Way to give away the end, or FTFO Madison Finn #15: Off the Wall

Don't you hate it when the library has every book in a series...
...except the one you need???
I'm trying to find a stupid picture of this book, and my library site, of course, doesn't have this one.
You know what sucks? I ordered a BUNCH of Madison Finns that I've never read, and I'm not going to be able to read them, because I'm trying to do this in series order!!! Aaargh!



Plot: Something is very, very wrong in Far Hills. Madison's favorite teacher, Mrs. Wing, has gone missing!!! She and her husband have just up and left, without leaving a note or anything!
Madison is worrieder than worried.
If that wasn't enough, Aimee's dog Blossom is about to have puppies...with another bassett hound! See, Madison and Aimee made a pact in fourth grade that had something to do with Phin and Blossom having puppies together. It appears Aimee has broken the pact!!
To get her mind off things, Madison checks out a web Egg reccomended to her called "The Wall". The Wall is full of juicy gossip, AKA heaven for 7th grade girls.
Oh no! Someone starts posting nasty things about Madison's friends...and it looks like Madison is to blame! Will Fiona, Aimee, and Lindsay ever talk to her again?
After a little bit of digging, Madison finds out the culprit is none other than Ivy herself (saw it coming).
To get back at the fiend, she writes a very nasty message about Ivy and posts it on The Wall.
Afterwards, she is racked with guilt and tells her parents everything.
They help her take down the message...and then ground her and take away her computer for a month.
OUCH.
Fiona, Aimee, and Lindsay apologize to Madison for not believing her, and everything is rosy once more.
Oh yeah, Madison forgets about the puppies, and Mrs. Wing, it turns out, left to adopt a baby!! Yay!! Sunshine and flowers!!

More notes:
Why are school computers always so slow?

Lance has a crush on Madison, but she is repulsed by his nose-picking and cheerful, "Howdy"s.

The new computer substitute is cool, lol.
"Holy cow! It took me a century to find you cats."

Mrs. Wing leaves Madison in charge...because she's the class expert.
How embarrassingly flattering.

Egg: Get out of here. I would whomp you.
"Whomp" you?? Wth?? Who says that?

Madison and Aimee "enjoy" watching Fiona and Chet's fights.
Enjoy??? What's to enjoy? Those are so awkward!

There is no way boys gossip more than girls.
But they do gossip quite a bit.

Egg sings The Wall's praises, because there aren't any moderators.
RED FLAG! RED FLAG!

There are a buttload of rules that nobody's going to follow WITHOUT MODERATORS.

Aimee IMs Maddie to tell her about the puppies.
But when they get to the part about there being a dad OTHER than Phin, Madison just signs off.
That's always nice.

Madison is such a drama queen! "My best friend has betrayed me."
They're just puppies! And it's not like you shook on the whole puppy plan.
Yeah, the whole "puppy plan" consisted of a bunch of jokes on how ugly Blossom and Phin's puppies would be.

SHE EVEN ADMITS IT! "It was like a dream of mine. I know we didn't make a formal pact or anything, but isn't a friend's word supposed to count for something?"

Dude, I looked these kinds of puppies up online, and they're adorable!!! Just go online and look up "Bassugg puppies".

Dan: Maddie! I'm so glad you're here. I could use your help big-time.
Madison: I'm glad you're here, too. It's been a bad day. I need cheering up.
Dan: Try cleaning up dog poop and cat poop. That'll cheer you up real fast.
Oh, Dan, you charmer you.

THe conversation takes an awkward turn when Madison mentions "those naked-looking cats".
Dan: *giggle* Naked?
Madison: *blush of death* So, um, about my problems....

Dan thinks Madison should chill out and not be so mad at Aimee.
He also thinks Dr. Wing and Mrs. Wing ran away together, but hey.

Madison's Dad wants to go out to dinner with Stephanie's nephew Kirk.
Madison thinks Kirk will probably be a dork.
And, of course, he's no Hart Jones.

Madison's Excuses for not dining with Kirk:
I have the walk the dog.
I have to wash my hair.
I have to save the world from an alien attack.
This probably spoils everything, but Kirk, in later books, turns out to be a way cute Kountry Gentleman.
Poor, poor Madison.

Yay, "Number the Stars"! That's one of my favorite books!!

Ivy is so evil!!
Ivy: I don't see what the big deal is. I mean, I didn't really fail the test. I only got a D, you know. Mr. Danehy is such a pain.
Joan: Science is so dumb anyway.
Ivy: And if that stupid twit Madison had just sat differently, I could have cheated off her paper, anyhow. She's such a goody-goody.
Joan: You'll pass science.
Ivy: Who really cares? I can always copy Madison's lab notes anyway. I do it all the time when she isn't looking.

Mrs. Wing adopted a baby...and Madison was the last one to know.
Been there, done that.
Meaning I've been the last to know. No, I haven't adopted a baby recently. The last baby I met yelled, "Poop," at me and threatened to beat me up if I spoke again.

Someone who goes to FHJH writes a post about Mrs. Wing on the wall. Maddie is like, "Nooo, everyone knew before me!!"
Someone replies to the post: So what, who cares?
Yeah, really, who cares? My teachers get pregnant all the time.

Aimee and Fiona are so stupid!!! They both post on a board called "Hotties" using their REAL SCREENNAMES!!! Now everyone will know it's them!
Posted by: BalletGrl
Date: 5 Nov
Message: actually I like this guy Ben but no one really knows so shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I should not have written that
Why would you write it if you didn't want anyone to know???
Posted by: Wetwinz
Date: 5 Nov
Message: of course someone who has been flirting w/me a lot wink wink can u guess who? *G*

Aimee sees the humor in the puppy situation.
Aimee: Maddie! I told you that about the puppies when we were in, like, fourth grade! And besides, my mom and dad are the ones who decide who Blossom will have puppies with, not me. And they want basset hounds, not some mix of pug and...Maddie, can you imagine what Blossom and Phin's babies would really look like?
Uh, yeah...they would be SOOO CUTE!

