I can't think of a witty title for this one, or Super Special #2: Pony Pals: The Story of Our Ponies

I used to like this one. But now I really hate all super specials. And I have no idea how Super Special #4 is going to work, because its in the perspective of all three characters, but its mostly about Pam being a peacemaker and Lulu and Anna being brats. AS USUAL.



Plot: Snow White had a son! Who knew? The son, named Snowflake, comes to Wiggins with his owner Mark. Lulu really enjoys learning fascinating things about Snow White and decides to write her life story. Pam and Anna, being copy cats, do the same thing with their ponies.
Basically the whole book is about the history of the ponies.
Yay, Snow White was raised by Mark.
Yay, Acorn was owned by someone with cerebral palsy who gained confidence from ponies.
Yay, Lightning was born in Ireland.
When they're all done learning, the Pony Pals make a book and donate it to the library.
Oh yeah, and Snowflake is being sold and Lulu wants to buy him, but can't, so the Pony Pals try to force Mrs. Wiggins to buy him. That seems to be their motto: When in doubt, make Ms. Wiggins buy a pony.
But Snowflake goes to a little girl in Falls City, which *gasp* is very close to Wiggins! The day is saved!

More notes:
Snowflake is kind of a bad name for a boy horse.

"Snow White's story". How original.

"We'll help you with spelling." Or you could use a computer...with spellcheck!

Pam has a mosquito bite on her forehead. Or so she says.

I wish the Mrs. Crandal would stop mentioning Splash and Daisy every 5 seconds.

I like how they were all shocked that Victoria Winters would want to sell horses for a living, but are completely cool with Mark doing it for a living. Cuz Mark's a hottie.

Lulu looks all Emily Strange in one picture.

Rema doesn't want Mark to think she's nice; she wants Mark to think she's sexually desirable.

Didn't we already know that Acorn had 8 owners?

Wait, how old is Mr. Olson is Acorn's mother was his childhood pony...? Acorn is way old.

Connemaras are Irish. Shockingly enough, Lightning was born in Ireland.

Lulu wants Marks' body. I remember writing a Pony Pals story where Lulu married Mark, Anna married Charlie and worked at a diner because she was poor, and Pam just became all mean and didn't marry Tommy? It was lame. And something about a black horse named Samson. Because I am obsessed with black horses named Samson.

If they want this book to seem all professional, they shouldn't type stuff like, "Snow White is my beautiful pony. Hugs and kisses forever."

Pam loves unnecessary information. "Four years ago my mother and father bought a Connemara pony from you. Her name is Lightning and she is mine." Right. Duh. And those sentences could've been combined into one shorter sentence.

Pony Pal Pancake Special? I think this is supposed to be a joke: blueberry pancakes...*stifles giggle*...WITH A CARROT ON TOP!!! Yeah, not funny.

PONIES DO NOT HAVE PLAYDATES!!! Dogs have playdates. Little kids have playdates. Ponies don't do playdates.

"Beauty looks so beautiful!" Ha. Couldn't think of a different adjective.

I like how all the Pony Pals take credit for "saving Beauty's life" when it was mostly Pam.

Sally Southack uses crutches because she has a disability, not because she fell off Acorn!!! Geez, Anna. What is he, like 3 feet off the ground?

Sally sounds Southern (ew, alliteration). "Acorn, get yourself over here!"

Sally = way pretty.

Anna likes unnecessary information, too. "Pam is going to write down what you say about Acorn. It's hard for me to listen and write at the same time. I'm dyslexic." You could've said, "I'm dyslexic."

Shetland ponies do not cause cerebral palsy.

Where do they get off talking about Tommy behind his back? They've told at least 6 people already, "He's a show offy jerk pants!"

I hate people that name their horses full sentences, such as Like the Wind, or Dapperton's Dapper Dappy Dappled Dimple. And then they give them nicknames that are totally unrelated, like Ranger, because he likes grass???

"Connemara ponies live like goats in the hills." Ooooookay, does that imply that they act like goats? A less confused way to say it would be, "Connemara ponies live in the hills like goats."

Yay, an owner that actually gives the horse credit!

"Maybe Lightning should've been left in the wild...." Yeah, and then she could starve to death with the rest of her kind.

Anna has never used e-mail. Yes.

Aaargh, because Mr. Kelly is Irish, he has to use words like "wee" and "creature" and "fine" and say stuff in Gaelic.

Winnie-the-Pooh can't be classified as a teddy bear.

There's not much Tommy can do to you when you're on horseback. Stupid Anna.

They hyphenate AND italicize "all right". Pam says it, "All-right!"

Aw, Tommy looks so cute as Winnie-the-Pooh. Acorn, on the other hand, is the ugliest Acorn I have ever seen.

"Acorn is my best friend. I can tell him all of my problems." I would not want that published.

Because I'm also dyslexic, I thought the first sentence said something about the Pony Pals eating hay. I was all, "Wth???? Is this how you get your kicks? Chewing grass? Most people smoke it...."

I doubt your dad is going to be willing to buy you another pony, Lulu. Especially since the last time you bought one it turned out to be a sickly wimp.

Mr. Sanders is in India again???

Mrs. Crandal only has two ponies: Splash and Daisy. What? What did she do before book #6??? I think she could afford another pony. BUY SNOWFLAKE!

Sucking up NEVER works.

Argh, shut up, Lulu, about stupid Snowflake. It hurts her freaking heart. Suck it up.

I thought this was a story about Lightning's life. A step-by-step process of how Lightning was put into an airplane isn't that vital to the story.

