NYC is sparkly and glamorous, despite the muggings, or FTFO Madison Finn #20: All That Glitters

I like how Madison's lived in New York all this time, but has never been to New York City. Oh, now I want to go.



Plot: It's Lindsay Frost's 13th birthday, and she's invited Madison, Aimee, and Fiona to spend it with her in NYC! There will be endless shopping, cake, and sparkles, all thanks to Lindsay's naturally-high Aunt Mimi.
But the birthday weekend doesn't go so well. Lindsay's parents are in the middle of a divorce and her dad even skips the birthday dinner! It's the worst birthday ever.
But, though Fiona and Aimee aren't able to, Madison comforts her friend, seeing as she's experience divorce before, and makes the birthday weekend even better.
Um, that's about it. Nothing really significant happens.

More notes:
Agh, Nancy Drew books. I think Nancy Drew was a Mary Sue.

Madison takes Phin to a dog park. Jealous!! I wish they had one in my area. Tie would probably hate it, though.

Surprise. She runs into Drew and Hart.

Drew: I invited everyone over to my house this afternoon; sort of a last-minute thing. We thought of it when we were playing hockey. Want to come?
Hart: Yeah. I'll be there. *HINT HINT HINT*

"Madison didn't know how to answer. It was one of those scary moments. If she had been honest with herself - and with everyone else, especially Hart - she would have jumped right over the dog-run fence, fallen into Hart's arms, and declared, 'You'll be there? Well, let's go right now!'"
It would have been so entertaining if you had, Madison.

As soon as Hart leaves, Madison ends up tripping over 5 or 6 dogs and falling on her butt.
That was beautifully timed. You were lucky.

Uh-oh. Drew, Elaine, and Hart are the only ones there.
Is this some kind of twisted double date?? AWKWARD.

Nope. Everyone else showed up 5 seconds later. Crisis averted.

Awww, Madison and Hart held hands.

Whoa, and she sat on his lap, and they ate pizza.
*shudder* Boundaries, people.

But the thing Madison is most affected by is the fact that their knees WERE PRACTICALLY TOUCHING!!!
Um.......okay.

But, in spite of all of this, he didn't ask her out. Mixed messages much?

Madison thinks she and Hart are destined for one another, because her past relationships (i.e, summer flings, older boys, etc.) didn't last.

Holy crap. Lindsay's parents will be paying for ALL the shopping, dining, and transportation for the birthday weekend. How rich are they??

Lindsay's Aunt Mimi is super creepy. She reminds me of the Weezy on "Dragon Tales". Not like I've ever watched "Dragon Tales", or anything.

Apparently Aunt Mimi got rich from making a bunch of "magic" cosmetics.
She's also dated several big movie stars, and for one of Lindsay's birthdays, she rented a circus tent (complete with elephant).

I don't know, read this, and tell me if you want to slap Mimi, too.
Madison: I'm glad to meet you by phone. Can you tell Lindsay that I called?
Mimi: Sweetums, you haven't even told me your name!
Madison: Oh, I'm Madison Finn.
Mimi: Madison! Did you say Madison? Is this the Madison?
Madison: Uh, yeah, I guess.
Mimi: Awww! I knwo you! Lindsay has told me gobs and oodles about you. My goodness! How are you? How's your pooch? You're the one with a pug, right?
Madison: Right.
Mimi: So you'll be coming to the big glittery bash in the Big Apple! Fah-bulous!
Madison: Will you tell Lindsay I called?
Mimi: Hey! Does a mosquito bite? You betcha I will!
The voice I'm hearing in my head is grating.

I'd be super embarrassed if one of my friends screamed, "Hello, party girls!" in the hall.
Which Lindsay does.

What?? Lindsay doesn't want any presents!! What kind of teenager is she??

Aimee wants to go shopping.
Fiona wants to visit the Empire State Building.
Madison wants to visit the American Museum of Natural History and Central Park.
Sounds...fun, Madison.

Whaat?? Hart just randomly throws his arm around Madison's shoulder, all comrade-y like. It's kind of creepy. BOUNDARIES!

Okay, so Hart put his arm around Madison's shoulder. Fiona's like, "OMG, YOU GUYS WERE PRACTICALLY MAKING OUT!!!"
Yeah...there's a little more physical contact involved there, Fiona.

The school is giving a PSAT for 7th graders?? How random!

Madison jokingly sticks her tongue out at Hart and he somehow thinks she wants to break up.
Are you kidding?? This is so stupid.

Lindsay wants to know if they can study for the standardized test while they're in New York. There's not much you can do to study for a standardized test.

She even threatens to cancel so they can all study together!!!
Something tells me you won't have any friends if you do that.