Fiona: By the way, I heard some big news.
Madison: Yeah, yeah, big news, I know. Mrs. Wing had a baby.
Fiona: Huh? What are you talking about? A baby? She did?
Madison: Wait. You didn't know?
Fiona: MRS. WING HAD A BABY? Oh, wow! This is, like, HUGE news. My news is so little and puny compared to yours. I just found out that the soccer team is moving their practice space. Wow! How did you find about Mrs. Wing?
So it turns out Madison isn't the last one to know, but come on, Fiona!! The soccer team is moving their practice space??? WHAT KIND OF NEWS IS THAT???

Oooh, lucky. Madison's school has free period instead of study hall.

Someone posts a REALLY mean message about Lindsay!!
Posted by: LoVeBuG
Date: Nov 6
Message: there is ms. fatty in my class and she is SOOOO fat that she cant even go 2 regular camp LOL she has to go to FAT CAMP and she walks around with a dumb black haircut & purple backpack that looks like she should be in the first grade LOSER!!! I feel bad 4 her yah right NOT FHJH would be better w/o her :)
That's pretty mean, but I thought Lindsay had light brown hair. She even has some on the cover.

Lindsay now wants all of her friends to stop going on the site.
It may be disloyal, but...
...I'd probably keep going on The Wall if I were Madison.
Which she does.

Lindsay: I bet it was the guys. I know they make fun of me because I'm overweight. I heard them once.
Madison: You did?
Lindsay: Yeah. I heard Hart and Chet talking once about who was the prettiest in our class.
Madison: Hart and Chet?
Fiona: What did they say, exactly? My brother is such a geek. Don't listen to him!
Lindsay: I don't remember everyone they were talking about, but I do know they said Ivy was the hottest girl and that some other girls were okay but some were too fat, like me and Beth Sanders.
[!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS SO MEAN!!! Proof that guys suck.]
Fiona: Well, Lindsay. Beth Sanders is fat. She's huge. She takes up two seats at lunch. You're not fat like that.
[I lied, girls suck, too. ESPECIALLY FIONA.]
Madison: That's not the point, guys.
Thank you, Madison.

Lol.
"Madison knew the truth. They would all huff and puff and complain about how terrible it was to post gossip. And then they'd each go home that very night and check the next postings on the gossip page - just in case something interesting came up."

Some people just suck at math. Video games have nothing to do with that.

Madison's Dad reads the Lindsay post outloud, and it sounds kind of funny when he says it.
"What does that text say? 'Fat camp'? 'Looks like she should be in the first grade LOSER'? What is this? This isn't an e-mail from one of your friends, is it?"

Dad thinks girls are meaner than boys.
So true.

Fiona has big news!!!
Fiona: Okay, so he finally, really asked me.
Madison: Asked you? What? Who?"
Fiona: Egg! He asked me out. For real.
Madison: He asked you out? He said those exact words.
Fiona: He wants to go to the movies next week. Can you believe it? I know we're sort of a 'couple', but this really makes a difference
AARGH, NO!! You're not officially a "couple" until he asks you out.
Otherwise, he's just playing you.
I can't believe it's been this long and he JUST NOW asked her out.
Egg's a playa....

Whoa, Madison stands up to Ivy in this one! And it's really funny!
Madison: You obviously don't know the meaning of the word homework, Ivy. It means you actually have to do work, at home.
Ivy: Well, YOU obviously don't understand what it means to be partners, Madison. It means that occasionally you show me your notes. I would do the exact same for you.
Madison: Yeah. If you ever took notes.
Ivy: Excuse me?
Madison: Look, Ivy, I have to go. Why don't you just ask Mr. Danehy for help?
PWNED!!

Why is Fiona so overdramatic??
Fiona: Maddie, I can't believe you!
Madison: What happened?
Fiona: You promised you wouldn't tell!!
Madison: Fiona...
Fiona: I thought you were my friend. How could you?
Madison: Please tell me what's wrong.
Fiona: Why don't you read The Wall? You'll see what I'm talking about, Maddie. You'll see.

Posted by: MF13
Date: 8 Nov
Message: some secrets r way 2 hard 2 keep even about my friends F.W. sez its all god but she and W.D. probably want to hook up @ the movies next week I know it what a j-o-k-e they are so NOT innocent :)
:O Okay, "Madison" basically called Fiona a slut, but Fiona seems more mad that "Madison" told her secret.
Yeah, you should keep your friends' secrets, but what's secret about being asked out?? Wouldn't you be happy? Wouldn't you WANT to share the news with everyone? I mean, you're already "a couple", right???
So, even though I know Madison didn't write this, she shouldn't have told the secret, but WHY WAS IT A SECRET IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Um, duh. Egg told everyone. Big surprise.

Madison thinks it might be Chet, then feels bad and insists they shouldn't do anything.
Why would Chet do that...AND use Madison's scrnnme? Confused.

Madison wants to know if Dan ever made up a fake screenname for himself.
Who hasn't?? No offense, Maddie, but MadFinn kind of sucks.

Aimee has a secret, too! She might get a lead in the next ballet production!
$100 it'll be on The Wall tomorrow.

Madison's gym shorts are sort of tight and Ivy makes fun of them.
I thought tight things were in?? Ivy's just jealous.

Hehehe, Madison gets paired up with Ivy for volleyball.
Ivy: I despise volleyball.
That makes two of us.
Madison: You just despise everything and everyone.
Heheheheheh.

Madison finds a bulletin about Aimee on the wall...supposedly posted by herself. Instead of calling Aimee about it, she retreats to her files to be emo???
Whatever. Aimee will be calling to yell at you in like 2 minutes anyway.

Aimee and Madison have a fight. Aimee drags up stuff from the past, about all the times Madison has lied (she's only lied once). Aimee sort of sucks.

Lol.
As Aimee's leaving, she turns around and screams, "THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!"

Egg thinks Fiona is stupid for being mad at Madison.
Go Egg!

