Somebody's getting married! Part #2

All right! Our Super Special continues!!

Plot: Madison just arrived in Texas, sans suitcase, and was forced to attend a welcome party thrown by Stephanie's family. All of Stephanie's relatives are overbearing and it's too hot outside to even think. Madison has a panic attack, and her dad disapproves of all the guests - he'd been under the impression it would be a SMALL wedding.
They get back to the hotel and Madison promises to make more of an effort to make friends.
The next day, at the rehearsal dinner, she meets Kirk (Stephanie's sexy nephew, whom she'd tried to hook Madison up with in #15) and Tiffany, a total Ivy clone!!
Now Stephanie and Dad are fighting!!
It's the day before the wedding, and Madison just wants to finish her wedding collage.
Then she receives news from home - Fiona's dad had a heart attack!!
Madison feels like a horrible friend.
Will our heroine be able to finish the collage with all this commotion?

More notes:
They meet a cowboy on the street...and he's Stephanie's cousin Tony!
How positively random.

Stephanie's dad's name is Wally.
!!!!
That's my grandpa's name!!

Why is corn chips and salsa considered a Texas-style snack?? I know SOO many Washingtonians who eat that all the time.

Madison sees a "really hot" boy. He says, "hi," grabs some chips...and walks away.

Madison has a conversation with her dad that sounds a LOT like a conversation I might have with my dad.
No need to elaborate on that.

Dad wants her to mingle with the other kids.
Kids? KIDS? "I'd would rather be with you, Dad."

Look on the bright side, Maddie: Your suitcase has arrived!!

There's nothing better than being sweaty and changing into clean, glorious clothes.

Whoa, random. Stephanie comes into her room sobbing.
Awkward....

Stephanie: I hope you know you can tell me anything.
Madison: Can I tell you that you make me nervous sometimes and that I think you try too hard and that I really, really, really don't want you to marry my dad?
Don't worry. She doesn't actually say any of that outloud.

"Stephanie and Dad disappeared throught the divider door, locking it behind them with a loud click."
Uh oh. They obviously want to be alone....

???
Fiona's dress is a perfect fit.
I guess they aren't as different as I thought.

Madison meets Stephanie's sister, Wanda, and Wanda is described as having big hair that looks pink.
I keep picturing cotton candy.

Ha ha ha.
It turns out Kirk, the "nerdy" nephew Madison so did not want to meet, is eXtReMeLy hot.

He's cuter than Hart?? Whoa, Madison has it bad.

Apparently everyone eats steak for breakfast in Texas.
Especially Kirk, whose family raises their own cattle. They have steak at every meal.

WHOA.
Jeff loves beef.
Frannie is VEGETARIAN.
Now WONDER their marriage didn't work out.

Madison decides to ditch her new "aunts" to go to the hotel by pretending to be sick.
Works every time.

:O FIONA'S DAD IS IN THE HOSPITAL. HE HAD A HEART ATTACK.

Aimee is the one who sends the e-mail, and she makes Madison feel all guilty, like she SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE.
She says stuff about how if Madison were there, they could cheer Fiona up like REAL friends.
Shut up, Aimee. Go cheer her up yourself.

Kirk doesn't sound that cute.
He's tall with brownish blond hair, cool clothes, and a cute accent.

Her friends start to accuse her of liking Hart...so, to change the subject, she's like, "Wait, did I tell you Kirk asked me to dance with him at the wedding?"
That's basically a confession right there.

Bigwheels talks about getting her own laptop.
Doesn't she already have her own computer???
And didn't she get a new one 100 pages ago???
Whatever. I'm lost.

Oh no, Wanda's car broke down!
Madison's like, "That's too bad...do I still have to go to the tea party?"
Ha.
But she still has to go. Darn.

"I have only been to one tea party in my life, in second grade, and there were dolls involved."
ME TOO!!

"Who wants a piece of paper with pictures and words stuck to it when you can have a life-size crystal collie or a complete set of silver serving pieces with little lassos on the end?"
Good question.

UGH! I hate it when parents badmouth someone, but then get mad when YOU badmouth them.

Okay, most guys are obsessed with food. I wish they would stop relating any guy who eats food to Dan "Porko" Ginsburg.

"Tiffany continued with her incessant chatter. Why wasn't anyone telling her to shut up? Madison wanted to thump Miss Texas Poison Ivy on the back and say, 'Um...clue phone, it's for you! You're not supposed to be talking now! Hello?'"
Seriously, who talks during a wedding rehearsal. I wish Madison had actually done that.

Stephanie's mom has OCD. "THE POSITION OF THE ALTAR IS ALL WRONG!"

Madison: This isn't what weddings are supposed to be like. Where is everyone going?
Kirk: Hey, at least the food is good.
Are...you...kidding me?
Typical guy behavior.

