I've decided to stop posting on this blog.
Mostly because I haven't posted in a long time, and I found posting itself was getting tiresome.
Then, reading through some of the very first Pony Pals posts, it wasn't very funny. It was just lame, loud, and sort of crude, and the writer sounded like she took herself way seriously. I bet other people feel the same way.
By the way, not many people read this blog, so I wouldn't be letting down too many people by retiring.
Finally. Now I can just finish the Madison Finn series without marking every little page with a ripped up piece of sticky note and damaging the book's spine.
If any of you DO care, I will tell you what happens in the final 4 books in the series: #21, #22, Super Special #2, and Super Special #3.
If not, I'll keep to myself.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
NYC is sparkly and glamorous, despite the muggings, or FTFO Madison Finn #20: All That Glitters
I like how Madison's lived in New York all this time, but has never been to New York City. Oh, now I want to go.
Plot: It's Lindsay Frost's 13th birthday, and she's invited Madison, Aimee, and Fiona to spend it with her in NYC! There will be endless shopping, cake, and sparkles, all thanks to Lindsay's naturally-high Aunt Mimi.
But the birthday weekend doesn't go so well. Lindsay's parents are in the middle of a divorce and her dad even skips the birthday dinner! It's the worst birthday ever.
But, though Fiona and Aimee aren't able to, Madison comforts her friend, seeing as she's experience divorce before, and makes the birthday weekend even better.
Um, that's about it. Nothing really significant happens.
More notes:
Agh, Nancy Drew books. I think Nancy Drew was a Mary Sue.
Madison takes Phin to a dog park. Jealous!! I wish they had one in my area. Tie would probably hate it, though.
Surprise. She runs into Drew and Hart.
Drew: I invited everyone over to my house this afternoon; sort of a last-minute thing. We thought of it when we were playing hockey. Want to come?
Hart: Yeah. I'll be there. *HINT HINT HINT*
"Madison didn't know how to answer. It was one of those scary moments. If she had been honest with herself - and with everyone else, especially Hart - she would have jumped right over the dog-run fence, fallen into Hart's arms, and declared, 'You'll be there? Well, let's go right now!'"
It would have been so entertaining if you had, Madison.
As soon as Hart leaves, Madison ends up tripping over 5 or 6 dogs and falling on her butt.
That was beautifully timed. You were lucky.
Uh-oh. Drew, Elaine, and Hart are the only ones there.
Is this some kind of twisted double date?? AWKWARD.
Nope. Everyone else showed up 5 seconds later. Crisis averted.
Awww, Madison and Hart held hands.
Whoa, and she sat on his lap, and they ate pizza.
*shudder* Boundaries, people.
But the thing Madison is most affected by is the fact that their knees WERE PRACTICALLY TOUCHING!!!
Um.......okay.
But, in spite of all of this, he didn't ask her out. Mixed messages much?
Madison thinks she and Hart are destined for one another, because her past relationships (i.e, summer flings, older boys, etc.) didn't last.
Holy crap. Lindsay's parents will be paying for ALL the shopping, dining, and transportation for the birthday weekend. How rich are they??
Lindsay's Aunt Mimi is super creepy. She reminds me of the Weezy on "Dragon Tales". Not like I've ever watched "Dragon Tales", or anything.
Apparently Aunt Mimi got rich from making a bunch of "magic" cosmetics.
She's also dated several big movie stars, and for one of Lindsay's birthdays, she rented a circus tent (complete with elephant).
I don't know, read this, and tell me if you want to slap Mimi, too.
Madison: I'm glad to meet you by phone. Can you tell Lindsay that I called?
Mimi: Sweetums, you haven't even told me your name!
Madison: Oh, I'm Madison Finn.
Mimi: Madison! Did you say Madison? Is this the Madison?
Madison: Uh, yeah, I guess.
Mimi: Awww! I knwo you! Lindsay has told me gobs and oodles about you. My goodness! How are you? How's your pooch? You're the one with a pug, right?
Madison: Right.
Mimi: So you'll be coming to the big glittery bash in the Big Apple! Fah-bulous!
Madison: Will you tell Lindsay I called?
Mimi: Hey! Does a mosquito bite? You betcha I will!
The voice I'm hearing in my head is grating.
I'd be super embarrassed if one of my friends screamed, "Hello, party girls!" in the hall.
Which Lindsay does.
What?? Lindsay doesn't want any presents!! What kind of teenager is she??
Aimee wants to go shopping.
Fiona wants to visit the Empire State Building.
Madison wants to visit the American Museum of Natural History and Central Park.
Sounds...fun, Madison.
Whaat?? Hart just randomly throws his arm around Madison's shoulder, all comrade-y like. It's kind of creepy. BOUNDARIES!
Okay, so Hart put his arm around Madison's shoulder. Fiona's like, "OMG, YOU GUYS WERE PRACTICALLY MAKING OUT!!!"
Yeah...there's a little more physical contact involved there, Fiona.
The school is giving a PSAT for 7th graders?? How random!
Madison jokingly sticks her tongue out at Hart and he somehow thinks she wants to break up.
Are you kidding?? This is so stupid.
Lindsay wants to know if they can study for the standardized test while they're in New York. There's not much you can do to study for a standardized test.
She even threatens to cancel so they can all study together!!!
Something tells me you won't have any friends if you do that.
Okay. Turns out Hart wasn't phased by the tongue thing.
Madison: I was writing in my online journal. I keep these computer files....
Hart: Files? What's in the files?
Madison: *thinking* Duh! What do you think? All my daydreams about you, dork! *thinking*
Lol.
Hart asks her out!! Finally!!!
He wants to take her to a car show, though. Hmmmm....
Beggars can't be choosers, I guess.
Uh-oh. He wants to go THIS Saturday. The day of the PARTY!
Madison declines.
Hart thinks she's turning him down.
He runs off to go drown his sorrow in the Emo corner.
And now they can't ever go out again because Hart's dad will be working for the next couple Saturdays, sooo...
Soooo....what does that mean?? Have Madison's mom or whatever take you!
Madison's friends are no comfort. They're like, "You rejected him! You blew it! Well, not really, but that's how he sees it!"
Agh. You're 12, Madison. I doubt you are actually IN LOVE with Hart.
Well, now we know Madison's password, which is "IHEARTHART".
-_-
Argh. Madison wants to ditch the party so she can go out with Hart. Car show...or overnight stay in New York City?? You choose.
Aimee still sucks.
Whaaaat...they're all going on the train by themselves. Well, they'll be together, but still. That would scare the crap out of me.
Each girl gets a "Birthday Pass" with stuff they're going to do during the weekend. That's kind of really cool, no lie.
Fiona shows the conductor her Birthday Pass as a joke, and the conductor has no sense of humor and is all, "WHERE IS YOUR TICKET, STOWAWAY!?"
Aunt Mimi shows up wearing a cape. Wth?? Who is she, Zorro?
Lindsay: What do you think so far?
Madison: Your aunt is amazing.
Lindsay: I know. But I don't know how she and my mom could possibyl be sisters.
Madison: Your mom is nice, too.
Lindsay: Yeah, but she isn't cool, not like Aunt Mimi.
Madison: Are any moms truly cool? [Too true.]
Lindsay: Your mom is. She makes movies. She travels all over the world.
Madison: But she doesn't wear fur hats or capes.
Oh, how I wish my mom would wear fur hats or capes. Then she would truly be cool.
Have you ever bought something just because it was on sale?? That has to be the reason Aimee bought a pink leotard with flowers around the neck, not that those things don't ooze "cool".
HOLY CRAP! Aunt Mimi has her own FLOOR! Now I don't doubt that she can afford to pay for all these girls' misadventures.
I'm sorry, but it's super awkward when someone starts crying. I know I do it, but it's weird when someone else does it.
And Lindsay just randomly bursts into tears, saying cryptic things, like, "Everything is fine, which means everything is not fine. It's the same as usual."
Aimee and Fiona think Lindsay is sad because she misses her parents and because she's afraid of becoming a teenager.
Madison is like, "Wth, I know why she's sad. Morons."
Mimi redecorates every 3 months!!? That's just a waste of money.
Aimee wonders if Mimi is as rich as Drew, but Lindsay concludes that Drew's family must be richer because he owns 2 houses, but Aunt Mimi has one apartment and stays in the nicest hotels the rest of the time.
In that case, Aunt Mimi is much richer than they are.
Lindsay is sad because her dad hasn't called. Oh.
Ivy e-mails Madison because it turns out Madison accidentally took Ivy's science notebook.
Lindsay: I bet there's juicy gossip inside that book.
Madison: I wonder. But I guess even Ivy's allowed to have a secret journal.
She's come a long way from, "IVY IS SUCH A LIAR, I MUST PEEK AT HER NOTEBOOK!"
Awwww. Lindsay's dad moved out and she's afraid he hates her. :(
Aunt Mimi has red hair. For someone reason, I pictured her with pink hair.
Fiona: What does turning into a teenager realy mean, anyway?
Aimee: It means you can drive. You can date. You can vote.
Lindsay: Aim! I can't do any of those things.
Aimee: Not yet. But soon. Well, sort of soon.
Uh, not sort of soon. I'm 15 and I still can't do any of those things.
Lindsay has nothing to wear, so everyone lends her some clothes and she ends up with the outfit she's wearing on the cover. Everyone else is like, "OMG, YOU LOOK SO FAB," but...? I don't know. I like the boots, though.
Daaang. Aunt Mimi buys them all sunglasses so they can "get their cool on". Of course, Madison gets orange ones.
Argh. I wish I could WEAR sunglasses. I find these Cover All sunglasses that go over perscription lenses, but my mom was like, "Nice try."
Aimee can't stop staring at her reflection. Yay, a born narcissist!
How come it's funny when Aimee does it, though, but stuck-up when Ivy does it?
Yay, they all get makeovers. Best birthday ever.
I'm going to make some hot chocolate and FREEZE IT.
Despite all this mad fun, Madison wishes Hart were with her so they could drink Frrrozen Hot Chocolate and make out afterwards.
NO LIE, THAT'S WHAT SHE SAYS...sort of.
Hahaha, they take a special stop for Madison and go to Madison Avenue!! I cannot breathe for laughing.
Shopping...or the planetarium. Shopping...planetarium...shopping...planetarium...
I don't know...will there be shopping at the planetarium??
Okay, now I think Lindsay just wants attention. Aimee and Fiona shift their attention to some cute guys and all of a sudden, Lindsay's sobbing. "Are you okay, Lindsay?" "Oh, yes, I just miss my dad." -_-
Aunt Mimi refuses to let the girls stalk the cute boys. Good plan.
"It didn't matter how much you like someone. If there was a really cute or Cute (with a capital C) guy in the room, checking him out was necessary."
That should be the Golden Rule.
"If this is the city that never sleeps, then why I am so tired?"
Wouldn't you be tired if you never slept? That makes perfect sense.
The best part of the day for Madison was buying super bouncy balls and a foil sticker at the gift shop.
How thrilling.
Fiona spills wine all over Aunt Mimi's cream-colored scarf. That scarf is a goner. But Aunt Mimi doesn't seem to mind.
What was Fiona doing with wine in the first place?
Lindsay's dad doesn't show up to the birthday dinner. :(
But she pouts the entire time. Not awkward or anything.
Madison: Ever hear the one about the birthday cat?
Mrs. Frost: No, I have not.
Aunt Mimi: Tell us, Maddie!
Madison: Well...I...I...forgot.
For some reason, that's the funniest joke I've ever heard.
Awww, they don't get to eat cake because Lindsay wants to go home. So they get it to go.
Sorry to be unempathetic or callous, but that's probably the saddest thing about the whole evening. It was CHOCOLATE cake.
Lindsay gets a fantasy book, a tapestry backpack (kewl), a giftcard to Aimee's Dad's bookstore, and theater tickets (from her mom).
Madison gets her this necklace with a book charm, which is supposed to be clever or something.
At least she didn't recycle her snow bunnies charm.
Dad finally shows up...but Lindsay's not mad. No, she's...excited?
Madison's the only one who gets why she feels that way.
Agh, so awkward between parents.
And Lindsay keeps being all, "Oh, Daddy!!!"
And her dad gets her...theater tickets.
Uh-oh.
There's this random paragraph about Aimee's dream to dance in The Nutcracker Suite. "She knew that that was a big, big dream."
WHO CARES??? This book isn't about Aimee!!
Girl talk!! It turns out Lindsay likes...Dan??
"I mean, he's always funny and nice, and he talks about books with me sometimes in the library."
Awwww...
Bigwheels is gushing about Reggie again, and how he got her this adorable purple bear, and she wonders if they could possibly be "in love".
Aaagh. Lol, then she mentions her friend's feelings on the matter.
"My friend Lainie would freak at the thought. She doesn't even really LIKE boys. She never has gone out with one or followed one in school or even said much about thinking they're cute."
I have friends like that...and they're not gay.
AGH. Lindsay starts spazzing out about the test. And crying. AGAIN.
So Aunt Mimi brings out the chocolate cake they couldn't eat last night. YAY!!!
Fiona coyly suggests that Lindsay wish Dan would like her back for her birthday wish, and Mrs. Frost is like, "DAN! DAN! LINDSAY, IS THERE SOME BOY YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME ABOUT??"
WHAAAT? The cake last night was CHOCOLATE!! But this cake is white with purple icing!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
They study for the test on the train. I'm sure that was fun. Aimee's like, "Nooo, I want to play Mash or Truth or Dare."
Eddie (Bigwheel's autistic brother) learned some more words! Yay!
Egg told Fiona that his sister told him that the standardized test is not worth worrying about.
Nice job, Lindsay. Way to freak out over NOTHING.
Hart gives Madison the silent treatment.
How mature.
After getting rejected last week, Hart decides to ask Madison out via note rather than face-to-face.
But at least he asked her out.
Madison's Computer Tip:
When you need to thank someone or send a birthday card or any greeting card, use an E-card service.
#21 is next, and that one wasn't so good, but whatever, I have nothing else to do, and the Maytag man is upstairs and I'm in my pajamas, so I can't go up there. I guess I'm stuck with you guys.
Plot: It's Lindsay Frost's 13th birthday, and she's invited Madison, Aimee, and Fiona to spend it with her in NYC! There will be endless shopping, cake, and sparkles, all thanks to Lindsay's naturally-high Aunt Mimi.
But the birthday weekend doesn't go so well. Lindsay's parents are in the middle of a divorce and her dad even skips the birthday dinner! It's the worst birthday ever.
But, though Fiona and Aimee aren't able to, Madison comforts her friend, seeing as she's experience divorce before, and makes the birthday weekend even better.
Um, that's about it. Nothing really significant happens.
More notes:
Agh, Nancy Drew books. I think Nancy Drew was a Mary Sue.
Madison takes Phin to a dog park. Jealous!! I wish they had one in my area. Tie would probably hate it, though.
Surprise. She runs into Drew and Hart.
Drew: I invited everyone over to my house this afternoon; sort of a last-minute thing. We thought of it when we were playing hockey. Want to come?
Hart: Yeah. I'll be there. *HINT HINT HINT*
"Madison didn't know how to answer. It was one of those scary moments. If she had been honest with herself - and with everyone else, especially Hart - she would have jumped right over the dog-run fence, fallen into Hart's arms, and declared, 'You'll be there? Well, let's go right now!'"
It would have been so entertaining if you had, Madison.
As soon as Hart leaves, Madison ends up tripping over 5 or 6 dogs and falling on her butt.
That was beautifully timed. You were lucky.
Uh-oh. Drew, Elaine, and Hart are the only ones there.
Is this some kind of twisted double date?? AWKWARD.
Nope. Everyone else showed up 5 seconds later. Crisis averted.
Awww, Madison and Hart held hands.
Whoa, and she sat on his lap, and they ate pizza.
*shudder* Boundaries, people.
But the thing Madison is most affected by is the fact that their knees WERE PRACTICALLY TOUCHING!!!
Um.......okay.
But, in spite of all of this, he didn't ask her out. Mixed messages much?
Madison thinks she and Hart are destined for one another, because her past relationships (i.e, summer flings, older boys, etc.) didn't last.
Holy crap. Lindsay's parents will be paying for ALL the shopping, dining, and transportation for the birthday weekend. How rich are they??
Lindsay's Aunt Mimi is super creepy. She reminds me of the Weezy on "Dragon Tales". Not like I've ever watched "Dragon Tales", or anything.
Apparently Aunt Mimi got rich from making a bunch of "magic" cosmetics.
She's also dated several big movie stars, and for one of Lindsay's birthdays, she rented a circus tent (complete with elephant).
I don't know, read this, and tell me if you want to slap Mimi, too.
Madison: I'm glad to meet you by phone. Can you tell Lindsay that I called?
Mimi: Sweetums, you haven't even told me your name!
Madison: Oh, I'm Madison Finn.
Mimi: Madison! Did you say Madison? Is this the Madison?
Madison: Uh, yeah, I guess.
Mimi: Awww! I knwo you! Lindsay has told me gobs and oodles about you. My goodness! How are you? How's your pooch? You're the one with a pug, right?
Madison: Right.
Mimi: So you'll be coming to the big glittery bash in the Big Apple! Fah-bulous!
Madison: Will you tell Lindsay I called?
Mimi: Hey! Does a mosquito bite? You betcha I will!
The voice I'm hearing in my head is grating.
I'd be super embarrassed if one of my friends screamed, "Hello, party girls!" in the hall.
Which Lindsay does.
What?? Lindsay doesn't want any presents!! What kind of teenager is she??
Aimee wants to go shopping.
Fiona wants to visit the Empire State Building.
Madison wants to visit the American Museum of Natural History and Central Park.
Sounds...fun, Madison.
Whaat?? Hart just randomly throws his arm around Madison's shoulder, all comrade-y like. It's kind of creepy. BOUNDARIES!
Okay, so Hart put his arm around Madison's shoulder. Fiona's like, "OMG, YOU GUYS WERE PRACTICALLY MAKING OUT!!!"
Yeah...there's a little more physical contact involved there, Fiona.
The school is giving a PSAT for 7th graders?? How random!
Madison jokingly sticks her tongue out at Hart and he somehow thinks she wants to break up.
Are you kidding?? This is so stupid.
Lindsay wants to know if they can study for the standardized test while they're in New York. There's not much you can do to study for a standardized test.
She even threatens to cancel so they can all study together!!!
Something tells me you won't have any friends if you do that.
Okay. Turns out Hart wasn't phased by the tongue thing.
Madison: I was writing in my online journal. I keep these computer files....
Hart: Files? What's in the files?
Madison: *thinking* Duh! What do you think? All my daydreams about you, dork! *thinking*
Lol.
Hart asks her out!! Finally!!!
He wants to take her to a car show, though. Hmmmm....
Beggars can't be choosers, I guess.
Uh-oh. He wants to go THIS Saturday. The day of the PARTY!
Madison declines.
Hart thinks she's turning him down.
He runs off to go drown his sorrow in the Emo corner.
And now they can't ever go out again because Hart's dad will be working for the next couple Saturdays, sooo...
Soooo....what does that mean?? Have Madison's mom or whatever take you!
Madison's friends are no comfort. They're like, "You rejected him! You blew it! Well, not really, but that's how he sees it!"
Agh. You're 12, Madison. I doubt you are actually IN LOVE with Hart.
Well, now we know Madison's password, which is "IHEARTHART".
-_-
Argh. Madison wants to ditch the party so she can go out with Hart. Car show...or overnight stay in New York City?? You choose.
Aimee still sucks.
Whaaaat...they're all going on the train by themselves. Well, they'll be together, but still. That would scare the crap out of me.
Each girl gets a "Birthday Pass" with stuff they're going to do during the weekend. That's kind of really cool, no lie.
Fiona shows the conductor her Birthday Pass as a joke, and the conductor has no sense of humor and is all, "WHERE IS YOUR TICKET, STOWAWAY!?"
Aunt Mimi shows up wearing a cape. Wth?? Who is she, Zorro?
Lindsay: What do you think so far?
Madison: Your aunt is amazing.
Lindsay: I know. But I don't know how she and my mom could possibyl be sisters.
Madison: Your mom is nice, too.
Lindsay: Yeah, but she isn't cool, not like Aunt Mimi.
Madison: Are any moms truly cool? [Too true.]
Lindsay: Your mom is. She makes movies. She travels all over the world.
Madison: But she doesn't wear fur hats or capes.
Oh, how I wish my mom would wear fur hats or capes. Then she would truly be cool.
Have you ever bought something just because it was on sale?? That has to be the reason Aimee bought a pink leotard with flowers around the neck, not that those things don't ooze "cool".
HOLY CRAP! Aunt Mimi has her own FLOOR! Now I don't doubt that she can afford to pay for all these girls' misadventures.
I'm sorry, but it's super awkward when someone starts crying. I know I do it, but it's weird when someone else does it.
And Lindsay just randomly bursts into tears, saying cryptic things, like, "Everything is fine, which means everything is not fine. It's the same as usual."
Aimee and Fiona think Lindsay is sad because she misses her parents and because she's afraid of becoming a teenager.
Madison is like, "Wth, I know why she's sad. Morons."
Mimi redecorates every 3 months!!? That's just a waste of money.
Aimee wonders if Mimi is as rich as Drew, but Lindsay concludes that Drew's family must be richer because he owns 2 houses, but Aunt Mimi has one apartment and stays in the nicest hotels the rest of the time.
In that case, Aunt Mimi is much richer than they are.
Lindsay is sad because her dad hasn't called. Oh.
Ivy e-mails Madison because it turns out Madison accidentally took Ivy's science notebook.
Lindsay: I bet there's juicy gossip inside that book.
Madison: I wonder. But I guess even Ivy's allowed to have a secret journal.
She's come a long way from, "IVY IS SUCH A LIAR, I MUST PEEK AT HER NOTEBOOK!"
Awwww. Lindsay's dad moved out and she's afraid he hates her. :(
Aunt Mimi has red hair. For someone reason, I pictured her with pink hair.
Fiona: What does turning into a teenager realy mean, anyway?
Aimee: It means you can drive. You can date. You can vote.
Lindsay: Aim! I can't do any of those things.
Aimee: Not yet. But soon. Well, sort of soon.
Uh, not sort of soon. I'm 15 and I still can't do any of those things.
Lindsay has nothing to wear, so everyone lends her some clothes and she ends up with the outfit she's wearing on the cover. Everyone else is like, "OMG, YOU LOOK SO FAB," but...? I don't know. I like the boots, though.
Daaang. Aunt Mimi buys them all sunglasses so they can "get their cool on". Of course, Madison gets orange ones.
Argh. I wish I could WEAR sunglasses. I find these Cover All sunglasses that go over perscription lenses, but my mom was like, "Nice try."
Aimee can't stop staring at her reflection. Yay, a born narcissist!
How come it's funny when Aimee does it, though, but stuck-up when Ivy does it?
Yay, they all get makeovers. Best birthday ever.