Ivy gets "gravity" and "relativity" mixed up.
.....

Heh. Ivy and Madison have to do a science project together...and Madison makes Ivy do all the work. Payback.

Ivy: What did you find in the back?
Madison: No much. We should do more research upstairs in the media center, thought. Can you go look after school?
Ivy: Me? Why don't you go look after school.
Madison: I have an after-school conflict today.
Ivy: Well, I have a conflict, too. Like, I don't do science work after school. That's my conflict.
Madison: Maybe we should each write our own paper. I can ask Mr. Danehy if we can split-
Ivy: NO! Okay, I'll look in the media center. Don't throw a hissy about it. Gosh, you always overreact. What a drama queen.
GO MADISON!!

Mr. Danehy gives Ivy an F!!
Today is not Ivy's day.

Ugh, I hate it when people read over my shoulder!!!
Lance is a creepy kid.

Mrs. Wing brings her baby Phoebe to school.

Lance: My cousin had a big, fatso baby. He was so huge, he looked like he was stuffed.
Thanks, Lance.

Boys like babies, too.

It seems like Bigwheels is always either sick or grounded.
"SORRY I wasn't on my computer, but I was SICK and GROUNDED at the SAME TIME."

"Friends are forever, boys are whatever!"
What if all your friends are boys??

Madison wants revenge.
Noooo, don't do it, Madison! Revenge is never the answer!!

Madison writes a post about Ivy.
Posted by: MF13
Date: 11 Nov
Message: More big newz @ FHJH this time its I.D. in trouble wow is she ever. The WITCH is failing science. Yeah I.D. begged Mr. D. to pass her but he said no way so now the school is planning to EXPEL her...it is soooo bad Not only that but I heard that NO other school in the district wants to accept her b/c she has no real friends n e way LOL in fact there r no guys who will even look @ her b/c she dresses

That's as far as she gets before she accidentally publishes it.
Okay, who would even believe that? The part about having no friends and being a slut is pretty mean, but she wouldn't get EXPELLED for failing science.
Duh. Summer school.

Madison has become a pathological liar.

The bulletin won't be removed for 24 hours.
You sort of deserve it, Madison.
Revenge is never the answer.

"Now...Ivy will probably read what I posted and...she'll hate me forever and..."
"Wait just a minute, Maddie. I thought you and Ivy weren't friends anymore anyway."
Yeah!! What do you care what she thinks??
Shouldn't you be more worried about hurting her feelings than how she'll think of you? Because I'm pretty sure she already hates you.

Madison: Why are parents always right? And why am I always wrong?
Trust me, honey. Parents are NOT always right.

Lol, her dad is so delightfully evil.
"You're kidding! Oh, Maddie, you are most definitely going to tell your mother everything, from the beinning. We had a deal."
That's like on "Dan in Real Life".
"So Marty can stay?"
"*hysterical laughter* Marty can STAY???"

Madison can never go on The Wall again.
She is officially Off the Wall (that's where the title comes in).
Wait, MF13 is the one who's not allowed on the wall.
Madison could just create a new screename and go on whenever she wanted.

WtH???????
Lindsay, Aimee, and Fiona came over to apologize.
Why the sudden epiphany??
And why is Lindsay apologizing, too???
Madison had nothing to do with her Fat Camp thing!!! Lindsay probably didn't even know about the whole fight until now.
WHAT IS SHE DOING THERE??

It turns out Ivy told Hart she was MF13, and Hart told Chet who told Fiona.

Boys aren't the only shallow ones.
Such as girl on basketball team??
"Lauren, you'd be really pretty if you did this to your hair."
Um...thanks.

NICE!!! Madison's mom took away her laptop and is keeping it under lock and key in her desk drawer!!! Madison can only use it for one hour each day to check her e-mail!!
Finally! Good parenting!

Madison is super mean to Lance...even if he is a nerd.
Madison: I'm outta here.
Lance: But I just got here.
Madison: So? See you in class tomorrow.
Duh, Lance, you're the reason she's leaving.

Ivy: I'm never going to forget, you know.
Madison: Elephants never forget.
Ivy: Who are you calling.... OOOOOH! You think you're sooooo smart, don't you?
Madison just smiles and walks away.
The one time turning the other cheek actually WORKED.

Bigwheels is grounded because she told some kids a scary story.
Whatever. I bet it was the one about the finger.

Ew, I hate youngest children.

Madison's Computer Tip:
Beware of online gossip.

Truer words were never spoken.
I just read the last 2 Pony Pals books, and they were surprisingly enjoyable and kind of sad. Lulu's dad SUCKS; he's probably the worst father ever. So does Mrs. Crandal. It's like good parents don't EXIST in Wiggins. But that's all tomorrow; I have stuff to do.

As soon as I get a boyfriend, they're making me leave, or FTFO Madison Finn #9: Just Visiting

Ooh, a Madison Finn adventure purely about boys!! Well, that, and vacations, and 4th of July, and grandparents, and friend withdrawal, but other than that....



Plot: It's summer and Madison has so many plans she doesn't even remember them all. What she's most looking forward to is the Far Hills Independence Day Extravaganza, where Hart will be....
Then her mom drops the bomb: Madison won't be spending her summer in Far Hills. She'll be spending it with her grandma, because her mom has to work and no one else wants her in their house. Bummer.
So they fly on over to Winnetka: Madison, Fran, and Phin. Fran drops Madison and Phin off with Gramma Helen and leaves for California. Gramma Helen turns out to be a lot of fun, because Madison can go on her laptop whenever she wants and there's always cool things to do.
Also, Helen's best friend has a grandson Madison's age...and he's cute. His name is Mark and Madison is in love. What about Hart? Oh well.
Madison and Mark spend a lot of time together. Stuff happens. Romance blooms. How adorable. Mark asks Madison to the big 4th of July celebration...and Madison says NO!!
She had the feeling Gramma Helen needed her or would get lonely or something, so she turned down a once in a lifetime oppurtunity. Mark is crushed.
Thank God for meddling grandmas! The grandmas insist that the two "young people" go out together anyway.
So they do. On 4th of July, Madison and Mark ride rides, run around in a maze, eat fatty fried foods (ugh, alliteration), and watch fireworks together. Then Mark kisses Maddie!!
Then he has to leave the next day. The two say goodbye and promise to keep in touch. Madison gives Mark a homemade collage a goodbye present. How...sweet.
Madison goes back home and everyone missed her, even though they insist she missed the best 4th of July ever. Best of all: There had been rumors circling that Hart would go to the extravaganza with Ivy, but he ditched her. Sucks for Ivy...but not for Madison. It appears she likes Hart again. What about Mark??
We'll find out later.

