If someone is mean, they have issues, or FTFO Madison Finn #19: Keep It Real

I read this a while ago. Haven't been posting, though, because it's summer and I could be...you know...watching "Monk" and playing with my dog.
Speaking of Tie, she was totally lying right next to me 2 seconds ago. What happened?



Plot: Madison Finn has had enough of Ivy Daly!!! Her English class has just received a new journal writing assignment, and Ivy always writes about how perfect and wonderful her life is. It just makes Madison sick; partly because Ivy is such a fake, and partly because Ivy writes so much in her journal. Journal writing is Madison's territory!!!
It turns out Ivy's life is NOT so perfect after all!!! Her mom has breast cancer.
Fran tells Madison to be nice to Ivy because her mom is sort of dying, but Madison finds it hard when Ivy continues to be such a meanie.
Finally, she convinces her friends to stop giving Ivy such a hard time. Good enough.

More notes:
"We started 'journaling', which is basically keeping track of feelings and observations and all that [in case you didn't know what journaling was]...which is what I do every day on this computer anyway! [Lol, me, too!]"

Madison's first assignment is to write about a very successful or very embarassing moment. Pick embarassing, you've got plenty of those.

The Gang goes to Madison's house.
Hart: Gee, I've never been in your house before.
Drew: Yeah, you have. Haven't you?
Fiona: *to Madison* You WISH Hart had been in your house before....

Egg almost breaks a glass penguin belonging to Madison's mom.
Madison: Careful! My mom got that in the antarctic!
Because they have so many glass penguin shops in the antarctic.

Madison finds it weird that Egg speaks Spanish...even though he's bilingual.
Although he's quite "Dora the Explorer" about it. "Mi mami got it for me. She rocks."

"As Egg clicked away, Madison prayed that his fingers wouldn't slip and cause him to select one of her e-mail messages or open the secret folder on her desktop tht held her files. She had visions of Hart standing there while a dozen different files carrying his name opened up.
Hart Jones
Hart (continued)
Mr. & Mrs. Jones
The One
Him"
Wow. She has officially passed into stalking territory.

Ooh, there's a new exotic website called BLOGGERfishbowl, where bigfishbowl members can BLOG.

Oh no, they come across Madison's journal assignment...and it's blank.
Hm. Either way, that sucks.

Ivy accuses Madison of wicked PMS, but Madison doesn't want to admit that she HASN'T STARTED HER PERIOD.
I don't think she ever will, if it's been three years and she's still 12.

Madison's like, "Ew, Hart has crooked teeth."
So????

Hart: Looked like Ivy and you were arguing.
Madison: Big surprise.
Hart: She gets weirder every day.
Madison: I actually thought you liked her.
Hart: Me? Like Ivy? Uh...not exactly. She's pretty and all that, but sometimes she's just...well, I said it. She's a big weirdo.
Madison: She likes you.
Hart: Whatever.
I think he still likes her. Way to lie and be all, "Me, like her? No way."

Hart: Later, Finnster. Er...Maddie. Sorry, I guess I should stop calling you Finnster. I know it bugs you.
Madison: Yeah, well... No, Finnster isn't so bad. I like it. Don't stop. Really.
Hart: Really?
Madison: I just need to think of a good nickname for you.
Hart: Uh...Egg calls me Loser sometimes. Or Weasel.
Madison: I was thinking more like Hunk.
Hart: Huh? What did you just say???
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Madison: What? I said, 'Dork'. Why? What did you think I said?
Hart: Oh yeah, that's me. Super Dork, actually. *wink*
Phew. Crisis averted. ROFL, that was pretty hilarious, though.

Aimee is depressed because her ballet teacher has breast cancer. Foreshadowing?

Madison tells her mom about the breast cancer.
Fran: It seems like so many women I know have it these days.
Madison: Really? I remember your friend from work. Who else?
Fran: Oh. No one in particular, honey bear.
More foreshadowing!!!

Madison is surfing BLOGGERfishbowl when she comes across a blog written by...*drumroll*...Vicki, AKA Bigwheels, HER KEYPAL!!!
Bigwheels' latest entry:
I know I need to just relax but how can I relax when I don't get any sleep either? I think I'm going to check out one of the chat rooms Dad told me about. I never knew it affected so many kids. I also found out that I can volunteer down @ the speech center in Seattle. I don't think I'll be working with kids who have autism but I will probably learn a lot.
--BW

Autism??? What a concept.
Madison is less concerned by the entry, however, and more concerned about why BIGWHEELS NEVER TOLD HER ABOUT THIS SECRET BLOG!! BETRAYAL!!!

Hey, Madison gets an e-mail from Hart...one that turns out to be a mistake:
From: Sk8ingboy
Hey, guys, my dad just called the FH rink and the dude there said we can play next wkend which is cool so let's find other guys and we'll be hooked up. I was thinking maybe we could go over to Drew's to play the Zone again b4 we sk8 since the game @ Maddie's was so lame. Ok. E-me l8r.

Whoa, wait. The game at Maddie's was LAME? Does that mean the game was stupid or Madison is lame?

Madison has to write a story about a scar, so she writes about the divorce, which is a metaphorical scar.
But then she gets off topic and has to rewrite the entire thing.
Been there.

Oooh, big juicy gossip! Ivy is dating a high-school sophomore!!!
???
But is she SLEEPING with him? Otherwise, that's only SORT OF creepy.

Uh oh...he was talking about her in the locker room. GROSS.

There's actually not that many cute guys at other schools. I'm pretty satisfied with the ones at mine, but Madison thinks otherwise.

Lance reads his scar story outloud in class, and it turns out Lance has a heart defect!!! For Madison, this explains all his nerdy tendencies.
Yeah. Because heart defects cause a person to be socially challenged.

Hmm, Madison hears Ivy crying in the bathroom. EVEN MORE FORESHADOWING??

?? Madison's mom goes on a date...but doesn't tell Madison what went on.

She still wants her parents to get back together, even though her dad is married now?? It's cool if Stephanie gets hurt and everything....

Aargh, Madison's friends twist the rumor about Ivy and make it sound like she's dating a COLLEGE sophomore!!!! Aargh, they're so mean!!
Drew tells them to leave her alone, and they're all, "Ha ha, you like Ivy!!"

Uh oh. It appears Hart still likes Ivy. All his friends are teasing him about it.
He WAS lying after all.

Journaling #3
Topic: List twenty details about someone you know. Try to include details that are about more than just physical appearance.
Egg asks Madison to read her list outloud...but she can't...because it's about HART.

Egg writes about his sister Mariah, who has blue hair and a nose ring. Jealous.

Fiona writes about Madison, but one of her details is "Bad at keeping secrets".
Ouch.

Since they don't have a science teacher and they can't get a sub, Madison's science class has to work in the library the entire period.
And Madison is stuck with Poison Ivy.
Fuuuun.

Madison doesn't remember Ivy's middle name, which is Renee...
...but Ivy remembers MADISON'S middle name, which is Francesca.
Random.

Turns out Ivy already did all the journaling assignments and asked for more!! Oh, I want some, too.

Madison wants those extra assignments.
But Ivy won't give them to her.
Because Madison never shares her science notes.
Catfight!

Madison peeks into Ivy's journal:
Write about a time you had to wait for something you wanted.
What's the point of writing about this? I am supposed to see M. and H. as soon as possible, but I don't know what will happen. J. didn't have happy....

Madison assumes M and H stand for "Madison" and "Hart".

Bigwheels is sorry, but she doesn't feel comfortable telling Madison what's going on in her life.
Madison retaliates and whines, "You always told me to keep it real. You can talk to me!!"
Someone just wants to know the juicy gossip.
Hello. Problem solve. It has to do with AUTISM.

Madison runs into Hart in the hallway.
Madison: I'm such a klutz. I can't believe I whammed into you like that. I am SO sorry. And now look at this mess....
Hart: My dad would call this a happy accident. He always says profound things like that.
What are you implying??

Uh-oh. Hart might've looked at Madison's journal! There's no telling what he saw!
Hmm, it turns out he might've seen "MADISON JONES" written in huge letters.

Aimee's obsessed with the whole "high school sophomore" thing. "OMG, HIS NAME IS FRED!"

And he apparently got suspended once for using drugs.

Wows. The 4th journaling assignment is to write a description of someone you know, and using inflammatory language, Madison writes a pagelong rant about Poison Ivy.

It turns out Mrs. Daly (Ivy's mom) has breast cancer, too!
It's a small world after all.

Duh. The M and J in the notebook stood for "Mom" and "Janet".

It turns out the high-school sophomore is a member of a cancer support group that Ivy goes to and they're JUST FRIENDS.

Madison doesn't want to be nice to Ivy because her FRIENDS will think she's weird.
You could bring up the CANCER. That might help.

Fran STILL won't tell Madison who she's dating...or whether or not she's dating AT ALL.

Madison accidentally tells her friends about the date, and they're all, "OMG, GOSSIP!"
Madison: No! You guys... This is how rumors get started.
Yeah. Remember the "college sophomore" thing?

Fiona: Walter's cute, and I like him a lot, but he can be really, really embarrassing sometimes.
He's a GUY! Not only that, he's in 7TH GRADE! Of course he's embarrassing!

Drew, the rich kid, brags about his new BASEBALL CARD COLLECTION. He even has an original Honus Wagner card!!!
Um, cool...but what's the point?? It's not like there's anyone to trade with him.

Hart grabs Madison's hand suggestively. ????

Fran doesn't want to wear a red dress on one of her dates, because that would send the WRONG IMPRESSION.
Either this guy is religious or it's not a date.

Dude, it's okay if you lie in your journal. Denial is the first step in processing grief. And it's her PRIVATE JOURNAL. It's not like anyone's going to find out.
And Madison doesn't even CARE about the lies Ivy is writing. She's just jealous that Ivy is in her DOMAIN of journals and collages.

Bigwheels reveals her secret: Her brother Eddie has mild autism.
Now he doesn't like being touched, can't sit still, hit himself in public, and apparently can't talk.
Ooooh...poor Bigwheels.

Madison's like...Oh.

The grades were so bad on the last science quiz that Madison's teacher gave everyone an A!!!!!
Whoa...I wish my science teacher had been that nice. I had the highest grade in the class with a B-!

Just when Madison is about to be nice to Ivy, Ivy has to tell another lie about her perfect life, making Madison "madder than mad".

Fran wasn't going on dates...she was meeting with a bigwig to discuss her promotion!! Soon they'll be rich!

Madison is mad that her mom didn't tell her first, though. After she told everyone else. Including Jeff, the guy she had a kid with.
Yeah, I'd probably tell Jeff first, too.

Argh. Madison's friends start being REALLY mean about Ivy (claiming she's on drugs, making fun of her outfit, etc.), so Madison tells them to quit it.
And...ugh, I hate them so much.
Aimee: Are you defending her?
Madison: no, no! But I just think...that maybe...we're being a little harsh...
Friends: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Madison: What's so funny?
Aimee: Maddie, we're talking about the Queen of Harsh here, Poison Ivy Daly, remember? How could we possibly come near her level of mean?