I'm going to make some hot chocolate and FREEZE IT.
Despite all this mad fun, Madison wishes Hart were with her so they could drink Frrrozen Hot Chocolate and make out afterwards.
NO LIE, THAT'S WHAT SHE SAYS...sort of.
Hahaha, they take a special stop for Madison and go to Madison Avenue!! I cannot breathe for laughing.
Shopping...or the planetarium. Shopping...planetarium...shopping...planetarium...
I don't know...will there be shopping at the planetarium??
Okay, now I think Lindsay just wants attention. Aimee and Fiona shift their attention to some cute guys and all of a sudden, Lindsay's sobbing. "Are you okay, Lindsay?" "Oh, yes, I just miss my dad." -_-
Aunt Mimi refuses to let the girls stalk the cute boys. Good plan.
"It didn't matter how much you like someone. If there was a really cute or Cute (with a capital C) guy in the room, checking him out was necessary."
That should be the Golden Rule.
"If this is the city that never sleeps, then why I am so tired?"
Wouldn't you be tired if you never slept? That makes perfect sense.
The best part of the day for Madison was buying super bouncy balls and a foil sticker at the gift shop.
How thrilling.
Fiona spills wine all over Aunt Mimi's cream-colored scarf. That scarf is a goner. But Aunt Mimi doesn't seem to mind.
What was Fiona doing with wine in the first place?
Lindsay's dad doesn't show up to the birthday dinner. :(
But she pouts the entire time. Not awkward or anything.
Madison: Ever hear the one about the birthday cat?
Mrs. Frost: No, I have not.
Aunt Mimi: Tell us, Maddie!
Madison: Well...I...I...forgot.
For some reason, that's the funniest joke I've ever heard.
Awww, they don't get to eat cake because Lindsay wants to go home. So they get it to go.
Sorry to be unempathetic or callous, but that's probably the saddest thing about the whole evening. It was CHOCOLATE cake.
Lindsay gets a fantasy book, a tapestry backpack (kewl), a giftcard to Aimee's Dad's bookstore, and theater tickets (from her mom).
Madison gets her this necklace with a book charm, which is supposed to be clever or something.
At least she didn't recycle her snow bunnies charm.
Dad finally shows up...but Lindsay's not mad. No, she's...excited?
Madison's the only one who gets why she feels that way.
Agh, so awkward between parents.
And Lindsay keeps being all, "Oh, Daddy!!!"
And her dad gets her...theater tickets.
Uh-oh.
There's this random paragraph about Aimee's dream to dance in The Nutcracker Suite. "She knew that that was a big, big dream."
WHO CARES??? This book isn't about Aimee!!
Girl talk!! It turns out Lindsay likes...Dan??
"I mean, he's always funny and nice, and he talks about books with me sometimes in the library."
Awwww...
Bigwheels is gushing about Reggie again, and how he got her this adorable purple bear, and she wonders if they could possibly be "in love".
Aaagh. Lol, then she mentions her friend's feelings on the matter.
"My friend Lainie would freak at the thought. She doesn't even really LIKE boys. She never has gone out with one or followed one in school or even said much about thinking they're cute."
I have friends like that...and they're not gay.
AGH. Lindsay starts spazzing out about the test. And crying. AGAIN.
So Aunt Mimi brings out the chocolate cake they couldn't eat last night. YAY!!!
Fiona coyly suggests that Lindsay wish Dan would like her back for her birthday wish, and Mrs. Frost is like, "DAN! DAN! LINDSAY, IS THERE SOME BOY YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME ABOUT??"
WHAAAT? The cake last night was CHOCOLATE!! But this cake is white with purple icing!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
They study for the test on the train. I'm sure that was fun. Aimee's like, "Nooo, I want to play Mash or Truth or Dare."
Eddie (Bigwheel's autistic brother) learned some more words! Yay!
Egg told Fiona that his sister told him that the standardized test is not worth worrying about.
Nice job, Lindsay. Way to freak out over NOTHING.
Hart gives Madison the silent treatment.
How mature.
After getting rejected last week, Hart decides to ask Madison out via note rather than face-to-face.
But at least he asked her out.
Madison's Computer Tip:
When you need to thank someone or send a birthday card or any greeting card, use an E-card service.
#21 is next, and that one wasn't so good, but whatever, I have nothing else to do, and the Maytag man is upstairs and I'm in my pajamas, so I can't go up there. I guess I'm stuck with you guys.
Monday, June 23, 2008
If someone is mean, they have issues, or FTFO Madison Finn #19: Keep It Real
I read this a while ago. Haven't been posting, though, because it's summer and I could be...you know...watching "Monk" and playing with my dog.
Speaking of Tie, she was totally lying right next to me 2 seconds ago. What happened?
Plot: Madison Finn has had enough of Ivy Daly!!! Her English class has just received a new journal writing assignment, and Ivy always writes about how perfect and wonderful her life is. It just makes Madison sick; partly because Ivy is such a fake, and partly because Ivy writes so much in her journal. Journal writing is Madison's territory!!!
It turns out Ivy's life is NOT so perfect after all!!! Her mom has breast cancer.
Fran tells Madison to be nice to Ivy because her mom is sort of dying, but Madison finds it hard when Ivy continues to be such a meanie.
Finally, she convinces her friends to stop giving Ivy such a hard time. Good enough.
More notes:
"We started 'journaling', which is basically keeping track of feelings and observations and all that [in case you didn't know what journaling was]...which is what I do every day on this computer anyway! [Lol, me, too!]"
Madison's first assignment is to write about a very successful or very embarassing moment. Pick embarassing, you've got plenty of those.
The Gang goes to Madison's house.
Hart: Gee, I've never been in your house before.
Drew: Yeah, you have. Haven't you?
Fiona: *to Madison* You WISH Hart had been in your house before....
Egg almost breaks a glass penguin belonging to Madison's mom.
Madison: Careful! My mom got that in the antarctic!
Because they have so many glass penguin shops in the antarctic.
Madison finds it weird that Egg speaks Spanish...even though he's bilingual.
Although he's quite "Dora the Explorer" about it. "Mi mami got it for me. She rocks."
"As Egg clicked away, Madison prayed that his fingers wouldn't slip and cause him to select one of her e-mail messages or open the secret folder on her desktop tht held her files. She had visions of Hart standing there while a dozen different files carrying his name opened up.
Hart Jones
Hart (continued)
Mr. & Mrs. Jones
The One
Him"
Wow. She has officially passed into stalking territory.
Ooh, there's a new exotic website called BLOGGERfishbowl, where bigfishbowl members can BLOG.
Oh no, they come across Madison's journal assignment...and it's blank.
Hm. Either way, that sucks.
Ivy accuses Madison of wicked PMS, but Madison doesn't want to admit that she HASN'T STARTED HER PERIOD.
I don't think she ever will, if it's been three years and she's still 12.
Madison's like, "Ew, Hart has crooked teeth."
So????
Hart: Looked like Ivy and you were arguing.
Madison: Big surprise.
Hart: She gets weirder every day.
Madison: I actually thought you liked her.
Hart: Me? Like Ivy? Uh...not exactly. She's pretty and all that, but sometimes she's just...well, I said it. She's a big weirdo.
Madison: She likes you.
Hart: Whatever.
I think he still likes her. Way to lie and be all, "Me, like her? No way."
Hart: Later, Finnster. Er...Maddie. Sorry, I guess I should stop calling you Finnster. I know it bugs you.
Madison: Yeah, well... No, Finnster isn't so bad. I like it. Don't stop. Really.
Hart: Really?
Madison: I just need to think of a good nickname for you.
Hart: Uh...Egg calls me Loser sometimes. Or Weasel.
Madison: I was thinking more like Hunk.
Hart: Huh? What did you just say???
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Madison: What? I said, 'Dork'. Why? What did you think I said?
Hart: Oh yeah, that's me. Super Dork, actually. *wink*
Phew. Crisis averted. ROFL, that was pretty hilarious, though.
Aimee is depressed because her ballet teacher has breast cancer. Foreshadowing?
Madison tells her mom about the breast cancer.
Fran: It seems like so many women I know have it these days.
Madison: Really? I remember your friend from work. Who else?
Fran: Oh. No one in particular, honey bear.
More foreshadowing!!!
Madison is surfing BLOGGERfishbowl when she comes across a blog written by...*drumroll*...Vicki, AKA Bigwheels, HER KEYPAL!!!
Bigwheels' latest entry:
I know I need to just relax but how can I relax when I don't get any sleep either? I think I'm going to check out one of the chat rooms Dad told me about. I never knew it affected so many kids. I also found out that I can volunteer down @ the speech center in Seattle. I don't think I'll be working with kids who have autism but I will probably learn a lot.
--BW
Autism??? What a concept.
Madison is less concerned by the entry, however, and more concerned about why BIGWHEELS NEVER TOLD HER ABOUT THIS SECRET BLOG!! BETRAYAL!!!
Hey, Madison gets an e-mail from Hart...one that turns out to be a mistake:
From: Sk8ingboy
Hey, guys, my dad just called the FH rink and the dude there said we can play next wkend which is cool so let's find other guys and we'll be hooked up. I was thinking maybe we could go over to Drew's to play the Zone again b4 we sk8 since the game @ Maddie's was so lame. Ok. E-me l8r.
Whoa, wait. The game at Maddie's was LAME? Does that mean the game was stupid or Madison is lame?
Madison has to write a story about a scar, so she writes about the divorce, which is a metaphorical scar.
But then she gets off topic and has to rewrite the entire thing.
Been there.
Oooh, big juicy gossip! Ivy is dating a high-school sophomore!!!
???
But is she SLEEPING with him? Otherwise, that's only SORT OF creepy.
Uh oh...he was talking about her in the locker room. GROSS.
There's actually not that many cute guys at other schools. I'm pretty satisfied with the ones at mine, but Madison thinks otherwise.
Lance reads his scar story outloud in class, and it turns out Lance has a heart defect!!! For Madison, this explains all his nerdy tendencies.
Yeah. Because heart defects cause a person to be socially challenged.
Hmm, Madison hears Ivy crying in the bathroom. EVEN MORE FORESHADOWING??
?? Madison's mom goes on a date...but doesn't tell Madison what went on.
She still wants her parents to get back together, even though her dad is married now?? It's cool if Stephanie gets hurt and everything....
Aargh, Madison's friends twist the rumor about Ivy and make it sound like she's dating a COLLEGE sophomore!!!! Aargh, they're so mean!!
Drew tells them to leave her alone, and they're all, "Ha ha, you like Ivy!!"
Uh oh. It appears Hart still likes Ivy. All his friends are teasing him about it.
He WAS lying after all.
Journaling #3
Topic: List twenty details about someone you know. Try to include details that are about more than just physical appearance.
Egg asks Madison to read her list outloud...but she can't...because it's about HART.
Egg writes about his sister Mariah, who has blue hair and a nose ring. Jealous.
Fiona writes about Madison, but one of her details is "Bad at keeping secrets".
Ouch.
Since they don't have a science teacher and they can't get a sub, Madison's science class has to work in the library the entire period.
And Madison is stuck with Poison Ivy.
Fuuuun.
Madison doesn't remember Ivy's middle name, which is Renee...
...but Ivy remembers MADISON'S middle name, which is Francesca.
Random.
Turns out Ivy already did all the journaling assignments and asked for more!! Oh, I want some, too.
Madison wants those extra assignments.
But Ivy won't give them to her.
Because Madison never shares her science notes.
Catfight!
Madison peeks into Ivy's journal:
Write about a time you had to wait for something you wanted.
What's the point of writing about this? I am supposed to see M. and H. as soon as possible, but I don't know what will happen. J. didn't have happy....
Madison assumes M and H stand for "Madison" and "Hart".
Bigwheels is sorry, but she doesn't feel comfortable telling Madison what's going on in her life.
Madison retaliates and whines, "You always told me to keep it real. You can talk to me!!"
Someone just wants to know the juicy gossip.
Hello. Problem solve. It has to do with AUTISM.
Madison runs into Hart in the hallway.
Madison: I'm such a klutz. I can't believe I whammed into you like that. I am SO sorry. And now look at this mess....
Hart: My dad would call this a happy accident. He always says profound things like that.
What are you implying??
Uh-oh. Hart might've looked at Madison's journal! There's no telling what he saw!
Hmm, it turns out he might've seen "MADISON JONES" written in huge letters.
Aimee's obsessed with the whole "high school sophomore" thing. "OMG, HIS NAME IS FRED!"
And he apparently got suspended once for using drugs.
Wows. The 4th journaling assignment is to write a description of someone you know, and using inflammatory language, Madison writes a pagelong rant about Poison Ivy.
It turns out Mrs. Daly (Ivy's mom) has breast cancer, too!
It's a small world after all.
Duh. The M and J in the notebook stood for "Mom" and "Janet".
It turns out the high-school sophomore is a member of a cancer support group that Ivy goes to and they're JUST FRIENDS.
Madison doesn't want to be nice to Ivy because her FRIENDS will think she's weird.
You could bring up the CANCER. That might help.
Fran STILL won't tell Madison who she's dating...or whether or not she's dating AT ALL.
Madison accidentally tells her friends about the date, and they're all, "OMG, GOSSIP!"
Madison: No! You guys... This is how rumors get started.
Yeah. Remember the "college sophomore" thing?
Fiona: Walter's cute, and I like him a lot, but he can be really, really embarrassing sometimes.
He's a GUY! Not only that, he's in 7TH GRADE! Of course he's embarrassing!
Drew, the rich kid, brags about his new BASEBALL CARD COLLECTION. He even has an original Honus Wagner card!!!
Um, cool...but what's the point?? It's not like there's anyone to trade with him.
Hart grabs Madison's hand suggestively. ????
Fran doesn't want to wear a red dress on one of her dates, because that would send the WRONG IMPRESSION.
Either this guy is religious or it's not a date.
Dude, it's okay if you lie in your journal. Denial is the first step in processing grief. And it's her PRIVATE JOURNAL. It's not like anyone's going to find out.
And Madison doesn't even CARE about the lies Ivy is writing. She's just jealous that Ivy is in her DOMAIN of journals and collages.
Bigwheels reveals her secret: Her brother Eddie has mild autism.
Now he doesn't like being touched, can't sit still, hit himself in public, and apparently can't talk.
Ooooh...poor Bigwheels.
Madison's like...Oh.
The grades were so bad on the last science quiz that Madison's teacher gave everyone an A!!!!!
Whoa...I wish my science teacher had been that nice. I had the highest grade in the class with a B-!
Just when Madison is about to be nice to Ivy, Ivy has to tell another lie about her perfect life, making Madison "madder than mad".
Fran wasn't going on dates...she was meeting with a bigwig to discuss her promotion!! Soon they'll be rich!
Madison is mad that her mom didn't tell her first, though. After she told everyone else. Including Jeff, the guy she had a kid with.
Yeah, I'd probably tell Jeff first, too.
Argh. Madison's friends start being REALLY mean about Ivy (claiming she's on drugs, making fun of her outfit, etc.), so Madison tells them to quit it.
And...ugh, I hate them so much.
Aimee: Are you defending her?
Madison: no, no! But I just think...that maybe...we're being a little harsh...
Friends: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Madison: What's so funny?
Aimee: Maddie, we're talking about the Queen of Harsh here, Poison Ivy Daly, remember? How could we possibly come near her level of mean?
THAT'S your excuse?? When is it EVER okay to accuse someone of being on drugs??? I freaking HATE Aimee.
Wth, Aimee gets WORSE!!
aIMEE: I just saw her crying outside one of hte bathrooms. Can you believe it? Ivy never cries. She's more like an emotional freezer. She doesn't care about anyone else except herself.
Fiona: What was she crying about?
Aimee: Herself. She ran out of lip gloss. Oooh! Poor me!
B**ch.
Madison does some really LAME defending.
Madison: I think Ivy's got a problem.
Aimee: NO KIDDING!
Fiona: HAHAHAHAHA! [I hate her, too]
Madison: No, you two, I'm serious. I think maybe she has a real problem.
Fiona: You're serious?
Aimee: Like, what problem? What do you know that you aren't telling us?
Madison: I just...I don't know anything for sure. But I just think that maybe Ivy is really sad. Maybe she's not being a drama queen for once.
Fiona: I guess you could be right.
Aimee: Please! I can't stay for the pity party.
For the love of God, Aimee!! Who's an emotional freezer now? She doesn't even care!! And Madison just laughs along with her to the pity party comment.
Is it sad that I'm getting really riled about what a fictional character is saying??
Whatever. She's a STUPID fictional character.
Lo and behold! The girls come upon a lady whose son has autism!
Madison: It's so weird that you saw Mrs. Reynolds like that, because I was just wondering about autism.
Aimee: Huh? You were? Maddie, why were you wondering about that?
Madison: Oh, I don't know, Aim, I saw a TV show on autism once...and I-I've always wondered about it. That's all.
Aimee: That's so random, Maddie.
Dude, holy crap. Is Aimee THAT OBLIVIOUS?? What a crappy friend.
Now that Fran is rich, she takes Madison on a joyous shopping spree.
Dang, my parents are the opposite of rich right now.
Stupid gas prices.
And they run into Paige and Ivy Daly at the mall!! Awkward...
I think Mrs. Daly is bald. That's how I pictured her, anyway.
Awww...Ivy is so sad about her mom.
But she also doesn't want anyone to start treating her like a leper because she has a sick mom.
That's the Ivy we know and love. You were scaring me for a minute there, Ivy.
Omg, Mrs. Daly has an asthma attack! Or something. Does cancer affect the respiratory system, too?
Mrs. Daly just randomly throws her arms around Madison and kisses her on the cheek. WHOA. There's this thing we call "The Bubble". You're not respecting it.
For her last journal assignment, Madison has to write a piece from someone else's point of view, so she writes about Ivy. It's pretty depressing.
Yay, Eddie's made progress! He can talk now!!
Maybe he'll grow up to be like the autistic kids at my school who are really good at spelling.
But that's assuming all autistic kids have some sort of superpower when in fact they're just normal kids...sort of.
Surprise! Hart comes over.
And he ran the entire way???
Ha ha, like in #16. "Are you okay?" "Oh yeah, I have asthma."
Chocolate cookies are overrated.
But both Madison and Hart like them. They have SOOOO much in common!!
Wh-What?
Hart: Are you okay?
Madison: No.
And she tells him all about what's been going on...and he listens??? That's cool.
But then, out of the blue, he's all, "You're really nice." Which makes you wonder if he was really listening.
They agree to "do something"...as in go on a date.
Hart: You know...I should tell you something.
Madison: What?
Hart: Well, do you remember the day when you and I collided at school? And your bag fell apart?
Madison: Yeah?
Hart: Well...I saw your journal that day. I saw what you wrote.
Madison: Saw what?
Hart: I saw my name on that page.
Then he just LEAVES!!! MIXED-MESSAGES!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN????
But then Fran comes home and says, "Hart run all the way here? He loves you!"
So everything is okay.
Madison's Computer Tip:
If you want to keep your thoughts and feelings secret, don't write them down in a blog.
Well, I obviously DON'T.
Hm, fun fun fun.
The next one takes place in NYC, so it should be sparkly and fun, according to the back cover.
Agh, I started reading #21, which I'd never read before, and it's a little disappointing. But whatever. I'll be here forever, so expect more later.
Speaking of Tie, she was totally lying right next to me 2 seconds ago. What happened?
Plot: Madison Finn has had enough of Ivy Daly!!! Her English class has just received a new journal writing assignment, and Ivy always writes about how perfect and wonderful her life is. It just makes Madison sick; partly because Ivy is such a fake, and partly because Ivy writes so much in her journal. Journal writing is Madison's territory!!!
It turns out Ivy's life is NOT so perfect after all!!! Her mom has breast cancer.
Fran tells Madison to be nice to Ivy because her mom is sort of dying, but Madison finds it hard when Ivy continues to be such a meanie.
Finally, she convinces her friends to stop giving Ivy such a hard time. Good enough.
More notes:
"We started 'journaling', which is basically keeping track of feelings and observations and all that [in case you didn't know what journaling was]...which is what I do every day on this computer anyway! [Lol, me, too!]"
Madison's first assignment is to write about a very successful or very embarassing moment. Pick embarassing, you've got plenty of those.
The Gang goes to Madison's house.
Hart: Gee, I've never been in your house before.
Drew: Yeah, you have. Haven't you?
Fiona: *to Madison* You WISH Hart had been in your house before....
Egg almost breaks a glass penguin belonging to Madison's mom.
Madison: Careful! My mom got that in the antarctic!
Because they have so many glass penguin shops in the antarctic.
Madison finds it weird that Egg speaks Spanish...even though he's bilingual.
Although he's quite "Dora the Explorer" about it. "Mi mami got it for me. She rocks."
"As Egg clicked away, Madison prayed that his fingers wouldn't slip and cause him to select one of her e-mail messages or open the secret folder on her desktop tht held her files. She had visions of Hart standing there while a dozen different files carrying his name opened up.
Hart Jones
Hart (continued)
Mr. & Mrs. Jones
The One
Him"
Wow. She has officially passed into stalking territory.
Ooh, there's a new exotic website called BLOGGERfishbowl, where bigfishbowl members can BLOG.
Oh no, they come across Madison's journal assignment...and it's blank.
Hm. Either way, that sucks.
Ivy accuses Madison of wicked PMS, but Madison doesn't want to admit that she HASN'T STARTED HER PERIOD.
I don't think she ever will, if it's been three years and she's still 12.
Madison's like, "Ew, Hart has crooked teeth."
So????
Hart: Looked like Ivy and you were arguing.
Madison: Big surprise.
Hart: She gets weirder every day.
Madison: I actually thought you liked her.
Hart: Me? Like Ivy? Uh...not exactly. She's pretty and all that, but sometimes she's just...well, I said it. She's a big weirdo.
Madison: She likes you.
Hart: Whatever.
I think he still likes her. Way to lie and be all, "Me, like her? No way."
Hart: Later, Finnster. Er...Maddie. Sorry, I guess I should stop calling you Finnster. I know it bugs you.
Madison: Yeah, well... No, Finnster isn't so bad. I like it. Don't stop. Really.
Hart: Really?
Madison: I just need to think of a good nickname for you.
Hart: Uh...Egg calls me Loser sometimes. Or Weasel.
Madison: I was thinking more like Hunk.
Hart: Huh? What did you just say???
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Madison: What? I said, 'Dork'. Why? What did you think I said?
Hart: Oh yeah, that's me. Super Dork, actually. *wink*
Phew. Crisis averted. ROFL, that was pretty hilarious, though.
Aimee is depressed because her ballet teacher has breast cancer. Foreshadowing?
Madison tells her mom about the breast cancer.
Fran: It seems like so many women I know have it these days.
Madison: Really? I remember your friend from work. Who else?
Fran: Oh. No one in particular, honey bear.
More foreshadowing!!!