Okay. Turns out Hart wasn't phased by the tongue thing.

Madison: I was writing in my online journal. I keep these computer files....
Hart: Files? What's in the files?
Madison: *thinking* Duh! What do you think? All my daydreams about you, dork! *thinking*
Lol.

Hart asks her out!! Finally!!!
He wants to take her to a car show, though. Hmmmm....
Beggars can't be choosers, I guess.

Uh-oh. He wants to go THIS Saturday. The day of the PARTY!
Madison declines.
Hart thinks she's turning him down.
He runs off to go drown his sorrow in the Emo corner.

And now they can't ever go out again because Hart's dad will be working for the next couple Saturdays, sooo...
Soooo....what does that mean?? Have Madison's mom or whatever take you!

Madison's friends are no comfort. They're like, "You rejected him! You blew it! Well, not really, but that's how he sees it!"

Agh. You're 12, Madison. I doubt you are actually IN LOVE with Hart.

Well, now we know Madison's password, which is "IHEARTHART".
-_-

Argh. Madison wants to ditch the party so she can go out with Hart. Car show...or overnight stay in New York City?? You choose.

Aimee still sucks.

Whaaaat...they're all going on the train by themselves. Well, they'll be together, but still. That would scare the crap out of me.

Each girl gets a "Birthday Pass" with stuff they're going to do during the weekend. That's kind of really cool, no lie.

Fiona shows the conductor her Birthday Pass as a joke, and the conductor has no sense of humor and is all, "WHERE IS YOUR TICKET, STOWAWAY!?"

Aunt Mimi shows up wearing a cape. Wth?? Who is she, Zorro?

Lindsay: What do you think so far?
Madison: Your aunt is amazing.
Lindsay: I know. But I don't know how she and my mom could possibyl be sisters.
Madison: Your mom is nice, too.
Lindsay: Yeah, but she isn't cool, not like Aunt Mimi.
Madison: Are any moms truly cool? [Too true.]
Lindsay: Your mom is. She makes movies. She travels all over the world.
Madison: But she doesn't wear fur hats or capes.
Oh, how I wish my mom would wear fur hats or capes. Then she would truly be cool.

Have you ever bought something just because it was on sale?? That has to be the reason Aimee bought a pink leotard with flowers around the neck, not that those things don't ooze "cool".

HOLY CRAP! Aunt Mimi has her own FLOOR! Now I don't doubt that she can afford to pay for all these girls' misadventures.

I'm sorry, but it's super awkward when someone starts crying. I know I do it, but it's weird when someone else does it.
And Lindsay just randomly bursts into tears, saying cryptic things, like, "Everything is fine, which means everything is not fine. It's the same as usual."

Aimee and Fiona think Lindsay is sad because she misses her parents and because she's afraid of becoming a teenager.
Madison is like, "Wth, I know why she's sad. Morons."

Mimi redecorates every 3 months!!? That's just a waste of money.

Aimee wonders if Mimi is as rich as Drew, but Lindsay concludes that Drew's family must be richer because he owns 2 houses, but Aunt Mimi has one apartment and stays in the nicest hotels the rest of the time.
In that case, Aunt Mimi is much richer than they are.

Lindsay is sad because her dad hasn't called. Oh.

Ivy e-mails Madison because it turns out Madison accidentally took Ivy's science notebook.
Lindsay: I bet there's juicy gossip inside that book.
Madison: I wonder. But I guess even Ivy's allowed to have a secret journal.
She's come a long way from, "IVY IS SUCH A LIAR, I MUST PEEK AT HER NOTEBOOK!"

Awwww. Lindsay's dad moved out and she's afraid he hates her. :(

Aunt Mimi has red hair. For someone reason, I pictured her with pink hair.

Fiona: What does turning into a teenager realy mean, anyway?
Aimee: It means you can drive. You can date. You can vote.
Lindsay: Aim! I can't do any of those things.
Aimee: Not yet. But soon. Well, sort of soon.
Uh, not sort of soon. I'm 15 and I still can't do any of those things.

Lindsay has nothing to wear, so everyone lends her some clothes and she ends up with the outfit she's wearing on the cover. Everyone else is like, "OMG, YOU LOOK SO FAB," but...? I don't know. I like the boots, though.

Daaang. Aunt Mimi buys them all sunglasses so they can "get their cool on". Of course, Madison gets orange ones.
Argh. I wish I could WEAR sunglasses. I find these Cover All sunglasses that go over perscription lenses, but my mom was like, "Nice try."

Aimee can't stop staring at her reflection. Yay, a born narcissist!
How come it's funny when Aimee does it, though, but stuck-up when Ivy does it?

Yay, they all get makeovers. Best birthday ever.