Yay, Assertive Madison sticks up for herself!

A small nose pimple??? Please. At least it's not in the middle of your forehead.

I picture Tiffany talking like Sandy Cheeks from "Spongebob Squarepants".

"As you can see, I'm a little outnumbered in the guest department. But my daughter, Maddie, makes up for all of it. She's watching over me."
Aaagh. I'd be embarassed.
Madison's totally fine, though.

Ooooh. Madison and her dad have this intimate Father-Daughter dance.
If only my dad wasn't afraid of physical touch.

To be continued....

Way to give away the end, or FTFO Madison Finn #15: Off the Wall

Don't you hate it when the library has every book in a series...
...except the one you need???
I'm trying to find a stupid picture of this book, and my library site, of course, doesn't have this one.
You know what sucks? I ordered a BUNCH of Madison Finns that I've never read, and I'm not going to be able to read them, because I'm trying to do this in series order!!! Aaargh!



Plot: Something is very, very wrong in Far Hills. Madison's favorite teacher, Mrs. Wing, has gone missing!!! She and her husband have just up and left, without leaving a note or anything!
Madison is worrieder than worried.
If that wasn't enough, Aimee's dog Blossom is about to have puppies...with another bassett hound! See, Madison and Aimee made a pact in fourth grade that had something to do with Phin and Blossom having puppies together. It appears Aimee has broken the pact!!
To get her mind off things, Madison checks out a web Egg reccomended to her called "The Wall". The Wall is full of juicy gossip, AKA heaven for 7th grade girls.
Oh no! Someone starts posting nasty things about Madison's friends...and it looks like Madison is to blame! Will Fiona, Aimee, and Lindsay ever talk to her again?
After a little bit of digging, Madison finds out the culprit is none other than Ivy herself (saw it coming).
To get back at the fiend, she writes a very nasty message about Ivy and posts it on The Wall.
Afterwards, she is racked with guilt and tells her parents everything.
They help her take down the message...and then ground her and take away her computer for a month.
OUCH.
Fiona, Aimee, and Lindsay apologize to Madison for not believing her, and everything is rosy once more.
Oh yeah, Madison forgets about the puppies, and Mrs. Wing, it turns out, left to adopt a baby!! Yay!! Sunshine and flowers!!

More notes:
Why are school computers always so slow?

Lance has a crush on Madison, but she is repulsed by his nose-picking and cheerful, "Howdy"s.

The new computer substitute is cool, lol.
"Holy cow! It took me a century to find you cats."

Mrs. Wing leaves Madison in charge...because she's the class expert.
How embarrassingly flattering.

Egg: Get out of here. I would whomp you.
"Whomp" you?? Wth?? Who says that?

Madison and Aimee "enjoy" watching Fiona and Chet's fights.
Enjoy??? What's to enjoy? Those are so awkward!

There is no way boys gossip more than girls.
But they do gossip quite a bit.

Egg sings The Wall's praises, because there aren't any moderators.
RED FLAG! RED FLAG!

There are a buttload of rules that nobody's going to follow WITHOUT MODERATORS.

Aimee IMs Maddie to tell her about the puppies.
But when they get to the part about there being a dad OTHER than Phin, Madison just signs off.
That's always nice.

Madison is such a drama queen! "My best friend has betrayed me."
They're just puppies! And it's not like you shook on the whole puppy plan.
Yeah, the whole "puppy plan" consisted of a bunch of jokes on how ugly Blossom and Phin's puppies would be.

SHE EVEN ADMITS IT! "It was like a dream of mine. I know we didn't make a formal pact or anything, but isn't a friend's word supposed to count for something?"

Dude, I looked these kinds of puppies up online, and they're adorable!!! Just go online and look up "Bassugg puppies".

Dan: Maddie! I'm so glad you're here. I could use your help big-time.
Madison: I'm glad you're here, too. It's been a bad day. I need cheering up.
Dan: Try cleaning up dog poop and cat poop. That'll cheer you up real fast.
Oh, Dan, you charmer you.

THe conversation takes an awkward turn when Madison mentions "those naked-looking cats".
Dan: *giggle* Naked?
Madison: *blush of death* So, um, about my problems....

Dan thinks Madison should chill out and not be so mad at Aimee.
He also thinks Dr. Wing and Mrs. Wing ran away together, but hey.

Madison's Dad wants to go out to dinner with Stephanie's nephew Kirk.
Madison thinks Kirk will probably be a dork.
And, of course, he's no Hart Jones.

Madison's Excuses for not dining with Kirk:
I have the walk the dog.
I have to wash my hair.
I have to save the world from an alien attack.
This probably spoils everything, but Kirk, in later books, turns out to be a way cute Kountry Gentleman.
Poor, poor Madison.

