Should I write some fanfic? I'm going to whether you like it or not, but there's the matter of posting it on the internet (or more specifically, this blog) if any of you would be interested in reading it. It would be a parody, of course, and will hopefully be better than a certain soap of mine.
I don't know.
I did make a poll. Oh, how democratic.
Just travel on over to the little box on the right...ON THE RIGHT...ON THE RIGHT...just making sure.
I'm partly only writing this post because I don't want to post anything right now. I'm sort of bored.
And I really want to read the third Maximum Ride book.
And the second Gossip Girl book.
Monday, December 31, 2007
As soon as I get a boyfriend, they're making me leave, or FTFO Madison Finn #9: Just Visiting
Ooh, a Madison Finn adventure purely about boys!! Well, that, and vacations, and 4th of July, and grandparents, and friend withdrawal, but other than that....
Plot: It's summer and Madison has so many plans she doesn't even remember them all. What she's most looking forward to is the Far Hills Independence Day Extravaganza, where Hart will be....
Then her mom drops the bomb: Madison won't be spending her summer in Far Hills. She'll be spending it with her grandma, because her mom has to work and no one else wants her in their house. Bummer.
So they fly on over to Winnetka: Madison, Fran, and Phin. Fran drops Madison and Phin off with Gramma Helen and leaves for California. Gramma Helen turns out to be a lot of fun, because Madison can go on her laptop whenever she wants and there's always cool things to do.
Also, Helen's best friend has a grandson Madison's age...and he's cute. His name is Mark and Madison is in love. What about Hart? Oh well.
Madison and Mark spend a lot of time together. Stuff happens. Romance blooms. How adorable. Mark asks Madison to the big 4th of July celebration...and Madison says NO!!
She had the feeling Gramma Helen needed her or would get lonely or something, so she turned down a once in a lifetime oppurtunity. Mark is crushed.
Thank God for meddling grandmas! The grandmas insist that the two "young people" go out together anyway.
So they do. On 4th of July, Madison and Mark ride rides, run around in a maze, eat fatty fried foods (ugh, alliteration), and watch fireworks together. Then Mark kisses Maddie!!
Then he has to leave the next day. The two say goodbye and promise to keep in touch. Madison gives Mark a homemade collage a goodbye present. How...sweet.
Madison goes back home and everyone missed her, even though they insist she missed the best 4th of July ever. Best of all: There had been rumors circling that Hart would go to the extravaganza with Ivy, but he ditched her. Sucks for Ivy...but not for Madison. It appears she likes Hart again. What about Mark??
We'll find out later.
More notes:
Aaargh. My house doesn't have air conditioning either.
Bigwheels is going on a road trip through the West Coast. That's cool...except for the road trip part.
What the heck? Aimee's family can't take her, her dad is busy...call Fiona's mom!! Why would you call her grandma BEFORE you call any of her other friends? That's so mean. She's either racist or she wants Madison to miss 4th of July.
"I know she isn't ruining your Fourth of July on purpose." Are you sure???
Ooh, an extravaganza!!! Sounds...extravagant!
They see Aimee at Freeze Palace. She admits she's pigging out. Trying out bulimia this time?
"Meet me in BFFLAND and hurry." I'm sorry, but that sounds really funny.
: I could ask my mom if u can stay w/us
: no, that's ok my gramma thinks I'm coming now so I have to go she'll be sad if I don't
SHE DIDN'T ASK HER!!! Fran Finn, you stupid ho.
Lindsay, Lindsay. Always the odd man out, with your kayak.
Madison starts freaking out because Hart is splashing her. Why'd you go to the lake wearing a swimsuit if you didn't want to get wet?
I'm really not getting why Madison is so mad. Partly because she lost her favorite hairclip, I guess. Shut up, I'm not joking.
Drew is very adorable and considerate and not stalker in this one.
But he's still really obvious.
"Madison had a sudden vision of Ivy crashing into the net, into the sand, and losing her top in front of the entire world - only to slink away in shame...."
Did you want to see Ivy's humiliation...or did you want to see Ivy without a top?
Hart tells Madison he likes her T-shirt and Madison starts babbling about the sun drying it out for like 5 minutes.
Awww...Hart found Maddie's hair clip.
Fran: I met the first boy I ever liked - really liked - up at that lake house. His name was Ethan Randall. He was so cute. Well...Ethan Randall was the cutest boy I ever met. And he was so nice, too. We went for walks. We swam together in the lake up there. When I was thirteen, I had my best summer ever.
Madison: You did? What happened?
Fran: *blush of death*
They so had sex.
Gramma Helen goes grocery shopping and gets whatever Madison wants. Yay, I love grandparents.
Madison's mom set her hair on fire?
Aw, Hart sends her an e-mail. Soo cute.
Oh no, a cute boy took out the garbage and saw me!!! TRAUMA!!
Madison obsesses over her outfit, and all they're doing is going to the supermarket. Lol, I know the feeling well.
Oh no, they meet Mark in town!!!
Madison goes to the beach and meets a girl named PAM. Hmmm.... You should ask her about ponies, Madison, and see what she does.
Madison fakes sick to get out of meeting Mark.
So her grandmother brings Mark and his grandma over to HER house for lunch. Pwned.
Why did this boy make her so nervous? Hm, he's hot?
HA!! Madison thinks being 14 makes you mature. ROFL!!! I'm so proof against that statement.
Whatever. Older boys are overrated.
: Yeah and Sasha is wicked experienced too w/boys - she has done a lot I was surprised when she told me
:O Like WHAT?? Well, duh, I can guess, but knowing Madison Finn, "experience" probably refers to holding hands. Omg, Sasha's held hands with 20 boys and kissed 4 of them!!
Oh no, Hart is going on a date with Ivy! I would be crying so hard at this point. You're so strong, Maddie.
Madison reminisces about her grandpa, and it made me really sad. I miss my grandpa, too. Only mine isn't dead, he just lives on the other side of the country.
Madison makes Mark a collage to show her "appreciation" or something. *rolls eyes*
OMG Mark catches Madison sitting on the lawn in her pajamas. That sucks.
But he doesn't care how she dresses. That's so adorable.
Mark stutters.
"It doesn't have to be a big deal. I mean, I didn't mean to make a big d-d-deal out of it...."
"She wanted to scream, 'YES, OF COURSE I WILL GO WITH YOU!'"
Girls should be allowed to scream that from time to time without receiving weird looks.
SHE TURNS HIM DOWN!!
"Well, I would love to go with you, but I really think I should spend the Fourth of July with my gramma Helen. I came here to visit her, after all. It seems funny to go to the fireworks without her. Don't you agree?"
Dude, I love Maddie's grandma. "Tell him you've changed your mind." "I can't do that." "Then tell him at dinner. I invited him over."
Yay, Bigwheels sends a survey!!! I love these!! Bigwheels and I would pretty much be best friends.
Name: Victoria
Nickname: Vicki
Home: Washington State
Favorite color: Blue
Hobbies: Computers, reading
Lucky number: 8
Pets: Nope
Brothers and sisters: 1 sister + 1 brother
Favorite subject: English
I want to travel to...: Visit Madison!
Best Friend: My keypal Madison!
That's actually a pretty boring survey.
Aaargh, Mark is such an idiot.
Mark: You don't have to stay around here. If you want to be with your grandmother.
Madison: Well, no I don't. But I want to.
Wait, what??
Mark: Huh?
Madison: I want to be here. I-I mean, if you're okay with that.
Mark: Well, I'm okay.
Being considerate doesn't mean...aargh, never mind.
Mark thinks she's REALLY NICE. Hee.
Oh, but he insults her, and says he prefers going on rides alone.
Even his burps are cute! Madison's words, not mine.
She sits in Mark's lap. He's all, "Ooooh."
Whoa, Mark kissed Madison??? That's pretty intense.
What, Fiona and Aimee have already been kissed? Fiona, yeah, but Aimee? Since when?? Your brother doesn't count, Aimee.
"You know what? I think he likes you, Maddie. You can tell by the way he looks at you."
Gee, and by the way he stuck her tongue in his mouth last night.
They spend his last day on the beach together.
Who doesn't have e-mail?
Mark's in computer club???
Ha ha. Present envy.
Hart DIDN'T go out with Ivy!! Mark, who?
Madison's Computer Tip:
E-mail keeps me close to my BFFs, Mom and Dad, and even NEW friends when I go away.
How nice. I have an Avalon I have to read, then a Unicorns of Balinor, and then a CHRISTMAS-themed Madison Finn. Yeah, excellent timing, right? Not. :P
Plot: It's summer and Madison has so many plans she doesn't even remember them all. What she's most looking forward to is the Far Hills Independence Day Extravaganza, where Hart will be....
Then her mom drops the bomb: Madison won't be spending her summer in Far Hills. She'll be spending it with her grandma, because her mom has to work and no one else wants her in their house. Bummer.
So they fly on over to Winnetka: Madison, Fran, and Phin. Fran drops Madison and Phin off with Gramma Helen and leaves for California. Gramma Helen turns out to be a lot of fun, because Madison can go on her laptop whenever she wants and there's always cool things to do.
Also, Helen's best friend has a grandson Madison's age...and he's cute. His name is Mark and Madison is in love. What about Hart? Oh well.
Madison and Mark spend a lot of time together. Stuff happens. Romance blooms. How adorable. Mark asks Madison to the big 4th of July celebration...and Madison says NO!!
She had the feeling Gramma Helen needed her or would get lonely or something, so she turned down a once in a lifetime oppurtunity. Mark is crushed.
Thank God for meddling grandmas! The grandmas insist that the two "young people" go out together anyway.
So they do. On 4th of July, Madison and Mark ride rides, run around in a maze, eat fatty fried foods (ugh, alliteration), and watch fireworks together. Then Mark kisses Maddie!!
Then he has to leave the next day. The two say goodbye and promise to keep in touch. Madison gives Mark a homemade collage a goodbye present. How...sweet.
Madison goes back home and everyone missed her, even though they insist she missed the best 4th of July ever. Best of all: There had been rumors circling that Hart would go to the extravaganza with Ivy, but he ditched her. Sucks for Ivy...but not for Madison. It appears she likes Hart again. What about Mark??
We'll find out later.
More notes:
Aaargh. My house doesn't have air conditioning either.
Bigwheels is going on a road trip through the West Coast. That's cool...except for the road trip part.
What the heck? Aimee's family can't take her, her dad is busy...call Fiona's mom!! Why would you call her grandma BEFORE you call any of her other friends? That's so mean. She's either racist or she wants Madison to miss 4th of July.
"I know she isn't ruining your Fourth of July on purpose." Are you sure???
Ooh, an extravaganza!!! Sounds...extravagant!
They see Aimee at Freeze Palace. She admits she's pigging out. Trying out bulimia this time?
"Meet me in BFFLAND and hurry." I'm sorry, but that sounds really funny.
SHE DIDN'T ASK HER!!! Fran Finn, you stupid ho.
Lindsay, Lindsay. Always the odd man out, with your kayak.
Madison starts freaking out because Hart is splashing her. Why'd you go to the lake wearing a swimsuit if you didn't want to get wet?
I'm really not getting why Madison is so mad. Partly because she lost her favorite hairclip, I guess. Shut up, I'm not joking.
Drew is very adorable and considerate and not stalker in this one.
But he's still really obvious.
"Madison had a sudden vision of Ivy crashing into the net, into the sand, and losing her top in front of the entire world - only to slink away in shame...."
Did you want to see Ivy's humiliation...or did you want to see Ivy without a top?
Hart tells Madison he likes her T-shirt and Madison starts babbling about the sun drying it out for like 5 minutes.
Awww...Hart found Maddie's hair clip.
Fran: I met the first boy I ever liked - really liked - up at that lake house. His name was Ethan Randall. He was so cute. Well...Ethan Randall was the cutest boy I ever met. And he was so nice, too. We went for walks. We swam together in the lake up there. When I was thirteen, I had my best summer ever.
Madison: You did? What happened?
Fran: *blush of death*
They so had sex.
Gramma Helen goes grocery shopping and gets whatever Madison wants. Yay, I love grandparents.
Madison's mom set her hair on fire?
Aw, Hart sends her an e-mail. Soo cute.
Oh no, a cute boy took out the garbage and saw me!!! TRAUMA!!
Madison obsesses over her outfit, and all they're doing is going to the supermarket. Lol, I know the feeling well.
Oh no, they meet Mark in town!!!
Madison goes to the beach and meets a girl named PAM. Hmmm.... You should ask her about ponies, Madison, and see what she does.
Madison fakes sick to get out of meeting Mark.
So her grandmother brings Mark and his grandma over to HER house for lunch. Pwned.
Why did this boy make her so nervous? Hm, he's hot?
HA!! Madison thinks being 14 makes you mature. ROFL!!! I'm so proof against that statement.
Whatever. Older boys are overrated.
:O Like WHAT?? Well, duh, I can guess, but knowing Madison Finn, "experience" probably refers to holding hands. Omg, Sasha's held hands with 20 boys and kissed 4 of them!!
Oh no, Hart is going on a date with Ivy! I would be crying so hard at this point. You're so strong, Maddie.
Madison reminisces about her grandpa, and it made me really sad. I miss my grandpa, too. Only mine isn't dead, he just lives on the other side of the country.
Madison makes Mark a collage to show her "appreciation" or something. *rolls eyes*
OMG Mark catches Madison sitting on the lawn in her pajamas. That sucks.
But he doesn't care how she dresses. That's so adorable.
Mark stutters.
"It doesn't have to be a big deal. I mean, I didn't mean to make a big d-d-deal out of it...."
"She wanted to scream, 'YES, OF COURSE I WILL GO WITH YOU!'"
Girls should be allowed to scream that from time to time without receiving weird looks.
SHE TURNS HIM DOWN!!
"Well, I would love to go with you, but I really think I should spend the Fourth of July with my gramma Helen. I came here to visit her, after all. It seems funny to go to the fireworks without her. Don't you agree?"
Dude, I love Maddie's grandma. "Tell him you've changed your mind." "I can't do that." "Then tell him at dinner. I invited him over."
Yay, Bigwheels sends a survey!!! I love these!! Bigwheels and I would pretty much be best friends.
Name: Victoria
Nickname: Vicki
Home: Washington State
Favorite color: Blue
Hobbies: Computers, reading
Lucky number: 8
Pets: Nope
Brothers and sisters: 1 sister + 1 brother
Favorite subject: English
I want to travel to...: Visit Madison!
Best Friend: My keypal Madison!
That's actually a pretty boring survey.
Aaargh, Mark is such an idiot.
Mark: You don't have to stay around here. If you want to be with your grandmother.
Madison: Well, no I don't. But I want to.
Wait, what??
Mark: Huh?
Madison: I want to be here. I-I mean, if you're okay with that.
Mark: Well, I'm okay.
Being considerate doesn't mean...aargh, never mind.
Mark thinks she's REALLY NICE. Hee.
Oh, but he insults her, and says he prefers going on rides alone.
Even his burps are cute! Madison's words, not mine.
She sits in Mark's lap. He's all, "Ooooh."
Whoa, Mark kissed Madison??? That's pretty intense.
What, Fiona and Aimee have already been kissed? Fiona, yeah, but Aimee? Since when?? Your brother doesn't count, Aimee.
"You know what? I think he likes you, Maddie. You can tell by the way he looks at you."
Gee, and by the way he stuck her tongue in his mouth last night.
They spend his last day on the beach together.
Who doesn't have e-mail?
Mark's in computer club???
Ha ha. Present envy.
Hart DIDN'T go out with Ivy!! Mark, who?
Madison's Computer Tip:
E-mail keeps me close to my BFFs, Mom and Dad, and even NEW friends when I go away.