Madison is surfing BLOGGERfishbowl when she comes across a blog written by...*drumroll*...Vicki, AKA Bigwheels, HER KEYPAL!!!
Bigwheels' latest entry:
I know I need to just relax but how can I relax when I don't get any sleep either? I think I'm going to check out one of the chat rooms Dad told me about. I never knew it affected so many kids. I also found out that I can volunteer down @ the speech center in Seattle. I don't think I'll be working with kids who have autism but I will probably learn a lot.
--BW
Autism??? What a concept.
Madison is less concerned by the entry, however, and more concerned about why BIGWHEELS NEVER TOLD HER ABOUT THIS SECRET BLOG!! BETRAYAL!!!
Hey, Madison gets an e-mail from Hart...one that turns out to be a mistake:
From: Sk8ingboy
Hey, guys, my dad just called the FH rink and the dude there said we can play next wkend which is cool so let's find other guys and we'll be hooked up. I was thinking maybe we could go over to Drew's to play the Zone again b4 we sk8 since the game @ Maddie's was so lame. Ok. E-me l8r.
Whoa, wait. The game at Maddie's was LAME? Does that mean the game was stupid or Madison is lame?
Madison has to write a story about a scar, so she writes about the divorce, which is a metaphorical scar.
But then she gets off topic and has to rewrite the entire thing.
Been there.
Oooh, big juicy gossip! Ivy is dating a high-school sophomore!!!
???
But is she SLEEPING with him? Otherwise, that's only SORT OF creepy.
Uh oh...he was talking about her in the locker room. GROSS.
There's actually not that many cute guys at other schools. I'm pretty satisfied with the ones at mine, but Madison thinks otherwise.
Lance reads his scar story outloud in class, and it turns out Lance has a heart defect!!! For Madison, this explains all his nerdy tendencies.
Yeah. Because heart defects cause a person to be socially challenged.
Hmm, Madison hears Ivy crying in the bathroom. EVEN MORE FORESHADOWING??
?? Madison's mom goes on a date...but doesn't tell Madison what went on.
She still wants her parents to get back together, even though her dad is married now?? It's cool if Stephanie gets hurt and everything....
Aargh, Madison's friends twist the rumor about Ivy and make it sound like she's dating a COLLEGE sophomore!!!! Aargh, they're so mean!!
Drew tells them to leave her alone, and they're all, "Ha ha, you like Ivy!!"
Uh oh. It appears Hart still likes Ivy. All his friends are teasing him about it.
He WAS lying after all.
Journaling #3
Topic: List twenty details about someone you know. Try to include details that are about more than just physical appearance.
Egg asks Madison to read her list outloud...but she can't...because it's about HART.
Egg writes about his sister Mariah, who has blue hair and a nose ring. Jealous.
Fiona writes about Madison, but one of her details is "Bad at keeping secrets".
Ouch.
Since they don't have a science teacher and they can't get a sub, Madison's science class has to work in the library the entire period.
And Madison is stuck with Poison Ivy.
Fuuuun.
Madison doesn't remember Ivy's middle name, which is Renee...
...but Ivy remembers MADISON'S middle name, which is Francesca.
Random.
Turns out Ivy already did all the journaling assignments and asked for more!! Oh, I want some, too.
Madison wants those extra assignments.
But Ivy won't give them to her.
Because Madison never shares her science notes.
Catfight!
Madison peeks into Ivy's journal:
Write about a time you had to wait for something you wanted.
What's the point of writing about this? I am supposed to see M. and H. as soon as possible, but I don't know what will happen. J. didn't have happy....
Madison assumes M and H stand for "Madison" and "Hart".
Bigwheels is sorry, but she doesn't feel comfortable telling Madison what's going on in her life.
Madison retaliates and whines, "You always told me to keep it real. You can talk to me!!"
Someone just wants to know the juicy gossip.
Hello. Problem solve. It has to do with AUTISM.
Madison runs into Hart in the hallway.
Madison: I'm such a klutz. I can't believe I whammed into you like that. I am SO sorry. And now look at this mess....
Hart: My dad would call this a happy accident. He always says profound things like that.
What are you implying??
Uh-oh. Hart might've looked at Madison's journal! There's no telling what he saw!
Hmm, it turns out he might've seen "MADISON JONES" written in huge letters.
Aimee's obsessed with the whole "high school sophomore" thing. "OMG, HIS NAME IS FRED!"
And he apparently got suspended once for using drugs.
Wows. The 4th journaling assignment is to write a description of someone you know, and using inflammatory language, Madison writes a pagelong rant about Poison Ivy.
It turns out Mrs. Daly (Ivy's mom) has breast cancer, too!
It's a small world after all.
Duh. The M and J in the notebook stood for "Mom" and "Janet".
It turns out the high-school sophomore is a member of a cancer support group that Ivy goes to and they're JUST FRIENDS.
Madison doesn't want to be nice to Ivy because her FRIENDS will think she's weird.
You could bring up the CANCER. That might help.
Fran STILL won't tell Madison who she's dating...or whether or not she's dating AT ALL.
Madison accidentally tells her friends about the date, and they're all, "OMG, GOSSIP!"
Madison: No! You guys... This is how rumors get started.
Yeah. Remember the "college sophomore" thing?
Fiona: Walter's cute, and I like him a lot, but he can be really, really embarrassing sometimes.
He's a GUY! Not only that, he's in 7TH GRADE! Of course he's embarrassing!
Drew, the rich kid, brags about his new BASEBALL CARD COLLECTION. He even has an original Honus Wagner card!!!
Um, cool...but what's the point?? It's not like there's anyone to trade with him.
Hart grabs Madison's hand suggestively. ????
Fran doesn't want to wear a red dress on one of her dates, because that would send the WRONG IMPRESSION.
Either this guy is religious or it's not a date.
Dude, it's okay if you lie in your journal. Denial is the first step in processing grief. And it's her PRIVATE JOURNAL. It's not like anyone's going to find out.
And Madison doesn't even CARE about the lies Ivy is writing. She's just jealous that Ivy is in her DOMAIN of journals and collages.
Bigwheels reveals her secret: Her brother Eddie has mild autism.
Now he doesn't like being touched, can't sit still, hit himself in public, and apparently can't talk.
Ooooh...poor Bigwheels.
Madison's like...Oh.
The grades were so bad on the last science quiz that Madison's teacher gave everyone an A!!!!!
Whoa...I wish my science teacher had been that nice. I had the highest grade in the class with a B-!
Just when Madison is about to be nice to Ivy, Ivy has to tell another lie about her perfect life, making Madison "madder than mad".
Fran wasn't going on dates...she was meeting with a bigwig to discuss her promotion!! Soon they'll be rich!
Madison is mad that her mom didn't tell her first, though. After she told everyone else. Including Jeff, the guy she had a kid with.
Yeah, I'd probably tell Jeff first, too.
Argh. Madison's friends start being REALLY mean about Ivy (claiming she's on drugs, making fun of her outfit, etc.), so Madison tells them to quit it.
And...ugh, I hate them so much.
Aimee: Are you defending her?
Madison: no, no! But I just think...that maybe...we're being a little harsh...
Friends: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Madison: What's so funny?
Aimee: Maddie, we're talking about the Queen of Harsh here, Poison Ivy Daly, remember? How could we possibly come near her level of mean?
THAT'S your excuse?? When is it EVER okay to accuse someone of being on drugs??? I freaking HATE Aimee.
Wth, Aimee gets WORSE!!
aIMEE: I just saw her crying outside one of hte bathrooms. Can you believe it? Ivy never cries. She's more like an emotional freezer. She doesn't care about anyone else except herself.
Fiona: What was she crying about?
Aimee: Herself. She ran out of lip gloss. Oooh! Poor me!
B**ch.
Madison does some really LAME defending.
Madison: I think Ivy's got a problem.
Aimee: NO KIDDING!
Fiona: HAHAHAHAHA! [I hate her, too]
Madison: No, you two, I'm serious. I think maybe she has a real problem.
Fiona: You're serious?
Aimee: Like, what problem? What do you know that you aren't telling us?
Madison: I just...I don't know anything for sure. But I just think that maybe Ivy is really sad. Maybe she's not being a drama queen for once.
Fiona: I guess you could be right.
Aimee: Please! I can't stay for the pity party.
For the love of God, Aimee!! Who's an emotional freezer now? She doesn't even care!! And Madison just laughs along with her to the pity party comment.
Is it sad that I'm getting really riled about what a fictional character is saying??
Whatever. She's a STUPID fictional character.
Lo and behold! The girls come upon a lady whose son has autism!
Madison: It's so weird that you saw Mrs. Reynolds like that, because I was just wondering about autism.
Aimee: Huh? You were? Maddie, why were you wondering about that?
Madison: Oh, I don't know, Aim, I saw a TV show on autism once...and I-I've always wondered about it. That's all.
Aimee: That's so random, Maddie.
Dude, holy crap. Is Aimee THAT OBLIVIOUS?? What a crappy friend.
Now that Fran is rich, she takes Madison on a joyous shopping spree.
Dang, my parents are the opposite of rich right now.
Stupid gas prices.
And they run into Paige and Ivy Daly at the mall!! Awkward...
I think Mrs. Daly is bald. That's how I pictured her, anyway.
Awww...Ivy is so sad about her mom.
But she also doesn't want anyone to start treating her like a leper because she has a sick mom.
That's the Ivy we know and love. You were scaring me for a minute there, Ivy.
Omg, Mrs. Daly has an asthma attack! Or something. Does cancer affect the respiratory system, too?
Mrs. Daly just randomly throws her arms around Madison and kisses her on the cheek. WHOA. There's this thing we call "The Bubble". You're not respecting it.
For her last journal assignment, Madison has to write a piece from someone else's point of view, so she writes about Ivy. It's pretty depressing.
Yay, Eddie's made progress! He can talk now!!
Maybe he'll grow up to be like the autistic kids at my school who are really good at spelling.
But that's assuming all autistic kids have some sort of superpower when in fact they're just normal kids...sort of.
Surprise! Hart comes over.
And he ran the entire way???
Ha ha, like in #16. "Are you okay?" "Oh yeah, I have asthma."
Chocolate cookies are overrated.
But both Madison and Hart like them. They have SOOOO much in common!!
Wh-What?
Hart: Are you okay?
Madison: No.
And she tells him all about what's been going on...and he listens??? That's cool.
But then, out of the blue, he's all, "You're really nice." Which makes you wonder if he was really listening.
They agree to "do something"...as in go on a date.
Hart: You know...I should tell you something.
Madison: What?
Hart: Well, do you remember the day when you and I collided at school? And your bag fell apart?
Madison: Yeah?
Hart: Well...I saw your journal that day. I saw what you wrote.
Madison: Saw what?
Hart: I saw my name on that page.
Then he just LEAVES!!! MIXED-MESSAGES!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN????
But then Fran comes home and says, "Hart run all the way here? He loves you!"
So everything is okay.
Madison's Computer Tip:
If you want to keep your thoughts and feelings secret, don't write them down in a blog.
Well, I obviously DON'T.
Hm, fun fun fun.
The next one takes place in NYC, so it should be sparkly and fun, according to the back cover.
Agh, I started reading #21, which I'd never read before, and it's a little disappointing. But whatever. I'll be here forever, so expect more later.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Happy Fictional Father's Day!!!, or FTFO Madison Finn #18: Give Me a Break
It's Father's Day!! Yay!!! This is the day where I thank God for giving me a father more able than Jeff Finn.
Ironically, Madison Finn #18 involves fathers. Sort of. It's mostly about friendship and superstition, but Jeff takes Madison on a big ski trip, so it's pretty appropriate.
Wth? In the library summary, they make it sound like Madison has to choose between Fiona and Aimee, but Fiona's already going somewhere for the holidays, so picking her isn't even an option.
I highly doubt the person who wrote that read the book.
Plot: Winter Break is here and Madison expects to be bored out of her wits. She is so jealous of her friend, Fiona, who is going to California for the holidays. UNFAIR!!!
Then Jeff Finn has a brilliant idea: why doesn't he take his wife, daughter, and best friend to a 5 star ski resort???? Wouldn't that be fun??
Honestly? Sounds like one of the BSC vacations, where the parents pay for EVERYONE.
Madison is all for it. She grabs Aimee and they head off to Big Mountain (seriously, that's the name.)
Unfortunately, they keep running into bad luck!! On the drive up the mountain, they get TWO flat tires. They also rent a HAUNTED cabin, and get into fights!!
It's just omen after bad omen!!!
Not only that, Aimee is being totally snobby, and Madison blames HER for all the bad luck.
After Madison chooses a cute boy to be her ski partner rather than Aimee, Aimee flies in a jealous rage down the mountain...and sprains her wrist!!
This is either the worst vacation or the best vacation ever.
I'm enjoying it.
Madison is so angry at Aimee. She ruined their vacation!!! Aimee sacrifices TLC and good medical care, however, to let Madison enjoy the slopes for two more days. Wow. She's a good friend...especially since Maddie's such a brat in this one.
Even more bad luck!!! Madison realizes all her superstitions are stupid and breaks down...but Aimee is there to boost her ego and say, "No, all your superstitions aren't dumb! I believe them!"
That way, Amiee has to apologize first and nothing is expected of Madison.
So lame. Anyway, they are friends forever.
More notes:
Fiona wears a lot of purple, specifically the shade "grape".
Egg knocks Devo and Tears for Fears. Jerk.
"The truth was that Aimee, Madison, and Fiona had gone to a few hockey games - and practices, too. Fiona went because her brother was on the team and because she wanted to see Egg in slap-shot action. Madison went to ogle Hart in his ice skates."
Wth? They actually let other students come to practice??? SOOOO prohibited at my school. Lol!! "Oooooh...your ice skates are SOOOOO hot...score another goal..."
Aw, poor Madison and Aimee. Fiona is going to California for winter break!!! Madison and Aimee have to watch hot boys play hockey and work at the Cyber Cafe (for money!!!).
Madison finds a chain letter Aimee receives and FREAKS OUT!! They HAVE to send it to five people or they'll have FIVE YEARS OF BAD LUCK.
Oooo, I'm scared. They send a copy to Poison Ivy.
Why are they so mean to her???
Whaaaat? Maddie might not be into Hart anymore???
LAAAAME. Hart doesn't have the balls to ask her out, and Madison doesn't want to make the first move, either.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought the cute guy next door was named JOSH. Madison seems to think his name is Toby.
Nooooooo. That would be the random high school guy you met in #11 whilst walking your dog.
She reminisces about Mark and how she messed up because she NEVER e-mailed him (but he never exactly e-mailed her, either).
Whoas. How rich is Madison's dad? They're staying in a 5 star resort, and Madison can take her friend AND her dog.
On the last day of school before winter break, all the teachers show movies instead of teaching class.
AS IT SHOULD BE.
Aimee screws up things with Hart. She not only embarasses him, but implies that Maddie should find someone new.
WHY ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH HER, MADDIE?
BIGWHEELS IS SICK AGAIN!!! I bet tomorrow her computer will crash, but as soon as she gets a new one, she'll be grounded, and then when she finally gets to use her e-mail again, she'll be sick.
It's a vicious cycle.
Bigwheels wants to meet Maddie in person.
Aaagh...what if she's really a creepy child molestor!?
Oh no, Madison has no cute ski clothes! She'll be laughed off the slopes!
So far, Madison has a sweatshirt, ski pants, a jacket, and some jeans.
If you never change clothes, that could last you a few days.
"Even though Madison was feeling much more alert, Aimee's high-pitched squeals were still over the top."
I hate morning people.
Agh, my dog woke me up at 6:15 this morning, but when I want to be awake and play with her, she's tired and wants to go to bed.
??? I thought you were a terrier!
They hear the same song on the radio within ten minutes!!
Good omen!!!
Jeff gets lost and refuses to ask for directions.
Here's to Dad's who never ask for directions!! Yaaaay!
Two flat tires!!! And Jeff forgot his AAA card!! They'll never get a tow now!
Stephanie totally chews him out...then pulls out HER AAA card for him to use.
Why didn't you just give it to him in the first place?
Lol. They go to a love calculator website. Those crack me up, but Madison TOTALLY takes them seriously.
Hart and Madison have only a 26% chance of romance!! Say it isn't so!!!
Madison has a better (85%) chance with EGG!!! Ew.
Aimee and Ben have a 74% chance. Ew, I hate them both.
Uh oh. Hart and Ivy have an 81% chance of romance.
Lol. Madison's ideal love connection is Philip Ayres, who sits next to her in math class.
So she types in her and Hart's MIDDLE names and they get an 81% chance, just like Hart and Ivy.
Ew, Hart's middle name is Jefferson???
Oh no, Madison sees a black cat! Bad omen?
Nope. It's just a squirrel.
Aimee makes fun of Hart, because he's a commitmentphobe.
Then again, this is junior high, but getting played kind of sucks.
Lol. The skylights open and it snows in their cabin. Bad omen.
Then again, they now have their own personal ski trail.
NOYCE!!! The resort reimburses them for one night's stay, and pays for their lift tickets AND lunch!!
HOLY CRAP!!
If I'd been there, I would be shoveling snow into my cabin every DAY!!
The manager even sends them APOLOGY BREAKFAST!!! Pastries and yogurt!!! sWeEt!!!
AAargh. Madison spills the salt, screams, and tosses it over her shoulder...which blinds Phinnie for life.
Wth???
"Aimee unzipped her suitcase and took out a perfectly matched outfit - a pair of purple ski pants and an orange fleece pullover. Underneath, she would wear a little shirt with flowers embroidered across the neckline."
Purple and ORANGE??? What about that is MATCHING???? Madison's jealous that Aimee is so "fashionable". I think the appropriate word is "color-blind".
Red pants, a black T-shirt, and a pink hat doesn't work that well, either, but I guess the point is to stay warm.
Oooh, an exotic Spanish ski instructor.
Aimee is in lust.
Aimee: We're here for lessons.
Ski instructor: Are you? Well, I'm the instructor.
Madison: Can we sign up for you?
Aimee: She means, can we register for you and your lessons?
Ski instructor: Certainly. I'm Carlos. Let me get Jennifer. She will help you get signed up.
Mmmmm, Carlos, I want to learn how to ski. Lol.
Aimee totally throws herself at Carlos, but when Madison spazzes out about a piece of strawberry stuck in her teeth, Aimee is all, "He's only the ski instructor, Maddie."
*cough* HYPOCRITE *cough*
Whoas. Stephanie and Dad buy Madison sunglasses, gloves, a ski suit, and a headband.
It would suck to be Aimee in that situation.
Ooh, the ski pants have a bib. Yay, ski overalls!
Oooh, Madison runs into a cute boy named Hugh Jackson.
H...J. Hey, he has the same initials as Hart Jones!
Foster Lane, Aimee's favorite movie star, is at the resort!!!
That would suck if there was a celebrity at your resort...but it was someone you despised, like Tori Spelling.
"When Aimee set her mind to something, she was often successful. Maybe it was a combination of always speaking her mind and batting her eyelashes."
Hugh: freckles, green eyes, blond hair.
In other words, Zac Efron!!!
Jeff gives Madison and Aimee necklaces with a bunny charm. Oh, I get it! Snow bunnies!!! -_-
Ugh, of course, Madison has to go overboard and convince herself that the snow bunny necklace is good luck.
Lol. Aimee takes off the necklace because it doesn't match her outfit. Madison's like, "NOOOO, BAD LUCK, BAD LUCK!"
Stephanie believes in a superstition about sneezing.
One for sorrow, two for joy, three for a letter, four for a boy, five for silver, six for gold, seven for a secret never to be told.
What is that supposed to mean?? And I thought it was seven for DEATH.
Because we were talking about that in math, and then Sam sneezed four times in a row, so Mr. Kovacs was all, "4 sneezes closer to DEATH!" It was pretty hilarious.
LAAAAAME. The waiter tells them a story about Mr. White, who supposedly froze to death outside his cabin. Wait. MADISON'S cabin was once his cabin!!
How is she believing this??? HE'S A WAITER!!!
Stephanie leaves to go to the bathroom when Madison and Aimee start talking about old memories when Maddie's parents were still together, and Madison flips out at Aimee. "Why did you start talking about my mom!!1?? It made Stephanie cry!!"
Aagh. Aimee blows up at Madison, and understandably so.
Owl: Hoooo hoooo hoooo.
Madison: Oh no! THree times! Bad luck!
Aimee: Huh? Three what? Maddie, stop obsessing about your stupid superstitions!
Madison: What do you mean, stupid?
Aimee: I mean, can you please stop being so neurotic for five minutes and just go back to sleep?
Madison: Neurotic? Quit acting like you know everything.
Aimee: What do you mean by that? I don't know everything. Who said I knew everything?
Madison says some nasty stuff about Aimee's ballet ability, and Aimee snaps back.
Girls....
Aimee and Stephanie have a special bonding time.
I would be soooo jealous.
Lol. Madison fell asleep on her bunny charm and it made a HUGE indent in her face.
Madison writes Bigwheels and complains about how slutty Aimee is and how much she's CHANGED.
Um, isn't Aimee flirty ALL THE TIME?? And you go for older guys, too, Madison, so don't be mean to your best friend.
Hmm, Hugh lives in Reston, which is close to Far Hills. Love Connection!
Isn't Reston that town where the Sandy girl in Pony Pals #19 was moving??
Sorry.
Madison tells Aimee she's acting like Poison Ivy.
I think spending time with Poison Ivy would be preferable to listening to Madison moan.
Lol. Aimee has to be partners with some girl...but Madison is partners with Hugh.
Then Aimee gets mad when Madison won't switch partners. Hello, hot guy, more important than friendship, obviously.
Hugh: Your friend looks bummed. You should ski with her.
Madison: I do everything with her. I would rather ski with you.
Whoa, Maddie. How positively bold of you.
Aimee falls down the mountain!!!!! No lie!!!
How would a broken wrist prevent you from dancing in a ballet recital?? I want to know.
At least it's only a sprain...but it will be in a cast for 4 weeks. Ouch.
Madison is so selfish. Her best friend just hurt her wrist and needs to go home, and the only thing Madison cares about is her vacation.
Argh. Madison is convinced the accident happened because neither girl wore their ski bunny charm.
Bad timing. Gramma Helen, not knowing about Aimee's accident, sends Madison an e-mail that says, "Don't fall of the mountain!"
Fiona e-mails about her brother Chet's sprained foot and complains about how she can't do ANYTHING now. Hello, your BROTHER sprained his foot, not you. Just ditch him and go have fun. You're in CALIFORNIA!
Heeeeey...Drew's gf's name is ELAINE, not Emily. Unless he broke up with Elaine and started going out with a new girl...whose name ALSO happens to begin with E.
Aw. Aimee decides to stay so Madison can enjoy her vacation.
Madison totally does NOT thank her best friend.
Ooh, Madison puts on MAKEUP to impress Hugh. Lol. If only she knew what was coming.
They practice on a slope called Four-Leaf Clover.
Good omen!