I'm going to make some hot chocolate and FREEZE IT.

Despite all this mad fun, Madison wishes Hart were with her so they could drink Frrrozen Hot Chocolate and make out afterwards.
NO LIE, THAT'S WHAT SHE SAYS...sort of.

Hahaha, they take a special stop for Madison and go to Madison Avenue!! I cannot breathe for laughing.

Shopping...or the planetarium. Shopping...planetarium...shopping...planetarium...
I don't know...will there be shopping at the planetarium??

Okay, now I think Lindsay just wants attention. Aimee and Fiona shift their attention to some cute guys and all of a sudden, Lindsay's sobbing. "Are you okay, Lindsay?" "Oh, yes, I just miss my dad." -_-

Aunt Mimi refuses to let the girls stalk the cute boys. Good plan.

"It didn't matter how much you like someone. If there was a really cute or Cute (with a capital C) guy in the room, checking him out was necessary."
That should be the Golden Rule.

"If this is the city that never sleeps, then why I am so tired?"
Wouldn't you be tired if you never slept? That makes perfect sense.

The best part of the day for Madison was buying super bouncy balls and a foil sticker at the gift shop.
How thrilling.

Fiona spills wine all over Aunt Mimi's cream-colored scarf. That scarf is a goner. But Aunt Mimi doesn't seem to mind.
What was Fiona doing with wine in the first place?

Lindsay's dad doesn't show up to the birthday dinner. :(
But she pouts the entire time. Not awkward or anything.

Madison: Ever hear the one about the birthday cat?
Mrs. Frost: No, I have not.
Aunt Mimi: Tell us, Maddie!
Madison: Well...I...I...forgot.
For some reason, that's the funniest joke I've ever heard.

Awww, they don't get to eat cake because Lindsay wants to go home. So they get it to go.
Sorry to be unempathetic or callous, but that's probably the saddest thing about the whole evening. It was CHOCOLATE cake.

Lindsay gets a fantasy book, a tapestry backpack (kewl), a giftcard to Aimee's Dad's bookstore, and theater tickets (from her mom).

Madison gets her this necklace with a book charm, which is supposed to be clever or something.
At least she didn't recycle her snow bunnies charm.

Dad finally shows up...but Lindsay's not mad. No, she's...excited?
Madison's the only one who gets why she feels that way.

Agh, so awkward between parents.
And Lindsay keeps being all, "Oh, Daddy!!!"

And her dad gets her...theater tickets.
Uh-oh.

There's this random paragraph about Aimee's dream to dance in The Nutcracker Suite. "She knew that that was a big, big dream."
WHO CARES??? This book isn't about Aimee!!

Girl talk!! It turns out Lindsay likes...Dan??
"I mean, he's always funny and nice, and he talks about books with me sometimes in the library."
Awwww...

Bigwheels is gushing about Reggie again, and how he got her this adorable purple bear, and she wonders if they could possibly be "in love".
Aaagh. Lol, then she mentions her friend's feelings on the matter.
"My friend Lainie would freak at the thought. She doesn't even really LIKE boys. She never has gone out with one or followed one in school or even said much about thinking they're cute."
I have friends like that...and they're not gay.

AGH. Lindsay starts spazzing out about the test. And crying. AGAIN.
So Aunt Mimi brings out the chocolate cake they couldn't eat last night. YAY!!!

Fiona coyly suggests that Lindsay wish Dan would like her back for her birthday wish, and Mrs. Frost is like, "DAN! DAN! LINDSAY, IS THERE SOME BOY YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME ABOUT??"

WHAAAT? The cake last night was CHOCOLATE!! But this cake is white with purple icing!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

They study for the test on the train. I'm sure that was fun. Aimee's like, "Nooo, I want to play Mash or Truth or Dare."

Eddie (Bigwheel's autistic brother) learned some more words! Yay!

Egg told Fiona that his sister told him that the standardized test is not worth worrying about.
Nice job, Lindsay. Way to freak out over NOTHING.

Hart gives Madison the silent treatment.
How mature.

After getting rejected last week, Hart decides to ask Madison out via note rather than face-to-face.
But at least he asked her out.

Madison's Computer Tip:
When you need to thank someone or send a birthday card or any greeting card, use an E-card service.

#21 is next, and that one wasn't so good, but whatever, I have nothing else to do, and the Maytag man is upstairs and I'm in my pajamas, so I can't go up there. I guess I'm stuck with you guys.

Way to give away the end, or FTFO Madison Finn #15: Off the Wall

Don't you hate it when the library has every book in a series...
...except the one you need???
I'm trying to find a stupid picture of this book, and my library site, of course, doesn't have this one.
You know what sucks? I ordered a BUNCH of Madison Finns that I've never read, and I'm not going to be able to read them, because I'm trying to do this in series order!!! Aaargh!