How nice. I have an Avalon I have to read, then a Unicorns of Balinor, and then a CHRISTMAS-themed Madison Finn. Yeah, excellent timing, right? Not. :P
Sunday, December 30, 2007
These quests are pretty easy when you have a super unicorn, or Unicorns of Balinor #4: By Fire, By Moonlight
This was my favorite Unicorns of Balinor book back in the day. Now, rereading it, I'm not sure why. I mean, there's nothing really wrong with it, besides Atalanta's constant moaning, but it's sort of...boring. Compared to the "action" in the other books. It takes a long time to get to the point. Hey, random news: "The Little White Horse" is actually being made into a movie!! Yeah, it'll be out in 2008! Only Dakota Blue Richards will be in it, and I'm not a big fan of her. I don't even really like that book.
Plot: This book, like all the others, opens with an entire chapter devoted to Atalanta's senseless moanings. Hmmm, it appears that by falling through the Gap into Glacier River Farm, Ari upset the magic balance. Now Shifter's side has all the power and some prophecy about completing a trial by fire and a trial by moonlight, symbolized by a red rose and a white rose, has to be fulfilled. Sounds a lot like "Happily N'ever After".
Ari is back on the farm, but doesn't want to be: what if someone see's Chase and flips out?? Lori is finally back where she belongs, but isn't happy about it. Yay, then Lady Kylie randomly comes and attacks Ari, but Lori saves her. Unfortunately, the Gap has collapsed. Bummer.... Ari consults the magic scepter and he digs up all the dirt for her. Oh. Problem solved.
She and Chase are back in the Valley of Fear with Lincoln...and Lori, who has apparently followed them. Stupid. Demon unicorns attack them, but Chase gets all testy and threatens them or something, so they get away. They get on the Dawnwalker and are safe.
Then Ari receives a notice about a unicorn steeplechase taking place in Deridia. On the bottom is a dying red rose. Change course, let's go to Deridia!!
They reach Deridia and walk the course. It is muy difficult. Ari meets a boy named Finn and his unicorn, Cinna. Finn has several Anakin-like qualities and Deridia is so much like Tatooine that it's sometimes hard to distinguish between the two stories.
Race day. Oh no!! It's Moloth the really big scary black demon unicorn and an unnamed shadow rider!!! The race is on!! Since no one else can even compete, it's between Chase and Moloth. Moloth's rider is cheating and using violence, but Finn and his newfound Celestial unicorn friend Rednal show Ari the way out, so she wins, much to the chagrin of the townspeople. They give chase, but Finn leads them all to a cave and they find themselves on a beach.
Actually, Lori and Lincoln are back in Deridia with the angry townspeople, but Dr. Bohnes dismisses this, because at least Ari is safe, and the Deep Magic will protect them.
Very nice.
While on the beach, Ari receives a notice about a midnight diving competition to take place in the ocean. At the bottom is a white rose, meaning it's part of the prophecy blaaaa....
Ari dives. Fights with Kraken. Wins. Too easy. Prophecy complete. Scales balanced. Everyone gets back on Dawnwalker, where they find Lincoln and Lori??? How??? Lori thinks Finn is hot. Ari isn't jealous. All is well. All is boring.
More notes:
Of course every book starts the same way: Atalanta, Dreamspeaker to the unicorns of the Celestial Valley herd....
I love Rednal. He was my favorite unicorn back in the day, only they describe him as deep crimson, and it seems someone named REDnal would be a more boisterous REDDISH color.
Whaaat, he's Sunchaser's brother!!
Oh, and lead stallion of the red band. Because God forbid Chase should have a NORMAL brother.
"The Scales of Magic. See? That's the Shifter's side on the left. And your side, Dreamspeaker, is on the right. They always go up and down a bit, but they're never really out of balance."
Oh yeah? What about when Shifter pwned Ari and Chase, threw them into the real world, and captured her family? If that didn't do it, then how did Ari's falling into the Gap accomplish that major shift in Shifter's favor??
Dill and Basil decide to tell everybody that Toby is a Celestial unicorn. Nice. Blow his cover.
Okay, I hate it in books when there are snake characters that alwayssssss talk like thisssssss.
Lori saves Ari's butt and Ari's not even thankful. She's just all, "The Gap is blocked! You shouldn't have pulled me out! Ow, I broke a nail!"
The scepter reminds me SOOOO much of C-3PO.
Lori is apparently afraid of her dad. Abusive???
Okay, they make a big deal about all the "quests" Ari has been on, but they've always been super easy. The quest for the scepter was the hardest one, but what was the point of blocking off the Gap if it could be unblocked just as easily?
Atalanta still thinks Toby is rude. Way to mention it like every five minutes.
The Gap sounds a LOT like The Wood Between the Worlds from "The Magician's Nephew". Plagiarism much?
Okay, last time, Ari was able to give everyone food and water without any magic spells, but now that she's "regained her memory", that thing requires magic. Whatever.
Remember when all Lori did in the past books was complain about being homesick? YOU GOT HOME!! WHY DID YOU FOLLOW THEM BACK???
Hmmm, time is different on the other side of the Gap...just like Narnia!!
Ari gets back into her "real" clothes and her "comfortable leather boots". Whoa whoa whoa. In the last book you were complaining about how worn they were getting and how Lori shouldn't have gotten new shoes and how you needed a Royal Bootmaker. Don't lie to me. I remember.
Deridia is EXACTLY like Mos Eisley...and there's a woman there named Sola!!! True, that's the name of Padme's sister, and she lived on Naboo, but HELLO! STAR WARS REFERENCES!!
Omg, Finn is just like Anakin! And Ari and Chase discuss how great he would be away from Deridia and how they have to rescue him!!
"I can't make friends, Chase. I can't even talk to a boy like Finn." Awww, Ari can't talk to boys.
Lori: Everything seems normal for a race. Just do the best you can. You're the best rider here, Ari. And you have the best mount.
Awwww, that's so sweet.
Finn had a dream last night, where he rescued all the slaves and traveled the stars. I'm surprised they haven't had that, "Are you an angel?" conversation, but I suppose that would be too blatant; Mary Stanton likes to be subtle.
I'm seriously thinking you're not allowed to use a mace during a steeplechase.
Ha. The race...it's just like podracing!
Villagers: Hey! You weren't supposed to win!
We bet on Sebulba!
I can't believe they're being all nonchalant about Lori and Lincoln's plight.
"I do believe that Rednal and Finn saved our lives." Duh. "Why do you suppose Atalanta chose him to ride Rednal?"
The force is strong with him.
Oh, and he has a higher midi-clorian count than Numinor. But we'll keep that hush-hush, on the DL.
Finn is overenthusiastic about his newfound freedom. He didn't even weep for his parents.
Don't trust the mermaids!!
The mermaids' city sounds a lot like Otoh Gunga....
Oh no, Ari has to face the Kraken! Well, you beat him pretty easily before, who says it won't be easy this time?
Oh no, the mermaids are attacking her! Like in Harry Potter!
Ari: Finn's gotten very fond of Rednal.
Toby: And Lori of Finn!
ROFL!!!! Lori likes boys???
This was actually written in 1999, when "The Phantom Menace" came out, so who knows? Harry Potter came out the year prior, though. Oh well. All the LOTR and Chronicles of Narnia references are so obviously plagiarism.
But that was one of the better ones. Lol.
Plot: This book, like all the others, opens with an entire chapter devoted to Atalanta's senseless moanings. Hmmm, it appears that by falling through the Gap into Glacier River Farm, Ari upset the magic balance. Now Shifter's side has all the power and some prophecy about completing a trial by fire and a trial by moonlight, symbolized by a red rose and a white rose, has to be fulfilled. Sounds a lot like "Happily N'ever After".
Ari is back on the farm, but doesn't want to be: what if someone see's Chase and flips out?? Lori is finally back where she belongs, but isn't happy about it. Yay, then Lady Kylie randomly comes and attacks Ari, but Lori saves her. Unfortunately, the Gap has collapsed. Bummer.... Ari consults the magic scepter and he digs up all the dirt for her. Oh. Problem solved.
She and Chase are back in the Valley of Fear with Lincoln...and Lori, who has apparently followed them. Stupid. Demon unicorns attack them, but Chase gets all testy and threatens them or something, so they get away. They get on the Dawnwalker and are safe.
Then Ari receives a notice about a unicorn steeplechase taking place in Deridia. On the bottom is a dying red rose. Change course, let's go to Deridia!!
They reach Deridia and walk the course. It is muy difficult. Ari meets a boy named Finn and his unicorn, Cinna. Finn has several Anakin-like qualities and Deridia is so much like Tatooine that it's sometimes hard to distinguish between the two stories.
Race day. Oh no!! It's Moloth the really big scary black demon unicorn and an unnamed shadow rider!!! The race is on!! Since no one else can even compete, it's between Chase and Moloth. Moloth's rider is cheating and using violence, but Finn and his newfound Celestial unicorn friend Rednal show Ari the way out, so she wins, much to the chagrin of the townspeople. They give chase, but Finn leads them all to a cave and they find themselves on a beach.
Actually, Lori and Lincoln are back in Deridia with the angry townspeople, but Dr. Bohnes dismisses this, because at least Ari is safe, and the Deep Magic will protect them.
Very nice.
While on the beach, Ari receives a notice about a midnight diving competition to take place in the ocean. At the bottom is a white rose, meaning it's part of the prophecy blaaaa....
Ari dives. Fights with Kraken. Wins. Too easy. Prophecy complete. Scales balanced. Everyone gets back on Dawnwalker, where they find Lincoln and Lori??? How??? Lori thinks Finn is hot. Ari isn't jealous. All is well. All is boring.
More notes:
Of course every book starts the same way: Atalanta, Dreamspeaker to the unicorns of the Celestial Valley herd....
I love Rednal. He was my favorite unicorn back in the day, only they describe him as deep crimson, and it seems someone named REDnal would be a more boisterous REDDISH color.
Whaaat, he's Sunchaser's brother!!
Oh, and lead stallion of the red band. Because God forbid Chase should have a NORMAL brother.
"The Scales of Magic. See? That's the Shifter's side on the left. And your side, Dreamspeaker, is on the right. They always go up and down a bit, but they're never really out of balance."
Oh yeah? What about when Shifter pwned Ari and Chase, threw them into the real world, and captured her family? If that didn't do it, then how did Ari's falling into the Gap accomplish that major shift in Shifter's favor??
Dill and Basil decide to tell everybody that Toby is a Celestial unicorn. Nice. Blow his cover.
Okay, I hate it in books when there are snake characters that alwayssssss talk like thisssssss.
Lori saves Ari's butt and Ari's not even thankful. She's just all, "The Gap is blocked! You shouldn't have pulled me out! Ow, I broke a nail!"
The scepter reminds me SOOOO much of C-3PO.
Lori is apparently afraid of her dad. Abusive???
Okay, they make a big deal about all the "quests" Ari has been on, but they've always been super easy. The quest for the scepter was the hardest one, but what was the point of blocking off the Gap if it could be unblocked just as easily?
Atalanta still thinks Toby is rude. Way to mention it like every five minutes.
The Gap sounds a LOT like The Wood Between the Worlds from "The Magician's Nephew". Plagiarism much?
Okay, last time, Ari was able to give everyone food and water without any magic spells, but now that she's "regained her memory", that thing requires magic. Whatever.
Remember when all Lori did in the past books was complain about being homesick? YOU GOT HOME!! WHY DID YOU FOLLOW THEM BACK???
Hmmm, time is different on the other side of the Gap...just like Narnia!!
Ari gets back into her "real" clothes and her "comfortable leather boots". Whoa whoa whoa. In the last book you were complaining about how worn they were getting and how Lori shouldn't have gotten new shoes and how you needed a Royal Bootmaker. Don't lie to me. I remember.
Deridia is EXACTLY like Mos Eisley...and there's a woman there named Sola!!! True, that's the name of Padme's sister, and she lived on Naboo, but HELLO! STAR WARS REFERENCES!!
Omg, Finn is just like Anakin! And Ari and Chase discuss how great he would be away from Deridia and how they have to rescue him!!
"I can't make friends, Chase. I can't even talk to a boy like Finn." Awww, Ari can't talk to boys.
Lori: Everything seems normal for a race. Just do the best you can. You're the best rider here, Ari. And you have the best mount.
Awwww, that's so sweet.
Finn had a dream last night, where he rescued all the slaves and traveled the stars. I'm surprised they haven't had that, "Are you an angel?" conversation, but I suppose that would be too blatant; Mary Stanton likes to be subtle.
I'm seriously thinking you're not allowed to use a mace during a steeplechase.
Ha. The race...it's just like podracing!
Villagers: Hey! You weren't supposed to win!
We bet on Sebulba!
I can't believe they're being all nonchalant about Lori and Lincoln's plight.
"I do believe that Rednal and Finn saved our lives." Duh. "Why do you suppose Atalanta chose him to ride Rednal?"
The force is strong with him.
Oh, and he has a higher midi-clorian count than Numinor. But we'll keep that hush-hush, on the DL.
Finn is overenthusiastic about his newfound freedom. He didn't even weep for his parents.
Don't trust the mermaids!!
The mermaids' city sounds a lot like Otoh Gunga....
Oh no, Ari has to face the Kraken! Well, you beat him pretty easily before, who says it won't be easy this time?
Oh no, the mermaids are attacking her! Like in Harry Potter!
Ari: Finn's gotten very fond of Rednal.
Toby: And Lori of Finn!
ROFL!!!! Lori likes boys???
This was actually written in 1999, when "The Phantom Menace" came out, so who knows? Harry Potter came out the year prior, though. Oh well. All the LOTR and Chronicles of Narnia references are so obviously plagiarism.
But that was one of the better ones. Lol.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Because magical ponies with horns have much to teach us, or Avalon: Web of Magic #4: The Secret of the Unicorn
I really want to make a short film, though I think my artistic talents are limited to music. It's all good.
Plot: Oh dear. The fairy glen has vanished. Torrents of sick animals are pouring into Ravenswood. Emily can't feel the music. Something is definitely wrong.
Yeah, this book is about Emily, so we'll have to hear a lot about how she feels the animals' pain and that she can't be as strong as Kara or Adriane or whatever. :P
So Emily starts hearing this weird music and seeing a creepy looking face everywhere she goes, and she even passes out at a Stonehill football game.
The Three Musketeers go back to Ravenswood to heal a bunch of animals. Emily "senses" that there might be another hurt animal out in the woods, so she goes out looking for it with Ozzie and Storm. While she's gone, Kara and Adriane contact Zach, who informs them that the creature Emily is seeking might POSSIBLY be evil. Like, super evil. Uh oh.
Everyone is pretty much convinced the creature is evil, seeing as it blows up half the woods, but Emily believes "it's heart is pure" or something.
She does eventually find the magical beastie...and...it...is...a...UNICORN! No duh, you could probably tell from the cover. The unicorn's name is Lorelei and she seems to be missing her horn. She and Emily become soul mates.
Then a lumpy purple froglike thing named Ghyll appears and tells everyone that Lorelei is evil for sure.
Actually, NOTHING important happens in this book at all. Lorelei crashes a football game, she tells Emily of her painful past, they cry a lot.
Oh, and it was Lorelei's job to take care of the magic web, because that's what unicorns do, but the Dark Sorceress took her horn, so she slacked off. Typical. Blame Sorceress.
Then a harpy (some evil magical creature, don't know nor care what they are) comes and takes Lorelei away. Because he's looking for Avalon, the home of all magic, and only Lorelei knows how to get there.
