And they're channeling 40's noir films, or Pony Pals #17: Detective Pony

Lost cats in the woods. Sounds slightly familiar.



Plot: Anna goes to wake up Acorn so they can go riding, but finds him already awake...with a cat by his side. The cat seems to have a weird obsession with Acorn and follows the Pony Pals around. Finally, they can't stand it anymore and take it to Dr. Crandal's.
At the barn sleepover that night, THE BARN SETS ON FIRE! THE KITTY IS IN DANGER! But Acorn smells the fire and all the animals are saved in time. But everyone's favorite cat has gone missing!
The next morning, the Pony Pals go into the woods to search for him and find him in a tree, having been beaten up by a bobcat.
They take him BACK to Dr. Crandal's.
Acorn seems to really love this kitty, and Anna has always wanted a pet, so she tries to convince her mom (WHO IS ALLERGIC TO CATS!!) to let her keep him. Mrs. Harley is about to say no when she sees the kitty laying across Acorn's shoulders. She is so overcome by the cuteness that she agrees to keep him. Anna names the cat Shadow. And all is well.

More notes:
Most people don't put collars on their cats. That's a dog thing.

How convenient. It's winter vacation...AGAIN. Wait, wasn't it summer vacation in books #15 AND #16???? WHAT'S UP?

Read this sentence.
"Pam's father was a veterinarian and he took care of most of the cats, dogs, horses, cows, and pigs in Wiggins."
Since when are there cows and pigs in Wiggins? And it would've been a lot easier to say, "...all the animals in Wiggins."

Wow. Dr. Crandal is actually working on a patient. This never happens.

The Crandals suddenly have a kennel that houses A LOT of animals. This has never been mentioned before.

Oh, and they board horses. Didn't know that either.

Brandy is a girl's name.

Lol, the cat has been ALTERED. ROFL. Trouser snake.

Didn't your sister own a cat, Anna? Your mother was never allergic THEN.

This is about Lulu:
"She lived in tents, rode elephants, and hid behind bushes to watch the monkeys play."
Ah yes. Lulu the wild woman.

There's like 4 pages on Lulu and 2 paragraphs on Anna and Pam. And they're combined.

They're going to bed at 9:30. Right.

You would think they would notice if the animal clinic is in flames.

Dr. Crandal doesn't want the Pony Pals being heroes. But he's allowed to go back into the burning building.

Shouldn't you always have your horse's halter on? Unless he's alone in his stall?

I knew Anna's dad was a firefighter!

They let Lulu go back into a burning barn, but not Anna and Pam? Do the Crandals not like Lulu?

Lol. Mr. Harley looks like Darth Vader. From "Return of the Jedi". Sans helmet.

Heh. Acorn saved a bunch of animals from burning alive. All Lightning has ever done is "protect" a bunch of stupid kittens. And Snow White "saved" forest animals from certain death. Sort of. Not really.

Bad drawing: Lightning is bay and Snow White has huge eyes. After this book, I think Jeanne Betancourt got fed up with Paul Bachem and got a new illustrator.

Pam called Acorn stupid.

How do you mistake raccoon tracks for cat tracks?

Pam and Lulu call Anna stupid and try to force her to go back home. But Anna's all, "You can go home, I'ma keep looking," like Pam did in #9. Ha. And, because they refuse to be seperated for 2 seconds, they go with her.

I don't believe those are bobcat tracks. They're exactly the same size and shape as the regular cat tracks shown in the book.

Oooh, violence.

I thought cats always landed on their feet. If he gets too cold and falls, he'll just land on his feet, Lulu.

The cat is covered in blood.

If a bobcat is four times bigger than a housecat, how come its paws are only two times bigger?

We understand how to clean wounds, Dr. Crandal.

Pam: Could we keep him here?
Dr. Crandal: We aren't adopting any more animals.
You could trade in Fat Cat for this cat. No one likes Fat Cat anyway.

I still can't figure out how Mrs. Harley is suddenly allergic to cats.

"It'll be cold in there." "Hm. Let's put a pillow in it." Pillows make everything better.

Mr. Harley is a firefighter AND a carpenter?

Uh oh, infestation. Instead of investing in a cat, couldn't you just call the exterminator?

Your parents didn't want you to have a pony because you were FAILING SCHOOL, not because they hated animals. Anna, Anna, Anna....

No one sneezes just thinking about cats.

Heh. Mr. Harley likes cats and isn't allergic to them. The exact opposite of my dad.