Yay, "Number the Stars"! That's one of my favorite books!!

Ivy is so evil!!
Ivy: I don't see what the big deal is. I mean, I didn't really fail the test. I only got a D, you know. Mr. Danehy is such a pain.
Joan: Science is so dumb anyway.
Ivy: And if that stupid twit Madison had just sat differently, I could have cheated off her paper, anyhow. She's such a goody-goody.
Joan: You'll pass science.
Ivy: Who really cares? I can always copy Madison's lab notes anyway. I do it all the time when she isn't looking.

Mrs. Wing adopted a baby...and Madison was the last one to know.
Been there, done that.
Meaning I've been the last to know. No, I haven't adopted a baby recently. The last baby I met yelled, "Poop," at me and threatened to beat me up if I spoke again.

Someone who goes to FHJH writes a post about Mrs. Wing on the wall. Maddie is like, "Nooo, everyone knew before me!!"
Someone replies to the post: So what, who cares?
Yeah, really, who cares? My teachers get pregnant all the time.

Aimee and Fiona are so stupid!!! They both post on a board called "Hotties" using their REAL SCREENNAMES!!! Now everyone will know it's them!
Posted by: BalletGrl
Date: 5 Nov
Message: actually I like this guy Ben but no one really knows so shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I should not have written that
Why would you write it if you didn't want anyone to know???
Posted by: Wetwinz
Date: 5 Nov
Message: of course someone who has been flirting w/me a lot wink wink can u guess who? *G*

Aimee sees the humor in the puppy situation.
Aimee: Maddie! I told you that about the puppies when we were in, like, fourth grade! And besides, my mom and dad are the ones who decide who Blossom will have puppies with, not me. And they want basset hounds, not some mix of pug and...Maddie, can you imagine what Blossom and Phin's babies would really look like?
Uh, yeah...they would be SOOO CUTE!

Fiona: By the way, I heard some big news.
Madison: Yeah, yeah, big news, I know. Mrs. Wing had a baby.
Fiona: Huh? What are you talking about? A baby? She did?
Madison: Wait. You didn't know?
Fiona: MRS. WING HAD A BABY? Oh, wow! This is, like, HUGE news. My news is so little and puny compared to yours. I just found out that the soccer team is moving their practice space. Wow! How did you find about Mrs. Wing?
So it turns out Madison isn't the last one to know, but come on, Fiona!! The soccer team is moving their practice space??? WHAT KIND OF NEWS IS THAT???

Oooh, lucky. Madison's school has free period instead of study hall.

Someone posts a REALLY mean message about Lindsay!!
Posted by: LoVeBuG
Date: Nov 6
Message: there is ms. fatty in my class and she is SOOOO fat that she cant even go 2 regular camp LOL she has to go to FAT CAMP and she walks around with a dumb black haircut & purple backpack that looks like she should be in the first grade LOSER!!! I feel bad 4 her yah right NOT FHJH would be better w/o her :)
That's pretty mean, but I thought Lindsay had light brown hair. She even has some on the cover.

Lindsay now wants all of her friends to stop going on the site.
It may be disloyal, but...
...I'd probably keep going on The Wall if I were Madison.
Which she does.

Lindsay: I bet it was the guys. I know they make fun of me because I'm overweight. I heard them once.
Madison: You did?
Lindsay: Yeah. I heard Hart and Chet talking once about who was the prettiest in our class.
Madison: Hart and Chet?
Fiona: What did they say, exactly? My brother is such a geek. Don't listen to him!
Lindsay: I don't remember everyone they were talking about, but I do know they said Ivy was the hottest girl and that some other girls were okay but some were too fat, like me and Beth Sanders.
[!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS SO MEAN!!! Proof that guys suck.]
Fiona: Well, Lindsay. Beth Sanders is fat. She's huge. She takes up two seats at lunch. You're not fat like that.
[I lied, girls suck, too. ESPECIALLY FIONA.]
Madison: That's not the point, guys.
Thank you, Madison.

Lol.
"Madison knew the truth. They would all huff and puff and complain about how terrible it was to post gossip. And then they'd each go home that very night and check the next postings on the gossip page - just in case something interesting came up."

Some people just suck at math. Video games have nothing to do with that.

Madison's Dad reads the Lindsay post outloud, and it sounds kind of funny when he says it.
"What does that text say? 'Fat camp'? 'Looks like she should be in the first grade LOSER'? What is this? This isn't an e-mail from one of your friends, is it?"

Dad thinks girls are meaner than boys.
So true.