Ewwww, root beer.
They ask if CARLOS, the 25-year-old Spanish ski instructor, will be Aimee's true love. Yeah, I see that happening.
Yay, the chain letter worked!! Ivy got gum in her hair!! So mean.
I hate people that only apologize when the other person did. Aimee says she believes in superstitions and that she's sorry for almost ruining the vacation because she was dumb (the accident was NO accident; she was just showing off). Madison apologizes, but doesn't specify what she's sorry about. Meaning she's not really sorry. -_-
OH NO! Hugh can't ski with Madison anymore! He'd rather go skiing with his friends and parents, and ski demos are lame anyway.
Madison freaks out!! She acts like they were dating or something, when, in actuality, they've known each other 2 days. Totally overreacting.
AND overdramatic. "I'm...all...alone!!! *sob*"
To show Madison she is a good friend, Aimee wears her snow bunny necklace, which restores Madison's faith in good and bad luck and omens and so forth.
They met Foster Lane, but Madison doesn't think he is cute because he has acne.
It's not like people CHOOSE to have acne. My brother has it, and my friends are always asking all slyly, "Mmmm, who's he??" It's creepy. And weird.
"Maybe everything happened so we could see that the best lucky charm was with us all along--each other."
GAG! This isn't "Sesame Street".
Lol. Madison and Aimee play that apple game where you twist off the stem and poke through the skin. Aimee gets WD, for Walter Diaz!!! But he's supposed to be Madison's "true love"? Oh well.
Madison gets HJ, and is like, "Oh no, not Hugh!" Um, duh. Hart Jones.
WHOA. As soon as Madison gets home, Hart IMs her and asks if she would like to go skating with him. Well, him, and all their friends, but still.
Okay, and it WAS on IM, but it's a start.
Madison's Computer Tip:
The Internet is a great place to search for trends, fashion tips, and other ideas about what's hot - and in my case, what's not.
Fun, fun, fun. The next book is more serious, and a little lamer, as Madison takes out her frustrations on Poison Ivy. It's like permanent PMS or something. Hopefully she'll be better by #20.
Ironically, Madison Finn #18 involves fathers. Sort of. It's mostly about friendship and superstition, but Jeff takes Madison on a big ski trip, so it's pretty appropriate.
Wth? In the library summary, they make it sound like Madison has to choose between Fiona and Aimee, but Fiona's already going somewhere for the holidays, so picking her isn't even an option.
I highly doubt the person who wrote that read the book.
Plot: Winter Break is here and Madison expects to be bored out of her wits. She is so jealous of her friend, Fiona, who is going to California for the holidays. UNFAIR!!!
Then Jeff Finn has a brilliant idea: why doesn't he take his wife, daughter, and best friend to a 5 star ski resort???? Wouldn't that be fun??
Honestly? Sounds like one of the BSC vacations, where the parents pay for EVERYONE.
Madison is all for it. She grabs Aimee and they head off to Big Mountain (seriously, that's the name.)
Unfortunately, they keep running into bad luck!! On the drive up the mountain, they get TWO flat tires. They also rent a HAUNTED cabin, and get into fights!!
It's just omen after bad omen!!!
Not only that, Aimee is being totally snobby, and Madison blames HER for all the bad luck.
After Madison chooses a cute boy to be her ski partner rather than Aimee, Aimee flies in a jealous rage down the mountain...and sprains her wrist!!
This is either the worst vacation or the best vacation ever.
I'm enjoying it.
Madison is so angry at Aimee. She ruined their vacation!!! Aimee sacrifices TLC and good medical care, however, to let Madison enjoy the slopes for two more days. Wow. She's a good friend...especially since Maddie's such a brat in this one.
Even more bad luck!!! Madison realizes all her superstitions are stupid and breaks down...but Aimee is there to boost her ego and say, "No, all your superstitions aren't dumb! I believe them!"
That way, Amiee has to apologize first and nothing is expected of Madison.
So lame. Anyway, they are friends forever.
More notes:
Fiona wears a lot of purple, specifically the shade "grape".
Egg knocks Devo and Tears for Fears. Jerk.
"The truth was that Aimee, Madison, and Fiona had gone to a few hockey games - and practices, too. Fiona went because her brother was on the team and because she wanted to see Egg in slap-shot action. Madison went to ogle Hart in his ice skates."
Wth? They actually let other students come to practice??? SOOOO prohibited at my school. Lol!! "Oooooh...your ice skates are SOOOOO hot...score another goal..."
Aw, poor Madison and Aimee. Fiona is going to California for winter break!!! Madison and Aimee have to watch hot boys play hockey and work at the Cyber Cafe (for money!!!).
Madison finds a chain letter Aimee receives and FREAKS OUT!! They HAVE to send it to five people or they'll have FIVE YEARS OF BAD LUCK.
Oooo, I'm scared. They send a copy to Poison Ivy.
Why are they so mean to her???
Whaaaat? Maddie might not be into Hart anymore???
LAAAAME. Hart doesn't have the balls to ask her out, and Madison doesn't want to make the first move, either.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought the cute guy next door was named JOSH. Madison seems to think his name is Toby.
Nooooooo. That would be the random high school guy you met in #11 whilst walking your dog.
She reminisces about Mark and how she messed up because she NEVER e-mailed him (but he never exactly e-mailed her, either).
Whoas. How rich is Madison's dad? They're staying in a 5 star resort, and Madison can take her friend AND her dog.
On the last day of school before winter break, all the teachers show movies instead of teaching class.
AS IT SHOULD BE.
Aimee screws up things with Hart. She not only embarasses him, but implies that Maddie should find someone new.
WHY ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH HER, MADDIE?
BIGWHEELS IS SICK AGAIN!!! I bet tomorrow her computer will crash, but as soon as she gets a new one, she'll be grounded, and then when she finally gets to use her e-mail again, she'll be sick.
It's a vicious cycle.
Bigwheels wants to meet Maddie in person.
Aaagh...what if she's really a creepy child molestor!?
Oh no, Madison has no cute ski clothes! She'll be laughed off the slopes!
So far, Madison has a sweatshirt, ski pants, a jacket, and some jeans.
If you never change clothes, that could last you a few days.
"Even though Madison was feeling much more alert, Aimee's high-pitched squeals were still over the top."
I hate morning people.
Agh, my dog woke me up at 6:15 this morning, but when I want to be awake and play with her, she's tired and wants to go to bed.
??? I thought you were a terrier!
They hear the same song on the radio within ten minutes!!
Good omen!!!
Jeff gets lost and refuses to ask for directions.
Here's to Dad's who never ask for directions!! Yaaaay!
Two flat tires!!! And Jeff forgot his AAA card!! They'll never get a tow now!
Stephanie totally chews him out...then pulls out HER AAA card for him to use.
Why didn't you just give it to him in the first place?
Lol. They go to a love calculator website. Those crack me up, but Madison TOTALLY takes them seriously.
Hart and Madison have only a 26% chance of romance!! Say it isn't so!!!
Madison has a better (85%) chance with EGG!!! Ew.
Aimee and Ben have a 74% chance. Ew, I hate them both.
Uh oh. Hart and Ivy have an 81% chance of romance.
Lol. Madison's ideal love connection is Philip Ayres, who sits next to her in math class.
So she types in her and Hart's MIDDLE names and they get an 81% chance, just like Hart and Ivy.
Ew, Hart's middle name is Jefferson???
Oh no, Madison sees a black cat! Bad omen?
Nope. It's just a squirrel.
Aimee makes fun of Hart, because he's a commitmentphobe.
Then again, this is junior high, but getting played kind of sucks.
Lol. The skylights open and it snows in their cabin. Bad omen.
Then again, they now have their own personal ski trail.
NOYCE!!! The resort reimburses them for one night's stay, and pays for their lift tickets AND lunch!!
HOLY CRAP!!
If I'd been there, I would be shoveling snow into my cabin every DAY!!
The manager even sends them APOLOGY BREAKFAST!!! Pastries and yogurt!!! sWeEt!!!
AAargh. Madison spills the salt, screams, and tosses it over her shoulder...which blinds Phinnie for life.
Wth???
"Aimee unzipped her suitcase and took out a perfectly matched outfit - a pair of purple ski pants and an orange fleece pullover. Underneath, she would wear a little shirt with flowers embroidered across the neckline."
Purple and ORANGE??? What about that is MATCHING???? Madison's jealous that Aimee is so "fashionable". I think the appropriate word is "color-blind".
Red pants, a black T-shirt, and a pink hat doesn't work that well, either, but I guess the point is to stay warm.
Oooh, an exotic Spanish ski instructor.
Aimee is in lust.
Aimee: We're here for lessons.
Ski instructor: Are you? Well, I'm the instructor.
Madison: Can we sign up for you?
Aimee: She means, can we register for you and your lessons?
Ski instructor: Certainly. I'm Carlos. Let me get Jennifer. She will help you get signed up.
Mmmmm, Carlos, I want to learn how to ski. Lol.
Aimee totally throws herself at Carlos, but when Madison spazzes out about a piece of strawberry stuck in her teeth, Aimee is all, "He's only the ski instructor, Maddie."
*cough* HYPOCRITE *cough*
Whoas. Stephanie and Dad buy Madison sunglasses, gloves, a ski suit, and a headband.
It would suck to be Aimee in that situation.
Ooh, the ski pants have a bib. Yay, ski overalls!
Oooh, Madison runs into a cute boy named Hugh Jackson.
H...J. Hey, he has the same initials as Hart Jones!
Foster Lane, Aimee's favorite movie star, is at the resort!!!
That would suck if there was a celebrity at your resort...but it was someone you despised, like Tori Spelling.
"When Aimee set her mind to something, she was often successful. Maybe it was a combination of always speaking her mind and batting her eyelashes."
Hugh: freckles, green eyes, blond hair.
In other words, Zac Efron!!!
Jeff gives Madison and Aimee necklaces with a bunny charm. Oh, I get it! Snow bunnies!!! -_-
Ugh, of course, Madison has to go overboard and convince herself that the snow bunny necklace is good luck.
Lol. Aimee takes off the necklace because it doesn't match her outfit. Madison's like, "NOOOO, BAD LUCK, BAD LUCK!"
Stephanie believes in a superstition about sneezing.
One for sorrow, two for joy, three for a letter, four for a boy, five for silver, six for gold, seven for a secret never to be told.
What is that supposed to mean?? And I thought it was seven for DEATH.
Because we were talking about that in math, and then Sam sneezed four times in a row, so Mr. Kovacs was all, "4 sneezes closer to DEATH!" It was pretty hilarious.
LAAAAAME. The waiter tells them a story about Mr. White, who supposedly froze to death outside his cabin. Wait. MADISON'S cabin was once his cabin!!
How is she believing this??? HE'S A WAITER!!!
Stephanie leaves to go to the bathroom when Madison and Aimee start talking about old memories when Maddie's parents were still together, and Madison flips out at Aimee. "Why did you start talking about my mom!!1?? It made Stephanie cry!!"
Aagh. Aimee blows up at Madison, and understandably so.
Owl: Hoooo hoooo hoooo.
Madison: Oh no! THree times! Bad luck!
Aimee: Huh? Three what? Maddie, stop obsessing about your stupid superstitions!
Madison: What do you mean, stupid?
Aimee: I mean, can you please stop being so neurotic for five minutes and just go back to sleep?
Madison: Neurotic? Quit acting like you know everything.
Aimee: What do you mean by that? I don't know everything. Who said I knew everything?
Madison says some nasty stuff about Aimee's ballet ability, and Aimee snaps back.
Girls....
Aimee and Stephanie have a special bonding time.
I would be soooo jealous.
Lol. Madison fell asleep on her bunny charm and it made a HUGE indent in her face.
Madison writes Bigwheels and complains about how slutty Aimee is and how much she's CHANGED.
Um, isn't Aimee flirty ALL THE TIME?? And you go for older guys, too, Madison, so don't be mean to your best friend.
Hmm, Hugh lives in Reston, which is close to Far Hills. Love Connection!
Isn't Reston that town where the Sandy girl in Pony Pals #19 was moving??
Sorry.
Madison tells Aimee she's acting like Poison Ivy.
I think spending time with Poison Ivy would be preferable to listening to Madison moan.
Lol. Aimee has to be partners with some girl...but Madison is partners with Hugh.
Then Aimee gets mad when Madison won't switch partners. Hello, hot guy, more important than friendship, obviously.
Hugh: Your friend looks bummed. You should ski with her.
Madison: I do everything with her. I would rather ski with you.
Whoa, Maddie. How positively bold of you.
Aimee falls down the mountain!!!!! No lie!!!
How would a broken wrist prevent you from dancing in a ballet recital?? I want to know.
At least it's only a sprain...but it will be in a cast for 4 weeks. Ouch.
Madison is so selfish. Her best friend just hurt her wrist and needs to go home, and the only thing Madison cares about is her vacation.
Argh. Madison is convinced the accident happened because neither girl wore their ski bunny charm.
Bad timing. Gramma Helen, not knowing about Aimee's accident, sends Madison an e-mail that says, "Don't fall of the mountain!"
Fiona e-mails about her brother Chet's sprained foot and complains about how she can't do ANYTHING now. Hello, your BROTHER sprained his foot, not you. Just ditch him and go have fun. You're in CALIFORNIA!
Heeeeey...Drew's gf's name is ELAINE, not Emily. Unless he broke up with Elaine and started going out with a new girl...whose name ALSO happens to begin with E.
Aw. Aimee decides to stay so Madison can enjoy her vacation.
Madison totally does NOT thank her best friend.
Ooh, Madison puts on MAKEUP to impress Hugh. Lol. If only she knew what was coming.
They practice on a slope called Four-Leaf Clover.
Good omen!
Ewwww, root beer.
They ask if CARLOS, the 25-year-old Spanish ski instructor, will be Aimee's true love. Yeah, I see that happening.
Yay, the chain letter worked!! Ivy got gum in her hair!! So mean.
I hate people that only apologize when the other person did. Aimee says she believes in superstitions and that she's sorry for almost ruining the vacation because she was dumb (the accident was NO accident; she was just showing off). Madison apologizes, but doesn't specify what she's sorry about. Meaning she's not really sorry. -_-
OH NO! Hugh can't ski with Madison anymore! He'd rather go skiing with his friends and parents, and ski demos are lame anyway.
Madison freaks out!! She acts like they were dating or something, when, in actuality, they've known each other 2 days. Totally overreacting.
AND overdramatic. "I'm...all...alone!!! *sob*"
To show Madison she is a good friend, Aimee wears her snow bunny necklace, which restores Madison's faith in good and bad luck and omens and so forth.
They met Foster Lane, but Madison doesn't think he is cute because he has acne.
It's not like people CHOOSE to have acne. My brother has it, and my friends are always asking all slyly, "Mmmm, who's he??" It's creepy. And weird.
"Maybe everything happened so we could see that the best lucky charm was with us all along--each other."
GAG! This isn't "Sesame Street".
Lol. Madison and Aimee play that apple game where you twist off the stem and poke through the skin. Aimee gets WD, for Walter Diaz!!! But he's supposed to be Madison's "true love"? Oh well.
Madison gets HJ, and is like, "Oh no, not Hugh!" Um, duh. Hart Jones.
WHOA. As soon as Madison gets home, Hart IMs her and asks if she would like to go skating with him. Well, him, and all their friends, but still.
Okay, and it WAS on IM, but it's a start.
Madison's Computer Tip:
The Internet is a great place to search for trends, fashion tips, and other ideas about what's hot - and in my case, what's not.
Fun, fun, fun. The next book is more serious, and a little lamer, as Madison takes out her frustrations on Poison Ivy. It's like permanent PMS or something. Hopefully she'll be better by #20.
Monday, June 9, 2008
CSI is so passe, or FTFO Madison Finn #17: On the Case
This is one of the ones that I could never remember the title to. Seriously, I could rattle off all 25 Madison Finn titles...except this one. I don't know why. It wasn't very exciting.
Plot: Madison loves "Crime Time", an exciting TV show where crimes are solved!!! Sounds like the Far Hills version of CSI. Soon, Madison begins to think SHE can solve crimes!!
People humor her for a little while, and she ends up solving a few petty cases (like The Case of the Missing Keys and The Case of the Lost Kittens), but then she stumbles across a real live mystery at her very own school!
It seems Mr. Olivetti, Madison's flute teacher, lost a very important piece of music. Some people believe it was stolen.
Madison rushes to track down the supposed thief, but does so without the support of her BFF, Aimee. In fact, Aimee seems to think all this Private Investigation is *gasp* DUMB!! The two have several nasty fights, and it seems they will NEVER be friends again!
Thankfully, Madison crashes and burns just in time: the music wasn't STOLEN, just misplaced, and the person she had been suspecting was innocent. Madison admitted how stupid she was to her friends and they welcomed her back with open arms. Sort of.
More notes:
Dang. Maddie is obsessed. She doesn't eat dinner and yells at her mom when she interrupts "Crime Time". And she has a crush on Major Demille. I mean, what freak has a crush on characters from TV...?
Besides me?
Argh. Francine turns off the TV because it isn't proper viewing material...then turns it back on because her daughter complains. Way to be consistent.
Fun, Fiona comes over to watch a "Crime Time" marathon. Par-tay. Actually, I did that with my friend back in the day. We watched nothing but MTV for six hours.
"Fiona had been "going out" (at least that's what they called it) with one of Madison's best guy friends, Walter "Egg" Diaz, for a little while. At first, Madison had hated the idea of their dating, but she was getting used to it over time."
WHOA WHOA WHOA. Madison hated that Egg and Fiona were together??? WHEN??? I don't remember that EVER. She was always like, "Hey, Fiona, go jump in Egg's lap!"
I hate when Madison gets serious about stupid things.
Tonight, we meet a robber who wears a different disguise for every robbery he commits. Last week, he broke into houses wearing a rabbit suit. Yesterday, he knocked off a bank wearing a red beard and a patch over one eye. Tomorrow, who knows what he'll be wearing?
Fiona: A hula skirt. HAHAHAHA.
Madison: Fiona, these are serious crimes.
Fiona: Serious? In a rabbit suit?
Yeah, Maddie, lighten up.
Ugh, lame, the episode is based on true events, and the girls hear "scary noises" so they assume it's THE MASKED AVENGER.
It's just AIMEE, of course!! She wants to join their party!
Egg is jealous of Major Demille???
"Who is that turkey?"
Lol. I'll be saying that a lot from now on.
Madison is being spazzy with Hart again!!
Madison: Hi, Hart.
Hart: I saw you earlier. I guess you didn't see me.
Madison: Oh? No, I guess I didn't. I've been a little preoccupied today. Sorry.
Hart: So, what's up? Why are you so preoccupied?
Madison: Yes.
Hart: Huh?
Madison: I'm fine.
Hart: *sigh* Actually, what I asked you was-
Madison: Do you ever watch "Crime Time"?
Hart is still being way mean to Ivy...but she IS pretty annoying.
Hart plays piano??? Random.
Yay, Blossom's puppies are mentioned!
Ew, Hart adopted one of them and named it Bones Jones.
Aimee kept two of the puppies and named them Yin and Yang. Or rather, her mom did. Ha ha, let's make New Age jokes! -_-
Oh no, some of Madison's things are missing!! Sounds like a mystery.
Phin took them and made a Madison shrine. Weird.
Tie did that. Well, she took my stuff, but didn't make a shrine out of it.
She just chewed most of it.
Ugh, Maddie reminds me so much of the Pony Pals. They were obsessed with snooping and solving mysteries, too.
Fall Fling-A-Ding?? No comment.
"She had just been ogling a pair of cute corduroy pants with flowers embroidered near the cuff."
I try to avoid the word ogling. Sounds pervy.
Madison eavesdrops on a conversation between two nameless girls...and it sounds suspicious.
Well, it does to her, anyway. They sound like they're talking about drugs or a concert. Okay, I guess drugs are pretty suspicious.
Madison: Excuse me.
8th grader: Yeah? What are you looking at?
Madison: Um, I thought you were...I thought...I heard...girls....
LOL. I heard girls.
Madison picks up a scrap of paper with a date, time, and address. Drug deal...or fabulous party??
Ivy seems way jealous of Madison these days. She tells Madison to back away from Hart.
Argh. Mr. Olivetti, Madison's flute teacher, is Italian, so he has the stupid Mario/Luigi accent.
Madison needs better comebacks. She loses another Ivy showdown.
AAargh, I can't believe she's SERIOUS!!
Madison: Don't you think I was pretty clever, Dad, for figuring out what Phin was doing?
Dad: Very, very clever.
Madison: Cut it out, Dad! I was thinking...maybe I should be a detective when I grow up.
Don't encourage her, Stephanie!
"A detective! That's what I wanted to be when I was your age! Believe it or not, Maddie. Sometimes my friends used to call me Sleuthie instead of Stephie at my high school back in Texas."
Stephanie often talks to Madison like she's a little kid. Or just stupid.
Dan is sort of stalking Madison still.
Lame. Some ninth graders randomly come up and start calling Dan a fatty.
"Madison felt her fists clench.
If she were only a little taller...and a little stronger..."
It wouldn't do any good, Maddie. Dan would NOT thank you.
The only reason Dan asked Madison to help him at the animal shelter is because there's an EMERGENCY!!
Someone keeps taking the animals out of their cages! And taking dog treats and chew toys!
And he hasn't told his mom.
Madison suspects Lana.
"LANA! IT'S YOU!"
Lana dies of cardiac arrest.
She just wanted to hold the kittens and feed the puppies!!
How did Madison know?? Cat hair on her sweater.
Okay, so stupid. Eileen, Dan's mom, doesn't fire Lana because it's NOT THAT BIG A DEAL. Dan's like, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH SHE BROKE THE RULES!"
What?? Major Demille is blonde with blue eyes. Reggie, Bigwheels' BF, was last described as having black hair and hazel eyes.
But, somehow, Reggie looks like Major Demille? HOW??
Madison literally wants to be the next Nancy Drew.
Too bad Emma Roberts put you out of a job.
Madison's friends hate it when Ivy makes fun of people, but then they gossip in front of Lana and tell everyone how she "stole" the kittens. It's so mean!
Aimee thinks all this detective work is stupid and that Madison is a little obsessed.
Whoa...could it be? Am I on Aimee's side for once?
Yay, the whole gang is going to see "Curse of the Diamond"!
I wonder if that's the next Indiana Jones sequel.
Ew, I hate it when people have to make it a COUPLE THING.
Aimee doesn't want to go, so Madison might not have a movie "partner" if Hart doesn't ask her!
Lindsay gossips SO MUCH! She's always like, "Omg, guys, I heard a juicy rumor!"
So much for learning her lesson after The Wall incident.
Hm, it seems like some precious object has been stolen at school.
"What does 'precious object' mean? Sounds like a bunch of hooey."
Golly gee, Aimee, that sure sounds like a bunch of hooey, by George.
Lindsay and Fiona think the teachers should come to Maddie for help.