THAT'S your excuse?? When is it EVER okay to accuse someone of being on drugs??? I freaking HATE Aimee.

Wth, Aimee gets WORSE!!
aIMEE: I just saw her crying outside one of hte bathrooms. Can you believe it? Ivy never cries. She's more like an emotional freezer. She doesn't care about anyone else except herself.
Fiona: What was she crying about?
Aimee: Herself. She ran out of lip gloss. Oooh! Poor me!
B**ch.

Madison does some really LAME defending.
Madison: I think Ivy's got a problem.
Aimee: NO KIDDING!
Fiona: HAHAHAHAHA! [I hate her, too]
Madison: No, you two, I'm serious. I think maybe she has a real problem.
Fiona: You're serious?
Aimee: Like, what problem? What do you know that you aren't telling us?
Madison: I just...I don't know anything for sure. But I just think that maybe Ivy is really sad. Maybe she's not being a drama queen for once.
Fiona: I guess you could be right.
Aimee: Please! I can't stay for the pity party.
For the love of God, Aimee!! Who's an emotional freezer now? She doesn't even care!! And Madison just laughs along with her to the pity party comment.
Is it sad that I'm getting really riled about what a fictional character is saying??
Whatever. She's a STUPID fictional character.

Lo and behold! The girls come upon a lady whose son has autism!

Madison: It's so weird that you saw Mrs. Reynolds like that, because I was just wondering about autism.
Aimee: Huh? You were? Maddie, why were you wondering about that?
Madison: Oh, I don't know, Aim, I saw a TV show on autism once...and I-I've always wondered about it. That's all.
Aimee: That's so random, Maddie.
Dude, holy crap. Is Aimee THAT OBLIVIOUS?? What a crappy friend.

Now that Fran is rich, she takes Madison on a joyous shopping spree.
Dang, my parents are the opposite of rich right now.
Stupid gas prices.

And they run into Paige and Ivy Daly at the mall!! Awkward...
I think Mrs. Daly is bald. That's how I pictured her, anyway.

Awww...Ivy is so sad about her mom.
But she also doesn't want anyone to start treating her like a leper because she has a sick mom.
That's the Ivy we know and love. You were scaring me for a minute there, Ivy.

Omg, Mrs. Daly has an asthma attack! Or something. Does cancer affect the respiratory system, too?

Mrs. Daly just randomly throws her arms around Madison and kisses her on the cheek. WHOA. There's this thing we call "The Bubble". You're not respecting it.

For her last journal assignment, Madison has to write a piece from someone else's point of view, so she writes about Ivy. It's pretty depressing.

Yay, Eddie's made progress! He can talk now!!
Maybe he'll grow up to be like the autistic kids at my school who are really good at spelling.
But that's assuming all autistic kids have some sort of superpower when in fact they're just normal kids...sort of.

Surprise! Hart comes over.
And he ran the entire way???
Ha ha, like in #16. "Are you okay?" "Oh yeah, I have asthma."

Chocolate cookies are overrated.
But both Madison and Hart like them. They have SOOOO much in common!!

Wh-What?
Hart: Are you okay?
Madison: No.
And she tells him all about what's been going on...and he listens??? That's cool.

But then, out of the blue, he's all, "You're really nice." Which makes you wonder if he was really listening.

They agree to "do something"...as in go on a date.

Hart: You know...I should tell you something.
Madison: What?
Hart: Well, do you remember the day when you and I collided at school? And your bag fell apart?
Madison: Yeah?
Hart: Well...I saw your journal that day. I saw what you wrote.
Madison: Saw what?
Hart: I saw my name on that page.

Then he just LEAVES!!! MIXED-MESSAGES!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN????

But then Fran comes home and says, "Hart run all the way here? He loves you!"
So everything is okay.

Madison's Computer Tip:
If you want to keep your thoughts and feelings secret, don't write them down in a blog.

Well, I obviously DON'T.
Hm, fun fun fun.
The next one takes place in NYC, so it should be sparkly and fun, according to the back cover.
Agh, I started reading #21, which I'd never read before, and it's a little disappointing. But whatever. I'll be here forever, so expect more later.

Happy Fictional Father's Day!!!, or FTFO Madison Finn #18: Give Me a Break

It's Father's Day!! Yay!!! This is the day where I thank God for giving me a father more able than Jeff Finn.
Ironically, Madison Finn #18 involves fathers. Sort of. It's mostly about friendship and superstition, but Jeff takes Madison on a big ski trip, so it's pretty appropriate.
Wth? In the library summary, they make it sound like Madison has to choose between Fiona and Aimee, but Fiona's already going somewhere for the holidays, so picking her isn't even an option.
I highly doubt the person who wrote that read the book.



Plot: Winter Break is here and Madison expects to be bored out of her wits. She is so jealous of her friend, Fiona, who is going to California for the holidays. UNFAIR!!!
Then Jeff Finn has a brilliant idea: why doesn't he take his wife, daughter, and best friend to a 5 star ski resort???? Wouldn't that be fun??
Honestly? Sounds like one of the BSC vacations, where the parents pay for EVERYONE.
Madison is all for it. She grabs Aimee and they head off to Big Mountain (seriously, that's the name.)
Unfortunately, they keep running into bad luck!! On the drive up the mountain, they get TWO flat tires. They also rent a HAUNTED cabin, and get into fights!!
It's just omen after bad omen!!!
Not only that, Aimee is being totally snobby, and Madison blames HER for all the bad luck.
After Madison chooses a cute boy to be her ski partner rather than Aimee, Aimee flies in a jealous rage down the mountain...and sprains her wrist!!
This is either the worst vacation or the best vacation ever.
I'm enjoying it.
Madison is so angry at Aimee. She ruined their vacation!!! Aimee sacrifices TLC and good medical care, however, to let Madison enjoy the slopes for two more days. Wow. She's a good friend...especially since Maddie's such a brat in this one.
Even more bad luck!!! Madison realizes all her superstitions are stupid and breaks down...but Aimee is there to boost her ego and say, "No, all your superstitions aren't dumb! I believe them!"
That way, Amiee has to apologize first and nothing is expected of Madison.
So lame. Anyway, they are friends forever.

More notes:
Fiona wears a lot of purple, specifically the shade "grape".

Egg knocks Devo and Tears for Fears. Jerk.

"The truth was that Aimee, Madison, and Fiona had gone to a few hockey games - and practices, too. Fiona went because her brother was on the team and because she wanted to see Egg in slap-shot action. Madison went to ogle Hart in his ice skates."
Wth? They actually let other students come to practice??? SOOOO prohibited at my school. Lol!! "Oooooh...your ice skates are SOOOOO hot...score another goal..."

Aw, poor Madison and Aimee. Fiona is going to California for winter break!!! Madison and Aimee have to watch hot boys play hockey and work at the Cyber Cafe (for money!!!).

Madison finds a chain letter Aimee receives and FREAKS OUT!! They HAVE to send it to five people or they'll have FIVE YEARS OF BAD LUCK.
Oooo, I'm scared. They send a copy to Poison Ivy.
Why are they so mean to her???

Whaaaat? Maddie might not be into Hart anymore???

LAAAAME. Hart doesn't have the balls to ask her out, and Madison doesn't want to make the first move, either.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought the cute guy next door was named JOSH. Madison seems to think his name is Toby.
Nooooooo. That would be the random high school guy you met in #11 whilst walking your dog.

She reminisces about Mark and how she messed up because she NEVER e-mailed him (but he never exactly e-mailed her, either).

Whoas. How rich is Madison's dad? They're staying in a 5 star resort, and Madison can take her friend AND her dog.

On the last day of school before winter break, all the teachers show movies instead of teaching class.
AS IT SHOULD BE.

Aimee screws up things with Hart. She not only embarasses him, but implies that Maddie should find someone new.
WHY ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH HER, MADDIE?

BIGWHEELS IS SICK AGAIN!!! I bet tomorrow her computer will crash, but as soon as she gets a new one, she'll be grounded, and then when she finally gets to use her e-mail again, she'll be sick.
It's a vicious cycle.

Bigwheels wants to meet Maddie in person.
Aaagh...what if she's really a creepy child molestor!?

Oh no, Madison has no cute ski clothes! She'll be laughed off the slopes!

So far, Madison has a sweatshirt, ski pants, a jacket, and some jeans.
If you never change clothes, that could last you a few days.

"Even though Madison was feeling much more alert, Aimee's high-pitched squeals were still over the top."
I hate morning people.
Agh, my dog woke me up at 6:15 this morning, but when I want to be awake and play with her, she's tired and wants to go to bed.
??? I thought you were a terrier!

They hear the same song on the radio within ten minutes!!
Good omen!!!

Jeff gets lost and refuses to ask for directions.
Here's to Dad's who never ask for directions!! Yaaaay!

Two flat tires!!! And Jeff forgot his AAA card!! They'll never get a tow now!

Stephanie totally chews him out...then pulls out HER AAA card for him to use.
Why didn't you just give it to him in the first place?

Lol. They go to a love calculator website. Those crack me up, but Madison TOTALLY takes them seriously.

Hart and Madison have only a 26% chance of romance!! Say it isn't so!!!

Madison has a better (85%) chance with EGG!!! Ew.

Aimee and Ben have a 74% chance. Ew, I hate them both.

Uh oh. Hart and Ivy have an 81% chance of romance.
Lol. Madison's ideal love connection is Philip Ayres, who sits next to her in math class.
So she types in her and Hart's MIDDLE names and they get an 81% chance, just like Hart and Ivy.
Ew, Hart's middle name is Jefferson???

Oh no, Madison sees a black cat! Bad omen?
Nope. It's just a squirrel.

Aimee makes fun of Hart, because he's a commitmentphobe.
Then again, this is junior high, but getting played kind of sucks.

Lol. The skylights open and it snows in their cabin. Bad omen.
Then again, they now have their own personal ski trail.

NOYCE!!! The resort reimburses them for one night's stay, and pays for their lift tickets AND lunch!!
HOLY CRAP!!
If I'd been there, I would be shoveling snow into my cabin every DAY!!

The manager even sends them APOLOGY BREAKFAST!!! Pastries and yogurt!!! sWeEt!!!

AAargh. Madison spills the salt, screams, and tosses it over her shoulder...which blinds Phinnie for life.

Wth???
"Aimee unzipped her suitcase and took out a perfectly matched outfit - a pair of purple ski pants and an orange fleece pullover. Underneath, she would wear a little shirt with flowers embroidered across the neckline."
Purple and ORANGE??? What about that is MATCHING???? Madison's jealous that Aimee is so "fashionable". I think the appropriate word is "color-blind".

Red pants, a black T-shirt, and a pink hat doesn't work that well, either, but I guess the point is to stay warm.

Oooh, an exotic Spanish ski instructor.
Aimee is in lust.

Aimee: We're here for lessons.
Ski instructor: Are you? Well, I'm the instructor.
Madison: Can we sign up for you?
Aimee: She means, can we register for you and your lessons?
Ski instructor: Certainly. I'm Carlos. Let me get Jennifer. She will help you get signed up.
Mmmmm, Carlos, I want to learn how to ski. Lol.