That's dramatic. "It's my pony. He saved the cat's life."
And yet Pam gets to tell the whole exciting story? Shut up, Pam. It's not your pony. Your pony doesn't do anything cool; it just "saves" kittens.

They manage to convince Mrs. Harley in 2 seconds that they need a cat. She agrees so quickly!

Fuzzy is an awful suggestion, Pam.

They want to make the house 2x1x1. Is that really big enough?

Black Beauty is a stupid suggestion, Lulu.

No one wants a cat named Kitty, Lulu.

Pam, just shut up and stop suggesting things.

Eh. Shadow is better than No Name. *glares at Pam* I would've named him Faithful after the cat in the Tamora Pierce books, but hey. At least it's not Smokey.

Yeah. Not too bad. Anna seemed more tolerable in this one. #18 about the emo abused pony coming up tomorrowish.

And stay out! or Pony Pals #12: Keep out, Pony!

Yeah, I know I said I'd wait for "Circus Pony" before I posted again, but I'm a pretty impatient person, and that little 7-year-old kid isn't reading fast enough. And I have 12-15 in my possession and no other books to read.... So "Circus Pony" will have to wait. I said that last time, didn't I? I've put a hold on #16 and I'm pretty excited about that one. Lulu gets in a tragic accident. But she doesn't die. Awwww.... And she has to conquer a fear of riding again. Sort of lame, but I'm looking forward to tragic accident. But on to "Keep Out, Pony!"



Plot: Pam is going on a ride with her buddy and partner-in-crime Lightning and her annoying dog Woolie when she comes upon a sheep pen in the middle of Pony Pal Trail! You all remember Pony Pal Trail, right? If you don't (I might have never told you about it), it's the mile-and-a-half trail that connects Pam and Anna's houses. Since Lulu now lives right next to Anna, it becomes EXTRA convenient for all the lil friends to meet and greet and...yeah. BUT THERE ARE SHEEP ON PONY PAL TRAIL! Anna and Lulu come upon the sheep, too, and all of them are very confoozed. Woolie isn't, however. He likes to bark at sheep, because he is a SHEEPDOG. Haha. Not.
GASP! The new owners of the property come to chase the Pony Pals away and tell them to NEVER TRESPASS ON THEIR PROPERTY AGAIN!!!
The Pony Pals are crushed. THEY LOVE PONY PAL TRAIL! But it does not love them back. So they try to think up ideas to get the Stewarts to let them back on the trail.
They write the Stewarts a nice letter.
No dice.
They invite the Stewarts over for a tea party!
The Stewarts accept the invitation...only to not attend due to their pregnant sheep.
It seems the Pony Pals will never get their trail back. But then, after trespassing on the Stewarts' property AGAIN, they find a newborn lamb stuck in the bushes. It got seperated from its mammy! They take care of it and put it back with its mammy, while Woolie watches the flock (awwwww). Mrs. Stewart comes home, finds the girls, and is furious...until she finds out they saved a lamb. This changes her mind about everything, and the Pony Pals get the trail back! Yaaaaaaaaaay!

More notes:
I hate Woolie. So Happy from "7th Heaven". It annoys me.

I want to know exactly what was going through Pam's head at that moment: Zut alors! Sheep!

Snow White scared of sheep. Hate.

Mr. Stewart comes out carrying a big stick. Wth? Violent much?

The stupid Pony Pals riff is back and its bigger than ever before.

"Pam brushed Woolie's golden bangs back with her fingers and looked into his eyes." That does NOT sound like they're referring to a dog.

The origins of the Pony Pal trail, how exciting. It can't be THAT secret. Come on, people LIVE on it.

These girls can eat a mess of brownies.

They only go riding on weekends? Together? Don't horses need more that?

If they live there and are building a sheep pen, I think they own.

"Cynthia Prindle Stewart"? What kind of name is that?

Who is Julie Rosen? Since when has she let the Pony Pals ride on her land? WHO IS THIS WOMAN?

Mr. Crandal is so mean. OMG, DAISY IS BACK! Remember her #6? They never reference other books, besides #1 and #2.

"Come on, Lightning. Do it for Woolie." That sounds wrong.

The girls congratulate each other for sneaking onto the Stewarts' property without being noticed.

Pam writes a letter. Part of it says, "Our ponies are very well-behaved." Um, isn't Acorn always being mischevious and running away from Anna? And doesn't Lightning get moody and bite people?