How can they say that with a straight face?
SO UNCALLED FOR!!!
Aimee: I just think you should watch your back.
Madison: You're just made because I might get noticed for this and I have a guy who likes me....
TAKE IT BACK! TAKE IT BACK NOW! Why is Madison such a loser in this book?
Of course, Madison assumes Ivy is the thief. Because she hates her.
Glad to know she's not blinded by prejudice or anything.
"I have nothing else to say to you," is either the lamest comeback ever...or the best.
Madison goes to the address on the slip of paper...and it's a PARTY.
So much for encriminating evidence.
She meets Mariah, Egg's sister, and Mariah's friend Penelope...
...and Penelope is one of the suspicious girls from the library!
Madison thinks it's weird that Penelope is nice.
What's wrong with being nice? Some people are just bubbly like that.
She sees the initials PKO on Penelope's bag.
OH NO! Could it be O for Olivetti?
Um, how about P for Penelope??? You don't know her last name; it probably starts with an O. STupid.
Uh oh. Madison and Aimee have a BIG FIGHT.
BalletGrl: u really expect me 2 believe that there's some school conspiracy and people r stealing bags it sounds dumb
MadFinn: not people stealing bags just 1 person P. and how can you say it's DUMB
BalletGrl: it seems dumb that's all sorry
MadFinn: WELL YOU ARE DUMB
Then, though she feels guilty, she chooses to watch a new episode of "Crime Time" rather than apologize to her best friend.
This relationship is destined to fail.
Madison thinks up an alias using all of her favorite girl names:
Charlotte Helena Isobel Marguerite Phoebe Antoinette
Yeah. That's a good one. Not suspicious at all.
Madison can't understand why Aimee is so moody. After all, Madison supports her ballet; why can't Aimee accept her detectiving???
What a stupid question. SHe can't be serious.
Hm. The stolen item turns out to be old sheet music.
WHY WOULD YOU TAKE THAT TO SCHOOL??? OF COURSE IT'S GOING TO GET STOLEN!
Uh oh. Fiona and Egg are having problems.
They had a big fight...but Fiona can't remember what it was about. Riiight.
Madison: You guys can't both bail out of going to the movies! That isn't fair.
Aimee: Isn't fair for who? Can't you make goo-goo eyes at Hart if you go by yourself?
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!
They start fighting again, and Fiona's like, "Um, um, LET'S MAKE COOKIES!"
Madison questions the staff members...and they're not allowed to reveal any information about the theft.
"Why so bummed out? Did Hart just dump you?"
Oh...hello, Ivy.
Seriously, Mr. Olivetti is dumb. If you bring something REALLY valuable to school, it's most likely going to get stolen.
Madison hears Ivy say, "I can't believe I got away with it!"
But she was only referring to getting away with wearing a semi-scandalous top.
Uh oh, Hart didn't call to tell Madison about the change in movie times. He must not want to be her "partner" for the movies after all.
You actually need a chaperone to get into a PG-13 movie if you're under 13?? Weird. Never happened to me.
Oooh, Madison gets to sit next to Hart in the car.
Hm, could Chet be interested in Aimee??
Madison decides to rethink her alias. Hm, how about making an acronym of her favorite names?
Charlotte Helena Isobel Marguerite Phoebe Antoinette - otherwise known as CHIMPA!
Then it hits her: FINNSTER is the perfect alias!!
Because no one will know it's really you, even though your LAST NAME is FINN.
Madison decides to confront Penelope about the black bag and ASK her if she stole the music.
Yeah, that'll go over well.
"Oh, my God, who are you? Nancy Drew?"
Might as well admit it, Madison.
IT'S NOT MR. OLIVETTI'S BAG! PENELOPE IS INNOCENT!
Can you say no duh??? PKO are, of course, HER initials, and it was just in the band room because she left it in there after band class!!!
Madison's like...*blink blink blink* "May I see inside your bag?"
I applaud Penelope for not slapping her.
Madison starts doodling and it somehow ALL GOES TERRIBLY WRONG.
Madison Demille
Maddie Demille
Mrs. Demille
Finnster Demille
Madison Jones
Mrs. Jones
Surprise!
Mr. Olivetti's music wasn't STOLEN...he LOST IT.
Of course. My dad does that EVERY DAY.
Heh, it would be so funny if Mr. Olivetti had stolen the music in the first place!
Uh oh. Even Hart is laughing at Madison's mistake.
Wow, did Penelope tell everyone? Harsh.
Ivy starts to make fun of her...but Hart stands up for her!! Yay, Hart to the rescue!
"She had it coming, Finnster."
It is sort of all Lindsay's fault.
Aww, I love Dan so much.
Just like when she was sick, Dan is the only one who e-mails her and makes her feel better.
"Madison realized what a good friend Dan was. He always had something supportive and nice to say."
Awwwww.
Argh. Aimee and Madison make up over the internet.
They fought over the internet, they made up over the internet...their relationship seems way fake.
Then again, I'm not one to talk.
And Aimee, for some inexplicable reason, admits that she's too obsessed with dance and that Madison was right all along.
Uhhh...not really.
Madison's Computer Tip:
Use a computer document to make lists and keep track of pals and enemies.
Okay. I'll remember that, Madison.
Ugh. I hate that one. It's always been one of my least favorite books. That and #19. #18 sucks, too, and I'll post that tomorrow. It's more Madison/Aimee drama.
Plot: Madison loves "Crime Time", an exciting TV show where crimes are solved!!! Sounds like the Far Hills version of CSI. Soon, Madison begins to think SHE can solve crimes!!
People humor her for a little while, and she ends up solving a few petty cases (like The Case of the Missing Keys and The Case of the Lost Kittens), but then she stumbles across a real live mystery at her very own school!
It seems Mr. Olivetti, Madison's flute teacher, lost a very important piece of music. Some people believe it was stolen.
Madison rushes to track down the supposed thief, but does so without the support of her BFF, Aimee. In fact, Aimee seems to think all this Private Investigation is *gasp* DUMB!! The two have several nasty fights, and it seems they will NEVER be friends again!
Thankfully, Madison crashes and burns just in time: the music wasn't STOLEN, just misplaced, and the person she had been suspecting was innocent. Madison admitted how stupid she was to her friends and they welcomed her back with open arms. Sort of.
More notes:
Dang. Maddie is obsessed. She doesn't eat dinner and yells at her mom when she interrupts "Crime Time". And she has a crush on Major Demille. I mean, what freak has a crush on characters from TV...?
Besides me?
Argh. Francine turns off the TV because it isn't proper viewing material...then turns it back on because her daughter complains. Way to be consistent.
Fun, Fiona comes over to watch a "Crime Time" marathon. Par-tay. Actually, I did that with my friend back in the day. We watched nothing but MTV for six hours.
"Fiona had been "going out" (at least that's what they called it) with one of Madison's best guy friends, Walter "Egg" Diaz, for a little while. At first, Madison had hated the idea of their dating, but she was getting used to it over time."
WHOA WHOA WHOA. Madison hated that Egg and Fiona were together??? WHEN??? I don't remember that EVER. She was always like, "Hey, Fiona, go jump in Egg's lap!"
I hate when Madison gets serious about stupid things.
Tonight, we meet a robber who wears a different disguise for every robbery he commits. Last week, he broke into houses wearing a rabbit suit. Yesterday, he knocked off a bank wearing a red beard and a patch over one eye. Tomorrow, who knows what he'll be wearing?
Fiona: A hula skirt. HAHAHAHA.
Madison: Fiona, these are serious crimes.
Fiona: Serious? In a rabbit suit?
Yeah, Maddie, lighten up.
Ugh, lame, the episode is based on true events, and the girls hear "scary noises" so they assume it's THE MASKED AVENGER.
It's just AIMEE, of course!! She wants to join their party!
Egg is jealous of Major Demille???
"Who is that turkey?"
Lol. I'll be saying that a lot from now on.
Madison is being spazzy with Hart again!!
Madison: Hi, Hart.
Hart: I saw you earlier. I guess you didn't see me.
Madison: Oh? No, I guess I didn't. I've been a little preoccupied today. Sorry.
Hart: So, what's up? Why are you so preoccupied?
Madison: Yes.
Hart: Huh?
Madison: I'm fine.
Hart: *sigh* Actually, what I asked you was-
Madison: Do you ever watch "Crime Time"?
Hart is still being way mean to Ivy...but she IS pretty annoying.
Hart plays piano??? Random.
Yay, Blossom's puppies are mentioned!
Ew, Hart adopted one of them and named it Bones Jones.
Aimee kept two of the puppies and named them Yin and Yang. Or rather, her mom did. Ha ha, let's make New Age jokes! -_-
Oh no, some of Madison's things are missing!! Sounds like a mystery.
Phin took them and made a Madison shrine. Weird.
Tie did that. Well, she took my stuff, but didn't make a shrine out of it.
She just chewed most of it.
Ugh, Maddie reminds me so much of the Pony Pals. They were obsessed with snooping and solving mysteries, too.
Fall Fling-A-Ding?? No comment.
"She had just been ogling a pair of cute corduroy pants with flowers embroidered near the cuff."
I try to avoid the word ogling. Sounds pervy.
Madison eavesdrops on a conversation between two nameless girls...and it sounds suspicious.
Well, it does to her, anyway. They sound like they're talking about drugs or a concert. Okay, I guess drugs are pretty suspicious.
Madison: Excuse me.
8th grader: Yeah? What are you looking at?
Madison: Um, I thought you were...I thought...I heard...girls....
LOL. I heard girls.
Madison picks up a scrap of paper with a date, time, and address. Drug deal...or fabulous party??
Ivy seems way jealous of Madison these days. She tells Madison to back away from Hart.
Argh. Mr. Olivetti, Madison's flute teacher, is Italian, so he has the stupid Mario/Luigi accent.
Madison needs better comebacks. She loses another Ivy showdown.
AAargh, I can't believe she's SERIOUS!!
Madison: Don't you think I was pretty clever, Dad, for figuring out what Phin was doing?
Dad: Very, very clever.
Madison: Cut it out, Dad! I was thinking...maybe I should be a detective when I grow up.
Don't encourage her, Stephanie!
"A detective! That's what I wanted to be when I was your age! Believe it or not, Maddie. Sometimes my friends used to call me Sleuthie instead of Stephie at my high school back in Texas."
Stephanie often talks to Madison like she's a little kid. Or just stupid.
Dan is sort of stalking Madison still.
Lame. Some ninth graders randomly come up and start calling Dan a fatty.
"Madison felt her fists clench.
If she were only a little taller...and a little stronger..."
It wouldn't do any good, Maddie. Dan would NOT thank you.
The only reason Dan asked Madison to help him at the animal shelter is because there's an EMERGENCY!!
Someone keeps taking the animals out of their cages! And taking dog treats and chew toys!
And he hasn't told his mom.
Madison suspects Lana.
"LANA! IT'S YOU!"
Lana dies of cardiac arrest.
She just wanted to hold the kittens and feed the puppies!!
How did Madison know?? Cat hair on her sweater.
Okay, so stupid. Eileen, Dan's mom, doesn't fire Lana because it's NOT THAT BIG A DEAL. Dan's like, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH SHE BROKE THE RULES!"
What?? Major Demille is blonde with blue eyes. Reggie, Bigwheels' BF, was last described as having black hair and hazel eyes.
But, somehow, Reggie looks like Major Demille? HOW??
Madison literally wants to be the next Nancy Drew.
Too bad Emma Roberts put you out of a job.
Madison's friends hate it when Ivy makes fun of people, but then they gossip in front of Lana and tell everyone how she "stole" the kittens. It's so mean!
Aimee thinks all this detective work is stupid and that Madison is a little obsessed.
Whoa...could it be? Am I on Aimee's side for once?
Yay, the whole gang is going to see "Curse of the Diamond"!
I wonder if that's the next Indiana Jones sequel.
Ew, I hate it when people have to make it a COUPLE THING.
Aimee doesn't want to go, so Madison might not have a movie "partner" if Hart doesn't ask her!
Lindsay gossips SO MUCH! She's always like, "Omg, guys, I heard a juicy rumor!"
So much for learning her lesson after The Wall incident.
Hm, it seems like some precious object has been stolen at school.
"What does 'precious object' mean? Sounds like a bunch of hooey."
Golly gee, Aimee, that sure sounds like a bunch of hooey, by George.
Lindsay and Fiona think the teachers should come to Maddie for help.
How can they say that with a straight face?
SO UNCALLED FOR!!!
Aimee: I just think you should watch your back.
Madison: You're just made because I might get noticed for this and I have a guy who likes me....
TAKE IT BACK! TAKE IT BACK NOW! Why is Madison such a loser in this book?
Of course, Madison assumes Ivy is the thief. Because she hates her.
Glad to know she's not blinded by prejudice or anything.
"I have nothing else to say to you," is either the lamest comeback ever...or the best.
Madison goes to the address on the slip of paper...and it's a PARTY.
So much for encriminating evidence.
She meets Mariah, Egg's sister, and Mariah's friend Penelope...
...and Penelope is one of the suspicious girls from the library!
Madison thinks it's weird that Penelope is nice.
What's wrong with being nice? Some people are just bubbly like that.
She sees the initials PKO on Penelope's bag.
OH NO! Could it be O for Olivetti?
Um, how about P for Penelope??? You don't know her last name; it probably starts with an O. STupid.
Uh oh. Madison and Aimee have a BIG FIGHT.
BalletGrl: u really expect me 2 believe that there's some school conspiracy and people r stealing bags it sounds dumb
MadFinn: not people stealing bags just 1 person P. and how can you say it's DUMB
BalletGrl: it seems dumb that's all sorry
MadFinn: WELL YOU ARE DUMB
Then, though she feels guilty, she chooses to watch a new episode of "Crime Time" rather than apologize to her best friend.
This relationship is destined to fail.
Madison thinks up an alias using all of her favorite girl names:
Charlotte Helena Isobel Marguerite Phoebe Antoinette
Yeah. That's a good one. Not suspicious at all.
Madison can't understand why Aimee is so moody. After all, Madison supports her ballet; why can't Aimee accept her detectiving???
What a stupid question. SHe can't be serious.
Hm. The stolen item turns out to be old sheet music.
WHY WOULD YOU TAKE THAT TO SCHOOL??? OF COURSE IT'S GOING TO GET STOLEN!
Uh oh. Fiona and Egg are having problems.
They had a big fight...but Fiona can't remember what it was about. Riiight.
Madison: You guys can't both bail out of going to the movies! That isn't fair.
Aimee: Isn't fair for who? Can't you make goo-goo eyes at Hart if you go by yourself?
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!
They start fighting again, and Fiona's like, "Um, um, LET'S MAKE COOKIES!"
Madison questions the staff members...and they're not allowed to reveal any information about the theft.
"Why so bummed out? Did Hart just dump you?"
Oh...hello, Ivy.
Seriously, Mr. Olivetti is dumb. If you bring something REALLY valuable to school, it's most likely going to get stolen.
Madison hears Ivy say, "I can't believe I got away with it!"
But she was only referring to getting away with wearing a semi-scandalous top.
Uh oh, Hart didn't call to tell Madison about the change in movie times. He must not want to be her "partner" for the movies after all.
You actually need a chaperone to get into a PG-13 movie if you're under 13?? Weird. Never happened to me.
Oooh, Madison gets to sit next to Hart in the car.
Hm, could Chet be interested in Aimee??
Madison decides to rethink her alias. Hm, how about making an acronym of her favorite names?
Charlotte Helena Isobel Marguerite Phoebe Antoinette - otherwise known as CHIMPA!
Then it hits her: FINNSTER is the perfect alias!!
Because no one will know it's really you, even though your LAST NAME is FINN.
Madison decides to confront Penelope about the black bag and ASK her if she stole the music.
Yeah, that'll go over well.
"Oh, my God, who are you? Nancy Drew?"
Might as well admit it, Madison.
IT'S NOT MR. OLIVETTI'S BAG! PENELOPE IS INNOCENT!
Can you say no duh??? PKO are, of course, HER initials, and it was just in the band room because she left it in there after band class!!!
Madison's like...*blink blink blink* "May I see inside your bag?"
I applaud Penelope for not slapping her.
Madison starts doodling and it somehow ALL GOES TERRIBLY WRONG.
Madison Demille
Maddie Demille
Mrs. Demille
Finnster Demille
Madison Jones
Mrs. Jones
Surprise!
Mr. Olivetti's music wasn't STOLEN...he LOST IT.
Of course. My dad does that EVERY DAY.
Heh, it would be so funny if Mr. Olivetti had stolen the music in the first place!
Uh oh. Even Hart is laughing at Madison's mistake.
Wow, did Penelope tell everyone? Harsh.
Ivy starts to make fun of her...but Hart stands up for her!! Yay, Hart to the rescue!
"She had it coming, Finnster."
It is sort of all Lindsay's fault.
Aww, I love Dan so much.
Just like when she was sick, Dan is the only one who e-mails her and makes her feel better.
"Madison realized what a good friend Dan was. He always had something supportive and nice to say."
Awwwww.
Argh. Aimee and Madison make up over the internet.
They fought over the internet, they made up over the internet...their relationship seems way fake.
Then again, I'm not one to talk.
And Aimee, for some inexplicable reason, admits that she's too obsessed with dance and that Madison was right all along.
Uhhh...not really.
Madison's Computer Tip:
Use a computer document to make lists and keep track of pals and enemies.
Okay. I'll remember that, Madison.
Ugh. I hate that one. It's always been one of my least favorite books. That and #19. #18 sucks, too, and I'll post that tomorrow. It's more Madison/Aimee drama.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
There's just something about older men, or FTFO Madison Finn #16: Three's a Crowd
As school has been ending and Tie has been chewing up all my slippers, there's nothing I've felt like doing less than posting on this blog.
Wait. Does that sentence even work?
Oh well. I've just been busy. I think I read this book sometime in the beginning of May, too. I probably won't remember what the page markers even mean.
Plot: Madison feels terrible. She has the flu and is being forced to stay home for close to a week!! Not that she cares; who likes school?
She starts to go a little stir-crazy, however, when her busy mom calls Gramma Helen over from Chicago to take care of Madison, and Gramma Helen is very old-fashioned. Madison isn't even allowed to go on her laptop!!
The final straw is when Madison notices a cute guy who lives across the street. Whaaat??? How could she have not noticed him before??? His name is Josh, he plays hockey, and communicates with Madison via bedroom window (he writes notes for her to see, like, "How R U?").
When Madison finally gets back to school, she is in LUV. She follows Josh around, has lots of wonderfuly intellectual conversations with him, and ends up blowing off Hart several times. Uh oh.
One day, while at Freeze Palace with her dad, Madison runs into Josh...and his GIRLFRIEND!!! :O
She is heartbroken, of course.
Then her friends cheer her up and Madison realizes they never had a chance anyway.
Then she goes off and hangs with Hart.
More notes:
Today's Mental Floss:
If an international airliner crashed exactly on the U.S.-Mexican border, where would authorities be required to bury the survivors!!
When I first got this book, I tried to figure this out for 10 minutes and failed.
They have a big English assignment on any topic of their choosing - except for extreme sports, serial killers, video games, or biographies of current celebrities, rap stars, or sports stars.
There goes my idea.
Weird. Madison and Fiona get sick at the SAME TIME.
Egg and Fiona are so weird and couple-y. It would be super awkward to hang out with them.
Back to the mental floss: Why would anyone bury survivors??? HAHAHAHA! Dang. I wish I'd guessed that.
"Get thyselves to the nurse's office, young ladies, before we all catch your bugs, okay?"
Why is Mr. Gibbons trying to sound like Shakespeare?
Nurse Shim still creeps me out.
Whoa, they all have fevers of 102.
Aimee's sick, too!! Weeeird.
AAAAGH. I hate that you can't leave school when you're sick without parental consent, even if you live 2 minutes away. I couldn't get ahold of either parent for a LONG TIME when I got sick and they almost made me stay and suffer at school. Raaaah.
But Madison finally called her dad, like I did, so she was able to go home.
OMG!!! Madison sneezes on Hart's sweater, and I mean SNEEZES. There's a HUGE loogie on his shirt.
But Hart seems to be okay with it?
Ewww, tofu broth!!?? Who would want to drink that when they're sick? Wouldn't it just make them sicker?
My brother started eating tofu recently, and he says it tastes like a diaper, but he loves it.
Possibly because he pours Johnny's Tenderizing Seasoning Salt all over it before he eats it.
Mom: You know what? You look pale.
Madison: But I always look pale, don't I?
We were talking about that in jazz band. Paul felt the need to mention that I was the second-whitest kid in school, after him. Thanks, Paul.
Psych, Madison has bronchitis.
And her friends just have colds. How lame is that?
Madison's mom and dad always pick fights. Not awkward, or anything.
But Jeff comes over with chicken, and Fran offers him wine when she knows he doesn't drink?
"Well, I'll leave you to your chicken."
That sounds so weird, but fun to say.
Sick people just want TLC.
"It was a boy. He had red hair, or at least it appeared red under the street lamp. He wore an old corduroy jacket, ripped jeans, and lumberjack boots. The big dog sniffed madly at a hydrant."
Lol. In 7th grade there was a boy in my neighborhood with dachsunds, and I was like, "Omg, boyz!!" But he's shorter than me, now, and I don't know what happened to his dogs.
Yay!! If my grandma came over to take care of me when I was sick, I'd be so excited.
Only my grandma lives in Washington, so I see her all the time.
If Grandma Nina came over, it'd be pretty cool, though. I haven't seen her in 2 years.
Awww, Dan e-mails her. I love that boy.
Someone told me ur sick. No way b/c I am @ the clinic $ there are 5 lizards here right now and they are sick 2!!! I had 2 tell u b/c u always laff @ stuff like that.
He names the lizards Wizzy, Fizzy, Dizzy, Tizzy, and Lizzy.
-_-
Then Egg offers to pick up her and Fiona's homework.
At the end of the e-mail, he grudgingly offers to pick up Aimee's, too. Lol.
Hey, you can like 2 guys at the same time. Nothing wrong with that.
Strange. Gramma Helen got a fortune cookie that said she would be traveling to faraway places, and here she is in New York!
Connor got one that said, "You like Chinese Food."
Lol, Gramma's like, "You lay in bed, and I'll run a eucalyptus bubble bath and make some saltwater gurgle while the cold-air vaporizer charges," and Madison's like, "Whatever, Gramma, can we just play cards?"
The girls always talk about how mean Poison Ivy is, but Lindsay sends them this e-mail that's practically 8 pages of ridiculing her outfit.
I guess she never really got over the whole "Fat Camp Loser" thing.
:O HART BLEW OFF POISON IVY!!
They were supposed to work on the English project together, but he stood her up and then pretended not to know what she was talking about.
Okay, even if it is Poison Ivy, that's really mean. Hart's a jerk.
Hart might like another girl besides Ivy...but that could be anyone.