Fiona has big news!!!
Fiona: Okay, so he finally, really asked me.
Madison: Asked you? What? Who?"
Fiona: Egg! He asked me out. For real.
Madison: He asked you out? He said those exact words.
Fiona: He wants to go to the movies next week. Can you believe it? I know we're sort of a 'couple', but this really makes a difference
AARGH, NO!! You're not officially a "couple" until he asks you out.
Otherwise, he's just playing you.
I can't believe it's been this long and he JUST NOW asked her out.
Egg's a playa....

Whoa, Madison stands up to Ivy in this one! And it's really funny!
Madison: You obviously don't know the meaning of the word homework, Ivy. It means you actually have to do work, at home.
Ivy: Well, YOU obviously don't understand what it means to be partners, Madison. It means that occasionally you show me your notes. I would do the exact same for you.
Madison: Yeah. If you ever took notes.
Ivy: Excuse me?
Madison: Look, Ivy, I have to go. Why don't you just ask Mr. Danehy for help?
PWNED!!

Why is Fiona so overdramatic??
Fiona: Maddie, I can't believe you!
Madison: What happened?
Fiona: You promised you wouldn't tell!!
Madison: Fiona...
Fiona: I thought you were my friend. How could you?
Madison: Please tell me what's wrong.
Fiona: Why don't you read The Wall? You'll see what I'm talking about, Maddie. You'll see.

Posted by: MF13
Date: 8 Nov
Message: some secrets r way 2 hard 2 keep even about my friends F.W. sez its all god but she and W.D. probably want to hook up @ the movies next week I know it what a j-o-k-e they are so NOT innocent :)
:O Okay, "Madison" basically called Fiona a slut, but Fiona seems more mad that "Madison" told her secret.
Yeah, you should keep your friends' secrets, but what's secret about being asked out?? Wouldn't you be happy? Wouldn't you WANT to share the news with everyone? I mean, you're already "a couple", right???
So, even though I know Madison didn't write this, she shouldn't have told the secret, but WHY WAS IT A SECRET IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Um, duh. Egg told everyone. Big surprise.

Madison thinks it might be Chet, then feels bad and insists they shouldn't do anything.
Why would Chet do that...AND use Madison's scrnnme? Confused.

Madison wants to know if Dan ever made up a fake screenname for himself.
Who hasn't?? No offense, Maddie, but MadFinn kind of sucks.

Aimee has a secret, too! She might get a lead in the next ballet production!
$100 it'll be on The Wall tomorrow.

Madison's gym shorts are sort of tight and Ivy makes fun of them.
I thought tight things were in?? Ivy's just jealous.

Hehehe, Madison gets paired up with Ivy for volleyball.
Ivy: I despise volleyball.
That makes two of us.
Madison: You just despise everything and everyone.
Heheheheheh.

Madison finds a bulletin about Aimee on the wall...supposedly posted by herself. Instead of calling Aimee about it, she retreats to her files to be emo???
Whatever. Aimee will be calling to yell at you in like 2 minutes anyway.

Aimee and Madison have a fight. Aimee drags up stuff from the past, about all the times Madison has lied (she's only lied once). Aimee sort of sucks.

Lol.
As Aimee's leaving, she turns around and screams, "THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!"

Egg thinks Fiona is stupid for being mad at Madison.
Go Egg!

Ivy gets "gravity" and "relativity" mixed up.
.....

Heh. Ivy and Madison have to do a science project together...and Madison makes Ivy do all the work. Payback.

Ivy: What did you find in the back?
Madison: No much. We should do more research upstairs in the media center, thought. Can you go look after school?
Ivy: Me? Why don't you go look after school.
Madison: I have an after-school conflict today.
Ivy: Well, I have a conflict, too. Like, I don't do science work after school. That's my conflict.
Madison: Maybe we should each write our own paper. I can ask Mr. Danehy if we can split-
Ivy: NO! Okay, I'll look in the media center. Don't throw a hissy about it. Gosh, you always overreact. What a drama queen.
GO MADISON!!

Mr. Danehy gives Ivy an F!!
Today is not Ivy's day.

Ugh, I hate it when people read over my shoulder!!!
Lance is a creepy kid.

Mrs. Wing brings her baby Phoebe to school.

Lance: My cousin had a big, fatso baby. He was so huge, he looked like he was stuffed.
Thanks, Lance.

Boys like babies, too.

It seems like Bigwheels is always either sick or grounded.
"SORRY I wasn't on my computer, but I was SICK and GROUNDED at the SAME TIME."

"Friends are forever, boys are whatever!"
What if all your friends are boys??

Madison wants revenge.
Noooo, don't do it, Madison! Revenge is never the answer!!

