyn Fletcher never fails to tick me off.

Ozzie's a fattie.

Laaaame. "Even with the best of training, he's a wild animal, and at some point might need to be cared for by specialists, for his own safety as well as yours." Carolyn has OBVIOUSLY not read "White Fang".

Raaaandom.
Adriane: Maybe you'll like her. [she's referring to Veronica, the new stepmom]
Emily: I HATE HER! THEY ELOPED AND DIDN'T EVEN INVITE ME TO THE WEDDING!
Whatever. Chill out, Emily, the marriage probably won't last long, anyways.

Adriane does some cool rope tricks. Like Indiana Jones.

Yep. Adriane's still a tempermental loser.

Adriane can use magic whenever...and does. Emily heals animals when she gets bored. But, because Kara has a mucho powerful jewel, she can't practice magic without the supervision of her two besties.

Kara: You can't avoid meeting her forever, you know. She'll think you don't care.
Emily: She obviously doesn't care what I think. I'm not dropping everything and going all the way cross-country just to meet her.
Kara: Isn't your dad going, too?
Emily: Funny! Yeah, I really want to see him.
Kara: So, there you go.
Emily: It's not that easy.
Kara: Yes, it is. Three simple words: Get over it.
Ha. Kara is my BFF.
Adriane does not think her advice is that helpful.
Actually, I don't see how either of them could be all that helpful in this situation, since Kara's parents are happily married, and Adriane's parents abandoned her so they could travel the world.

Ooh, the Happy Trails Horse Ranch! Sounds fun!

OH NO! The Valentine's Dance is in a week! Kara can't possibly go to New Mexico when she has so much to do!

She changes her mind once she hears there's a spa. Rachel Roberts must REALLY not like Kara; she's turned her into Meredith from "Bratz".

Dreamer only speaks one word at a time. Aaargh. Not cute anymore. I miss Storm.

This is their guide, Texas Slim:
Texas Slim: Whoo-oo! Lemme hear you, now! Come on, let's do some whoopin'! Naw, that's a city slicker whoop. We need a real Texas whoop!
I bet there are some very offended Texans out there reading this book.

Ew. Emily meets a Ravenswood freak named Sierra Sanchez. She has a jewel, too.

The girls are staying in a cabin. Adriane is excited to be out in the open and commune with nature. Fly, Little Bird, fly! Find your spirit creature!
Kara is depressed at being too far away from the spa. God forbid you should WALK there!

Lol.
Texas Slim: That's some hound dog you got there.
Kara: He's a dingo.

Ozzie's voice keeps switching between italics and normal print.

Mookrat is my favorite word.

They meet an Experimental Fairmimental named Tweek, sent to help them. Because all the magic is gone from Avalon. Yeah. Not making sense.

Kara pulls off a nifty hair trick, and Adriane's all, "YOU'RE OUT OF CONTROL! STOP IT!"

Adriane wishes SHE had shapeshifting abilities.

Oh no, we're being attacked by magical creatures...again.

Lyra saves the day! Up until this point, I hadn't noticed she wasn't with them.

Emily knows the mysterious creatures are unicorns because she can FEEL their magic. Hooow?

Adriane makes a lot of "hilarious cracks" at Kara in this book, whilst Kara acts like a ditz. The latest one: the mages call Kara to them with a portal, and she appears with a mud mask. "Try not to let her beauty blind you." Ha. Ha. Ha.

Lol. Wizard cursing. "What the fuzzy muckle?"

Ew, all the unicorns are beige.

Silly Pollo. You're so ugly and ungainly. You'll never amount to anything. His sister, Riannan, who is beautiful and vain, will OBVIOUSLY get far in the magical world! Ugh. It'll make more sense later.

Aw, a polka-dotted one.

Electra is one of my favorite names ever.

Of course someone named VIOLET is timid and worriesome. Not so in "Charlie Brown".

The mages are only Level One mages, according to Tweek and the HORARFM. Levels? Are you kidding me? This is like Runescape.

And then they were attacked by a giant magical centipede. Not even lying.

Oh. Just close the portal. That'll sever its head right off.

Adriane yells at Dreamer for trying to save her.

Because she's afraid she'll lose him. -_-

Why does Kara need a manicure if she can shapeshift her nails at will?

Riannan's a 'fraidy corn!

You have to follow the music. Let it flow. :P Wise words from tone deaf Emily Fletcher.

And all this singing unlocks...ANOTHER fairy map. Gee, we've seen a lot of these.

How to make unicorn food: You need pure morning dew, a handful of starlight, and fresh honey! Stir it exactly nine times under the light of the moon.
Why can't they eat grass like Balinor unicorns?

Kara is convinced she wasn't meant to have her jewel. Because Adriane is such a loser. But Emily gives her a pep talk. We get a lot of pep talks, too.

I HAAATE Adriane.

Heh. There are unicorns named Boodle, Harvard, Beowulf, Barnabus, Pierre, Quincy, Elvis, Windmill, and Riccardo. AWESOME.

I want a unicorn named Beowulf.

Sierra won't be suspicious of 30 beige hornless unicorns in her barn or anything....

Veronica finds Pollo and thinks he's adorable. Why do stepmom's always have to be stupid? Well, I guess they're not usually married for their brains. Ask the French; the literal translation of belle-mere is "beautiful mother". Ouch.

Oh, those silly billy unicorns.

Kara turns her hair purple. Lucky.

EW! Ralfie's horn grows in...and his coat is now deep green with bright brass-colored spots.
Ralfie: I'm so handsome.
No, not handsome... I think HIDEOUS is the word I'm going for here.

Adriane: I thought unicorns were white.
Ralfie: How many have you seen?
Adriane: Two.
Spruce: Well, there you go.

Lol. Kara has a unicorn beauty party.

Guess what color Violet turned? No, really, GUESS!

It's almost as shocking as Snowflake's new coat.

Okay, I'll tell you: Violet is VIOLET and Snowflake is WHITE.

Dante thinks Clio is pretty. Heh. Unicorn love.

Ralfie is apparently the class stud.

OMG.
Kara: Say, you could use a little trim.
Ralfie: I WANT A MULLET!
I guess "mullet" translates to "hawt" in unicorn culture?

Riannan wants to be the princess, but wonders if her magic is good enough.

NO, Emily, DON'T try to relate! Having crappy magic and going to a new school are NOT THE SAME THING!!!

"Princess or not, we all love you just for who you are."
Lies my mother told me, part 1.

"But technique is only one part of playing music. You have to feel the music from here." Your heart.
Yeah. Right. Heart has nothing to do with skill.