Aimee totally throws herself at Carlos, but when Madison spazzes out about a piece of strawberry stuck in her teeth, Aimee is all, "He's only the ski instructor, Maddie."
*cough* HYPOCRITE *cough*

Whoas. Stephanie and Dad buy Madison sunglasses, gloves, a ski suit, and a headband.
It would suck to be Aimee in that situation.

Ooh, the ski pants have a bib. Yay, ski overalls!

Oooh, Madison runs into a cute boy named Hugh Jackson.
H...J. Hey, he has the same initials as Hart Jones!

Foster Lane, Aimee's favorite movie star, is at the resort!!!
That would suck if there was a celebrity at your resort...but it was someone you despised, like Tori Spelling.

"When Aimee set her mind to something, she was often successful. Maybe it was a combination of always speaking her mind and batting her eyelashes."

Hugh: freckles, green eyes, blond hair.
In other words, Zac Efron!!!

Jeff gives Madison and Aimee necklaces with a bunny charm. Oh, I get it! Snow bunnies!!! -_-

Ugh, of course, Madison has to go overboard and convince herself that the snow bunny necklace is good luck.

Lol. Aimee takes off the necklace because it doesn't match her outfit. Madison's like, "NOOOO, BAD LUCK, BAD LUCK!"

Stephanie believes in a superstition about sneezing.
One for sorrow, two for joy, three for a letter, four for a boy, five for silver, six for gold, seven for a secret never to be told.
What is that supposed to mean?? And I thought it was seven for DEATH.
Because we were talking about that in math, and then Sam sneezed four times in a row, so Mr. Kovacs was all, "4 sneezes closer to DEATH!" It was pretty hilarious.

LAAAAAME. The waiter tells them a story about Mr. White, who supposedly froze to death outside his cabin. Wait. MADISON'S cabin was once his cabin!!
How is she believing this??? HE'S A WAITER!!!

Stephanie leaves to go to the bathroom when Madison and Aimee start talking about old memories when Maddie's parents were still together, and Madison flips out at Aimee. "Why did you start talking about my mom!!1?? It made Stephanie cry!!"

Aagh. Aimee blows up at Madison, and understandably so.
Owl: Hoooo hoooo hoooo.
Madison: Oh no! THree times! Bad luck!
Aimee: Huh? Three what? Maddie, stop obsessing about your stupid superstitions!
Madison: What do you mean, stupid?
Aimee: I mean, can you please stop being so neurotic for five minutes and just go back to sleep?
Madison: Neurotic? Quit acting like you know everything.
Aimee: What do you mean by that? I don't know everything. Who said I knew everything?
Madison says some nasty stuff about Aimee's ballet ability, and Aimee snaps back.
Girls....

Aimee and Stephanie have a special bonding time.
I would be soooo jealous.

Lol. Madison fell asleep on her bunny charm and it made a HUGE indent in her face.

Madison writes Bigwheels and complains about how slutty Aimee is and how much she's CHANGED.
Um, isn't Aimee flirty ALL THE TIME?? And you go for older guys, too, Madison, so don't be mean to your best friend.

Hmm, Hugh lives in Reston, which is close to Far Hills. Love Connection!
Isn't Reston that town where the Sandy girl in Pony Pals #19 was moving??
Sorry.

Madison tells Aimee she's acting like Poison Ivy.
I think spending time with Poison Ivy would be preferable to listening to Madison moan.

Lol. Aimee has to be partners with some girl...but Madison is partners with Hugh.

Then Aimee gets mad when Madison won't switch partners. Hello, hot guy, more important than friendship, obviously.

Hugh: Your friend looks bummed. You should ski with her.
Madison: I do everything with her. I would rather ski with you.
Whoa, Maddie. How positively bold of you.

Aimee falls down the mountain!!!!! No lie!!!

How would a broken wrist prevent you from dancing in a ballet recital?? I want to know.

At least it's only a sprain...but it will be in a cast for 4 weeks. Ouch.

Madison is so selfish. Her best friend just hurt her wrist and needs to go home, and the only thing Madison cares about is her vacation.

Argh. Madison is convinced the accident happened because neither girl wore their ski bunny charm.

Bad timing. Gramma Helen, not knowing about Aimee's accident, sends Madison an e-mail that says, "Don't fall of the mountain!"

Fiona e-mails about her brother Chet's sprained foot and complains about how she can't do ANYTHING now. Hello, your BROTHER sprained his foot, not you. Just ditch him and go have fun. You're in CALIFORNIA!

Heeeeey...Drew's gf's name is ELAINE, not Emily. Unless he broke up with Elaine and started going out with a new girl...whose name ALSO happens to begin with E.

Aw. Aimee decides to stay so Madison can enjoy her vacation.
Madison totally does NOT thank her best friend.

Ooh, Madison puts on MAKEUP to impress Hugh. Lol. If only she knew what was coming.

They practice on a slope called Four-Leaf Clover.
Good omen!

Ewwww, root beer.

They ask if CARLOS, the 25-year-old Spanish ski instructor, will be Aimee's true love. Yeah, I see that happening.

Yay, the chain letter worked!! Ivy got gum in her hair!! So mean.

I hate people that only apologize when the other person did. Aimee says she believes in superstitions and that she's sorry for almost ruining the vacation because she was dumb (the accident was NO accident; she was just showing off). Madison apologizes, but doesn't specify what she's sorry about. Meaning she's not really sorry. -_-

OH NO! Hugh can't ski with Madison anymore! He'd rather go skiing with his friends and parents, and ski demos are lame anyway.

Madison freaks out!! She acts like they were dating or something, when, in actuality, they've known each other 2 days. Totally overreacting.

AND overdramatic. "I'm...all...alone!!! *sob*"

To show Madison she is a good friend, Aimee wears her snow bunny necklace, which restores Madison's faith in good and bad luck and omens and so forth.

They met Foster Lane, but Madison doesn't think he is cute because he has acne.
It's not like people CHOOSE to have acne. My brother has it, and my friends are always asking all slyly, "Mmmm, who's he??" It's creepy. And weird.

"Maybe everything happened so we could see that the best lucky charm was with us all along--each other."
GAG! This isn't "Sesame Street".

Lol. Madison and Aimee play that apple game where you twist off the stem and poke through the skin. Aimee gets WD, for Walter Diaz!!! But he's supposed to be Madison's "true love"? Oh well.
Madison gets HJ, and is like, "Oh no, not Hugh!" Um, duh. Hart Jones.

WHOA. As soon as Madison gets home, Hart IMs her and asks if she would like to go skating with him. Well, him, and all their friends, but still.
Okay, and it WAS on IM, but it's a start.

Madison's Computer Tip:
The Internet is a great place to search for trends, fashion tips, and other ideas about what's hot - and in my case, what's not.

Fun, fun, fun. The next book is more serious, and a little lamer, as Madison takes out her frustrations on Poison Ivy. It's like permanent PMS or something. Hopefully she'll be better by #20.

CSI is so passe, or FTFO Madison Finn #17: On the Case

This is one of the ones that I could never remember the title to. Seriously, I could rattle off all 25 Madison Finn titles...except this one. I don't know why. It wasn't very exciting.



Plot: Madison loves "Crime Time", an exciting TV show where crimes are solved!!! Sounds like the Far Hills version of CSI. Soon, Madison begins to think SHE can solve crimes!!
People humor her for a little while, and she ends up solving a few petty cases (like The Case of the Missing Keys and The Case of the Lost Kittens), but then she stumbles across a real live mystery at her very own school!
It seems Mr. Olivetti, Madison's flute teacher, lost a very important piece of music. Some people believe it was stolen.
Madison rushes to track down the supposed thief, but does so without the support of her BFF, Aimee. In fact, Aimee seems to think all this Private Investigation is *gasp* DUMB!! The two have several nasty fights, and it seems they will NEVER be friends again!
Thankfully, Madison crashes and burns just in time: the music wasn't STOLEN, just misplaced, and the person she had been suspecting was innocent. Madison admitted how stupid she was to her friends and they welcomed her back with open arms. Sort of.

More notes:
Dang. Maddie is obsessed. She doesn't eat dinner and yells at her mom when she interrupts "Crime Time". And she has a crush on Major Demille. I mean, what freak has a crush on characters from TV...?
Besides me?

Argh. Francine turns off the TV because it isn't proper viewing material...then turns it back on because her daughter complains. Way to be consistent.

Fun, Fiona comes over to watch a "Crime Time" marathon. Par-tay. Actually, I did that with my friend back in the day. We watched nothing but MTV for six hours.

"Fiona had been "going out" (at least that's what they called it) with one of Madison's best guy friends, Walter "Egg" Diaz, for a little while. At first, Madison had hated the idea of their dating, but she was getting used to it over time."
WHOA WHOA WHOA. Madison hated that Egg and Fiona were together??? WHEN??? I don't remember that EVER. She was always like, "Hey, Fiona, go jump in Egg's lap!"

I hate when Madison gets serious about stupid things.
Tonight, we meet a robber who wears a different disguise for every robbery he commits. Last week, he broke into houses wearing a rabbit suit. Yesterday, he knocked off a bank wearing a red beard and a patch over one eye. Tomorrow, who knows what he'll be wearing?
Fiona: A hula skirt. HAHAHAHA.
Madison: Fiona, these are serious crimes.
Fiona: Serious? In a rabbit suit?
Yeah, Maddie, lighten up.

Ugh, lame, the episode is based on true events, and the girls hear "scary noises" so they assume it's THE MASKED AVENGER.

It's just AIMEE, of course!! She wants to join their party!

Egg is jealous of Major Demille???
"Who is that turkey?"
Lol. I'll be saying that a lot from now on.

Madison is being spazzy with Hart again!!
Madison: Hi, Hart.
Hart: I saw you earlier. I guess you didn't see me.
Madison: Oh? No, I guess I didn't. I've been a little preoccupied today. Sorry.
Hart: So, what's up? Why are you so preoccupied?
Madison: Yes.
Hart: Huh?
Madison: I'm fine.
Hart: *sigh* Actually, what I asked you was-
Madison: Do you ever watch "Crime Time"?

Hart is still being way mean to Ivy...but she IS pretty annoying.

Hart plays piano??? Random.

Yay, Blossom's puppies are mentioned!
Ew, Hart adopted one of them and named it Bones Jones.

Aimee kept two of the puppies and named them Yin and Yang. Or rather, her mom did. Ha ha, let's make New Age jokes! -_-

Oh no, some of Madison's things are missing!! Sounds like a mystery.

Phin took them and made a Madison shrine. Weird.
Tie did that. Well, she took my stuff, but didn't make a shrine out of it.
She just chewed most of it.

Ugh, Maddie reminds me so much of the Pony Pals. They were obsessed with snooping and solving mysteries, too.

Fall Fling-A-Ding?? No comment.

"She had just been ogling a pair of cute corduroy pants with flowers embroidered near the cuff."
I try to avoid the word ogling. Sounds pervy.