Lightning used to be anorexic. And cute. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU???

Ugh, a little joke about the stupid upside-down heart on Lightning's head.

STOP MENTIONING THOSE STUPID KITTENS!!!! We get it, Lightning's a HERO!!!

Heh. I can make copies for free at school. Although I don't really have any copies I want to make.

Lulu making me way angry. NO ONE CARES ABOUT SNOWFLAKE!

Confusing illustration on the cover of the book: there is a pasture and some grass, but the pony has no body. Just a head. Floating in the grass?

She already bought Beauty. I don't think Ms. Wiggins wants another sickly pony.

But she sees through their scam. Like it was so subtle.

"We used all of our Pony Pal power. It just didn't work this time." Or maybe you don't have any power.

Oh, because I want to waste time reading a book about ponies written by ten-year-olds.

Ew, Mark likes hanging out with Pony Pals.

I notice whenever their is a pony for sale, it's auctioned off to some little dark-haired girl who is never seen again. Besides Lulu.

That was lame. But not as lame as "The Blind Pony", which is coming up next. Bah, ten-year-olds.

Even worse than the Pony Pals, or Pony Pals #14: Pony-Sitters

How come Pam is an oldest child, Anna is a youngest child, and Lulu is an only child? I guess to further emphasize their many differences. I wish Lulu were a middle child. But then we would have more siblings to contend with. We already have Jack and Jill, the Martha Stewart clones, and Anna's older sister, who changes her name like 20 times. I'm actually in a pretty good mood today and this one wasn't that horrible, so I'm not as critical as I might be. "Circus Pony" is still in the hands of that 7-year-old....



Plot: Everyone in Wiggins, it seems, loves ponies. Mimi Kline seems to like them even more than the Pony Pals, or that annoying Rosalie kid! For her birthday, the Mr. and Mrs. Kline decide to buy her a pony and enlist Anna as her pony-sitter! Basically Anna will teach Mimi how to act around a pony and they will have a jolly old time. She will also teach Mimi how to ride.
But, because this is Anna we are talking about, she can't do anything without the Pony Pals. Now all three of them are pony-sitters!
The Klines buy an adorable Shetland pony named Tongo. Mimi loves Tongo. Tongo loves Mimi. They look so cute together.
But Mimi is a brat. She treats Tongo violently, doesn't listen to the Pony Pals, and runs around in circles. Come on, though. She's 5. She's a brat, but she's 5.
One day, Mimi runs away with Tongo and Mr. Monkey (don't ask). Her parents freak out and call the National Guard, the FBI, the CIA, and the state police.
But it turns out Mimi was just playing Hide-and-Seek with Tongo in the woods.
The Klines are convinced, like Anna's parents in Book #2, that Tongo is a bad influence and send him away.
But the Pony Pals tell them that Tongo is a good boy, and the Klines cave.
Mimi and Tongo forever.
That was boring.

More notes:
They don't actually explain who Mimi is in the beginning. And since when does Anna have neighbors besides Lulu?

"We call ourselves the Pony Pals." I don't think the nice people care, Anna.

Tongo is a pretty cute name. Totally naming my pony Tongo.

"Small ponies can be spoiled." So can big ponies....

Awwww, Bubble is a cute name, too.

It really rubs me the wrong way when people refer to horses as blonde.

I thought Mr. Olson worshiped Acorn? Apparently not?

Jeanne Betancourt needs to use semicolons instead of making a new sentence.

Doesn't kickball require more than two people? Wouldn't it be "kicking a ball" or "playing soccer" rather than "kickball"?

Yeah. Pulling the pony's tail. Not smart.

We now know that the Pony Pals eat at the diner for free. Lame.

I want a purple riding helmet really bad.

Really, how hard is it to ride? You sit. They pull. Horse goes. Well, when you're a little kid. When you're older, they start on the stupid technicalities.

Mimi talks to herself in third person.

And she wants to see Tongo's bellybutton.

Do ponies really not have bellybuttons? I'm going to check up on that.

Tongo so ugly in all the pictures.

Where do they keep Tongo if they're riding up and down the driveway? I'm not seeing a stable for this family.

AAAAAAAAAGH! You don't have to know that much about horses to let a little kid play with one. Just utilize proper safety habits.

I hate this sentence:
"He did whatever Lulu asked him to do. Walk. Trot. Or halt."
WHY??? WHY CAN'T YOU USE COMMAS????

I remember class trips to the museum. I've never been to an actual museum with dinosaurs and paintings and stuff, tho. Only to the Washington State History Museum or whatever and that stupid Seattle Art Museum. Jealous.

Mrs. Bell is an idiot.
Pam: After, we're having dinner at the diner with Lulu's father.
Lulu: He's going to tell us about his trip to India. He was in India studying monkeys. (you didn't have to say India twice)
Mimi: I have a monkey! He's MY Mr. Monkey.
Mrs. Bell: Mr. Monkey is a stuffed animal.
NO. DUH.

They saw a painting that looked just like Mr. Monkey! I totally pictured a sock monkey when they mentioned Mr. Monkey. *shudder* What kind of sicko takes time and energy to paint sock monkeys?

Mwahahaha, they think something terrible has happened to Mimi.

They've been at the museum all day. Of course Mimi isn't with them.

They think someone kidnapped Mimi. Yeah. Right. Mrs. Bell was there, she would've heard the screaming, or at least someone randomly walking in. How exactly are they picturing this scene?
Kidnapper: Hey, kid.
Mimi: WHAT?
Kidnapper: Come with me.
Mimi: Okay. Let's go visit Tongo!
I bet he was wearing a ski mask, too. Isn't a ski mask the red flag?