Heh. Mrs. Stewart sends Pam hatemail.

Pam is so pessimistic.

Wth, they're in 5th grade. What kind of school do they go to? 5th graders and 8th graders are schooled together and they all get LOCKERS? Unfair.

"Do something nice for the Stewarts." LIKE WHAT? LIKE WHAT?

What is it with these Wiggins-y people and free business? "Oh, my dad will build two gates in the sheep pen for FREE!"

Who uses the word "companion" in 5th grade? Actually, Kelvin did sometimes. Heh. Kelvin. I remember that kid.

Doesn't the second bell mean you're late? The Pony Pals are skipping class!!!

I agree, Pam. Throwing a grown-up party for the Stewarts is a bad idea.

They lie and tell Mrs. Stewart about a party that doesn't exist. Oh, wait, it's a TEA PARTY. For GROWN UPS.

Why is Ms. Wiggins in Paris???? Did she get bored with Conecticut and leave?

Apparently Lulu is a tea party expert.

Lol, for a whole page they discuss this and I totally pictured them with British accents.

What a wonderful menu.
Cucumber sandwhiches, a lamb cake (not made out of lambs), brownies, candy, fruit punch, tea.
Sounds like a little kid's birthday party. Minus the gross sandwhiches.

Okay, I'm probably just crazy, but COME ON, EDITORS!
*they see the lamb*
Anna: It's so cute.
Lulu: Look! There's ANOTHER baby lamb.
Anna: There's ANOTHER baby lamb.
Pam: She had twins!
What??? Didn't you just say there were three??? SO CONFUSED.

Dang, three babies? How many babies can sheep pop out?

Queenie is an awful name. And the lamb looks like a dog with a bad haircut.

Ew, picture of Mrs. Stewart. She's way old. I was totally picturing some newlyweds with a sheep fetish.

Again, the Pony Pals don't want to be paid to be sheep sitters. How ELSE are you going to pay for all those brownies you eat?

Anna's father is a carpenter? I thought he was a firefighter.....

Remind me how Lightning assisted in saving Pony Pal Trail. Really, I can't figure this out. She just acted crabby and comforted Pam in her despair. That's not that much of an accomplishment.

So that's that. I really want a lamb cake. I also finished the one about the city girl who hated ponies, so I'll post when I's done wif dis. Aaargh, the next one discussed the Pony Pals' lack of social skills. You'll see for yourselves.

I'm not stupid, just misunderstood, or Pony Pals #2: A Pony For Keeps

This book is listed as Reading Level ages 9 to 12. Uh, I don't think so. Or maybe I'm just a genius.

Acorn is always described as black and brown (why can't they say bay???) but I always thought he looked more yellow. Anna looks relatively tiny compared to Acorn.

Plot: Anna loves Acorn. Acorn loves Anna. It's a perfect match. But Anna's parents blame Acorn for Anna's bad grades (or maybe she's just dumb), and threaten to get rid of him unless she gets A's on her report card.
Report cards come back. C-, C-, D, D...A IN ART! But no, that's not good enough, so Acorn's a goner. So Anna does the mature thing and decides to run away from home.
That's right. She skips school and goes riding with Acorn and they jump, bla bla bla, but then she gets caught by the Wiggins Witch!!! Duh, that's what you get when you trespass...
But it turns out the Wiggins Witch is really a nice woman named Wilhelmina Wiggins who loves ponies as much as Anna!!! Good golly! And it turns out that Anna is dyslexic, and so is Willie! So they become BEST PALS.
Anna tells the Pony Pals about her learning disability and Pam enforces the crappy three ideas rule. Aaargh... But before they can put all of them into practice, ACORN DISAPPEARS! It looks like Anna's parents really wanted him gone.
But YAY! The Pony Pals explain to Mrs. Harley that Anna isn't stupid and Acorn isn't distracting her, and Mrs. Harley willingly forks over a couple thou to buy Acorn for Anna. So Anna buys Acorn! YAY! ACORN AND ANNA FOREVER! *puke*

More notes:
Pam decides it's okay to trespass on private property, because those signs are OBVIOUSLY referring to hunters, not kids on ponies.

Ugh. Fifth grade humor. Did I make jokes like this in 5th grade?
Anna: That's a big house. I heard it has 27 rooms.
Lulu: I bet she hasn't left the house for 27 years.
Pam: And has 27 cats.
Anna: And hasn't taken a bath in 27 weeks!
All: TEE HEE HEE!
Grrrr....