More notes:
Aaargh. My house doesn't have air conditioning either.

Bigwheels is going on a road trip through the West Coast. That's cool...except for the road trip part.

What the heck? Aimee's family can't take her, her dad is busy...call Fiona's mom!! Why would you call her grandma BEFORE you call any of her other friends? That's so mean. She's either racist or she wants Madison to miss 4th of July.

"I know she isn't ruining your Fourth of July on purpose." Are you sure???

Ooh, an extravaganza!!! Sounds...extravagant!

They see Aimee at Freeze Palace. She admits she's pigging out. Trying out bulimia this time?

"Meet me in BFFLAND and hurry." I'm sorry, but that sounds really funny.

: I could ask my mom if u can stay w/us
: no, that's ok my gramma thinks I'm coming now so I have to go she'll be sad if I don't
SHE DIDN'T ASK HER!!! Fran Finn, you stupid ho.

Lindsay, Lindsay. Always the odd man out, with your kayak.

Madison starts freaking out because Hart is splashing her. Why'd you go to the lake wearing a swimsuit if you didn't want to get wet?

I'm really not getting why Madison is so mad. Partly because she lost her favorite hairclip, I guess. Shut up, I'm not joking.

Drew is very adorable and considerate and not stalker in this one.

But he's still really obvious.

"Madison had a sudden vision of Ivy crashing into the net, into the sand, and losing her top in front of the entire world - only to slink away in shame...."
Did you want to see Ivy's humiliation...or did you want to see Ivy without a top?

Hart tells Madison he likes her T-shirt and Madison starts babbling about the sun drying it out for like 5 minutes.

Awww...Hart found Maddie's hair clip.

Fran: I met the first boy I ever liked - really liked - up at that lake house. His name was Ethan Randall. He was so cute. Well...Ethan Randall was the cutest boy I ever met. And he was so nice, too. We went for walks. We swam together in the lake up there. When I was thirteen, I had my best summer ever.
Madison: You did? What happened?
Fran: *blush of death*
They so had sex.

Gramma Helen goes grocery shopping and gets whatever Madison wants. Yay, I love grandparents.

Madison's mom set her hair on fire?

Aw, Hart sends her an e-mail. Soo cute.

Oh no, a cute boy took out the garbage and saw me!!! TRAUMA!!

Madison obsesses over her outfit, and all they're doing is going to the supermarket. Lol, I know the feeling well.

Oh no, they meet Mark in town!!!

Madison goes to the beach and meets a girl named PAM. Hmmm.... You should ask her about ponies, Madison, and see what she does.

Madison fakes sick to get out of meeting Mark.

So her grandmother brings Mark and his grandma over to HER house for lunch. Pwned.

Why did this boy make her so nervous? Hm, he's hot?

HA!! Madison thinks being 14 makes you mature. ROFL!!! I'm so proof against that statement.

Whatever. Older boys are overrated.

: Yeah and Sasha is wicked experienced too w/boys - she has done a lot I was surprised when she told me
:O Like WHAT?? Well, duh, I can guess, but knowing Madison Finn, "experience" probably refers to holding hands. Omg, Sasha's held hands with 20 boys and kissed 4 of them!!

Oh no, Hart is going on a date with Ivy! I would be crying so hard at this point. You're so strong, Maddie.

Madison reminisces about her grandpa, and it made me really sad. I miss my grandpa, too. Only mine isn't dead, he just lives on the other side of the country.

Madison makes Mark a collage to show her "appreciation" or something. *rolls eyes*

OMG Mark catches Madison sitting on the lawn in her pajamas. That sucks.

But he doesn't care how she dresses. That's so adorable.

Mark stutters.
"It doesn't have to be a big deal. I mean, I didn't mean to make a big d-d-deal out of it...."

"She wanted to scream, 'YES, OF COURSE I WILL GO WITH YOU!'"
Girls should be allowed to scream that from time to time without receiving weird looks.

SHE TURNS HIM DOWN!!
"Well, I would love to go with you, but I really think I should spend the Fourth of July with my gramma Helen. I came here to visit her, after all. It seems funny to go to the fireworks without her. Don't you agree?"

Dude, I love Maddie's grandma. "Tell him you've changed your mind." "I can't do that." "Then tell him at dinner. I invited him over."

Yay, Bigwheels sends a survey!!! I love these!! Bigwheels and I would pretty much be best friends.
Name: Victoria
Nickname: Vicki
Home: Washington State
Favorite color: Blue
Hobbies: Computers, reading
Lucky number: 8
Pets: Nope
Brothers and sisters: 1 sister + 1 brother
Favorite subject: English
I want to travel to...: Visit Madison!
Best Friend: My keypal Madison!

That's actually a pretty boring survey.

Aaargh, Mark is such an idiot.
Mark: You don't have to stay around here. If you want to be with your grandmother.
Madison: Well, no I don't. But I want to.
Wait, what??
Mark: Huh?
Madison: I want to be here. I-I mean, if you're okay with that.
Mark: Well, I'm okay.
Being considerate doesn't mean...aargh, never mind.

Mark thinks she's REALLY NICE. Hee.

Oh, but he insults her, and says he prefers going on rides alone.

Even his burps are cute! Madison's words, not mine.

She sits in Mark's lap. He's all, "Ooooh."

