Lulu's Return, Part #3

While Pam and Anna chatted amiably, Lulu looked around at the various customers. She didn't recognize any of them and felt bad about it. Did that make her shallow? Sure, she liked "Gossip Girl" as much as the next person, and dressed a little bit skanky from time to time, but did that make her shallow? Then again, it had been a long time, and no one else had recognized her either. Pam, who was looking at the menu, scoffed at the prices.
"Your mom's upped the prices, Anna. $7.98 for a pancake platter?"
"Wait...she's finally made you guys start paying for your food?" Anna and Pam nodded sadly. Gone were the days of free brownies and Pony Pal specials. Now that they were seniors in high school, Mrs. Harley expected them to pay. Lulu was glad that she finally expected the Pony Pals to grow up, but secretly she wondered if she had enough money to buy anything. Assuming she did, she glanced at the menu. Hashbrowns and toast...eggs and bacon w/ toast...French toast...blueberry pancakes. There were so many carbs, it was as if Mrs. Harley WANTED Lulu to get fat.
"What can I get you guys?" A perky waitress asked, whipping out a pen and paper.
"I'll have blueberry pancakes." Pam answered.
"Same here." The waitress was looking at Lulu expectantly.
"Um..." Quickly, she perused the menu again. What sounded delicious and breakfast-y without being completely fatty and disgusting. "I'll have piece of apple pie." Crap. There went her diet. Anna and Pam stared at her in shock.
"Lulu!" Pam hissed. "What do you think you're doing?"
"What?" Lulu asked innocently, as the waitress took their menus.
"We always order the same thing!" Anna whispered violently. "It's a Pony Pal tradition!"
"Sorry," Lulu said, though she wasn't sorry at all. "I just felt like pie instead of pancakes."
"Pie isn't even a breakfast food!" Pam stated indignantly. They both glared at her, making Lulu feel incredibly small. She sunk down a little in her seat, stifling a whimper.
Then, as if nothing had ever happened, Pam and Anna went back to chatting. Lulu felt awkward.
"So," she said, breaking into their meaningless conversation. "What have I missed?" They began to tell her:
Tommy Rand, the town bully, had been held back twice, but dropped out the second time. He was now working at a garage, a place full of dirty cars and moral iniquity. Rema Baxter, thanks to her father's generous alumni donation, had been accepted into Yale. She joined a sorority, landed a spot on the honor roll, starred in numerous plays, sang in choir, and was a majorette in the marching band. Though there was a two year age difference, Rema had considered Lulu her biggest competition and, with her gone, she'd been able to be the best at everything, even horseback riding: even though their daughter had turned into a terrible rider who tended to blame the horse for everything, the Baxters thought they would try again and bought Rema a beautiful (though expensive) Arabian mare named Glittering Stardust from Heaven Above, or Geisha for short. Rema learned to ride again and began winning shows, even taking first place away from Pam, the best rider in the group. Pam was still mad about it and Anna, of course, hated Rema because she was a "snob".
Since ditching Tommy Rand in 8th grade, Mike Lacey had become a much nicer person. He started volunteering at the library, when he wasn't babysitting his younger sister, Rosalie, or working at Ms. Wiggins' house. Finally, after raising enough money, he'd moved to Chicago to live with his dad, leaving Rosalie to deal with their psychotic pony-hating mother. Rosalie was still devastated about Acorn's being sold and now, with Mike gone, her only friend was the bratty Mimi Kline. Mimi still rode Tongo, though he was way too small for either girl now that they'd hit puberty.
Charlie Olson, Mr. Olson's showboating nephew, still popped up from time to time, full of stories about Wyoming and cattle roping. The Pony Pals had since learned not to take him seriously.
As Lulu listened to all this, the waitress came by with their food. "Three stacks of blueberry pancakes," she announced, setting a plate in front of each girl. Lulu stared at the steaming hot pancakes before her.
"There must be some mistake," she began. "I ordered apple pie." The waitress stared at her blankly.
"I clearly remember you ordering pancakes. Would you like syrup?" Lulu didn't want any syrup; she wanted pie. She noticed Pam and Anna had triumphant grins on their face. It sort of pissed her off.
"What are you smiling about?" Instantly, the smiles disappeared.
"Nothing." Anna picked up her fork and took a bite of her pancakes. Pam did the same. Lulu sighed. Not wanting to start a fight, she began to eat also.
When they had been eating for a while, Lulu finally set down her fork and said, "I think we need a new name." Pam paused with a bite halfway to her lips. Anna swallowed hard.
"What?" She asked dangerously.
"Seriously," Lulu continued. "'The Pony Pals' is pretty...juvenile." Pam frowned. Anna shrugged as if to say, "Yeah? So?"
"SO," Lulu countered. "I think now that we're older, we need a name that sounds grown-up. Sure, we're 'pals' who like 'ponies', but we're not ten anymore."
"What name were you suggesting?" Pam tightened her grip on her fork, brandishing it like a weapon.
"I was wondering if you had any suggestions." Lulu knew she'd crossed a line, challenging Pam's authority. But, you know, so what? Pam had always been bossy; now it was her turn to take charge. Anna appeared to be thinking, always a dangerous thing.
"How about...The Really Cool Girls Who Like Ponies and Horses Both?" Pam and Lulu exchanged dubious glances, suddenly on the same side. Maybe it would be better to leave Anna out of this...
"Hello, girls," spoke a soft, mysterious voice. The girls looked up and saw Mr. Remington, the town librarian. He'd hardly aged in the past six years, though his jet black hair was turning the tiniest bit gray and there were wrinkles surrounding his ice blue eyes. "Lulu, it's a pleasure to see you. You've been gone a long time." Lulu suppressed a shiver. Mr. Remington, with his soft voice and Harry Potter obsession, had always given her the creeps.
"Hi, Mr. Remington," she said simply. He seemed satisfied with this greeting.
"I hear you're trying to think up a new name for your little..." He waved his hands in the air, trying to think of a suitable word.
"Cult?" Lulu squeaked. Pam glared at her. Neither Mr. Remington nor Anna had heard.
"Well, we're really good friends!" Anna piped up, trying to be helpful. Mr. Remington glanced at her but didn't say anything.
"Well, actually, we're companions." Pam said, trying to sound suave. It didn't work.
"And we love horses." Lulu said, purposefully ommitting the word "ponies". Mr. Remington looked thoughtful.
"Three companions...so be it. You shall be...the Horse Companions."
"All right!" The Horse Companions shouted, giving each other high fives. They turned to thank Mr. Remington, but he'd vanished.