They think maybe she went to visit a friend. I totally expected Mrs. Kline to say, "SHE HAS NO FRIENDS!"

Still not saying poop. Now they're saying "pony plop". Better than "you-know-what".

Oh. She's playing Hide and Seek with Tongo. OF COURSE. In the woods. At night. No danger here!

What? Pam and Lulu are working their butts of, too, but Anna is the only one getting paid????

Mr. Monkey is kind of cute....

Why is it Anna's fault that Mimi is losing her pony? Can't figure that out.

The Klines own a hardware store. Didn't know that either.

Oh, Anna didn't teach her enough safety and let her think she could be a Pony Pal. I'm sure that's why she ran away, Anna.

Mimi wasn't really lost. But the Pony Pals withhold this information till the end.

Heh. Mrs. Bell is all Italian.

Rosalie and the Pony Pals seem to have been frozen in time, because everyone else grows older but they're still the same age.

Mimi is subjecting Rosalie to slave labor.

AAAAAAH! Mimi is going to grow up to be a serial killer, because she blames everything on Mr. Monkey/split personality.

The Klines think Anna is on the crack corn, too.

The author felt she had to describe how each character laughed at Mimi's witty joke.

Mimi has more energy than a million batteries. Heh.

Oh boy. That was...really boring. But Super Special #2 is up next! Ooh, a special edition pony topper??? Check it!

The Stories of Our Ponies
Pony Pals Super Special #2

The Pony Pals want to write a book about their ponies. They interview past owners, and even meet Snow White's foal! This great story comes with your very own Pony Pal pencil with a fuzzy pony topper and specially designed mini-notebook, plus a free pony portrait bookmark and two collecting cards.

You'll love this very special Pony Pals book!

Man. I guess Acorn didn't father Snow White's baby. :(
OMG, I read the plot summary for Super Special #4 and Snow White and Acorn HATE EACH OTHER! LOL! And I thought they were lovers. Wow, was I wrong. So Lightning and Pam have to play peacemaker. Not peachmaker.
So jealous. I want a fuzzy pony topper.

The world is divided into two kinds of people, or Pony Pals #13: The Girl Who Hated Ponies

Lulu is a very AWFUL person. That's all I have to say. Btw, the picture shows the cover in the wrong color. The copy I have is periwinkle, not rusty brown.



Plot: Mr. Sanders forgets that Lulu is an antisocial freak and decides to let his bosses daughter Melissa (or something like that) hang with Lulu and the Pony Pals. FOR A WHOLE WEEKEND. WITHOUT ADULT SUPERVISION. Okay, not really, but he's basically leaving Lulu and his friend's kid on their own.
Oh no, Melissa doesn't like PONIES!!!! *gasp* She likes makeoevers and beauty parlors and wears dangly earrings, so Lulu writes her off as a jerk and is mean to her.
They all go to Pam's house. Melissa doesn't want to go riding, so the Pony Pals give her the glare of death. They try to introduce her to their ponies, but Melissa seems to be scared of them??? IS IT POSSIBLY BECAUSE OF A TRAUMATIC EVENT WHEN SHE WAS 5???
Finally, they convince Melissa to go riding with them, but she agrees to go only if she can give them all makeovers when they get back. Ew. Not.
Oh no, a blizzard! The Pony Pals get trapped with Melissa in a wooden shelter that magically popped out of the ground. Melissa then admits that she was once trapped in a stall with a horse and has since then been scared out of her pants by horses. Then she apologizes for being such a BRAT. Um, yeah, Pony Pals, don't you think YOU need to give her an apology TOO?
But no. Magically, the snow stops and they can go outside again! Then they are rescued by Mr. Crandal and they all go home.
But Melissa has not forgotten about the makeovers....
At the diner the next morning, Melissa decides that the thing she REALLY wants to do is give the PONIES makeovers. So they do that. And Melissa is in love with Snow White. Because everyone looooooves Snow White. Yeah. That's IT.

More notes:
"We're going to spend the whole weekend riding with our Pony Pals." Don't you do that EVERY weekend?

I thought Mr. Sanders was studying BLACK bears, but he's going to a conference on BROWN bears. And he STILL looks like George Lopez.

Oh, because Lulu likes ponies, and Melissa's parents like ponies, and the Pony Pals like ponies, MELISSA must LOVE ponies.

Lulu is HORRIBLE at making friends, seeing as she only has 2 since moving to Wiggins. Why does Mr. Sanders think this is a good idea?

Melissa is wearing a black skirt (looks like a dress on the cover), lace-up leather boots (combat boots???), and a red jacket...OH, and a beret, which they failed to mention. Who wears berets?

Melissa is wearing dangly earrings. What is the signifigance of dangly earrings? Lulu makes a HUGE deal about it.

Okay, the Princes live in New York City...so they drive down to Conecticut to pick up Mr. Sanders and drop off Melissa...and now they're going to Maine. Yeah, not out of the way at all.

Mr. Sanders' first name is TOM???

OH NO, MELISSA HAS A NEW MANICURE KIT THAT HAS NAIL POLISH AND GOLD SPARKLES! DEMON!!! Seriously, even horse freaks like to look semi-feminine some of the time.

Since when does Grandma Sandy give manicures? My bad, Grandmother Sanders.

They leave Melissa with Grandma Sandy and talk about her behind her back? Such jerks.