Plot: Something is very, very wrong in Far Hills. Madison's favorite teacher, Mrs. Wing, has gone missing!!! She and her husband have just up and left, without leaving a note or anything!
Madison is worrieder than worried.
If that wasn't enough, Aimee's dog Blossom is about to have puppies...with another bassett hound! See, Madison and Aimee made a pact in fourth grade that had something to do with Phin and Blossom having puppies together. It appears Aimee has broken the pact!!
To get her mind off things, Madison checks out a web Egg reccomended to her called "The Wall". The Wall is full of juicy gossip, AKA heaven for 7th grade girls.
Oh no! Someone starts posting nasty things about Madison's friends...and it looks like Madison is to blame! Will Fiona, Aimee, and Lindsay ever talk to her again?
After a little bit of digging, Madison finds out the culprit is none other than Ivy herself (saw it coming).
To get back at the fiend, she writes a very nasty message about Ivy and posts it on The Wall.
Afterwards, she is racked with guilt and tells her parents everything.
They help her take down the message...and then ground her and take away her computer for a month.
OUCH.
Fiona, Aimee, and Lindsay apologize to Madison for not believing her, and everything is rosy once more.
Oh yeah, Madison forgets about the puppies, and Mrs. Wing, it turns out, left to adopt a baby!! Yay!! Sunshine and flowers!!

More notes:
Why are school computers always so slow?

Lance has a crush on Madison, but she is repulsed by his nose-picking and cheerful, "Howdy"s.

The new computer substitute is cool, lol.
"Holy cow! It took me a century to find you cats."

Mrs. Wing leaves Madison in charge...because she's the class expert.
How embarrassingly flattering.

Egg: Get out of here. I would whomp you.
"Whomp" you?? Wth?? Who says that?

Madison and Aimee "enjoy" watching Fiona and Chet's fights.
Enjoy??? What's to enjoy? Those are so awkward!

There is no way boys gossip more than girls.
But they do gossip quite a bit.

Egg sings The Wall's praises, because there aren't any moderators.
RED FLAG! RED FLAG!

There are a buttload of rules that nobody's going to follow WITHOUT MODERATORS.

Aimee IMs Maddie to tell her about the puppies.
But when they get to the part about there being a dad OTHER than Phin, Madison just signs off.
That's always nice.

Madison is such a drama queen! "My best friend has betrayed me."
They're just puppies! And it's not like you shook on the whole puppy plan.
Yeah, the whole "puppy plan" consisted of a bunch of jokes on how ugly Blossom and Phin's puppies would be.

SHE EVEN ADMITS IT! "It was like a dream of mine. I know we didn't make a formal pact or anything, but isn't a friend's word supposed to count for something?"

Dude, I looked these kinds of puppies up online, and they're adorable!!! Just go online and look up "Bassugg puppies".

Dan: Maddie! I'm so glad you're here. I could use your help big-time.
Madison: I'm glad you're here, too. It's been a bad day. I need cheering up.
Dan: Try cleaning up dog poop and cat poop. That'll cheer you up real fast.
Oh, Dan, you charmer you.

THe conversation takes an awkward turn when Madison mentions "those naked-looking cats".
Dan: *giggle* Naked?
Madison: *blush of death* So, um, about my problems....

Dan thinks Madison should chill out and not be so mad at Aimee.
He also thinks Dr. Wing and Mrs. Wing ran away together, but hey.

Madison's Dad wants to go out to dinner with Stephanie's nephew Kirk.
Madison thinks Kirk will probably be a dork.
And, of course, he's no Hart Jones.

Madison's Excuses for not dining with Kirk:
I have the walk the dog.
I have to wash my hair.
I have to save the world from an alien attack.
This probably spoils everything, but Kirk, in later books, turns out to be a way cute Kountry Gentleman.
Poor, poor Madison.

Yay, "Number the Stars"! That's one of my favorite books!!

Ivy is so evil!!
Ivy: I don't see what the big deal is. I mean, I didn't really fail the test. I only got a D, you know. Mr. Danehy is such a pain.
Joan: Science is so dumb anyway.
Ivy: And if that stupid twit Madison had just sat differently, I could have cheated off her paper, anyhow. She's such a goody-goody.
Joan: You'll pass science.
Ivy: Who really cares? I can always copy Madison's lab notes anyway. I do it all the time when she isn't looking.

Mrs. Wing adopted a baby...and Madison was the last one to know.
Been there, done that.
Meaning I've been the last to know. No, I haven't adopted a baby recently. The last baby I met yelled, "Poop," at me and threatened to beat me up if I spoke again.