Whoa, Mark kissed Madison??? That's pretty intense.

What, Fiona and Aimee have already been kissed? Fiona, yeah, but Aimee? Since when?? Your brother doesn't count, Aimee.

"You know what? I think he likes you, Maddie. You can tell by the way he looks at you."
Gee, and by the way he stuck her tongue in his mouth last night.

They spend his last day on the beach together.

Who doesn't have e-mail?

Mark's in computer club???

Ha ha. Present envy.

Hart DIDN'T go out with Ivy!! Mark, who?

Madison's Computer Tip:
E-mail keeps me close to my BFFs, Mom and Dad, and even NEW friends when I go away.

How nice. I have an Avalon I have to read, then a Unicorns of Balinor, and then a CHRISTMAS-themed Madison Finn. Yeah, excellent timing, right? Not. :P

I'm so busy, but I have no extracurriculars, or FTFO Madison Finn #7: Save the Date

Wow, long title.



Plot: As usual, Madison Finn has a lot on her plate. First of all, a crazy rainstorm caused her roof to leak...INSIDE HER ROOM!!! Even worse, Mom starts flirting with the Fix-It guy!!! Then comes the discovery of lost assignments, permission slips, and drugs (yeah right) in Madison's backpack. Oh, and she feels angry and pubescent and she doesn't know why, so she takes it out on people she likes. Angst, angst.
The plot's actually sort of stupid. The boys in Maddie's science class start acting TOTALLY immature (um, yeah, your point), and then the science teacher splits them into groups on the class field trip: boys versus girls!!! This puts Ivy and Madison on the same side!! :O Basically it's a lot of, "Oh no, I have to be friends with Ivy," and, "Boys are so stupid," so we will skip ahead to the field trip.
On the nature field trip, Madison and Egg get in a fight, and it's way retarded, and boys are just soooo stupid, but then Fiona gets stung by a bee. Normally that wouldn't be a big deal, but it turns out she's ALLERGIC to bees. This brings the Battle of the Sexes to an end, I guess?
So Madison gets home and receives an e-mail from Chet, Fiona's twin brother, where he admits he skipped out on the duck pond and needs information to complete his assignment. Madison thinks this is just hilarious and is all set to tell Aimee and Fiona...when she realizes they don't really care. They're not in her science class, after all. So she tells IVY. That's right, Poison Ivy. Ivy tells her to give Chet some bogus information to make him look like an idiot. Madison does it.
On the day of presentation, Hart and Chet do indeed look like idiots. And Madison and Ivy never speak again.

More notes:
Aimee: I think we should blow off homework and have a beauty night. At least before we eat dinner.
Madison: I have an English paper to write.
Aimee: But this will be more fun.
Madison: I guess you're right.
Way to go Madison. I'll be here when you fail that class.

Another book where lying is condoned.

"The Dickson Fix-It guy had finally arrived, with his gray hair and clothes drenched from the rain. His shirt read William on the pocket in red embroidered letters. When he smiled, Madison saw a huge gap between his front teeth."
Ewwww. Madison's mom thinks he's HOT.

"Please...call me Frannie." Desperate much?

Foreshadowing of Aimee's eating disorder.

"They had store-bought brownies for dessert, but Aimee only ate a corner of one."
Because she's anorexic.

Madison's password is 8 letters. I bet it's, "I luv Hart." I swear, I would bet a million bucks.

They're scanning the usernames in a chat room and one of them is Luckyduck. Wth, I'm in there??

Mr. Danehy comes in and asks what all the ruckus is about. Lol. He sounded very Snapelike when he said it. "WHAT IS ALL THIS RUMPUS!?" "Petrificus poopulous!"

Yay, oblivious science teacher!

How is it discriminatory that Mr. Danehy split the class into guys and girls??

Lol, Aimee. "Omg, I didn't think of that! We have to be bus buddies!"

Why does Fiona always feel the need to smile coyly at Egg and say something in a retarded sounding voice? "Sorry, Egg, but... *coyness*"

Madison wants to study Madonna for her woman's history paper.

I remember when school's had sociology as a class. Okay, not really, cuz that was in the 80's, but I've read Caroline B. Cooney books about it, lol.

Ugh, Lindsay Frost starts hitting on Hart. "Lindsay kept tossing her hair to one side, even though it wasn't long. Madison could tell that Lindsay thought Hart was cute, too."

Wth, Madison is suddenly all mean to Hart. "Whatever, I have to leave."

The boys in these books are really retarded. Actually, boys in general are retarded.
Egg: my old name Eggaway stinx so frm now on change ur mailbox to TheEggMan. C u bye.
Dan: Yo! whassup with our scrn names now they are like the same! Why don't you call yourself EggDrop or maybe Egghead instead LOL. Call me l8r g8r.
And what boy in their right mind would put, "Call me l8r g8r," at the end of an e-mail...to another guy???

HAAA! Madison gets an e-mail with the subject, "XXX Rated." Hm, I wonder what's inside.
"As Gramma Helen always said, 'Curiosity killed the cat.' Madison didn't want any dead cats."

Whaaaa? Bigwheels is on AIM at school. Don't they block that kind of thing?

OH NO! Francine Finn has been on "DATE-O-MAGIC"!

I hate how they say, "Older boys are soooo much more mature," every 5 pages. Because it's not true. Most of the time. Depends on how much older we're talking.

Ew, Madison's mom trashtalks her dad all the time. I hate when my parents do that to each other.

Awww, Maddie and her self-deprecating humor.
"I'm having a crisis, and it has to do with a four-letter word that I'm beginning to detest: D-a-t-e. I wish I could say the crisis about the word date is because three different boys want to ask me out. HA HA HA LOL - that isn't even close."

Yay, outfits! "After three more outfit tests, she finally picked the winning combinaion: faded jeans and an orange Boop-Dee-Doop T-shirt with a panda bear on the front. It even matched her striped socks."
I think I have that shirt. Yeah right, I wish.