Emily gets her friends to follow her into the portal, where harpy and uni have gone, and they all band together and pwn him, then send him through some random portal into an unknown world. Lol, wouldn't it suck if they happened to send him accidentally into Avalon?
So Lorelei gives Emily her horn and explains that a unicorn's horn can only be properly used when it has been freely given. Laaame. They repair the magic web together as a family. Then the mages repair the dreamcatcher (though they gave no reason why they were doing it the entire book!) with strands from the magic web.
All is well.
More notes:
Emily dreams about dancing.
Emily's in jazz band!! Or she was....
Aaargh, her dad is a saxophonist, too. Practically everyone in my family plays saxophone. DOWN WITH THE SAXOPHONE!
"Follow the music, Em. Don't be afraid to really feel it."
Oooh. Deep.
Everything Carolyn says is super condescending. DO NOT LIKE HER. Oh, and I like how she never seems to do anything but Emily practically runs Pet Palace.
She brings her dogs to a football game?? STUPID! Personal experience tells me this is a BAD idea.
"Maybe bringing her Pet Palace clients to the football game hadn't been such a hot idea after all."
Uh...yeah.
Marcus so likes Emily!!!! It's really adorable.
And Joey is super obvious about liking Adriane. "So, um, where's Adriane?"
"Marcus snickered. 'Dude, you are way too obvious.' He winked at Emily."
ROFL, said Marcus.
Emily is all oversensitive to music all of a sudden and assumes it's magic. Oooor you have Lyme Disease.
"She could see why Kara liked this boy; he had such deep blue eyes, full of compassion."
Why she goes for that fish boy is beyond me. Awww, Marcus was carrying her, too. Sooo cute....
Seriously, Emily and Marcus should get married and have like 6 kids.
Adriane always seems to have baby quiffles poking out of her vest pockets.
Adriane: I think we should contact Zach.
Kara: Need a last minute date to the harvest dance?
"'Show us where Zach is,' Adriane said, picturing the boy's handsome face and warm smile, the way his eyes danced."
If only Kara and Emily could read her mind....
"'How's the drake?' she asked, referring to the baby dragon Zach was helping to raise on Aldenmor."
"Helping" to raise? If I'm not mistaken, you left him alone on Aldenmor with Drake, and you are definitely not helping and PROBABLY not paying child support!
Zach: Adriane, I'm real glad to see you.
Adriane: Me, too.
Zach: I-
Adriane: Me, too.
He was so going to say, "I love you." Weird. They're only 13.
"Mistwolves fear nothing. Not even basilisks." Cuz all mistwolves are wimps and turn into mist and run rather than fight.
Ghyll the flobbin is looking for magic blobs. Right. I guess the author couldn't think of a better name.
Ozzie is even more annoying than usual in this book. He says, "Gah!" and kicks things a lot.
Okay, the first time Emily sees Lorelei, she's all, "That's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," and on the next page, she's like, "Lorelei would be beautiful if she wasn't covered in Black Fire." ??? But you just said....
Ozzie makes a mess in Pet Palace and Carolyn blames Emily and I guess took some extra condescending pills, because it gets super ugly.
Daaaang, it turns out Emily was hiding some anger about her parent's (or would it be parents') divorce and explodes.
Emily: Adapt? You're telling me to adapt? What about you? First you tell me to go out and make friends. Then you tell me to stay home more. Meanwhile you don't even try to adapt. You just work all the time and pretend everything's all fine and dandy. Don't tell me it's not true! I'm not stupid. What are you doing right now? It's Sunday, you know. Most vets take a day off once in a while. When was the last time you took a day off?
Carolyn: Lower your voice, Emily. And try to understand, I'm so busy-
Emily: Yeah, like you were so busy back in Colorado that you let your family fall apart! That's the reason we're here - that's why I have to worry about adapting - because you couldn't make things work with Daddy, so my whole life go ruined! I had to leave my olds friends, my old school, everything, and move to a whole new state! Ravenswood is the only really good thing that's happened to me here, and now you want to take it away from me! I'll be at Ravenswood, where I'm really needed.
:O I'm in shock. How about you?
Wait. Was there a custody battle? Did Carolyn win? And if not, why didn't Emily just decide to live with her dad?
Aaaargh, more wise words from the Native American grandma. Mostly nonsense proverbs that don't mean anything.
They try to rebuild the dreamcatcher with spaghetti.
They tell Kara to use her pink shoelaces. Why can't you use your own shoelaces?
Ew, Ghyll has a crush on Kara and there's a "funny" ongoing joke about him wanting to be kissed by a princess so he can become a prince.
"The band audition had been easy, since Emily could read music and had her own flute." Sometimes I think that's purely what they base band auditions on.
Lorelei runs onto the football field and Adriane takes out some football players to protect her. Um...whaat? Dang, Adriane.
Lorelei attacks the Evanston Eagle mascot.
Lol, Kara manages to convince everyone that Lorelei is the new mascot: The Stonehill Unicorns!! Jealous, I wish my mascot was the unicorns, though we'd probably be laughed out of the district.
Emily sings this song to Lorelei. It's like something out of "Tarzan":
Look into my eyes
Know that you can trust me
Listen to the sound
I'll always be around
Hear my words
Feel the magic in them
In friendship we are bound
I'll always be around
You and me
It's meant to be
We'll always be
Friends forever
Emily repeats herself a lot.
"Especially after what Zach told us!!??"
Um, Zach is a horny 13-year-old boy living in a magical world where he is the single parent of a baby dragon.
Lol. Kara is my BFF pretty much.
Emily plays flute...Adriane plays guitar...Kara wants to sing...they should form a band!! Foreshadowing, actually.
Hm, a creepy woman is trying to shut down Ravenswood...we need to put on a benefit concert! Seriously, I never would have come up with that.
Waaait...the Dark Sorceress captured Lorelei and cut off her horn...and Lorelei's all, "Oh no, the web is broken, all my fault." Um, not if they took your horn.
When in doubt, start singing.
Oh no, Ghyll is working for the sorceress! Ozzie kicks him a lot. It makes you feel sorry for Ghyll.
"It looks like the harpy is using Lorelei's magic to reweave the web, to make a new pathway from the connecting portals here."
Isn't that a good thing??
Because Kara sucks at singing, she can break the harpy's spell and save us all!
"Your horn may focus your magic, like our jewels. But the real magic is inside of you. Right here." In your heart.
AAARGH!! *gagging gagging*
Wait, Lorelei takes the harpy to Avalon supposedly, and that's considered noble?
Oh, she purposefully took them into the wrong portal!!! Silly unicorn!
"The magic of a unicorn can only be used when it is freely given. That is our secret."
Well, it's not a secret anymore. Way to sound like a Hallmark movie.
Ew, Kara kisses Ghyll and he turns into a purple lizard man...also known as a spriggle!
Adriane: What are going to do with the horn?
Kara: *eyes greedily*
Adriane: No, you can't wear it.
Lol, pwned.
Yay, a mother-daughter moment between Carolyn and Emily. All is forgiven.
Plot: Oh dear. The fairy glen has vanished. Torrents of sick animals are pouring into Ravenswood. Emily can't feel the music. Something is definitely wrong.
Yeah, this book is about Emily, so we'll have to hear a lot about how she feels the animals' pain and that she can't be as strong as Kara or Adriane or whatever. :P
So Emily starts hearing this weird music and seeing a creepy looking face everywhere she goes, and she even passes out at a Stonehill football game.
The Three Musketeers go back to Ravenswood to heal a bunch of animals. Emily "senses" that there might be another hurt animal out in the woods, so she goes out looking for it with Ozzie and Storm. While she's gone, Kara and Adriane contact Zach, who informs them that the creature Emily is seeking might POSSIBLY be evil. Like, super evil. Uh oh.
Everyone is pretty much convinced the creature is evil, seeing as it blows up half the woods, but Emily believes "it's heart is pure" or something.
She does eventually find the magical beastie...and...it...is...a...UNICORN! No duh, you could probably tell from the cover. The unicorn's name is Lorelei and she seems to be missing her horn. She and Emily become soul mates.
Then a lumpy purple froglike thing named Ghyll appears and tells everyone that Lorelei is evil for sure.
Actually, NOTHING important happens in this book at all. Lorelei crashes a football game, she tells Emily of her painful past, they cry a lot.
Oh, and it was Lorelei's job to take care of the magic web, because that's what unicorns do, but the Dark Sorceress took her horn, so she slacked off. Typical. Blame Sorceress.
Then a harpy (some evil magical creature, don't know nor care what they are) comes and takes Lorelei away. Because he's looking for Avalon, the home of all magic, and only Lorelei knows how to get there.
Emily gets her friends to follow her into the portal, where harpy and uni have gone, and they all band together and pwn him, then send him through some random portal into an unknown world. Lol, wouldn't it suck if they happened to send him accidentally into Avalon?
So Lorelei gives Emily her horn and explains that a unicorn's horn can only be properly used when it has been freely given. Laaame. They repair the magic web together as a family. Then the mages repair the dreamcatcher (though they gave no reason why they were doing it the entire book!) with strands from the magic web.
All is well.
More notes:
Emily dreams about dancing.
Emily's in jazz band!! Or she was....
Aaargh, her dad is a saxophonist, too. Practically everyone in my family plays saxophone. DOWN WITH THE SAXOPHONE!
"Follow the music, Em. Don't be afraid to really feel it."
Oooh. Deep.
Everything Carolyn says is super condescending. DO NOT LIKE HER. Oh, and I like how she never seems to do anything but Emily practically runs Pet Palace.
She brings her dogs to a football game?? STUPID! Personal experience tells me this is a BAD idea.
"Maybe bringing her Pet Palace clients to the football game hadn't been such a hot idea after all."
Uh...yeah.
Marcus so likes Emily!!!! It's really adorable.
And Joey is super obvious about liking Adriane. "So, um, where's Adriane?"
"Marcus snickered. 'Dude, you are way too obvious.' He winked at Emily."
ROFL, said Marcus.
Emily is all oversensitive to music all of a sudden and assumes it's magic. Oooor you have Lyme Disease.
"She could see why Kara liked this boy; he had such deep blue eyes, full of compassion."
Why she goes for that fish boy is beyond me. Awww, Marcus was carrying her, too. Sooo cute....
Seriously, Emily and Marcus should get married and have like 6 kids.
Adriane always seems to have baby quiffles poking out of her vest pockets.
Adriane: I think we should contact Zach.
Kara: Need a last minute date to the harvest dance?
"'Show us where Zach is,' Adriane said, picturing the boy's handsome face and warm smile, the way his eyes danced."
If only Kara and Emily could read her mind....
"'How's the drake?' she asked, referring to the baby dragon Zach was helping to raise on Aldenmor."
"Helping" to raise? If I'm not mistaken, you left him alone on Aldenmor with Drake, and you are definitely not helping and PROBABLY not paying child support!
Zach: Adriane, I'm real glad to see you.
Adriane: Me, too.
Zach: I-
Adriane: Me, too.
He was so going to say, "I love you." Weird. They're only 13.
"Mistwolves fear nothing. Not even basilisks." Cuz all mistwolves are wimps and turn into mist and run rather than fight.
Ghyll the flobbin is looking for magic blobs. Right. I guess the author couldn't think of a better name.
Ozzie is even more annoying than usual in this book. He says, "Gah!" and kicks things a lot.
Okay, the first time Emily sees Lorelei, she's all, "That's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," and on the next page, she's like, "Lorelei would be beautiful if she wasn't covered in Black Fire." ??? But you just said....
Ozzie makes a mess in Pet Palace and Carolyn blames Emily and I guess took some extra condescending pills, because it gets super ugly.
Daaaang, it turns out Emily was hiding some anger about her parent's (or would it be parents') divorce and explodes.
Emily: Adapt? You're telling me to adapt? What about you? First you tell me to go out and make friends. Then you tell me to stay home more. Meanwhile you don't even try to adapt. You just work all the time and pretend everything's all fine and dandy. Don't tell me it's not true! I'm not stupid. What are you doing right now? It's Sunday, you know. Most vets take a day off once in a while. When was the last time you took a day off?
Carolyn: Lower your voice, Emily. And try to understand, I'm so busy-
Emily: Yeah, like you were so busy back in Colorado that you let your family fall apart! That's the reason we're here - that's why I have to worry about adapting - because you couldn't make things work with Daddy, so my whole life go ruined! I had to leave my olds friends, my old school, everything, and move to a whole new state! Ravenswood is the only really good thing that's happened to me here, and now you want to take it away from me! I'll be at Ravenswood, where I'm really needed.
:O I'm in shock. How about you?
Wait. Was there a custody battle? Did Carolyn win? And if not, why didn't Emily just decide to live with her dad?
Aaaargh, more wise words from the Native American grandma. Mostly nonsense proverbs that don't mean anything.
They try to rebuild the dreamcatcher with spaghetti.
They tell Kara to use her pink shoelaces. Why can't you use your own shoelaces?
Ew, Ghyll has a crush on Kara and there's a "funny" ongoing joke about him wanting to be kissed by a princess so he can become a prince.
"The band audition had been easy, since Emily could read music and had her own flute." Sometimes I think that's purely what they base band auditions on.
Lorelei runs onto the football field and Adriane takes out some football players to protect her. Um...whaat? Dang, Adriane.
Lorelei attacks the Evanston Eagle mascot.
Lol, Kara manages to convince everyone that Lorelei is the new mascot: The Stonehill Unicorns!! Jealous, I wish my mascot was the unicorns, though we'd probably be laughed out of the district.
Emily sings this song to Lorelei. It's like something out of "Tarzan":
Look into my eyes
Know that you can trust me
Listen to the sound
I'll always be around
Hear my words
Feel the magic in them
In friendship we are bound
I'll always be around
You and me
It's meant to be
We'll always be
Friends forever
Emily repeats herself a lot.
"Especially after what Zach told us!!??"
Um, Zach is a horny 13-year-old boy living in a magical world where he is the single parent of a baby dragon.
Lol. Kara is my BFF pretty much.
Emily plays flute...Adriane plays guitar...Kara wants to sing...they should form a band!! Foreshadowing, actually.
Hm, a creepy woman is trying to shut down Ravenswood...we need to put on a benefit concert! Seriously, I never would have come up with that.
Waaait...the Dark Sorceress captured Lorelei and cut off her horn...and Lorelei's all, "Oh no, the web is broken, all my fault." Um, not if they took your horn.
When in doubt, start singing.
Oh no, Ghyll is working for the sorceress! Ozzie kicks him a lot. It makes you feel sorry for Ghyll.
"It looks like the harpy is using Lorelei's magic to reweave the web, to make a new pathway from the connecting portals here."
Isn't that a good thing??
Because Kara sucks at singing, she can break the harpy's spell and save us all!
"Your horn may focus your magic, like our jewels. But the real magic is inside of you. Right here." In your heart.
AAARGH!! *gagging gagging*
Wait, Lorelei takes the harpy to Avalon supposedly, and that's considered noble?
Oh, she purposefully took them into the wrong portal!!! Silly unicorn!
"The magic of a unicorn can only be used when it is freely given. That is our secret."
Well, it's not a secret anymore. Way to sound like a Hallmark movie.
Ew, Kara kisses Ghyll and he turns into a purple lizard man...also known as a spriggle!
Adriane: What are going to do with the horn?
Kara: *eyes greedily*
Adriane: No, you can't wear it.
Lol, pwned.
Yay, a mother-daughter moment between Carolyn and Emily. All is forgiven.
Mischief implies abuse, or Pony Pals #30: Pony-4-Sale
Yay, I finished my 2007 playlist! This isn't the most flattering picture of Pam. It's as if they WANTED her to look like a pig. Cloud looks fake. No pony is that skinny.
