I started this on the 19th!!! Sorry, I've been so busy!!!
Plot: It's the day of the wedding.
MADISON STILL HASN'T FINISHED THE COLLAGE!
She wakes up at 3 AM and manages to finish the thing AND write a really excellent poem in 2 short hours.
Tiffany comes by to pick her up, and finds Madison undressed (not naked, just in her pajamas).
Madison is worried her snobby cousin will make fun of her orange dress, but not only does Tiffany love the dress, but she turns out to be really nice, just overbearing and chatty.
It's time for the wedding. Madison gets through her Shakespeare reading without incident, and neither Jeff nor Stephanie runs away in tears. They stumble through the vows and become Mr. and Mrs. Jeffery Finn.
Yay, Madison and her dad are still super close.
Oh, and he loves the wedding present, as does Stephanie.
Madison returns home, where she finally reveals to Aimee and Fiona that she likes Hart.
Weee, how anticlimactic.
More notes:
Madison doesn't want the wedding to happen, because her future step-grandma is a witch, there are bad omens all around, and she wants her parents to get back together.
Bigwheels says, "I bet ur the prettiest girl there."
....
Maybe Bigwheels doesn't like Reggie (or boys) as much as she thought she did....
AAARGH! Aimee sends another e-mail, and it still sounds like she's blaming Madison for Fiona's problems. But then Aimee admits to not doing anything to make Fiona better, and claims it's because Madison's not there, and they have to do it together or whatever.
Ugh, I hate Aimee SOOO much.
Lame. Hart e-mails Madison about a BBQ at his house when he knows she'll be in Texas then. You suck, Hart.
Dad: In ten hours, I will marry Stephanie, and more than anything else on the planet, I want you to be okay with it.
Madison: I told you a zillion times, Dad, I'm okay with it.
Dad: I believed you before. I'm not so sure anymore.
Madison: Why can't you believe me now? I can't believe you don't believe that I believe....
:? What?
"Are you really marrying Stephanie tomorrow? But her family is so weird. And she's so...neurotic. She practically bawled her eyes out that night in here with me."
That's a good reason not to marry someone. They had a bad day. -_-
"Madison had totally lied to Dad. Of course she knew about love. After all, that was really the only thing that explained how she felt about Hart Jones."
Don't believe the hype, Maddie. That's not love.
Don't you hate it when you wake up at 3 AM and remember you didn't do something important?
....
The time suddenly jumps from 5:30 to 6:30, then from 6:30 to 7:30.
WHERE DID THOSE TWO HOURS GO?
Argh...just...divorce is never a good thing!
Aimee's shame game worked!!!
Tiffany is so Sandy from Spongebob Squarepants!!
"Aw, jeepers! You're not even ready yet!"
Oh no...Madison has doubts about her orangey-orange dress! Tiffany's all, "Sounds...*cough cough* butt ugly! *cough cough*"
"Madison could almost feel the blood drain from her face. Panicked thoughts zipped through her head like little fireflies. She had a vision of herself walking up to the wedding ceremony at the Wolfe Ranch. There, a burly cowboy bouncer would greet her.
'Hey, you in the orange dress!' he would exclaim, readying his lasso to rope Madison like loose cattle. 'No orange allowed at this hoedown!'"
Argh. I hate zits that get bigger when you pop them.
That's what Madison has.
Tiffany is a brat because...Wanda is abusive??
Tiffany and Madison bond over ping-pong. Tiffany says she LIKES the orange dress!
She even offers to go back to her house to get an orange hairclip that would go perfectly with Madison's dress!!!
Tiffany sculpts Madison's hair into the wonder it is on the cover. Hm.
OMG, THERE ARE PONY RIDES AT STEPHANIE'S WEDDING!
Okay, weird. Kirk thinks Madison looks pretty.
Isn't she his new step-cousin thing?
Madison reads a cool beans Shakespeare sonnet at the wedding.
Jeff and Stephanie mess up the vows.
"I, Jeffrey Peter Finn, take thee, Stephanie Mae Wolfe, to be my lawful wedded husband...I mean, awful wedded wife...I mean...lawful...wedded...wife."
That would be a tad embarassing.
Madison spontaneously decides to hug Kirk.
Which TOTALLY weirds him out.
So Maddie decides not to make anymore romantic endeavors in the near future.
Stephanie almost married a guy named Bob.
But she called if off.
Madison dances with Kirk. He's not very good and they're related...but she got to dance with a boy.
You're never too old for a pony ride!
Madison twists her ankle while resisting a square dance with her dad.
So much for that.
"Loooove, soft as an easy chair...Loooove, fresh as the morning air..."
Sounds like the stuff they play on 106.9.
"Madison was thinking about love, too.
Back home - where her Hart was."
-_-
"There is nothing more romantic than forever, is there? Like, 'I will love you forever and ever into infinity, my darling Madison.'"
Actually, if any boy said that to me, I'd punch him in the face.
And not because my name isn't Madison.
Wow, that would suck, wouldn't it? "I'm in love with you, Mia...I mean, Lauren."
Who's Mia???
Stephanie and Jeff buy her a locket with picture of all of them at the beach.
This book actually came with a locket...that I lost. :( It was cheap, anyway.
Madison fixed the poem:
Your wedding is a special day
I'm sure you will be feeling good in every way
The sun is shining bright on your faces
Of course there is no one who can take your places
At first I thought this wedding would be weird
And that was just the start of what I feared
I know you're happy and I'm happy too
But I wondered what would happen with you two
And then I realized you will still be there
You will always listen and you will always care.
I know that sometime's I'm hard for Dad to take
Like when he says, "Maddie, give me a break."
Plus I have one mom and never had another
I'm not sure I know how to have a stepmother
I want our family to be complete and real
I want you both to know just how I feel.
You take care of me and let me share your life
Dad, I'm so glad you picked Stephanie for you wife
I hope that I will be a good part of the deal
I want you both to know just how I feel.
I wish you the best happy wedding time
Thanks for including me even though I can't really rhyme.
That sounds like something off Veggietales...or the Hallmark Channel.
Stephanie loves it and starts crying. Definitely Hallmark Channel.
Group hug!!!
"I've been obsessing about Hart again for some reason. I even had a dream about him last night! He was riding in this carriage and carrying flowers and candles. Don't ask."
Don't worry. I won't.
Though I vaguely remember some of my own obsessive dreams...involving the army...and Wild Waves!
Madison finally fesses up about her crush on Hart!!!
So, naturally, Aimee tells the whole world.
NO WAY. Jeff is letting Tiffany and her friends hang out with Madison in her hotel room, and they can watch whatever movies they want (they got the "R" route, because they're so devious) and order as much room service as they want!!! Dang!
I hate it when they're like, "The plane is beginning it's descent," and it takes another HALF HOUR.
Four hour flight from Chicago to Georgia! Whoo!
No more lost bags! No more lost bags!
Success! Madison's bag returns to New York with her!
Jeff orders a LIMOUSINE to take Madison home!!! It's like...4 miles!!!
Ha ha. A hilarious misunderstanding between Madison, Aimee, and Mom.
"I thought you liked Drew! Or maybe it was Dan. I can't remember."
"Pork-O!!? I thought you liked Hart? When did you like Dan? I know he likes you!"
Madison apparently didn't know Dan liked her...
...even though he practically STALKED HER in #11.
Home again. Home again. Stuff like that.
Madison's Computer Tip:
Use a laptop to keep a travel diary.
Okay. Phew. I'll do #16 tomorrow and maybe read some more later.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Somebody's getting married! Part #2
All right! Our Super Special continues!!
Plot: Madison just arrived in Texas, sans suitcase, and was forced to attend a welcome party thrown by Stephanie's family. All of Stephanie's relatives are overbearing and it's too hot outside to even think. Madison has a panic attack, and her dad disapproves of all the guests - he'd been under the impression it would be a SMALL wedding.
They get back to the hotel and Madison promises to make more of an effort to make friends.
The next day, at the rehearsal dinner, she meets Kirk (Stephanie's sexy nephew, whom she'd tried to hook Madison up with in #15) and Tiffany, a total Ivy clone!!
Now Stephanie and Dad are fighting!!
It's the day before the wedding, and Madison just wants to finish her wedding collage.
Then she receives news from home - Fiona's dad had a heart attack!!
Madison feels like a horrible friend.
Will our heroine be able to finish the collage with all this commotion?
More notes:
They meet a cowboy on the street...and he's Stephanie's cousin Tony!
How positively random.
Stephanie's dad's name is Wally.
!!!!
That's my grandpa's name!!
Why is corn chips and salsa considered a Texas-style snack?? I know SOO many Washingtonians who eat that all the time.
Madison sees a "really hot" boy. He says, "hi," grabs some chips...and walks away.
Madison has a conversation with her dad that sounds a LOT like a conversation I might have with my dad.
No need to elaborate on that.
Dad wants her to mingle with the other kids.
Kids? KIDS? "I'd would rather be with you, Dad."
Look on the bright side, Maddie: Your suitcase has arrived!!
There's nothing better than being sweaty and changing into clean, glorious clothes.
Whoa, random. Stephanie comes into her room sobbing.
Awkward....
Stephanie: I hope you know you can tell me anything.
Madison: Can I tell you that you make me nervous sometimes and that I think you try too hard and that I really, really, really don't want you to marry my dad?
Don't worry. She doesn't actually say any of that outloud.
"Stephanie and Dad disappeared throught the divider door, locking it behind them with a loud click."
Uh oh. They obviously want to be alone....
???
Fiona's dress is a perfect fit.
I guess they aren't as different as I thought.
Madison meets Stephanie's sister, Wanda, and Wanda is described as having big hair that looks pink.
I keep picturing cotton candy.
Ha ha ha.
It turns out Kirk, the "nerdy" nephew Madison so did not want to meet, is eXtReMeLy hot.
He's cuter than Hart?? Whoa, Madison has it bad.
Apparently everyone eats steak for breakfast in Texas.
Especially Kirk, whose family raises their own cattle. They have steak at every meal.
WHOA.
Jeff loves beef.
Frannie is VEGETARIAN.
Now WONDER their marriage didn't work out.
Madison decides to ditch her new "aunts" to go to the hotel by pretending to be sick.
Works every time.
:O FIONA'S DAD IS IN THE HOSPITAL. HE HAD A HEART ATTACK.
Aimee is the one who sends the e-mail, and she makes Madison feel all guilty, like she SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE.
She says stuff about how if Madison were there, they could cheer Fiona up like REAL friends.
Shut up, Aimee. Go cheer her up yourself.
Kirk doesn't sound that cute.
He's tall with brownish blond hair, cool clothes, and a cute accent.
Her friends start to accuse her of liking Hart...so, to change the subject, she's like, "Wait, did I tell you Kirk asked me to dance with him at the wedding?"
That's basically a confession right there.
Bigwheels talks about getting her own laptop.
Doesn't she already have her own computer???
And didn't she get a new one 100 pages ago???
Whatever. I'm lost.
Oh no, Wanda's car broke down!
Madison's like, "That's too bad...do I still have to go to the tea party?"
Ha.
But she still has to go. Darn.
"I have only been to one tea party in my life, in second grade, and there were dolls involved."
ME TOO!!
"Who wants a piece of paper with pictures and words stuck to it when you can have a life-size crystal collie or a complete set of silver serving pieces with little lassos on the end?"
Good question.
UGH! I hate it when parents badmouth someone, but then get mad when YOU badmouth them.
Okay, most guys are obsessed with food. I wish they would stop relating any guy who eats food to Dan "Porko" Ginsburg.
"Tiffany continued with her incessant chatter. Why wasn't anyone telling her to shut up? Madison wanted to thump Miss Texas Poison Ivy on the back and say, 'Um...clue phone, it's for you! You're not supposed to be talking now! Hello?'"
Seriously, who talks during a wedding rehearsal. I wish Madison had actually done that.
Stephanie's mom has OCD. "THE POSITION OF THE ALTAR IS ALL WRONG!"
Madison: This isn't what weddings are supposed to be like. Where is everyone going?
Kirk: Hey, at least the food is good.
Are...you...kidding me?
Typical guy behavior.
Yay, Assertive Madison sticks up for herself!
A small nose pimple??? Please. At least it's not in the middle of your forehead.
I picture Tiffany talking like Sandy Cheeks from "Spongebob Squarepants".
"As you can see, I'm a little outnumbered in the guest department. But my daughter, Maddie, makes up for all of it. She's watching over me."
Aaagh. I'd be embarassed.
Madison's totally fine, though.
Ooooh. Madison and her dad have this intimate Father-Daughter dance.
If only my dad wasn't afraid of physical touch.
To be continued....
Plot: Madison just arrived in Texas, sans suitcase, and was forced to attend a welcome party thrown by Stephanie's family. All of Stephanie's relatives are overbearing and it's too hot outside to even think. Madison has a panic attack, and her dad disapproves of all the guests - he'd been under the impression it would be a SMALL wedding.