Madison writes a post about Ivy.
Posted by: MF13
Date: 11 Nov
Message: More big newz @ FHJH this time its I.D. in trouble wow is she ever. The WITCH is failing science. Yeah I.D. begged Mr. D. to pass her but he said no way so now the school is planning to EXPEL her...it is soooo bad Not only that but I heard that NO other school in the district wants to accept her b/c she has no real friends n e way LOL in fact there r no guys who will even look @ her b/c she dresses

That's as far as she gets before she accidentally publishes it.
Okay, who would even believe that? The part about having no friends and being a slut is pretty mean, but she wouldn't get EXPELLED for failing science.
Duh. Summer school.

Madison has become a pathological liar.

The bulletin won't be removed for 24 hours.
You sort of deserve it, Madison.
Revenge is never the answer.

"Now...Ivy will probably read what I posted and...she'll hate me forever and..."
"Wait just a minute, Maddie. I thought you and Ivy weren't friends anymore anyway."
Yeah!! What do you care what she thinks??
Shouldn't you be more worried about hurting her feelings than how she'll think of you? Because I'm pretty sure she already hates you.

Madison: Why are parents always right? And why am I always wrong?
Trust me, honey. Parents are NOT always right.

Lol, her dad is so delightfully evil.
"You're kidding! Oh, Maddie, you are most definitely going to tell your mother everything, from the beinning. We had a deal."
That's like on "Dan in Real Life".
"So Marty can stay?"
"*hysterical laughter* Marty can STAY???"

Madison can never go on The Wall again.
She is officially Off the Wall (that's where the title comes in).
Wait, MF13 is the one who's not allowed on the wall.
Madison could just create a new screename and go on whenever she wanted.

WtH???????
Lindsay, Aimee, and Fiona came over to apologize.
Why the sudden epiphany??
And why is Lindsay apologizing, too???
Madison had nothing to do with her Fat Camp thing!!! Lindsay probably didn't even know about the whole fight until now.
WHAT IS SHE DOING THERE??

It turns out Ivy told Hart she was MF13, and Hart told Chet who told Fiona.

Boys aren't the only shallow ones.
Such as girl on basketball team??
"Lauren, you'd be really pretty if you did this to your hair."
Um...thanks.

NICE!!! Madison's mom took away her laptop and is keeping it under lock and key in her desk drawer!!! Madison can only use it for one hour each day to check her e-mail!!
Finally! Good parenting!

Madison is super mean to Lance...even if he is a nerd.
Madison: I'm outta here.
Lance: But I just got here.
Madison: So? See you in class tomorrow.
Duh, Lance, you're the reason she's leaving.

Ivy: I'm never going to forget, you know.
Madison: Elephants never forget.
Ivy: Who are you calling.... OOOOOH! You think you're sooooo smart, don't you?
Madison just smiles and walks away.
The one time turning the other cheek actually WORKED.

Bigwheels is grounded because she told some kids a scary story.
Whatever. I bet it was the one about the finger.

Ew, I hate youngest children.

Madison's Computer Tip:
Beware of online gossip.

Truer words were never spoken.
I just read the last 2 Pony Pals books, and they were surprisingly enjoyable and kind of sad. Lulu's dad SUCKS; he's probably the worst father ever. So does Mrs. Crandal. It's like good parents don't EXIST in Wiggins. But that's all tomorrow; I have stuff to do.

Fantasy novels are just masked attempts to preach to us, or Avalon: Quest For Magic #4: Heart of Avalon

Books about Emily are always a little boring. I feel like the others outshine her...even when the book is supposed to be about her. She's just so...
Caring?
Empathetic?
Healing?
Um, try boring.



Plot: Let's get this over with. Adriane and Kara are both level 2 mages. Emily longs to join them in their level 2-ness, but still hasn't bonded with a special magical animal.
That's right, folks. Ozzie, the ever-annoying ferret/elf, is NOT Emily's bonded. He is, in fact, a unique mage, like Emily herself.
One day, at the celebrated Wavefest of Prince Merlin (the spoiled merboy Emily eventually falls in love with), several sea dragons show up with some unknown illness.
A mysterious baby sea dragon then transports Emily and Marlin to a faraway island. How? We don't know. The baby sea dragon is not REALLY a sea dragon, but some kind of magical purple and pink shapeshifter. Emily dubs him Indigo, or "Indi" for short (sort of like Indiana Jones!!).
As their friends rush to find them, Emily and Marlin try to convince Indi, who can travel along the magical web at will AND has eaten Emily's magic jewel, to take them back, but Indi uses all his magic to take them to Port Tuga.
A mysterious woman named Miranda teaches Emily to use her magic in terrifying ways that end up killing several animals. However, in the process, Emily discovers that ALL the sea animals are sick, and that she has bonded with Indi, who has become a sparkly unicorn!!
The magic needed to heal all of them is located in the Crystal Caves, which some people think don't exist. Emily, Marlin, and Indi go there, finding their friends in the process. It turns out that the cave isn't full of jewels, though; it's full of magical sea dragon eggs!! And you thought the sea dragons were going extinct!
BAM! The Dark Sorceress shows up to take the magic of the eggs. Wait...it turns out Miranda was really the Dark Sorceress. Pwned!!! Nice one.
Bla bla bla. They fight her, recover Marina, the missing water Fairimental, and save the baby dragon eggs.
However, Indi used all his magic to save Emily. He transports her to another island (a habit of his, I suppose), where a water sylph tells Emily that Indi is really one of the power crystals they are seeking. Emily is heartbroken; how can she give up her bonded? But she gives Indi up...and he comes back, because he loves her. Now he'll be a unicorn forever!
Rude awakening: Emily isn't meant to bond with a magical animal. She is meant to strengthen the bond between animal and human, so in a way she is bonded to everyone. However, Indi is now her paladin! w00t, Emily is a Level 2 mage!!
But the Dark Sorceress has another dastardly plot up her sleeve...which involves Henry Gardener, the wizard we've all been waiting for.
Unfortunately, we'll never see how that ends up, because Rachel Roberts, the author of this series, did not publish anymore books. I've heard all this crap about how she's just switching publishers, but it's been 3 years, and either she's the slowest writer ever, or she's given up. Whatever. We don't need you, Rachel Roberts. We like Madison Finn better ANYWAY!