Ooh, they make a little song.
Adriane's verse:
You're the rhythm that rocks
To the beat that never stops
Be the tick, be the tock
Be the rain as it drops

Kara's verse:
You're the melody that soars
Fairy's wing, ocean's roar
Sing it low, sing it high
Let's go dancing on the sky

Emily's verse:
You're the harmony that shimmers
Like a star, be the glimmer
As the sun gives moon light
Lift the song into flight

I like how Adriane's verse is all about the rock, Kara's is about fairy's and dancing, and Emily's is about harmony and love.
I pictured this song sounding like "Without Love" from "Hairspray".

Someone released the magic from Avalon! Who could've done such a thing? It couldn't have been the *gasp* Dark Sorceress?

Ugh, the Dark Sorceress is back, and she has another new henchie who believes the mages are only pubescent overdramatic girls.

NO NO, DON'T! Emily shows Sierra the unicorns. Moron.

Calliope: You think we'll like school?
Kara: Of course you will. I love school. You get to hang with all your friends and look cool.
Which are basically the only reasons I'm going.

After days of practice, the unicorns get stage fright and can't tune their magic.

And then a giant net flew out of the portal and engulfed the baby unicorns. Try as the mages might, they could not save them.

A dark knight walks into the room. Hm. Sounds like a combination Shadow Rider/Sauron.

Emily tells the babies they have to give up their magic; that is the only way they will be saved.
But no. THe babies are selfish.

Emily and Adriane are stuck in the middle of a magic whirlwind. Dreamer tries to save them, for which Adriane yells constantly.

They're saved because of Dreamer, and Adriane gives him a lecture.

Oh dear. The whirlwind switched Adriane and Emily's magic. Now Emily is a warrior (right) and Adriane is a healer (that's not likely). I can't see Emily as a warrior. She'd just cry and be all, "I can't do it!"

Dreamer is busy dying. Save your mistwolf, Adriane.

Hm, it's a role reversal. Emily's a really good warrior (whaaat?) and Adriane, faced with the chance of saving Dreamer, screams, "I can't do this!"

And there's a weird little dialogue between Adriane and Dreamer.
Dreamer: Pack mate in danger.
Adriane: Dreamer, young and strong, depending on me.
Dreamer: Monster will take her away, like wolf mother and wolf father.
Adriane: Lonliness clawing at my heart.
Dreamer: With her I am warrior wolf.
Adriane: One day he will leave me, too?
Dreamer: Without her, I am lone wolf.
Adriane: Abandoned again by the one I love the most. *howl*

She runs into the Spirit Pack in her messed up crazy mind. Oh. How. Interesting.

And Dreamer lives.

Adriane: I never could have healed Dreamer alone.
Emily: I could never be a warrior, never like you.
Kara: Hey! Being a blazing star isn't exactly a trip to the mall!
Tweek: Actually, it is.
Yeah. Not biased.

And the unicorns' magic is missing.

Oh. Kara has the unicorn magic. Because male unicorns love her.

Now she and Knightster are having a fight, where he messes with her shapeshifting magic.

I want turquoise hair. Really bad.

Lame. Ozzie says "silly spells". "Fix my shoe. gAaAaAh!"

Oh, and this is the best one yet. "Release the booods!"

Kara can no longer shapeshift. :(

Wait, she doesn't have the unicorn magic? Then who does?

Tweek is dead. Yessss.

The unicorns have their magic back! Emily tells them to sing from their heart.

And this pure, beautiful song defeats the knight. Unbelievable.

And Tweek is still alive. Because it was part of their amazing plan. :P

OH NO, Lorelei is back and she's singing the friendship song!
Listen to the sound
I'll always be around
You and me
We'll always be
Friends forever.

There goes Adriane, asking about Zach again. Obsessed much?

Pollo, Riannan's brother, is the prince. Riannan's disappointed, but she'll get over it.
Oh, but wait, she's a princess, too. A prince AND a princess? Why couldn't Rianna just NOT be a princess, so she could focus on dealing with that ego and realize that although her brother is ugly, he's probably pure of heart or whatever. But no. They had to give in to her selfish desires.

Tweek's going back with them to Ravenswood. Crap.

Find all nine power crystals and Avalon is saved. Got it.

I wouldn't call a paint pony "splotched". Sounds wrong.

Emily realizes that the bond between her and her dad will never break, and Veronica is actually nice and fashion savvy.

What kind of description is "the brown-haired teen"? *cringe*

They mention wyverns, who mate for life. Yeah, especially with members of the same sex. (read "Wolfcry")

Adriane thinks a trip to the Living Desert Zoo State Park will be "rad". -_-

So ends that book. Thankfully.
I might be able to do a Pony Pals tomorrow. It's the best Pony Pals yet, lol. Pretty great. The Pony Pals lower their standards and say "butt". :O And you'll be there to see it happen.

Fire is obviously evil, though it gives us warmth and energy, or Avalon: Web of Magic #6: Trial By Fire

Well, here we go. The last Avalon book. Are you ready? It's intense.