Come on, Madison, it's so you.
Chicken lemon orzo soup???
I'd rather have orange juice and crackers.
Bigwheels is all, "Omg, I found this website where you can send free e-cards!!"
Aren't there millions of those sites around??? They're not exactly a new invention, Bigwheels.
Madison tells Bigwheels about the new boy:
"I had this dream last night that he was spying on me and wanted to meet me."
Wow. That would've creeped me out.
Agh, I love optical illusions, which is what Madison, Aimee, Fiona, and Lindsay pick for their English project.
I remember reading "The Outsiders"!
"Stay gold, Ponyboy."
Egg comes over with Madison's homework, and Gramma Helen FREAKS OUT. "Did I meet this boy the last time I visited? Why are boys calling on you when you're sick in bed?"
She sounds like my dad. Kevin, Alexis, and I bought ice cream at 7/11 and my dad was like, "Who's he?? Is he your friend? Is he in band? Well, of course he's in band. Oh, hi Alexis."
WHOA. Egg apparently knows EVERYTHING about Madison's hot neighbor! His name's Josh, he's in 9th grade (ooooh, an older boy! Lol), he plays hockey, and is friends with Drew.
Then Egg suddenly gets defensive and is like, "What about Hart, Maddie?"
ROFL! "I thought you dug Hart."
Can you dig it? Yes, I can. I've been waiting such a long time for Saturday.
Sorry. Chicago moment.
Oooooh. Egg crushes all of Maddie's hopes and dreams!
Madison: Does Hart know...that I like him?
Egg: I think so. But so what? He doesn't care.
:O WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT???
Madison: He doesn't care?
Egg: I don't know what he thinks. We don't really talk about it.
EGG! THAT'S DIFFERENT THAN NOT CARING!!
What is it about older guys that make girls giggle incessantly???
Possibly because all the guys our own age aren't as hot??
Bigwheels sends this dumb list of things to do when you're sick. It's supposed to be hilarious.
Gramma's like, "A laptop? How fascinating. Show me how this titillating contraption works! I want to send an e-mail to Mabel!"
Frannie thinks work is more important than her daughter. How lame is that?
Whatever happened to Blossom's puppies? I want one.
Lindsay stalks Josh for a day and finds out the following information:
His full name is Josh Turner.
He's in 9th grade.
He plays hockey.
He also plays the accordion AND the tuba????
He's single.
Madison has cute pajama pants. I'm sort of jealous.
Then again, I have boxers!! :P
AAAAGH!! She spies Josh through her window.
He says "Hi There" and then goes to bed when Madison can't think up a fitting reply.
The secret is revealed:
Maybe I'll see him in the hallway and he'll ask me to have lunch with him at his table in the cafeteria. That would just burn Poison Ivy if I got to sit with the ninth graders at lunch!!
:P The girls at my school who are dating juniors are so annoying, like they're so much better than the rest of us. But, then again, it would be cool to be like, "Hehehe, your boyriend is 5'6". My boyfriend can drive...AND SHAVE!"
Ew. It's so nasty when you don't shower or change clothes when you're sick.
OMG, HART WAS ASKING ABOUT MADISON AT SCHOOL.
He asked Dan, which is sort of cold.
"I'm worried about the girl we both like, Dan. Do you know anything about her? Is she feeling okay?"
Hart is SUCH A JERK to have led Poison Ivy on this whole time. He thinks she's annoying and has an attitude and wishes she would just go away.
WHY DIDN'T YOU THINK THAT BEFORE??? She's shown her true colors so many times. Why do you have to be so mean NOW?
Uh oh. Would having a ninth-grader boyfriend be cooler than having HART as a boyfriend?
Maddie, say it isn't so!!
Whoas. If my kid was sick, I wouldn't go out of town until they were better.
Geez, Frannie.
Madison "talks" (via window) to Josh again, but he gets bored and turns off his lamp. BAD SIGN.
Madison wishes that Josh Turner would fall madly in love with her.
Awww.
We were watching Pam Stenzel, and she was talking about how older boys are creepy and can't get anyone to date them, so younger girls shouldn't, either.
When you put it that way, it's kind of true.
Frannie is dumping her only kid with Gramma Helen for a week, and when Madison says she wants a little time away from her overly nice old-fashioned Gramma, Fran's all, "You should be grateful, bla bla bla."
Way to justify leaving your sick kid at home. She's probably just leaving to get away from Helen, anyways. Quit being a hypocrite, Fran.
A boy comes to visit...and it's Egg. Again.
Surprise!! Hart and Drew are with him.
Wait...Lindsay made fun of Ivy's brown sweater near the beginning of the book...now Hart's wearing one.
:O!
Was Ivy wearing Hart's sweater??? So much for not liking her.
Or maybe...WHOA! This is like a soap opera!!!
And Hart is still a jerk.
Hart gives her flowers.
Madison's like, "Omg! *swoon*"
But it turns out they were from her dad and were sitting on the front porch.
Ooooooh.
Egg is so mean!
Madison: The flowers are from my dad.
Egg: Duh. Who else would send you flowers?
Surprise! Josh comes over. Madison spazzes out.
Hart tries to engage Madison in conversation, but she's like, "Uh-huh, yeah. So, Josh...."
Then she asks him [Hart] all these questions about Josh. Way to be heartless, Maddie.
Surprise! Madison's hair is a mess and her T-shirt is stained. Mwahaha. Murphy's law.
Gramma turns out to be a Betty. Who dated OLDER BOYS!!
Fran apparently dated every boy in Far Hills.
OMG, GRAMMA DATED SOMEONE FOUR AND A HALF YEARS OLDER THAN HER!! AT 16!!!
That's like me dating my brother. Only we're not related, but it's still semi-illegal, were we to have sex, but we wouldn't, but people would assume he's a pervert anyway, which he probably IS.
Mmm, this older gentlemen was named Charlie Francis. Helen liked the way he wore his ties. Euphemism for something else?
He asked her out when he was 20 and she was SIXTEEN!!!!
They also talk about Mackie, the butcher's son, and Gabriel, a boy in the church choir.
Whoas. They sound dreamy.
Madison thinks she might not like Hart as much!!
Her friends are like, "You can't forget Hart!! Btw, my brother knows Josh, want me to hook you up?"
Gramma wants Madison to go to bed at 8:30.
What? She's not 6!
Now Bigwheels is sick.
She wants to know what happened to Hart, too.
"What had happened to Hart? And what was Madison going to do about her change of heart?"
Mr. Danehy suggests Madison catch up on her science homework with the help of HART JONES.
Coincidence? Or not?
But she forgets about that when Josh comes over and talks to her!!!
Josh: Well...I have class.
Madison: See you through the window!!
Oh, Madison. You have no idea how NERDY that sounded.
Argh!!!! Hart's like, "Madison, can we talk?" and he leaves an empty seat next to him at lunch and EVERYTHING, and Madison's just like, "Whatever."
AAAAARGH!
Lindsay's like, "Let's send Fiona and Aimee an e-mail full of gossip!! Let's tell them about Josh! That's juicy!"
Excuse me, but how??? He's just a cute guy who talked to Madison once, and only to be polite.
M. C. Escher!!
"Tuesday afternoon, after turning in to Blueberry Steet on the walk home from school, Madison spotted Josh. He was way ahead of her, but Madison didn't think. She just started running.
'Hello!' Madison gasped when she caught up to him.
Josh whirled around. 'Whoa. Hello, yourself. I didn't hear you.'
Madison tried to keep from panting, but her mouth was dry from running so fast. She wiped her forehead and tried to look cool.
'Are you okay?' Josh asked. 'You're purple.'
'Oh, I have asthma,' Madison said. It was a strange lie, but it sounded a lot better than, 'Oh, I was just running to catch up to you.'"
OMG!!!! That's so hilarious!! "Oh, I have asthma!"
Josh has a pet poodle named Cuddles. Um...
Gramma Helen is confusing. First, she's like, "Fran, don't ditch your kid!" Then she's like, "Madison, you must understand your mom has a lot on her plate."
They watch Fran's new documentary, which is about AIDs. Gramma even starts crying.
Group hug!
Madison goes out to talk to Josh, and misinterprets all of his actions as, "He thinks I'm cute. He's speechless because I'm so beautiful."
BATTING YOUR EYES DOESN'T WORK.
Josh totally ditches her and is like, "Um, that's nice, I have to help my dad."
I REALLY don't think he likes you, Maddie.
Oh no!! She tries to window-chat with him, and he just goes to bed without answering.
Definitely a bad sign.
Madison tries to make pancakes. "I can't do this!!"
Sorry. Just struck me as funny.
OH NO!!! Hart tries to talk to Maddie and she's like, "Uh-huh. Uh-huh. What are you talking about?"
AAAGH!!1 MADISON FINN!!! DID YOU EVER LEARN SOCIAL SKILLS??
Lindsay: He is cute. I think you would make a nice couple.
Madison: Jeez, Lindsay! Why don't you just announce it over the loudspeaker?
Lol!!
Whatever. Aimee berates Maddie for liking someone who is "practically in high school."
You like someone who is "practically in Mensa", so shut up.
Madison reads an article entitled, "Two's Company, but three's a crowd: How do you choose when you like two?"
But she never gets to finish it, so she still can't decide.
"I think maybe it's a good idea if you're going out with that older guy. Guys our age can be such dorks."
Gusy in GENERAL can be dorks.
Madison sees Josh at Freeze Palace.
"Madison wanted to turn three shades of purple.
I'm with my dad.
It sounded so seventh grade."
Whoa, Madison and Josh have the same favorite ice cream flavor!
Too bad Josh has a girlfriend! Surprise! Her name is Remy...and he had his hand on THE SMALL OF HER BACK. You know what that means.
Madison runs out of the shop and cries the whole way home.
Bigwheels is going out with Reggie again AND her cat is having kittens.
Life is so unfair.
It doesn't seem like such a big deal, but Madison is totally heartbroken. It's really sad.
And she totally saw it coming, anyway.
Aimee is such a horrible friend.
"So that's it? That's the end of Josh? I was getting excited about the prospect of your dating some ninth grader. And then maybe you'd introduce me to some other ninth grader..."
How shallow.
Madison totally blew the Josh thing out of proportion.
HART CALLS!
Madison: What are you guys doing for your Web page project?
Hart: The Titanic.
Madison: That's deep.
Hart: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *more hysterical laughter*
Hart then proceeds to tell her how annoying Ivy is and how she's failing science.
JEEEEEERK.
OMG! He asks her out! Say no! Say yes!
She says yes.
Now they're going to the movies...as a couple...on Saturday!!!
Hart was worth the wait.
Whatever that means.
Madison's Computer Tip:
Use e-mail to keep in touch with friends and family when you're stuck at home.
Wise words.
I'm definitely DONE with the computer for now, so I'm going to chillax!!! (Nickolodeon word!) and read a while. Maybe I'll post on Monday.
Wait. Does that sentence even work?
Oh well. I've just been busy. I think I read this book sometime in the beginning of May, too. I probably won't remember what the page markers even mean.
Plot: Madison feels terrible. She has the flu and is being forced to stay home for close to a week!! Not that she cares; who likes school?
She starts to go a little stir-crazy, however, when her busy mom calls Gramma Helen over from Chicago to take care of Madison, and Gramma Helen is very old-fashioned. Madison isn't even allowed to go on her laptop!!
The final straw is when Madison notices a cute guy who lives across the street. Whaaat??? How could she have not noticed him before??? His name is Josh, he plays hockey, and communicates with Madison via bedroom window (he writes notes for her to see, like, "How R U?").
When Madison finally gets back to school, she is in LUV. She follows Josh around, has lots of wonderfuly intellectual conversations with him, and ends up blowing off Hart several times. Uh oh.
One day, while at Freeze Palace with her dad, Madison runs into Josh...and his GIRLFRIEND!!! :O
She is heartbroken, of course.
Then her friends cheer her up and Madison realizes they never had a chance anyway.
Then she goes off and hangs with Hart.
More notes:
Today's Mental Floss:
If an international airliner crashed exactly on the U.S.-Mexican border, where would authorities be required to bury the survivors!!
When I first got this book, I tried to figure this out for 10 minutes and failed.
They have a big English assignment on any topic of their choosing - except for extreme sports, serial killers, video games, or biographies of current celebrities, rap stars, or sports stars.
There goes my idea.
Weird. Madison and Fiona get sick at the SAME TIME.
Egg and Fiona are so weird and couple-y. It would be super awkward to hang out with them.
Back to the mental floss: Why would anyone bury survivors??? HAHAHAHA! Dang. I wish I'd guessed that.
"Get thyselves to the nurse's office, young ladies, before we all catch your bugs, okay?"
Why is Mr. Gibbons trying to sound like Shakespeare?
Nurse Shim still creeps me out.
Whoa, they all have fevers of 102.
Aimee's sick, too!! Weeeird.
AAAAGH. I hate that you can't leave school when you're sick without parental consent, even if you live 2 minutes away. I couldn't get ahold of either parent for a LONG TIME when I got sick and they almost made me stay and suffer at school. Raaaah.
But Madison finally called her dad, like I did, so she was able to go home.
OMG!!! Madison sneezes on Hart's sweater, and I mean SNEEZES. There's a HUGE loogie on his shirt.
But Hart seems to be okay with it?
Ewww, tofu broth!!?? Who would want to drink that when they're sick? Wouldn't it just make them sicker?
My brother started eating tofu recently, and he says it tastes like a diaper, but he loves it.
Possibly because he pours Johnny's Tenderizing Seasoning Salt all over it before he eats it.
Mom: You know what? You look pale.
Madison: But I always look pale, don't I?
We were talking about that in jazz band. Paul felt the need to mention that I was the second-whitest kid in school, after him. Thanks, Paul.
Psych, Madison has bronchitis.
And her friends just have colds. How lame is that?
Madison's mom and dad always pick fights. Not awkward, or anything.
But Jeff comes over with chicken, and Fran offers him wine when she knows he doesn't drink?
"Well, I'll leave you to your chicken."
That sounds so weird, but fun to say.
Sick people just want TLC.
"It was a boy. He had red hair, or at least it appeared red under the street lamp. He wore an old corduroy jacket, ripped jeans, and lumberjack boots. The big dog sniffed madly at a hydrant."
Lol. In 7th grade there was a boy in my neighborhood with dachsunds, and I was like, "Omg, boyz!!" But he's shorter than me, now, and I don't know what happened to his dogs.
Yay!! If my grandma came over to take care of me when I was sick, I'd be so excited.
Only my grandma lives in Washington, so I see her all the time.
If Grandma Nina came over, it'd be pretty cool, though. I haven't seen her in 2 years.
Awww, Dan e-mails her. I love that boy.
Someone told me ur sick. No way b/c I am @ the clinic $ there are 5 lizards here right now and they are sick 2!!! I had 2 tell u b/c u always laff @ stuff like that.
He names the lizards Wizzy, Fizzy, Dizzy, Tizzy, and Lizzy.
-_-
Then Egg offers to pick up her and Fiona's homework.
At the end of the e-mail, he grudgingly offers to pick up Aimee's, too. Lol.
Hey, you can like 2 guys at the same time. Nothing wrong with that.
Strange. Gramma Helen got a fortune cookie that said she would be traveling to faraway places, and here she is in New York!
Connor got one that said, "You like Chinese Food."
Lol, Gramma's like, "You lay in bed, and I'll run a eucalyptus bubble bath and make some saltwater gurgle while the cold-air vaporizer charges," and Madison's like, "Whatever, Gramma, can we just play cards?"
The girls always talk about how mean Poison Ivy is, but Lindsay sends them this e-mail that's practically 8 pages of ridiculing her outfit.
I guess she never really got over the whole "Fat Camp Loser" thing.
:O HART BLEW OFF POISON IVY!!
They were supposed to work on the English project together, but he stood her up and then pretended not to know what she was talking about.
Okay, even if it is Poison Ivy, that's really mean. Hart's a jerk.
Hart might like another girl besides Ivy...but that could be anyone.
Come on, Madison, it's so you.
Chicken lemon orzo soup???
I'd rather have orange juice and crackers.
Bigwheels is all, "Omg, I found this website where you can send free e-cards!!"
Aren't there millions of those sites around??? They're not exactly a new invention, Bigwheels.
Madison tells Bigwheels about the new boy:
"I had this dream last night that he was spying on me and wanted to meet me."
Wow. That would've creeped me out.
Agh, I love optical illusions, which is what Madison, Aimee, Fiona, and Lindsay pick for their English project.
I remember reading "The Outsiders"!
"Stay gold, Ponyboy."
Egg comes over with Madison's homework, and Gramma Helen FREAKS OUT. "Did I meet this boy the last time I visited? Why are boys calling on you when you're sick in bed?"
She sounds like my dad. Kevin, Alexis, and I bought ice cream at 7/11 and my dad was like, "Who's he?? Is he your friend? Is he in band? Well, of course he's in band. Oh, hi Alexis."
WHOA. Egg apparently knows EVERYTHING about Madison's hot neighbor! His name's Josh, he's in 9th grade (ooooh, an older boy! Lol), he plays hockey, and is friends with Drew.
Then Egg suddenly gets defensive and is like, "What about Hart, Maddie?"
ROFL! "I thought you dug Hart."
Can you dig it? Yes, I can. I've been waiting such a long time for Saturday.
Sorry. Chicago moment.
Oooooh. Egg crushes all of Maddie's hopes and dreams!
Madison: Does Hart know...that I like him?
Egg: I think so. But so what? He doesn't care.
:O WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT???
Madison: He doesn't care?
Egg: I don't know what he thinks. We don't really talk about it.
EGG! THAT'S DIFFERENT THAN NOT CARING!!
What is it about older guys that make girls giggle incessantly???
Possibly because all the guys our own age aren't as hot??
Bigwheels sends this dumb list of things to do when you're sick. It's supposed to be hilarious.
Gramma's like, "A laptop? How fascinating. Show me how this titillating contraption works! I want to send an e-mail to Mabel!"
Frannie thinks work is more important than her daughter. How lame is that?
Whatever happened to Blossom's puppies? I want one.
Lindsay stalks Josh for a day and finds out the following information:
His full name is Josh Turner.
He's in 9th grade.
He plays hockey.
He also plays the accordion AND the tuba????
He's single.
Madison has cute pajama pants. I'm sort of jealous.
Then again, I have boxers!! :P
AAAAGH!! She spies Josh through her window.
He says "Hi There" and then goes to bed when Madison can't think up a fitting reply.
The secret is revealed:
Maybe I'll see him in the hallway and he'll ask me to have lunch with him at his table in the cafeteria. That would just burn Poison Ivy if I got to sit with the ninth graders at lunch!!
:P The girls at my school who are dating juniors are so annoying, like they're so much better than the rest of us. But, then again, it would be cool to be like, "Hehehe, your boyriend is 5'6". My boyfriend can drive...AND SHAVE!"
Ew. It's so nasty when you don't shower or change clothes when you're sick.
OMG, HART WAS ASKING ABOUT MADISON AT SCHOOL.
He asked Dan, which is sort of cold.
"I'm worried about the girl we both like, Dan. Do you know anything about her? Is she feeling okay?"
Hart is SUCH A JERK to have led Poison Ivy on this whole time. He thinks she's annoying and has an attitude and wishes she would just go away.
WHY DIDN'T YOU THINK THAT BEFORE??? She's shown her true colors so many times. Why do you have to be so mean NOW?
Uh oh. Would having a ninth-grader boyfriend be cooler than having HART as a boyfriend?
Maddie, say it isn't so!!
Whoas. If my kid was sick, I wouldn't go out of town until they were better.
Geez, Frannie.
Madison "talks" (via window) to Josh again, but he gets bored and turns off his lamp. BAD SIGN.
Madison wishes that Josh Turner would fall madly in love with her.
Awww.
We were watching Pam Stenzel, and she was talking about how older boys are creepy and can't get anyone to date them, so younger girls shouldn't, either.
When you put it that way, it's kind of true.
Frannie is dumping her only kid with Gramma Helen for a week, and when Madison says she wants a little time away from her overly nice old-fashioned Gramma, Fran's all, "You should be grateful, bla bla bla."
Way to justify leaving your sick kid at home. She's probably just leaving to get away from Helen, anyways. Quit being a hypocrite, Fran.
A boy comes to visit...and it's Egg. Again.
Surprise!! Hart and Drew are with him.
Wait...Lindsay made fun of Ivy's brown sweater near the beginning of the book...now Hart's wearing one.
:O!
Was Ivy wearing Hart's sweater??? So much for not liking her.
Or maybe...WHOA! This is like a soap opera!!!
And Hart is still a jerk.
Hart gives her flowers.
Madison's like, "Omg! *swoon*"
But it turns out they were from her dad and were sitting on the front porch.
Ooooooh.
Egg is so mean!
Madison: The flowers are from my dad.
Egg: Duh. Who else would send you flowers?
Surprise! Josh comes over. Madison spazzes out.
Hart tries to engage Madison in conversation, but she's like, "Uh-huh, yeah. So, Josh...."
Then she asks him [Hart] all these questions about Josh. Way to be heartless, Maddie.
Surprise! Madison's hair is a mess and her T-shirt is stained. Mwahaha. Murphy's law.
Gramma turns out to be a Betty. Who dated OLDER BOYS!!
Fran apparently dated every boy in Far Hills.
OMG, GRAMMA DATED SOMEONE FOUR AND A HALF YEARS OLDER THAN HER!! AT 16!!!
That's like me dating my brother. Only we're not related, but it's still semi-illegal, were we to have sex, but we wouldn't, but people would assume he's a pervert anyway, which he probably IS.
Mmm, this older gentlemen was named Charlie Francis. Helen liked the way he wore his ties. Euphemism for something else?
He asked her out when he was 20 and she was SIXTEEN!!!!
They also talk about Mackie, the butcher's son, and Gabriel, a boy in the church choir.
Whoas. They sound dreamy.
Madison thinks she might not like Hart as much!!
Her friends are like, "You can't forget Hart!! Btw, my brother knows Josh, want me to hook you up?"
Gramma wants Madison to go to bed at 8:30.
What? She's not 6!
Now Bigwheels is sick.
She wants to know what happened to Hart, too.
"What had happened to Hart? And what was Madison going to do about her change of heart?"
Mr. Danehy suggests Madison catch up on her science homework with the help of HART JONES.
Coincidence? Or not?
But she forgets about that when Josh comes over and talks to her!!!
Josh: Well...I have class.
Madison: See you through the window!!
Oh, Madison. You have no idea how NERDY that sounded.
Argh!!!! Hart's like, "Madison, can we talk?" and he leaves an empty seat next to him at lunch and EVERYTHING, and Madison's just like, "Whatever."
AAAAARGH!
Lindsay's like, "Let's send Fiona and Aimee an e-mail full of gossip!! Let's tell them about Josh! That's juicy!"
Excuse me, but how??? He's just a cute guy who talked to Madison once, and only to be polite.