We never find out how Lulu's mammy died.

ANNA LOOKS JUST LIKE CASPIAN FROM THE "CHRONICLES OF NARNIA" BBC MOVIE!!!

Bad grammar. "Melissa come over here." Where's the comma, eh?

They're confused as to why Melissa hates stepping in horse crap.

They're trying to force Melissa to become a Pony Pal.

Wait, for serious? All Melissa's suitcase holds is a manicure kit, makeup, a nightgown, a "very pretty dress", and a fluffy pink bathrobe. Whaaaaaat?

I swear, brownies and spaghetti are the only things the Pony Pals ever eat.

How did they know Melissa was from New York? It's not MENTIONED for 20 pages.

Melissa hates Snow White, too.

Oh no, it referenced THE CIRCUS. Acorn's not really that talented. He can shake and nod his head and go in a circle.

I wrote a lot when I was little, too!

Horses are beautiful and wonderful. Thank you, Lulu.

Aaargh, poop is a bad word!!! Dang it! SAY POOP! SAY IT!

Melissa: Anna, I think a different hairstyle would make you look older.
Anna: Why would I want to look older?
Well, let's see, you look like you're 5?

"You'll be known as the Pretty Pals instead of the Pony Pals." OMG!! I don't think Melissa meant to insult them, but she TOTALLY DID. Wait...I think she meant to. BOOYA, I love this girl.

SPLASH IS BACK FROM #6!!!

Ew, who eats muffins hot?

Heh, manipulation on both sides. Cat fight!

Splash actually looks like an Appaloosa!

Now you know how it feels, Anna. (See #9)

Lulu doesn't have the guts to say, "Snow White behaves a lot better than you do." Honestly, I can't stick up for Melissa any more. She's just as bad as the Pony Pals. I probably would've strangled her by now.

But Melissa isn't stupid, and Lulu's all surprised to see that Splash is really a problem pony. Dummy.

Yeah, yelling during a trail ride. Good idea. Spook the ponies a little.

Melissa just acknowledged Wiggins' lack of pizza places.

Maybe Snow White doesn't like snow because the last time it snowed, she got lost in a blizzard and fell in an icy hole while she had SHINGLES.

See, told you.

Tommy Rand = serial killer. He either finds a dead snake or kills one, but then he wraps it around Pam's neck. Dang. That really sucks. Now she's all phobic of snakes.

Lulu has a Rihanna haircut in one picture.

Whatever. Melissa's encounter with a scary horse isn't that scary to me. If it had been me I would've been so thrilled. Cuz I was a Pony Pal and a freak when I was little.

To pass the time, Melissa teaches them a line dance. How...? No what, never mind.

I'm shocked that Lulu even owns a pair of long underwear. Pam totally looks like Nicole from the basketball team.

The Crandals own their own ranch, a billion ponies, a huge house, their own medical practice, and a snowmobile. They haven't said it, but I think the Crandals are rich.

Wiggins is so much more exciting than boring old New York City! Not.

"Can I bring them a treat?" Shouldn't it be, "Can I take them a treat?"

They want to trim Acorn's whiskers and earhair? You have to do that?

Mmm, delicious, yogurt with bananas and strawberries. Sorry, I'm a picky eater.

Where'd the baseball cap come from? First a beret, now a baseball cap? Confused.

Melissa looks just like Emily Osment in the last picture.

That was dumb, but it didn't anger me as much as it did others. Lulu reminds me of myself sometimes. Ouch. The truth hurts. I'll go cry in a corner.
Tomorrow: The one about Mimi and Tongo (#14) or hopefully "Circus Pony"!

And stay out! or Pony Pals #12: Keep out, Pony!

Yeah, I know I said I'd wait for "Circus Pony" before I posted again, but I'm a pretty impatient person, and that little 7-year-old kid isn't reading fast enough. And I have 12-15 in my possession and no other books to read.... So "Circus Pony" will have to wait. I said that last time, didn't I? I've put a hold on #16 and I'm pretty excited about that one. Lulu gets in a tragic accident. But she doesn't die. Awwww.... And she has to conquer a fear of riding again. Sort of lame, but I'm looking forward to tragic accident. But on to "Keep Out, Pony!"



Plot: Pam is going on a ride with her buddy and partner-in-crime Lightning and her annoying dog Woolie when she comes upon a sheep pen in the middle of Pony Pal Trail! You all remember Pony Pal Trail, right? If you don't (I might have never told you about it), it's the mile-and-a-half trail that connects Pam and Anna's houses. Since Lulu now lives right next to Anna, it becomes EXTRA convenient for all the lil friends to meet and greet and...yeah. BUT THERE ARE SHEEP ON PONY PAL TRAIL! Anna and Lulu come upon the sheep, too, and all of them are very confoozed. Woolie isn't, however. He likes to bark at sheep, because he is a SHEEPDOG. Haha. Not.
GASP! The new owners of the property come to chase the Pony Pals away and tell them to NEVER TRESPASS ON THEIR PROPERTY AGAIN!!!
The Pony Pals are crushed. THEY LOVE PONY PAL TRAIL! But it does not love them back. So they try to think up ideas to get the Stewarts to let them back on the trail.
They write the Stewarts a nice letter.
No dice.
They invite the Stewarts over for a tea party!
The Stewarts accept the invitation...only to not attend due to their pregnant sheep.
It seems the Pony Pals will never get their trail back. But then, after trespassing on the Stewarts' property AGAIN, they find a newborn lamb stuck in the bushes. It got seperated from its mammy! They take care of it and put it back with its mammy, while Woolie watches the flock (awwwww). Mrs. Stewart comes home, finds the girls, and is furious...until she finds out they saved a lamb. This changes her mind about everything, and the Pony Pals get the trail back! Yaaaaaaaaaay!