Madison eavesdrops on a conversation between two nameless girls...and it sounds suspicious.
Well, it does to her, anyway. They sound like they're talking about drugs or a concert. Okay, I guess drugs are pretty suspicious.

Madison: Excuse me.
8th grader: Yeah? What are you looking at?
Madison: Um, I thought you were...I thought...I heard...girls....
LOL. I heard girls.

Madison picks up a scrap of paper with a date, time, and address. Drug deal...or fabulous party??

Ivy seems way jealous of Madison these days. She tells Madison to back away from Hart.

Argh. Mr. Olivetti, Madison's flute teacher, is Italian, so he has the stupid Mario/Luigi accent.

Madison needs better comebacks. She loses another Ivy showdown.

AAargh, I can't believe she's SERIOUS!!
Madison: Don't you think I was pretty clever, Dad, for figuring out what Phin was doing?
Dad: Very, very clever.
Madison: Cut it out, Dad! I was thinking...maybe I should be a detective when I grow up.

Don't encourage her, Stephanie!
"A detective! That's what I wanted to be when I was your age! Believe it or not, Maddie. Sometimes my friends used to call me Sleuthie instead of Stephie at my high school back in Texas."
Stephanie often talks to Madison like she's a little kid. Or just stupid.

Dan is sort of stalking Madison still.

Lame. Some ninth graders randomly come up and start calling Dan a fatty.
"Madison felt her fists clench.
If she were only a little taller...and a little stronger..."
It wouldn't do any good, Maddie. Dan would NOT thank you.

The only reason Dan asked Madison to help him at the animal shelter is because there's an EMERGENCY!!
Someone keeps taking the animals out of their cages! And taking dog treats and chew toys!
And he hasn't told his mom.

Madison suspects Lana.
"LANA! IT'S YOU!"
Lana dies of cardiac arrest.

She just wanted to hold the kittens and feed the puppies!!

How did Madison know?? Cat hair on her sweater.

Okay, so stupid. Eileen, Dan's mom, doesn't fire Lana because it's NOT THAT BIG A DEAL. Dan's like, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH SHE BROKE THE RULES!"

What?? Major Demille is blonde with blue eyes. Reggie, Bigwheels' BF, was last described as having black hair and hazel eyes.
But, somehow, Reggie looks like Major Demille? HOW??

Madison literally wants to be the next Nancy Drew.
Too bad Emma Roberts put you out of a job.

Madison's friends hate it when Ivy makes fun of people, but then they gossip in front of Lana and tell everyone how she "stole" the kittens. It's so mean!

Aimee thinks all this detective work is stupid and that Madison is a little obsessed.
Whoa...could it be? Am I on Aimee's side for once?

Yay, the whole gang is going to see "Curse of the Diamond"!
I wonder if that's the next Indiana Jones sequel.

Ew, I hate it when people have to make it a COUPLE THING.

Aimee doesn't want to go, so Madison might not have a movie "partner" if Hart doesn't ask her!

Lindsay gossips SO MUCH! She's always like, "Omg, guys, I heard a juicy rumor!"
So much for learning her lesson after The Wall incident.

Hm, it seems like some precious object has been stolen at school.

"What does 'precious object' mean? Sounds like a bunch of hooey."
Golly gee, Aimee, that sure sounds like a bunch of hooey, by George.

Lindsay and Fiona think the teachers should come to Maddie for help.
How can they say that with a straight face?

SO UNCALLED FOR!!!
Aimee: I just think you should watch your back.
Madison: You're just made because I might get noticed for this and I have a guy who likes me....
TAKE IT BACK! TAKE IT BACK NOW! Why is Madison such a loser in this book?

Of course, Madison assumes Ivy is the thief. Because she hates her.
Glad to know she's not blinded by prejudice or anything.

"I have nothing else to say to you," is either the lamest comeback ever...or the best.

Madison goes to the address on the slip of paper...and it's a PARTY.
So much for encriminating evidence.

She meets Mariah, Egg's sister, and Mariah's friend Penelope...
...and Penelope is one of the suspicious girls from the library!

Madison thinks it's weird that Penelope is nice.
What's wrong with being nice? Some people are just bubbly like that.

She sees the initials PKO on Penelope's bag.
OH NO! Could it be O for Olivetti?
Um, how about P for Penelope??? You don't know her last name; it probably starts with an O. STupid.

Uh oh. Madison and Aimee have a BIG FIGHT.
BalletGrl: u really expect me 2 believe that there's some school conspiracy and people r stealing bags it sounds dumb
MadFinn: not people stealing bags just 1 person P. and how can you say it's DUMB
BalletGrl: it seems dumb that's all sorry
MadFinn: WELL YOU ARE DUMB

Then, though she feels guilty, she chooses to watch a new episode of "Crime Time" rather than apologize to her best friend.
This relationship is destined to fail.

Madison thinks up an alias using all of her favorite girl names:
Charlotte Helena Isobel Marguerite Phoebe Antoinette
Yeah. That's a good one. Not suspicious at all.

Madison can't understand why Aimee is so moody. After all, Madison supports her ballet; why can't Aimee accept her detectiving???
What a stupid question. SHe can't be serious.

Hm. The stolen item turns out to be old sheet music.
WHY WOULD YOU TAKE THAT TO SCHOOL??? OF COURSE IT'S GOING TO GET STOLEN!

Uh oh. Fiona and Egg are having problems.

They had a big fight...but Fiona can't remember what it was about. Riiight.

Madison: You guys can't both bail out of going to the movies! That isn't fair.
Aimee: Isn't fair for who? Can't you make goo-goo eyes at Hart if you go by yourself?
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!

They start fighting again, and Fiona's like, "Um, um, LET'S MAKE COOKIES!"

Madison questions the staff members...and they're not allowed to reveal any information about the theft.

"Why so bummed out? Did Hart just dump you?"
Oh...hello, Ivy.

Seriously, Mr. Olivetti is dumb. If you bring something REALLY valuable to school, it's most likely going to get stolen.

Madison hears Ivy say, "I can't believe I got away with it!"
But she was only referring to getting away with wearing a semi-scandalous top.

Uh oh, Hart didn't call to tell Madison about the change in movie times. He must not want to be her "partner" for the movies after all.

You actually need a chaperone to get into a PG-13 movie if you're under 13?? Weird. Never happened to me.

Oooh, Madison gets to sit next to Hart in the car.

Hm, could Chet be interested in Aimee??

Madison decides to rethink her alias. Hm, how about making an acronym of her favorite names?
Charlotte Helena Isobel Marguerite Phoebe Antoinette - otherwise known as CHIMPA!

Then it hits her: FINNSTER is the perfect alias!!
Because no one will know it's really you, even though your LAST NAME is FINN.

Madison decides to confront Penelope about the black bag and ASK her if she stole the music.
Yeah, that'll go over well.

"Oh, my God, who are you? Nancy Drew?"
Might as well admit it, Madison.

IT'S NOT MR. OLIVETTI'S BAG! PENELOPE IS INNOCENT!
Can you say no duh??? PKO are, of course, HER initials, and it was just in the band room because she left it in there after band class!!!

Madison's like...*blink blink blink* "May I see inside your bag?"

I applaud Penelope for not slapping her.

Madison starts doodling and it somehow ALL GOES TERRIBLY WRONG.
Madison Demille
Maddie Demille
Mrs. Demille
Finnster Demille
Madison Jones
Mrs. Jones
Surprise!

Mr. Olivetti's music wasn't STOLEN...he LOST IT.
Of course. My dad does that EVERY DAY.
Heh, it would be so funny if Mr. Olivetti had stolen the music in the first place!

Uh oh. Even Hart is laughing at Madison's mistake.
Wow, did Penelope tell everyone? Harsh.

Ivy starts to make fun of her...but Hart stands up for her!! Yay, Hart to the rescue!

"She had it coming, Finnster."

It is sort of all Lindsay's fault.

Aww, I love Dan so much.
Just like when she was sick, Dan is the only one who e-mails her and makes her feel better.
"Madison realized what a good friend Dan was. He always had something supportive and nice to say."
Awwwww.

Argh. Aimee and Madison make up over the internet.
They fought over the internet, they made up over the internet...their relationship seems way fake.
Then again, I'm not one to talk.
And Aimee, for some inexplicable reason, admits that she's too obsessed with dance and that Madison was right all along.
Uhhh...not really.

Madison's Computer Tip:
Use a computer document to make lists and keep track of pals and enemies.

Okay. I'll remember that, Madison.
Ugh. I hate that one. It's always been one of my least favorite books. That and #19. #18 sucks, too, and I'll post that tomorrow. It's more Madison/Aimee drama.

There's just something about older men, or FTFO Madison Finn #16: Three's a Crowd

As school has been ending and Tie has been chewing up all my slippers, there's nothing I've felt like doing less than posting on this blog.
Wait. Does that sentence even work?
Oh well. I've just been busy. I think I read this book sometime in the beginning of May, too. I probably won't remember what the page markers even mean.

Plot: Madison feels terrible. She has the flu and is being forced to stay home for close to a week!! Not that she cares; who likes school?
She starts to go a little stir-crazy, however, when her busy mom calls Gramma Helen over from Chicago to take care of Madison, and Gramma Helen is very old-fashioned. Madison isn't even allowed to go on her laptop!!
The final straw is when Madison notices a cute guy who lives across the street. Whaaat??? How could she have not noticed him before??? His name is Josh, he plays hockey, and communicates with Madison via bedroom window (he writes notes for her to see, like, "How R U?").
When Madison finally gets back to school, she is in LUV. She follows Josh around, has lots of wonderfuly intellectual conversations with him, and ends up blowing off Hart several times. Uh oh.
One day, while at Freeze Palace with her dad, Madison runs into Josh...and his GIRLFRIEND!!! :O
She is heartbroken, of course.
Then her friends cheer her up and Madison realizes they never had a chance anyway.
Then she goes off and hangs with Hart.

More notes:
Today's Mental Floss:
If an international airliner crashed exactly on the U.S.-Mexican border, where would authorities be required to bury the survivors!!
When I first got this book, I tried to figure this out for 10 minutes and failed.

They have a big English assignment on any topic of their choosing - except for extreme sports, serial killers, video games, or biographies of current celebrities, rap stars, or sports stars.
There goes my idea.

Weird. Madison and Fiona get sick at the SAME TIME.

Egg and Fiona are so weird and couple-y. It would be super awkward to hang out with them.

Back to the mental floss: Why would anyone bury survivors??? HAHAHAHA! Dang. I wish I'd guessed that.

"Get thyselves to the nurse's office, young ladies, before we all catch your bugs, okay?"
Why is Mr. Gibbons trying to sound like Shakespeare?

Nurse Shim still creeps me out.

Whoa, they all have fevers of 102.

Aimee's sick, too!! Weeeird.

AAAAGH. I hate that you can't leave school when you're sick without parental consent, even if you live 2 minutes away. I couldn't get ahold of either parent for a LONG TIME when I got sick and they almost made me stay and suffer at school. Raaaah.
But Madison finally called her dad, like I did, so she was able to go home.