Someone who goes to FHJH writes a post about Mrs. Wing on the wall. Maddie is like, "Nooo, everyone knew before me!!"
Someone replies to the post: So what, who cares?
Yeah, really, who cares? My teachers get pregnant all the time.

Aimee and Fiona are so stupid!!! They both post on a board called "Hotties" using their REAL SCREENNAMES!!! Now everyone will know it's them!
Posted by: BalletGrl
Date: 5 Nov
Message: actually I like this guy Ben but no one really knows so shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I should not have written that
Why would you write it if you didn't want anyone to know???
Posted by: Wetwinz
Date: 5 Nov
Message: of course someone who has been flirting w/me a lot wink wink can u guess who? *G*

Aimee sees the humor in the puppy situation.
Aimee: Maddie! I told you that about the puppies when we were in, like, fourth grade! And besides, my mom and dad are the ones who decide who Blossom will have puppies with, not me. And they want basset hounds, not some mix of pug and...Maddie, can you imagine what Blossom and Phin's babies would really look like?
Uh, yeah...they would be SOOO CUTE!

Fiona: By the way, I heard some big news.
Madison: Yeah, yeah, big news, I know. Mrs. Wing had a baby.
Fiona: Huh? What are you talking about? A baby? She did?
Madison: Wait. You didn't know?
Fiona: MRS. WING HAD A BABY? Oh, wow! This is, like, HUGE news. My news is so little and puny compared to yours. I just found out that the soccer team is moving their practice space. Wow! How did you find about Mrs. Wing?
So it turns out Madison isn't the last one to know, but come on, Fiona!! The soccer team is moving their practice space??? WHAT KIND OF NEWS IS THAT???

Oooh, lucky. Madison's school has free period instead of study hall.

Someone posts a REALLY mean message about Lindsay!!
Posted by: LoVeBuG
Date: Nov 6
Message: there is ms. fatty in my class and she is SOOOO fat that she cant even go 2 regular camp LOL she has to go to FAT CAMP and she walks around with a dumb black haircut & purple backpack that looks like she should be in the first grade LOSER!!! I feel bad 4 her yah right NOT FHJH would be better w/o her :)
That's pretty mean, but I thought Lindsay had light brown hair. She even has some on the cover.

Lindsay now wants all of her friends to stop going on the site.
It may be disloyal, but...
...I'd probably keep going on The Wall if I were Madison.
Which she does.

Lindsay: I bet it was the guys. I know they make fun of me because I'm overweight. I heard them once.
Madison: You did?
Lindsay: Yeah. I heard Hart and Chet talking once about who was the prettiest in our class.
Madison: Hart and Chet?
Fiona: What did they say, exactly? My brother is such a geek. Don't listen to him!
Lindsay: I don't remember everyone they were talking about, but I do know they said Ivy was the hottest girl and that some other girls were okay but some were too fat, like me and Beth Sanders.
[!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS SO MEAN!!! Proof that guys suck.]
Fiona: Well, Lindsay. Beth Sanders is fat. She's huge. She takes up two seats at lunch. You're not fat like that.
[I lied, girls suck, too. ESPECIALLY FIONA.]
Madison: That's not the point, guys.
Thank you, Madison.

Lol.
"Madison knew the truth. They would all huff and puff and complain about how terrible it was to post gossip. And then they'd each go home that very night and check the next postings on the gossip page - just in case something interesting came up."

Some people just suck at math. Video games have nothing to do with that.

Madison's Dad reads the Lindsay post outloud, and it sounds kind of funny when he says it.
"What does that text say? 'Fat camp'? 'Looks like she should be in the first grade LOSER'? What is this? This isn't an e-mail from one of your friends, is it?"

Dad thinks girls are meaner than boys.
So true.

Fiona has big news!!!
Fiona: Okay, so he finally, really asked me.
Madison: Asked you? What? Who?"
Fiona: Egg! He asked me out. For real.
Madison: He asked you out? He said those exact words.
Fiona: He wants to go to the movies next week. Can you believe it? I know we're sort of a 'couple', but this really makes a difference
AARGH, NO!! You're not officially a "couple" until he asks you out.
Otherwise, he's just playing you.
I can't believe it's been this long and he JUST NOW asked her out.
Egg's a playa....

Whoa, Madison stands up to Ivy in this one! And it's really funny!
Madison: You obviously don't know the meaning of the word homework, Ivy. It means you actually have to do work, at home.
Ivy: Well, YOU obviously don't understand what it means to be partners, Madison. It means that occasionally you show me your notes. I would do the exact same for you.
Madison: Yeah. If you ever took notes.
Ivy: Excuse me?
Madison: Look, Ivy, I have to go. Why don't you just ask Mr. Danehy for help?
PWNED!!