Plot: The Dark Soceress is up to her dastardly schemes again. She has captured all the mistwolves to power her crystals or something. A Firemental contacts the mages, telling of them of the great danger. Oh boy, ANOTHER quest! The three mages and their animal friends (Storm, Lyra, and Ozzie) jump into the portal, but get seperated at the nexus. Emily gets thrown into Ozzie's homeland, Adriane and Storm find themselves on a snowy mountain, and Kara, or course, ends up with Lyra at some fairy rave.
Emily heals a bunch of Black Fire victims, Adriane saves some Sea Dragon Riders or whatever from Snow Monsters and finds out that they are also mages, and Kara parties and meets...Be*Tween! Not stereotyped! Be*Tween says some semi-important things, like something about magic rain that will either be good or evil, depending on who wins the Big Battle. Also, Henry Gardener was a wizard. WHOA! Blowing my mind!
They meet up at a cave and find an adorable little mistwolf named Dreamer. Dreamer's parents, as well as several other mistwolfs, have been killed. Adriane is in love with anything mistwolf, so they decide to take the lil youngster along with them.
BAM! Zach appears and starts being all mysterious, like staying far away and being all, "Follow me! Hurry!" Suspicious much? Adriane follows him and is confronted with an army of nightmares, imps, goblin riders, and scores of other nasty creatures. Turns out Zach is really THE SKULTUM!
They're saved by Drake, who is sort of a wimp, but looks intimidating, so that's all that matters. Drake takes them to the castle, where they sneak into the dungeons and find ZACH AND ALL THE MISTWOLVES!! The mistwolves are stuck in the crystals the Dark Sorceress made, where she is draining their magic and forcing them to stay in mist form. If this goes on much longer, they'll all die. Unfortunately, the wolves don't want to be saved because they're all infected with the Black Fire.
The Dark Sorceress, who isn't as stupid as she looks, spellsings and forces Kara to come to her. Doing some more nifty magic, she destroys the unicorn horn and steals Kara's fairy map, combining it with the one she stole from Moonshadow to find the lost portal. While all this is going on (fairy maps take a litle bit of time to combine; it's like having dial-up), she tells Kara that her [Kara's] grandmother was a fairy queen, but that fairy queen was her [the Dark Sorceress'] sister!!! Oh no!! That means the Dark Sorceress is Kara's.....GREAT AUNT! Star Wars much? "No, Kara. I AM your...great aunt."
The fairy maps have successfully combined. But instead of revealing the final portal to Avalon, a unicorn appears. Kara jumps on his back and they ride away into the unknown.
Adriane and Lyra run upstairs to deal with that Witchy Woman, leaving Emily and Zach to deal with the sick wolfies. Storm has placed herself between all the crystals and is lending the other mistwolves her magic. Everyone knows she can't last long doing this, but they don't seem to care? Besides Adriane, that is, who is crying a lot. Emily is supposed to be healing, but all she's doing is whining.
The brave lil unicorn took Kara to Avalon, where she meets a bunch of wraiths who tell her that THERE IS NO PORTAL TO AVALON. ONLY A UNICORN CAN TAKE YOU. Then they give Kara a jewel of her very own and tell her to beat the Skultum.
Adriane is busy battling Ms. Sorceress. Not going too well. Drake, however, manages to distract her armies and squish at least a few warriors.
Kara comes back and battles the Skultum. Having learned that a fairy will lose all his magic once you find out his name (sort of like Rumpelstiltsken?), she has the advantage and they play a little game. Skultum's real name is "Magic", which he says out loud, screwing him, but giving all his magic to Kara.
So the Sorceress is all toying with Adriane and calls in the manticore to finish her off. The manticore comes in...BUT IT'S REALLY KARA!! Kara saves the day!! Not sure how, again.
Kara and Adriane run downstairs and find out Storm is dead. :(
Emily is whining still, but Kara gives her a pep talk and a magic burst, and all the wolves are saved.
And they won the Big Battle, so the magic rain is GOOD! Yay!!
They go back to Fairy Glen, where Adriane becomes bonded to little Dreamer, because he is cute and they are both alone.
Ozzie is also given a magic jewel: a ferret stone! Laaaaame. He is given the chance to return to his normal shape and stay in Aldenmor, but he chooses to go home with the girls. So ends the Web of Magic series. Next week, we start on the Quest For Magic, which is yet unfinished because Rachel Roberts SUCKS.

Whenever there are mistwolves involved, there's always howling and running and, "You are my packmates," in the next two pages.

Moonshadow gets pwned by Skultum. You know, I REALLY don't like Moonshadow.

Lyra: You're thinking again.
Kara: I do have a brain, contrary to popular opinion.
Meaning Adriane?

Aw, Kara feels bad for her mistake! Finally!

Adriane: Where were you?
Kara: I was doing homework.
Adriane: *Huh?*
Because popular don't do homework. EVER. Ha ha, not if you're in Mr. Kovacs' class.

Adriane admits she was wrong about Kara. And she admits she's annoying and has a bad temper? WHOA.

Quit justifying what Kara did! Forgiving is different from, "Oh, we know you MEANT to do good." Nooo, she just wanted to win that singing contest and kick your butt, Adriane.

So lame. Ozzie's tail sets on fire when they're toasting marshmallows. Didn't see that one coming. Didn't they copy that from "Ice Age"...and just about every movie with an animal with a tail hanging around fire?

Yay, a firemental! I was wondering when one of those would show up. Because the other Fairimentals (water, air, earth) are way boring.

Yeah, your grandma will believe that. "Sorry, Grandma, but I'll be on a school trip that didn't require permission slips, a change of clothes, or transportation."

"Kara was wearing designer hiking boots, dark denim jeans, and a faux-fur trimmed safari coat." And she's carrying a red backpack? This outfit doesn't really work. And I can't wrap my head around designer hiking boots; what's the point?

"'One jumps-' Adriane said.
'We all jump!' Kara finished.
And with that, Emily, Adriane, Kara, Ozzie, Lyra, and Storm leaped through the dreamcatcher into the portal beyond.
'Emily!' Ozzie screamed, losing his grip on Emily's hand.
'Ozzie, no!' She cried, lunging for the golden ferret. It was no use; Ozzie, still screaming, fell away from the others and into the nothingness of the dreamcatcher."
Yeah right. That's just what I WISH had happened. He ALWAYS loses his grip. I HAAAAATE Ozzie.

Gee, I'm in the middle of a blizzard. Good thing I'm wearing a sweater and vest! Yeah, I don't think so.

Yay, snow monsters pulled straight from "The Empire Strikes Back"!

Of course purple and red combo means BAD.

They get attacked by flying monkeys. NOT LYING.

Yeah, they get attacked, and Ozzie just starts jumping up and down. That's helpful.

How is Kara not noticing it's a Be*Tween concert? Isn't she obsessed with that band? Doesn't she have their CD?

Of course Adriane is off fighting someone, Emily's off healing someone...and Kara's off partying.

Oh yeah, Be*Tween. They're totally kickin' it.

The drummer's kind of a freak. She's wearing a JUMPSUIT and hitting things. Things that aren't DRUMS.

Wth?
Kara: I'm Kara, what's your name?
Fairy: Me name? Why, I'll wark ye muckle tarrie!
Fairies have Irish accents?

Kara's a PRINCESS!!

A FAIRY princess, though, not real royalty. Lol. ;)

LOL! They get ambushed by Ozzie's cousins and they're all, "A witch! A witch!" That so reminded me of Monty Python! "She turned me into a newt! ...I got better..."

"Elves" are just ripped off hobbits.

Lol.
Sylina: You are Kara, the Blazing Star.
Kara: I LOVE YOUR CD!
I heart Kara.

Wait, the members of Be*Tween give Kara THEIR names, but if any other fairy creature gives you their name, it sucks out their powers. Hm??

Mr. Gardener is a wizard!!!

And Kara is a princess!!!

Awwwww.
"Suddenly, a small dog-sized creature leaped from the bush. It was a furry black wolf puppy with white paws and chest."
That's Dreamer. HE'S SOOOO CUTE.