OMG!!! Madison sneezes on Hart's sweater, and I mean SNEEZES. There's a HUGE loogie on his shirt.

But Hart seems to be okay with it?

Ewww, tofu broth!!?? Who would want to drink that when they're sick? Wouldn't it just make them sicker?
My brother started eating tofu recently, and he says it tastes like a diaper, but he loves it.
Possibly because he pours Johnny's Tenderizing Seasoning Salt all over it before he eats it.

Mom: You know what? You look pale.
Madison: But I always look pale, don't I?
We were talking about that in jazz band. Paul felt the need to mention that I was the second-whitest kid in school, after him. Thanks, Paul.

Psych, Madison has bronchitis.

And her friends just have colds. How lame is that?

Madison's mom and dad always pick fights. Not awkward, or anything.
But Jeff comes over with chicken, and Fran offers him wine when she knows he doesn't drink?

"Well, I'll leave you to your chicken."
That sounds so weird, but fun to say.

Sick people just want TLC.

"It was a boy. He had red hair, or at least it appeared red under the street lamp. He wore an old corduroy jacket, ripped jeans, and lumberjack boots. The big dog sniffed madly at a hydrant."
Lol. In 7th grade there was a boy in my neighborhood with dachsunds, and I was like, "Omg, boyz!!" But he's shorter than me, now, and I don't know what happened to his dogs.

Yay!! If my grandma came over to take care of me when I was sick, I'd be so excited.
Only my grandma lives in Washington, so I see her all the time.
If Grandma Nina came over, it'd be pretty cool, though. I haven't seen her in 2 years.

Awww, Dan e-mails her. I love that boy.
Someone told me ur sick. No way b/c I am @ the clinic $ there are 5 lizards here right now and they are sick 2!!! I had 2 tell u b/c u always laff @ stuff like that.
He names the lizards Wizzy, Fizzy, Dizzy, Tizzy, and Lizzy.
-_-

Then Egg offers to pick up her and Fiona's homework.
At the end of the e-mail, he grudgingly offers to pick up Aimee's, too. Lol.

Hey, you can like 2 guys at the same time. Nothing wrong with that.

Strange. Gramma Helen got a fortune cookie that said she would be traveling to faraway places, and here she is in New York!
Connor got one that said, "You like Chinese Food."

Lol, Gramma's like, "You lay in bed, and I'll run a eucalyptus bubble bath and make some saltwater gurgle while the cold-air vaporizer charges," and Madison's like, "Whatever, Gramma, can we just play cards?"

The girls always talk about how mean Poison Ivy is, but Lindsay sends them this e-mail that's practically 8 pages of ridiculing her outfit.
I guess she never really got over the whole "Fat Camp Loser" thing.

:O HART BLEW OFF POISON IVY!!
They were supposed to work on the English project together, but he stood her up and then pretended not to know what she was talking about.
Okay, even if it is Poison Ivy, that's really mean. Hart's a jerk.

Hart might like another girl besides Ivy...but that could be anyone.
Come on, Madison, it's so you.

Chicken lemon orzo soup???
I'd rather have orange juice and crackers.

Bigwheels is all, "Omg, I found this website where you can send free e-cards!!"
Aren't there millions of those sites around??? They're not exactly a new invention, Bigwheels.

Madison tells Bigwheels about the new boy:
"I had this dream last night that he was spying on me and wanted to meet me."
Wow. That would've creeped me out.

Agh, I love optical illusions, which is what Madison, Aimee, Fiona, and Lindsay pick for their English project.

I remember reading "The Outsiders"!
"Stay gold, Ponyboy."

Egg comes over with Madison's homework, and Gramma Helen FREAKS OUT. "Did I meet this boy the last time I visited? Why are boys calling on you when you're sick in bed?"
She sounds like my dad. Kevin, Alexis, and I bought ice cream at 7/11 and my dad was like, "Who's he?? Is he your friend? Is he in band? Well, of course he's in band. Oh, hi Alexis."

WHOA. Egg apparently knows EVERYTHING about Madison's hot neighbor! His name's Josh, he's in 9th grade (ooooh, an older boy! Lol), he plays hockey, and is friends with Drew.
Then Egg suddenly gets defensive and is like, "What about Hart, Maddie?"

ROFL! "I thought you dug Hart."
Can you dig it? Yes, I can. I've been waiting such a long time for Saturday.
Sorry. Chicago moment.

Oooooh. Egg crushes all of Maddie's hopes and dreams!
Madison: Does Hart know...that I like him?
Egg: I think so. But so what? He doesn't care.
:O WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT???
Madison: He doesn't care?
Egg: I don't know what he thinks. We don't really talk about it.
EGG! THAT'S DIFFERENT THAN NOT CARING!!

What is it about older guys that make girls giggle incessantly???
Possibly because all the guys our own age aren't as hot??

Bigwheels sends this dumb list of things to do when you're sick. It's supposed to be hilarious.

Gramma's like, "A laptop? How fascinating. Show me how this titillating contraption works! I want to send an e-mail to Mabel!"

Frannie thinks work is more important than her daughter. How lame is that?

Whatever happened to Blossom's puppies? I want one.

Lindsay stalks Josh for a day and finds out the following information:
His full name is Josh Turner.
He's in 9th grade.
He plays hockey.
He also plays the accordion AND the tuba????
He's single.

Madison has cute pajama pants. I'm sort of jealous.
Then again, I have boxers!! :P

AAAAGH!! She spies Josh through her window.

He says "Hi There" and then goes to bed when Madison can't think up a fitting reply.

The secret is revealed:
Maybe I'll see him in the hallway and he'll ask me to have lunch with him at his table in the cafeteria. That would just burn Poison Ivy if I got to sit with the ninth graders at lunch!!
:P The girls at my school who are dating juniors are so annoying, like they're so much better than the rest of us. But, then again, it would be cool to be like, "Hehehe, your boyriend is 5'6". My boyfriend can drive...AND SHAVE!"

Ew. It's so nasty when you don't shower or change clothes when you're sick.

OMG, HART WAS ASKING ABOUT MADISON AT SCHOOL.
He asked Dan, which is sort of cold.
"I'm worried about the girl we both like, Dan. Do you know anything about her? Is she feeling okay?"

Hart is SUCH A JERK to have led Poison Ivy on this whole time. He thinks she's annoying and has an attitude and wishes she would just go away.
WHY DIDN'T YOU THINK THAT BEFORE??? She's shown her true colors so many times. Why do you have to be so mean NOW?

Uh oh. Would having a ninth-grader boyfriend be cooler than having HART as a boyfriend?
Maddie, say it isn't so!!

Whoas. If my kid was sick, I wouldn't go out of town until they were better.
Geez, Frannie.

Madison "talks" (via window) to Josh again, but he gets bored and turns off his lamp. BAD SIGN.

Madison wishes that Josh Turner would fall madly in love with her.
Awww.
We were watching Pam Stenzel, and she was talking about how older boys are creepy and can't get anyone to date them, so younger girls shouldn't, either.
When you put it that way, it's kind of true.

Frannie is dumping her only kid with Gramma Helen for a week, and when Madison says she wants a little time away from her overly nice old-fashioned Gramma, Fran's all, "You should be grateful, bla bla bla."
Way to justify leaving your sick kid at home. She's probably just leaving to get away from Helen, anyways. Quit being a hypocrite, Fran.

A boy comes to visit...and it's Egg. Again.

Surprise!! Hart and Drew are with him.

Wait...Lindsay made fun of Ivy's brown sweater near the beginning of the book...now Hart's wearing one.
:O!
Was Ivy wearing Hart's sweater??? So much for not liking her.
Or maybe...WHOA! This is like a soap opera!!!
And Hart is still a jerk.

Hart gives her flowers.
Madison's like, "Omg! *swoon*"
But it turns out they were from her dad and were sitting on the front porch.
Ooooooh.

Egg is so mean!
Madison: The flowers are from my dad.
Egg: Duh. Who else would send you flowers?

Surprise! Josh comes over. Madison spazzes out.

Hart tries to engage Madison in conversation, but she's like, "Uh-huh, yeah. So, Josh...."

Then she asks him [Hart] all these questions about Josh. Way to be heartless, Maddie.

Surprise! Madison's hair is a mess and her T-shirt is stained. Mwahaha. Murphy's law.

Gramma turns out to be a Betty. Who dated OLDER BOYS!!
Fran apparently dated every boy in Far Hills.

OMG, GRAMMA DATED SOMEONE FOUR AND A HALF YEARS OLDER THAN HER!! AT 16!!!
That's like me dating my brother. Only we're not related, but it's still semi-illegal, were we to have sex, but we wouldn't, but people would assume he's a pervert anyway, which he probably IS.

Mmm, this older gentlemen was named Charlie Francis. Helen liked the way he wore his ties. Euphemism for something else?

He asked her out when he was 20 and she was SIXTEEN!!!!

They also talk about Mackie, the butcher's son, and Gabriel, a boy in the church choir.
Whoas. They sound dreamy.

Madison thinks she might not like Hart as much!!

Her friends are like, "You can't forget Hart!! Btw, my brother knows Josh, want me to hook you up?"

Gramma wants Madison to go to bed at 8:30.
What? She's not 6!

Now Bigwheels is sick.

She wants to know what happened to Hart, too.
"What had happened to Hart? And what was Madison going to do about her change of heart?"

Mr. Danehy suggests Madison catch up on her science homework with the help of HART JONES.
Coincidence? Or not?

But she forgets about that when Josh comes over and talks to her!!!

Josh: Well...I have class.
Madison: See you through the window!!
Oh, Madison. You have no idea how NERDY that sounded.

Argh!!!! Hart's like, "Madison, can we talk?" and he leaves an empty seat next to him at lunch and EVERYTHING, and Madison's just like, "Whatever."
AAAAARGH!

Lindsay's like, "Let's send Fiona and Aimee an e-mail full of gossip!! Let's tell them about Josh! That's juicy!"
Excuse me, but how??? He's just a cute guy who talked to Madison once, and only to be polite.

M. C. Escher!!

"Tuesday afternoon, after turning in to Blueberry Steet on the walk home from school, Madison spotted Josh. He was way ahead of her, but Madison didn't think. She just started running.
'Hello!' Madison gasped when she caught up to him.
Josh whirled around. 'Whoa. Hello, yourself. I didn't hear you.'
Madison tried to keep from panting, but her mouth was dry from running so fast. She wiped her forehead and tried to look cool.
'Are you okay?' Josh asked. 'You're purple.'
'Oh, I have asthma,' Madison said. It was a strange lie, but it sounded a lot better than, 'Oh, I was just running to catch up to you.'"
OMG!!!! That's so hilarious!! "Oh, I have asthma!"

Josh has a pet poodle named Cuddles. Um...

Gramma Helen is confusing. First, she's like, "Fran, don't ditch your kid!" Then she's like, "Madison, you must understand your mom has a lot on her plate."

They watch Fran's new documentary, which is about AIDs. Gramma even starts crying.

Group hug!