M. C. Escher!!
"Tuesday afternoon, after turning in to Blueberry Steet on the walk home from school, Madison spotted Josh. He was way ahead of her, but Madison didn't think. She just started running.
'Hello!' Madison gasped when she caught up to him.
Josh whirled around. 'Whoa. Hello, yourself. I didn't hear you.'
Madison tried to keep from panting, but her mouth was dry from running so fast. She wiped her forehead and tried to look cool.
'Are you okay?' Josh asked. 'You're purple.'
'Oh, I have asthma,' Madison said. It was a strange lie, but it sounded a lot better than, 'Oh, I was just running to catch up to you.'"
OMG!!!! That's so hilarious!! "Oh, I have asthma!"
Josh has a pet poodle named Cuddles. Um...
Gramma Helen is confusing. First, she's like, "Fran, don't ditch your kid!" Then she's like, "Madison, you must understand your mom has a lot on her plate."
They watch Fran's new documentary, which is about AIDs. Gramma even starts crying.
Group hug!
Madison goes out to talk to Josh, and misinterprets all of his actions as, "He thinks I'm cute. He's speechless because I'm so beautiful."
BATTING YOUR EYES DOESN'T WORK.
Josh totally ditches her and is like, "Um, that's nice, I have to help my dad."
I REALLY don't think he likes you, Maddie.
Oh no!! She tries to window-chat with him, and he just goes to bed without answering.
Definitely a bad sign.
Madison tries to make pancakes. "I can't do this!!"
Sorry. Just struck me as funny.
OH NO!!! Hart tries to talk to Maddie and she's like, "Uh-huh. Uh-huh. What are you talking about?"
AAAGH!!1 MADISON FINN!!! DID YOU EVER LEARN SOCIAL SKILLS??
Lindsay: He is cute. I think you would make a nice couple.
Madison: Jeez, Lindsay! Why don't you just announce it over the loudspeaker?
Lol!!
Whatever. Aimee berates Maddie for liking someone who is "practically in high school."
You like someone who is "practically in Mensa", so shut up.
Madison reads an article entitled, "Two's Company, but three's a crowd: How do you choose when you like two?"
But she never gets to finish it, so she still can't decide.
"I think maybe it's a good idea if you're going out with that older guy. Guys our age can be such dorks."
Gusy in GENERAL can be dorks.
Madison sees Josh at Freeze Palace.
"Madison wanted to turn three shades of purple.
I'm with my dad.
It sounded so seventh grade."
Whoa, Madison and Josh have the same favorite ice cream flavor!
Too bad Josh has a girlfriend! Surprise! Her name is Remy...and he had his hand on THE SMALL OF HER BACK. You know what that means.
Madison runs out of the shop and cries the whole way home.
Bigwheels is going out with Reggie again AND her cat is having kittens.
Life is so unfair.
It doesn't seem like such a big deal, but Madison is totally heartbroken. It's really sad.
And she totally saw it coming, anyway.
Aimee is such a horrible friend.
"So that's it? That's the end of Josh? I was getting excited about the prospect of your dating some ninth grader. And then maybe you'd introduce me to some other ninth grader..."
How shallow.
Madison totally blew the Josh thing out of proportion.
HART CALLS!
Madison: What are you guys doing for your Web page project?
Hart: The Titanic.
Madison: That's deep.
Hart: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *more hysterical laughter*
Hart then proceeds to tell her how annoying Ivy is and how she's failing science.
JEEEEEERK.
OMG! He asks her out! Say no! Say yes!
She says yes.
Now they're going to the movies...as a couple...on Saturday!!!
Hart was worth the wait.
Whatever that means.
Madison's Computer Tip:
Use e-mail to keep in touch with friends and family when you're stuck at home.
Wise words.
I'm definitely DONE with the computer for now, so I'm going to chillax!!! (Nickolodeon word!) and read a while. Maybe I'll post on Monday.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Somebody's getting married! Part #3
I started this on the 19th!!! Sorry, I've been so busy!!!
Plot: It's the day of the wedding.
MADISON STILL HASN'T FINISHED THE COLLAGE!
She wakes up at 3 AM and manages to finish the thing AND write a really excellent poem in 2 short hours.
Tiffany comes by to pick her up, and finds Madison undressed (not naked, just in her pajamas).
Madison is worried her snobby cousin will make fun of her orange dress, but not only does Tiffany love the dress, but she turns out to be really nice, just overbearing and chatty.
It's time for the wedding. Madison gets through her Shakespeare reading without incident, and neither Jeff nor Stephanie runs away in tears. They stumble through the vows and become Mr. and Mrs. Jeffery Finn.
Yay, Madison and her dad are still super close.
Oh, and he loves the wedding present, as does Stephanie.
Madison returns home, where she finally reveals to Aimee and Fiona that she likes Hart.
Weee, how anticlimactic.
More notes:
Madison doesn't want the wedding to happen, because her future step-grandma is a witch, there are bad omens all around, and she wants her parents to get back together.
Bigwheels says, "I bet ur the prettiest girl there."
....
Maybe Bigwheels doesn't like Reggie (or boys) as much as she thought she did....
AAARGH! Aimee sends another e-mail, and it still sounds like she's blaming Madison for Fiona's problems. But then Aimee admits to not doing anything to make Fiona better, and claims it's because Madison's not there, and they have to do it together or whatever.
Ugh, I hate Aimee SOOO much.
Lame. Hart e-mails Madison about a BBQ at his house when he knows she'll be in Texas then. You suck, Hart.
Dad: In ten hours, I will marry Stephanie, and more than anything else on the planet, I want you to be okay with it.
Madison: I told you a zillion times, Dad, I'm okay with it.
Dad: I believed you before. I'm not so sure anymore.
Madison: Why can't you believe me now? I can't believe you don't believe that I believe....
:? What?
"Are you really marrying Stephanie tomorrow? But her family is so weird. And she's so...neurotic. She practically bawled her eyes out that night in here with me."
That's a good reason not to marry someone. They had a bad day. -_-
"Madison had totally lied to Dad. Of course she knew about love. After all, that was really the only thing that explained how she felt about Hart Jones."
Don't believe the hype, Maddie. That's not love.
Don't you hate it when you wake up at 3 AM and remember you didn't do something important?
....
The time suddenly jumps from 5:30 to 6:30, then from 6:30 to 7:30.
WHERE DID THOSE TWO HOURS GO?
Argh...just...divorce is never a good thing!
Aimee's shame game worked!!!
Tiffany is so Sandy from Spongebob Squarepants!!
"Aw, jeepers! You're not even ready yet!"
Oh no...Madison has doubts about her orangey-orange dress! Tiffany's all, "Sounds...*cough cough* butt ugly! *cough cough*"
"Madison could almost feel the blood drain from her face. Panicked thoughts zipped through her head like little fireflies. She had a vision of herself walking up to the wedding ceremony at the Wolfe Ranch. There, a burly cowboy bouncer would greet her.
'Hey, you in the orange dress!' he would exclaim, readying his lasso to rope Madison like loose cattle. 'No orange allowed at this hoedown!'"
Argh. I hate zits that get bigger when you pop them.
That's what Madison has.
Tiffany is a brat because...Wanda is abusive??
Tiffany and Madison bond over ping-pong. Tiffany says she LIKES the orange dress!
She even offers to go back to her house to get an orange hairclip that would go perfectly with Madison's dress!!!
Tiffany sculpts Madison's hair into the wonder it is on the cover. Hm.
OMG, THERE ARE PONY RIDES AT STEPHANIE'S WEDDING!
Okay, weird. Kirk thinks Madison looks pretty.
Isn't she his new step-cousin thing?
Madison reads a cool beans Shakespeare sonnet at the wedding.
Jeff and Stephanie mess up the vows.
"I, Jeffrey Peter Finn, take thee, Stephanie Mae Wolfe, to be my lawful wedded husband...I mean, awful wedded wife...I mean...lawful...wedded...wife."
That would be a tad embarassing.
Madison spontaneously decides to hug Kirk.
Which TOTALLY weirds him out.
So Maddie decides not to make anymore romantic endeavors in the near future.
Stephanie almost married a guy named Bob.
But she called if off.
Madison dances with Kirk. He's not very good and they're related...but she got to dance with a boy.
You're never too old for a pony ride!
Madison twists her ankle while resisting a square dance with her dad.
So much for that.
"Loooove, soft as an easy chair...Loooove, fresh as the morning air..."
Sounds like the stuff they play on 106.9.
"Madison was thinking about love, too.
Back home - where her Hart was."
-_-
"There is nothing more romantic than forever, is there? Like, 'I will love you forever and ever into infinity, my darling Madison.'"
Actually, if any boy said that to me, I'd punch him in the face.
And not because my name isn't Madison.
Wow, that would suck, wouldn't it? "I'm in love with you, Mia...I mean, Lauren."
Who's Mia???
Stephanie and Jeff buy her a locket with picture of all of them at the beach.
This book actually came with a locket...that I lost. :( It was cheap, anyway.
Madison fixed the poem:
Your wedding is a special day
I'm sure you will be feeling good in every way
The sun is shining bright on your faces
Of course there is no one who can take your places
At first I thought this wedding would be weird
And that was just the start of what I feared
I know you're happy and I'm happy too
But I wondered what would happen with you two
And then I realized you will still be there
You will always listen and you will always care.
I know that sometime's I'm hard for Dad to take
Like when he says, "Maddie, give me a break."
Plus I have one mom and never had another
I'm not sure I know how to have a stepmother
I want our family to be complete and real
I want you both to know just how I feel.
You take care of me and let me share your life
Dad, I'm so glad you picked Stephanie for you wife
I hope that I will be a good part of the deal
I want you both to know just how I feel.
I wish you the best happy wedding time
Thanks for including me even though I can't really rhyme.
That sounds like something off Veggietales...or the Hallmark Channel.
Stephanie loves it and starts crying. Definitely Hallmark Channel.
Group hug!!!
"I've been obsessing about Hart again for some reason. I even had a dream about him last night! He was riding in this carriage and carrying flowers and candles. Don't ask."
Don't worry. I won't.
Though I vaguely remember some of my own obsessive dreams...involving the army...and Wild Waves!
Madison finally fesses up about her crush on Hart!!!
So, naturally, Aimee tells the whole world.
NO WAY. Jeff is letting Tiffany and her friends hang out with Madison in her hotel room, and they can watch whatever movies they want (they got the "R" route, because they're so devious) and order as much room service as they want!!! Dang!
I hate it when they're like, "The plane is beginning it's descent," and it takes another HALF HOUR.
Four hour flight from Chicago to Georgia! Whoo!
No more lost bags! No more lost bags!
Success! Madison's bag returns to New York with her!
Jeff orders a LIMOUSINE to take Madison home!!! It's like...4 miles!!!
Ha ha. A hilarious misunderstanding between Madison, Aimee, and Mom.
"I thought you liked Drew! Or maybe it was Dan. I can't remember."
"Pork-O!!? I thought you liked Hart? When did you like Dan? I know he likes you!"
Madison apparently didn't know Dan liked her...
...even though he practically STALKED HER in #11.
Home again. Home again. Stuff like that.
Madison's Computer Tip:
Use a laptop to keep a travel diary.
Okay. Phew. I'll do #16 tomorrow and maybe read some more later.
Plot: It's the day of the wedding.
MADISON STILL HASN'T FINISHED THE COLLAGE!
She wakes up at 3 AM and manages to finish the thing AND write a really excellent poem in 2 short hours.
Tiffany comes by to pick her up, and finds Madison undressed (not naked, just in her pajamas).
Madison is worried her snobby cousin will make fun of her orange dress, but not only does Tiffany love the dress, but she turns out to be really nice, just overbearing and chatty.
It's time for the wedding. Madison gets through her Shakespeare reading without incident, and neither Jeff nor Stephanie runs away in tears. They stumble through the vows and become Mr. and Mrs. Jeffery Finn.
Yay, Madison and her dad are still super close.
Oh, and he loves the wedding present, as does Stephanie.
Madison returns home, where she finally reveals to Aimee and Fiona that she likes Hart.
Weee, how anticlimactic.
More notes:
Madison doesn't want the wedding to happen, because her future step-grandma is a witch, there are bad omens all around, and she wants her parents to get back together.
Bigwheels says, "I bet ur the prettiest girl there."
....
Maybe Bigwheels doesn't like Reggie (or boys) as much as she thought she did....
AAARGH! Aimee sends another e-mail, and it still sounds like she's blaming Madison for Fiona's problems. But then Aimee admits to not doing anything to make Fiona better, and claims it's because Madison's not there, and they have to do it together or whatever.
Ugh, I hate Aimee SOOO much.
Lame. Hart e-mails Madison about a BBQ at his house when he knows she'll be in Texas then. You suck, Hart.
Dad: In ten hours, I will marry Stephanie, and more than anything else on the planet, I want you to be okay with it.
Madison: I told you a zillion times, Dad, I'm okay with it.
Dad: I believed you before. I'm not so sure anymore.
Madison: Why can't you believe me now? I can't believe you don't believe that I believe....
:? What?
"Are you really marrying Stephanie tomorrow? But her family is so weird. And she's so...neurotic. She practically bawled her eyes out that night in here with me."
That's a good reason not to marry someone. They had a bad day. -_-
"Madison had totally lied to Dad. Of course she knew about love. After all, that was really the only thing that explained how she felt about Hart Jones."
Don't believe the hype, Maddie. That's not love.
Don't you hate it when you wake up at 3 AM and remember you didn't do something important?
....
The time suddenly jumps from 5:30 to 6:30, then from 6:30 to 7:30.
WHERE DID THOSE TWO HOURS GO?
Argh...just...divorce is never a good thing!
Aimee's shame game worked!!!
Tiffany is so Sandy from Spongebob Squarepants!!
"Aw, jeepers! You're not even ready yet!"
Oh no...Madison has doubts about her orangey-orange dress! Tiffany's all, "Sounds...*cough cough* butt ugly! *cough cough*"
"Madison could almost feel the blood drain from her face. Panicked thoughts zipped through her head like little fireflies. She had a vision of herself walking up to the wedding ceremony at the Wolfe Ranch. There, a burly cowboy bouncer would greet her.
'Hey, you in the orange dress!' he would exclaim, readying his lasso to rope Madison like loose cattle. 'No orange allowed at this hoedown!'"
Argh. I hate zits that get bigger when you pop them.
That's what Madison has.
Tiffany is a brat because...Wanda is abusive??
Tiffany and Madison bond over ping-pong. Tiffany says she LIKES the orange dress!
She even offers to go back to her house to get an orange hairclip that would go perfectly with Madison's dress!!!
Tiffany sculpts Madison's hair into the wonder it is on the cover. Hm.
OMG, THERE ARE PONY RIDES AT STEPHANIE'S WEDDING!
Okay, weird. Kirk thinks Madison looks pretty.
Isn't she his new step-cousin thing?
Madison reads a cool beans Shakespeare sonnet at the wedding.
Jeff and Stephanie mess up the vows.
"I, Jeffrey Peter Finn, take thee, Stephanie Mae Wolfe, to be my lawful wedded husband...I mean, awful wedded wife...I mean...lawful...wedded...wife."
That would be a tad embarassing.
Madison spontaneously decides to hug Kirk.
Which TOTALLY weirds him out.
So Maddie decides not to make anymore romantic endeavors in the near future.
Stephanie almost married a guy named Bob.
But she called if off.
Madison dances with Kirk. He's not very good and they're related...but she got to dance with a boy.
You're never too old for a pony ride!
Madison twists her ankle while resisting a square dance with her dad.
So much for that.
"Loooove, soft as an easy chair...Loooove, fresh as the morning air..."
Sounds like the stuff they play on 106.9.
"Madison was thinking about love, too.
Back home - where her Hart was."
-_-
"There is nothing more romantic than forever, is there? Like, 'I will love you forever and ever into infinity, my darling Madison.'"
Actually, if any boy said that to me, I'd punch him in the face.
And not because my name isn't Madison.
Wow, that would suck, wouldn't it? "I'm in love with you, Mia...I mean, Lauren."
Who's Mia???
Stephanie and Jeff buy her a locket with picture of all of them at the beach.
This book actually came with a locket...that I lost. :( It was cheap, anyway.
Madison fixed the poem:
Your wedding is a special day
I'm sure you will be feeling good in every way
The sun is shining bright on your faces
Of course there is no one who can take your places
At first I thought this wedding would be weird
And that was just the start of what I feared
I know you're happy and I'm happy too
But I wondered what would happen with you two
And then I realized you will still be there
You will always listen and you will always care.
I know that sometime's I'm hard for Dad to take
Like when he says, "Maddie, give me a break."
Plus I have one mom and never had another
I'm not sure I know how to have a stepmother
I want our family to be complete and real
I want you both to know just how I feel.
You take care of me and let me share your life
Dad, I'm so glad you picked Stephanie for you wife
I hope that I will be a good part of the deal
I want you both to know just how I feel.
I wish you the best happy wedding time
Thanks for including me even though I can't really rhyme.
That sounds like something off Veggietales...or the Hallmark Channel.
Stephanie loves it and starts crying. Definitely Hallmark Channel.
Group hug!!!
"I've been obsessing about Hart again for some reason. I even had a dream about him last night! He was riding in this carriage and carrying flowers and candles. Don't ask."
Don't worry. I won't.
Though I vaguely remember some of my own obsessive dreams...involving the army...and Wild Waves!
Madison finally fesses up about her crush on Hart!!!
So, naturally, Aimee tells the whole world.
NO WAY. Jeff is letting Tiffany and her friends hang out with Madison in her hotel room, and they can watch whatever movies they want (they got the "R" route, because they're so devious) and order as much room service as they want!!! Dang!
I hate it when they're like, "The plane is beginning it's descent," and it takes another HALF HOUR.
Four hour flight from Chicago to Georgia! Whoo!
No more lost bags! No more lost bags!
Success! Madison's bag returns to New York with her!
Jeff orders a LIMOUSINE to take Madison home!!! It's like...4 miles!!!
Ha ha. A hilarious misunderstanding between Madison, Aimee, and Mom.
"I thought you liked Drew! Or maybe it was Dan. I can't remember."
"Pork-O!!? I thought you liked Hart? When did you like Dan? I know he likes you!"
Madison apparently didn't know Dan liked her...
...even though he practically STALKED HER in #11.
Home again. Home again. Stuff like that.
Madison's Computer Tip:
Use a laptop to keep a travel diary.
Okay. Phew. I'll do #16 tomorrow and maybe read some more later.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Somebody's getting married! Part #2
All right! Our Super Special continues!!
Plot: Madison just arrived in Texas, sans suitcase, and was forced to attend a welcome party thrown by Stephanie's family. All of Stephanie's relatives are overbearing and it's too hot outside to even think. Madison has a panic attack, and her dad disapproves of all the guests - he'd been under the impression it would be a SMALL wedding.
They get back to the hotel and Madison promises to make more of an effort to make friends.
The next day, at the rehearsal dinner, she meets Kirk (Stephanie's sexy nephew, whom she'd tried to hook Madison up with in #15) and Tiffany, a total Ivy clone!!
Now Stephanie and Dad are fighting!!
It's the day before the wedding, and Madison just wants to finish her wedding collage.
Then she receives news from home - Fiona's dad had a heart attack!!
Madison feels like a horrible friend.
Will our heroine be able to finish the collage with all this commotion?
More notes:
They meet a cowboy on the street...and he's Stephanie's cousin Tony!
How positively random.
Stephanie's dad's name is Wally.
!!!!
That's my grandpa's name!!
Why is corn chips and salsa considered a Texas-style snack?? I know SOO many Washingtonians who eat that all the time.
Madison sees a "really hot" boy. He says, "hi," grabs some chips...and walks away.
Madison has a conversation with her dad that sounds a LOT like a conversation I might have with my dad.
No need to elaborate on that.
Dad wants her to mingle with the other kids.
Kids? KIDS? "I'd would rather be with you, Dad."
Look on the bright side, Maddie: Your suitcase has arrived!!
There's nothing better than being sweaty and changing into clean, glorious clothes.
Whoa, random. Stephanie comes into her room sobbing.
Awkward....
Stephanie: I hope you know you can tell me anything.
Madison: Can I tell you that you make me nervous sometimes and that I think you try too hard and that I really, really, really don't want you to marry my dad?
Don't worry. She doesn't actually say any of that outloud.
"Stephanie and Dad disappeared throught the divider door, locking it behind them with a loud click."
Uh oh. They obviously want to be alone....
???
Fiona's dress is a perfect fit.
I guess they aren't as different as I thought.
Madison meets Stephanie's sister, Wanda, and Wanda is described as having big hair that looks pink.
I keep picturing cotton candy.
Ha ha ha.
It turns out Kirk, the "nerdy" nephew Madison so did not want to meet, is eXtReMeLy hot.
He's cuter than Hart?? Whoa, Madison has it bad.
Apparently everyone eats steak for breakfast in Texas.
Especially Kirk, whose family raises their own cattle. They have steak at every meal.
WHOA.
Jeff loves beef.
Frannie is VEGETARIAN.
Now WONDER their marriage didn't work out.
Madison decides to ditch her new "aunts" to go to the hotel by pretending to be sick.
Works every time.
:O FIONA'S DAD IS IN THE HOSPITAL. HE HAD A HEART ATTACK.
Aimee is the one who sends the e-mail, and she makes Madison feel all guilty, like she SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE.
She says stuff about how if Madison were there, they could cheer Fiona up like REAL friends.
Shut up, Aimee. Go cheer her up yourself.
Kirk doesn't sound that cute.
He's tall with brownish blond hair, cool clothes, and a cute accent.
Her friends start to accuse her of liking Hart...so, to change the subject, she's like, "Wait, did I tell you Kirk asked me to dance with him at the wedding?"
That's basically a confession right there.
Bigwheels talks about getting her own laptop.
Doesn't she already have her own computer???
And didn't she get a new one 100 pages ago???
Whatever. I'm lost.
Oh no, Wanda's car broke down!
Madison's like, "That's too bad...do I still have to go to the tea party?"
Ha.
But she still has to go. Darn.
"I have only been to one tea party in my life, in second grade, and there were dolls involved."
ME TOO!!
"Who wants a piece of paper with pictures and words stuck to it when you can have a life-size crystal collie or a complete set of silver serving pieces with little lassos on the end?"
Good question.
UGH! I hate it when parents badmouth someone, but then get mad when YOU badmouth them.
Okay, most guys are obsessed with food. I wish they would stop relating any guy who eats food to Dan "Porko" Ginsburg.
"Tiffany continued with her incessant chatter. Why wasn't anyone telling her to shut up? Madison wanted to thump Miss Texas Poison Ivy on the back and say, 'Um...clue phone, it's for you! You're not supposed to be talking now! Hello?'"
Seriously, who talks during a wedding rehearsal. I wish Madison had actually done that.
Stephanie's mom has OCD. "THE POSITION OF THE ALTAR IS ALL WRONG!"