Another Acorn and Snow White lovefest. I always thought when I was little that they would fall in love and make little horsey babies together. Maybe they did; I never read the one where Snow White has a baby.

Rema Baxter doesn't want Snow White getting attached to Lulu. Then maybe you should go home and take care of your pony!!!! Loser.

Suddenly everyone hates Acorn.
Pam: Maybe Acorn's the wrong pony for you.
Maybe you don't DESERVE a pony.

Anna uses the phrase "pretty ponies". And you wonder why I chose that title...

Mr. Olsen seems anxious to sell this Morgan. He tries to sell it to each of the Pony Pals until book #4. If it's such a great horse, HOW COME NO ONE'S BOUGHT IT???

And how come he has such a big horse farm in a small town? Everyone probably already has a horse, and it's not like he's world renowned so people from all over buy his ponies. Horses. Animals.

I hate it when authors spell things out, like T-E-R-M-S O-F S-A-L-E, and expect you to read each letter seperately.

Oh no, bossy Tommy Rand owned Acorn! How horrible! Heh. Tommy's first appearance. After this, he's a regular character. And he's way ugly. And his best friend's angsty.

Anna's all shocked that Tommy doesn't miss Acorn. Yeah. He's a boy who likes trapping animals for fun (more on that in book #10). I don't think he's big on ponies.

Tammy: Can't you guys leave her alone? Maybe she's doing the best she can.
Mr. Harley: I doubt it. I know this girl. Her brain's are as good as yours and her brother's. All my kids are smart. Anna's too easily distracted and draws when she should be writing. Seems to me that Acorn is the biggest distraction of them all.
That's so mean. I would wait till she was out of the room before I said this. Maybe she has a learning disability...or she's just dumb. That IS a common ailment. Some things in that sentence were quite grammatically incorrect.

Anna = so short. And Pam still has an afro puff that magically disappears in the next book.

(Anna's parents are selling Acorn.)
"We're doing this for your own good." Yeah, that's what my parents said about private schooling. Bull.

LULU FALLS FOR ANNA'S SICK RUSE! And Anna skips school! Isn't this a little risque` for a children's book? Aren't we trying to teach good morals?

Anna is surprised that a grown woman on a huge horse could catch up with her on a Shetland pony.

Willie talks like she's Southern, without the accent. And Anna starts telling her her life story five seconds after she meets her. Um, dramatic much? I guess it doesn't matter that she was trespassing.

AAAGH, ANOTHER PETA MESSAGE ABOUT HUNTING! What is this, "The Most Dangerous Game"?

After this book, Jeanne Betancourt had trouble with the continuity of Mrs. Wiggins name. Sometimes it was Wilhelmina, sometimes it was Winifred, sometimes it was Wilma.... I really hate the name Wilma.

Mrs. Wiggins is totally cool with cutting school. Right.

Mrs. Wiggins = way creeping me out. She's going to invite them over for dinner any minute, and then eat their souls.

Is no one seeing how questionable this situation is? Oh, and the Pony Pals decide not to tell Anna's parents that Anna ran away and go looking for her themselves. A bunch of ten-year-olds alone on horseback. Sooo safe.

Pam again, being a control freak. "THREE IDEAS! TOMORROW! 5 SHARP!"

Pam supposedly has the best handwriting, and it's worse than mine.

I know she doesn't like spelling, but come on. And her drawings are a little hard to figure out. Is that a cat?
Specshel tudor + *bad drawing of pony* = *smiley face?*
Pam: Your drawings are so great.
Yeah right.

Heh. I love the picture on page 72. Pam and Lulu are shocked, and Anna's just smiling. Isn't she supposed to be sad? They just took Acorn away.

Anna is sorry she's stupid. You should be.

Pam and Lulu are responsible enough to run a diner by themselves. Right.

"Acorn was so glad to see her that he stopped eating." What? Does he have an eating disorder now? Can happiness really do that?

Doesn't tutoring cost a lot? Why are they letting Anna do it for free? Is she poor and they feel sorry for her?

Aaaah, that whole book just bummed me out because it was boring and it reminded me of a Clubhouse Jr. issue that was supposed to be about horses and it was about dyslexia. JUST LIKE THIS BOOK. Graaaah. I have #3, which I never finished cuz it sucked. I'll maybe finish that tonight. I'm going through these things like water. See ya.