Plot: Pam and Lightning are riding around, as usual, when she stumbles across a birthday party featuring Maggie the Magician. Since it's obviously none of her business, she goes to check it out. What she sees is a very mean magician and a very neglected pony. She finds out from Maggie that Cloud, the pony, will soon be sold for the meat price if no one else buys him.
Instead of calling PETA or the Humane Society or any other animal rights organization like a normal person, Pam calls on the Pony Pals and they send Anna, who is "the best actress", to pretend like she is interested in buying Cloud, in order to lengthen his life. Then they all go back to Pam's house and write a letter to Mr. O'Connor, the Irish guy who owns Echo Farms, asking about Cloud.
Next, they send Lulu, who finds out that Cloud is a Connemara (just like Lightning), was originally from Echo Farm (where Lightning is also from), and throws his riders; she finds this last part out from experience, however, as Pam convinces her to ride Cloud and the skinny little nag throws her. This makes Lulu furious at Pam for letting her ride a "dangerous animal", who insists Lulu is just a bad rider.
Uh oh. It seems the Pony Pals are having a fight.
Finally, Lulu flees when Pam refuses to apologize.
Hark! A reply from Mr. O'Connor! He says he doesn't remember Maggie the Musician, but he does remember selling Cloud to a boy named Sandy Young, including in the e-mail Sandy's new phone number. What a coincidence, he lives in Wiggins!
Instead of calling, they ask Dr. Crandal if he ever had a patient named Cloud. No go.
Pam complains a lot about Lulu and insists that "if she really cared about Pony Pal problems, she'd be there".
Lulu does come back, armed with several good ideas of how to find Sandy. She and Pam continue to ignore each other, making Anna increasingly anxious. Finally, Anna explodes and tells the two of them that their fight is stupid and that they should get over themselves. Pam apologizes...after Lulu does. Loser.
They use a cool little trick on the internet to find Sandy's house, ride on over there, and tell him about his old pony. Sandy flips out, grabs some money from the bank, and promptly buys Cloud back from Maggie the Magician. His mother scolds Maggie for being abusive. The Pony Pals conclude that they will be friends forever. The Pony Pals, not Maggie and Mrs. Young.
More notes:
Maggie: What do we say to make magic happen?
Children: Ab-ra-ca-da-bra and wow-wow kaaa-zoo!
Even as a child, I'd have a hard time believing that.
Maggie makes a bird fly out of her hat. Pam is all, "That's not very nice for the bird." Suck it up, Pam.
:O Maggie squirts Cloud with water! ABUSE! ABUSE!
The twins are still 5??
Pam bursts into tears when she hears Maggie's plan to sell Cloud.
THEY'RE HAVING GRILLED-CHEESE SANDWHICHES AGAIN!!! I swear, that's all they eat! Spaghetti, grilled-cheese, and brownies! Actually, that's all I ever eat, so hey.
They think Anna is the best actress. And yet her pony starred in a movie, not her.
"'Okay,' agreed Anna. 'How's this?' Anna put on a sweet smile. 'Hello, Ms. Sullivan. My mommy and daddy said I could have a pony. I heard you have a pony for sale. Can I see it?'"
Yeah, that's believable.
This is how Pam and Anna became friends:
Pam: You can ride my pony. My mommy can teach you how.
They've been together ever since.
It's like there are only 4 pony breeds: Connemaras, Shetlands, Welsh ponies, and Morgans, even though MORGANS AREN'T PONIES!
What a coincidence, Lightning and Cloud are from the same place! Because there's only one place to get Connemaras, didn't you know?
Omg. Guess what they're having at Pam's house for dinner.
Spaghetti
and
meatballs.
Lulu asks Mrs. Crandal if she'd be interested in buying Cloud. The Pony Pals get mad because she "broke a Pony Pal rule". The following ensues.
Pam: Why did you ask my mother to buy Cloud?
Lulu: I thought it was a good idea.
Anna: You should have talked to Pam and me about it first. It's a Pony Pal rule.
First of all, it's "Pam and I", and that's a stupid rule. "I'm going to the bathroom, guys." "No, I think it would be best if you didn't." "But I need to." "Oh dear, this calls for 3 ideas." Please continue.
Pam: You asked her at the worst time. My mother needs someone to take care of ponies, not another pony to take care of.
Lulu: It's not big deal. She said no.
Yaay Lulu.
Pam is still all, "BREAKING A PONY PAL RULE IS A BIG DEAL!!!"
Aargh, just call PETA!!!! What's with this sneaking around???
Cloud throws Lulu while Pam screams from the sidelines, "REIN HIM IN! REIN HIM IN!"
You suck, Pam.
Maggie: You pulled too hard on his mouth. Maybe you haven't ridden so much, after all.
Pam: She hasn't.
Omg, Pam is way awful!!!
Lulu: Pam should know if a pony is safe to ride. I trusted her.
Pam: And I trusted that you know how to ride.
Lulu: You're so smart about ponies. You knew it was dangerous for me to tget on Cloud and you let me do it! You care more about solving Pony Pal problems than you do about your Pony Pals.
So true. You've hit the nail on the proverbial head, Lulu. Pam's weak response:
Pam: Maybe you did pull too hard on his mouth!
Anna's not too helpful, either.
"This Pony Pal problem is more important than your little fight."
Cult behavior. This is classic cult behavior.
Lame. "A woman came out leading a Great Dane. She looked like she'd been crying. She smiled at Pam. 'Your father saved my Mitzy's life,' said the woman."
I can just see Dr. Crandal being all, "All in a day's work."
So stalker. Let's go to his house instead of calling him!!
Pam apologizes for being stupid...and Lulu apologizes for breaking a Pony Pal rule. If she hadn't, they probably would've flogged her. I don't think she should've apologized. Lulu, not Pam. I'm actually on her side for once.
Sandy used to live on a farm, but they had to sell it because it wasn't making enough money. That sounds JUST like the movie Acorn and Bette Fleming were in..."Megan's Last Ride" or whatever.
He had a cat named Toots..........
Ew, Sandy looks like Johnathan Taylor Thomas.
Pam prides herself in being a professional detective. Sandy OBVIOUSLY hasn't done much detective work. Whatever.
They go back to the diner...and eat some brownies.
Wait a minute...Sandy wants to buy Cloud back...but he lives in an APARTMENT. And if his parents are really as poor as he says, why did they give him the money they made from selling Cloud??
Anna fixes that problem. It's sort of a bribe, too: Sandy will work for Mrs. Crandal in exchange for boarding Cloud. Nice.
WHAT IS WITH PEOPLE AND RIDING??
Anna: What if Maggie has ruined Cloud for riding? What if he never lets you ride him again?
Sandy: I don't care. I still want to save Cloud.
Well, DUH! It's not like you would be, "Oh, in that case, let's just let him DIE!"
"Sandy kissed Cloud's cheek. Cloud pulled away from him.
'Touch him someplace else,' Pam told Sandy."
:O
Whaaat? Ponies have wolf teeth? Confused. I'm looking that up.
Lulu: And we can make Cloud a warm mash. We'll make it extra soft and delicious.
That struck me as hilariously funny.
"'Lightning and Cloud are friends forever,' Lulu whispered in Pam's ear. 'Just like us.'"
Even after your fight? And Pam's controlling behavior? And the FLOGGING?
An Avalon about unicorns is next...on Kid's WB. Only it's not the WB anymore. It's my Q2, or whatever.
Plot: Pam and Lightning are riding around, as usual, when she stumbles across a birthday party featuring Maggie the Magician. Since it's obviously none of her business, she goes to check it out. What she sees is a very mean magician and a very neglected pony. She finds out from Maggie that Cloud, the pony, will soon be sold for the meat price if no one else buys him.
Instead of calling PETA or the Humane Society or any other animal rights organization like a normal person, Pam calls on the Pony Pals and they send Anna, who is "the best actress", to pretend like she is interested in buying Cloud, in order to lengthen his life. Then they all go back to Pam's house and write a letter to Mr. O'Connor, the Irish guy who owns Echo Farms, asking about Cloud.
Next, they send Lulu, who finds out that Cloud is a Connemara (just like Lightning), was originally from Echo Farm (where Lightning is also from), and throws his riders; she finds this last part out from experience, however, as Pam convinces her to ride Cloud and the skinny little nag throws her. This makes Lulu furious at Pam for letting her ride a "dangerous animal", who insists Lulu is just a bad rider.
Uh oh. It seems the Pony Pals are having a fight.
Finally, Lulu flees when Pam refuses to apologize.
Hark! A reply from Mr. O'Connor! He says he doesn't remember Maggie the Musician, but he does remember selling Cloud to a boy named Sandy Young, including in the e-mail Sandy's new phone number. What a coincidence, he lives in Wiggins!
Instead of calling, they ask Dr. Crandal if he ever had a patient named Cloud. No go.
Pam complains a lot about Lulu and insists that "if she really cared about Pony Pal problems, she'd be there".
Lulu does come back, armed with several good ideas of how to find Sandy. She and Pam continue to ignore each other, making Anna increasingly anxious. Finally, Anna explodes and tells the two of them that their fight is stupid and that they should get over themselves. Pam apologizes...after Lulu does. Loser.
They use a cool little trick on the internet to find Sandy's house, ride on over there, and tell him about his old pony. Sandy flips out, grabs some money from the bank, and promptly buys Cloud back from Maggie the Magician. His mother scolds Maggie for being abusive. The Pony Pals conclude that they will be friends forever. The Pony Pals, not Maggie and Mrs. Young.
More notes:
Maggie: What do we say to make magic happen?
Children: Ab-ra-ca-da-bra and wow-wow kaaa-zoo!
Even as a child, I'd have a hard time believing that.
Maggie makes a bird fly out of her hat. Pam is all, "That's not very nice for the bird." Suck it up, Pam.
:O Maggie squirts Cloud with water! ABUSE! ABUSE!
The twins are still 5??
Pam bursts into tears when she hears Maggie's plan to sell Cloud.
THEY'RE HAVING GRILLED-CHEESE SANDWHICHES AGAIN!!! I swear, that's all they eat! Spaghetti, grilled-cheese, and brownies! Actually, that's all I ever eat, so hey.
They think Anna is the best actress. And yet her pony starred in a movie, not her.
"'Okay,' agreed Anna. 'How's this?' Anna put on a sweet smile. 'Hello, Ms. Sullivan. My mommy and daddy said I could have a pony. I heard you have a pony for sale. Can I see it?'"
Yeah, that's believable.
This is how Pam and Anna became friends:
Pam: You can ride my pony. My mommy can teach you how.
They've been together ever since.
It's like there are only 4 pony breeds: Connemaras, Shetlands, Welsh ponies, and Morgans, even though MORGANS AREN'T PONIES!
What a coincidence, Lightning and Cloud are from the same place! Because there's only one place to get Connemaras, didn't you know?
Omg. Guess what they're having at Pam's house for dinner.
Spaghetti
and
meatballs.
Lulu asks Mrs. Crandal if she'd be interested in buying Cloud. The Pony Pals get mad because she "broke a Pony Pal rule". The following ensues.
Pam: Why did you ask my mother to buy Cloud?
Lulu: I thought it was a good idea.
Anna: You should have talked to Pam and me about it first. It's a Pony Pal rule.
First of all, it's "Pam and I", and that's a stupid rule. "I'm going to the bathroom, guys." "No, I think it would be best if you didn't." "But I need to." "Oh dear, this calls for 3 ideas." Please continue.
Pam: You asked her at the worst time. My mother needs someone to take care of ponies, not another pony to take care of.
Lulu: It's not big deal. She said no.
Yaay Lulu.
Pam is still all, "BREAKING A PONY PAL RULE IS A BIG DEAL!!!"
Aargh, just call PETA!!!! What's with this sneaking around???
Cloud throws Lulu while Pam screams from the sidelines, "REIN HIM IN! REIN HIM IN!"
You suck, Pam.
Maggie: You pulled too hard on his mouth. Maybe you haven't ridden so much, after all.
Pam: She hasn't.
Omg, Pam is way awful!!!
Lulu: Pam should know if a pony is safe to ride. I trusted her.
Pam: And I trusted that you know how to ride.
Lulu: You're so smart about ponies. You knew it was dangerous for me to tget on Cloud and you let me do it! You care more about solving Pony Pal problems than you do about your Pony Pals.
So true. You've hit the nail on the proverbial head, Lulu. Pam's weak response:
Pam: Maybe you did pull too hard on his mouth!
Anna's not too helpful, either.
"This Pony Pal problem is more important than your little fight."
Cult behavior. This is classic cult behavior.
Lame. "A woman came out leading a Great Dane. She looked like she'd been crying. She smiled at Pam. 'Your father saved my Mitzy's life,' said the woman."
I can just see Dr. Crandal being all, "All in a day's work."
So stalker. Let's go to his house instead of calling him!!
Pam apologizes for being stupid...and Lulu apologizes for breaking a Pony Pal rule. If she hadn't, they probably would've flogged her. I don't think she should've apologized. Lulu, not Pam. I'm actually on her side for once.
Sandy used to live on a farm, but they had to sell it because it wasn't making enough money. That sounds JUST like the movie Acorn and Bette Fleming were in..."Megan's Last Ride" or whatever.
He had a cat named Toots..........
Ew, Sandy looks like Johnathan Taylor Thomas.
Pam prides herself in being a professional detective. Sandy OBVIOUSLY hasn't done much detective work. Whatever.
They go back to the diner...and eat some brownies.
Wait a minute...Sandy wants to buy Cloud back...but he lives in an APARTMENT. And if his parents are really as poor as he says, why did they give him the money they made from selling Cloud??
Anna fixes that problem. It's sort of a bribe, too: Sandy will work for Mrs. Crandal in exchange for boarding Cloud. Nice.
WHAT IS WITH PEOPLE AND RIDING??
Anna: What if Maggie has ruined Cloud for riding? What if he never lets you ride him again?
Sandy: I don't care. I still want to save Cloud.
Well, DUH! It's not like you would be, "Oh, in that case, let's just let him DIE!"
"Sandy kissed Cloud's cheek. Cloud pulled away from him.
'Touch him someplace else,' Pam told Sandy."
:O
Whaaat? Ponies have wolf teeth? Confused. I'm looking that up.
Lulu: And we can make Cloud a warm mash. We'll make it extra soft and delicious.
That struck me as hilariously funny.
"'Lightning and Cloud are friends forever,' Lulu whispered in Pam's ear. 'Just like us.'"
Even after your fight? And Pam's controlling behavior? And the FLOGGING?
An Avalon about unicorns is next...on Kid's WB. Only it's not the WB anymore. It's my Q2, or whatever.
Friday, December 28, 2007
There's no such thing as a sad ending, or Horseshoe Trilogies #3: Sweet Charity
We're finally done with this series. I'm thinking of making a collage of all the series I've posted on this blog. Lol.
Plot: Josie doesn't want to sell Charity, her specialist most favorite horse, but she has no choice. Now, to add more stress, the Graces have to find a new home.
So Josie is all emo about Charity the ENTIRE TIME. The Taylor family and their daughter Emily are pretty interested in buying her (why is it that no boys ever want to buy a horse??), which makes Josie uber jealous.
Then, one night, Charity disappears, along with all her tack! *gasp* SHE'S BEEN STOLEN!
And we know who the culprit is. Kirsty, a creepy little girl who loves Charity a little TOO much, apparently did it to help Josie?? Whatever.
So Josie goes looking for them and finds them in the boathouse, but then Kirsty has an asthma attack and somehow falls into the river. Josie goes to save her, and they're both about to drown, but Charity saves them both.
Um, yay.