They get back to the hotel and Madison promises to make more of an effort to make friends.
The next day, at the rehearsal dinner, she meets Kirk (Stephanie's sexy nephew, whom she'd tried to hook Madison up with in #15) and Tiffany, a total Ivy clone!!
Now Stephanie and Dad are fighting!!
It's the day before the wedding, and Madison just wants to finish her wedding collage.
Then she receives news from home - Fiona's dad had a heart attack!!
Madison feels like a horrible friend.
Will our heroine be able to finish the collage with all this commotion?
More notes:
They meet a cowboy on the street...and he's Stephanie's cousin Tony!
How positively random.
Stephanie's dad's name is Wally.
!!!!
That's my grandpa's name!!
Why is corn chips and salsa considered a Texas-style snack?? I know SOO many Washingtonians who eat that all the time.
Madison sees a "really hot" boy. He says, "hi," grabs some chips...and walks away.
Madison has a conversation with her dad that sounds a LOT like a conversation I might have with my dad.
No need to elaborate on that.
Dad wants her to mingle with the other kids.
Kids? KIDS? "I'd would rather be with you, Dad."
Look on the bright side, Maddie: Your suitcase has arrived!!
There's nothing better than being sweaty and changing into clean, glorious clothes.
Whoa, random. Stephanie comes into her room sobbing.
Awkward....
Stephanie: I hope you know you can tell me anything.
Madison: Can I tell you that you make me nervous sometimes and that I think you try too hard and that I really, really, really don't want you to marry my dad?
Don't worry. She doesn't actually say any of that outloud.
"Stephanie and Dad disappeared throught the divider door, locking it behind them with a loud click."
Uh oh. They obviously want to be alone....
???
Fiona's dress is a perfect fit.
I guess they aren't as different as I thought.
Madison meets Stephanie's sister, Wanda, and Wanda is described as having big hair that looks pink.
I keep picturing cotton candy.
Ha ha ha.
It turns out Kirk, the "nerdy" nephew Madison so did not want to meet, is eXtReMeLy hot.
He's cuter than Hart?? Whoa, Madison has it bad.
Apparently everyone eats steak for breakfast in Texas.
Especially Kirk, whose family raises their own cattle. They have steak at every meal.
WHOA.
Jeff loves beef.
Frannie is VEGETARIAN.
Now WONDER their marriage didn't work out.
Madison decides to ditch her new "aunts" to go to the hotel by pretending to be sick.
Works every time.
:O FIONA'S DAD IS IN THE HOSPITAL. HE HAD A HEART ATTACK.
Aimee is the one who sends the e-mail, and she makes Madison feel all guilty, like she SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE.
She says stuff about how if Madison were there, they could cheer Fiona up like REAL friends.
Shut up, Aimee. Go cheer her up yourself.
Kirk doesn't sound that cute.
He's tall with brownish blond hair, cool clothes, and a cute accent.
Her friends start to accuse her of liking Hart...so, to change the subject, she's like, "Wait, did I tell you Kirk asked me to dance with him at the wedding?"
That's basically a confession right there.
Bigwheels talks about getting her own laptop.
Doesn't she already have her own computer???
And didn't she get a new one 100 pages ago???
Whatever. I'm lost.
Oh no, Wanda's car broke down!
Madison's like, "That's too bad...do I still have to go to the tea party?"
Ha.
But she still has to go. Darn.
"I have only been to one tea party in my life, in second grade, and there were dolls involved."
ME TOO!!
"Who wants a piece of paper with pictures and words stuck to it when you can have a life-size crystal collie or a complete set of silver serving pieces with little lassos on the end?"
Good question.
UGH! I hate it when parents badmouth someone, but then get mad when YOU badmouth them.
Okay, most guys are obsessed with food. I wish they would stop relating any guy who eats food to Dan "Porko" Ginsburg.
"Tiffany continued with her incessant chatter. Why wasn't anyone telling her to shut up? Madison wanted to thump Miss Texas Poison Ivy on the back and say, 'Um...clue phone, it's for you! You're not supposed to be talking now! Hello?'"
Seriously, who talks during a wedding rehearsal. I wish Madison had actually done that.
Stephanie's mom has OCD. "THE POSITION OF THE ALTAR IS ALL WRONG!"
Madison: This isn't what weddings are supposed to be like. Where is everyone going?
Kirk: Hey, at least the food is good.
Are...you...kidding me?
Typical guy behavior.
Yay, Assertive Madison sticks up for herself!
A small nose pimple??? Please. At least it's not in the middle of your forehead.
I picture Tiffany talking like Sandy Cheeks from "Spongebob Squarepants".
"As you can see, I'm a little outnumbered in the guest department. But my daughter, Maddie, makes up for all of it. She's watching over me."
Aaagh. I'd be embarassed.
Madison's totally fine, though.
Ooooh. Madison and her dad have this intimate Father-Daughter dance.
If only my dad wasn't afraid of physical touch.
To be continued....
Friday, May 16, 2008
Somebody's getting married! Part #1
Our first Madison Finn Super Special! And this one truly is SUPER special: it's more than 300 pages, which is 3 TIMES as long as the average Pony Pals Super Special.
Beat that, Jeanne Betancourt.
Plot: Well, you knew it was coming. Madison's dad (Jeff) and his girlfriend Stephanie are getting married!!! In two weeks!!! In Texas!!! And they want Madison to be the junior bridesmaid!!!
Can I get a, "Yeee-haaw,"?
Madison has a whole BUNCH of conflicting emotions.
Stephanie not only wants her to be a bridesmaid and wear a TON of fancy clothes to all the parties her mother has planned, but wants her also to read one of Shakespeare's sonnets.
Hm. I wonder if it was one of the procreation sonnets.
No, really, I do.
But seriously. Madison? Stuttering stage-fright run-from-conflict Madison? You want HER to read a sonnet at your WEDDING?
Whatever. Your funeral.
Madison is SCAREDER THAN SCARED!!
So far, she's just arrived in Texas, and her suitcase is somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin!!! With no dress, no laptop, and no wedding gift in sight (she's trying to write a poem with no luck), what will our heroine do????
You'll find out later.
Most of this novel is actually just filler. She doesn't leave for Texas until page...90 or so.
To be continued...
More notes:
Before you tell your kids some big news, it's always good to SUCK UP to them and be REALLY obvious that something's on your mind.
They're getting married in two weeks???
To cope, Madison orders three pieces of chocolate cake.
That's my girl.
Madison's like, "Why are you marrying Stephanie, you just ditched my mom?"
A year IS pretty soon, I guess. Because, in Madison Finnland, time stopped right before 7th grade started, so it's always a year since the Big-D.
Which is weird, because if that's true, he met Stephanie like RIGHT AFTER the divorce, if they've been dating a while.
Sorry. Concrete random.
Stephanie almost got married once...but called it off. UH OH.
Yeah, Frannie (Madison's mom) knew, and she decided not to say anything?
And she's totally fine with the whole thing?
Hello, you were once MARRIED to this man! You once had SEX with this man! You have a DAUGHTER with this man?
Doesn't it bother you?
She is a little bothered by the two week notice.
Madison, like Anna Harley, RESISTS CHANGE.
The wedding invitation says, "Regrets Only."
Uh oh.
Madison has some regrets she'd like to share with the class.
Madison: At the end of the invite there's this line "regrets only" and I wanted to call him up and shout I HAVE REGRETS, DAD! DON'T DO IT!!!
Didn't Bigwheels get another kitten in the last book? Madison's just NOW addressing this?
Whaaat? Bigwheels spent all of #11 claiming she was in love with Reggie.
LIES!
What's wrong with dressing casual?
In Laurenland, it's casual Friday EVERY day!
How are Egg and Fiona still only "sort of" going out? Didn't he ask her out on a REAL DATE, where they HELD HANDS at the MOVIES? That's pretty serious.
Hehehe. He calls her "Fee" and she calls him "Walter".
Drew: *little rich boy* Cool, huh? *points to a row of golden torches* Mom got them shipped here from Samoa or something.
Aimee: Come on! You can get those at the home decorating store in downtown Far Hills for five bucks!
Drew: Really? Well, they're cool, anyhow.
Drew has a GIRLFRIEND.
I KNOW!!!
This is Stalker Drew who followed Maddie everywhere and asked her to the Heart to Heart Dance!!
I know he had to get over it sometime, but still, this is quite a blow.
I've been in a similar situation.
Maddie's all, "Wtf, I thought you liked me!"
Heheh, junior high girls.
"Look, over there! I think that's Ben! Over by the torch! *runs away*"
Hehe. I had a friend be like, "Omg, So-and-so complimented me! But I only like him a little bit."
....
Fiona, you hypocrite.
"I can't believe she acts that way around him."
Um...ahem? You and EGG?
Awkward. Madison has to go to dinner with Dad and Stephanie.
And it seems they REALLY want to be alone.
Everyone's crying and getting sappy.
Ooookaaay.
HA!
Stephanie: Maddie, in addition to the poem, I wanted to ask you if you would...oh...How do I say this? Jeff, help me out here.
Dad: What Stephanie is trying to say, Maddie, is will you stand up for her at the wedding?
Madison: I know, I just said I would stand up for her. I'll read the poem. I assumed that I would be standing up to do it...
HAHAHAHA! Oh, Madison, you crack me up.
Actually, I didn't know what "stand up for me" meant, either.
Basically, she wants her to be the junior maid of honor.
There are hundreds of Wolfes (Stephanie's family) coming...and 2 Finns (Jeff's family).
Stephanie's color scheme is "pale colors".
Sweet, I could just go naked.
Aw wait, I tanned a little.
Dad: Hey, Maddie, when you get the dress, just don't pick out some super short outfit with lots of Big Bird feathers.
Maddie: Okay, Dad. I guess I'll return the yellow boa and my leather miniskirt.
Mom: You can pick out whatever color dress you like, as long as it's a pale color. That was all she asked.
[Hey, at least she's letting you pick out your own dress, rather than picking a really ugly one for you.]
Madison: Pale? But I look ucky in pale colors. I'm pale!
Same here, Maddie.
Her friends still haven't guessed about Hart!!!
Madison's First Draft of the Wedding Poem
Your wedding is a special (ACK!!) day
And you will be feeling good in every way
The sun is shining bright on your FACES
And there is no one who can take your places
(No one?)
Thank u for making me a part of the day (change this word)
OH I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!!!!!
It could use some work.
Madison finds the perfect dress...and it's ORANGE, her favorite color.
And she runs into Elaine, Drew's new girlfriend, at the mall.
UH OH.
Elaine's really nice and oblivious to bragging.
She's on her way to meet Drew in the library in 15 minutes.
Madison wonders if they'll be doing something other than checking out books...
Such as checking out each other...
Who knows, maybe they'll even do a little studying...
And Drew will teach her a little French...
Hahaha, libraries are so useful for analogies.
Bigwheels is always:
A. sick
B. grounded
C. unable to go online because her computer crashed
Then she goes on to describe
A. her little brother and sister
B. her fight with her best friend
C. Reggie
D. her new pet
E. her new computer (whenever her computer crashes, SHE GETS A NEW ONE!!!)
Ooh, Bigwheels met a cute guy named Tommy. He has a billion freckles. Sounds...hot.
Dun dun dun!! The first mention of bras in a Madison Finn book!
Uh oh. Stephanie casually mentions that there will be few fancy parties, so Madison needs some more dressy outfits.
So Madison starts cleaning out her closet...Eminem-style.
Fiona loans her a dress.
Isn't Fiona like a foot taller, though?
Oh well. If it's a sundress, she could wear it as a sheath dress or something.
Ew, Fiona and Madison get in a WAY sappy discussion about love, and whether or not they'll ever fall in love and get MARRIED. Fiona wonders if Egg will ever pop the question.
Ha, yeah. If Egg ever decides to COMMIT.
Awkward conversation with Hart.
Bad. Or good?
But you're making him nervous.
Good? Or bad?
"Totally free! Thanks, Mr. G."
Chet made a poem!!
Uh oh. Aimee and Fiona saw Madison talking to Hart, and she was SO flirting with him just now.
We've passed page 90, and Madison STILL hasn't left for Texas.
"'Have a good trip, Finnster,' Hart said with a wave of his hand.
'I will,' Madison said, unable to take his eyes off Hart's tousled hair. For a split second, she had an overwhelming urge to throw her arms around him and give him a hug."
RESIST THE URGE, MADDIE! RESIST THE URGE!
Page 100: She just got on the plane.
Fiona and Aimee write her a really long letter, in which they accuse her of liking Drew.
Stephanie's Texas accent comes creeping back into her voice.
Like my dad, whenever he goes back home, he gets a really thick Southern accent.
Actually, that happens every time he talks on the phone with his parents.
Madison lost her suitcase.
Oh.
No.
Now she can't change clothes.
OR check her e-mail.
Madison gets her own hotel room!!! And it's really nice!!!