Why is Fiona so overdramatic??
Fiona: Maddie, I can't believe you!
Madison: What happened?
Fiona: You promised you wouldn't tell!!
Madison: Fiona...
Fiona: I thought you were my friend. How could you?
Madison: Please tell me what's wrong.
Fiona: Why don't you read The Wall? You'll see what I'm talking about, Maddie. You'll see.

Posted by: MF13
Date: 8 Nov
Message: some secrets r way 2 hard 2 keep even about my friends F.W. sez its all god but she and W.D. probably want to hook up @ the movies next week I know it what a j-o-k-e they are so NOT innocent :)
:O Okay, "Madison" basically called Fiona a slut, but Fiona seems more mad that "Madison" told her secret.
Yeah, you should keep your friends' secrets, but what's secret about being asked out?? Wouldn't you be happy? Wouldn't you WANT to share the news with everyone? I mean, you're already "a couple", right???
So, even though I know Madison didn't write this, she shouldn't have told the secret, but WHY WAS IT A SECRET IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Um, duh. Egg told everyone. Big surprise.

Madison thinks it might be Chet, then feels bad and insists they shouldn't do anything.
Why would Chet do that...AND use Madison's scrnnme? Confused.

Madison wants to know if Dan ever made up a fake screenname for himself.
Who hasn't?? No offense, Maddie, but MadFinn kind of sucks.

Aimee has a secret, too! She might get a lead in the next ballet production!
$100 it'll be on The Wall tomorrow.

Madison's gym shorts are sort of tight and Ivy makes fun of them.
I thought tight things were in?? Ivy's just jealous.

Hehehe, Madison gets paired up with Ivy for volleyball.
Ivy: I despise volleyball.
That makes two of us.
Madison: You just despise everything and everyone.
Heheheheheh.

Madison finds a bulletin about Aimee on the wall...supposedly posted by herself. Instead of calling Aimee about it, she retreats to her files to be emo???
Whatever. Aimee will be calling to yell at you in like 2 minutes anyway.

Aimee and Madison have a fight. Aimee drags up stuff from the past, about all the times Madison has lied (she's only lied once). Aimee sort of sucks.

Lol.
As Aimee's leaving, she turns around and screams, "THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!"

Egg thinks Fiona is stupid for being mad at Madison.
Go Egg!

Ivy gets "gravity" and "relativity" mixed up.
.....

Heh. Ivy and Madison have to do a science project together...and Madison makes Ivy do all the work. Payback.

Ivy: What did you find in the back?
Madison: No much. We should do more research upstairs in the media center, thought. Can you go look after school?
Ivy: Me? Why don't you go look after school.
Madison: I have an after-school conflict today.
Ivy: Well, I have a conflict, too. Like, I don't do science work after school. That's my conflict.
Madison: Maybe we should each write our own paper. I can ask Mr. Danehy if we can split-
Ivy: NO! Okay, I'll look in the media center. Don't throw a hissy about it. Gosh, you always overreact. What a drama queen.
GO MADISON!!

Mr. Danehy gives Ivy an F!!
Today is not Ivy's day.

Ugh, I hate it when people read over my shoulder!!!
Lance is a creepy kid.

Mrs. Wing brings her baby Phoebe to school.

Lance: My cousin had a big, fatso baby. He was so huge, he looked like he was stuffed.
Thanks, Lance.

Boys like babies, too.

It seems like Bigwheels is always either sick or grounded.
"SORRY I wasn't on my computer, but I was SICK and GROUNDED at the SAME TIME."

"Friends are forever, boys are whatever!"
What if all your friends are boys??

Madison wants revenge.
Noooo, don't do it, Madison! Revenge is never the answer!!

Madison writes a post about Ivy.
Posted by: MF13
Date: 11 Nov
Message: More big newz @ FHJH this time its I.D. in trouble wow is she ever. The WITCH is failing science. Yeah I.D. begged Mr. D. to pass her but he said no way so now the school is planning to EXPEL her...it is soooo bad Not only that but I heard that NO other school in the district wants to accept her b/c she has no real friends n e way LOL in fact there r no guys who will even look @ her b/c she dresses

That's as far as she gets before she accidentally publishes it.
Okay, who would even believe that? The part about having no friends and being a slut is pretty mean, but she wouldn't get EXPELLED for failing science.
Duh. Summer school.

Madison has become a pathological liar.

The bulletin won't be removed for 24 hours.
You sort of deserve it, Madison.
Revenge is never the answer.