More notes:
Tasha: The unicorn jewel and the wolf stone emit completely opposite frequencies.
Adriane: Big surprise.
If that's not foreshadowing, I don't know what is.
Wait...if they emit completely different frequencies, shouldn't that make them create beautiful harmony together? That's what happens with light, anyway.

Kara: Tasha, you rock!
Tasha: Actually, I crystallize, Princess.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh.

All of them are Level 2 mages...except for Emily. All of them have bonded animals...except for Emily. All of them have boyfriends...except for Emily.
Mwahahaha.

"Kara smiled her million-dollar blazing star smile."
I swear they copied that out of the movie "Life Size".

Marlin: It's all those sea dragons' fault! Magic attracts magic! Everyone knows that.
Jaaran: What does a jerk attract?
Someone's been watching "Seinfeld".

"Pups rolled across the sand as a purple blur erupted from the center of the pile."
Lol. That just looks funny when you picture it. Especially when the pups look like baby seals...laff attack.

Indi shapeshifts to look like Ozzie, and Emily doesn't realize something's wrong until she notices he doesn't have a collar - and this is after the Ozzie lookalike has showed up with pink/purple fur, eaten her backpack and jewel, and talken in gibberish for the past ten minutes.
Nice, Emily.

Adriane: Jaaran!! *flyingleaphug*
Jaaran: Adriane, I'm so glad you're here.
Zach: *jealous fuming*
Lorren: Probably just friends, I'm sure.
ROFL!! Oh, the drama!

Jaaran says, "What are you insinuating?" Agh, I remember Amber would say that ALL THE TIME in 7th grade.
Blah. 7th grade.

They go to a place called Port Tuga. Hm, that wouldn't happen to be a play on Tortuga, would it?

Emily believes in evolution, but she's against it. How does that work out??

Indi's name was Riba until Emily decided to change it.
I like Riba better. Rrrrrrrrrrrriba.

"Magic lamps! Only been rubbed once."
Euphemism for sex?

Tee hee hee, Miranda teaches Emily to use Jedi Mind Tricks on some advancing trolls. "You don't want this magical creature. We were never here, you never saw us, we never existed."

Indi has Indi-gestion.
-_-

Miranda is so Sith!!! She's corrupting Emily like Sidious corrupted Anakin.
"Maybe, someday, I can evil stop people from dying!!!"

Miranda is such a liar!!!!

Rah!! She's killing them all! All the sea creatures IN THE WORLD.

Lol. Marlin's all, "Who's Miranda? What are you talking about?"
You are now in...THE TWILIGHT ZONE.

Marlin randomly jumps into the water to save his sea dragon from a pack of hungry sea wolves.
You're screwed, my friend.
And Emily does NOTHING to help him...because standing on the deck screaming, "Oh no, Marlin," does not count.

She killed them all. And not just the men...but the women, and the children. They were animals, and she killed them, like animals.
SHE HATES THEM!!!
[For all of you who are really confused, go watch "Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones". The funniest movie you will ever see, I guarantee it.]

They run into sirens who try to lure them away from their destination.
In an ocean of tears, we wait.
Waiting, longing for home.
There is no today.
No tomorrow.
No place to go.
Whaaat? The sirens collaborated with an emo band??

"Every seafaring elf knows how to protect himself from the siren's lure. Get wig-jiggy with it."
-_-
And no, it wasn't Ozzie who said that, surprisingly enough.