So now that that's all over, Josie's parents start hinting that they've found a NEW OWNER for Charity and she's the BEST OWNER they could find. Josie can't figure it out, but then they tell her that Charity is HERS. Because her dad got a new job and now is uber rich and their new house has a field where they can keep a horse. LAAAAAME.
More notes:
Josie often has odd fantasies involving Charity and herself.... THEY'RE ABOUT RIDING!!! Sickos.
Oh, and in the fantasy, she saves a young man who's broken his leg, and his grandmother lets Charity stay for free in their stables.
Whaaaat? Looking at this cover, Charity doesn't even look CLOSE to flea-bitten. As in the color, not the state.
Josie invites Kirsty over to her house, and then is all, "OMG, SHE'S SO CREEPY AND SHE GETS ON MY NERVES!" Then WHY'D you invite her to your house?
Anna thinks Kirsty is creepy, too. Why? Does she murder animals or play with voodoo dolls?
"'No!' Kirsty said. 'I won't let them take her away from you!'"
Okay...THAT's creepy.
Okay, her parents are sort of poorish, so they're settling on a townhouse with a small backyard, and Josie's all complaining. "THIS ISN'T THE BEST HOUSE!! HOW WILL WE KEEP THE DUCKS AND CHICKENS??" You won't...because you're POOR.
Foreshadowing of the boathouse incident, and how unstable it is....
"They've got an older boy who's had a horse for a while, and now they want a horse for his younger sister. She's been having riding lessons for ages."
Hmm...sounds familiar. What do you know, she has brown hair and freckles!
Oh, if you smile shyly, you must be a nice person.
Josie storms into the house and starts yelling at her dad.
I love how her mom is so blunt and realistic.
"There are three bedrooms, but one of them is tiny, and the kitchen's not enormous, either."
"That doesn't bother me. You know how I feel about cooking."
Um, yeah, but your husband LOVES to cook. Why don't you ask him how HE feels?
Josie and Anna find a field with horses right next to the new house.
Josie: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Me: That there are horses there to take your mind off Charity?
Anna: Oooh! Charity could stay with those horses!
Me: ....
Um, duh, horses are EXPENSIVE.
Ah yes, let's lie and say that Charity has an awful disease.
Oh no, Charity's not in the field! Well, gee, MAYBE SHE'S IN THE BARN!
I'm trying to imagine the damage Josie could do to a potential horse thief.
Anna, Ben, and Josie are being detectives like the Pony Pals.
The thief knew where the key was.... Hm, MAYBE THEY'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE?
Oh, and Kirsty Fisher happens to be missing. What a coincidence.
Argh! Now that they know it's Kirsty, they're like, "Oh, she didn't mean to hurt us, it's all right." Yeah, but she stole your property. Doesn't that mean anything to you?
They didn't get any phonecalls from Mrs. Fisher...and it's Josie's fault.
"I've got a feeling she was trying to help me." Yeah, in a messed up against-the-law way.
Oh, and it turns out Kirsty is asthmatic. Just to add to the drama.
Why would you look for a girl on horseback with bikes? Wouldn't you also use horses?
Yeah, duh, use Faith.
Gotcha, Anna and Ben's dad is Spanish. Makes sense.
Faith, like Acorn, is a good detective.
Kirsty's inhaler reminded me of how my brother used to use an inhaler for allergies.
"No one's angry at you, Kirsty." I am.
Argh, she has a serious asthma attack. Just like in "Are We There Yet?".
Josie tries to throw the inhaler to her...and misses by TWO FEET. Nice throw.
Kirsty falls into the river. Wow.
Smart, go after her. Now you'll both drown, although what else could you do?
Charity saves them. This would be a good episode of "Miracle Pets".
Should I call the police first, or my parents? Police, police! She calls her parents.
Anna: I called the farmer who owns the field, but he says someone already asked him to keep a space for a horse!
Josie: Darn.
Me: ....
"My own sweet Charity. Now nothing's going to take her away from me!"
Except for possibly death and disease.
So yeah. A really awful Pony Pals tomorrow. Yaay, haven't done one of those in a while.
Plot: Josie doesn't want to sell Charity, her specialist most favorite horse, but she has no choice. Now, to add more stress, the Graces have to find a new home.
So Josie is all emo about Charity the ENTIRE TIME. The Taylor family and their daughter Emily are pretty interested in buying her (why is it that no boys ever want to buy a horse??), which makes Josie uber jealous.
Then, one night, Charity disappears, along with all her tack! *gasp* SHE'S BEEN STOLEN!
And we know who the culprit is. Kirsty, a creepy little girl who loves Charity a little TOO much, apparently did it to help Josie?? Whatever.
So Josie goes looking for them and finds them in the boathouse, but then Kirsty has an asthma attack and somehow falls into the river. Josie goes to save her, and they're both about to drown, but Charity saves them both.
Um, yay.
So now that that's all over, Josie's parents start hinting that they've found a NEW OWNER for Charity and she's the BEST OWNER they could find. Josie can't figure it out, but then they tell her that Charity is HERS. Because her dad got a new job and now is uber rich and their new house has a field where they can keep a horse. LAAAAAME.
More notes:
Josie often has odd fantasies involving Charity and herself.... THEY'RE ABOUT RIDING!!! Sickos.
Oh, and in the fantasy, she saves a young man who's broken his leg, and his grandmother lets Charity stay for free in their stables.
Whaaaat? Looking at this cover, Charity doesn't even look CLOSE to flea-bitten. As in the color, not the state.
Josie invites Kirsty over to her house, and then is all, "OMG, SHE'S SO CREEPY AND SHE GETS ON MY NERVES!" Then WHY'D you invite her to your house?
Anna thinks Kirsty is creepy, too. Why? Does she murder animals or play with voodoo dolls?
"'No!' Kirsty said. 'I won't let them take her away from you!'"
Okay...THAT's creepy.
Okay, her parents are sort of poorish, so they're settling on a townhouse with a small backyard, and Josie's all complaining. "THIS ISN'T THE BEST HOUSE!! HOW WILL WE KEEP THE DUCKS AND CHICKENS??" You won't...because you're POOR.
Foreshadowing of the boathouse incident, and how unstable it is....
"They've got an older boy who's had a horse for a while, and now they want a horse for his younger sister. She's been having riding lessons for ages."
Hmm...sounds familiar. What do you know, she has brown hair and freckles!
Oh, if you smile shyly, you must be a nice person.
Josie storms into the house and starts yelling at her dad.
I love how her mom is so blunt and realistic.
"There are three bedrooms, but one of them is tiny, and the kitchen's not enormous, either."
"That doesn't bother me. You know how I feel about cooking."
Um, yeah, but your husband LOVES to cook. Why don't you ask him how HE feels?
Josie and Anna find a field with horses right next to the new house.
Josie: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Me: That there are horses there to take your mind off Charity?
Anna: Oooh! Charity could stay with those horses!
Me: ....
Um, duh, horses are EXPENSIVE.
Ah yes, let's lie and say that Charity has an awful disease.
Oh no, Charity's not in the field! Well, gee, MAYBE SHE'S IN THE BARN!
I'm trying to imagine the damage Josie could do to a potential horse thief.
Anna, Ben, and Josie are being detectives like the Pony Pals.
The thief knew where the key was.... Hm, MAYBE THEY'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE?
Oh, and Kirsty Fisher happens to be missing. What a coincidence.
Argh! Now that they know it's Kirsty, they're like, "Oh, she didn't mean to hurt us, it's all right." Yeah, but she stole your property. Doesn't that mean anything to you?
They didn't get any phonecalls from Mrs. Fisher...and it's Josie's fault.
"I've got a feeling she was trying to help me." Yeah, in a messed up against-the-law way.
Oh, and it turns out Kirsty is asthmatic. Just to add to the drama.
Why would you look for a girl on horseback with bikes? Wouldn't you also use horses?
Yeah, duh, use Faith.
Gotcha, Anna and Ben's dad is Spanish. Makes sense.
Faith, like Acorn, is a good detective.
Kirsty's inhaler reminded me of how my brother used to use an inhaler for allergies.
"No one's angry at you, Kirsty." I am.
Argh, she has a serious asthma attack. Just like in "Are We There Yet?".
Josie tries to throw the inhaler to her...and misses by TWO FEET. Nice throw.
Kirsty falls into the river. Wow.
Smart, go after her. Now you'll both drown, although what else could you do?
Charity saves them. This would be a good episode of "Miracle Pets".
Should I call the police first, or my parents? Police, police! She calls her parents.
Anna: I called the farmer who owns the field, but he says someone already asked him to keep a space for a horse!
Josie: Darn.
Me: ....
"My own sweet Charity. Now nothing's going to take her away from me!"
Except for possibly death and disease.
So yeah. A really awful Pony Pals tomorrow. Yaay, haven't done one of those in a while.
Monday, December 24, 2007
All the beautiful women in the world are skeletons, or FTFO Madison Finn #8: Picture Perfect
Say what? A positive teenage fiction novel about the lies the media tells us about how we should look and act? Sounds like fun.
Plot: Madison, Aimee, and Fiona are chilling in Fiona's bedroom listening to the radio when they get the chance to win Nikki concert tickets and backstage passes!! Nikki is apparently the Madison Finn version of Britney Spears (before K-Fed and sluttiness), so the girls call in...AND WIN!!
Only Fiona's mom won't let them go. Bummer!
So the girls are sad, until they realize all they need is a mature chaperone. They start looking for one immediately.
Back at school, there's a new girl named Carmen who's very pretty and makes Madison feel like dirt and seems to be seducing Hart!!! Owned.
Also, Aimee is acting very weird...as in moody and sensitive about body image. Madison and Fiona think she has anorexia, but no one takes them seriously - not even Aimee's mom!!
Luckily, the girls manage to land Roger Gillespie, Aimee's creepy older brother, as a chaperone.
Oh no, Aimee faints due to lack of food!!! She has to go to the hospital!! Turns out Madison and Fiona were right after all! However, Roger is pretty mad at Aimee for almost giving herself an eating disorder, so he refuses to chaperone.
Okay, I don't get that. It's fine to be mad at Aimee, or not let her go to the concert or something, but why punish all three girls for your moron sister's mistake? Jerk.
Worst of all: POISON IVY IS GOING TO THE CONCERT! Figures... And she has really good seats because her daddy knew some important people... Um, stereotype much? Her older sister Janet is taking her.
With this bit of information, Madison convinces Aimee's second oldest brother Dean into taking them, because Dean has it bad for Janet.
They go to the concert. It's pretty great. Only when they go backstage, they find out Nikki is faker than fake. And she has acne. Which apparently means you're a horrible person.
So Madison learns that pretty people aren't as nice as we think they are, anorexia is bad, and Carmen is actually a pretty nice person.
More notes:
Thank you, Fiona. "Maddie! You guys need a reality check! She is not perfect. My dad told me that there are artists who airbrush pictures of celebrities like Nikki so that they look perfect. No one is that perfect."
Omg, Aimee is the worst friend ever. "Maddie! How can you eat cookies? You just said you wished you were more like Nikki. Do you think she eats cookies all day? You can't eat that stuff if you want people to notice you."
"What are you talking about? What people?"
"People at school. You know. Guys. Everyone."
Lol. And Madison's all, "But I like cookies." Amen.
What kind of name is Stevie Steves?
Aimee CONSTANTLY forgets that she has 4 brothers: Roger, Dean, Doug, and Billy.
"So, you're there with friends? Either that or we've got some very large mice in the background." AAAAH, Corny Collins creepy!
Omg, I remember my first concert when I was 12, too! It was a Jump5/Zoegirl concert, but it was pretty sweet.
:O Madison gets an e-mail entitled, "Magic! Never Feel Fat Again!" I bet Aimee sent it to her.
Bigwheels is in math club. Lol. Cool.
Okay, whatever, these girls have never heard of Bob Dylan.
Um, what?? They need a chaperone, but refuse to have one of their parents come. Okay, then, girls, you're pretty much screwed.
Argh, junior high boys. "Nikki's cute." "No, Nikki is superhot. There's a difference."
Hm, Ivy's going to a concert the same weekend as you. I wonder what concert it could be....
Don't chaperones need to be 18?
This is why Madison thinks Carmen is rude:
Madison: Do you like Nikki?
Carmen: Not really.
Madison: Oh. How come? I think she's the coolest-
Carmen: She's okay.
Madison: Oh.
And Carmen probably thinks you're a freak.
WHY WOULD YOU BUY A NEW OUTFIT FOR A CONCERT?? I'd probably just wear what I always wear. If I REALLY wanted to dress up, I'd wear a T-shirt with an ironic statement and some nice jeans.
Oh no, Madison gets a megazit!
This is how Fiona introduces herself:
"I'm Fiona Waters and I like animals very much. I always wanted a puppy."
Whaaat? It says that Aimee had gotten her period "the year before". What? She was in 7th grade then and she still is now!
Okay, Aimee is looking scary skinny, but Madison's all, "We shouldn't say something. She'll just get weird on us. She'll get all defensive. I think if she wants to look that way, she should." Yeaaah. I think if she WANTS to die, she SHOULD.
"My aunt Meg would be so perfect. She dresses so hip."
Who says that??
Dude, I REALLY hate Aimee. "What's that on your forehead? Did you get bit by a bug or something?"
But I do agree with her on singles that get overplayed.
"She wanted to pop it, but didn't. Having a hole in her face would be a far worse fate than having a volcano zit."
I'd actually rather have a hole in my face.
OH NO!! "For housework, Madison wore her scrubbiest clothes: an old bandanna wraped around her hair (which hadn't been washed now in two days), a goofy T-shirt with a rip in it, rainbow socks she'd had since fifth grade, and sweatpants that were two sizes too big and drooped down on her hips."
She answers the door while wearing this...
and it turns out to be Hart wondering if she wants to play baseball.
Um, wow.
Yeah, Aimee's just nervous. That explains her visible hipbones and bad attitude.
Ew, Mr. Finn's first concert was the Rolling Stones. McJagger was probably in his early 90's back then.
I seriously think having a pirate as your mascot is pretty lame.
Stephanie tells a story about acne in 7th grade. And how she was ridiculed by homeroom hottie Bobby MacPhee. Whatever, that name is worse than a bunch of acne.
Bigwheels is lame. "I wouldn't stress about your BFF. Aren't all dancers supposed to be really skinny?"
Hart is so lame!! He sends Madison this e-mail:
From: Sk8ingBoy
To: MadFinn
Subject: Class
Date: Sun 19 May 9:40 PM
Hey Finnster have u done that slef-portrait for art class yet? dont know whattodo for mine. Do we ned it for class 2morrow? I am gonna call Carmen about it. Write back soon. CYA L8R.
:O Why would you even SAY THAT??? "I'm going to call some other girl, but you should write me back anyways." And boys wonder why we get mad at them all the time.
"Madison was beginning to think maybe Drew liked her from the way he acted around her, all shy and sweet."
And SUPER STALKERY?? "Hey, Madison, I saw you walking home, so I decided to follow you! How are you, by the way? I made fudge!"
Egg: There's a really good shot of Fiona, actually.
Um...that sounded slightly perverted.
Fiona: I was in last period standing next to Aimee and she...she...collapsed.
Madison: What?
Drew: Like, onto the floor?
Um, Drew? DUH!
Heh. The school nurse is named Nurse Shim.
How does Aimee NOT have an eating disorder now? The doctor was all, "Oh, she was on her way down that path..."
So Roger won't chaperone and Aimee's all mad. Um, YOUR FAULT.
AAARGH! If you REALLY needed a chaperone, why would you refuse someone's offer, even if they were "uncool"?