Stephanie and Dad get a room to themselves.
Uh oh.
Implying they're sexually active.
That's not something I'd want to know about my dad and his partner.
If my dad were to start dating another woman if my mom died in a tragic boating accident or something.
TV! Sofa! Minifridge!!! Pretty sweet hotel room, right?
Like the suite my grandparents got us for their anniversary??
Ooooh yeaaaah.
Lame. Egg asked Fiona to the movies...
...and then ditched her.
Well, he called her and told her he couldn't make it, which is different than being stood up, but still.
That's mean.
So we'll pick up where we left off next time.
Just remember that Stephanie and Dad are getting married in Texas.
Egg is a jerk.
And Madison has no clothes on!!!
To be continued....
Beat that, Jeanne Betancourt.
Plot: Well, you knew it was coming. Madison's dad (Jeff) and his girlfriend Stephanie are getting married!!! In two weeks!!! In Texas!!! And they want Madison to be the junior bridesmaid!!!
Can I get a, "Yeee-haaw,"?
Madison has a whole BUNCH of conflicting emotions.
Stephanie not only wants her to be a bridesmaid and wear a TON of fancy clothes to all the parties her mother has planned, but wants her also to read one of Shakespeare's sonnets.
Hm. I wonder if it was one of the procreation sonnets.
No, really, I do.
But seriously. Madison? Stuttering stage-fright run-from-conflict Madison? You want HER to read a sonnet at your WEDDING?
Whatever. Your funeral.
Madison is SCAREDER THAN SCARED!!
So far, she's just arrived in Texas, and her suitcase is somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin!!! With no dress, no laptop, and no wedding gift in sight (she's trying to write a poem with no luck), what will our heroine do????
You'll find out later.
Most of this novel is actually just filler. She doesn't leave for Texas until page...90 or so.
To be continued...
More notes:
Before you tell your kids some big news, it's always good to SUCK UP to them and be REALLY obvious that something's on your mind.
They're getting married in two weeks???
To cope, Madison orders three pieces of chocolate cake.
That's my girl.
Madison's like, "Why are you marrying Stephanie, you just ditched my mom?"
A year IS pretty soon, I guess. Because, in Madison Finnland, time stopped right before 7th grade started, so it's always a year since the Big-D.
Which is weird, because if that's true, he met Stephanie like RIGHT AFTER the divorce, if they've been dating a while.
Sorry. Concrete random.
Stephanie almost got married once...but called it off. UH OH.
Yeah, Frannie (Madison's mom) knew, and she decided not to say anything?
And she's totally fine with the whole thing?
Hello, you were once MARRIED to this man! You once had SEX with this man! You have a DAUGHTER with this man?
Doesn't it bother you?
She is a little bothered by the two week notice.
Madison, like Anna Harley, RESISTS CHANGE.
The wedding invitation says, "Regrets Only."
Uh oh.
Madison has some regrets she'd like to share with the class.
Madison: At the end of the invite there's this line "regrets only" and I wanted to call him up and shout I HAVE REGRETS, DAD! DON'T DO IT!!!
Didn't Bigwheels get another kitten in the last book? Madison's just NOW addressing this?
Whaaat? Bigwheels spent all of #11 claiming she was in love with Reggie.
LIES!
What's wrong with dressing casual?
In Laurenland, it's casual Friday EVERY day!
How are Egg and Fiona still only "sort of" going out? Didn't he ask her out on a REAL DATE, where they HELD HANDS at the MOVIES? That's pretty serious.
Hehehe. He calls her "Fee" and she calls him "Walter".
Drew: *little rich boy* Cool, huh? *points to a row of golden torches* Mom got them shipped here from Samoa or something.
Aimee: Come on! You can get those at the home decorating store in downtown Far Hills for five bucks!
Drew: Really? Well, they're cool, anyhow.
Drew has a GIRLFRIEND.
I KNOW!!!
This is Stalker Drew who followed Maddie everywhere and asked her to the Heart to Heart Dance!!
I know he had to get over it sometime, but still, this is quite a blow.
I've been in a similar situation.
Maddie's all, "Wtf, I thought you liked me!"
Heheh, junior high girls.
"Look, over there! I think that's Ben! Over by the torch! *runs away*"
Hehe. I had a friend be like, "Omg, So-and-so complimented me! But I only like him a little bit."
....
Fiona, you hypocrite.
"I can't believe she acts that way around him."
Um...ahem? You and EGG?
Awkward. Madison has to go to dinner with Dad and Stephanie.
And it seems they REALLY want to be alone.
Everyone's crying and getting sappy.
Ooookaaay.
HA!
Stephanie: Maddie, in addition to the poem, I wanted to ask you if you would...oh...How do I say this? Jeff, help me out here.
Dad: What Stephanie is trying to say, Maddie, is will you stand up for her at the wedding?
Madison: I know, I just said I would stand up for her. I'll read the poem. I assumed that I would be standing up to do it...
HAHAHAHA! Oh, Madison, you crack me up.
Actually, I didn't know what "stand up for me" meant, either.
Basically, she wants her to be the junior maid of honor.
There are hundreds of Wolfes (Stephanie's family) coming...and 2 Finns (Jeff's family).
Stephanie's color scheme is "pale colors".
Sweet, I could just go naked.
Aw wait, I tanned a little.
Dad: Hey, Maddie, when you get the dress, just don't pick out some super short outfit with lots of Big Bird feathers.
Maddie: Okay, Dad. I guess I'll return the yellow boa and my leather miniskirt.
Mom: You can pick out whatever color dress you like, as long as it's a pale color. That was all she asked.
[Hey, at least she's letting you pick out your own dress, rather than picking a really ugly one for you.]
Madison: Pale? But I look ucky in pale colors. I'm pale!
Same here, Maddie.
Her friends still haven't guessed about Hart!!!
Madison's First Draft of the Wedding Poem
Your wedding is a special (ACK!!) day
And you will be feeling good in every way
The sun is shining bright on your FACES
And there is no one who can take your places
(No one?)
Thank u for making me a part of the day (change this word)
OH I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!!!!!
It could use some work.
Madison finds the perfect dress...and it's ORANGE, her favorite color.
And she runs into Elaine, Drew's new girlfriend, at the mall.
UH OH.
Elaine's really nice and oblivious to bragging.
She's on her way to meet Drew in the library in 15 minutes.
Madison wonders if they'll be doing something other than checking out books...
Such as checking out each other...
Who knows, maybe they'll even do a little studying...
And Drew will teach her a little French...
Hahaha, libraries are so useful for analogies.
Bigwheels is always:
A. sick
B. grounded
C. unable to go online because her computer crashed
Then she goes on to describe
A. her little brother and sister
B. her fight with her best friend
C. Reggie
D. her new pet
E. her new computer (whenever her computer crashes, SHE GETS A NEW ONE!!!)
Ooh, Bigwheels met a cute guy named Tommy. He has a billion freckles. Sounds...hot.
Dun dun dun!! The first mention of bras in a Madison Finn book!
Uh oh. Stephanie casually mentions that there will be few fancy parties, so Madison needs some more dressy outfits.
So Madison starts cleaning out her closet...Eminem-style.
Fiona loans her a dress.
Isn't Fiona like a foot taller, though?
Oh well. If it's a sundress, she could wear it as a sheath dress or something.
Ew, Fiona and Madison get in a WAY sappy discussion about love, and whether or not they'll ever fall in love and get MARRIED. Fiona wonders if Egg will ever pop the question.
Ha, yeah. If Egg ever decides to COMMIT.
Awkward conversation with Hart.
Bad. Or good?
But you're making him nervous.
Good? Or bad?
"Totally free! Thanks, Mr. G."
Chet made a poem!!
Uh oh. Aimee and Fiona saw Madison talking to Hart, and she was SO flirting with him just now.
We've passed page 90, and Madison STILL hasn't left for Texas.
"'Have a good trip, Finnster,' Hart said with a wave of his hand.
'I will,' Madison said, unable to take his eyes off Hart's tousled hair. For a split second, she had an overwhelming urge to throw her arms around him and give him a hug."
RESIST THE URGE, MADDIE! RESIST THE URGE!
Page 100: She just got on the plane.
Fiona and Aimee write her a really long letter, in which they accuse her of liking Drew.
Stephanie's Texas accent comes creeping back into her voice.
Like my dad, whenever he goes back home, he gets a really thick Southern accent.
Actually, that happens every time he talks on the phone with his parents.
Madison lost her suitcase.
Oh.
No.
Now she can't change clothes.
OR check her e-mail.
Madison gets her own hotel room!!! And it's really nice!!!
Stephanie and Dad get a room to themselves.
Uh oh.
Implying they're sexually active.
That's not something I'd want to know about my dad and his partner.
If my dad were to start dating another woman if my mom died in a tragic boating accident or something.
TV! Sofa! Minifridge!!! Pretty sweet hotel room, right?
Like the suite my grandparents got us for their anniversary??
Ooooh yeaaaah.
Lame. Egg asked Fiona to the movies...
...and then ditched her.
Well, he called her and told her he couldn't make it, which is different than being stood up, but still.
That's mean.
So we'll pick up where we left off next time.
Just remember that Stephanie and Dad are getting married in Texas.
Egg is a jerk.
And Madison has no clothes on!!!
To be continued....
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Months of toil now at an end, or Pony Pals Super Special #6: The Last Pony Ride
This is it, guys. The very last Pony Pals book.
Plot: Major changes are going on in Wiggins. Lulu's father wants to her to move to Africa with him! Pam and Anna are getting too big for their ponies!!! What is going on???
First, let's deal with Pam: Pam finds it's getting a tad uncomfortable to ride Lightning. At the same time, Eleanor Whats-her-face has given Pam her horse Starfire after a tragic riding accident, forcing him (not her; she got a new horse) to retire early. Pam is torn between the pony she loves and the horse she longs to care for.
Her mom is totally NOT helping, by hinting that Lightning is a boring old nag that should be sold for glue.
In the end, Pam chooses to keep Starfire and let her mom use Lightning as a school pony, but still take care of her old pony every day.
Good choice.
Now Lulu: Her dad suddenly wants her to move to Africa with him, because he doesn't want to miss her childhood.
Hello???
Then why did you dump her in Wiggins with her grandmother in the FIRST PLACE???
Lulu begs her father to let her stay in Wiggins, with her FRIENDS, and GRANDMA, and PONY, but her dad insists she move to a country (Botwswana) with civil wars so she can make new friends. Because introverts are soooooo good at that.
Lulu has been defeated by her SUCKY FATHER!!! She decides to give Snow White to Anna, because Snow White is the perfect size for her 4'10" friend.
Anna: Basically what was just said about Lulu. She doesn't want her friends to move and change and go through puberty and that, and she doesn't want to give up Acorn. So she asks her parents if she can have TWO ponies (Snow White and Acorn), and Mike Lacey agrees to help her with barn chores so she doesn't get behind in school.
So Anna has two ponies, Lulu has no pony, and Pam has a horse AND a pony.
Not fair.
So Lulu moves to Africa, taking with her a scrapbook of all the Pony Pal's adventures. AWwww.
More notes:
Can I just say I REALLY liked this book? It was sweet.
Except for all the really bad parents.
Isn't Botswana one of the wartorn countries??
Ooh, Lulu got to ride an elephant!! How exotic!
Whatever. I could still ride ponies like Acorn in like 6th grade at 5'4". Anna is 6 inches shorter than that. She needs to suck it up. Just lengthen your stirrups, honey.
Eleanor is such a fake. "Oooh, I miss Starfire! He'll never be able to compete again!"
So she dumps him on a ten-year-old and buys a NEW horse to compete with.
Pam is 5'4", too, and she's too big for Lightning???? Lightning is 14 hands. She should be the perfect height!!
Pam's mom is so annoying. I really, REALLY despise her.
Ugh.
Eleanor: I thought Starfire and I wouldbe a team forever. Now I'm training another horse. I'll walk him around a little. Then I have to go back and ride my new horse. You'll always be my star! *sob*
-_-
Mr. Crandal shaved!!!!!!! He looks Samoan.
Starfire is so named because he has a white STAR marking on his forehead, but that marking is not evident in the illustration.
Ooh, Dr. Crandal's in on it, too.
If your daughter was happy with a pony, why wouldn't you let her be??
And if Pam isn't too big to ride DAISY and SPLASH and train numerous other ponies, she really shouldn't be too big for Lightning!
Mike: Is this something for Lulu?
Anna: Yeah. It's going to say 'Welcome home.' Pam was supposed to write it, but she's not here yet. And Lulu will be here any minute.
Mike: I'll write it for you. I print good.
Yeah, but you don't speak so well.
The writing in this book is definitely more improved than previous books, but Ms. Betancourt still has a tendency to repeat phrases.
Okay, Mr. Sanders wants Lulu to have some permanence in her life, so he's ripping her out of her comfortable life in Wiggins to live with him in Botswana...FOR TWO YEARS. THEN where are they going to move, I wonder?