Hm, all the creatures in the water are sick. Could it be the water is making them sick??? GOOD JOB, EMILY!!! XP

"It ain't all tweetybirds and pretty monkeys out there."
That's an interesting picture.

Tasha has disappeared.
"'Listen, pal.' Lorren stepped close to Marlin. 'I'm not leaving here without her!'
Emily caught a momentary flash of jealousy in Kara's eyes."
I'd be jealous, too.
Boy drama sucks.

Emily: I'm sorry about the Flyer. She was a good...boot. [Boat]
Cribby: None like her!
Marlin: If we make it back to Aquatania, we'll build you a new one.
Will Turner: A better one!
Jack Sparrow: A better one!
Will Turner: That one.
Jack Sparrow: That one??? Aye, that one!

The magic in the sea dragons' eggs could heal all...but they don't want to take the lives of the babies to save everyone else.
Veiled anti-abortion message?

Zach has the power to control time...but he's not very good at it.
So Kara stupidly tries to help him, and Adriane spazzes out. MORE FORESHADOWING.

Aw, Marlin saves Emily from the burden of hatching sea dragons.
They all imprint on him.

Indi is a power crystal!!!
That could be why he's pink and purple.

Indi now looks like the hunchback of Notre Dame.
Apparently, he's the Heart of Avalon, the most powerful of the nine power crystals. Whoop-dee-doo.

Why isn't the sylph on the cover wearing any clothes?

"Emily could feel the sorrow pouring from him as Indi finally resigned himself to his fate. With a shuddering sigh, all the color washed away as the creature that was Indi began to shrink, folding in on itself, shapeshifting for the last time. In her outstretched hands, Emily held a plain gray, heart-shaped rock.
'You don't love me anymore.'
'No,' Emily stammered. 'That's not what I meant.'
With a loud crack, the stone split down the middle."
Mwahaha. That's kind of funny.
Malachi: Hearts of Stone.
From Bible flashcards in like 1st grade.
But that's so emo!!! It's the sirens' fault; their bad influence made Indi suicidal.

Avalon is where you heart is. So if home is where your heart is, and that's where your treasure is also, then Avalon is at home...with all of your treasure...so you're rich??
Sorry, spaghetti brain.

"'I am the merfolk prince.' Marlin met his father's gaze. 'But I am also a dragon rider.'"
And with that, he rips off his clothes and hops into the sea.
Lol. He's a dragon rider. LIKE ERAGON!!

Peanut, Cocoa, and Bananas are good dragon names.

Emily: I think he knows how lucky Aquatania is to have a prine like you.
Marlin: *takes her hand* No one ever saw magic in me, until you.
AAAAAAAAAGH SOOOOO SAPPY!!! If this wasn't a children's book, they'd be kissing right now.

Even more foreshadowing. Adriane is majorly at odds with Kara and the way Kara treats Zach.

The Dark Sorceress' plan involves phantom wraiths, which are like dementors. Nice.

The crystal she gave to Adriane WAS tainted. Whooooa!! How evil is that??

So we'll most likely never find out what would've happened or what's going to happen in the rest of the series. There are no more Avalons, for which I'm a little sorry, but there are 3 Pony Pals left in the series, and a buttload of Madison Finns, so stay tuned!

You are not allowed to feel anger towards a disabled person, or Pony Pals #32: He's My Pony!

The description of this book on krl.org is a little off:
A handicapped girl forms a special bond with a gentle horse.
They forgot to add: The horse's jealous owner throws a hissy fit. Horse isn't the right term, however. Acorn is a pony.



Plot: It's summer again and the Pony Pals are going to be in another parade, seeing as the townspeople can't get enough of them. Things don't remain perfect forever, though. Christine, Anna's neighbor's niece, is visiting her aunt and becomes good friends with the Pony Pals. She loves ponies, is a good artist, and has cerebral palsy, but is afraid of riding horses. Anna should be best friends with her, but Christine falls madly in love with Acorn, as young blonde girls are wont to do in this series, making Anna super jealous.
Then Christine asks if she could take riding lessons on Acorn, and the Pony Pals readily agree, kind of forgetting ANNA IS THE ONE WHO OWNS ACORN.
Then Christine thinks up an idea for the fair/parade: a face painting booth! She starts practicing on local children and her ideas are SOOO much better than Anna's! Anna gets jealous and runs away one Acorn, even though she is worried that he might like Christine more than he likes her.
The Pony Pals come after her and convince her that Acorn loves her, bla bla bla, and then tell her that Christine's "great" ideas came from a book! Anna apologizes to Christine and the other girl accepts. They continue her lessons on Acorn.
Anna comes up with a great nonselfish idea: why not let Christine display her new riding talents in the parade...on Acorn?? She has Mike Lacey help her out, and Christine rides in the parade. Yay.