It must be true, I saw it on Youtube, or Pony Pals #36: The Pony and the Haunted Barn

Wanna know what's sad? I started this book A MONTH AGO! IN FEBRUARY! It was so boring, however, that I left the last 30 pages unread and left the book under my dresser, convinced I'd finish it one of these days.
Well, now it's Spring Break, basketball is over, and I actually have some free time, so here we go with this book. I might just summarize it, seing as I don't remember why I marked any of the following 90 pages.



Plot: We all know that Pam Crandall does not believe in ghosts. Yet one day, as the Pony Pals explore an abandoned barn in Morristown, something keeps freaking out the ponies, and one of these "ghosts" touches Pam!
Lulu and Anna are all set to believe that it's the ghost of Mr. Warner, who was so sad after his pony ran away, followed by his house burning down.
Pam, rational as ever, refuses to believe it was a ghost. She suggests all manner of realistic things, such as Tommy and Mike, the wind, and their own twisted 10-year-old minds.
The Pony Pals insist that Pam be "more openminded".
Pam retorts that THEY'RE the ones who aren't openminded, because they won't believe it's NOT a ghost.
Smooth, Pam.
The girls go back to snoop around the barn even more, but they can't find the barn!! They draw maps, retrace their steps, use bloodhounds, but it's no use; the barn just cannot be found!
No worries; the Pony Pals switch directions and head to the Historical Society, where they find out more about Mr. Warner, the "ghost" of the barn they found. It seems that the death of his wife and child, not the loss of his pony, were the reasons for his retreat from society. He died of a heart attack, not of a broken heart.
Finally, the Pony Pals are able to find the barn...or the ruins of the barn. It turns out the Warner barn has been ruined for some time, but the day they visited was the anniversary of the day it burned down. :O Spooky...sort of.
Pam still doesn't believe in ghosts...or so she says. She admits to Lightning that if she ever does meet a ghost, she hopes it's a nice one.