Lyra: Mistwolves.
Kara: You found them?
Lyra: Some.
Kara: *tear*
I like how Lyra doesn't really care. No emotion.

Kara and Adriane have nicknames for each other. Isn't that a couple thing?

"On a high ridge nearby stood a cute boy in a white shirt, beige pants, and sandals."
Nice outfit.

And Adriane is not the least bit suspicious. The real Zach probably would have run over and been all, "Adriane, I missed you! *crazy blush*"

Duh, it's the Skultum. I told you.

Drake is back!! Woo!!

LOL!
"'Some baby,' Kara muttered as she nervously scanned the skies. For all she knew, full-sized dragons traveled in packs like the pesky dragonflies. She could not handle another fan club - especially not one with members as big as Drake."
THAT'S not self-centered.

Dark Sorceress: You are a powerful fairy creature, are you not?
Skultum: Yes, my mistress.
Dark Sorceress: Yet you could not unlock the map yourself. And worse, you let it fall back into the hands of these...these mages!
Skultum: Mages! They are merely girls!
Yeah, and yet those girls pwned you at that benefit concert in more ways than one!

Not more spellsinging!

Oh no, the mistwolves are trapped inside the crystals! A crystal system that runs on magic? Hm. I wish they would explain how it works in engineer terms.

Okay, they find Zach imprisoned in a prison cell. And his first words are:
Zach: Adriane, you're in my dreams.
:O That was NOT something I needed to know.

"'How long have you been here?' Emily asked, rubbing Zach's arms to help circulation."
Whoa, Emily, you little boyfriend stealer, back off!

Zach: She may have opened portals, but in order to find the source of the magic, she would need two fairy maps.
Yeah, dummy, Kara HAS a fairy map.

Zach is the worst!
Zach: We have to get the mistwolves out. They can't survive in there.
Adriane: Storm is keeping them strong.
Zach: She's only one wolf, she can't hold on to them for long!
Yeah, thanks, buddy.

And she just destroyed the unicorn horn. I'd say you're screwed, Kara.

"Kara, I am your great aunt." That should be a buddy icon.

"I have traveled beoynd what I once was."
Gross, bad pictures coming to mind.

The rest of the Avalon-lovers club is stuck down in the dungeons, so they decide to talk about their feelings. Then they start laughing about things that aren't funny...like Kara's rainbow hair. That memory is not bringing tears of mirth to my eyes.

Omg. This is the most retarded scene I've ever read.
Ozzie: Having friends makes everything better.
Emily: Like laughing till your face hurts.
Ozzie: Sharing banana milk shakes.
Zach: Birthday parties.
Lyra: Finding a true pack mate.
Emily: Watching the sun rise.
Ozzie: Making chocolate chip cookies.
Lyra: Dancing to favorite songs on the radio.
Adriane: Getting a hug.
Then they end with a GROUP HUG of all things. Isn't "pack mate" Storm's thing? And I would SO not share a banana milkshake with a ferret.

AAARGH! And the power of laughter and frienship saves Kara from her great aunt's spell.

I've noticed a lot of unicorns like Kara...but only MALE unicorns.

Since when was Dreamer lost? I don't get it. But he's a natural magic tracker!

Kara: Where are we going?
Unicorn: Home.
What does that tell you? What have you been looking for this entire time?

Awww, Storm is stuck in mist form, too.

I HATE IT WHEN EMILY DOUBTS HERSELF.
"People are dying, Emily."
"I don't know if I can save them...."
"If you don't save them, global warming will speed up."
"I can't do it!

Zach: *to Adriane* I've seen you in action. No one's better.
WHAT?? What is he talking about exactly??? THEY'RE 13!!! That is so messed up.

Aww, Adriane knows Storm is doomed.

Kara: Avalon really does exist!
Wraith: It does for you.
Kara: I don't understand.
Wraith: You choose to see it.
So the people who WANT to see Avalon see what they want to see? Do they make it up as they go along? Confused.

Kara got a unicorn jewel! Cooler than that stupid wolf stone.

Adriane: You're dead meat!
DS: So eloquently put, but I wish you would learn some manners.
Don't we all?

Ew, Skultum takes the shape of Johnny Conrad in leather slacks and an open-neck silk shirt. Is there such thing as leather slacks? Sounds uncomfortable. And "open-neck silk shirt" screams "Fabio".

D-flies save the day!

Why would you assume that the d-flies know Skultum's real name?

Okay, they play charades with the d-flies, and they play it "upside down", but instead of the words being upside down, they're just backwards. There IS a difference.

Nice, Skulty. "MAGIC! Aw, crap."

Finally, Emily, you're getting stuff done.

Ha. Adriane punches the Dark Sorceress and she falls into a portal.

Kara gives a nice little pep talk, then it's back to work!

So dies Stormbringer.

Moonshadow: One mistwolf held a hundred of us. Do you know how she did that? She held us until we were safe because she was thinking of you. Her love for you gave her the strength.
That's way sappy, but really sad and adorable.

I thought the way to grieve was to let go. They're telling her to HOLD ON.

Oh, but Storm isn't dead. She runs with the Spirit Pack now.
So in other words, she's dead.

Awwww, I LOVE DREAMER.
Adriane: I guess we're both alone now.
Dreamer: I'll always be with you.

Ambia: One has followed her heart and found strength.
Gwigg: One has seen in darkness and found light.
Ambia: And one has changed completely and found-
Kara: A jewel!
Ambia: -restraint.

A ferret stone. How...cool.

Ozzie doesn't know what to do (Should I stay or should I go? GO!), so Emily tells him to "follow his heart". Blah.

Lol, Kara gets to keep her shapeshifting abilities. Purple hair!

LAME LAME LAME LAME LAME!
Emily: *tears* I'm going to miss you, Ozzie.
Ozzie: Why, were are you going? 'Cause wherever it is, I'm going, too.
That didn't elicit an "awww" out of me.

So I was listening to Hannah Montana and "Pop Princess" sounds like a love song for Kara. No joke. And "She's No You" sounds like something Zach wrote for Adriane, as does "Girl of the Year". No Emily songs yet.
Okay, a pretty controversial Pony Pals tomorrow.
Controversial in that it deals with cerebral palsy.

Is the storyline really about Nazis, or Unicorns of Balinor #5: Search for the Star

I really wish Miley Cyrus wouldn't dance. But that's not the point. Okay. I've read each Unicorns of Balinor book multiple times, but this one only once. Because I didn't know how to place holds. You probably didn't care to know that, though.