Oh, it's going to be so great, Lulu! People speak English there, and you can go to school, and your dad bought an apartment for the two of you!
Oh, and you can't bring Snow White.
Pam: Did you tell your dad you didn't want to move to Africa?
Lulu: It seemed like an okay idea when I was there.
Anna: What does your grandmother always want us to do?
Lulu: Be girlie girls.
I'm glad she has such high expectations.
They let Grandma Sandy give them makeovers, then beg her to tell her irresponsible son to let his daughter stay where she pleases.
Grandma: Makeovers! What a lovely idea. I have a great idea for Anna's hair. A shade of pink nail polish would be perfect for girls your age. And there's a new aqua one with sparkles.
Lulu: I bet Pam would like that one.
Hehehe.
SHE STRAIGHTENS ANNA'S HAIR!!
I think Pam is over Lightning. She forgets what gender her pony is.
This sounds like something from a horror movie.
"Lulu's grandmother turned her attention to Lulu. 'Now I am going to give you curls,' she announced cheerfully."
Whoa, pink and silver beads totally don't go with sparkly aqua nail polish.
Moral of this story: Tomboys are better.
Charlie's back in town!! What, he's 12??? I thought he was 14. He's best friends with Mike and Tommy, isn't he??? WHY WOULD THEY HANG OUT WITH A 12-YEAR-OLD??
Uh oh. They go out to dinner at the diner, looking like girls...and see Tommy, Charlie, and Mike.
Recipe for disaster.
Tommy: Look at the Pony Pests. They're trying to be girls.
Jerk. He's probably a homophobe.
Which is weird, cuz he's gay with Mike.
Is it possible to be a gay homophobe?
I guess that's called hypocrisy.
Meow, Lulu looks like Evangeline Lilly.
Grandma: Riding helmets will crush your new hairdos.
Forsake your riding safety, Lulu! I don't care if you die in a riding accident as long as your corpse looks good!
Then she says: Don't worry about it, dear. It's you I love. Not what your hair looks like.
Which is, like, the opposite of what you've been telling her all these years.
Surprise! Starfire is Pam's now.
And her mom still sucks.
Mrs. Crandal totally drops that bomb on her, and then when Pam reacts, is all, "Sorry, I'm busy, we'll discuss this later."
Haaaate.
Anna's in denial. She doesn't realize she's too huge for Acorn (though in the picture all the girls are the same size and look aptly suited to their ponies).
WHOA!!!
Never tell Anna anything, or she might react like this:
"You're going to have a horse! You're giving up Lightning! If you have Starfire, you won't ride her at all. You're disloyal and you're bad Pony Pals. Both of you!!"
*runs away crying*
The Pony Pals decide to let her cool off on her own for a while.
THEY'RE LEARNING! HALLELUJAH!
Oh. Anna admits she's a little psycho. And sad. And resistant to change.
Awwww.
I HATE LULU'S DAD!!!
He's SO SELFISH! If he wants to be with Lulu so badly, why isn't he putting her best interests into the picture??
It's been about his career all this time, and it's STILL about his career.
He claims he doesn't want to miss anymore of her childhood, that she should remain in one place, and that they belong together.
If that's so, MOVE TO WIGGINS TO BE WITH YOUR KID, YOU SELFISH LOSER!!!
He's SUCH a jerk.
And it sucks cuz Lulu probably knows this, but she does love and her dad and wants to live with him.
This is the part of the book that made me really sad. And incensed. But pretty sad, too.
THE MOMENT OF TRUTH:
Tommy: Good riddance. We have too many Pony Pests around here. We need pest control.
Mike: Stop it! Stop being mean. It's not funny.
Tommy: Good riddance to you, too. You're a bigger pest than they are.
Wow. I guess it's really over. Now Mike and Anna can hook up!!
Unless...uh oh....
Mike: He makes me so mad sometimes. He's a lousy friend.
Charlie: *pats him on the back* You can find better guys than him to hang out with. [Read: ME!]
Mike: *smile* I guess.
Awww, so much for Mike + Anna.
That would be the awesomest fanfic ever. An Anna, Mike, and Charlie love triangle.
Lulu thinks up some pretty smart ideas.
Idea #1: She wants to give Snow White to Anna, because Snow White knows Anna and giving her away is easier than selling her.
Idea #2: They can enter the 21st century (yay!) and use e-mail to communicate.
They agree to e-mail every week.
Every WEEK?? Come on. Use IM and talk every DAY.
What's with the idea that hobbies detract from schoolwork? I disagree. There can be a balance, and Anna does have a legitimate learning disability.
Mrs. Harley isn't the nicest mom either.
Anna: Acorn and Snow White shouldn't be seperated. They're best friends. They're stablemates.
Mrs. Harley: Of course they can be separated. Ponies are bought and sold all the time. You can only have one pony. That's more than most kids have. I'm sorry, Anna. You'll have to decide what pony you want.
Harsh!! I can understand the financial burden another pony would bring, but seriously??? Your kid's grades should have NOTHING to do with the decision, lady. And she has to choose? Way mean.
No way!!!
Rosalie wishes she could ride ponies more often.
Anna can't take care of two ponies.
Mike offers to take care of both ponies, in exchange for more riding time for Rosalie.
That's so nice!!!!
Basically, they make Mike do ALL the barn chores.
Whoa, that wasn't in the agreement. Anna should still help out.
Haha, we find out the Pony Pals' middle names.
Mike's middle name is John. Lame.
Charlie's is K. Huh. Like Harry S. Truman.
Pam's is Eleanor (after the famous chick who tossed her injured horse over Pam's way).
Anna's is Marie.
Lulu doesn't have a middle name. That's why she's no longer in the club and has to move to Africa.
"I heard you're moving to AFrica. It's a wonderful oppurtunity for you."
That's Mr. Harley talking. I suppose that's true, but all the same, how inconsiderate.
This girl has to leave most of her family and friends (AND PONY) to a completely different culture where there are wars and dangerous animals and excessive heat.
Not that I have anything against Africa (quite the opposite), but if I was forced to move there, I'd be cutting myself now.
How convenient. Rosalie is the perfect size for Acorn. So, in essence, Acorn is Rosalie's pony now.
Yay, the Harley's agreed!
They say goodbye to almost everyone in Wiggins, and reference quite a few of the past books. This includes:
Ms. McGee (Historical Society Chick); Mike's grandma (after they found her secret letter in the secret spot in #31); Ms. Raskins (the slacker girl in charge of St. Francis Animal Shelter); Eve Greeley and Lucky (the pony they raised from birth); Mr. and Mrs. Quinn (the old people with the old pony); Mimi Klein and Tongo (the bratty girl with her bratty pony); Mr. Olson (creepy old man/Charlie's uncle); and Mr. Remington (the cool, Harry Potter-obsessed librarian).
They throw a going-away party for Lulu, where they serve all her favorite foods: spaghetti and brownies!!!
Aw. Grandma Sandy buys them matching pony necklaces to help them remember the now defunct Pony Pals.
They have a profile in the back of the book on each character and pony.
Lulu is 5 feet, and likes detective work and spaghetti, but not fussing with her hair.
Anna is 4'10" (!!), and likes brownies and drawing, but not school.
Pam is 5'4" (at 10 years old!!!), and likes jumping and being in charge (that's for sure), but not bossy people (ironically enough).
The Happiest Pony Pal Moment:
When Lulu got Snow White and we knew we would be the Pony Pals.
I can think of happier Pony Pal Moments.
Not off the top of my head, but if I tried really hard....
The Saddest Pony Pal Moment:
When we found out that Lulu was moving.
What about when Winston died?
Well, yeah, I guess friend moving FOREVER trumps pony dying FOREVER.
Not even being sarcastic.
Awww. I miss them already.
Seriously, when did I start this blog?? Remember when it was originally JUST Pony Pals?
Well, now there are no more Pony Pals...
...AND I REALLY MISS THEM.
But I do have plenty of Madison Finns to keep you entertained. That should be fun.
Next stop: Madison Finn Super Special #1. Someone's getting married!!!
Plot: Major changes are going on in Wiggins. Lulu's father wants to her to move to Africa with him! Pam and Anna are getting too big for their ponies!!! What is going on???
First, let's deal with Pam: Pam finds it's getting a tad uncomfortable to ride Lightning. At the same time, Eleanor Whats-her-face has given Pam her horse Starfire after a tragic riding accident, forcing him (not her; she got a new horse) to retire early. Pam is torn between the pony she loves and the horse she longs to care for.
Her mom is totally NOT helping, by hinting that Lightning is a boring old nag that should be sold for glue.
In the end, Pam chooses to keep Starfire and let her mom use Lightning as a school pony, but still take care of her old pony every day.
Good choice.
Now Lulu: Her dad suddenly wants her to move to Africa with him, because he doesn't want to miss her childhood.
Hello???
Then why did you dump her in Wiggins with her grandmother in the FIRST PLACE???
Lulu begs her father to let her stay in Wiggins, with her FRIENDS, and GRANDMA, and PONY, but her dad insists she move to a country (Botwswana) with civil wars so she can make new friends. Because introverts are soooooo good at that.
Lulu has been defeated by her SUCKY FATHER!!! She decides to give Snow White to Anna, because Snow White is the perfect size for her 4'10" friend.
Anna: Basically what was just said about Lulu. She doesn't want her friends to move and change and go through puberty and that, and she doesn't want to give up Acorn. So she asks her parents if she can have TWO ponies (Snow White and Acorn), and Mike Lacey agrees to help her with barn chores so she doesn't get behind in school.
So Anna has two ponies, Lulu has no pony, and Pam has a horse AND a pony.
Not fair.
So Lulu moves to Africa, taking with her a scrapbook of all the Pony Pal's adventures. AWwww.
More notes:
Can I just say I REALLY liked this book? It was sweet.
Except for all the really bad parents.
Isn't Botswana one of the wartorn countries??
Ooh, Lulu got to ride an elephant!! How exotic!
Whatever. I could still ride ponies like Acorn in like 6th grade at 5'4". Anna is 6 inches shorter than that. She needs to suck it up. Just lengthen your stirrups, honey.
Eleanor is such a fake. "Oooh, I miss Starfire! He'll never be able to compete again!"
So she dumps him on a ten-year-old and buys a NEW horse to compete with.
Pam is 5'4", too, and she's too big for Lightning???? Lightning is 14 hands. She should be the perfect height!!
Pam's mom is so annoying. I really, REALLY despise her.
Ugh.
Eleanor: I thought Starfire and I wouldbe a team forever. Now I'm training another horse. I'll walk him around a little. Then I have to go back and ride my new horse. You'll always be my star! *sob*
-_-
Mr. Crandal shaved!!!!!!! He looks Samoan.
Starfire is so named because he has a white STAR marking on his forehead, but that marking is not evident in the illustration.
Ooh, Dr. Crandal's in on it, too.
If your daughter was happy with a pony, why wouldn't you let her be??
And if Pam isn't too big to ride DAISY and SPLASH and train numerous other ponies, she really shouldn't be too big for Lightning!
Mike: Is this something for Lulu?
Anna: Yeah. It's going to say 'Welcome home.' Pam was supposed to write it, but she's not here yet. And Lulu will be here any minute.
Mike: I'll write it for you. I print good.
Yeah, but you don't speak so well.
The writing in this book is definitely more improved than previous books, but Ms. Betancourt still has a tendency to repeat phrases.
Okay, Mr. Sanders wants Lulu to have some permanence in her life, so he's ripping her out of her comfortable life in Wiggins to live with him in Botswana...FOR TWO YEARS. THEN where are they going to move, I wonder?
Oh, it's going to be so great, Lulu! People speak English there, and you can go to school, and your dad bought an apartment for the two of you!
Oh, and you can't bring Snow White.
Pam: Did you tell your dad you didn't want to move to Africa?
Lulu: It seemed like an okay idea when I was there.
Anna: What does your grandmother always want us to do?
Lulu: Be girlie girls.
I'm glad she has such high expectations.
They let Grandma Sandy give them makeovers, then beg her to tell her irresponsible son to let his daughter stay where she pleases.
Grandma: Makeovers! What a lovely idea. I have a great idea for Anna's hair. A shade of pink nail polish would be perfect for girls your age. And there's a new aqua one with sparkles.
Lulu: I bet Pam would like that one.
Hehehe.
SHE STRAIGHTENS ANNA'S HAIR!!
I think Pam is over Lightning. She forgets what gender her pony is.
This sounds like something from a horror movie.
"Lulu's grandmother turned her attention to Lulu. 'Now I am going to give you curls,' she announced cheerfully."
Whoa, pink and silver beads totally don't go with sparkly aqua nail polish.
Moral of this story: Tomboys are better.
Charlie's back in town!! What, he's 12??? I thought he was 14. He's best friends with Mike and Tommy, isn't he??? WHY WOULD THEY HANG OUT WITH A 12-YEAR-OLD??