Um, WHY IS LINDSAY WEARING OVERALLS AND A FLOPPY HAT???

More Egg and Fionaness. Adorable, I guess???

Ugh, retarded. Egg steals Ivy's nail polish, and passes it around the bus, but Madison gives it back to Ivy, so Egg's all, "YOU TRAITOR!!"

ROFL!!
"But Hart stepped in between the two. 'Give it a rest, Egg,' he said. Then he turned around toward Madison so close, they were nose to nose.
And he smiled."
Wth??? Kind of creepy yet really hilarious.

Ew, 7th grade girls attempting to flirt with 20-something nature guide.

"We'll be traveling through some wooded areas, so please be sure to stay on the trails and beware of poison ivy."
LOL.

Madison sits in duck poop. Noyce.

Aargh, why did I mark every page in this book?

Some guy hits Maddie in the shoulder with a Frisbee, and she's all, "YOU'RE TOAST, EGG! I MEANT IT. THAT GOES FOR ALL BOYS EVERYWHERE!" Wth???

Oh no, now Fiona and Egg are fighting about littering carrots!

"Let's shake a leg, then, shall we?" And with that, he shook a leg.

Lindsay Frost = REALLY freaking annoying.

Ha. Madison's weakness is Hart's hair.

Fiona passes out. Oh the violence.

Ahahahaha, I love Ivy. She has the worst insults ever.
Madison: *bumps into Ivy*
Ivy: WALK MUCH?

Jimmy the hot trial guide: You were so brave today.
Madison: Tanks. I mean, thanks.
Lol.

Hart doesn't like that Madison thinks Jimmy is a hottie. Jealous much?

I like how guys always have to top each other.
Egg: One time I got stung and had to go to the emergency room.
Hart: Well, I got stung by an ENTIRE BEEHIVE.

I say "hola" sometimes and I don't speak Spanish. Never mind. Bigwheels is stupid.

Madison's mom = huge hypocrite.
"I'm not ready to date now, Madison. *phone rings* Hello? Oh, hi Paul!"

Aww, this made me really sad.
Madison: She's going out with someone named Paul.
Dad: Not Paul Pierce from BudgeFilms?
Madison: Yeah, why?
Dad: I always knew he had a thing for your mother.
*tear*

"No one had ever really asked Fiona point-blank if she and Egg were dating. Had they ever held hands? Had they ever kissed?"
No comment.

Hart is such a loser, lol.
"FINNSTER! Going to science?"
"Where did you come from?"
"I was down the hall. But I'm going to science, too."
Um, DUH! You guys have the same CLASS.

Aw, Drew the little stalker is barely in this one!

Madison learns from eavesdropping outside the boys bathroom that EGG LIKES FIONA. Um...yay?

Lol. "Hart Jones is SOOOOOO full of himself. I actually heard him say that some girl in our class really, really likes him. Who do you think it is?"
Um, duh, Maddie, YOU like him.

She gets an e-mail from "Fiona", when in fact the e-mail (Wetwins) is Chet's. It almost fools her.

Whatever, who would believe that there are pirahnas in a DUCK POND??

3 e-mails in 5 minutes isn't a lot, Madison.

Yours till the duck quacks. Aww, how appropriate.
Btw, Bigwheels' real name is VICTORIA. Like you care. But anyways.

Madison: *after Frannie's date with Paul* Where did you go?
Mom: French restaurant. And then we went for a walk.
Madison: A walk? What for?
Mom: *evil grin*
Madison: No way!
And her mom insists that all they did was talk. Whatever.

So awful. Madison tells Chet lies about pirahnas and Joan Kenyon.

Lol, I love the science teacher. "You can swear all you want, Chet, but I do not remember seeing any flesh-eating fish at the nature preserve."

Now Chet and Hart aren't talking to Madison. Ooooooh... Feeling guilty now.

Agh, but Egg tells her THEY DESERVED IT and that she doesn't deserve to feel guilty.

Madison's Computer Tip
BE CAREFUL ABOUT WHAT YOU READ AND RESPOND TO ONLINE.

Okay, maybe some Avalon later today, but I do have other stuff to do, such as...PLAY MY BRAND NEW BASS!!! BOOYA!

A gang of angry Asians???, or FTFO Madison Finn #2: Boy, oh Boy!

Yay! Another Madison Finn! Where Madison discovers that boys aren't icky!

Plot: Madison loves computer class at Far Hills Junior High. Mrs. Wing is the best teacher ever. One day, after catching Madison trying to get online, Mrs. Wing asks her if she'd like to help create the school website. Elections are coming up soon and the students are going to vote online. Madison is so psyched and quickly agrees.
Unnecessary sidenote: Egg and Drew get jealous, so they volunteer to help, too.
Bad news: POISON IVY IS RUNNING FOR CLASS PRESIDENT!!! When Aimee hears the news, she decides to run, too.
Meanwhile, when not at school, Madison is living with the Gillespies because her dad is working and her mom is in France. Yay. Unfortunately, Madison hates the vegetarian food and sleepless nights.
Man, this book is packed with drama. Dad has a new girlfriend, Stephanie!!! And he brings her to Madison's reunion dinner!!! Madison gets all emo and cries herself to sleep.
If that's not enough, Maddie is starting to get a crush on Hart!!! (I love all the exclamation points. Take that, Jeanne Betancourt)
Back to school: Uh oh! Someone vandalizes the website and replaces Aimee's picture with a picture of a gila monster.
Then they replace a picture of Ivy with a picture of a skunk.
Then they take off all the pictures and make it look like Madison is the culprit.
But then Drew saves the day and finds out who has been doing it: turns out Brendan Lo, a friend of one of the other candidates, got jealous of the attention Ivy was receiving and decided to ruin her chances of winning. Didn't work. Now Brendan is suspended, Tommy is eliminated from the race, and the students are voting.
The polls are in! Ivy Daly = 114 votes. Montrell Morris = 111 votes. Aimee Gillespie = 87 votes. Buuuuurn, Ivy wins. Aimee is crushed. Bla.
But at least we learned from the experience. Um, yay, I guess? Madison goes back home, makes up with her dad, and admits to Bigwheels that she has a crush on Hart. The end.