Plot: The dragon Naytin guards this thing called the Indigo Star. It is, as you may have guessed, an indigo star, but it's a MAGIC star. Shifter knows Naytin wakes up every 1000 years, and it just so happens he's about to wake up, so Shifter pops over and steals the Star. Why? Um...it's pretty, shiny, and magical. Why NOT??
He uses the Star to steal the Celestial Unicorns' color. Now Atalanta is a lovely bleach white. HAHAHAHA. This is pretty bad, though, because without color, they have no magic. I thought your magic came from your jewel and horn. Guess not.
Naytin is pretty mad, so he attacks Balinor to blow off some steam. This scares the crap out of the people of Balinor.
Ari, being Ari, feels the need to go save it, because she has to be the hero. She, Finn, Lori, Lincoln, and Chase go with a bunch of Dragon Slayers to some place. She tells the Dragon Slayers who she really is, goes to the Shifter's Palace alone, and steals the Star from Shifter and gives it back to Naytin. Pretty simple, really.
Oh, and there was this whole thing where people sort of want to tell everyone Ari is Princess of Balinor, or whatever, but they decide not to in case of war? Pretty stupid.

More notes:
So far, every book has started with "Atalanta". How annoying is that?

Lol. They have a chapter from the Shifter's point of view and he's all, "Yeah, so I stole the Scepter, but the Princess stole it from me!!!"

Dragons don't have treasure, so a lot of people who search for dragon's caves are wasting their time. Entia thinks this is hilarious.

Okay, if the Shifter can shapeshift into anything, ANYTHING, why hasn't he killed Ari already?? He could turn into a Celestial unicorn, infiltrate Celestial Valley, kill them all, then pretend to be Ari and lure her off a cliff or something. Really, he's not very imaginative. "I shall turn into...a BLACK unicorn. That will inspire fear into the hearts of my slaves!"

Oh, but now that he has a powerful magic object, he's going to do something bad to Atalanta. What?

HE SAYS ATALANTA IS PURPLE, TOO!!!

Ugh, what is with boys? "Atalanta! SEE WHAT I HAVE FOR YOU!!" Enough with the yelling!

The blue band starts fading. I think I would like a blue unicorn. There is one on the cover, but he doesn't look very faded.

Blue begins the rainbow? Really? That's not what Roy G. Biv said.

Oh gee, if you combine the Royal Scepter with the Indigo Star, you will get the most powerful magic in the world. Hm, ARI has the Royal Scepter. How convenient.

Finn is scared of Ari now that he knows she's a princess. That's not very Anakin of you, Finn.

Lori wants Finn's body.

Lori: I will never, ever, EVER go on that ship again!
Toby: Nobody asked you to come in the first place.
OWNED!

Ari stares at Finn for like 5 minutes and is all, "Lori thinks he's good-looking." Don't you? If not, WHY WERE YOU STARING?

She asks CHASE if HE thinks Finn is hot. Ari, Chase is a boy. Wait...is Chase gay??

Ha ha. Atalanta is white.

There are three types of unicorns: Workers, who are fat and don't deserve magic because they're the worker class; Royals, who are beautiful and live in the palace, but don't do anything important; and Celestials, who live in the valley and boss everyone around.

Samlett: Permission to hug you, I say, to hug you.
Ari: Permission granted.
Perv.

Lori: Without Finn's help, Ari never would have beaten the Shifter.
They try to make it seem like this is a self-centered statement, but it's true.

Ari gives Chase some oats and Finn is like, "NOOOOOOO! yOu MuSt NoT dO wOrK!!!"
Finn: Let me do that for you.
Ari: I'm the only one who takes care of Chase.
Finn: But Your Royal Highness.
Ari: *annoyed* Are you going to continue calling me "Your Royal Highness"?
Finn: Am I in the wrong way of addressing you, milday?
Ari: Yes. I want you to call me Ari.
Finn: But! Your Royal Highness...I can't!
Ari: Why?
Finn: Because I am not your equal milady.
Now Ari gives a wise speech about how we are all equal, but have different jobs to do. Not true, seeing as Workers do all the work, but are not equal to Royals or Celestials....

Ooh, the Queen was a wise woman, too. XP

Lol, Shifter changes into a wolf and tricks Naytin into thinking some kids from Balinor stole the star. Reminds me of the mistwolves.

There's a big windstorm caused by Naytin, and Ari is like, "I WON'T LEAVE YOU, CHASE!" "MILADY, YOU MUST GO!" "NO, CHASE!" "YES, MILADY!!" Finally, Samlett has to drag Ari to the cellar. Lol. They have a cellar in case of tornadoes.

Lori: Honestly, Ari. Samlett's right, you know. You can't go out there. Even I know that. I would have made a much better Princess than you. Are you sure there hasn't been some mistake? Maybe it really is me, I mean, you know, like I'm the real Princess. Has anybody looked into that?
Nice, Lori. You gotta hit 'em with a dose of reality now and then.

Everyone: *laughs at Lori*
Lori: It's not that funny. I just don't understand you people!
Finn: Don't be upset. Look how you've cheered everyone up.
Lori: Not everyone can have a positive effect on people. I takes a great deal of talent.
Finn is such a player. Right after he pacifies Lori, he winks at Ari.

Chase gets stuck in a tree, but he's fine.

The Restistance? Sounds like Star Wars to me.

Okay, if I had one of the most powerful tools of magic, I would KILL all the Celestial unicorns. Getting their colors back with Princess Ari in the house is pretty easy.

Some Dragon Slayers come to the meeting. They wear a lot of leather.

Ari: But why do you want to attack the dragon? I mean, Naytin is gone now, gone back to the Mountain, where it belongs. What is the point in killing it?
Valona: The point is that it will come again. THe dragon has left its lair because someone has stolen the Indigo Star. Therefore, the dragon is interested in only two things: eating from the lake, and destroying everything in its path until it finds the Star or until the Star is returned.
Ari: Then why not return the Indigo Star to Naytin?
This is the best idea Ari has ever had, and EVERYBODY in the room is like, "What's wrong with that girl? Is she INSANE?"

The Dragonslayers need 5 volunteers. Ari stands up, so Finn volunteers in a heat of passion, followed by a jealous Lori. Then Ari recruits her dog and unicorn. 3 teenagers, a dog, and a unicorn?? That'll work.

Finn: Let's go!
Lori: You can sometimes be very annoying.
ROFL, this is coming from Lori.

Whatever. Ari so likes Finn and is way jealous of Lori.
I think that's why I never make romance Sims. Because they're always players. Life goal: Woohoo with 8 million other people and. STDs?