Madison goes out to talk to Josh, and misinterprets all of his actions as, "He thinks I'm cute. He's speechless because I'm so beautiful."

BATTING YOUR EYES DOESN'T WORK.

Josh totally ditches her and is like, "Um, that's nice, I have to help my dad."
I REALLY don't think he likes you, Maddie.

Oh no!! She tries to window-chat with him, and he just goes to bed without answering.
Definitely a bad sign.

Madison tries to make pancakes. "I can't do this!!"
Sorry. Just struck me as funny.

OH NO!!! Hart tries to talk to Maddie and she's like, "Uh-huh. Uh-huh. What are you talking about?"
AAAGH!!1 MADISON FINN!!! DID YOU EVER LEARN SOCIAL SKILLS??

Lindsay: He is cute. I think you would make a nice couple.
Madison: Jeez, Lindsay! Why don't you just announce it over the loudspeaker?
Lol!!

Whatever. Aimee berates Maddie for liking someone who is "practically in high school."
You like someone who is "practically in Mensa", so shut up.

Madison reads an article entitled, "Two's Company, but three's a crowd: How do you choose when you like two?"
But she never gets to finish it, so she still can't decide.

"I think maybe it's a good idea if you're going out with that older guy. Guys our age can be such dorks."
Gusy in GENERAL can be dorks.

Madison sees Josh at Freeze Palace.
"Madison wanted to turn three shades of purple.
I'm with my dad.
It sounded so seventh grade."

Whoa, Madison and Josh have the same favorite ice cream flavor!

Too bad Josh has a girlfriend! Surprise! Her name is Remy...and he had his hand on THE SMALL OF HER BACK. You know what that means.

Madison runs out of the shop and cries the whole way home.

Bigwheels is going out with Reggie again AND her cat is having kittens.
Life is so unfair.

It doesn't seem like such a big deal, but Madison is totally heartbroken. It's really sad.
And she totally saw it coming, anyway.

Aimee is such a horrible friend.
"So that's it? That's the end of Josh? I was getting excited about the prospect of your dating some ninth grader. And then maybe you'd introduce me to some other ninth grader..."
How shallow.
Madison totally blew the Josh thing out of proportion.

HART CALLS!
Madison: What are you guys doing for your Web page project?
Hart: The Titanic.
Madison: That's deep.
Hart: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *more hysterical laughter*

Hart then proceeds to tell her how annoying Ivy is and how she's failing science.
JEEEEEERK.

OMG! He asks her out! Say no! Say yes!
She says yes.
Now they're going to the movies...as a couple...on Saturday!!!

Hart was worth the wait.
Whatever that means.

Madison's Computer Tip:
Use e-mail to keep in touch with friends and family when you're stuck at home.

Wise words.
I'm definitely DONE with the computer for now, so I'm going to chillax!!! (Nickolodeon word!) and read a while. Maybe I'll post on Monday.

Way to give away the end, or FTFO Madison Finn #15: Off the Wall

Don't you hate it when the library has every book in a series...
...except the one you need???
I'm trying to find a stupid picture of this book, and my library site, of course, doesn't have this one.
You know what sucks? I ordered a BUNCH of Madison Finns that I've never read, and I'm not going to be able to read them, because I'm trying to do this in series order!!! Aaargh!



Plot: Something is very, very wrong in Far Hills. Madison's favorite teacher, Mrs. Wing, has gone missing!!! She and her husband have just up and left, without leaving a note or anything!
Madison is worrieder than worried.
If that wasn't enough, Aimee's dog Blossom is about to have puppies...with another bassett hound! See, Madison and Aimee made a pact in fourth grade that had something to do with Phin and Blossom having puppies together. It appears Aimee has broken the pact!!
To get her mind off things, Madison checks out a web Egg reccomended to her called "The Wall". The Wall is full of juicy gossip, AKA heaven for 7th grade girls.
Oh no! Someone starts posting nasty things about Madison's friends...and it looks like Madison is to blame! Will Fiona, Aimee, and Lindsay ever talk to her again?
After a little bit of digging, Madison finds out the culprit is none other than Ivy herself (saw it coming).
To get back at the fiend, she writes a very nasty message about Ivy and posts it on The Wall.
Afterwards, she is racked with guilt and tells her parents everything.
They help her take down the message...and then ground her and take away her computer for a month.
OUCH.
Fiona, Aimee, and Lindsay apologize to Madison for not believing her, and everything is rosy once more.
Oh yeah, Madison forgets about the puppies, and Mrs. Wing, it turns out, left to adopt a baby!! Yay!! Sunshine and flowers!!

More notes:
Why are school computers always so slow?

Lance has a crush on Madison, but she is repulsed by his nose-picking and cheerful, "Howdy"s.

The new computer substitute is cool, lol.
"Holy cow! It took me a century to find you cats."

Mrs. Wing leaves Madison in charge...because she's the class expert.
How embarrassingly flattering.

Egg: Get out of here. I would whomp you.
"Whomp" you?? Wth?? Who says that?

Madison and Aimee "enjoy" watching Fiona and Chet's fights.
Enjoy??? What's to enjoy? Those are so awkward!

There is no way boys gossip more than girls.
But they do gossip quite a bit.

Egg sings The Wall's praises, because there aren't any moderators.
RED FLAG! RED FLAG!

There are a buttload of rules that nobody's going to follow WITHOUT MODERATORS.

Aimee IMs Maddie to tell her about the puppies.
But when they get to the part about there being a dad OTHER than Phin, Madison just signs off.
That's always nice.

Madison is such a drama queen! "My best friend has betrayed me."
They're just puppies! And it's not like you shook on the whole puppy plan.
Yeah, the whole "puppy plan" consisted of a bunch of jokes on how ugly Blossom and Phin's puppies would be.

SHE EVEN ADMITS IT! "It was like a dream of mine. I know we didn't make a formal pact or anything, but isn't a friend's word supposed to count for something?"

Dude, I looked these kinds of puppies up online, and they're adorable!!! Just go online and look up "Bassugg puppies".

Dan: Maddie! I'm so glad you're here. I could use your help big-time.
Madison: I'm glad you're here, too. It's been a bad day. I need cheering up.
Dan: Try cleaning up dog poop and cat poop. That'll cheer you up real fast.
Oh, Dan, you charmer you.

THe conversation takes an awkward turn when Madison mentions "those naked-looking cats".
Dan: *giggle* Naked?
Madison: *blush of death* So, um, about my problems....

Dan thinks Madison should chill out and not be so mad at Aimee.
He also thinks Dr. Wing and Mrs. Wing ran away together, but hey.

Madison's Dad wants to go out to dinner with Stephanie's nephew Kirk.
Madison thinks Kirk will probably be a dork.
And, of course, he's no Hart Jones.

Madison's Excuses for not dining with Kirk:
I have the walk the dog.
I have to wash my hair.
I have to save the world from an alien attack.
This probably spoils everything, but Kirk, in later books, turns out to be a way cute Kountry Gentleman.
Poor, poor Madison.

Yay, "Number the Stars"! That's one of my favorite books!!

Ivy is so evil!!
Ivy: I don't see what the big deal is. I mean, I didn't really fail the test. I only got a D, you know. Mr. Danehy is such a pain.
Joan: Science is so dumb anyway.
Ivy: And if that stupid twit Madison had just sat differently, I could have cheated off her paper, anyhow. She's such a goody-goody.
Joan: You'll pass science.
Ivy: Who really cares? I can always copy Madison's lab notes anyway. I do it all the time when she isn't looking.

Mrs. Wing adopted a baby...and Madison was the last one to know.
Been there, done that.
Meaning I've been the last to know. No, I haven't adopted a baby recently. The last baby I met yelled, "Poop," at me and threatened to beat me up if I spoke again.

Someone who goes to FHJH writes a post about Mrs. Wing on the wall. Maddie is like, "Nooo, everyone knew before me!!"
Someone replies to the post: So what, who cares?
Yeah, really, who cares? My teachers get pregnant all the time.

Aimee and Fiona are so stupid!!! They both post on a board called "Hotties" using their REAL SCREENNAMES!!! Now everyone will know it's them!
Posted by: BalletGrl
Date: 5 Nov
Message: actually I like this guy Ben but no one really knows so shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I should not have written that
Why would you write it if you didn't want anyone to know???
Posted by: Wetwinz
Date: 5 Nov
Message: of course someone who has been flirting w/me a lot wink wink can u guess who? *G*

Aimee sees the humor in the puppy situation.
Aimee: Maddie! I told you that about the puppies when we were in, like, fourth grade! And besides, my mom and dad are the ones who decide who Blossom will have puppies with, not me. And they want basset hounds, not some mix of pug and...Maddie, can you imagine what Blossom and Phin's babies would really look like?
Uh, yeah...they would be SOOO CUTE!

Fiona: By the way, I heard some big news.
Madison: Yeah, yeah, big news, I know. Mrs. Wing had a baby.
Fiona: Huh? What are you talking about? A baby? She did?
Madison: Wait. You didn't know?
Fiona: MRS. WING HAD A BABY? Oh, wow! This is, like, HUGE news. My news is so little and puny compared to yours. I just found out that the soccer team is moving their practice space. Wow! How did you find about Mrs. Wing?
So it turns out Madison isn't the last one to know, but come on, Fiona!! The soccer team is moving their practice space??? WHAT KIND OF NEWS IS THAT???

Oooh, lucky. Madison's school has free period instead of study hall.

Someone posts a REALLY mean message about Lindsay!!
Posted by: LoVeBuG
Date: Nov 6
Message: there is ms. fatty in my class and she is SOOOO fat that she cant even go 2 regular camp LOL she has to go to FAT CAMP and she walks around with a dumb black haircut & purple backpack that looks like she should be in the first grade LOSER!!! I feel bad 4 her yah right NOT FHJH would be better w/o her :)
That's pretty mean, but I thought Lindsay had light brown hair. She even has some on the cover.

Lindsay now wants all of her friends to stop going on the site.
It may be disloyal, but...
...I'd probably keep going on The Wall if I were Madison.
Which she does.

Lindsay: I bet it was the guys. I know they make fun of me because I'm overweight. I heard them once.
Madison: You did?
Lindsay: Yeah. I heard Hart and Chet talking once about who was the prettiest in our class.
Madison: Hart and Chet?
Fiona: What did they say, exactly? My brother is such a geek. Don't listen to him!
Lindsay: I don't remember everyone they were talking about, but I do know they said Ivy was the hottest girl and that some other girls were okay but some were too fat, like me and Beth Sanders.
[!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS SO MEAN!!! Proof that guys suck.]
Fiona: Well, Lindsay. Beth Sanders is fat. She's huge. She takes up two seats at lunch. You're not fat like that.
[I lied, girls suck, too. ESPECIALLY FIONA.]
Madison: That's not the point, guys.
Thank you, Madison.

Lol.
"Madison knew the truth. They would all huff and puff and complain about how terrible it was to post gossip. And then they'd each go home that very night and check the next postings on the gossip page - just in case something interesting came up."