More notes:
School has been in session for two weeks and they're just NOW starting to do things on computers in computer class?

Ew. Egg likes older women. This could make for problems when he's older.

This makes so much sense.
Dim strTemper As String
Const strNormNumbers$ = "0123456789"
Exit Function
End If
End If
OnlyNumericTextInput = strSource
End Function
This is why I hate computers.

Egg wears fleece.

What kind of nature documentary are you going to make in France? One about Camargues, hopefully?

Egg made a sex joke.

Yeah, Fiona, that's hot. "Hey, Walter."

Yes, Drew. People often have to go to classes at school.

Okay, the prettiest, most popular doesn't necessarily ALWAYS WIN. She wins OFTEN, but not always. I'm living proof. And that was way egotistical of me to say.

Lol, Hart. "Your fruit fly is open."

Good flirting, Ivy. :/
"Aren't you Bart Jones?"
"Yeah. I'm Hart Jones. With an H."

Lol. Aimee thinks Egg is ugly, too.

Roger is 23 and he's still living at home? And he likes hanging out with Aimee's friends? SUSPICIOUS MUCH???

Lol, Maddie is addicted to the internet, too.

Lunch ladies are really creeping me out.

Drew just wants to volunteer cuz HE LIKES YOU!!!

Come on, Drew. The question, "Do you like her?" implies more than friendship. "Yeah, I like her, she's nice." "No, he means LIKE her, like her." "What? Well, not exactly." YES OR NO, YES OR NO!!!

Yes, Egg, Hart and fart rhyme. :P

LOL! Aimee's brother Dean only cares about his Camry and hot girls. HE'S NORMAL!!!

I wish I could go out and sit on my roof.

Madison loves surprises. I hate surprises. And how dumb of the dad. If going out to dinner is his special thing with Madison, YOU DON'T BRING YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND!!! Aaargh.

The French restaurant they go to is called "Le Poisson". What the heck. They go to a restaurant called "The Fish".

Madison starts talking about poop at the dinner table. Noice.

Screammeem is a way cool screenname. I'm jealous.

Aimee is such a...such a...well. Yeah.

This brings back memories of Oggy. Whenever he would sleep with me, he'd always lick my feet and then pass out on my lap when I'd try to turn over.

What is the class president going to do about homework? There's NOTHING THEY CAN DO.

Lol. "How do you spell Montrell? W-I-N-N-E-R." How do you spell awesome? L-A-U-R-E-N.

I really hate Aimee.

"I'm sandwhich meat? No wonder boys don't like me." Ouch.

Yay. A sweater with a flower applique.

Lol. Drew. "Oh no. Look! Ivy's a skunk, Maddie." Yaaaaay, Drew.

Madison and Ivy have a fight. Madison starts out knowing she's going to lose. I mean, come on: "Quit it, Ivy. I won't let you scare me." Implying she does scare you? It ends when Madison calls her a rat and Ivy calls her a cow. Then Madison runs away. :P Slut trumps cow.

Drew is officially my favorite character.

I hate gingersnaps.

Aimee: I think I like someone. A little.
Fiona: Is it Hart Jones?
Madison: NO, YOU CAN'T!
Smooth, Maddie.

"I just don't get boys." Me neither, Madison.

I almost started crying when I read about Bigwheels' dead fish. Don't know why.

Here's a peek into Madison's thoughts.
Hart Hart Hart HART hart
Maddie + Hart
Madison Jones

Frittatas is officially the funniest food word ever.

Bigwheels writes good poems.

Brendan Lo. Tommy Kwong. Sounds like a stereotypical group of angry Asians!!!!

Ah yes, Montrell, lie to the populace.
"The school needs to give way less homework and throw pizza parties every Friday."

Montrell loses by 3 votes. Aimee loses by 27. Oooooooh.

Bigwheels: Boys are annoying
MadFinn: us said it!!!
Bigwheels: #1 reason: only think of 1 thing
MadFinn: what
Bigwheels: hookups
LOL! That is so not the number one reason, though.

I love how I can understand ALL the French Mrs. Finn uses in this book.

Yep. That's it. Party on. WHERE ARE THE PONY PALS!!!

Won't you be my neighbor?, or FTFO Madison Finn: Only the Lonely

Yaaaaaay!!! Since Pony Pals are STILL keeping me waiting, I checked out 4 or 5 Madison Finns to keep me going. Heeere we goooooo...


Plot: Almost-7th grader Madison Finn is really lonely. It's summertime and her two best friends are at camp, her mom is always working, and her dad is out of the country. She meets a girl named BigWheels (that's her screenname, not her actual name) and tries to make friends, but BigWheels doesn't seem to want to talk to Maddie! *gasp*
She's bummed (her word, not mine) until she meets *cue sappy music* Fiona Waters, a girl who just moved into the neighborhood. They meet, find out they have a lot in common, and hang out all summer long.
Uh oh. Aimee and Egg, Maddie's friends, are back from camp! But they seem rather....different? Aimee is suddenly bossy and Egg is obsessed with wrestling! Also, they don't seem to like Fiona.
School starts. Madison doesn't have many classes with Aimee or Egg, but she has plenty with her ARCH NEMISIS POISON IVY!!! It also seems Hart Jones, once the bane of her existence, has returned, and he's really hot???
Uh oh! Fiona starts hanging out with Poison Ivy! Maddie doesn't know how to tell her this isn't kosher and starts avoiding her. Fiona is confused, Aimee is mad, and Egg is still stupid.
Finally, at Drew's BBQ, they work it out. Fiona, Aimee, and Maddie are friends forever. BigWheels and MadFinn are keypals. Everyone is happy. The End.

More notes:
I marked like the first 100 pages about Madison's boring summer, but now that I reread them, I can't find anything remotely funny/interesting.