More notes:
I hate Woolie. So Happy from "7th Heaven". It annoys me.

I want to know exactly what was going through Pam's head at that moment: Zut alors! Sheep!

Snow White scared of sheep. Hate.

Mr. Stewart comes out carrying a big stick. Wth? Violent much?

The stupid Pony Pals riff is back and its bigger than ever before.

"Pam brushed Woolie's golden bangs back with her fingers and looked into his eyes." That does NOT sound like they're referring to a dog.

The origins of the Pony Pal trail, how exciting. It can't be THAT secret. Come on, people LIVE on it.

These girls can eat a mess of brownies.

They only go riding on weekends? Together? Don't horses need more that?

If they live there and are building a sheep pen, I think they own.

"Cynthia Prindle Stewart"? What kind of name is that?

Who is Julie Rosen? Since when has she let the Pony Pals ride on her land? WHO IS THIS WOMAN?

Mr. Crandal is so mean. OMG, DAISY IS BACK! Remember her #6? They never reference other books, besides #1 and #2.

"Come on, Lightning. Do it for Woolie." That sounds wrong.

The girls congratulate each other for sneaking onto the Stewarts' property without being noticed.

Pam writes a letter. Part of it says, "Our ponies are very well-behaved." Um, isn't Acorn always being mischevious and running away from Anna? And doesn't Lightning get moody and bite people?

Heh. Mrs. Stewart sends Pam hatemail.

Pam is so pessimistic.

Wth, they're in 5th grade. What kind of school do they go to? 5th graders and 8th graders are schooled together and they all get LOCKERS? Unfair.

"Do something nice for the Stewarts." LIKE WHAT? LIKE WHAT?

What is it with these Wiggins-y people and free business? "Oh, my dad will build two gates in the sheep pen for FREE!"

Who uses the word "companion" in 5th grade? Actually, Kelvin did sometimes. Heh. Kelvin. I remember that kid.

Doesn't the second bell mean you're late? The Pony Pals are skipping class!!!

I agree, Pam. Throwing a grown-up party for the Stewarts is a bad idea.

They lie and tell Mrs. Stewart about a party that doesn't exist. Oh, wait, it's a TEA PARTY. For GROWN UPS.

Why is Ms. Wiggins in Paris???? Did she get bored with Conecticut and leave?

Apparently Lulu is a tea party expert.

Lol, for a whole page they discuss this and I totally pictured them with British accents.

What a wonderful menu.
Cucumber sandwhiches, a lamb cake (not made out of lambs), brownies, candy, fruit punch, tea.
Sounds like a little kid's birthday party. Minus the gross sandwhiches.

Okay, I'm probably just crazy, but COME ON, EDITORS!
*they see the lamb*
Anna: It's so cute.
Lulu: Look! There's ANOTHER baby lamb.
Anna: There's ANOTHER baby lamb.
Pam: She had twins!
What??? Didn't you just say there were three??? SO CONFUSED.

Dang, three babies? How many babies can sheep pop out?

Queenie is an awful name. And the lamb looks like a dog with a bad haircut.

Ew, picture of Mrs. Stewart. She's way old. I was totally picturing some newlyweds with a sheep fetish.

Again, the Pony Pals don't want to be paid to be sheep sitters. How ELSE are you going to pay for all those brownies you eat?

Anna's father is a carpenter? I thought he was a firefighter.....

Remind me how Lightning assisted in saving Pony Pal Trail. Really, I can't figure this out. She just acted crabby and comforted Pam in her despair. That's not that much of an accomplishment.

So that's that. I really want a lamb cake. I also finished the one about the city girl who hated ponies, so I'll post when I's done wif dis. Aaargh, the next one discussed the Pony Pals' lack of social skills. You'll see for yourselves.

Safe Sitters for losers, or Super Special #1: Pony Pals: The Baby Pony

I don't understand how this is a super special. It's only 91 pages, shorter than the longest Pony Pals book. I guess it's super because the author felt she had to write in three different personalities at once. What a challenge. Oh, and there are a few more pictures than normal.




Plot: Some random person drops a baby pony off at Crandal Animal Clinic (it has a name? I just thought if it as the Crandals' house). The pony is three days old and its mother died. The Pony Pals start to feed it, and love it, and take care of it for about 80 pages. But taking care of a pony is hard work.
A woman comes and tries to buy Baby Pony (they couldn't think up a better name than that). They refuse because the woman is mean and wants to sell him for a lot of money.
But then a little crying girl and her dad come along and the Pony Pals take pity on her because her own pony died. BUT THEY REFUSE THE MONEY AND ARE JUST HAPPY WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT BABY PONY HAS A GOOD HOME. The End. Snore.

More notes:
Pony Pal Trail is Anna's favorite place "in the world". Something tells me Anna doesn't get out of Wiggins very often.

No, I don't think about how I met my friends every time I see them.

"A bay-colored foal." Why can't they say bay and leave it at that?

"Lulu rubbed the foal's silky brown coat. It was the softest thing she'd ever touched." You've obviously never met Luke.

Geez, Pam, way to be dramatic. "'The foal has to start drinking soon-' Pam finished the sentence in a whisper. "-or he'll die.'"