Why would you ask your teacher?? That's very weird/creepy.
Ivy: What's your problem, Aimee? Hmmm...fainted lately?
:O That's so awful...but a much better comeback than, "Walk much?"
Fiona: Ivy is a cow. Mooooo!
Dean: Nikki stinks. She has a cute belly button, but I hate her music. She can't sing.
A CUTE BELLY BUTTON?? Do guys SERIOUSLY consider a CUTE BELLYBUTTON part of the criteria for whether or not a girl is hot?
"I've been trying to get a date with Janet Daly all year." Perv.
Carmen: Is that your picture for Mr. Duane?
Maidson: Yeah. I'm bringing it to Hart class. I mean art class.
ROFL.
Aimee: I am wearing those pink pants I bought at the mall last week, my Nikki T-shirt, and...this brand-new jean jacket with a big heart patch on the sleeve.
Um...cool.
"She didn't have time to chat with Mom now. There were far more important tasks to accomplish."
OMGEEZ, like finding the picture perfect outfit!!
Hmmm, Madison ends up wearing an orange kitty T-shirt and patchwork jeans. Better than pink pants and a hippie jacket....
Lol, she puts on body glitter.
Aaagh. I hate it when siblings fight in front of people. So awkward.
EWWW, Dean IS a perv!
Ivy: So, what are you three doing here?
Fiona: We won tickets on the radio.
Madison: Yeah, we won tickets in the front row. Imagine that?
Ivy: Yeah, right. Let me see.
Amy: Um, I don't think so. We have to be going now.
That's supposed to be a clever, biting response, but now Ivy probably thinks you're lying.
Lame. Nikki's tour is circus themed.
Ha. They end up sitting with Poison Ivy and Janet.
ROFL!! Nikki's opening number is "BEEEE my LUV ma-SHEEN." She has other songs entitled "Living on the Edge of Y-O-U" and "Download My Heart".
Man. Nikki's short. WHY IS EVERYONE IN HOLLYWOOD SHORT?
And Nikki's not a real blond.
Aimee: *bumps into Nikki*
Nikki: Um, excuse me. Do you mind?
Aimee: Oh, I'm sorry. Are you okay?
Nikki: Um, don't touch, 'kay?
All right then....
Fiona is "wicked disappointed".
"Her skin looked bumpy all over. Nikki had zits. Lots of zits."
Why does this make her a horrible person? I have bad acne, too, and I'd like to think I'm better than Nikki. Or Aimee.
EW, NIKKI STARTS HITTING ON DEAN! ILLEGAL MUCH?
OOOOWNED, he tells her her concert was LAME.
"Let's blow this Popsicle stand. Later for the plastic music queen."
Fiona doesn't know what digits are.
Laaame.
Madison: What do you think makes a girl pretty?
Dean: Pretty...I have no clue.
Aimee: Yeah you do. Is it a cool' do or nice eyes or smarts or what?
Dean: She has to be really nice.
Whatever.
Carmen turns out to be way nice. Awwww. Now she and Maddie are BFFs. I can totally relate; there are people I didn't really like in 7th or 8th grade that I'm really good friends with now.
Madison's Computer Tip:
E-mails and IM's are a great way to reach out for help and advice from friends - and get answers fast.
Thank you, Maddie.
Later on, I've got the last Horseshoe Trilogies book. Then a Pony Pals, and an Avalon tomorrow. Peace.
Plot: Madison, Aimee, and Fiona are chilling in Fiona's bedroom listening to the radio when they get the chance to win Nikki concert tickets and backstage passes!! Nikki is apparently the Madison Finn version of Britney Spears (before K-Fed and sluttiness), so the girls call in...AND WIN!!
Only Fiona's mom won't let them go. Bummer!
So the girls are sad, until they realize all they need is a mature chaperone. They start looking for one immediately.
Back at school, there's a new girl named Carmen who's very pretty and makes Madison feel like dirt and seems to be seducing Hart!!! Owned.
Also, Aimee is acting very weird...as in moody and sensitive about body image. Madison and Fiona think she has anorexia, but no one takes them seriously - not even Aimee's mom!!
Luckily, the girls manage to land Roger Gillespie, Aimee's creepy older brother, as a chaperone.
Oh no, Aimee faints due to lack of food!!! She has to go to the hospital!! Turns out Madison and Fiona were right after all! However, Roger is pretty mad at Aimee for almost giving herself an eating disorder, so he refuses to chaperone.
Okay, I don't get that. It's fine to be mad at Aimee, or not let her go to the concert or something, but why punish all three girls for your moron sister's mistake? Jerk.
Worst of all: POISON IVY IS GOING TO THE CONCERT! Figures... And she has really good seats because her daddy knew some important people... Um, stereotype much? Her older sister Janet is taking her.
With this bit of information, Madison convinces Aimee's second oldest brother Dean into taking them, because Dean has it bad for Janet.
They go to the concert. It's pretty great. Only when they go backstage, they find out Nikki is faker than fake. And she has acne. Which apparently means you're a horrible person.
So Madison learns that pretty people aren't as nice as we think they are, anorexia is bad, and Carmen is actually a pretty nice person.
More notes:
Thank you, Fiona. "Maddie! You guys need a reality check! She is not perfect. My dad told me that there are artists who airbrush pictures of celebrities like Nikki so that they look perfect. No one is that perfect."
Omg, Aimee is the worst friend ever. "Maddie! How can you eat cookies? You just said you wished you were more like Nikki. Do you think she eats cookies all day? You can't eat that stuff if you want people to notice you."
"What are you talking about? What people?"
"People at school. You know. Guys. Everyone."
Lol. And Madison's all, "But I like cookies." Amen.
What kind of name is Stevie Steves?
Aimee CONSTANTLY forgets that she has 4 brothers: Roger, Dean, Doug, and Billy.
"So, you're there with friends? Either that or we've got some very large mice in the background." AAAAH, Corny Collins creepy!
Omg, I remember my first concert when I was 12, too! It was a Jump5/Zoegirl concert, but it was pretty sweet.
:O Madison gets an e-mail entitled, "Magic! Never Feel Fat Again!" I bet Aimee sent it to her.
Bigwheels is in math club. Lol. Cool.
Okay, whatever, these girls have never heard of Bob Dylan.
Um, what?? They need a chaperone, but refuse to have one of their parents come. Okay, then, girls, you're pretty much screwed.
Argh, junior high boys. "Nikki's cute." "No, Nikki is superhot. There's a difference."
Hm, Ivy's going to a concert the same weekend as you. I wonder what concert it could be....
Don't chaperones need to be 18?
This is why Madison thinks Carmen is rude:
Madison: Do you like Nikki?
Carmen: Not really.
Madison: Oh. How come? I think she's the coolest-
Carmen: She's okay.
Madison: Oh.
And Carmen probably thinks you're a freak.
WHY WOULD YOU BUY A NEW OUTFIT FOR A CONCERT?? I'd probably just wear what I always wear. If I REALLY wanted to dress up, I'd wear a T-shirt with an ironic statement and some nice jeans.
Oh no, Madison gets a megazit!
This is how Fiona introduces herself:
"I'm Fiona Waters and I like animals very much. I always wanted a puppy."
Whaaat? It says that Aimee had gotten her period "the year before". What? She was in 7th grade then and she still is now!
Okay, Aimee is looking scary skinny, but Madison's all, "We shouldn't say something. She'll just get weird on us. She'll get all defensive. I think if she wants to look that way, she should." Yeaaah. I think if she WANTS to die, she SHOULD.
"My aunt Meg would be so perfect. She dresses so hip."
Who says that??
Dude, I REALLY hate Aimee. "What's that on your forehead? Did you get bit by a bug or something?"
But I do agree with her on singles that get overplayed.
"She wanted to pop it, but didn't. Having a hole in her face would be a far worse fate than having a volcano zit."
I'd actually rather have a hole in my face.
OH NO!! "For housework, Madison wore her scrubbiest clothes: an old bandanna wraped around her hair (which hadn't been washed now in two days), a goofy T-shirt with a rip in it, rainbow socks she'd had since fifth grade, and sweatpants that were two sizes too big and drooped down on her hips."
She answers the door while wearing this...
and it turns out to be Hart wondering if she wants to play baseball.
Um, wow.
Yeah, Aimee's just nervous. That explains her visible hipbones and bad attitude.
Ew, Mr. Finn's first concert was the Rolling Stones. McJagger was probably in his early 90's back then.
I seriously think having a pirate as your mascot is pretty lame.
Stephanie tells a story about acne in 7th grade. And how she was ridiculed by homeroom hottie Bobby MacPhee. Whatever, that name is worse than a bunch of acne.
Bigwheels is lame. "I wouldn't stress about your BFF. Aren't all dancers supposed to be really skinny?"
Hart is so lame!! He sends Madison this e-mail:
From: Sk8ingBoy
To: MadFinn
Subject: Class
Date: Sun 19 May 9:40 PM
Hey Finnster have u done that slef-portrait for art class yet? dont know whattodo for mine. Do we ned it for class 2morrow? I am gonna call Carmen about it. Write back soon. CYA L8R.
:O Why would you even SAY THAT??? "I'm going to call some other girl, but you should write me back anyways." And boys wonder why we get mad at them all the time.
"Madison was beginning to think maybe Drew liked her from the way he acted around her, all shy and sweet."
And SUPER STALKERY?? "Hey, Madison, I saw you walking home, so I decided to follow you! How are you, by the way? I made fudge!"
Egg: There's a really good shot of Fiona, actually.
Um...that sounded slightly perverted.
Fiona: I was in last period standing next to Aimee and she...she...collapsed.
Madison: What?
Drew: Like, onto the floor?
Um, Drew? DUH!
Heh. The school nurse is named Nurse Shim.
How does Aimee NOT have an eating disorder now? The doctor was all, "Oh, she was on her way down that path..."
So Roger won't chaperone and Aimee's all mad. Um, YOUR FAULT.
AAARGH! If you REALLY needed a chaperone, why would you refuse someone's offer, even if they were "uncool"?
Why would you ask your teacher?? That's very weird/creepy.
Ivy: What's your problem, Aimee? Hmmm...fainted lately?
:O That's so awful...but a much better comeback than, "Walk much?"
Fiona: Ivy is a cow. Mooooo!
Dean: Nikki stinks. She has a cute belly button, but I hate her music. She can't sing.
A CUTE BELLY BUTTON?? Do guys SERIOUSLY consider a CUTE BELLYBUTTON part of the criteria for whether or not a girl is hot?
"I've been trying to get a date with Janet Daly all year." Perv.
Carmen: Is that your picture for Mr. Duane?
Maidson: Yeah. I'm bringing it to Hart class. I mean art class.
ROFL.
Aimee: I am wearing those pink pants I bought at the mall last week, my Nikki T-shirt, and...this brand-new jean jacket with a big heart patch on the sleeve.
Um...cool.
"She didn't have time to chat with Mom now. There were far more important tasks to accomplish."
OMGEEZ, like finding the picture perfect outfit!!
Hmmm, Madison ends up wearing an orange kitty T-shirt and patchwork jeans. Better than pink pants and a hippie jacket....
Lol, she puts on body glitter.
Aaagh. I hate it when siblings fight in front of people. So awkward.
EWWW, Dean IS a perv!
Ivy: So, what are you three doing here?
Fiona: We won tickets on the radio.
Madison: Yeah, we won tickets in the front row. Imagine that?
Ivy: Yeah, right. Let me see.
Amy: Um, I don't think so. We have to be going now.
That's supposed to be a clever, biting response, but now Ivy probably thinks you're lying.
Lame. Nikki's tour is circus themed.
Ha. They end up sitting with Poison Ivy and Janet.
ROFL!! Nikki's opening number is "BEEEE my LUV ma-SHEEN." She has other songs entitled "Living on the Edge of Y-O-U" and "Download My Heart".
Man. Nikki's short. WHY IS EVERYONE IN HOLLYWOOD SHORT?
And Nikki's not a real blond.
Aimee: *bumps into Nikki*
Nikki: Um, excuse me. Do you mind?
Aimee: Oh, I'm sorry. Are you okay?
Nikki: Um, don't touch, 'kay?
All right then....
Fiona is "wicked disappointed".
"Her skin looked bumpy all over. Nikki had zits. Lots of zits."
Why does this make her a horrible person? I have bad acne, too, and I'd like to think I'm better than Nikki. Or Aimee.
EW, NIKKI STARTS HITTING ON DEAN! ILLEGAL MUCH?
OOOOWNED, he tells her her concert was LAME.
"Let's blow this Popsicle stand. Later for the plastic music queen."
Fiona doesn't know what digits are.
Laaame.
Madison: What do you think makes a girl pretty?
Dean: Pretty...I have no clue.
Aimee: Yeah you do. Is it a cool' do or nice eyes or smarts or what?
Dean: She has to be really nice.
Whatever.
Carmen turns out to be way nice. Awwww. Now she and Maddie are BFFs. I can totally relate; there are people I didn't really like in 7th or 8th grade that I'm really good friends with now.
Madison's Computer Tip:
E-mails and IM's are a great way to reach out for help and advice from friends - and get answers fast.
Thank you, Maddie.
Later on, I've got the last Horseshoe Trilogies book. Then a Pony Pals, and an Avalon tomorrow. Peace.
Of course the Native American girl has to bond with a mistwolf, or Avalon: Web of Magic #3: Cry of the Wolf
Okay, I'm trying to finish this pretty quickly because I have a Christmas Eve service to go to in about an hour (I'm starting this at 2:51, but knowing me, I'll probably finish around 4:00).
As you can see on the cover, this is the first glimpse we've seen of Stormbringer, the elusive mistwolf, and that little hottie (psh) in the back there is Zach. It looks like Adriane has a lip ring...psyche, that's an indentation on my book.
Plot: Adriane and Stormbringer are bestest friends and they tell each other everything. Storm admits to Adriane that she's lonely and wishes she weren't the last mistwolf alive.
Well, it turns out she's not. A bunch of mistwolves pop through a portal into Ravenswood and whisk Stormbringer away. Storm doesn't want to leave Adriane, but come on. She tells her "pack mate" that she will always be able to find her.
So Adriane is heartbroken and convinces her friends to reopen the portal so she can contact Storm...and gets pulled inside and dumped in the Shadowlands! Sucks for you. In the Shadowlands, she meets a deranged ape thing named Scorge who is looking for his magic rock. No comment. He runs away and Adriane finds the rock, which can move on its own and seems to understand everything she says. They become BFFs and Adriane dubs him Rocky.
Then imps attack them, obviously after Rocky! A boy named Zach appears on a griffin named *snicker* Wind Dancer and saves their butts.
Bla bla bla. Zach feeds Adriane and they talk. Adriane finds out that Zach's parents were mages and they were killed and a bunch of FASCINATING stuff.
A bunch of scary, magical creatures keep attacking them. They must REALLY want that rock. Adriane saves them all this time, but Windy is greviously wounded. They fly through another portal into the Fairy Glen and Windy dies.
But that's okay, because there are Fairimentals in this new portalicious place, and boy, do they like to talk! Turns out "Rocky" is a dragon egg. Hmm, sounds vaguely "Eragon"-ish. They also reveal Adriane's real quest (she'd been very vague on details with Zach) and he flips out, because he was raised by mistwolves.
Whaaaa? Adriane drags the story out of him: Zach was raised by mistwolves, but in order to prove himself to one wolf brother, he tried to kill the creature that destroyed his parents, and in the process led several mistwolves into a trap. Adriane's all, "Awww, that sucks, but you have to be strong," and a bunch of moving stuff. Sort of awkward/boring. She also finds out that Zach has never had a birthday party; this is important (sort of). Then Adriane leaves to go on her quest. By herself. All on her owney.