Uh oh. They go out to dinner at the diner, looking like girls...and see Tommy, Charlie, and Mike.
Recipe for disaster.
Tommy: Look at the Pony Pests. They're trying to be girls.
Jerk. He's probably a homophobe.
Which is weird, cuz he's gay with Mike.
Is it possible to be a gay homophobe?
I guess that's called hypocrisy.
Meow, Lulu looks like Evangeline Lilly.
Grandma: Riding helmets will crush your new hairdos.
Forsake your riding safety, Lulu! I don't care if you die in a riding accident as long as your corpse looks good!
Then she says: Don't worry about it, dear. It's you I love. Not what your hair looks like.
Which is, like, the opposite of what you've been telling her all these years.
Surprise! Starfire is Pam's now.
And her mom still sucks.
Mrs. Crandal totally drops that bomb on her, and then when Pam reacts, is all, "Sorry, I'm busy, we'll discuss this later."
Haaaate.
Anna's in denial. She doesn't realize she's too huge for Acorn (though in the picture all the girls are the same size and look aptly suited to their ponies).
WHOA!!!
Never tell Anna anything, or she might react like this:
"You're going to have a horse! You're giving up Lightning! If you have Starfire, you won't ride her at all. You're disloyal and you're bad Pony Pals. Both of you!!"
*runs away crying*
The Pony Pals decide to let her cool off on her own for a while.
THEY'RE LEARNING! HALLELUJAH!
Oh. Anna admits she's a little psycho. And sad. And resistant to change.
Awwww.
I HATE LULU'S DAD!!!
He's SO SELFISH! If he wants to be with Lulu so badly, why isn't he putting her best interests into the picture??
It's been about his career all this time, and it's STILL about his career.
He claims he doesn't want to miss anymore of her childhood, that she should remain in one place, and that they belong together.
If that's so, MOVE TO WIGGINS TO BE WITH YOUR KID, YOU SELFISH LOSER!!!
He's SUCH a jerk.
And it sucks cuz Lulu probably knows this, but she does love and her dad and wants to live with him.
This is the part of the book that made me really sad. And incensed. But pretty sad, too.
THE MOMENT OF TRUTH:
Tommy: Good riddance. We have too many Pony Pests around here. We need pest control.
Mike: Stop it! Stop being mean. It's not funny.
Tommy: Good riddance to you, too. You're a bigger pest than they are.
Wow. I guess it's really over. Now Mike and Anna can hook up!!
Unless...uh oh....
Mike: He makes me so mad sometimes. He's a lousy friend.
Charlie: *pats him on the back* You can find better guys than him to hang out with. [Read: ME!]
Mike: *smile* I guess.
Awww, so much for Mike + Anna.
That would be the awesomest fanfic ever. An Anna, Mike, and Charlie love triangle.
Lulu thinks up some pretty smart ideas.
Idea #1: She wants to give Snow White to Anna, because Snow White knows Anna and giving her away is easier than selling her.
Idea #2: They can enter the 21st century (yay!) and use e-mail to communicate.
They agree to e-mail every week.
Every WEEK?? Come on. Use IM and talk every DAY.
What's with the idea that hobbies detract from schoolwork? I disagree. There can be a balance, and Anna does have a legitimate learning disability.
Mrs. Harley isn't the nicest mom either.
Anna: Acorn and Snow White shouldn't be seperated. They're best friends. They're stablemates.
Mrs. Harley: Of course they can be separated. Ponies are bought and sold all the time. You can only have one pony. That's more than most kids have. I'm sorry, Anna. You'll have to decide what pony you want.
Harsh!! I can understand the financial burden another pony would bring, but seriously??? Your kid's grades should have NOTHING to do with the decision, lady. And she has to choose? Way mean.
No way!!!
Rosalie wishes she could ride ponies more often.
Anna can't take care of two ponies.
Mike offers to take care of both ponies, in exchange for more riding time for Rosalie.
That's so nice!!!!
Basically, they make Mike do ALL the barn chores.
Whoa, that wasn't in the agreement. Anna should still help out.
Haha, we find out the Pony Pals' middle names.
Mike's middle name is John. Lame.
Charlie's is K. Huh. Like Harry S. Truman.
Pam's is Eleanor (after the famous chick who tossed her injured horse over Pam's way).
Anna's is Marie.
Lulu doesn't have a middle name. That's why she's no longer in the club and has to move to Africa.
"I heard you're moving to AFrica. It's a wonderful oppurtunity for you."
That's Mr. Harley talking. I suppose that's true, but all the same, how inconsiderate.
This girl has to leave most of her family and friends (AND PONY) to a completely different culture where there are wars and dangerous animals and excessive heat.
Not that I have anything against Africa (quite the opposite), but if I was forced to move there, I'd be cutting myself now.
How convenient. Rosalie is the perfect size for Acorn. So, in essence, Acorn is Rosalie's pony now.
Yay, the Harley's agreed!
They say goodbye to almost everyone in Wiggins, and reference quite a few of the past books. This includes:
Ms. McGee (Historical Society Chick); Mike's grandma (after they found her secret letter in the secret spot in #31); Ms. Raskins (the slacker girl in charge of St. Francis Animal Shelter); Eve Greeley and Lucky (the pony they raised from birth); Mr. and Mrs. Quinn (the old people with the old pony); Mimi Klein and Tongo (the bratty girl with her bratty pony); Mr. Olson (creepy old man/Charlie's uncle); and Mr. Remington (the cool, Harry Potter-obsessed librarian).
They throw a going-away party for Lulu, where they serve all her favorite foods: spaghetti and brownies!!!
Aw. Grandma Sandy buys them matching pony necklaces to help them remember the now defunct Pony Pals.
They have a profile in the back of the book on each character and pony.
Lulu is 5 feet, and likes detective work and spaghetti, but not fussing with her hair.
Anna is 4'10" (!!), and likes brownies and drawing, but not school.
Pam is 5'4" (at 10 years old!!!), and likes jumping and being in charge (that's for sure), but not bossy people (ironically enough).
The Happiest Pony Pal Moment:
When Lulu got Snow White and we knew we would be the Pony Pals.
I can think of happier Pony Pal Moments.
Not off the top of my head, but if I tried really hard....
The Saddest Pony Pal Moment:
When we found out that Lulu was moving.
What about when Winston died?
Well, yeah, I guess friend moving FOREVER trumps pony dying FOREVER.
Not even being sarcastic.
Awww. I miss them already.
Seriously, when did I start this blog?? Remember when it was originally JUST Pony Pals?
Well, now there are no more Pony Pals...
...AND I REALLY MISS THEM.
But I do have plenty of Madison Finns to keep you entertained. That should be fun.
Next stop: Madison Finn Super Special #1. Someone's getting married!!!
Sunday, May 11, 2008
This event will be followed by the Teddy Bear Picnic, or Pony Pals #38: Ponies on Parade
After this, only one more Pony Pal to go!!! Aaaagh!!
I like how it took Jeanne Betancourt 38 books to improve her writing. This book isn't spectacular and shouldn't win any awards, but it's probably one of the best Pony Pals books. Except for the fact that Acorn looks like a Wookiee on the cover.
Plot: The Pony Pals are SUPER excited for the Fall Festival, where there will be fun games, fatty foods, and crisp autumn leaves to enjoy!!!
This year, the town is doing something special; they're picking 10 people to each paint a lifesize statue of a pony.
Okay, what is this town's obsession with ponies?
Anna really wants to enter, but she doesn't have any ideas...and her homework is keeping her busy.
The Pony Pals help her brainstorm and finish her essay.
Anna paints her lifesize pony statue to look just like Acorn, and writes a bunch of Shetland facts on the sides.
But Tommy Rand, after having several angry altercations with the Pony Pals, decides to get revenge and paints graffiti all over Anna's pony!!!
Plus, he tries to pin it on Mike by writing "ML was here".
Nice try, Tommy.
Anna manages to fix the pony, and Mike apologize's for his boyfriend's behavior. Tommy, however, isn't the least bit sorry.
The Pony Pals decide to teach him a lesson. The pony statues are to be auctioned off at the Fall Festival, so the Pony Pals convince Mrs. Rand (Tommy's mother) that Tommy misses Acorn and he needs the statue to remind him of his old pony.
So Mrs. Rand buys the statue at the auction!!!!
Then she gets up on stage and tells everyone how much her son loves ponies!!!
Try the best Pony Pals ending ever!!!
More notes:
Anyone can write a research paper in two days. I've done it. My friends do it all the time. College students often have less time than that. Anna needs to suck it up.
The best way to get a paper done is to procrastinate.
Pam and Lulu are such losers.
Lulu: I finished my paper about Mount Morris. It's five pages long. Now all I have to do is make sure there aren't any mistakes.
[Writing about Mount Morris was a pretty big mistake.]
Pam: I almost finished mine, too. I learned so much about ballpoint pens. They used to leak like crazy.
[Golly, Lulu! Ballpoint pens are so fascinating!! They used to leak!! If you got to write a research paper on ANYTHING in the world, wouldn't you write about something controversial or interesting??]
I want to know where they get these lifesize ponies.
Out of all the crappy illustrators for the Pony Pals books, Richard Jones is my favorite. These illustrations are pretty stellar.
Tommy and Mike start pelting them with acorns. Ouch.
Ms. Wiggins wants to paint an angel pony, in honor of Winston. XP
WHOAAA!!! Ms. Wiggins has always been tall and thin with dark hair. Now she's tall and thin with BLONDE hair!!!
Some of Anna's ideas include a devil pony and a striped pony. Heheh. I like the devil pony, but it's too Satanic for Anna.
Anna's mom makes her stay home to write her paper...so Anna goes off to ride with the Pony Pals. I foresee a "Lion King" discipline scene. "You deliberately disobeyed me!"
Now we know the reason the boys hate the Pony Pals so much.
Mike: Hey, man. Why'd we have to keep following them?
Tommy: Because we want to mess up their stupid little Pony Pest day. We'll go in the cave and make ghost noises. That'll freak them out. Then it can be our hideout. Get it?
Got it. You're stupid.
5 seconds later, Tommy steps in horse crap.
Mike and Tommy are lost in the woods, so the Pony Pals draw them a map.
Unfortunately, Tommy's bike has a flat tire.
So he takes MIKE'S bike and leaves Mike with HIS bike!
Jerk.
This book was written in 2003, so the Pony Pals are all high-tech, using e-mail.
Lame lame lame. Anna can't decide on a research topic, so she picks Shetland ponies.
She prints out 36 pages on Shetland ponies!!! I'll bet she ran out of ink.
Ha. The Pony Pals are so mean to Tommy.
I hate that misbehaving ponies are never punished. I'm not saying they need to be whipped to death, but hello? Acorn opens the gate with his mouth and steals all their cookies! That's not cute, he could escape and die!!!
Yeah! Mike likes the devil pony, too!!
NOYCE! Mr. Remington the librarian is painting a pony that looks just like Harry Potter!!
Wait, so he has Daniel Radcliffe hair and everything?
Noyce.
Anna got a B-plus and the teacher wrote "Good job" on the paper. No. If you're going to write "Good job", give her at least an A!!!
Maybe it was for grammar mistakes.
Mike is making spaghetti for dinner.
What is wrong with these carb-obsessed freaks!!??
Anna has only 2 days to paint the pony, so her friends decide to take shorter trail rides.
You could always NOT trail ride, giving your more time to paint.
Mike told Tommy about the Pony contest, when he told Anna he WOULDN'T tell!!!
Betrayed!!!
I can't believe he ruined her pony. What a jerk.
Anna honestly thinks Mike did it.
Mike would never do a thing like that, Anna. He loves you.
Tommy practically confesses.
Awwww. Mike offers to help repaint the pony.
Some of the other pony ideas weren't so stellar:
Tuxedo Pony, Patriotic Pony, Glitter Pony, Little Red Riding Pony, Unicorn Pony, Baseball Pony, and Sky Pony are some of them.
AAAAH, THE PONY PALS ARE SO EVIL...BUT FUNNY!
Mrs. Rand: Anna Harley, this is perfect copy of Acorn. Absolutely perfect. Acorn was such a good pony. I miss him.
Lulu: I think Tommy misses Acorn, too.
Pam: He talks about Acorn sometimes.
Mrs. Rand: I'm so glad you told me that. Tommy's growing up so fast. Sometimes I don't recognize my sweet little boy.
Anna: Maybe you should buy My Pony at the auction. Then Tommy can always remember his time with Acorn.
Tee hee.
Mr. Olson almost buys the Acorn Pony!!! Go away, creepy pedophile!! Go back to your cowboy nephew!!
Mrs. Rand wins.
OH NO!
Mrs. Rand: Acorn was my son's pony. He's missed him. Now he'll always have Acorn.
Aaah, good times, good times.
Only one more Pony Pals book to go!!
And Lulu's moving to Africa!! Oh no!!!