More notes:
I seriously marked like every page in this book. There's 90 PAGES!

OMG, JUST SAY BAY!!! It's always "brown-and-black", "brown-and-black". DUDE! HE'S BAY!

Dang, Christine is a really good artist. Compared to Anna, anyway.

Christine isn't all awkward about her disability and she's really nice. I like her.

The phrase "smacked her lips" always throws me off. I don't really get it.

AGH I hate people who are all, "Oh, she's disabled, she probably couldn't do that," and it's something like playing tag.

Pam: Anna's mother owns Off-Main Diner. It's the best diner in town.
Anna: It's the only diner in town.
Finally. Those girls needed a reality check.

Mrs. Crandal: I'll bring Daisy out.
Pam: Daisy is my mother's best school pony for beginners.
Daisy is your mother's only pony.

Pam: When a pony or horse is blond, it's called a palomino.
Anna: A Pony Pal palomino.
Laaame.

Daisy attacks Christine. Way to go.

The picture is so stupid. Daisy is humongous, Christine is floating in mid air, and Anna looks shocked like she should help her, but it is looking at something off to the side. Look up in the sky, it's a bird! It's a plane! It's Christine being attacked by a crazy Shetland pony, Anna! Get with the program!

Quizzes and guessing games are completely different things.

Oh no, Acorn did a trick for Christine without Anna's signal!

Paul Bachem's pictures look like crap, as usual.

Pam: My mother will put a special girth on Acorn. It has handles.
Yes, Pam. It's called a surcingle. If you were really such a horse expert, you'd know that.

Acorn does a new trick for Christine! Oooowned!

Anna is REALLY jealous, so she's like, "Acorn, get away from Christine. It's time for your, um, bath."

Jack and Jill are 6 again.

Whoa, the twins start talking to Christine about her walker and how beautiful it is.

Mike: Hi.
Anna: What are you doing here?
Mike: I was trying to catch up with you. And I did. I could have beaten you.
What is with boys and their competitiveness?

There's a picture of Rosalie running up to Anna WITH BROWN HAIR (she's so blonde!!), and all the Pony Pals look shocked/disgusted. ??? I thought they loved little kids?

Aw, Anna feels inferior. This is way depressing.

Mrs. Crandal: Okay. Acorn won't move until you tell him to.
Christine: How do I tell him?
Mrs. Crandal: Sit tall, make a clicking sound, and say, 'Move on.'
Squeezing lightly with your knees works, too.

They're supposed to be riding in a circle, but Christine is riding on the inside and Lulu and Pam keep passing her. So much for riding safety.

"I wish Christinewasn't here. I wish we were just the Pony Pals."
Doesn't Anna feel this anytime someone infiltrates their little group/joins their cult?

HOLY CRAP. Enough with the BROWNIES.

Anna is mean to Pam. I don't like Pam, so I'm not exactly objecting.

Okay, Christine's designs are really hideous. Her clown face is more of a drag queen.

Yeah, running out of the diner and riding away will give you the melodramatic edge you're going for, Anna.

Mike Lacey just randomly starts following her.

WHOA: Anna admits she's a horrible, selfish person. Whaaaaat? No way! Pam never admits she's wrong until someone else apologizes; Lulu is never wrong (in her own mind); but Anna's like, "Yeah, I suck." Go Anna!

Anna: Mike saw me crying. He better not tell Tommy.
Like he would.... "Dude, I totally saw that Anna girl crying!" "Aw, sweet, man! High five! Let's go pester her!" "Right on!"

Anna: Acorn likes Chris better than me.
Lulu: No, he doesn't. Acorn is friendly. That's the kind of pony he is.
That's the response jealous girlfriends get, too.

Oh, it turns out Christine is just a little plagiarist! Actually, not really. That's what face painting books are for.

Anna decides to apologize on her own! Woo!

Christine apologizes for keeping the book a secret. She thought maybe her ideas wouldn't be as good as Anna's. Are you kidding? Have you SEEN Anna's drawings?

"Christine drew a face. Anna painted the black parts of the vampire face. Christine did the red parts. She liked painting blood."
That sounds kind of creepy.

They have a drag queen clown, a passable lion, and a hippie child? The conservative parents of Wiggins would never go for that!

They draw something that looks like a monkey, but I think it's supposed to be a dragon.

No ways, Mike helps Anna out! He gets the surcingle for her so it's ready for the parade. Aww, I love Mike.

Anna: *face painting* Now you are a perfect rainbow.
Little boy: Wow! I'm never going to wash my face again!
You're a boy, so you probably never will.

Aw, Acorn does the tricks for Anna without a signal at the very end. How sweet.

I sort of liked that one. Not really. BEST MADDIE FINN EVER! CAN'T WAIT!