The Shifter's all, "I can't use the Star with that dragon about!" Oooh, ooh, how about you use the Star to KILL the dragon???? Moron.

Huh. The Shifter likes being in human form. I find that interesting.

There's a page on how much better unicorns are than horses. Well, I would love to agree, but there aren't many unicorns in my part of the country.

Whoa, Ari freed slaves from the Valley of Fear? I don't remember that.

"Finn's words brought tears to Ari's eyes. She wanted to walk up to him and hug him tightly. But instead she mirrored the smile he had on his face. And felt her cheeks turn red."
YOU LIKE HIM!!

What is it with all the stupid "wise" proverbs? "Sometimes it is the thorn that defeats the lion. The Shifter never sleeps."

"No one will defeat the Shifter now that he has in the Indigo Star. Soon the Shifter will rule the world." Are you kidding me? He has the worst plans ever.

A servant plans on stabbing Shifter in the heart. Ari's like, "No. There are other ways to defeat him." THAT'S SO STUPID!! She could stab him in the heart and he would be DEAD! The war would be OVER!! You'd get your CASTLE BACK!!

Lame. Ari hypnotizes him and he falls asleep.

Why does the Shifter want to be human so bad??

Indigo Star + Royal Scepter = amazing power. AND SHE DOESN'T KILL THE SHIFTER! YOU IDIOT!!

HOw does one return the colors back to Celestial Valley? Ari doesn't do anything of the sort, and suddenly the blue unicorns are back to their cerulean selves.

She gives the star back to Naytin. All is well.

Lame. Hey, it snowed today, so I have extra free time. Next, Madison Finn and maybe a Pony Pals.

Music is magic, or Avalon: Web of Magic #5: Spellsinger

This is my least favorite Avalon cover of all time. Why is everything all technicolor? Adriane's wearing an...interesting outfit, and she has purple hair.



Plot: The three mages are busy putting on the benefit concert they'd planned in the previous book. Popular girl band Be*Tween is coming!!
Oh no, wait, they're not coming, because Be*Tween has conveniently disappeared!
Kara (this is a Kara book) is SUPER BUMMED (I repeat, this is a Kara book), until Adriane books popular Elvis-esque singer Johnny Conrad! All the ladies love Johnny Conrad. Best of all, Johnny has proposed a contest: girls of all ages and talents can come audition to sing with him on stage! Emily doesn't care, because she thinks boys are icky, but Adriane's trying out because she can play guitar!!! Kara is tone deaf and has no other musical talents, but she plans to cheat and use the unicorn horn Lorelei gave them! Boo, foul play!
But Johnny is acting odd; he has taken an odd, rather creepy, interest in Kara, and the mages keep stumbling upon him in the library looking at the "secret" computer or reading books about spellsinging.
Spellsinging seems to be self explanatory, but not to the mages.
However, Kara manages to figure it out pretty quickly and creates spells using the unicorn horn to make her voice fabulous.
But, oh no, Lyra attacks her and Adriane starts acting nastily towards her! Kara doesn't know it, but a shapeshifting creature called the Skultum has taken Johnny's place and is wreaking havoc in order to get Kara to open the portal to Avalon for him.
Emily finally figures out what's going on, so she and Adriane reveal it to Kara at the concert. The three spellsing together and banish Skultum to some place, I forget where. Kara admits she was stupid, gives back the unicorn horn, and everything is instantly okay.

More notes:
Be*Tween's songs are about drugs. Or magic. Either one works. "Cuz I'm on a supernatural high!"

Ariel the owl is kind of annoying. "Hoo doo yoo doo?"

Joseph Blackpool, CEO
Cigam Management
HAHAHAHA! CIGAM BACKWARDS IS "MAGIC"!! Laaame.

Wow. Adriane AND Kara listen to Johnny Conrad? And the mere mention of him reduces Adriane to high pitched squeals and giggling fits? Dang.

Aagh, the Fairimentals are back.

Okay, whenever ANYTHING happens, Adriane's all, "I NEED TO CALL ZACH!!"

Emily: Hi. My name is Emily. Can Kara come out to play?
Kara: I'm acting like a real (children's literature, cuss word omitted) witch, aren't I?
Emily: Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?
If you were trying to be funny, Emily, it's not working.
OMG, like on TV last night!
"Matt Hasselbeck missed his calling as a stand-up comic!"

Johnny Conrad is just like Link Larkin...only he wears leather pants.

Ooh, what deep lyrics. "DANCE! DANCE! TAKE A CHANCE AND DANCE!"

Mayor Davies: I think you've already won the key to my daughter's heart."
:O If my dad said that in front of a thousand people, I would murder him.

Johnny's newest CD is called Under Your Spell. That's not suspicious or anything....

Adriane acts like a ho the entire time. Kara's pretty bad, but Adriane is so freaking mean.

Ozzie keeps talking in italics!!!

Adriane: We can hid everything behind the computer screen. Since only our jewels can open it, everything should be safe there. Oh. I forgot. You don't have a jewel.
WHAT IS HER PROBLEM??

Yay, steal the unicorn horn. Smart. Not.

:O Adriane makes "Welcome Johnny" banners and stuff and Kara takes the credit. Boooo...

Emily does like Johnny? Why is she then impervious to his charms?

Spellsing as one
And see your work done
Spellsing as three
And whatever you picture will be
Isn't that obvious? What else could that mean? Mages = confused.

Johnny keeps popping up in the library. The SECRET library. Where THE SECRET COMPUTER IS. Why is this OKAY??

Aaargh. He keeps talking about magic and being WAY OBVIOUS and Kara's just like, "Bam, he's hot, and all my BFFs are jealous."

Johnny thinks Kara has star power.

Mrs. Windor let the monkeys escape! Why did Emily and her mom have monkeys in the first place?

Kara: I stink! [at singing]
Lyra: I wouldn't say that.
Kara: Well, what would you say.
Lyra: You just need a litle help.
Kara: Exactly what I was thinking.
Lyra: A few lessons with a singing coach and maybe choir practice.
Kara: Oh-yeah.
Lyra: What were you thinking?
Oh, she was just justifying the fact that she STOLE THE UNICORN HORN, that's all.

Lyra thinks she's mad that Adriane is a stubborn witch.

A vocal coach and choir practice won't cure tone deafness, Kara.

I want to sing like a bird
The best in the world
Make my voice ring
I'm super stylin'
That's like a Hannah Montana song.

Kara now has a three-octave range.

And she can explode trees.

Adriane freaks out because Kara isn't concerned about the monkeys.

And she still wants to call Zach. Go buy a cellphone and get a service that has free long-distance.