Some people just suck at math. Video games have nothing to do with that.

Madison's Dad reads the Lindsay post outloud, and it sounds kind of funny when he says it.
"What does that text say? 'Fat camp'? 'Looks like she should be in the first grade LOSER'? What is this? This isn't an e-mail from one of your friends, is it?"

Dad thinks girls are meaner than boys.
So true.

Fiona has big news!!!
Fiona: Okay, so he finally, really asked me.
Madison: Asked you? What? Who?"
Fiona: Egg! He asked me out. For real.
Madison: He asked you out? He said those exact words.
Fiona: He wants to go to the movies next week. Can you believe it? I know we're sort of a 'couple', but this really makes a difference
AARGH, NO!! You're not officially a "couple" until he asks you out.
Otherwise, he's just playing you.
I can't believe it's been this long and he JUST NOW asked her out.
Egg's a playa....

Whoa, Madison stands up to Ivy in this one! And it's really funny!
Madison: You obviously don't know the meaning of the word homework, Ivy. It means you actually have to do work, at home.
Ivy: Well, YOU obviously don't understand what it means to be partners, Madison. It means that occasionally you show me your notes. I would do the exact same for you.
Madison: Yeah. If you ever took notes.
Ivy: Excuse me?
Madison: Look, Ivy, I have to go. Why don't you just ask Mr. Danehy for help?
PWNED!!

Why is Fiona so overdramatic??
Fiona: Maddie, I can't believe you!
Madison: What happened?
Fiona: You promised you wouldn't tell!!
Madison: Fiona...
Fiona: I thought you were my friend. How could you?
Madison: Please tell me what's wrong.
Fiona: Why don't you read The Wall? You'll see what I'm talking about, Maddie. You'll see.

Posted by: MF13
Date: 8 Nov
Message: some secrets r way 2 hard 2 keep even about my friends F.W. sez its all god but she and W.D. probably want to hook up @ the movies next week I know it what a j-o-k-e they are so NOT innocent :)
:O Okay, "Madison" basically called Fiona a slut, but Fiona seems more mad that "Madison" told her secret.
Yeah, you should keep your friends' secrets, but what's secret about being asked out?? Wouldn't you be happy? Wouldn't you WANT to share the news with everyone? I mean, you're already "a couple", right???
So, even though I know Madison didn't write this, she shouldn't have told the secret, but WHY WAS IT A SECRET IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Um, duh. Egg told everyone. Big surprise.

Madison thinks it might be Chet, then feels bad and insists they shouldn't do anything.
Why would Chet do that...AND use Madison's scrnnme? Confused.

Madison wants to know if Dan ever made up a fake screenname for himself.
Who hasn't?? No offense, Maddie, but MadFinn kind of sucks.

Aimee has a secret, too! She might get a lead in the next ballet production!
$100 it'll be on The Wall tomorrow.

Madison's gym shorts are sort of tight and Ivy makes fun of them.
I thought tight things were in?? Ivy's just jealous.

Hehehe, Madison gets paired up with Ivy for volleyball.
Ivy: I despise volleyball.
That makes two of us.
Madison: You just despise everything and everyone.
Heheheheheh.

Madison finds a bulletin about Aimee on the wall...supposedly posted by herself. Instead of calling Aimee about it, she retreats to her files to be emo???
Whatever. Aimee will be calling to yell at you in like 2 minutes anyway.

Aimee and Madison have a fight. Aimee drags up stuff from the past, about all the times Madison has lied (she's only lied once). Aimee sort of sucks.

Lol.
As Aimee's leaving, she turns around and screams, "THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!"

Egg thinks Fiona is stupid for being mad at Madison.
Go Egg!

Ivy gets "gravity" and "relativity" mixed up.
.....

Heh. Ivy and Madison have to do a science project together...and Madison makes Ivy do all the work. Payback.

Ivy: What did you find in the back?
Madison: No much. We should do more research upstairs in the media center, thought. Can you go look after school?
Ivy: Me? Why don't you go look after school.
Madison: I have an after-school conflict today.
Ivy: Well, I have a conflict, too. Like, I don't do science work after school. That's my conflict.
Madison: Maybe we should each write our own paper. I can ask Mr. Danehy if we can split-
Ivy: NO! Okay, I'll look in the media center. Don't throw a hissy about it. Gosh, you always overreact. What a drama queen.
GO MADISON!!

Mr. Danehy gives Ivy an F!!
Today is not Ivy's day.

Ugh, I hate it when people read over my shoulder!!!
Lance is a creepy kid.

Mrs. Wing brings her baby Phoebe to school.

Lance: My cousin had a big, fatso baby. He was so huge, he looked like he was stuffed.
Thanks, Lance.

Boys like babies, too.

It seems like Bigwheels is always either sick or grounded.
"SORRY I wasn't on my computer, but I was SICK and GROUNDED at the SAME TIME."

"Friends are forever, boys are whatever!"
What if all your friends are boys??

Madison wants revenge.
Noooo, don't do it, Madison! Revenge is never the answer!!

Madison writes a post about Ivy.
Posted by: MF13
Date: 11 Nov
Message: More big newz @ FHJH this time its I.D. in trouble wow is she ever. The WITCH is failing science. Yeah I.D. begged Mr. D. to pass her but he said no way so now the school is planning to EXPEL her...it is soooo bad Not only that but I heard that NO other school in the district wants to accept her b/c she has no real friends n e way LOL in fact there r no guys who will even look @ her b/c she dresses

That's as far as she gets before she accidentally publishes it.
Okay, who would even believe that? The part about having no friends and being a slut is pretty mean, but she wouldn't get EXPELLED for failing science.
Duh. Summer school.

Madison has become a pathological liar.

The bulletin won't be removed for 24 hours.
You sort of deserve it, Madison.
Revenge is never the answer.

"Now...Ivy will probably read what I posted and...she'll hate me forever and..."
"Wait just a minute, Maddie. I thought you and Ivy weren't friends anymore anyway."
Yeah!! What do you care what she thinks??
Shouldn't you be more worried about hurting her feelings than how she'll think of you? Because I'm pretty sure she already hates you.

Madison: Why are parents always right? And why am I always wrong?
Trust me, honey. Parents are NOT always right.

Lol, her dad is so delightfully evil.
"You're kidding! Oh, Maddie, you are most definitely going to tell your mother everything, from the beinning. We had a deal."
That's like on "Dan in Real Life".
"So Marty can stay?"
"*hysterical laughter* Marty can STAY???"

Madison can never go on The Wall again.
She is officially Off the Wall (that's where the title comes in).
Wait, MF13 is the one who's not allowed on the wall.
Madison could just create a new screename and go on whenever she wanted.

WtH???????
Lindsay, Aimee, and Fiona came over to apologize.
Why the sudden epiphany??
And why is Lindsay apologizing, too???
Madison had nothing to do with her Fat Camp thing!!! Lindsay probably didn't even know about the whole fight until now.
WHAT IS SHE DOING THERE??

It turns out Ivy told Hart she was MF13, and Hart told Chet who told Fiona.

Boys aren't the only shallow ones.
Such as girl on basketball team??
"Lauren, you'd be really pretty if you did this to your hair."
Um...thanks.

NICE!!! Madison's mom took away her laptop and is keeping it under lock and key in her desk drawer!!! Madison can only use it for one hour each day to check her e-mail!!
Finally! Good parenting!

Madison is super mean to Lance...even if he is a nerd.
Madison: I'm outta here.
Lance: But I just got here.
Madison: So? See you in class tomorrow.
Duh, Lance, you're the reason she's leaving.

Ivy: I'm never going to forget, you know.
Madison: Elephants never forget.
Ivy: Who are you calling.... OOOOOH! You think you're sooooo smart, don't you?
Madison just smiles and walks away.
The one time turning the other cheek actually WORKED.

Bigwheels is grounded because she told some kids a scary story.
Whatever. I bet it was the one about the finger.

Ew, I hate youngest children.

Madison's Computer Tip:
Beware of online gossip.

Truer words were never spoken.
I just read the last 2 Pony Pals books, and they were surprisingly enjoyable and kind of sad. Lulu's dad SUCKS; he's probably the worst father ever. So does Mrs. Crandal. It's like good parents don't EXIST in Wiggins. But that's all tomorrow; I have stuff to do.

Blubbery preteens always float, or FTFO Madison Finn #13: Sink or Swim

It's Madison's second summer in the series and she's STILL in 7th grade. The magic continues.



Plot: All of Madison's friends have plans for summer, but Madison doesn't have anything to do. Isn't that the point of summer, however? Not having ANY PLANS. Isn't RELAXING supposed to be your plan? Whatever.
Madison, desperate for something to keep herself occupied, gets a job as a mother's helper. She's now in charge of Eliot, an adorable 2-and-a-half year old boy, and his infant sister Becka. However, Eliot throws tantrums frequently, and Madison, who is completely passive, has trouble getting him to behave.
Aaagh, that's not the worst part. Eliot's mom is a TOTAL DITZ and spends all of her time with Becka, and then doesn't realize her absentee behavior is the root of Eliot's frustrations. She blames either Madison or Becka, the adorable baby.
Slut.
Madison's boss also sucks because whenever they go to the pool and Madison tries to hang out with her friends, Mrs. Reed is all, "Maddie, time to leave!" And because Madison has no spine, she silently fumes, but is unable to stand up for yourself.
On Pool Day, Eliot bonds with Madison and wins a blue ribbon. Finally they are becoming friends! But Madison is unable to enjoy the rest of pool day because right after the winning of the ribbon, Mrs. Reed suggests they leave.
Megaslut.
Nearing the end of the book, Madison is convinced for some reason that Eliot hates her (he doesn't) and that she's the worst mother's helper ever (she sort of is, but never mind).
However, Eliot proves otherwise; he shows Madison his secret closet of stuffed animals and then presents her with his treasured blue Pool Day ribbon. Awwwww.
However, Mrs. Reed's mothering issues are never addressed and she is content to leave Becka with the blame of Eliot's behavior issues.
I hate her. But Madison doesn't care, so I guess that's okay.

More notes:
Aimee, the environmentally concious ditz, squeezes in an important message about global warming. Propaganda in teen literature... *shakes head*

Ooh, Fiona has read "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" FOUR TIMES!!

Aw, Fiona and Egg are going out. Kind of sickening.

Egg, Drew, and Hart are junior lifeguards at the pool...another reason Madison wants to spend time there.

7th grade dialogue.
Aimee: Gee, I wonder if Ben Buckley will be at the pool, too.
Madison: Ben Buckley? What made you think of him?
Aimee: I don't know - um - um... What was I talking about?
Madison: Are you in like with Ben or what? I can't believe it.
Aimee: I am NOT in like with Ben. I was just...
Fiona: Ha-ha-HA! So I'm not the only one with a terminal crush?

Madison isn't exactly stealthy about her secret crush on Hart.

Lucky. Bigwheels is at horse camp IN THE MOUNTAINS. Sounds like Miracle Ranch. Jealous.

Madison is shocked that it rained when there was a 50% chance of rain. Sounds like Washington weather.