I like how it took Jeanne Betancourt 38 books to improve her writing. This book isn't spectacular and shouldn't win any awards, but it's probably one of the best Pony Pals books. Except for the fact that Acorn looks like a Wookiee on the cover.
Plot: The Pony Pals are SUPER excited for the Fall Festival, where there will be fun games, fatty foods, and crisp autumn leaves to enjoy!!!
This year, the town is doing something special; they're picking 10 people to each paint a lifesize statue of a pony.
Okay, what is this town's obsession with ponies?
Anna really wants to enter, but she doesn't have any ideas...and her homework is keeping her busy.
The Pony Pals help her brainstorm and finish her essay.
Anna paints her lifesize pony statue to look just like Acorn, and writes a bunch of Shetland facts on the sides.
But Tommy Rand, after having several angry altercations with the Pony Pals, decides to get revenge and paints graffiti all over Anna's pony!!!
Plus, he tries to pin it on Mike by writing "ML was here".
Nice try, Tommy.
Anna manages to fix the pony, and Mike apologize's for his boyfriend's behavior. Tommy, however, isn't the least bit sorry.
The Pony Pals decide to teach him a lesson. The pony statues are to be auctioned off at the Fall Festival, so the Pony Pals convince Mrs. Rand (Tommy's mother) that Tommy misses Acorn and he needs the statue to remind him of his old pony.
So Mrs. Rand buys the statue at the auction!!!!
Then she gets up on stage and tells everyone how much her son loves ponies!!!
Try the best Pony Pals ending ever!!!
More notes:
Anyone can write a research paper in two days. I've done it. My friends do it all the time. College students often have less time than that. Anna needs to suck it up.
The best way to get a paper done is to procrastinate.
Pam and Lulu are such losers.
Lulu: I finished my paper about Mount Morris. It's five pages long. Now all I have to do is make sure there aren't any mistakes.
[Writing about Mount Morris was a pretty big mistake.]
Pam: I almost finished mine, too. I learned so much about ballpoint pens. They used to leak like crazy.
[Golly, Lulu! Ballpoint pens are so fascinating!! They used to leak!! If you got to write a research paper on ANYTHING in the world, wouldn't you write about something controversial or interesting??]
I want to know where they get these lifesize ponies.
Out of all the crappy illustrators for the Pony Pals books, Richard Jones is my favorite. These illustrations are pretty stellar.
Tommy and Mike start pelting them with acorns. Ouch.
Ms. Wiggins wants to paint an angel pony, in honor of Winston. XP
WHOAAA!!! Ms. Wiggins has always been tall and thin with dark hair. Now she's tall and thin with BLONDE hair!!!
Some of Anna's ideas include a devil pony and a striped pony. Heheh. I like the devil pony, but it's too Satanic for Anna.
Anna's mom makes her stay home to write her paper...so Anna goes off to ride with the Pony Pals. I foresee a "Lion King" discipline scene. "You deliberately disobeyed me!"
Now we know the reason the boys hate the Pony Pals so much.
Mike: Hey, man. Why'd we have to keep following them?
Tommy: Because we want to mess up their stupid little Pony Pest day. We'll go in the cave and make ghost noises. That'll freak them out. Then it can be our hideout. Get it?
Got it. You're stupid.
5 seconds later, Tommy steps in horse crap.
Mike and Tommy are lost in the woods, so the Pony Pals draw them a map.
Unfortunately, Tommy's bike has a flat tire.
So he takes MIKE'S bike and leaves Mike with HIS bike!
Jerk.
This book was written in 2003, so the Pony Pals are all high-tech, using e-mail.
Lame lame lame. Anna can't decide on a research topic, so she picks Shetland ponies.
She prints out 36 pages on Shetland ponies!!! I'll bet she ran out of ink.
Ha. The Pony Pals are so mean to Tommy.
I hate that misbehaving ponies are never punished. I'm not saying they need to be whipped to death, but hello? Acorn opens the gate with his mouth and steals all their cookies! That's not cute, he could escape and die!!!
Yeah! Mike likes the devil pony, too!!
NOYCE! Mr. Remington the librarian is painting a pony that looks just like Harry Potter!!
Wait, so he has Daniel Radcliffe hair and everything?
Noyce.
Anna got a B-plus and the teacher wrote "Good job" on the paper. No. If you're going to write "Good job", give her at least an A!!!
Maybe it was for grammar mistakes.
Mike is making spaghetti for dinner.
What is wrong with these carb-obsessed freaks!!??
Anna has only 2 days to paint the pony, so her friends decide to take shorter trail rides.
You could always NOT trail ride, giving your more time to paint.
Mike told Tommy about the Pony contest, when he told Anna he WOULDN'T tell!!!
Betrayed!!!
I can't believe he ruined her pony. What a jerk.
Anna honestly thinks Mike did it.
Mike would never do a thing like that, Anna. He loves you.
Tommy practically confesses.
Awwww. Mike offers to help repaint the pony.
Some of the other pony ideas weren't so stellar:
Tuxedo Pony, Patriotic Pony, Glitter Pony, Little Red Riding Pony, Unicorn Pony, Baseball Pony, and Sky Pony are some of them.
AAAAH, THE PONY PALS ARE SO EVIL...BUT FUNNY!
Mrs. Rand: Anna Harley, this is perfect copy of Acorn. Absolutely perfect. Acorn was such a good pony. I miss him.
Lulu: I think Tommy misses Acorn, too.
Pam: He talks about Acorn sometimes.
Mrs. Rand: I'm so glad you told me that. Tommy's growing up so fast. Sometimes I don't recognize my sweet little boy.
Anna: Maybe you should buy My Pony at the auction. Then Tommy can always remember his time with Acorn.
Tee hee.
Mr. Olson almost buys the Acorn Pony!!! Go away, creepy pedophile!! Go back to your cowboy nephew!!
Mrs. Rand wins.
OH NO!
Mrs. Rand: Acorn was my son's pony. He's missed him. Now he'll always have Acorn.
Aaah, good times, good times.
Only one more Pony Pals book to go!!
And Lulu's moving to Africa!! Oh no!!!
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Way to give away the end, or FTFO Madison Finn #15: Off the Wall
Don't you hate it when the library has every book in a series...
...except the one you need???
I'm trying to find a stupid picture of this book, and my library site, of course, doesn't have this one.
You know what sucks? I ordered a BUNCH of Madison Finns that I've never read, and I'm not going to be able to read them, because I'm trying to do this in series order!!! Aaargh!
Plot: Something is very, very wrong in Far Hills. Madison's favorite teacher, Mrs. Wing, has gone missing!!! She and her husband have just up and left, without leaving a note or anything!
Madison is worrieder than worried.
If that wasn't enough, Aimee's dog Blossom is about to have puppies...with another bassett hound! See, Madison and Aimee made a pact in fourth grade that had something to do with Phin and Blossom having puppies together. It appears Aimee has broken the pact!!
To get her mind off things, Madison checks out a web Egg reccomended to her called "The Wall". The Wall is full of juicy gossip, AKA heaven for 7th grade girls.
Oh no! Someone starts posting nasty things about Madison's friends...and it looks like Madison is to blame! Will Fiona, Aimee, and Lindsay ever talk to her again?
After a little bit of digging, Madison finds out the culprit is none other than Ivy herself (saw it coming).
To get back at the fiend, she writes a very nasty message about Ivy and posts it on The Wall.
Afterwards, she is racked with guilt and tells her parents everything.
They help her take down the message...and then ground her and take away her computer for a month.
OUCH.
Fiona, Aimee, and Lindsay apologize to Madison for not believing her, and everything is rosy once more.
Oh yeah, Madison forgets about the puppies, and Mrs. Wing, it turns out, left to adopt a baby!! Yay!! Sunshine and flowers!!
More notes:
Why are school computers always so slow?
Lance has a crush on Madison, but she is repulsed by his nose-picking and cheerful, "Howdy"s.
The new computer substitute is cool, lol.
"Holy cow! It took me a century to find you cats."
Mrs. Wing leaves Madison in charge...because she's the class expert.
How embarrassingly flattering.
Egg: Get out of here. I would whomp you.
"Whomp" you?? Wth?? Who says that?
Madison and Aimee "enjoy" watching Fiona and Chet's fights.
Enjoy??? What's to enjoy? Those are so awkward!
There is no way boys gossip more than girls.
But they do gossip quite a bit.
Egg sings The Wall's praises, because there aren't any moderators.
RED FLAG! RED FLAG!
There are a buttload of rules that nobody's going to follow WITHOUT MODERATORS.
Aimee IMs Maddie to tell her about the puppies.
But when they get to the part about there being a dad OTHER than Phin, Madison just signs off.
That's always nice.
Madison is such a drama queen! "My best friend has betrayed me."
They're just puppies! And it's not like you shook on the whole puppy plan.
Yeah, the whole "puppy plan" consisted of a bunch of jokes on how ugly Blossom and Phin's puppies would be.
SHE EVEN ADMITS IT! "It was like a dream of mine. I know we didn't make a formal pact or anything, but isn't a friend's word supposed to count for something?"
Dude, I looked these kinds of puppies up online, and they're adorable!!! Just go online and look up "Bassugg puppies".
Dan: Maddie! I'm so glad you're here. I could use your help big-time.
Madison: I'm glad you're here, too. It's been a bad day. I need cheering up.
Dan: Try cleaning up dog poop and cat poop. That'll cheer you up real fast.
Oh, Dan, you charmer you.
THe conversation takes an awkward turn when Madison mentions "those naked-looking cats".
Dan: *giggle* Naked?
Madison: *blush of death* So, um, about my problems....
Dan thinks Madison should chill out and not be so mad at Aimee.
He also thinks Dr. Wing and Mrs. Wing ran away together, but hey.
Madison's Dad wants to go out to dinner with Stephanie's nephew Kirk.
Madison thinks Kirk will probably be a dork.
And, of course, he's no Hart Jones.
Madison's Excuses for not dining with Kirk:
I have the walk the dog.
I have to wash my hair.
I have to save the world from an alien attack.
This probably spoils everything, but Kirk, in later books, turns out to be a way cute Kountry Gentleman.
Poor, poor Madison.
Yay, "Number the Stars"! That's one of my favorite books!!
Ivy is so evil!!
Ivy: I don't see what the big deal is. I mean, I didn't really fail the test. I only got a D, you know. Mr. Danehy is such a pain.
Joan: Science is so dumb anyway.
Ivy: And if that stupid twit Madison had just sat differently, I could have cheated off her paper, anyhow. She's such a goody-goody.
Joan: You'll pass science.
Ivy: Who really cares? I can always copy Madison's lab notes anyway. I do it all the time when she isn't looking.
Mrs. Wing adopted a baby...and Madison was the last one to know.
Been there, done that.
Meaning I've been the last to know. No, I haven't adopted a baby recently. The last baby I met yelled, "Poop," at me and threatened to beat me up if I spoke again.
Someone who goes to FHJH writes a post about Mrs. Wing on the wall. Maddie is like, "Nooo, everyone knew before me!!"
Someone replies to the post: So what, who cares?
Yeah, really, who cares? My teachers get pregnant all the time.
Aimee and Fiona are so stupid!!! They both post on a board called "Hotties" using their REAL SCREENNAMES!!! Now everyone will know it's them!
Posted by: BalletGrl
Date: 5 Nov
Message: actually I like this guy Ben but no one really knows so shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I should not have written that
Why would you write it if you didn't want anyone to know???
Posted by: Wetwinz
Date: 5 Nov
Message: of course someone who has been flirting w/me a lot wink wink can u guess who? *G*
Aimee sees the humor in the puppy situation.
Aimee: Maddie! I told you that about the puppies when we were in, like, fourth grade! And besides, my mom and dad are the ones who decide who Blossom will have puppies with, not me. And they want basset hounds, not some mix of pug and...Maddie, can you imagine what Blossom and Phin's babies would really look like?
Uh, yeah...they would be SOOO CUTE!
Fiona: By the way, I heard some big news.
Madison: Yeah, yeah, big news, I know. Mrs. Wing had a baby.
Fiona: Huh? What are you talking about? A baby? She did?
Madison: Wait. You didn't know?
Fiona: MRS. WING HAD A BABY? Oh, wow! This is, like, HUGE news. My news is so little and puny compared to yours. I just found out that the soccer team is moving their practice space. Wow! How did you find about Mrs. Wing?
So it turns out Madison isn't the last one to know, but come on, Fiona!! The soccer team is moving their practice space??? WHAT KIND OF NEWS IS THAT???
Oooh, lucky. Madison's school has free period instead of study hall.
Someone posts a REALLY mean message about Lindsay!!
Posted by: LoVeBuG
Date: Nov 6
Message: there is ms. fatty in my class and she is SOOOO fat that she cant even go 2 regular camp LOL she has to go to FAT CAMP and she walks around with a dumb black haircut & purple backpack that looks like she should be in the first grade LOSER!!! I feel bad 4 her yah right NOT FHJH would be better w/o her :)
That's pretty mean, but I thought Lindsay had light brown hair. She even has some on the cover.