Kara gets into Johnny's limo. Questionable....

Laame. He gives her a star power pep talk. LIES LIES LIES.

And he gives her a locket. Laaaame.

Kara throws Lyra out of the house after she "attacks" her. IT WASN'T LYRA!!! But Kara's too stupid to fiure that out.

Okay, Rachel Roberts gets Kara's friends mixed up. Tiffany started out with brown hair, Heather with red hair, and Molly with blonde hair, but she keeps switching on us.

Heather is apparently a really good singer.

OH no, she sings "Supernatural High", sending Kara in a rage.

Kara's friends still suck.

Okay, the prophecy was all: One will follow her heart, one will see in the darkness, and one will change utterly and completely. Guess which one's Kara's?

Emily gives her a pep talk and they talk about flobbins. Not really funny.

:O Adriane's outfit!!
She was startled to see Adriane standing before her wearing a black leather jacket and skirt, a black tube top, and black leather boots. Her hair, glistening with subtle red highlights, looked amazing.
Sounds like Aeon Flux. Or Amber??

Adriane apologizes...and then insults Kara's singing voice. Nice.

Of course she covers a rock and roll song. Saw it coming.

Kara blacks out and can't remember her performance. WHY AREN'T YOU FREAKED OUT??

"You went out there and you didn't stink. That's great." Shut up, Adriane.

Adriane calls Kara a slut. How nice.

They both decide to bow out of the contest.

Emily: Lightness of Being Spell. Makes you lighter than air.
Adriane: Can't wait to try that one out on Rapunzel.
Emily: *glare of death*
Adriane: You're right. She'd just put designer cement in her boots.
You know, Adriane was the one who hated Kara so much from the start. Isn't their bad relationship sort of HER FAULT??

Foreshadowing about the Dark Sorceress' next plan.

Oh no, Kara has a fairy map and the Skultum wants it.

Aaagh. Adriane cries when talking to Zachy-poo.

Pwned. The Skultum attacks Adriane.

JOHNNY'S ON THE SECRET COMPUTER!!!

Adriane has always been jealous of me. This is a bad thought to have, but it might actually be true.

"It would explain why Adriane had been acting like such a little witch lately." ROFL.

"She said...she should be the Blazing Star." AAARGH! Of course he's lying! And how does he know what a blazing star is??? COME ON, KARA, USE YOUR BRAIN!!

Oh no, Skultum dresses up as Adriane and pretends to be narcissistic. "#1 with a bullet, hot hot hottie, the new music sensation, oops, I win again!"

She's wearing shiny silver pants and a crop top. Would Adriane really wear that? Her hair sounds nice, though:
Her hair was layered in streaks of red, gold, and pink.

Kara smashes a chocolate cake in Adriane's face. Then Adriane stains her jacket. RAWR! Cat fight!!

She throws Adriane against a wall.

Fake Adriane changes back into Skultum in front of Kara, and she's just like, "Hmm, Adriane is also a dragon!!"

And Johnny appears as soon as Adriane leaves!!

In a world that spins so fast
Can't keep your feet on the floor
Where the future has no past
Open the door, open the door, open the door...
Okay, not only is that a stupid song, it's so obviously a spell.

The locket forces Kara to sing...and she never thinks of taking it off. Idiot.

Ha. She changes the lyrics to say, "Close the door, close the door."

Oh no, it's like battle of the bands. MAGIC STYLE!

Adriane gets out her guitar and sings with Kara. They should so create a band. Only Kara shouldn't be lead singer. Maybe keyboard?

Lol. They have a magic battle. Johnny sends a magic phoenix at them, and they kill it with a magic unicorn. OWNED!

Once Emily plays her flute and starts singing, they WIN!

Lame. Be*Tween's song mentions Avalon, and the girls aren't suspicious of that EITHER.

Aww, Kara lets Heather sing instead of Johnny.
Adriane says "rock-and-roll" way too much.

They give Kara a braclet even after she almost screwed them over.

Noyce. They get an e-mail from Be*Tween and Henry Gardener. "The magic is with you, now and forever."

Okay, sorry I haven't posted in so long, but I got kind of tired of posting for a while. Unicorns tomorrow, then Madison Finn, and maybe Pony Pals...not sure what else.

Because magical ponies with horns have much to teach us, or Avalon: Web of Magic #4: The Secret of the Unicorn

I really want to make a short film, though I think my artistic talents are limited to music. It's all good.



Plot: Oh dear. The fairy glen has vanished. Torrents of sick animals are pouring into Ravenswood. Emily can't feel the music. Something is definitely wrong.
Yeah, this book is about Emily, so we'll have to hear a lot about how she feels the animals' pain and that she can't be as strong as Kara or Adriane or whatever. :P
So Emily starts hearing this weird music and seeing a creepy looking face everywhere she goes, and she even passes out at a Stonehill football game.
The Three Musketeers go back to Ravenswood to heal a bunch of animals. Emily "senses" that there might be another hurt animal out in the woods, so she goes out looking for it with Ozzie and Storm. While she's gone, Kara and Adriane contact Zach, who informs them that the creature Emily is seeking might POSSIBLY be evil. Like, super evil. Uh oh.
Everyone is pretty much convinced the creature is evil, seeing as it blows up half the woods, but Emily believes "it's heart is pure" or something.
She does eventually find the magical beastie...and...it...is...a...UNICORN! No duh, you could probably tell from the cover. The unicorn's name is Lorelei and she seems to be missing her horn. She and Emily become soul mates.
Then a lumpy purple froglike thing named Ghyll appears and tells everyone that Lorelei is evil for sure.
Actually, NOTHING important happens in this book at all. Lorelei crashes a football game, she tells Emily of her painful past, they cry a lot.
Oh, and it was Lorelei's job to take care of the magic web, because that's what unicorns do, but the Dark Sorceress took her horn, so she slacked off. Typical. Blame Sorceress.
Then a harpy (some evil magical creature, don't know nor care what they are) comes and takes Lorelei away. Because he's looking for Avalon, the home of all magic, and only Lorelei knows how to get there.
Emily gets her friends to follow her into the portal, where harpy and uni have gone, and they all band together and pwn him, then send him through some random portal into an unknown world. Lol, wouldn't it suck if they happened to send him accidentally into Avalon?
So Lorelei gives Emily her horn and explains that a unicorn's horn can only be properly used when it has been freely given. Laaame. They repair the magic web together as a family. Then the mages repair the dreamcatcher (though they gave no reason why they were doing it the entire book!) with strands from the magic web.
All is well.

