Plot: We're back with Josie Grace, the annoying British girl with a love of horses. This time, however, they're getting rid of Hope, the "ugly" horse.
And no one likes Hope because she's SOOOOOOOOOOO ugly.
Yeah, people are SO AWFUL.
So all Josie does is walk around feeling depressed the entire time, because no one likes Hope, and then this old woman from an animal sanctuary offers to buy her, and Josie is like, "NO WAY!!!"
Um, nice, Josie.
Moron.
So this woman in charge of a home for...for...I think it's either abused children or children with ADHD...something. Anyway, the children go there to get professional care and love and stuff, and the woman wants to use Hope for all that fun stuff.
Mary Grace is all, "I don't know," but then the kids come and jump on Hope and don't think she's ugly, and Hope loves it.
Yaaay.
Laaaaaaaame.
More notes:
Hope looks fine to me on the cover, and I really doubt that people make THAT big a deal about how she looks. Stupid.
Yay, lying is condoned.
Okay, all they do in this book is go, "Oh, poor Hope, she's soooo ugly. She'll never be sold." Well, no, not with THAT kind of attitude.
I just think this is weird:
Tom: And how's Jill coping? I used to look after her chestnut horse, Marmalade, you know. She was so upset when he had to be sold.
Not only is Marmalade BAY (totally different from chestnut), but why did he feel the need to throw "chestnut" in there? You could've just said, "...after her horse, Marmalade..." IT JUST WEIRDS ME OUT!! IT SOUNDS SO WRONG!!!
Okay, I can kind of see why people wouldn't want to buy Faith, because I have a HUUUGE prejudice against albino horses, and get really grossed out whenever I see one. Like, they seriously make me want to vomit.
I've noticed that every chapter ends with Josie either saying something moving/touching/emotional or thinking something desperate or sad.
Example: What if no one would look beyond Hope's plain appearance and see her sweet nature? What would happen then?
"She liked Ben, though they weren't best friends in the way that she and Anna were."
Umm...that makes it sound like everyone she knows HAS to be her best friend. Or is that just me??? AARGH.
If you were trotting, wouldn't you be thrown back and forth, not side to side? Just wondering.
Oh dear, Hope gets sweet itch!!!
Okay, it really annoys me when people that are the teensiest bit older than me are all, "Respect your elders." It kind of peeves me off and 9 times out of 10 I'm bigger than they are, so it's like, "Do you REALLY want to mess with this??"
"I'm not a beginner. I've had five lessons."
Oh, then that means I'm a freaking expert.
I suppose we as readers are supposed to be proud of Mary Grace for standing up for Hope and herself, but she gets pwned comeback wise.
Josie's father is putting on a musical. What teacher in his right mind would put on "Grease"? Ugh, I hate what Josie says.
"They're doing a version of Grease - you know, that rock-and-roll musical. John Travolta was in the film."
Um, duh. I personally don't know anybody who hasn't heard of Grease.
I don't know why EVERYONE is so opposed to Hope having to go to the animal sanctuary. People give up their dogs and cats to the Humane Society when they want them to find a good home, so why is it a bad idea for horses???
Haaaa. "There was something moving in Mrs. Peabody's bosom!" Chestburster!!
Aaaw, it turns out to be a baby bat. I love bats.
Wth, Anna and Ben have dark hair, eyes, and olive skin. Their mom has blonde hair and blue eyes. ???????? IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE??
Okay, Josie and Anna are out on a ride when these boys start harassing them. Hm, they're on bikes and are in 8th grade...sound familiar?? Anna's all, "Ignore them." !!!!!!! Yeah, thanks, it never WORKS.
BAM!
Tommy Rand (JK!): Look at the ugly one! What's the matter with her? Looks like all her hair's dropping out. Couldn't you find a better horse to ride than that old nag?
Anna: She's got a horse version of acne. Something you'd know all about. Maybe there's a good cream you could recommend?
Ugh, and Josie's all, "You're making it worse!" Picturing her with her snotty British accent and breathy voice. HATE HATE HATE.
Oooh, that boy's mad, he just called you a Stuck-Up Princess!!!
Yeah, very classy, Dad. "You shouldn't be sad, I'M the one trapped with teenagers singing showtunes!"
Josie is amazed that a kid her age could draw well. Or more like because SHE can't draw like Michelangelo, no one else should.
Why would you want to go see some stables if there are no horses in them, when you could be looking at RABBITS??
"Oh no, you don't want Hope. She's a bit stocky with quite a broad back."
Like abused/neglected/afflicted children are going to care. I wouldn't. Um, unless it was albino....
Josie: Oh, stop! I think I like the old, tactless Anna better!
:O That's so mean. I'd be so offended if one of my friends said that to me. Okay, whenever Anna semi-insults Josie, Josie freaks out, but whenever she insults Anna, it's comic relief?
No, no, don't tell a story, please, Josie, NOOOOO.
Tommy just randomly screams??
OH NO, one of the children that comes to visit Hope is BLIND!! Aaagh, I know where they're going with this: they're going to make a big deal about her being blind, so she doesn't care how a horse looks!! NOOOO, this is NOT the Lifetime Channel!!
There she goes again, getting choked up.
Aaah, I started drooling when they were talking about Chinese food.
Lol, chinois. Je ne parle japonais. Tu parles japonais??
Lynne, Anna's mom, is wearing a denim shirt.
Ugh, Lynne and Josie point out in front of everybody that Anna is tactless. Sooo mean.
WHY DO THEY ALWAYS HAVE TO VOTE ON EVERYTHING?? It's so obvious that Hope is perfect with children and would love to live at the Friendship House.
"Apples, carrots, and turnips had been hung across the lower part of the stable doors, and Hope and Charity were busy nibbling them off their strings."
What? That sounds like a colic situation. The Pony Pals would not approve.
Whaaa?? "The joint's jumping." That sounds rad, cat. Golly gee, I sure darn wish there was a hop tonight, so we could all JAM!!
Ugh, and the book ends with a bunch of little kids all hugging and kissing Hope and Hope looking SOOO happy. Gag.
So yeah. A VERY, VERY awful Unicorns of Balinor tomorrow. If you don't hate Ari now, you most likely will tomorrow. Maybe a Madison Finn if I'm not busy.
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