Okay, that was a waste of 20 minutes. Oh well.
I have Madison Finn #13, but I'm hesitant to read it, even though it's due in a couple days.
It's just that I've put 3 other Pony Pals on order, and I might be able to buy MF's #11 and #12, and possibly Pony Pals #25 (FINALLY).
It probably won't happen soon, though, so you'll see #13 in a couople of days, followed by Avalon's #3 and #4 (after which there will be no more Avalons because the rest of the series was never published), then the entire Madison Finn series (practically, anyway). Should be fun. Or not.

I can't think of a witty title for this one, or Super Special #2: Pony Pals: The Story of Our Ponies

I used to like this one. But now I really hate all super specials. And I have no idea how Super Special #4 is going to work, because its in the perspective of all three characters, but its mostly about Pam being a peacemaker and Lulu and Anna being brats. AS USUAL.



Plot: Snow White had a son! Who knew? The son, named Snowflake, comes to Wiggins with his owner Mark. Lulu really enjoys learning fascinating things about Snow White and decides to write her life story. Pam and Anna, being copy cats, do the same thing with their ponies.
Basically the whole book is about the history of the ponies.
Yay, Snow White was raised by Mark.
Yay, Acorn was owned by someone with cerebral palsy who gained confidence from ponies.
Yay, Lightning was born in Ireland.
When they're all done learning, the Pony Pals make a book and donate it to the library.
Oh yeah, and Snowflake is being sold and Lulu wants to buy him, but can't, so the Pony Pals try to force Mrs. Wiggins to buy him. That seems to be their motto: When in doubt, make Ms. Wiggins buy a pony.
But Snowflake goes to a little girl in Falls City, which *gasp* is very close to Wiggins! The day is saved!

More notes:
Snowflake is kind of a bad name for a boy horse.

"Snow White's story". How original.

"We'll help you with spelling." Or you could use a computer...with spellcheck!

Pam has a mosquito bite on her forehead. Or so she says.

I wish the Mrs. Crandal would stop mentioning Splash and Daisy every 5 seconds.

I like how they were all shocked that Victoria Winters would want to sell horses for a living, but are completely cool with Mark doing it for a living. Cuz Mark's a hottie.

Lulu looks all Emily Strange in one picture.

Rema doesn't want Mark to think she's nice; she wants Mark to think she's sexually desirable.

Didn't we already know that Acorn had 8 owners?

Wait, how old is Mr. Olson is Acorn's mother was his childhood pony...? Acorn is way old.

Connemaras are Irish. Shockingly enough, Lightning was born in Ireland.

Lulu wants Marks' body. I remember writing a Pony Pals story where Lulu married Mark, Anna married Charlie and worked at a diner because she was poor, and Pam just became all mean and didn't marry Tommy? It was lame. And something about a black horse named Samson. Because I am obsessed with black horses named Samson.

If they want this book to seem all professional, they shouldn't type stuff like, "Snow White is my beautiful pony. Hugs and kisses forever."

Pam loves unnecessary information. "Four years ago my mother and father bought a Connemara pony from you. Her name is Lightning and she is mine." Right. Duh. And those sentences could've been combined into one shorter sentence.

Pony Pal Pancake Special? I think this is supposed to be a joke: blueberry pancakes...*stifles giggle*...WITH A CARROT ON TOP!!! Yeah, not funny.

PONIES DO NOT HAVE PLAYDATES!!! Dogs have playdates. Little kids have playdates. Ponies don't do playdates.

"Beauty looks so beautiful!" Ha. Couldn't think of a different adjective.

I like how all the Pony Pals take credit for "saving Beauty's life" when it was mostly Pam.

Sally Southack uses crutches because she has a disability, not because she fell off Acorn!!! Geez, Anna. What is he, like 3 feet off the ground?

Sally sounds Southern (ew, alliteration). "Acorn, get yourself over here!"