And she gets attacked by magical creatures. AGAIN. But Zach and Rocky save her, Rocky hatches into a baby dragon and imprints on Adriane, so Adriane renames him "Drake". Phew. That's a lot of information.
Not done yet. Adriane somehow gets captured in order to save Zach and Drake, and is taken to the dark sorceress that we met in book #2. She throws Adriane into the dungeon. Figures. There Adriane meets a bunch of fellow prisoners who are suffering from the Black Fire (don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but it's a magical disease that Lyra had, and a million of the animals in Ravenswood had, and it's pretty serious, but apparently really easy to cure because Emily does it ALL THE TIME, but anyway....). One of them is Silver Eyes, a mistwolf Zach had thought he'd killed. Guess you were wrong!
The d-flies come back and open a portal, allowing Emily to heal all the animals. Neither she nor Kara go THROUGH the portal to try to HELP Adriane, they just sit behind their computer and heal through the internet with magic. LAAAME. So Adriane, now strong, leads the animals on a revolt. They get out of the castle. Yay!
But it turns out it was a trap. The manticore from book #1 has a trillion soldiers behind him and he's mostly likely going to kill them all, but Zach and the mistwolves save them all. Yaaaaaay???
Then Adriane throws a birthday party for Zach. It's touching. Then she goes home. I REALLY suck at summarizing.
More notes:
Adriane and Storm are running through the woods together. What is this, Pocahantas?
Ugh, way to reference "George of the Jungle". "Adriane! Watch out for that....tree."
Now they're rolling down a hill together? Like Anakin and Padme?
Dang. Turns out Adriane's parents abandoned her at Ravenswood so they could travel the world. That sucks.
Adriane believes she's a wolf. Why isn't she being locked up?
Ooh, never mess with a mistwolf named MOONSHADOW. Rawr.
Turns out there are billions of mistwolves. Storm just missed them.
Lame. Storm's all, "Oh, thanks for the fun times, I'm going to leave forever now!"
Okay, that Marcus guy is kind of an idiot. "It's beauty and the beast!"
Oh. Dragons must be real because Ozzie's cousin's friend's friend's brother-in-law's neighbor's cousin's schoolmate's grandma saw one!
"Dragons are very rare and powerful magicla creatures. They have long been extinct on Aldenmor." FORESHADOWING!!
Okay, here are the dragonflies and their colors.
Barney = purple
Fiona = red
Goldie = yellow
Fred = blue
Blaze = orange
"Instead of playing our regular 'Throw the Shoe at the Dragonflies' game that you all love so much, I have a special new game for us to play. It's called the 'Open the Portal' game! Yay!" Heh.
Emily grabs Adriane to prevent her from being sucked in and Ozzie is just hopping up and down. Thanks for the help, Ozzie.
Oh no. Scorge talks like Jar Jar Binks.
"You're not from around here..."
"No, I'm from...over the rainbow."
Right.
Adriane, you do realize you're talking to a rock.
"Is that what you are, Rocky? A pet rock? Yes, you are! Who's the good widdle pet rock? You! That's who!"
Then again, I'm talking to a fictional character....
"Let's rock and roll!"
No comment.
Ha. Rocky goes bowling.
Ew, Zach starts poking Adriane and pulling her hair. You're not 2.
I think this is supposed to show us how witty and edgy Adriane is.
Zach: Where are you from?
Adriane: Over the rainbow.
Zach: How old are you?
Adriane: One hundred and fifty.
WHAT KIND OF NAME IS WIND DANCER?? That reminds me of that Sky Dancer show I loved so much.
Okay, that's sad, because Christopher Paolini BASICALLY copied this book with the whole, "It's not a stone, it's an egg," deal.
Okay, Zach needs to get out more.
Adriane: What do we do? Sit on it?
Zach: *laughing uncontrollably* No, I don't think it's a chicken.
"A human had killed his pack mother. But the only other human here was Zach."
Then it must have been Zach.
Zach destroys the map to the Fairy Glen. Psycho.
Zach suddenly has a sword?? Question mark?
Oh, it's an Elven Spirit Sword. I wonder, did ELROND make it for you? Or was it passed down from father to son from the great warrior Isildur?
Okay, I started laughing when Windy died. I felt bad, but Adriane was all, "BUT THESE FLOWERS HAVE HEALING MAGIC! THEY CAN HELP HIM!" Then she falls to her knees and is all, "[Vader]NOOOOOOO![/Vader]"
I REALLY doubt that the Fairimentals are wearing any clothes. "Heart of Avalon" has a naked water Fairimental on the cover.
Adriane: My friend...that I'm looking for, is not exactly human.
Zach: What is she?
Adriane: A mistwolf.
Zach: *flips out* A MISTWOLF!?? *runs away*
Um, what was up with that?
Uh, creepy, they commune with trees.
They're looking at a picture of Zach and his parents.
Zach: That's me.
Adriane: The baby I take it.
....
No, Adriane, your parents have never been killed by a manticore, don't try to relate.
"You're everything I've always dreamed of being. Strong, confident, independent. And you understand what's going on around here. How are we supposed to figure this all out without your help?"
Wow. Flattery works, too.
"How can I help? You need a knight, a hero, like Zach."
What gives you the impression that he's a hero? I was under the impression that he's an angry, pubescent teenage boy.
"'Human,' Moonshadow said to her. With a start, Adriane realized the pack leader was talking to her."
Well, yes, seeing as you're the only human in sight.
"And I like your name, Drake. It's so smooth, like a rock star. Rock star, get it?"
ENOUGH WITH THE ROCK PUNS!!
Okay, they're attacked by things that look like Rocksteady and Bebop from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Zach rescues her. Again. How convenient.
THOSE ARE SO NOT ORCS!! LIES!!
Oh, you shouldn't assume that dragons are horrible monsters. That's discrimination. OBVIOUSLY you've never been to diversity training, Zack.
"Zach's butt was suddenly crisped with soot." Mmm, delicious.
Some more Jedi fight scenes. Aww, Adriane, you're so selfless!
She just randomly faints. Nice.
The dark sorceress looks like the falcons from "Snakecharm" and "Falcondance".
Okay, the dark sorceress isn't really evil, if all she does is capture teenage girls and tell them wolves are stupid.
"Oh, how is your friend kara? I'm looking forward to meeting her again." FORESHADOWING!!
Adriane has the Black Fire now. She is going to die. Wait! What's that sound?
POP! POP! POP! POP! POP!
Yay, the dragonflies are back!
Aw, Silver Eyes doesn't blame Zach.
Gee, how will we get out of the castle? Don't worry, Lyra knows how! AARGH! Why can't they figure stuff out for themselves? Heh, coming from someone who is practically failing math....
Oh dear, the manticore is back.
Violence and blood.
Aaaaand now you're outnumbered.
Okay, lame.
Adriane: Save yourself!
Storm: I would not be able to go on without you.
Adriane: Really?
Storm: Yes.
Adriane: I love you, Storm.
Storm: I love you, Adriane.
A magic net is about to fall on them...but at the last moment, all the mistwolves turn to mist, rendering them invisible! Wait, invisible things can still be caught by nets.... Doesn't make any sense.
Manticore: I will kill you as easily as I killed your parents, boy!
Moonshadow: Then you will have to kill me as well!
Awww, Moonshadow comes through for Zach. Wth, manticore, why would you ADMIT that? They'll be taking you to Fairy Alcatraz.
Oooh, Adriane looks so fashionable in a purple leaf.
Zach is kind of creepy. "What, he likes his tummy rubbed!"
Awww, a hamster-size dog.
Zach gets a magic jewel! It's a dragon stone! Now he's bonded to Drake! Yay!
Ha. Kara hits on Zach.
YES! I did it in LESS THAN AN HOUR! w00t!!! Okay, now I have to go to church. Seeyas!
As you can see on the cover, this is the first glimpse we've seen of Stormbringer, the elusive mistwolf, and that little hottie (psh) in the back there is Zach. It looks like Adriane has a lip ring...psyche, that's an indentation on my book.
Plot: Adriane and Stormbringer are bestest friends and they tell each other everything. Storm admits to Adriane that she's lonely and wishes she weren't the last mistwolf alive.
Well, it turns out she's not. A bunch of mistwolves pop through a portal into Ravenswood and whisk Stormbringer away. Storm doesn't want to leave Adriane, but come on. She tells her "pack mate" that she will always be able to find her.
So Adriane is heartbroken and convinces her friends to reopen the portal so she can contact Storm...and gets pulled inside and dumped in the Shadowlands! Sucks for you. In the Shadowlands, she meets a deranged ape thing named Scorge who is looking for his magic rock. No comment. He runs away and Adriane finds the rock, which can move on its own and seems to understand everything she says. They become BFFs and Adriane dubs him Rocky.
Then imps attack them, obviously after Rocky! A boy named Zach appears on a griffin named *snicker* Wind Dancer and saves their butts.
Bla bla bla. Zach feeds Adriane and they talk. Adriane finds out that Zach's parents were mages and they were killed and a bunch of FASCINATING stuff.
A bunch of scary, magical creatures keep attacking them. They must REALLY want that rock. Adriane saves them all this time, but Windy is greviously wounded. They fly through another portal into the Fairy Glen and Windy dies.
But that's okay, because there are Fairimentals in this new portalicious place, and boy, do they like to talk! Turns out "Rocky" is a dragon egg. Hmm, sounds vaguely "Eragon"-ish. They also reveal Adriane's real quest (she'd been very vague on details with Zach) and he flips out, because he was raised by mistwolves.
Whaaaa? Adriane drags the story out of him: Zach was raised by mistwolves, but in order to prove himself to one wolf brother, he tried to kill the creature that destroyed his parents, and in the process led several mistwolves into a trap. Adriane's all, "Awww, that sucks, but you have to be strong," and a bunch of moving stuff. Sort of awkward/boring. She also finds out that Zach has never had a birthday party; this is important (sort of). Then Adriane leaves to go on her quest. By herself. All on her owney.
And she gets attacked by magical creatures. AGAIN. But Zach and Rocky save her, Rocky hatches into a baby dragon and imprints on Adriane, so Adriane renames him "Drake". Phew. That's a lot of information.
Not done yet. Adriane somehow gets captured in order to save Zach and Drake, and is taken to the dark sorceress that we met in book #2. She throws Adriane into the dungeon. Figures. There Adriane meets a bunch of fellow prisoners who are suffering from the Black Fire (don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but it's a magical disease that Lyra had, and a million of the animals in Ravenswood had, and it's pretty serious, but apparently really easy to cure because Emily does it ALL THE TIME, but anyway....). One of them is Silver Eyes, a mistwolf Zach had thought he'd killed. Guess you were wrong!
The d-flies come back and open a portal, allowing Emily to heal all the animals. Neither she nor Kara go THROUGH the portal to try to HELP Adriane, they just sit behind their computer and heal through the internet with magic. LAAAME. So Adriane, now strong, leads the animals on a revolt. They get out of the castle. Yay!
But it turns out it was a trap. The manticore from book #1 has a trillion soldiers behind him and he's mostly likely going to kill them all, but Zach and the mistwolves save them all. Yaaaaaay???
Then Adriane throws a birthday party for Zach. It's touching. Then she goes home. I REALLY suck at summarizing.
More notes:
Adriane and Storm are running through the woods together. What is this, Pocahantas?
Ugh, way to reference "George of the Jungle". "Adriane! Watch out for that....tree."
Now they're rolling down a hill together? Like Anakin and Padme?
Dang. Turns out Adriane's parents abandoned her at Ravenswood so they could travel the world. That sucks.
Adriane believes she's a wolf. Why isn't she being locked up?
Ooh, never mess with a mistwolf named MOONSHADOW. Rawr.
Turns out there are billions of mistwolves. Storm just missed them.
Lame. Storm's all, "Oh, thanks for the fun times, I'm going to leave forever now!"
Okay, that Marcus guy is kind of an idiot. "It's beauty and the beast!"
Oh. Dragons must be real because Ozzie's cousin's friend's friend's brother-in-law's neighbor's cousin's schoolmate's grandma saw one!
"Dragons are very rare and powerful magicla creatures. They have long been extinct on Aldenmor." FORESHADOWING!!
Okay, here are the dragonflies and their colors.
Barney = purple
Fiona = red
Goldie = yellow
Fred = blue
Blaze = orange
"Instead of playing our regular 'Throw the Shoe at the Dragonflies' game that you all love so much, I have a special new game for us to play. It's called the 'Open the Portal' game! Yay!" Heh.
Emily grabs Adriane to prevent her from being sucked in and Ozzie is just hopping up and down. Thanks for the help, Ozzie.
Oh no. Scorge talks like Jar Jar Binks.
"You're not from around here..."
"No, I'm from...over the rainbow."
Right.
Adriane, you do realize you're talking to a rock.
"Is that what you are, Rocky? A pet rock? Yes, you are! Who's the good widdle pet rock? You! That's who!"
Then again, I'm talking to a fictional character....
"Let's rock and roll!"
No comment.
Ha. Rocky goes bowling.
Ew, Zach starts poking Adriane and pulling her hair. You're not 2.
I think this is supposed to show us how witty and edgy Adriane is.
Zach: Where are you from?
Adriane: Over the rainbow.
Zach: How old are you?
Adriane: One hundred and fifty.
WHAT KIND OF NAME IS WIND DANCER?? That reminds me of that Sky Dancer show I loved so much.
Okay, that's sad, because Christopher Paolini BASICALLY copied this book with the whole, "It's not a stone, it's an egg," deal.
Okay, Zach needs to get out more.
Adriane: What do we do? Sit on it?
Zach: *laughing uncontrollably* No, I don't think it's a chicken.
"A human had killed his pack mother. But the only other human here was Zach."
Then it must have been Zach.
Zach destroys the map to the Fairy Glen. Psycho.
Zach suddenly has a sword?? Question mark?
Oh, it's an Elven Spirit Sword. I wonder, did ELROND make it for you? Or was it passed down from father to son from the great warrior Isildur?
Okay, I started laughing when Windy died. I felt bad, but Adriane was all, "BUT THESE FLOWERS HAVE HEALING MAGIC! THEY CAN HELP HIM!" Then she falls to her knees and is all, "[Vader]NOOOOOOO![/Vader]"
I REALLY doubt that the Fairimentals are wearing any clothes. "Heart of Avalon" has a naked water Fairimental on the cover.
Adriane: My friend...that I'm looking for, is not exactly human.
Zach: What is she?
Adriane: A mistwolf.
Zach: *flips out* A MISTWOLF!?? *runs away*
Um, what was up with that?
Uh, creepy, they commune with trees.
They're looking at a picture of Zach and his parents.
Zach: That's me.
Adriane: The baby I take it.
....
No, Adriane, your parents have never been killed by a manticore, don't try to relate.
"You're everything I've always dreamed of being. Strong, confident, independent. And you understand what's going on around here. How are we supposed to figure this all out without your help?"
Wow. Flattery works, too.
"How can I help? You need a knight, a hero, like Zach."
What gives you the impression that he's a hero? I was under the impression that he's an angry, pubescent teenage boy.
"'Human,' Moonshadow said to her. With a start, Adriane realized the pack leader was talking to her."
Well, yes, seeing as you're the only human in sight.
"And I like your name, Drake. It's so smooth, like a rock star. Rock star, get it?"
ENOUGH WITH THE ROCK PUNS!!
Okay, they're attacked by things that look like Rocksteady and Bebop from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Zach rescues her. Again. How convenient.
THOSE ARE SO NOT ORCS!! LIES!!