ROFL!!
"If everything was meeting at the cafe, Madison would be seeing Hart and the other boys. She needed an outfit that would say 'cute friend with possibilities'."

Aimee's helping her dad out at his cybercafe, but she's not getting paid?

Fiona's participating in a book-a-thon where the prize is TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS! The prize at MY library was a $25 gift certificate to Barnes & Nobles...from a DRAWING!!! SO LAME. I entered like 30 tickets and I didn't win!

"Madison wondered what it would be like to practice mouth-to-mouth on a real person - like Hart. Was it like real kissing?"
Trust me, it's not...though I don't have any real experience to back up that statement. But I've done mouth-to-mouth on a rubber person.
That sounded dirty.

Drew: Yeah, we're learning how to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and all that. The American Red Cross teaches it. We practice on rubber people. Started today. It's funny.
Egg: Nah. It's dumb.
Hart: It saves lives.
Egg: Are you kidding me?
Hart: Hey, Egg, we have the most important job at the pool.
Egg: Come on! We're junior lifeguards. We're not actually saving anyone. This isn't Baywatch, for Pete's sake.
Fiona: You shouldn't really joke about saving lives!!!
Way to be pyscho, Fiona. Egg totally freaks out and apologizes, though.

"'Aren't you volunteering at the animal clinic? You always do that. You and Dan.'
Madison rolled her eyes. She was friends with Dan, but the way Egg said that it sounded lik she was more than friends."
You guys MIGHT have been MORE than friends if you hadn't turned Dan down, Madison.
Although Dan took it better than Drew. Notice how Drew has totally stopped stalking Maddie? I kind of miss it.

Fiona tries to convince Madison to go out for the mother's helper job:
"Baby-sitting can be hard - but it can also be a lot of fun. Oh, it'll be so easy. You'll get paid for going to the pool. And she has cats! What's better than that?"
Yeah, Madison, she has cats!!

: I baby-sit sometimes for my cousin when his mom goes to the supermarket and stuff.
: is it hard?
: haven't u ever read The Babysitters Club?
LOL!!! I know what some people would have to say about that.

It's sort of obvious that Madison has absolutely NO experience with little kids.
Elliot: Pee-pee.
Madison: Um...is that some kind of game?

Heh. Eliot has two cats named Peanut Butter and Jelly.

Dang, Madison's making $125 a week. And she's only 12!!! I've never seen that much money in my life.

Hm, what type of bathing suit would a baby-sitter wear?
Just ask Stacey McGill. She's soooo sophisticated.

Hahaha. Some of the "themed" youth nights at the pool are Italian night, Halloween night, Magic Show (laaame), and South of the Border night (ROFL, SEXUAL IMAGERY!).

Aimee thinks Hart and Ivy are going out. :O SAY IT ISN'T SO!

"Yeah, and Maddie could go with Dan or Drew and we could triple-date!"
Um, that's probably not going to happen anytime soon...not after the VALENTINE'S DAY INCIDENT!!

Aimee's such a spaz. "OH, MY GOODNESS! He's here."

Ben Buckley walks by...AND TOTALLY IGNORES HER. Heh.

Lol. Eliot starts screaming, "POOOOOOOOP!" at the top of his lungs.

Awww, Eliot is sooo cute.

Oh no, he's escaped!
"'STOP THAT KID!' Madison yelled. She nearly landed flat on her face as she jumped out of the pool after him."
Noyce.

Hart saves the day...and kind of creeps me out in the process.
Hart: I don't think so! *picks up Eliot* This little guy's fast.
Eliot: Fast! FAST!
Hart: So you want the tickle monster, huh? Well, that's what you'll get, then.

Stupid Madison. Dan is so much cooler than lame-o Hart.

Mrs. Reed: Are you having fun with Madison, sweetie?
"Madison waited for Eliot to scream, 'NOOOOOOOOO! I hate her!" but he didn't."
Lol, I love Maddie.

Bigwheels: But you don't ever ever let the kid bite you. That happened to my friend Josie once and she had 2 get a tetanus shot or something like that.
Thanks, Bigwheels. Like she's really just gonna let the kid BITE HER.

Cherry yogurt = heaven.

Unless there are real cherries in it.

Eliot throws his apple juice at the wall...
...and it EXPLODES.

"'He's been so cranky lately,' Mrs. Reed said, wiping his hands off his hands and face. 'Ever since we had Becka...'"
Maybe because his dad's never around and YOU'RE A HORRIBLE MOTHER!!!

Lol, Madison and Eliot rock out to some Wee Sing.

Madison: Does Eliot go to Pool Day?
Mrs. Reed: Eliot is competing in the kickboard swim for toddlers. It's one of a handful of events for the wee ones. [Wee ones? What is she, Irish?] I think they have more competitions for the older children. I'm sure you've done Pool Day other summers before, right? You must have fond memories. I think Eliot has a shot at winning a kiddie ribbon.
Madison: And what will I be doing?
Mrs. Reed: What else? Spending time with Eliot, of course.
Oh, sorry if you had plans to participate in Pool Day, Madison. You'll be busy watching Eliot because I'M TOO BUSY SUCKING AT BEING A MOTHER.
I HAAATE this woman.

"Good morning. You know, Madison, you don't have to ring the doorbell when you come. I'm expecting you. Just walk inside. That way if I'm in the middle of changing a diaper or picking up toys or just losing my mind..."
Translation: Your ringing the doorbell messes me up. Never do it again; it p*sses me off.

Hart is back with his tickle machine.
Egg is just so hilarious. XP "So how's your boyfriend?"

LOL! Eliot throws Madison's pool bag into the POOL!
Actually, that would kind of suck if that happened to me or anyone else, but it's funny reading about it.

Ivy comes over and ridicules Madison and her baby-sitting charge.
Hello? She's getting PAID, Ivy, you lecherous ho.

Madison is way clingy in this one. She whines a lot.

Ew, nasty. Eliot pukes on Madison.

One of Madison's ideas for fun indoor games to play with Eliot is: Bath toys in the sink, towel on floor, take off shirt.
WHOA! Who will be taking off their shirt, Madison or Eliot?

Awwww, I love Eliot.
Madison: Good morning, Eliot! Hey, it's Maddie. Do you remember me?
Eliot: Course I 'member you! See my slide?

Eliot likes running around naked. Oh, the memories.

Even Madison notices that Mrs. Reed's the reason Eliot is so angry all the time. He'll probably need counseling by the time he's older.

Ben called Aimee? Wow. A junior high boy with real balls. Who knew?

Ha. Bigwheels' cousin stuck a ham sandwich and a carrot into the VCR. That should be on youtube.

Omg, Becka is not the problem!

Hart: Hey! No running!
Yeah, that's effective, Hart. Eliot trips and falls...and goes to Madison for comfort. Take that, Mrs. Reed.

Agh, stop putting yourself down, Madison. The kid TRIPPED. It's not your fault.

Mrs. Reed quotes "Gone With the Wind"?
"Oh, Madison. He'll get over it. Don't worry. Like I said, it was an accident. You'll be more careful next time. Tomorrow is another day."
Whoa. I like how she said, "It wasn't your fault," while simultaneously blaming her at the same time.

Oooh, Madison puts on a skirt to impress Hart. She has it bad.

Egg: So, did you guys see what happened at the pool today? Ivy Daly almost lost her top. Again. She is so weird.
Chet: And hot. I think she does it on purpose.
Lol, probably true.

Aw, Dan still likes Maddie. You can so tell.

DREW DROPS HIS MILKSHAKE ON MADDIE!!! AND IT WAS STRAWBERRY! You know, it was probably an accident, but I wouldn't be surprised if he did it on purpose.
You know. After she turned him down and all.
Oh, that's right, you DON'T know. We'll explore that in #11...WHICH I JUST GOT IN THE MAIL TODAY!!

Madison runs into the bathroom sobbing.

And takes off her clothes? It's a public bathroom, Madison. I hope you know YOU'RE NOT ALONE.

Fiona: I've actually been sort of jealous of you this summer.
Madison: Jealous? Of what?
Fiona: Well, I know I made a big deal about the book-a-thon and all that. [Psh, yeah you did.] And it is a big deal. [Not really.] But your job is so much cooler. You're doing something so important. And little Eliot will look up to you.
Madison: Wow. You really think that?
Aimee: She's right. I have a job at my dad's store, but I'm not helping some little kid like you.
Madison: It's so hard. He cries all the time. And nothing I say or do makes a difference.
Fiona: I bet it does. You just haven't seen it yet.
Whoa. This is getting way deep.

Uh-oh.
Aimee: Do you like Hart?
Madison: Huh?
Aimee: I know it's dumb, but the other day I heard him at the pool talking to Egg and Drew, and he was takling about you. And I was just wondering, if you like him, too, then maybe...
Fiona: Wow, that's interesting.
Madison: *having a heart attack*
Aimee: Sorry. That was a dumb thing to say. Hart is nice, but... Ivy Daly has her eye on him, anyhow.
So Madison is safe. That's so stupid, why wouldn't you just tell your friends the truth?
Then again, they'd giggle meaningfully at you all the time and make SUPER OBVIOUS hints when he was around. Never mind, I'd keep my mouth shut.

Egg: Hey, Maddie, your boyfriend looks cute today.
Madison: You know, if you're trying to be funny, Egg, try getting a new joke.
OOOOOH! PWNED!

"When she looked way up on the diving board, even Dan looked cuter than cute."
Implying that he normally doesn't look cute because he's fat and whatnot.
Ooooh...just...OOOOOH! Maddie and Dan as a couple would have been so amazing. Aaagh. It pains me.

Eliot wins the kickboard contest!

Lame. Madison can't watch ANY of her friends swim because they leave...after ONE event.

Madison realizes, however, that watching her friends swim isn't important. Playing with Eliot and gaining responsibility is the important thing.

Ooh, let's have a nail polish party!! Haha, so 7th grade.

Agh. Lindsay Frost is back. GO AWAY.

Way to be super obvious, Madison.
"Hart! Um...this is my mom...I think you met before...Maybe not..."

I'm trying to garner the meaning of this sentence.
Bigwheels: Our days are packed with trail riding and even some gymkhana like having a rodeo.
There needs to be a comma between "gymkhana" and "like", but even that doesn't make sense.

Ooh, Bigwheels meets a "really cute boy to like" at camp. He has the coolest green eyes...and lives in Idaho! Yeah, potatoes. Whoo.

Aw, Eliot shows Madison his secret zoo.

Then he gives her his blue ribbon. So adorable. Madison is a role model!

So Eliot and Madison are friends, Madison's getting paid, and summer has just begun. The End.

Madison's Computer Tip
I can look up just about anything online - and learn so many new things in a matter of minutes.

Okay then. Tomorrow we have "THE LONELY PONY"!!! Finally, right. Also, I'll read #11, AKA "Heart to Heart" as quickly as possible and maybe post it tomorrow. It involves a secret admirer, Dan, Drew, Hart, boys, dogs, and SO MUCH MORE. It's probably my favorite book in the series, because there's boys and dancing.