Plot: Lightning, Pam's usually well-behaved pony, is acting up! She bites her friends, attacks Pam, and almost tramples several people! Pam thinks Lightning is jealous because Pam rode Splash for all of two seconds. Right. That was her problem in book 6, too.
The Pony Pals, who are a tad smarter than Pam, suggest that Lightning has some disease or illness that is making her act up. Hm, could it be Equine ADHD?
They look online and find a page on "Lyme Disease". The symptoms listed on the page match Lightning's symptoms exactly!!
Dr. Crandal isn't convinced. He sends some of Lightning's DNA to the lab...and she has Lyme Disease!
I always thought Lyme Disease was one of those diseases that you have for the rest of your life. I read it in a Brio story. I guess they were wrong.
The rest of the book, Pam whines about how much she misses her pony and how she's never going to get better.
But she gets better. Obviously. Hurray.
More notes:
The Crandal twins are five again. They shall forever be five, I think.
Isn't Splash difficult every day?
Yeah, Splash is an Appaloosa. Why is he chestnut in the picture?
Mrs. Crandal's students have differing opinions on what a "circle" is. "Ride around in a circle." "Okay! *ride side by side*"
Pam believes she has a special connection with ponies....
Lightning doesn't want to put the saddle on. She must have woken up from a bad dream. So much for a special connection, Pam.
AAAAGH, NO, LIGHTNING IS NOT JEALOUS THAT YOU RODE ANOTHER PONY!!!
Lightning bolts and Lulu's like, "Pam, you shouldn't ride so fast!!!"
Ha. Lightning BOLTS. Wow. That's a good one. -_-
Whenever a pony is behaving badly, the Pony Pals assume something is physically wrong with it. Maybe it's just a badly behaved pony!!!
Anna thinks Pam's jealousy theory is stupid.
Lightning almost tramples Pam. I was really hoping she would. But, of course, she didn't. Darn.
Pam falls and hurts her arm and her "backside". I remember a teacher I had who always said "gluteous maximus" and nothing else. She also didn't want boys and girls to hug each other. "Save those for your mommies."
OMG! Best Pony Pals dialogue EVER! It doesn't even sound like they're talking about a pony!
Pam: I got dumped, now I have to get back on. Lightning an dI have to work this out. I can't let her get away with it.
Anna: But your butt. It will hurt to ride.
Pam: I have to do it! Don't you understand?
Anna: Don't be mad at me. I didn't dump you!
ROFL!!!!! Pam got dumped. Wait...did she just come out? I like how Anna slipped and said "butt".
Lulu: We decided you should go first. In case you have more trouble.
Pam: I don't want to go first.
Anna: It's two against one. So you have to go first. That's the Pony Pal rule.
Pam: That's for a Pony Pal Problem. This isn't a Pony Pal Problem. It's my problem with Lightning.
Pam's controlling behavior has rubbed off on her friends.
Lightning bucks Pam off. If she keeps this us, we could be rid of Pam by the end of the book!
"Lightning's not just mad at you. She's mad at everybody." Awww, poor emo Lightning.
Whoa!! Lulu and Anna both admit they were wrong!! Progress.
But then they insist that Lightning is a Pony Pal problem. So much for that.
GUESS WHAT THEY'RE EATING FOR DINNER AT THE CRANDAL HOUSE. NO, GUESS.
SPAGHETTI. AGAIN.
Jill touches Pam's injured arm and Pam screams. Her parents are worried she is in an abusive relationship. Pam's excuse: "I bumped it."
Pam's theory: Lightning doesn't like me anymore.
Or maybe she never liked you and is just starting to show it.
Anna suggests that Pam is too big for Lightning. So what, she should get rid of her? Actually, that's probably a good idea. Lightning kills. Ha. I wasn't even trying to be funny (not that I succeeded).
The Pony Pals keep saying "butt". WHat foul language! Soon they might start saying, "Shut up," to one another!
NOTHING IS PHYSICALLY WRONG WITH LIGHTNING.
There they go, spying again.
Pam didn't tell her parents about Lightning because she thought it was her fault.
Anna: Don't hug her. Her arm is sore from falling off Lightning.
Way to go, Anna. She gives Mrs. Crandal a heart attack.
Ohhh, THAT'S why Lightning is so crankky! She has Lyme disease and her legs are sore!
Pam: How could Lightning have Lyme disease? There aren't any ticks around now. It's winter and everything is frozen.
Dr. Crandal: She could have been bitten months ago. Some people and animals don't get sick right away.
Like with HIV/AIDS!
Dr. Crandal won't say if Lyme is curable. Right. Lightning's a goner.
Oh dear, Lightning might have this for the rest of her life.
Pam wishes on a star that her pony will heal.
And it RHYMES! "Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight. Please let my pony, Lightning, be all right."
Heh.
The Pony Pals are really mean to little kids.
Pam refuses to think of others and ride Splash for Jill, even though Jill won't be able to go riding UNLESS Pam goes first. But Pam's all, "NO, I have to watch Lightning!"
Then Pam starts bossing Jill around.
Now Pam wants to skip school so she can stay home with Lightning. So far, Lightning isn't that sick: her muscles hurt, and she's cranky, but she's eating and drinking normally and can take care of herself. Just leave her alone, Pam.
Pam is such a drama queen. "I may never ride Lightning again."
HA! She writes up a progress report for Lightning. "Is she lame? Yes." Hahahahaha.
Pam is such a loser!! She's basically never going to ride Splash for her sister, but makes it seem like JILL is the selfish one. She's 5 years old!! Of course she's selfish! Your pony's not going to die if you decide to ride another one!
Oh no. Pam is turning into a not-very-nice person. Well, you weren't exactly Ms. Congeniality before, Pam.
Jill writes her a letter. Even though they live in the same house. Yeah.
Deer Pam. I want to bee like yu. I want to talke to pones to. I heart yu. Jill. I want Litnin to bee better too.
I hate the exaggerated five-year-old spelling problems and handwriting.
The tickle-torture machine? Sounds ominous.
:O The Pony Pals are passing notes in class? OUTRAGEOUS!
Pam misses riding, so her mom allows her to ride Sterling (apparently her horse, though we've never heard of him before today), but Pam wants to stay with Lightning. Whatever. I'd take a beautiful HORSE over a cranky PONY any day.
Okay, so that's it. I have a much better Pony Pals that I can do maybe Monday, because tomorrow's THE SUPERBOWL (woo, go Giants!!).
Ew, I have a way boring Unicorns of Balinor, the next to the last one, but I'm taking out all the sticky note markers and just summarizing it, because that series BORES ME.
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