Sally = way pretty.

Anna likes unnecessary information, too. "Pam is going to write down what you say about Acorn. It's hard for me to listen and write at the same time. I'm dyslexic." You could've said, "I'm dyslexic."

Shetland ponies do not cause cerebral palsy.

Where do they get off talking about Tommy behind his back? They've told at least 6 people already, "He's a show offy jerk pants!"

I hate people that name their horses full sentences, such as Like the Wind, or Dapperton's Dapper Dappy Dappled Dimple. And then they give them nicknames that are totally unrelated, like Ranger, because he likes grass???

"Connemara ponies live like goats in the hills." Ooooookay, does that imply that they act like goats? A less confused way to say it would be, "Connemara ponies live in the hills like goats."

Yay, an owner that actually gives the horse credit!

"Maybe Lightning should've been left in the wild...." Yeah, and then she could starve to death with the rest of her kind.

Anna has never used e-mail. Yes.

Aaargh, because Mr. Kelly is Irish, he has to use words like "wee" and "creature" and "fine" and say stuff in Gaelic.

Winnie-the-Pooh can't be classified as a teddy bear.

There's not much Tommy can do to you when you're on horseback. Stupid Anna.

They hyphenate AND italicize "all right". Pam says it, "All-right!"

Aw, Tommy looks so cute as Winnie-the-Pooh. Acorn, on the other hand, is the ugliest Acorn I have ever seen.

"Acorn is my best friend. I can tell him all of my problems." I would not want that published.

Because I'm also dyslexic, I thought the first sentence said something about the Pony Pals eating hay. I was all, "Wth???? Is this how you get your kicks? Chewing grass? Most people smoke it...."

I doubt your dad is going to be willing to buy you another pony, Lulu. Especially since the last time you bought one it turned out to be a sickly wimp.

Mr. Sanders is in India again???

Mrs. Crandal only has two ponies: Splash and Daisy. What? What did she do before book #6??? I think she could afford another pony. BUY SNOWFLAKE!

Sucking up NEVER works.

Argh, shut up, Lulu, about stupid Snowflake. It hurts her freaking heart. Suck it up.

I thought this was a story about Lightning's life. A step-by-step process of how Lightning was put into an airplane isn't that vital to the story.

Lightning used to be anorexic. And cute. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU???

Ugh, a little joke about the stupid upside-down heart on Lightning's head.

STOP MENTIONING THOSE STUPID KITTENS!!!! We get it, Lightning's a HERO!!!

Heh. I can make copies for free at school. Although I don't really have any copies I want to make.

Lulu making me way angry. NO ONE CARES ABOUT SNOWFLAKE!

Confusing illustration on the cover of the book: there is a pasture and some grass, but the pony has no body. Just a head. Floating in the grass?

She already bought Beauty. I don't think Ms. Wiggins wants another sickly pony.

But she sees through their scam. Like it was so subtle.

"We used all of our Pony Pal power. It just didn't work this time." Or maybe you don't have any power.

Oh, because I want to waste time reading a book about ponies written by ten-year-olds.

Ew, Mark likes hanging out with Pony Pals.

I notice whenever their is a pony for sale, it's auctioned off to some little dark-haired girl who is never seen again. Besides Lulu.

That was lame. But not as lame as "The Blind Pony", which is coming up next. Bah, ten-year-olds.

Oh, forget it.

It's too hard to go in series order. I have #10, #12, and #13 is waiting for me at the library, so forget the stupid Super Special. I'll just throw that in when I finally get it.
But where the heck is "Circus Pony"? The library says it's being transferred between libraries. Seriously? The distance between Bremerton and Bainbridge is not that great, last time I checked. HURRY UP!!!
Although "Circus" Pony is so not worth it. Anna wants to join the circus, but her parents think she's too stupid or something and the Pony Pals are somewhat helpful/selfish by telling her that that's a loser idea and she's not supposed to abandon them.
Groan.
How is it that I just basically described 100 pages worth of book in 1 sentence? I guess I could do that for all the books....
But this is way fun.
#10: Don't Hurt My Pony is coming soon!