"Now...Ivy will probably read what I posted and...she'll hate me forever and..."
"Wait just a minute, Maddie. I thought you and Ivy weren't friends anymore anyway."
Yeah!! What do you care what she thinks??
Shouldn't you be more worried about hurting her feelings than how she'll think of you? Because I'm pretty sure she already hates you.

Madison: Why are parents always right? And why am I always wrong?
Trust me, honey. Parents are NOT always right.

Lol, her dad is so delightfully evil.
"You're kidding! Oh, Maddie, you are most definitely going to tell your mother everything, from the beinning. We had a deal."
That's like on "Dan in Real Life".
"So Marty can stay?"
"*hysterical laughter* Marty can STAY???"

Madison can never go on The Wall again.
She is officially Off the Wall (that's where the title comes in).
Wait, MF13 is the one who's not allowed on the wall.
Madison could just create a new screename and go on whenever she wanted.

WtH???????
Lindsay, Aimee, and Fiona came over to apologize.
Why the sudden epiphany??
And why is Lindsay apologizing, too???
Madison had nothing to do with her Fat Camp thing!!! Lindsay probably didn't even know about the whole fight until now.
WHAT IS SHE DOING THERE??

It turns out Ivy told Hart she was MF13, and Hart told Chet who told Fiona.

Boys aren't the only shallow ones.
Such as girl on basketball team??
"Lauren, you'd be really pretty if you did this to your hair."
Um...thanks.

NICE!!! Madison's mom took away her laptop and is keeping it under lock and key in her desk drawer!!! Madison can only use it for one hour each day to check her e-mail!!
Finally! Good parenting!

Madison is super mean to Lance...even if he is a nerd.
Madison: I'm outta here.
Lance: But I just got here.
Madison: So? See you in class tomorrow.
Duh, Lance, you're the reason she's leaving.

Ivy: I'm never going to forget, you know.
Madison: Elephants never forget.
Ivy: Who are you calling.... OOOOOH! You think you're sooooo smart, don't you?
Madison just smiles and walks away.
The one time turning the other cheek actually WORKED.

Bigwheels is grounded because she told some kids a scary story.
Whatever. I bet it was the one about the finger.

Ew, I hate youngest children.

Madison's Computer Tip:
Beware of online gossip.

Truer words were never spoken.
I just read the last 2 Pony Pals books, and they were surprisingly enjoyable and kind of sad. Lulu's dad SUCKS; he's probably the worst father ever. So does Mrs. Crandal. It's like good parents don't EXIST in Wiggins. But that's all tomorrow; I have stuff to do.

The world is divided into two kinds of people, or Pony Pals #13: The Girl Who Hated Ponies

Lulu is a very AWFUL person. That's all I have to say. Btw, the picture shows the cover in the wrong color. The copy I have is periwinkle, not rusty brown.



Plot: Mr. Sanders forgets that Lulu is an antisocial freak and decides to let his bosses daughter Melissa (or something like that) hang with Lulu and the Pony Pals. FOR A WHOLE WEEKEND. WITHOUT ADULT SUPERVISION. Okay, not really, but he's basically leaving Lulu and his friend's kid on their own.
Oh no, Melissa doesn't like PONIES!!!! *gasp* She likes makeoevers and beauty parlors and wears dangly earrings, so Lulu writes her off as a jerk and is mean to her.
They all go to Pam's house. Melissa doesn't want to go riding, so the Pony Pals give her the glare of death. They try to introduce her to their ponies, but Melissa seems to be scared of them??? IS IT POSSIBLY BECAUSE OF A TRAUMATIC EVENT WHEN SHE WAS 5???
Finally, they convince Melissa to go riding with them, but she agrees to go only if she can give them all makeovers when they get back. Ew. Not.
Oh no, a blizzard! The Pony Pals get trapped with Melissa in a wooden shelter that magically popped out of the ground. Melissa then admits that she was once trapped in a stall with a horse and has since then been scared out of her pants by horses. Then she apologizes for being such a BRAT. Um, yeah, Pony Pals, don't you think YOU need to give her an apology TOO?
But no. Magically, the snow stops and they can go outside again! Then they are rescued by Mr. Crandal and they all go home.
But Melissa has not forgotten about the makeovers....
At the diner the next morning, Melissa decides that the thing she REALLY wants to do is give the PONIES makeovers. So they do that. And Melissa is in love with Snow White. Because everyone looooooves Snow White. Yeah. That's IT.

More notes:
"We're going to spend the whole weekend riding with our Pony Pals." Don't you do that EVERY weekend?

I thought Mr. Sanders was studying BLACK bears, but he's going to a conference on BROWN bears. And he STILL looks like George Lopez.

Oh, because Lulu likes ponies, and Melissa's parents like ponies, and the Pony Pals like ponies, MELISSA must LOVE ponies.