Madison: This isn't what weddings are supposed to be like. Where is everyone going?
Kirk: Hey, at least the food is good.
Are...you...kidding me?
Typical guy behavior.
Yay, Assertive Madison sticks up for herself!
A small nose pimple??? Please. At least it's not in the middle of your forehead.
I picture Tiffany talking like Sandy Cheeks from "Spongebob Squarepants".
"As you can see, I'm a little outnumbered in the guest department. But my daughter, Maddie, makes up for all of it. She's watching over me."
Aaagh. I'd be embarassed.
Madison's totally fine, though.
Ooooh. Madison and her dad have this intimate Father-Daughter dance.
If only my dad wasn't afraid of physical touch.
To be continued....
Plot: Madison just arrived in Texas, sans suitcase, and was forced to attend a welcome party thrown by Stephanie's family. All of Stephanie's relatives are overbearing and it's too hot outside to even think. Madison has a panic attack, and her dad disapproves of all the guests - he'd been under the impression it would be a SMALL wedding.
They get back to the hotel and Madison promises to make more of an effort to make friends.
The next day, at the rehearsal dinner, she meets Kirk (Stephanie's sexy nephew, whom she'd tried to hook Madison up with in #15) and Tiffany, a total Ivy clone!!
Now Stephanie and Dad are fighting!!
It's the day before the wedding, and Madison just wants to finish her wedding collage.
Then she receives news from home - Fiona's dad had a heart attack!!
Madison feels like a horrible friend.
Will our heroine be able to finish the collage with all this commotion?
More notes:
They meet a cowboy on the street...and he's Stephanie's cousin Tony!
How positively random.
Stephanie's dad's name is Wally.
!!!!
That's my grandpa's name!!
Why is corn chips and salsa considered a Texas-style snack?? I know SOO many Washingtonians who eat that all the time.
Madison sees a "really hot" boy. He says, "hi," grabs some chips...and walks away.
Madison has a conversation with her dad that sounds a LOT like a conversation I might have with my dad.
No need to elaborate on that.
Dad wants her to mingle with the other kids.
Kids? KIDS? "I'd would rather be with you, Dad."
Look on the bright side, Maddie: Your suitcase has arrived!!
There's nothing better than being sweaty and changing into clean, glorious clothes.
Whoa, random. Stephanie comes into her room sobbing.
Awkward....
Stephanie: I hope you know you can tell me anything.
Madison: Can I tell you that you make me nervous sometimes and that I think you try too hard and that I really, really, really don't want you to marry my dad?
Don't worry. She doesn't actually say any of that outloud.
"Stephanie and Dad disappeared throught the divider door, locking it behind them with a loud click."
Uh oh. They obviously want to be alone....
???
Fiona's dress is a perfect fit.
I guess they aren't as different as I thought.
Madison meets Stephanie's sister, Wanda, and Wanda is described as having big hair that looks pink.
I keep picturing cotton candy.
Ha ha ha.
It turns out Kirk, the "nerdy" nephew Madison so did not want to meet, is eXtReMeLy hot.
He's cuter than Hart?? Whoa, Madison has it bad.
Apparently everyone eats steak for breakfast in Texas.
Especially Kirk, whose family raises their own cattle. They have steak at every meal.
WHOA.
Jeff loves beef.
Frannie is VEGETARIAN.
Now WONDER their marriage didn't work out.
Madison decides to ditch her new "aunts" to go to the hotel by pretending to be sick.
Works every time.
:O FIONA'S DAD IS IN THE HOSPITAL. HE HAD A HEART ATTACK.
Aimee is the one who sends the e-mail, and she makes Madison feel all guilty, like she SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE.
She says stuff about how if Madison were there, they could cheer Fiona up like REAL friends.
Shut up, Aimee. Go cheer her up yourself.
Kirk doesn't sound that cute.
He's tall with brownish blond hair, cool clothes, and a cute accent.
Her friends start to accuse her of liking Hart...so, to change the subject, she's like, "Wait, did I tell you Kirk asked me to dance with him at the wedding?"
That's basically a confession right there.
Bigwheels talks about getting her own laptop.
Doesn't she already have her own computer???
And didn't she get a new one 100 pages ago???
Whatever. I'm lost.
Oh no, Wanda's car broke down!
Madison's like, "That's too bad...do I still have to go to the tea party?"
Ha.
But she still has to go. Darn.
"I have only been to one tea party in my life, in second grade, and there were dolls involved."
ME TOO!!
"Who wants a piece of paper with pictures and words stuck to it when you can have a life-size crystal collie or a complete set of silver serving pieces with little lassos on the end?"
Good question.
UGH! I hate it when parents badmouth someone, but then get mad when YOU badmouth them.
Okay, most guys are obsessed with food. I wish they would stop relating any guy who eats food to Dan "Porko" Ginsburg.
"Tiffany continued with her incessant chatter. Why wasn't anyone telling her to shut up? Madison wanted to thump Miss Texas Poison Ivy on the back and say, 'Um...clue phone, it's for you! You're not supposed to be talking now! Hello?'"
Seriously, who talks during a wedding rehearsal. I wish Madison had actually done that.
Stephanie's mom has OCD. "THE POSITION OF THE ALTAR IS ALL WRONG!"
Madison: This isn't what weddings are supposed to be like. Where is everyone going?
Kirk: Hey, at least the food is good.
Are...you...kidding me?
Typical guy behavior.
Yay, Assertive Madison sticks up for herself!
A small nose pimple??? Please. At least it's not in the middle of your forehead.
I picture Tiffany talking like Sandy Cheeks from "Spongebob Squarepants".
"As you can see, I'm a little outnumbered in the guest department. But my daughter, Maddie, makes up for all of it. She's watching over me."
Aaagh. I'd be embarassed.
Madison's totally fine, though.
Ooooh. Madison and her dad have this intimate Father-Daughter dance.
If only my dad wasn't afraid of physical touch.
To be continued....
Friday, May 16, 2008
Somebody's getting married! Part #1
Our first Madison Finn Super Special! And this one truly is SUPER special: it's more than 300 pages, which is 3 TIMES as long as the average Pony Pals Super Special.
Beat that, Jeanne Betancourt.
Plot: Well, you knew it was coming. Madison's dad (Jeff) and his girlfriend Stephanie are getting married!!! In two weeks!!! In Texas!!! And they want Madison to be the junior bridesmaid!!!
Can I get a, "Yeee-haaw,"?
Madison has a whole BUNCH of conflicting emotions.
Stephanie not only wants her to be a bridesmaid and wear a TON of fancy clothes to all the parties her mother has planned, but wants her also to read one of Shakespeare's sonnets.
Hm. I wonder if it was one of the procreation sonnets.
No, really, I do.
But seriously. Madison? Stuttering stage-fright run-from-conflict Madison? You want HER to read a sonnet at your WEDDING?
Whatever. Your funeral.
Madison is SCAREDER THAN SCARED!!
So far, she's just arrived in Texas, and her suitcase is somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin!!! With no dress, no laptop, and no wedding gift in sight (she's trying to write a poem with no luck), what will our heroine do????
You'll find out later.
Most of this novel is actually just filler. She doesn't leave for Texas until page...90 or so.
To be continued...
More notes:
Before you tell your kids some big news, it's always good to SUCK UP to them and be REALLY obvious that something's on your mind.
They're getting married in two weeks???
To cope, Madison orders three pieces of chocolate cake.
That's my girl.
Madison's like, "Why are you marrying Stephanie, you just ditched my mom?"
A year IS pretty soon, I guess. Because, in Madison Finnland, time stopped right before 7th grade started, so it's always a year since the Big-D.
Which is weird, because if that's true, he met Stephanie like RIGHT AFTER the divorce, if they've been dating a while.
Sorry. Concrete random.
Stephanie almost got married once...but called it off. UH OH.
Yeah, Frannie (Madison's mom) knew, and she decided not to say anything?
And she's totally fine with the whole thing?
Hello, you were once MARRIED to this man! You once had SEX with this man! You have a DAUGHTER with this man?
Doesn't it bother you?
She is a little bothered by the two week notice.
Madison, like Anna Harley, RESISTS CHANGE.
The wedding invitation says, "Regrets Only."
Uh oh.
Madison has some regrets she'd like to share with the class.
Madison: At the end of the invite there's this line "regrets only" and I wanted to call him up and shout I HAVE REGRETS, DAD! DON'T DO IT!!!
Didn't Bigwheels get another kitten in the last book? Madison's just NOW addressing this?
Whaaat? Bigwheels spent all of #11 claiming she was in love with Reggie.
LIES!
What's wrong with dressing casual?
In Laurenland, it's casual Friday EVERY day!
How are Egg and Fiona still only "sort of" going out? Didn't he ask her out on a REAL DATE, where they HELD HANDS at the MOVIES? That's pretty serious.
Hehehe. He calls her "Fee" and she calls him "Walter".
Drew: *little rich boy* Cool, huh? *points to a row of golden torches* Mom got them shipped here from Samoa or something.
Aimee: Come on! You can get those at the home decorating store in downtown Far Hills for five bucks!
Drew: Really? Well, they're cool, anyhow.
Drew has a GIRLFRIEND.
I KNOW!!!
This is Stalker Drew who followed Maddie everywhere and asked her to the Heart to Heart Dance!!
I know he had to get over it sometime, but still, this is quite a blow.
I've been in a similar situation.
Maddie's all, "Wtf, I thought you liked me!"
Heheh, junior high girls.
"Look, over there! I think that's Ben! Over by the torch! *runs away*"
Hehe. I had a friend be like, "Omg, So-and-so complimented me! But I only like him a little bit."
....
Fiona, you hypocrite.
"I can't believe she acts that way around him."
Um...ahem? You and EGG?
Awkward. Madison has to go to dinner with Dad and Stephanie.
And it seems they REALLY want to be alone.
Everyone's crying and getting sappy.
Ooookaaay.
HA!
Stephanie: Maddie, in addition to the poem, I wanted to ask you if you would...oh...How do I say this? Jeff, help me out here.
Dad: What Stephanie is trying to say, Maddie, is will you stand up for her at the wedding?
Madison: I know, I just said I would stand up for her. I'll read the poem. I assumed that I would be standing up to do it...
HAHAHAHA! Oh, Madison, you crack me up.
Actually, I didn't know what "stand up for me" meant, either.
Basically, she wants her to be the junior maid of honor.
There are hundreds of Wolfes (Stephanie's family) coming...and 2 Finns (Jeff's family).
Stephanie's color scheme is "pale colors".
Sweet, I could just go naked.
Aw wait, I tanned a little.
Dad: Hey, Maddie, when you get the dress, just don't pick out some super short outfit with lots of Big Bird feathers.
Maddie: Okay, Dad. I guess I'll return the yellow boa and my leather miniskirt.
Mom: You can pick out whatever color dress you like, as long as it's a pale color. That was all she asked.
[Hey, at least she's letting you pick out your own dress, rather than picking a really ugly one for you.]
Madison: Pale? But I look ucky in pale colors. I'm pale!
Same here, Maddie.
Her friends still haven't guessed about Hart!!!
Madison's First Draft of the Wedding Poem
Your wedding is a special (ACK!!) day
And you will be feeling good in every way
The sun is shining bright on your FACES
And there is no one who can take your places
(No one?)
Thank u for making me a part of the day (change this word)
OH I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!!!!!
It could use some work.
Madison finds the perfect dress...and it's ORANGE, her favorite color.
And she runs into Elaine, Drew's new girlfriend, at the mall.
UH OH.
Elaine's really nice and oblivious to bragging.
She's on her way to meet Drew in the library in 15 minutes.
Madison wonders if they'll be doing something other than checking out books...
Such as checking out each other...
Who knows, maybe they'll even do a little studying...
And Drew will teach her a little French...
Hahaha, libraries are so useful for analogies.
Bigwheels is always:
A. sick
B. grounded
C. unable to go online because her computer crashed
Then she goes on to describe
A. her little brother and sister
B. her fight with her best friend
C. Reggie
D. her new pet
E. her new computer (whenever her computer crashes, SHE GETS A NEW ONE!!!)
Ooh, Bigwheels met a cute guy named Tommy. He has a billion freckles. Sounds...hot.
Dun dun dun!! The first mention of bras in a Madison Finn book!
Uh oh. Stephanie casually mentions that there will be few fancy parties, so Madison needs some more dressy outfits.
So Madison starts cleaning out her closet...Eminem-style.
Fiona loans her a dress.
Isn't Fiona like a foot taller, though?
Oh well. If it's a sundress, she could wear it as a sheath dress or something.
Ew, Fiona and Madison get in a WAY sappy discussion about love, and whether or not they'll ever fall in love and get MARRIED. Fiona wonders if Egg will ever pop the question.
Ha, yeah. If Egg ever decides to COMMIT.
Awkward conversation with Hart.
Bad. Or good?
But you're making him nervous.
Good? Or bad?
"Totally free! Thanks, Mr. G."
Chet made a poem!!
Uh oh. Aimee and Fiona saw Madison talking to Hart, and she was SO flirting with him just now.
We've passed page 90, and Madison STILL hasn't left for Texas.
"'Have a good trip, Finnster,' Hart said with a wave of his hand.
'I will,' Madison said, unable to take his eyes off Hart's tousled hair. For a split second, she had an overwhelming urge to throw her arms around him and give him a hug."
RESIST THE URGE, MADDIE! RESIST THE URGE!
Page 100: She just got on the plane.
Fiona and Aimee write her a really long letter, in which they accuse her of liking Drew.
Stephanie's Texas accent comes creeping back into her voice.
Like my dad, whenever he goes back home, he gets a really thick Southern accent.
Actually, that happens every time he talks on the phone with his parents.
Madison lost her suitcase.
Oh.
No.
Now she can't change clothes.
OR check her e-mail.
Madison gets her own hotel room!!! And it's really nice!!!
Stephanie and Dad get a room to themselves.
Uh oh.
Implying they're sexually active.
That's not something I'd want to know about my dad and his partner.
If my dad were to start dating another woman if my mom died in a tragic boating accident or something.
TV! Sofa! Minifridge!!! Pretty sweet hotel room, right?
Like the suite my grandparents got us for their anniversary??
Ooooh yeaaaah.
Lame. Egg asked Fiona to the movies...
...and then ditched her.
Well, he called her and told her he couldn't make it, which is different than being stood up, but still.
That's mean.
So we'll pick up where we left off next time.
Just remember that Stephanie and Dad are getting married in Texas.
Egg is a jerk.
And Madison has no clothes on!!!
To be continued....
Beat that, Jeanne Betancourt.
Plot: Well, you knew it was coming. Madison's dad (Jeff) and his girlfriend Stephanie are getting married!!! In two weeks!!! In Texas!!! And they want Madison to be the junior bridesmaid!!!
Can I get a, "Yeee-haaw,"?
Madison has a whole BUNCH of conflicting emotions.
Stephanie not only wants her to be a bridesmaid and wear a TON of fancy clothes to all the parties her mother has planned, but wants her also to read one of Shakespeare's sonnets.
Hm. I wonder if it was one of the procreation sonnets.
No, really, I do.
But seriously. Madison? Stuttering stage-fright run-from-conflict Madison? You want HER to read a sonnet at your WEDDING?
Whatever. Your funeral.
Madison is SCAREDER THAN SCARED!!
So far, she's just arrived in Texas, and her suitcase is somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin!!! With no dress, no laptop, and no wedding gift in sight (she's trying to write a poem with no luck), what will our heroine do????
You'll find out later.
Most of this novel is actually just filler. She doesn't leave for Texas until page...90 or so.
To be continued...
More notes:
Before you tell your kids some big news, it's always good to SUCK UP to them and be REALLY obvious that something's on your mind.
They're getting married in two weeks???
To cope, Madison orders three pieces of chocolate cake.
That's my girl.
Madison's like, "Why are you marrying Stephanie, you just ditched my mom?"
A year IS pretty soon, I guess. Because, in Madison Finnland, time stopped right before 7th grade started, so it's always a year since the Big-D.
Which is weird, because if that's true, he met Stephanie like RIGHT AFTER the divorce, if they've been dating a while.
Sorry. Concrete random.
Stephanie almost got married once...but called it off. UH OH.
Yeah, Frannie (Madison's mom) knew, and she decided not to say anything?
And she's totally fine with the whole thing?
Hello, you were once MARRIED to this man! You once had SEX with this man! You have a DAUGHTER with this man?
Doesn't it bother you?
She is a little bothered by the two week notice.
Madison, like Anna Harley, RESISTS CHANGE.
The wedding invitation says, "Regrets Only."
Uh oh.
Madison has some regrets she'd like to share with the class.
Madison: At the end of the invite there's this line "regrets only" and I wanted to call him up and shout I HAVE REGRETS, DAD! DON'T DO IT!!!
Didn't Bigwheels get another kitten in the last book? Madison's just NOW addressing this?
Whaaat? Bigwheels spent all of #11 claiming she was in love with Reggie.
LIES!
What's wrong with dressing casual?
In Laurenland, it's casual Friday EVERY day!
How are Egg and Fiona still only "sort of" going out? Didn't he ask her out on a REAL DATE, where they HELD HANDS at the MOVIES? That's pretty serious.
Hehehe. He calls her "Fee" and she calls him "Walter".
Drew: *little rich boy* Cool, huh? *points to a row of golden torches* Mom got them shipped here from Samoa or something.
Aimee: Come on! You can get those at the home decorating store in downtown Far Hills for five bucks!
Drew: Really? Well, they're cool, anyhow.
Drew has a GIRLFRIEND.
I KNOW!!!
This is Stalker Drew who followed Maddie everywhere and asked her to the Heart to Heart Dance!!
I know he had to get over it sometime, but still, this is quite a blow.
I've been in a similar situation.
Maddie's all, "Wtf, I thought you liked me!"
Heheh, junior high girls.
"Look, over there! I think that's Ben! Over by the torch! *runs away*"
Hehe. I had a friend be like, "Omg, So-and-so complimented me! But I only like him a little bit."
....
Fiona, you hypocrite.
"I can't believe she acts that way around him."
Um...ahem? You and EGG?
Awkward. Madison has to go to dinner with Dad and Stephanie.
And it seems they REALLY want to be alone.
Everyone's crying and getting sappy.
Ooookaaay.
HA!
Stephanie: Maddie, in addition to the poem, I wanted to ask you if you would...oh...How do I say this? Jeff, help me out here.
Dad: What Stephanie is trying to say, Maddie, is will you stand up for her at the wedding?
Madison: I know, I just said I would stand up for her. I'll read the poem. I assumed that I would be standing up to do it...
HAHAHAHA! Oh, Madison, you crack me up.
Actually, I didn't know what "stand up for me" meant, either.
Basically, she wants her to be the junior maid of honor.
There are hundreds of Wolfes (Stephanie's family) coming...and 2 Finns (Jeff's family).
Stephanie's color scheme is "pale colors".
Sweet, I could just go naked.
Aw wait, I tanned a little.
Dad: Hey, Maddie, when you get the dress, just don't pick out some super short outfit with lots of Big Bird feathers.
Maddie: Okay, Dad. I guess I'll return the yellow boa and my leather miniskirt.
Mom: You can pick out whatever color dress you like, as long as it's a pale color. That was all she asked.
[Hey, at least she's letting you pick out your own dress, rather than picking a really ugly one for you.]
Madison: Pale? But I look ucky in pale colors. I'm pale!
Same here, Maddie.
Her friends still haven't guessed about Hart!!!
Madison's First Draft of the Wedding Poem
Your wedding is a special (ACK!!) day
And you will be feeling good in every way
The sun is shining bright on your FACES
And there is no one who can take your places
(No one?)
Thank u for making me a part of the day (change this word)
OH I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!!!!!
It could use some work.
Madison finds the perfect dress...and it's ORANGE, her favorite color.
And she runs into Elaine, Drew's new girlfriend, at the mall.
UH OH.
Elaine's really nice and oblivious to bragging.
She's on her way to meet Drew in the library in 15 minutes.
Madison wonders if they'll be doing something other than checking out books...
Such as checking out each other...
Who knows, maybe they'll even do a little studying...
And Drew will teach her a little French...
Hahaha, libraries are so useful for analogies.
Bigwheels is always:
A. sick
B. grounded
C. unable to go online because her computer crashed
Then she goes on to describe
A. her little brother and sister
B. her fight with her best friend
C. Reggie
D. her new pet
E. her new computer (whenever her computer crashes, SHE GETS A NEW ONE!!!)
Ooh, Bigwheels met a cute guy named Tommy. He has a billion freckles. Sounds...hot.
Dun dun dun!! The first mention of bras in a Madison Finn book!
Uh oh. Stephanie casually mentions that there will be few fancy parties, so Madison needs some more dressy outfits.
So Madison starts cleaning out her closet...Eminem-style.
Fiona loans her a dress.
Isn't Fiona like a foot taller, though?
Oh well. If it's a sundress, she could wear it as a sheath dress or something.
Ew, Fiona and Madison get in a WAY sappy discussion about love, and whether or not they'll ever fall in love and get MARRIED. Fiona wonders if Egg will ever pop the question.
Ha, yeah. If Egg ever decides to COMMIT.
Awkward conversation with Hart.
Bad. Or good?
But you're making him nervous.
Good? Or bad?
"Totally free! Thanks, Mr. G."
Chet made a poem!!
Uh oh. Aimee and Fiona saw Madison talking to Hart, and she was SO flirting with him just now.
We've passed page 90, and Madison STILL hasn't left for Texas.
"'Have a good trip, Finnster,' Hart said with a wave of his hand.
'I will,' Madison said, unable to take his eyes off Hart's tousled hair. For a split second, she had an overwhelming urge to throw her arms around him and give him a hug."
RESIST THE URGE, MADDIE! RESIST THE URGE!
Page 100: She just got on the plane.
Fiona and Aimee write her a really long letter, in which they accuse her of liking Drew.
Stephanie's Texas accent comes creeping back into her voice.
Like my dad, whenever he goes back home, he gets a really thick Southern accent.
Actually, that happens every time he talks on the phone with his parents.
Madison lost her suitcase.
Oh.
No.
Now she can't change clothes.
OR check her e-mail.
Madison gets her own hotel room!!! And it's really nice!!!
Stephanie and Dad get a room to themselves.
Uh oh.
Implying they're sexually active.
That's not something I'd want to know about my dad and his partner.
If my dad were to start dating another woman if my mom died in a tragic boating accident or something.
TV! Sofa! Minifridge!!! Pretty sweet hotel room, right?
Like the suite my grandparents got us for their anniversary??
Ooooh yeaaaah.
Lame. Egg asked Fiona to the movies...
...and then ditched her.
Well, he called her and told her he couldn't make it, which is different than being stood up, but still.
That's mean.
So we'll pick up where we left off next time.
Just remember that Stephanie and Dad are getting married in Texas.
Egg is a jerk.
And Madison has no clothes on!!!
To be continued....
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