More notes:
Emily dreams about dancing.

Emily's in jazz band!! Or she was....

Aaargh, her dad is a saxophonist, too. Practically everyone in my family plays saxophone. DOWN WITH THE SAXOPHONE!

"Follow the music, Em. Don't be afraid to really feel it."
Oooh. Deep.

Everything Carolyn says is super condescending. DO NOT LIKE HER. Oh, and I like how she never seems to do anything but Emily practically runs Pet Palace.

She brings her dogs to a football game?? STUPID! Personal experience tells me this is a BAD idea.

"Maybe bringing her Pet Palace clients to the football game hadn't been such a hot idea after all."
Uh...yeah.

Marcus so likes Emily!!!! It's really adorable.

And Joey is super obvious about liking Adriane. "So, um, where's Adriane?"

"Marcus snickered. 'Dude, you are way too obvious.' He winked at Emily."
ROFL, said Marcus.

Emily is all oversensitive to music all of a sudden and assumes it's magic. Oooor you have Lyme Disease.

"She could see why Kara liked this boy; he had such deep blue eyes, full of compassion."
Why she goes for that fish boy is beyond me. Awww, Marcus was carrying her, too. Sooo cute....

Seriously, Emily and Marcus should get married and have like 6 kids.

Adriane always seems to have baby quiffles poking out of her vest pockets.

Adriane: I think we should contact Zach.
Kara: Need a last minute date to the harvest dance?

"'Show us where Zach is,' Adriane said, picturing the boy's handsome face and warm smile, the way his eyes danced."
If only Kara and Emily could read her mind....

"'How's the drake?' she asked, referring to the baby dragon Zach was helping to raise on Aldenmor."
"Helping" to raise? If I'm not mistaken, you left him alone on Aldenmor with Drake, and you are definitely not helping and PROBABLY not paying child support!

Zach: Adriane, I'm real glad to see you.
Adriane: Me, too.
Zach: I-
Adriane: Me, too.
He was so going to say, "I love you." Weird. They're only 13.

"Mistwolves fear nothing. Not even basilisks." Cuz all mistwolves are wimps and turn into mist and run rather than fight.

Ghyll the flobbin is looking for magic blobs. Right. I guess the author couldn't think of a better name.

Ozzie is even more annoying than usual in this book. He says, "Gah!" and kicks things a lot.

Okay, the first time Emily sees Lorelei, she's all, "That's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," and on the next page, she's like, "Lorelei would be beautiful if she wasn't covered in Black Fire." ??? But you just said....

Ozzie makes a mess in Pet Palace and Carolyn blames Emily and I guess took some extra condescending pills, because it gets super ugly.

Daaaang, it turns out Emily was hiding some anger about her parent's (or would it be parents') divorce and explodes.
Emily: Adapt? You're telling me to adapt? What about you? First you tell me to go out and make friends. Then you tell me to stay home more. Meanwhile you don't even try to adapt. You just work all the time and pretend everything's all fine and dandy. Don't tell me it's not true! I'm not stupid. What are you doing right now? It's Sunday, you know. Most vets take a day off once in a while. When was the last time you took a day off?
Carolyn: Lower your voice, Emily. And try to understand, I'm so busy-
Emily: Yeah, like you were so busy back in Colorado that you let your family fall apart! That's the reason we're here - that's why I have to worry about adapting - because you couldn't make things work with Daddy, so my whole life go ruined! I had to leave my olds friends, my old school, everything, and move to a whole new state! Ravenswood is the only really good thing that's happened to me here, and now you want to take it away from me! I'll be at Ravenswood, where I'm really needed.
:O I'm in shock. How about you?

Wait. Was there a custody battle? Did Carolyn win? And if not, why didn't Emily just decide to live with her dad?

Aaaargh, more wise words from the Native American grandma. Mostly nonsense proverbs that don't mean anything.

They try to rebuild the dreamcatcher with spaghetti.

They tell Kara to use her pink shoelaces. Why can't you use your own shoelaces?

Ew, Ghyll has a crush on Kara and there's a "funny" ongoing joke about him wanting to be kissed by a princess so he can become a prince.

"The band audition had been easy, since Emily could read music and had her own flute." Sometimes I think that's purely what they base band auditions on.

Lorelei runs onto the football field and Adriane takes out some football players to protect her. Um...whaat? Dang, Adriane.

Lorelei attacks the Evanston Eagle mascot.

Lol, Kara manages to convince everyone that Lorelei is the new mascot: The Stonehill Unicorns!! Jealous, I wish my mascot was the unicorns, though we'd probably be laughed out of the district.

Emily sings this song to Lorelei. It's like something out of "Tarzan":
Look into my eyes
Know that you can trust me
Listen to the sound
I'll always be around

Hear my words
Feel the magic in them
In friendship we are bound
I'll always be around

You and me
It's meant to be
We'll always be
Friends forever

Emily repeats herself a lot.

"Especially after what Zach told us!!??"
Um, Zach is a horny 13-year-old boy living in a magical world where he is the single parent of a baby dragon.

Lol. Kara is my BFF pretty much.

Emily plays flute...Adriane plays guitar...Kara wants to sing...they should form a band!! Foreshadowing, actually.

Hm, a creepy woman is trying to shut down Ravenswood...we need to put on a benefit concert! Seriously, I never would have come up with that.

Waaait...the Dark Sorceress captured Lorelei and cut off her horn...and Lorelei's all, "Oh no, the web is broken, all my fault." Um, not if they took your horn.

When in doubt, start singing.

Oh no, Ghyll is working for the sorceress! Ozzie kicks him a lot. It makes you feel sorry for Ghyll.

"It looks like the harpy is using Lorelei's magic to reweave the web, to make a new pathway from the connecting portals here."
Isn't that a good thing??

Because Kara sucks at singing, she can break the harpy's spell and save us all!

"Your horn may focus your magic, like our jewels. But the real magic is inside of you. Right here." In your heart.
AAARGH!! *gagging gagging*

Wait, Lorelei takes the harpy to Avalon supposedly, and that's considered noble?

Oh, she purposefully took them into the wrong portal!!! Silly unicorn!

"The magic of a unicorn can only be used when it is freely given. That is our secret."
Well, it's not a secret anymore. Way to sound like a Hallmark movie.

Ew, Kara kisses Ghyll and he turns into a purple lizard man...also known as a spriggle!

Adriane: What are going to do with the horn?
Kara: *eyes greedily*
Adriane: No, you can't wear it.
Lol, pwned.

Yay, a mother-daughter moment between Carolyn and Emily. All is forgiven.