Lulu is HORRIBLE at making friends, seeing as she only has 2 since moving to Wiggins. Why does Mr. Sanders think this is a good idea?

Melissa is wearing a black skirt (looks like a dress on the cover), lace-up leather boots (combat boots???), and a red jacket...OH, and a beret, which they failed to mention. Who wears berets?

Melissa is wearing dangly earrings. What is the signifigance of dangly earrings? Lulu makes a HUGE deal about it.

Okay, the Princes live in New York City...so they drive down to Conecticut to pick up Mr. Sanders and drop off Melissa...and now they're going to Maine. Yeah, not out of the way at all.

Mr. Sanders' first name is TOM???

OH NO, MELISSA HAS A NEW MANICURE KIT THAT HAS NAIL POLISH AND GOLD SPARKLES! DEMON!!! Seriously, even horse freaks like to look semi-feminine some of the time.

Since when does Grandma Sandy give manicures? My bad, Grandmother Sanders.

They leave Melissa with Grandma Sandy and talk about her behind her back? Such jerks.

We never find out how Lulu's mammy died.

ANNA LOOKS JUST LIKE CASPIAN FROM THE "CHRONICLES OF NARNIA" BBC MOVIE!!!

Bad grammar. "Melissa come over here." Where's the comma, eh?

They're confused as to why Melissa hates stepping in horse crap.

They're trying to force Melissa to become a Pony Pal.

Wait, for serious? All Melissa's suitcase holds is a manicure kit, makeup, a nightgown, a "very pretty dress", and a fluffy pink bathrobe. Whaaaaaat?

I swear, brownies and spaghetti are the only things the Pony Pals ever eat.

How did they know Melissa was from New York? It's not MENTIONED for 20 pages.

Melissa hates Snow White, too.

Oh no, it referenced THE CIRCUS. Acorn's not really that talented. He can shake and nod his head and go in a circle.

I wrote a lot when I was little, too!

Horses are beautiful and wonderful. Thank you, Lulu.

Aaargh, poop is a bad word!!! Dang it! SAY POOP! SAY IT!

Melissa: Anna, I think a different hairstyle would make you look older.
Anna: Why would I want to look older?
Well, let's see, you look like you're 5?

"You'll be known as the Pretty Pals instead of the Pony Pals." OMG!! I don't think Melissa meant to insult them, but she TOTALLY DID. Wait...I think she meant to. BOOYA, I love this girl.

SPLASH IS BACK FROM #6!!!

Ew, who eats muffins hot?

Heh, manipulation on both sides. Cat fight!

Splash actually looks like an Appaloosa!

Now you know how it feels, Anna. (See #9)

Lulu doesn't have the guts to say, "Snow White behaves a lot better than you do." Honestly, I can't stick up for Melissa any more. She's just as bad as the Pony Pals. I probably would've strangled her by now.

But Melissa isn't stupid, and Lulu's all surprised to see that Splash is really a problem pony. Dummy.

Yeah, yelling during a trail ride. Good idea. Spook the ponies a little.

Melissa just acknowledged Wiggins' lack of pizza places.

Maybe Snow White doesn't like snow because the last time it snowed, she got lost in a blizzard and fell in an icy hole while she had SHINGLES.

See, told you.

Tommy Rand = serial killer. He either finds a dead snake or kills one, but then he wraps it around Pam's neck. Dang. That really sucks. Now she's all phobic of snakes.

Lulu has a Rihanna haircut in one picture.

Whatever. Melissa's encounter with a scary horse isn't that scary to me. If it had been me I would've been so thrilled. Cuz I was a Pony Pal and a freak when I was little.

To pass the time, Melissa teaches them a line dance. How...? No what, never mind.

I'm shocked that Lulu even owns a pair of long underwear. Pam totally looks like Nicole from the basketball team.

The Crandals own their own ranch, a billion ponies, a huge house, their own medical practice, and a snowmobile. They haven't said it, but I think the Crandals are rich.

Wiggins is so much more exciting than boring old New York City! Not.

"Can I bring them a treat?" Shouldn't it be, "Can I take them a treat?"

They want to trim Acorn's whiskers and earhair? You have to do that?

Mmm, delicious, yogurt with bananas and strawberries. Sorry, I'm a picky eater.

Where'd the baseball cap come from? First a beret, now a baseball cap? Confused.

Melissa looks just like Emily Osment in the last picture.

That was dumb, but it didn't anger me as much as it did others. Lulu reminds me of myself sometimes. Ouch. The truth hurts. I'll go cry in a corner.
Tomorrow: The one about Mimi and Tongo (#14) or hopefully "Circus Pony"!