Psyche, it turns out Lulu actually HAS been to Africa. But if that's true, why didn't Mr. Sanders want to take her on the elephant trip? Africa's pretty dangerous without poachers. Meaning lions and civil war.

They say "nipple" like 20 times on one page. It made me laugh.
Lulu: Maybe we can get the foal to drink from a bottle with a nipple. [Don't all bottles have nipples?]
Pam: Good idea.
Anna: Do we give him plain old milk?
Pam: It'd be better to give him mare's milk. My dad has some powdered mare's milk in the office. You stay with the foal and I'll go look.
Anna: We'll need a bottle with a nipple, too.

We have to listen to more stuff about Lulu's dead mother and how awful it is. We get it.

Another barrage of nipples....

If Pam hadn't been so selfish and drunk all the milk, they wouldn't be in this predicament! Shame, shame, shame....

Interesting...Jack and Jill are a year older, but the Pony Pals are still 10. This reminds me of the story about the lightbuckers.

They're milking a goat. Totally reminds me of Milk Off.

Pam, you are talking to a goat. What's wrong with you?

Jeanne Betancourt must like the word "nipple" because she uses it A LOT.

Wait...isn't taking care of animals Mr. Crandal's job? How come he doesn't have time to take care of a foal? It's not like he has a lot of clients. He only gets clients when one of the ponies gets sick or the Pony Pals find a cat, which they do quite often, I've noticed.

It's suddenly summer vacation? And more conveniently, it just STARTED, so the Pony Pals have plenty of time to hand rear a newborn foal!

Couldn't Mr. Olson do it? He's always at home and doesn't seem to have much of a life, as he frequently runs horse shows when he gets bored.... Yeah, I know, this coming from a girl who reads "Pony Pals" and blogs about it.

Sure, Anna. Because he is a adorable, it will be fun. Try baby-sitting sometime.

EWWWWWW there's a picture of the foal; he's bald and his neck is 10 feet thicker than his body.

Anna admits that she's crap at spelling. I'm proud of you, Anna.

And then she had to go and be all cocky about her artistic talents....

Pam is not a very good writer and she has bad grammar.

Ha ha, umbillicus is a funny word.

How do you know he misses his mother? He never really knew her, did he?

Um, WHAT? The Pony Pals will be LIVING at the Crandal's for the next few weeks. And their parents are OKAY WITH THIS???

There's a whole page on the Pony Pals and their attempts at making straw furniture. Yawn.

Yes. I can see a pony crawling under a fence. Not.

RED FLAG: Pam has her arm around Anna....

Oh, sure, it's normal for ponies to pound other ponies into a bloody pulp.... Wait...I thought a few books ago Pam was priding Lightning on being able to get along with strange ponies. I know Acorn has issues, but Lightning was pretty stellar in #6.

I wish they would stop calling him Baby Pony.

Bats. In the loft. Can you say RABIES?

Acorn is WAY too huge to be a Shetland. He's as tall as Lightning and is all lean and crap.

Anna is a gourmet cook?

This foal is vicious.

Pam and Lulu can't make up their minds about Baby Pony.
Pam: He's getting spoiled.
Lulu: He just wants a mother. You can't blame him for that. [Actually....]
*later*
Lulu: *trying to sleep* His feeding isn't for another hour.
Pam: He just wants company.

No, I don't think ponies tackling people is very cute behavior.

Whoever receives the Baby Pony Journal is going to be bored out of their minds.

They mention Baby doing a little jig pretty much every 5 seconds.

I think Anna's shirt says "Jail" on it. Jealous, I want a shirt like that.

More Snow White worship. Blah. I hate Snow White.

Snow White had a foal? How come we didn't hear about this earlier?

"...he did a little jig of joy." That, with the alliteration, does not sound cute.

Baby bites Lulu and they don't think this is a problem.

Baby tries to nurse from Snow White and she pushes him to the ground. Snow White is trying to teach Baby to man up.

Aw, cute picture. Snow White actually looks like a pony.

Anna: Snow White's a great baby sitter and teacher.
Why, because she's white?

Seriously, if the only other option was Lulu, I'd rather be called Lucinda. Or at least Lucy.

Of course there are no nursing mares available in Wiggins. Because only 5 people in Wiggins own ponies!!!

How come the Pony Pals never have to pay for the brownies Mrs. Harley makes them?

Mrs. Harley: When do you think you'll start sleeping at home again?
Anna: Not until we find a nursing mare for Baby Pony.
Pam: Just pretend Anna's at a sleep-away camp, Mrs. Harley.
Mrs. Harley: It sounds more like a work-away camp.
*cough cough* ISLAND LAKE. *cough cough*

Anna: Sand. What a pretty name for a horse. I bet she's a Palomino.
I'll bet she isn't.

Lol, I want a yellow convertible.

I agree! Baby is no name for a horse! It's right up there with all the other annoying overused names for animals.
Overused animal names: Baby, Oreo, Blackie, Brownie, Whitey, Tabby, Lucky, Muffin, Patches, Smokey
I like the name Oreo, tho. It's just that everyone who gets a black and white hamster is all, "OMFG, OREO!"

Heh. Victoria's horse is named Perfection. I'm totally getting a horse and naming him Irony.

The Pony Pals don't want to sell Baby Pony to Victoria Winters because she wants to train him and sell him for a lot of money. Uh, yeah, that's some people's JOB. That's so stupid, tho. Once they buy him, they can do whatever they want with him. Suck it up.

Whatever. Ponies are worth way more than $100.