Lindsay now wants all of her friends to stop going on the site.
It may be disloyal, but...
...I'd probably keep going on The Wall if I were Madison.
Which she does.
Lindsay: I bet it was the guys. I know they make fun of me because I'm overweight. I heard them once.
Madison: You did?
Lindsay: Yeah. I heard Hart and Chet talking once about who was the prettiest in our class.
Madison: Hart and Chet?
Fiona: What did they say, exactly? My brother is such a geek. Don't listen to him!
Lindsay: I don't remember everyone they were talking about, but I do know they said Ivy was the hottest girl and that some other girls were okay but some were too fat, like me and Beth Sanders.
[!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS SO MEAN!!! Proof that guys suck.]
Fiona: Well, Lindsay. Beth Sanders is fat. She's huge. She takes up two seats at lunch. You're not fat like that.
[I lied, girls suck, too. ESPECIALLY FIONA.]
Madison: That's not the point, guys.
Thank you, Madison.
Lol.
"Madison knew the truth. They would all huff and puff and complain about how terrible it was to post gossip. And then they'd each go home that very night and check the next postings on the gossip page - just in case something interesting came up."
Some people just suck at math. Video games have nothing to do with that.
Madison's Dad reads the Lindsay post outloud, and it sounds kind of funny when he says it.
"What does that text say? 'Fat camp'? 'Looks like she should be in the first grade LOSER'? What is this? This isn't an e-mail from one of your friends, is it?"
Dad thinks girls are meaner than boys.
So true.
Fiona has big news!!!
Fiona: Okay, so he finally, really asked me.
Madison: Asked you? What? Who?"
Fiona: Egg! He asked me out. For real.
Madison: He asked you out? He said those exact words.
Fiona: He wants to go to the movies next week. Can you believe it? I know we're sort of a 'couple', but this really makes a difference
AARGH, NO!! You're not officially a "couple" until he asks you out.
Otherwise, he's just playing you.
I can't believe it's been this long and he JUST NOW asked her out.
Egg's a playa....
Whoa, Madison stands up to Ivy in this one! And it's really funny!
Madison: You obviously don't know the meaning of the word homework, Ivy. It means you actually have to do work, at home.
Ivy: Well, YOU obviously don't understand what it means to be partners, Madison. It means that occasionally you show me your notes. I would do the exact same for you.
Madison: Yeah. If you ever took notes.
Ivy: Excuse me?
Madison: Look, Ivy, I have to go. Why don't you just ask Mr. Danehy for help?
PWNED!!
Why is Fiona so overdramatic??
Fiona: Maddie, I can't believe you!
Madison: What happened?
Fiona: You promised you wouldn't tell!!
Madison: Fiona...
Fiona: I thought you were my friend. How could you?
Madison: Please tell me what's wrong.
Fiona: Why don't you read The Wall? You'll see what I'm talking about, Maddie. You'll see.
Posted by: MF13
Date: 8 Nov
Message: some secrets r way 2 hard 2 keep even about my friends F.W. sez its all god but she and W.D. probably want to hook up @ the movies next week I know it what a j-o-k-e they are so NOT innocent :)
:O Okay, "Madison" basically called Fiona a slut, but Fiona seems more mad that "Madison" told her secret.
Yeah, you should keep your friends' secrets, but what's secret about being asked out?? Wouldn't you be happy? Wouldn't you WANT to share the news with everyone? I mean, you're already "a couple", right???
So, even though I know Madison didn't write this, she shouldn't have told the secret, but WHY WAS IT A SECRET IN THE FIRST PLACE?
Um, duh. Egg told everyone. Big surprise.
Madison thinks it might be Chet, then feels bad and insists they shouldn't do anything.
Why would Chet do that...AND use Madison's scrnnme? Confused.
Madison wants to know if Dan ever made up a fake screenname for himself.
Who hasn't?? No offense, Maddie, but MadFinn kind of sucks.
Aimee has a secret, too! She might get a lead in the next ballet production!
$100 it'll be on The Wall tomorrow.
Madison's gym shorts are sort of tight and Ivy makes fun of them.
I thought tight things were in?? Ivy's just jealous.
Hehehe, Madison gets paired up with Ivy for volleyball.
Ivy: I despise volleyball.
That makes two of us.
Madison: You just despise everything and everyone.
Heheheheheh.
Madison finds a bulletin about Aimee on the wall...supposedly posted by herself. Instead of calling Aimee about it, she retreats to her files to be emo???
Whatever. Aimee will be calling to yell at you in like 2 minutes anyway.
Aimee and Madison have a fight. Aimee drags up stuff from the past, about all the times Madison has lied (she's only lied once). Aimee sort of sucks.
Lol.
As Aimee's leaving, she turns around and screams, "THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!"
Egg thinks Fiona is stupid for being mad at Madison.
Go Egg!
Ivy gets "gravity" and "relativity" mixed up.
.....
Heh. Ivy and Madison have to do a science project together...and Madison makes Ivy do all the work. Payback.
Ivy: What did you find in the back?
Madison: No much. We should do more research upstairs in the media center, thought. Can you go look after school?
Ivy: Me? Why don't you go look after school.
Madison: I have an after-school conflict today.
Ivy: Well, I have a conflict, too. Like, I don't do science work after school. That's my conflict.
Madison: Maybe we should each write our own paper. I can ask Mr. Danehy if we can split-
Ivy: NO! Okay, I'll look in the media center. Don't throw a hissy about it. Gosh, you always overreact. What a drama queen.
GO MADISON!!
Mr. Danehy gives Ivy an F!!
Today is not Ivy's day.
Ugh, I hate it when people read over my shoulder!!!
Lance is a creepy kid.
Mrs. Wing brings her baby Phoebe to school.
Lance: My cousin had a big, fatso baby. He was so huge, he looked like he was stuffed.
Thanks, Lance.
Boys like babies, too.
It seems like Bigwheels is always either sick or grounded.
"SORRY I wasn't on my computer, but I was SICK and GROUNDED at the SAME TIME."
"Friends are forever, boys are whatever!"
What if all your friends are boys??
Madison wants revenge.
Noooo, don't do it, Madison! Revenge is never the answer!!
Madison writes a post about Ivy.
Posted by: MF13
Date: 11 Nov
Message: More big newz @ FHJH this time its I.D. in trouble wow is she ever. The WITCH is failing science. Yeah I.D. begged Mr. D. to pass her but he said no way so now the school is planning to EXPEL her...it is soooo bad Not only that but I heard that NO other school in the district wants to accept her b/c she has no real friends n e way LOL in fact there r no guys who will even look @ her b/c she dresses
That's as far as she gets before she accidentally publishes it.
Okay, who would even believe that? The part about having no friends and being a slut is pretty mean, but she wouldn't get EXPELLED for failing science.
Duh. Summer school.
Madison has become a pathological liar.
The bulletin won't be removed for 24 hours.
You sort of deserve it, Madison.
Revenge is never the answer.
"Now...Ivy will probably read what I posted and...she'll hate me forever and..."
"Wait just a minute, Maddie. I thought you and Ivy weren't friends anymore anyway."
Yeah!! What do you care what she thinks??
Shouldn't you be more worried about hurting her feelings than how she'll think of you? Because I'm pretty sure she already hates you.
Madison: Why are parents always right? And why am I always wrong?
Trust me, honey. Parents are NOT always right.
Lol, her dad is so delightfully evil.
"You're kidding! Oh, Maddie, you are most definitely going to tell your mother everything, from the beinning. We had a deal."
That's like on "Dan in Real Life".
"So Marty can stay?"
"*hysterical laughter* Marty can STAY???"
Madison can never go on The Wall again.
She is officially Off the Wall (that's where the title comes in).
Wait, MF13 is the one who's not allowed on the wall.
Madison could just create a new screename and go on whenever she wanted.
WtH???????
Lindsay, Aimee, and Fiona came over to apologize.
Why the sudden epiphany??
And why is Lindsay apologizing, too???
Madison had nothing to do with her Fat Camp thing!!! Lindsay probably didn't even know about the whole fight until now.
WHAT IS SHE DOING THERE??
It turns out Ivy told Hart she was MF13, and Hart told Chet who told Fiona.
Boys aren't the only shallow ones.
Such as girl on basketball team??
"Lauren, you'd be really pretty if you did this to your hair."
Um...thanks.
NICE!!! Madison's mom took away her laptop and is keeping it under lock and key in her desk drawer!!! Madison can only use it for one hour each day to check her e-mail!!
Finally! Good parenting!
Madison is super mean to Lance...even if he is a nerd.
Madison: I'm outta here.
Lance: But I just got here.
Madison: So? See you in class tomorrow.
Duh, Lance, you're the reason she's leaving.
Ivy: I'm never going to forget, you know.
Madison: Elephants never forget.
Ivy: Who are you calling.... OOOOOH! You think you're sooooo smart, don't you?
Madison just smiles and walks away.
The one time turning the other cheek actually WORKED.
Bigwheels is grounded because she told some kids a scary story.
Whatever. I bet it was the one about the finger.
Ew, I hate youngest children.
Madison's Computer Tip:
Beware of online gossip.
Truer words were never spoken.
I just read the last 2 Pony Pals books, and they were surprisingly enjoyable and kind of sad. Lulu's dad SUCKS; he's probably the worst father ever. So does Mrs. Crandal. It's like good parents don't EXIST in Wiggins. But that's all tomorrow; I have stuff to do.
...except the one you need???
I'm trying to find a stupid picture of this book, and my library site, of course, doesn't have this one.
You know what sucks? I ordered a BUNCH of Madison Finns that I've never read, and I'm not going to be able to read them, because I'm trying to do this in series order!!! Aaargh!
Plot: Something is very, very wrong in Far Hills. Madison's favorite teacher, Mrs. Wing, has gone missing!!! She and her husband have just up and left, without leaving a note or anything!
Madison is worrieder than worried.
If that wasn't enough, Aimee's dog Blossom is about to have puppies...with another bassett hound! See, Madison and Aimee made a pact in fourth grade that had something to do with Phin and Blossom having puppies together. It appears Aimee has broken the pact!!
To get her mind off things, Madison checks out a web Egg reccomended to her called "The Wall". The Wall is full of juicy gossip, AKA heaven for 7th grade girls.
Oh no! Someone starts posting nasty things about Madison's friends...and it looks like Madison is to blame! Will Fiona, Aimee, and Lindsay ever talk to her again?
After a little bit of digging, Madison finds out the culprit is none other than Ivy herself (saw it coming).
To get back at the fiend, she writes a very nasty message about Ivy and posts it on The Wall.
Afterwards, she is racked with guilt and tells her parents everything.
They help her take down the message...and then ground her and take away her computer for a month.
OUCH.
Fiona, Aimee, and Lindsay apologize to Madison for not believing her, and everything is rosy once more.
Oh yeah, Madison forgets about the puppies, and Mrs. Wing, it turns out, left to adopt a baby!! Yay!! Sunshine and flowers!!
More notes:
Why are school computers always so slow?
Lance has a crush on Madison, but she is repulsed by his nose-picking and cheerful, "Howdy"s.
The new computer substitute is cool, lol.
"Holy cow! It took me a century to find you cats."
Mrs. Wing leaves Madison in charge...because she's the class expert.
How embarrassingly flattering.
Egg: Get out of here. I would whomp you.
"Whomp" you?? Wth?? Who says that?
Madison and Aimee "enjoy" watching Fiona and Chet's fights.
Enjoy??? What's to enjoy? Those are so awkward!
There is no way boys gossip more than girls.
But they do gossip quite a bit.
Egg sings The Wall's praises, because there aren't any moderators.
RED FLAG! RED FLAG!
There are a buttload of rules that nobody's going to follow WITHOUT MODERATORS.
Aimee IMs Maddie to tell her about the puppies.
But when they get to the part about there being a dad OTHER than Phin, Madison just signs off.
That's always nice.
Madison is such a drama queen! "My best friend has betrayed me."
They're just puppies! And it's not like you shook on the whole puppy plan.
Yeah, the whole "puppy plan" consisted of a bunch of jokes on how ugly Blossom and Phin's puppies would be.
SHE EVEN ADMITS IT! "It was like a dream of mine. I know we didn't make a formal pact or anything, but isn't a friend's word supposed to count for something?"
Dude, I looked these kinds of puppies up online, and they're adorable!!! Just go online and look up "Bassugg puppies".
Dan: Maddie! I'm so glad you're here. I could use your help big-time.
Madison: I'm glad you're here, too. It's been a bad day. I need cheering up.
Dan: Try cleaning up dog poop and cat poop. That'll cheer you up real fast.
Oh, Dan, you charmer you.
THe conversation takes an awkward turn when Madison mentions "those naked-looking cats".
Dan: *giggle* Naked?