Aaaagh, these books reminded me so much of my 7th grade days, a mere 2 years ago.

Madison makes REALLY funny noises when she's mad

Wow. They have internet perverts in preteen literature.

When you enter a chatroom, how many people actually discuss the chatroom topic? For example, Harry Potter. The people in there NEVER discuss Harry Potter. At least not often.

Awww, sounds like BigWheels has dial-up, too. And she lives in Washington, which is pretty cool.

I'm jealous. Madison lives in New York.

Whoa, she eats takeout practically every night! Lucky.

I want to live on Blueberry Street.

Wow. I have never worn a sweater set or a cardigan. Okay, actually, I've worn both, but not recently.

Lol, this is the best e-mail I've ever seen.
From: Eggaway
To: MadFinn
Subject: hi
Date: Wed, 23 Aug 3:21 PM
Hey Madison, whassup? Hey computer camp rocks so much I don't want 2come back 2 stupid Far Hills! I cant believe 7th grade is here in like a min. Hey anyway I miss yor stupid dog Phin. LOL!!! Is he still FAT? I think you and me should defniteley take that cmpter class together in school by thewaynow that you have this ok talk l8R. Drew says hi BTW. Write back BYE!
ADD much?

Whoa, someone threw an egg at him, so now his name is Egg. Yeah, hilarious. His real name is WALTER.

Smoky green eyes make you a model.

I'm reminded of that "Clifford" episode where Emily Elizabeth couldn't spell monkey: "Monkey. M-O-N-K-Y. Monkey." DON'T ASK WHY!!!

This series is kind of hilariously dumb at times, but they accurately portray puberty; fuzzy legs, lack of boobs, first period (only Madison never gets hers because she is forever frozen in time at the age of 12, like the Pony Pals).

I wish I had a tattoo. Ugh, Aimee is SO annoying.

Wth, being involved with an older guy at 16 is STILL illegal.

Wizard of Oz impressions? Wth?????

Phin almost gets hit by a car.

Madison thinks Mr. Waters sounds like Darth Vader's brother. Racist.

Question mark? Don't most people have computers now? It's like a necessity.

Lol. Friendship quizzes. This reflects my life perfectly.

Don't talk to strangers, Madison.

Lol, she believes in the 11:11 wishing, too!!!

Making Pop Tarts is NOT cooking.

EW!! Fiona thinks Egg is cute. I WILL POST A PICTURE OF HIM, HE IS DEFINITELY NOT CUTE!! People say I have weird taste in guys, but I have never in my life thought Walter Diaz was a hottie.

They play a computer game called "Makeover Magic".

Whatever. They SO make you start thinking about college in 7th grade. College Ed, anyone?

Whaaa? Fiona is 12 and she's had 2 boyfriends. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE??

Ugh. Madison references Girl Scouts. I hate Girl Scouts so much. I was like the Girl Scout outcast and I was never very crafty.

I love cookies, though.

Madison talks at length about Aimee's boobs. .............

It took me forever to figure out that Fiona's scrnname "Wetwinz" was actually "We twins" with a z. Cuz she has a twin brother. Yeah.

Aaaah, Poison Ivy is introduced.

Laaaame. Ivy Daly used to be Maddie's BFF until Egg and Ivy got in a fight at kickball, Ivy started a rumor about Madison and the principal got involved. WTH??? Ivy, I think your problem is with EGG.

Egg thinks Ivy is hot. She's ridiculously pretty for a 7th grader.

Lol. "Don't wear anything white on the first day unless of course you have a good tan in which case you should wear white on the first day and every day after that until the tan fades away."

Egg calls Ivy a "tease". The nice word for "slut". Ouch.

Hart calls her "Finnster". They make him sound short. EW. And Madison's all, "Wth? Who are you? You're really hot, so I think this must be a mistake." "I'm Hart." "Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?"

I've never been late to class, actually. But Madison is late on the very first day of school. Bummer.

Fiona keeps talking about California and how awesome it was. :P Reminds me of my math class last year when all my table mates had lived in California for like 8 million years and kept talking about how much better it was than Washington....

Lame. She ditches Fiona.

I like how at school a lot of my friends hate each other??? Sort of awkward.

Ew, Drew is so stalker.

Lame, Aimee starts badmouthing Fiona. I would slap her.

I think you don't find out about Maddie's parents being divorced until page 136. So yeah. They're divorced.

OMG, MADISON LIKES HARRY POTTER!!!!!!!!

Dang, her 6th grade year sucked, too.

Ew, they have a science BLOCK! Where they dissect VIRTUAL FROGS!! It's bad enough dissecting a real frog, but a VIRTUAL frog, with virtual gore and virtual smells and virtual poop in the virtual colon. Thank God my frog was a boy, because I did NOT want to open up that egg sack.

I don't get why Aimee is all mad at her....

Bigwheels gives sage advice.

Jumpers and skorts...not gonna fly in 7th grade.

Fiona is way nice about all this.

It's so obvious that Drew lurvs Maddie. He's all shy and annoying and "come to my party or skiing in Switzerland".

Drew happens to be filthy rich???

So that was the fabulous first Madison Finn book. I swear, this is sadly the best book I've read in a while. NO LIE. I'm going to continue to do these and Pony Pals, maybe Avalon, and maybe that Unicorns of Balinor series? Y'all know what I'm talking about? Aggh. You will soon enough.
OMG!! PICTURE OF EGG!!!


And someone made this AWESOME collage, I swear, I'm so jealous. I wish I'd made it. I found it here.

People (in order from left to right): Aimee Gillespie, Dan Ginsburg, Fiona Waters, Egg Diaz, Madison Finn, Hart Jones, Chet Waters, Lindsay Frost, Ivy Daly, Francine Finn (Madison's mom), Jeff Finn (Madison's dad), Stephanie Finn (Madison's step-mom).
Yeah. So I basically gave away a lot of the series with this collage. You'll figure out why later. But yeah. SO EXCITED FOR MORE!!