OH NO! A HORSE NAMED FRECKLES! How I despise that name. That's right up there next to Blackie and Brownie.

Wait...Freckles is a horse...YES! HORSES DO EXIST IN "PONY PALS"!

Eve, Freckles' owner, is way annoying. "I would've taken care of my foal if he hadn't died. That's what my foal would've looked like. My foal would've eaten that grass. My foal would've voted Republican, bla bla bla...."

They rub the smell of Freckles' dead colt all over Baby Pony. Um, creepy??

WHAT? They decide to give Baby Pony away and will accept no money. I noticed Mr. Crandal isn't here to oversee this transaction. I bet he'll be mad when he finds out....

OH NO, SHE NAMES HIM LUCKY! *see list*

I'm sorry, I just really hate the name Lucky for a horse. Especially for a "witty" reason. "His name is Lucky, because I'm so lucky to have him." "His name is Lucky because he's my good luck charm!" "His name is Lucky because he's green like a Care Bear!" "Say whaaaat?"

And you thought Anna's handwriting was bad...Eve's is even worse.
Eve, Lucky, Freckles, and her dad are never heard from again....

Yeah. That was not enjoyable. I'm still waiting on "Circus Pony", but if it doesn't come in 2 days, I'll start reading "Keep Out, Pony" (#12) and "The Girl Who Hated Ponies" (#13). I also have "Pony Sitters" (#14) and "The Blind Pony" (#15), but those are painful to read.

I'd die for her, or Pony Pals #10: Don't Hurt My Pony

I remember really liking this one. Really, 10-12 were like the best books I'd ever read. Although, rereading it today, I'm not quite sure why. And it's only 77 pages, which is like 20 pages shorter than the average Pony Pals book. Dang. I told you they were getting shorter.
Also, I'm going to have to wait for stupid #11 to come, because someone else checked it out. I mean, forget the fact that I've had a hold on it for...a long time, but IT WAS PROBABLY SOME LITTLE KID, TOO!! AND LITTLE KIDS DON'T READ 77 PAGE BOOKS VERY FAST! I SHOULD KNOW!!!
It just curdles my beans.



Lulu looks interesting. She looks different in every picture in this book. Lulu must have a thing for plastic surgery. And Snow White looks like a mule. Hate.

Plot: The Pony Pals are just so adventurous and woodsy! Their parents have agreed to let them have a three day camping trip on Ms. Wiggins' property! Ooh, how exciting. I was never one for camping. Wierdos. But on their way to the campsite, Snow White steps in a trap. You can all gasp now. Lulu manages to get the trap off, but is convinced that some evil poachers are trying to kill her pony.
Yeah. Because everyone knows poachers trap ponies. In the woods. In Conneticutt.
Lulu tells Pam and Anna about the traps, and they go into the woods to find more so they can protect Bambi and friends from must certain death. While they are doing this, Tommy Rand and Mike Lacey come and make fun of them, bla bla bla bla.
Gasp! It turns out Tommy and Mike are the poachers!
The Pony Pals race to Ms. Wiggins' house after collecting evidence (one lousy picture of Tommy holding a trap) and tell her the whole story. Ms. Wiggins confronts the boys and ends up giving Mike a job because he's poor. SO LAME.

More notes:
In the beginning, Lulu is all sobbing because her dad won't let her come with him to Africa so they can watch elephants. And yet every time he tries to take her to Africa, she's like, "NO, I WANT TO STAY WITH MY FRIENDZ AND PONIEZ!!!"

He says she would hate it because they will be living in difficult conditions. And yet she's going CAMPING??

"I've been on hard trips with you before!" Since when. I'm trying to remember.

"They're are a lot of poachers where I'm going. They're shooting the elephants for their tusks. It's too dangerous to bring you." Wait, so Lulu might get shot? Man, now I'm sad she can't go.

MORE PETA MESSAGES. And it's not like I'm pro-poaching, but Mrs. Betancourt definitely has an agenda here.

The only restaurant in town is the Off-Main Diner. What? Not even a Pizza Hut? Or a McDonalds? STARBUCKS????

Lulu is apparently a really good tracker. Like Aragon.

Ew, weird picture. Lulu: Another face lift. Snow White: Still looks like a mule. Bunny: Looks just like Luke.

Snow White weighs a lot more than you do, Lulu, and you're 10. There's probably not a lot you can do to protect her.

Lulu looks like Emily Rose in the next picture. Exorcism, anyone?

Why would you say "full of fun"? Why couldn't you say "fun"?

The blurb on the Pony Pals is really short this time. Huh. I guess the author is learning....

Just because Pam is smart means she is a crappy artist.

Yeah. Yelling loudly in the woods with poachers about. Good plan.

Tuna sandwhiches, fruit salad, and brownies! What a feast!

Pam: Are you all right? You look funny.
Lulu: You scared me. I thought you were the poacher.
Anna: Poacher? What are you talking about?
I think Anna was having a Jon Reep moment. "Momma! Daddy's on the crack corn!" Lulu needs to go to rehab.

Pam, I know people are supposed to put their names on their traps, but that's like writing your name on a murder weapon. So these poachers were breaking the law, yes, but they weren't stupid.

Come on, Anna. I know what a pelt is. Pam knows what a pelt is. EVERYONE knows what a pelt is.

I thought Acorn was the one with good detective skills. Whatever.

Yes, Anna, we know you're not supposed to stick your hand in traps.

You can't really catch a trap. Just saying.