Madison: *blush of death* So, um, about my problems....
Dan thinks Madison should chill out and not be so mad at Aimee.
He also thinks Dr. Wing and Mrs. Wing ran away together, but hey.
Madison's Dad wants to go out to dinner with Stephanie's nephew Kirk.
Madison thinks Kirk will probably be a dork.
And, of course, he's no Hart Jones.
Madison's Excuses for not dining with Kirk:
I have the walk the dog.
I have to wash my hair.
I have to save the world from an alien attack.
This probably spoils everything, but Kirk, in later books, turns out to be a way cute Kountry Gentleman.
Poor, poor Madison.
Yay, "Number the Stars"! That's one of my favorite books!!
Ivy is so evil!!
Ivy: I don't see what the big deal is. I mean, I didn't really fail the test. I only got a D, you know. Mr. Danehy is such a pain.
Joan: Science is so dumb anyway.
Ivy: And if that stupid twit Madison had just sat differently, I could have cheated off her paper, anyhow. She's such a goody-goody.
Joan: You'll pass science.
Ivy: Who really cares? I can always copy Madison's lab notes anyway. I do it all the time when she isn't looking.
Mrs. Wing adopted a baby...and Madison was the last one to know.
Been there, done that.
Meaning I've been the last to know. No, I haven't adopted a baby recently. The last baby I met yelled, "Poop," at me and threatened to beat me up if I spoke again.
Someone who goes to FHJH writes a post about Mrs. Wing on the wall. Maddie is like, "Nooo, everyone knew before me!!"
Someone replies to the post: So what, who cares?
Yeah, really, who cares? My teachers get pregnant all the time.
Aimee and Fiona are so stupid!!! They both post on a board called "Hotties" using their REAL SCREENNAMES!!! Now everyone will know it's them!
Posted by: BalletGrl
Date: 5 Nov
Message: actually I like this guy Ben but no one really knows so shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I should not have written that
Why would you write it if you didn't want anyone to know???
Posted by: Wetwinz
Date: 5 Nov
Message: of course someone who has been flirting w/me a lot wink wink can u guess who? *G*
Aimee sees the humor in the puppy situation.
Aimee: Maddie! I told you that about the puppies when we were in, like, fourth grade! And besides, my mom and dad are the ones who decide who Blossom will have puppies with, not me. And they want basset hounds, not some mix of pug and...Maddie, can you imagine what Blossom and Phin's babies would really look like?
Uh, yeah...they would be SOOO CUTE!
Fiona: By the way, I heard some big news.
Madison: Yeah, yeah, big news, I know. Mrs. Wing had a baby.
Fiona: Huh? What are you talking about? A baby? She did?
Madison: Wait. You didn't know?
Fiona: MRS. WING HAD A BABY? Oh, wow! This is, like, HUGE news. My news is so little and puny compared to yours. I just found out that the soccer team is moving their practice space. Wow! How did you find about Mrs. Wing?
So it turns out Madison isn't the last one to know, but come on, Fiona!! The soccer team is moving their practice space??? WHAT KIND OF NEWS IS THAT???
Oooh, lucky. Madison's school has free period instead of study hall.
Someone posts a REALLY mean message about Lindsay!!
Posted by: LoVeBuG
Date: Nov 6
Message: there is ms. fatty in my class and she is SOOOO fat that she cant even go 2 regular camp LOL she has to go to FAT CAMP and she walks around with a dumb black haircut & purple backpack that looks like she should be in the first grade LOSER!!! I feel bad 4 her yah right NOT FHJH would be better w/o her :)
That's pretty mean, but I thought Lindsay had light brown hair. She even has some on the cover.
Lindsay now wants all of her friends to stop going on the site.
It may be disloyal, but...
...I'd probably keep going on The Wall if I were Madison.
Which she does.
Lindsay: I bet it was the guys. I know they make fun of me because I'm overweight. I heard them once.
Madison: You did?
Lindsay: Yeah. I heard Hart and Chet talking once about who was the prettiest in our class.
Madison: Hart and Chet?
Fiona: What did they say, exactly? My brother is such a geek. Don't listen to him!
Lindsay: I don't remember everyone they were talking about, but I do know they said Ivy was the hottest girl and that some other girls were okay but some were too fat, like me and Beth Sanders.
[!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS SO MEAN!!! Proof that guys suck.]
Fiona: Well, Lindsay. Beth Sanders is fat. She's huge. She takes up two seats at lunch. You're not fat like that.
[I lied, girls suck, too. ESPECIALLY FIONA.]
Madison: That's not the point, guys.
Thank you, Madison.
Lol.
"Madison knew the truth. They would all huff and puff and complain about how terrible it was to post gossip. And then they'd each go home that very night and check the next postings on the gossip page - just in case something interesting came up."
Some people just suck at math. Video games have nothing to do with that.
Madison's Dad reads the Lindsay post outloud, and it sounds kind of funny when he says it.
"What does that text say? 'Fat camp'? 'Looks like she should be in the first grade LOSER'? What is this? This isn't an e-mail from one of your friends, is it?"
Dad thinks girls are meaner than boys.
So true.
Fiona has big news!!!
Fiona: Okay, so he finally, really asked me.
Madison: Asked you? What? Who?"
Fiona: Egg! He asked me out. For real.
Madison: He asked you out? He said those exact words.
Fiona: He wants to go to the movies next week. Can you believe it? I know we're sort of a 'couple', but this really makes a difference
AARGH, NO!! You're not officially a "couple" until he asks you out.
Otherwise, he's just playing you.
I can't believe it's been this long and he JUST NOW asked her out.
Egg's a playa....
Whoa, Madison stands up to Ivy in this one! And it's really funny!
Madison: You obviously don't know the meaning of the word homework, Ivy. It means you actually have to do work, at home.
Ivy: Well, YOU obviously don't understand what it means to be partners, Madison. It means that occasionally you show me your notes. I would do the exact same for you.
Madison: Yeah. If you ever took notes.
Ivy: Excuse me?
Madison: Look, Ivy, I have to go. Why don't you just ask Mr. Danehy for help?
PWNED!!
Why is Fiona so overdramatic??
Fiona: Maddie, I can't believe you!
Madison: What happened?
Fiona: You promised you wouldn't tell!!
Madison: Fiona...
Fiona: I thought you were my friend. How could you?
Madison: Please tell me what's wrong.
Fiona: Why don't you read The Wall? You'll see what I'm talking about, Maddie. You'll see.
Posted by: MF13
Date: 8 Nov
Message: some secrets r way 2 hard 2 keep even about my friends F.W. sez its all god but she and W.D. probably want to hook up @ the movies next week I know it what a j-o-k-e they are so NOT innocent :)
:O Okay, "Madison" basically called Fiona a slut, but Fiona seems more mad that "Madison" told her secret.
Yeah, you should keep your friends' secrets, but what's secret about being asked out?? Wouldn't you be happy? Wouldn't you WANT to share the news with everyone? I mean, you're already "a couple", right???
So, even though I know Madison didn't write this, she shouldn't have told the secret, but WHY WAS IT A SECRET IN THE FIRST PLACE?
Um, duh. Egg told everyone. Big surprise.
Madison thinks it might be Chet, then feels bad and insists they shouldn't do anything.
Why would Chet do that...AND use Madison's scrnnme? Confused.
Madison wants to know if Dan ever made up a fake screenname for himself.
Who hasn't?? No offense, Maddie, but MadFinn kind of sucks.
Aimee has a secret, too! She might get a lead in the next ballet production!
$100 it'll be on The Wall tomorrow.
Madison's gym shorts are sort of tight and Ivy makes fun of them.
I thought tight things were in?? Ivy's just jealous.
Hehehe, Madison gets paired up with Ivy for volleyball.
Ivy: I despise volleyball.
That makes two of us.
Madison: You just despise everything and everyone.
Heheheheheh.
Madison finds a bulletin about Aimee on the wall...supposedly posted by herself. Instead of calling Aimee about it, she retreats to her files to be emo???
Whatever. Aimee will be calling to yell at you in like 2 minutes anyway.
Aimee and Madison have a fight. Aimee drags up stuff from the past, about all the times Madison has lied (she's only lied once). Aimee sort of sucks.
Lol.
As Aimee's leaving, she turns around and screams, "THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!"
Egg thinks Fiona is stupid for being mad at Madison.
Go Egg!
Ivy gets "gravity" and "relativity" mixed up.
.....
Heh. Ivy and Madison have to do a science project together...and Madison makes Ivy do all the work. Payback.
Ivy: What did you find in the back?
Madison: No much. We should do more research upstairs in the media center, thought. Can you go look after school?
Ivy: Me? Why don't you go look after school.
Madison: I have an after-school conflict today.
Ivy: Well, I have a conflict, too. Like, I don't do science work after school. That's my conflict.
Madison: Maybe we should each write our own paper. I can ask Mr. Danehy if we can split-
Ivy: NO! Okay, I'll look in the media center. Don't throw a hissy about it. Gosh, you always overreact. What a drama queen.
GO MADISON!!
Mr. Danehy gives Ivy an F!!
Today is not Ivy's day.
Ugh, I hate it when people read over my shoulder!!!
Lance is a creepy kid.
Mrs. Wing brings her baby Phoebe to school.
Lance: My cousin had a big, fatso baby. He was so huge, he looked like he was stuffed.
Thanks, Lance.
Boys like babies, too.
It seems like Bigwheels is always either sick or grounded.
"SORRY I wasn't on my computer, but I was SICK and GROUNDED at the SAME TIME."
"Friends are forever, boys are whatever!"
What if all your friends are boys??
Madison wants revenge.
Noooo, don't do it, Madison! Revenge is never the answer!!
Madison writes a post about Ivy.
Posted by: MF13
Date: 11 Nov
Message: More big newz @ FHJH this time its I.D. in trouble wow is she ever. The WITCH is failing science. Yeah I.D. begged Mr. D. to pass her but he said no way so now the school is planning to EXPEL her...it is soooo bad Not only that but I heard that NO other school in the district wants to accept her b/c she has no real friends n e way LOL in fact there r no guys who will even look @ her b/c she dresses
That's as far as she gets before she accidentally publishes it.
Okay, who would even believe that? The part about having no friends and being a slut is pretty mean, but she wouldn't get EXPELLED for failing science.
Duh. Summer school.
Madison has become a pathological liar.
The bulletin won't be removed for 24 hours.
You sort of deserve it, Madison.
Revenge is never the answer.
"Now...Ivy will probably read what I posted and...she'll hate me forever and..."
"Wait just a minute, Maddie. I thought you and Ivy weren't friends anymore anyway."
Yeah!! What do you care what she thinks??
Shouldn't you be more worried about hurting her feelings than how she'll think of you? Because I'm pretty sure she already hates you.
Madison: Why are parents always right? And why am I always wrong?
Trust me, honey. Parents are NOT always right.
Lol, her dad is so delightfully evil.
"You're kidding! Oh, Maddie, you are most definitely going to tell your mother everything, from the beinning. We had a deal."
That's like on "Dan in Real Life".
"So Marty can stay?"
"*hysterical laughter* Marty can STAY???"
Madison can never go on The Wall again.
She is officially Off the Wall (that's where the title comes in).
Wait, MF13 is the one who's not allowed on the wall.
Madison could just create a new screename and go on whenever she wanted.
WtH???????
Lindsay, Aimee, and Fiona came over to apologize.
Why the sudden epiphany??
And why is Lindsay apologizing, too???
Madison had nothing to do with her Fat Camp thing!!! Lindsay probably didn't even know about the whole fight until now.
WHAT IS SHE DOING THERE??
It turns out Ivy told Hart she was MF13, and Hart told Chet who told Fiona.
Boys aren't the only shallow ones.
Such as girl on basketball team??
"Lauren, you'd be really pretty if you did this to your hair."
Um...thanks.
NICE!!! Madison's mom took away her laptop and is keeping it under lock and key in her desk drawer!!! Madison can only use it for one hour each day to check her e-mail!!
Finally! Good parenting!
Madison is super mean to Lance...even if he is a nerd.
Madison: I'm outta here.
Lance: But I just got here.
Madison: So? See you in class tomorrow.
Duh, Lance, you're the reason she's leaving.
Ivy: I'm never going to forget, you know.
Madison: Elephants never forget.
Ivy: Who are you calling.... OOOOOH! You think you're sooooo smart, don't you?
Madison just smiles and walks away.
The one time turning the other cheek actually WORKED.
Bigwheels is grounded because she told some kids a scary story.
Whatever. I bet it was the one about the finger.
Ew, I hate youngest children.
Madison's Computer Tip:
Beware of online gossip.
Truer words were never spoken.
I just read the last 2 Pony Pals books, and they were surprisingly enjoyable and kind of sad. Lulu's dad SUCKS; he's probably the worst father ever. So does Mrs. Crandal. It's like good parents don't EXIST in Wiggins. But that's all tomorrow; I have stuff to do.
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