They think it's amazing that Snow White can smell a fish lure. HOW COULD YOU NOT?

Nice high-waisted jeans, Lulu. Actually, I think I have a pair just like those. Now I have incentive to never wear them again.

"Lulu could see that Tommy and Mike were startled when they first saw a big white animal on the trail. But then they realized it was just a pony, they kept coming toward the three girls." Well, yeah. What else could it be, besides a pony? A POLAR BEAR? "Lost", much?

Oh, how amusing.
Tommy: Hey, Mike. I think I just saw some strange bugs.
Mike: You mean bugs like pests?
Tommy: Yeah. Oh, I see. It's the Pony Pests.
Mike: I guess the Pony Pests ride their little ponies around here.
Tommy: Their little pesty ponies.
Really, though, they're in 8th grade. They're not that retarded.

Tommy tries to pet Snow White and Lulu has a spaz attack. "S-S-S-S-STOP ATTACKING MY PONY GRAWR!"

"Let's go, Tommy, before I fall asleep from boredom!" Sooooo funny.

If the Pony Pals care so much about colic, why is Lulu giving Snow White 50 bajillion carrots?

Ms. Wiggins would NEVER let jerks ride on her property! Um, hello, she lets little annoying 10-year-olds ride on her property. I don't think jerks are much worse.

Pam says "maybe" a lot in this book.

They use the word "silly" to describe the Pony Pest jokes. Aaaagh.

More boy humor. This is so lame.

More PETA.

Gee, someone's trapping out in the woods, where there's no one to hear you scream. That's a good reason NOT to tell your grandma what's going on. Lame.

I want what Anna's smoking, if she can wake up at 5:00 happy and cheerful. This happened in #7, too. ANNA'S ON THE CRACK CORN...but I don't care.

Acorn and Lightning are mentioned ONCE in this book, and then it's more Snow White worship.

"Fox...dollars...better than raccoon. Why...traps...broken?" Maybe the poachers took English as a second language.

"We haven't caught nothin'!" What a beautiful sentence. Tommy, you are a genius.

Mike is way sensitive.

Wait. It's against the law for kids to trap, yet my little brother's friend has a hunting license. I'm going to check that law.

I don't understand Anna's idea. It's a bunch of arrows and pictures and bad spelling.

PAM, YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT! She thinks they should TALK to Tommy and Mike and tell them that trapping is wrong. Because they're 8th grade boys and they'll listen to your jargon.

Really, how many animals do you think are in danger? Those traps were out for a while before you came along and no one had been caught then.

I think it's ironic that this chapter is called "Trapped!". Heh. It brought my hopes up, though. I was hoping for death and violence.

"She loves all the animals and wants to protect them." Right. If I were Tommy and Mike, I'd make fun of her, too.

I have to admit, venison lasagna is pretty tasty....

The rabbit part is a little annoying, though. "POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW!"

WHY DO THEY GO TO SCHOOL WITH TOMMY AND MIKE? THEY'RE IN 5TH GRADE!!! What kind of school do they go to, anyways?

Yay, Lulu is actually good at something for once.

That's why you turn off the flash BEFORE you take the picture.

"And because the girls were smaller than the boys, they could move faster through the dense part of the woods." Yeah, but they have longer legs.

Since when does Anna wear a headband?

If two boys are riding mountain bikes at top speed and you are trotting, it is VERY LIKELY THAT THEY WILL BEAT YOU.

The trail is too twisty for galloping. But Lulu makes Snow White gallop two seconds after thinking that.

There's a woman in front of Ms. Wiggins' house. It's Ms. Wiggins! DUH. She only lives there.

The boys were right on their heels, and yet it takes them half an hour to catch up with Pony Pals. LAAAAME.

Being mean is a good reason to go to jail. Not.

Ms. Wiggins: The girls can stay. We're talking about something that concerns them. They're worried about the safety of the animals in my woods. So am I.
Tommy: I told you they were tattletales.
COME ON, TOMMY! I thought you didn't want to get CAUGHT! You basically ADMITTED EVERYTHING! You just screwed yourself over.

Pam has to correct everyone.

Lulu is so mean.
Mike: My father taught me how to trap. We used to do it together. But with permits and everything legal.
Lulu: What father?
*flinch*

Didn't Mr. Lacey used to live in Ohio? Now he lives in Chicago. Guess she forgot?

"He gave me the traps. They were like a present from him." Uh, yeah. Technically when someone gives you something, it is a present.

I doubt trapping animals is going to get you enough for a plane ticket to Chicago.

She gives Mike a job because he's poor and has no father. That's...nice.

The last picture looks just like one from a previous book. SNOW WHITE, SO UGLY.

Only Snow White gets to be in the picture. Because she's a little detective pants.

That one was way boring. I'll get "Circus Pony" one of these days.

Oh, forget it.

It's too hard to go in series order. I have #10, #12, and #13 is waiting for me at the library, so forget the stupid Super Special. I'll just throw that in when I finally get it.
But where the heck is "Circus Pony"? The library says it's being transferred between libraries. Seriously? The distance between Bremerton and Bainbridge is not that great, last time I checked. HURRY UP!!!
Although "Circus" Pony is so not worth it. Anna wants to join the circus, but her parents think she's too stupid or something and the Pony Pals are somewhat helpful/selfish by telling her that that's a loser idea and she's not supposed to abandon them.
Groan.
How is it that I just basically described 100 pages worth of book in 1 sentence? I guess I could do that for all the books....
But this is way fun.
#10: Don't Hurt My Pony is coming soon!