Oh, you shouldn't assume that dragons are horrible monsters. That's discrimination. OBVIOUSLY you've never been to diversity training, Zack.
"Zach's butt was suddenly crisped with soot." Mmm, delicious.
Some more Jedi fight scenes. Aww, Adriane, you're so selfless!
She just randomly faints. Nice.
The dark sorceress looks like the falcons from "Snakecharm" and "Falcondance".
Okay, the dark sorceress isn't really evil, if all she does is capture teenage girls and tell them wolves are stupid.
"Oh, how is your friend kara? I'm looking forward to meeting her again." FORESHADOWING!!
Adriane has the Black Fire now. She is going to die. Wait! What's that sound?
POP! POP! POP! POP! POP!
Yay, the dragonflies are back!
Aw, Silver Eyes doesn't blame Zach.
Gee, how will we get out of the castle? Don't worry, Lyra knows how! AARGH! Why can't they figure stuff out for themselves? Heh, coming from someone who is practically failing math....
Oh dear, the manticore is back.
Violence and blood.
Aaaaand now you're outnumbered.
Okay, lame.
Adriane: Save yourself!
Storm: I would not be able to go on without you.
Adriane: Really?
Storm: Yes.
Adriane: I love you, Storm.
Storm: I love you, Adriane.
A magic net is about to fall on them...but at the last moment, all the mistwolves turn to mist, rendering them invisible! Wait, invisible things can still be caught by nets.... Doesn't make any sense.
Manticore: I will kill you as easily as I killed your parents, boy!
Moonshadow: Then you will have to kill me as well!
Awww, Moonshadow comes through for Zach. Wth, manticore, why would you ADMIT that? They'll be taking you to Fairy Alcatraz.
Oooh, Adriane looks so fashionable in a purple leaf.
Zach is kind of creepy. "What, he likes his tummy rubbed!"
Awww, a hamster-size dog.
Zach gets a magic jewel! It's a dragon stone! Now he's bonded to Drake! Yay!
Ha. Kara hits on Zach.
YES! I did it in LESS THAN AN HOUR! w00t!!! Okay, now I have to go to church. Seeyas!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
I'm so busy, but I have no extracurriculars, or FTFO Madison Finn #7: Save the Date
Wow, long title.
Plot: As usual, Madison Finn has a lot on her plate. First of all, a crazy rainstorm caused her roof to leak...INSIDE HER ROOM!!! Even worse, Mom starts flirting with the Fix-It guy!!! Then comes the discovery of lost assignments, permission slips, and drugs (yeah right) in Madison's backpack. Oh, and she feels angry and pubescent and she doesn't know why, so she takes it out on people she likes. Angst, angst.
The plot's actually sort of stupid. The boys in Maddie's science class start acting TOTALLY immature (um, yeah, your point), and then the science teacher splits them into groups on the class field trip: boys versus girls!!! This puts Ivy and Madison on the same side!! :O Basically it's a lot of, "Oh no, I have to be friends with Ivy," and, "Boys are so stupid," so we will skip ahead to the field trip.
On the nature field trip, Madison and Egg get in a fight, and it's way retarded, and boys are just soooo stupid, but then Fiona gets stung by a bee. Normally that wouldn't be a big deal, but it turns out she's ALLERGIC to bees. This brings the Battle of the Sexes to an end, I guess?
So Madison gets home and receives an e-mail from Chet, Fiona's twin brother, where he admits he skipped out on the duck pond and needs information to complete his assignment. Madison thinks this is just hilarious and is all set to tell Aimee and Fiona...when she realizes they don't really care. They're not in her science class, after all. So she tells IVY. That's right, Poison Ivy. Ivy tells her to give Chet some bogus information to make him look like an idiot. Madison does it.
On the day of presentation, Hart and Chet do indeed look like idiots. And Madison and Ivy never speak again.
More notes:
Aimee: I think we should blow off homework and have a beauty night. At least before we eat dinner.
Madison: I have an English paper to write.
Aimee: But this will be more fun.
Madison: I guess you're right.
Way to go Madison. I'll be here when you fail that class.
Another book where lying is condoned.
"The Dickson Fix-It guy had finally arrived, with his gray hair and clothes drenched from the rain. His shirt read William on the pocket in red embroidered letters. When he smiled, Madison saw a huge gap between his front teeth."
Ewwww. Madison's mom thinks he's HOT.
"Please...call me Frannie." Desperate much?
Foreshadowing of Aimee's eating disorder.
"They had store-bought brownies for dessert, but Aimee only ate a corner of one."
Because she's anorexic.
Madison's password is 8 letters. I bet it's, "I luv Hart." I swear, I would bet a million bucks.
They're scanning the usernames in a chat room and one of them is Luckyduck. Wth, I'm in there??
Mr. Danehy comes in and asks what all the ruckus is about. Lol. He sounded very Snapelike when he said it. "WHAT IS ALL THIS RUMPUS!?" "Petrificus poopulous!"
Yay, oblivious science teacher!
How is it discriminatory that Mr. Danehy split the class into guys and girls??
Lol, Aimee. "Omg, I didn't think of that! We have to be bus buddies!"
Why does Fiona always feel the need to smile coyly at Egg and say something in a retarded sounding voice? "Sorry, Egg, but... *coyness*"
Madison wants to study Madonna for her woman's history paper.
I remember when school's had sociology as a class. Okay, not really, cuz that was in the 80's, but I've read Caroline B. Cooney books about it, lol.
Ugh, Lindsay Frost starts hitting on Hart. "Lindsay kept tossing her hair to one side, even though it wasn't long. Madison could tell that Lindsay thought Hart was cute, too."
Wth, Madison is suddenly all mean to Hart. "Whatever, I have to leave."
The boys in these books are really retarded. Actually, boys in general are retarded.
Egg: my old name Eggaway stinx so frm now on change ur mailbox to TheEggMan. C u bye.
Dan: Yo! whassup with our scrn names now they are like the same! Why don't you call yourself EggDrop or maybe Egghead instead LOL. Call me l8r g8r.
And what boy in their right mind would put, "Call me l8r g8r," at the end of an e-mail...to another guy???
HAAA! Madison gets an e-mail with the subject, "XXX Rated." Hm, I wonder what's inside.
"As Gramma Helen always said, 'Curiosity killed the cat.' Madison didn't want any dead cats."
Whaaaa? Bigwheels is on AIM at school. Don't they block that kind of thing?
OH NO! Francine Finn has been on "DATE-O-MAGIC"!
I hate how they say, "Older boys are soooo much more mature," every 5 pages. Because it's not true. Most of the time. Depends on how much older we're talking.
Ew, Madison's mom trashtalks her dad all the time. I hate when my parents do that to each other.
Awww, Maddie and her self-deprecating humor.
"I'm having a crisis, and it has to do with a four-letter word that I'm beginning to detest: D-a-t-e. I wish I could say the crisis about the word date is because three different boys want to ask me out. HA HA HA LOL - that isn't even close."
Yay, outfits! "After three more outfit tests, she finally picked the winning combinaion: faded jeans and an orange Boop-Dee-Doop T-shirt with a panda bear on the front. It even matched her striped socks."
I think I have that shirt. Yeah right, I wish.
Um, WHY IS LINDSAY WEARING OVERALLS AND A FLOPPY HAT???
More Egg and Fionaness. Adorable, I guess???
Ugh, retarded. Egg steals Ivy's nail polish, and passes it around the bus, but Madison gives it back to Ivy, so Egg's all, "YOU TRAITOR!!"
ROFL!!
"But Hart stepped in between the two. 'Give it a rest, Egg,' he said. Then he turned around toward Madison so close, they were nose to nose.
And he smiled."
Wth??? Kind of creepy yet really hilarious.
Ew, 7th grade girls attempting to flirt with 20-something nature guide.
"We'll be traveling through some wooded areas, so please be sure to stay on the trails and beware of poison ivy."
LOL.
Madison sits in duck poop. Noyce.
Aargh, why did I mark every page in this book?
Some guy hits Maddie in the shoulder with a Frisbee, and she's all, "YOU'RE TOAST, EGG! I MEANT IT. THAT GOES FOR ALL BOYS EVERYWHERE!" Wth???
Oh no, now Fiona and Egg are fighting about littering carrots!
"Let's shake a leg, then, shall we?" And with that, he shook a leg.
Lindsay Frost = REALLY freaking annoying.
Ha. Madison's weakness is Hart's hair.
Fiona passes out. Oh the violence.
Ahahahaha, I love Ivy. She has the worst insults ever.
Madison: *bumps into Ivy*
Ivy: WALK MUCH?
Jimmy the hot trial guide: You were so brave today.
Madison: Tanks. I mean, thanks.
Lol.
Hart doesn't like that Madison thinks Jimmy is a hottie. Jealous much?
I like how guys always have to top each other.
Egg: One time I got stung and had to go to the emergency room.
Hart: Well, I got stung by an ENTIRE BEEHIVE.
I say "hola" sometimes and I don't speak Spanish. Never mind. Bigwheels is stupid.
Madison's mom = huge hypocrite.
"I'm not ready to date now, Madison. *phone rings* Hello? Oh, hi Paul!"
Aww, this made me really sad.
Madison: She's going out with someone named Paul.
Dad: Not Paul Pierce from BudgeFilms?
Madison: Yeah, why?
Dad: I always knew he had a thing for your mother.
*tear*
"No one had ever really asked Fiona point-blank if she and Egg were dating. Had they ever held hands? Had they ever kissed?"
No comment.
Hart is such a loser, lol.
"FINNSTER! Going to science?"
"Where did you come from?"
"I was down the hall. But I'm going to science, too."
Um, DUH! You guys have the same CLASS.
Aw, Drew the little stalker is barely in this one!
Madison learns from eavesdropping outside the boys bathroom that EGG LIKES FIONA. Um...yay?
Lol. "Hart Jones is SOOOOOO full of himself. I actually heard him say that some girl in our class really, really likes him. Who do you think it is?"
Um, duh, Maddie, YOU like him.
She gets an e-mail from "Fiona", when in fact the e-mail (Wetwins) is Chet's. It almost fools her.
Whatever, who would believe that there are pirahnas in a DUCK POND??
3 e-mails in 5 minutes isn't a lot, Madison.
Yours till the duck quacks. Aww, how appropriate.
Btw, Bigwheels' real name is VICTORIA. Like you care. But anyways.
Madison: *after Frannie's date with Paul* Where did you go?
Mom: French restaurant. And then we went for a walk.
Madison: A walk? What for?
Mom: *evil grin*
Madison: No way!
And her mom insists that all they did was talk. Whatever.
So awful. Madison tells Chet lies about pirahnas and Joan Kenyon.
Lol, I love the science teacher. "You can swear all you want, Chet, but I do not remember seeing any flesh-eating fish at the nature preserve."
Now Chet and Hart aren't talking to Madison. Ooooooh... Feeling guilty now.
Agh, but Egg tells her THEY DESERVED IT and that she doesn't deserve to feel guilty.
Madison's Computer Tip
BE CAREFUL ABOUT WHAT YOU READ AND RESPOND TO ONLINE.
Okay, maybe some Avalon later today, but I do have other stuff to do, such as...PLAY MY BRAND NEW BASS!!! BOOYA!
Plot: As usual, Madison Finn has a lot on her plate. First of all, a crazy rainstorm caused her roof to leak...INSIDE HER ROOM!!! Even worse, Mom starts flirting with the Fix-It guy!!! Then comes the discovery of lost assignments, permission slips, and drugs (yeah right) in Madison's backpack. Oh, and she feels angry and pubescent and she doesn't know why, so she takes it out on people she likes. Angst, angst.
The plot's actually sort of stupid. The boys in Maddie's science class start acting TOTALLY immature (um, yeah, your point), and then the science teacher splits them into groups on the class field trip: boys versus girls!!! This puts Ivy and Madison on the same side!! :O Basically it's a lot of, "Oh no, I have to be friends with Ivy," and, "Boys are so stupid," so we will skip ahead to the field trip.
On the nature field trip, Madison and Egg get in a fight, and it's way retarded, and boys are just soooo stupid, but then Fiona gets stung by a bee. Normally that wouldn't be a big deal, but it turns out she's ALLERGIC to bees. This brings the Battle of the Sexes to an end, I guess?
So Madison gets home and receives an e-mail from Chet, Fiona's twin brother, where he admits he skipped out on the duck pond and needs information to complete his assignment. Madison thinks this is just hilarious and is all set to tell Aimee and Fiona...when she realizes they don't really care. They're not in her science class, after all. So she tells IVY. That's right, Poison Ivy. Ivy tells her to give Chet some bogus information to make him look like an idiot. Madison does it.
On the day of presentation, Hart and Chet do indeed look like idiots. And Madison and Ivy never speak again.
More notes:
Aimee: I think we should blow off homework and have a beauty night. At least before we eat dinner.
Madison: I have an English paper to write.
Aimee: But this will be more fun.
Madison: I guess you're right.
Way to go Madison. I'll be here when you fail that class.
Another book where lying is condoned.
"The Dickson Fix-It guy had finally arrived, with his gray hair and clothes drenched from the rain. His shirt read William on the pocket in red embroidered letters. When he smiled, Madison saw a huge gap between his front teeth."
Ewwww. Madison's mom thinks he's HOT.
"Please...call me Frannie." Desperate much?
Foreshadowing of Aimee's eating disorder.
"They had store-bought brownies for dessert, but Aimee only ate a corner of one."
Because she's anorexic.
Madison's password is 8 letters. I bet it's, "I luv Hart." I swear, I would bet a million bucks.
They're scanning the usernames in a chat room and one of them is Luckyduck. Wth, I'm in there??
Mr. Danehy comes in and asks what all the ruckus is about. Lol. He sounded very Snapelike when he said it. "WHAT IS ALL THIS RUMPUS!?" "Petrificus poopulous!"
Yay, oblivious science teacher!
How is it discriminatory that Mr. Danehy split the class into guys and girls??
Lol, Aimee. "Omg, I didn't think of that! We have to be bus buddies!"
Why does Fiona always feel the need to smile coyly at Egg and say something in a retarded sounding voice? "Sorry, Egg, but... *coyness*"
Madison wants to study Madonna for her woman's history paper.
I remember when school's had sociology as a class. Okay, not really, cuz that was in the 80's, but I've read Caroline B. Cooney books about it, lol.
Ugh, Lindsay Frost starts hitting on Hart. "Lindsay kept tossing her hair to one side, even though it wasn't long. Madison could tell that Lindsay thought Hart was cute, too."
Wth, Madison is suddenly all mean to Hart. "Whatever, I have to leave."
The boys in these books are really retarded. Actually, boys in general are retarded.
Egg: my old name Eggaway stinx so frm now on change ur mailbox to TheEggMan. C u bye.
Dan: Yo! whassup with our scrn names now they are like the same! Why don't you call yourself EggDrop or maybe Egghead instead LOL. Call me l8r g8r.
And what boy in their right mind would put, "Call me l8r g8r," at the end of an e-mail...to another guy???
HAAA! Madison gets an e-mail with the subject, "XXX Rated." Hm, I wonder what's inside.
"As Gramma Helen always said, 'Curiosity killed the cat.' Madison didn't want any dead cats."
Whaaaa? Bigwheels is on AIM at school. Don't they block that kind of thing?
OH NO! Francine Finn has been on "DATE-O-MAGIC"!
I hate how they say, "Older boys are soooo much more mature," every 5 pages. Because it's not true. Most of the time. Depends on how much older we're talking.
Ew, Madison's mom trashtalks her dad all the time. I hate when my parents do that to each other.
Awww, Maddie and her self-deprecating humor.
"I'm having a crisis, and it has to do with a four-letter word that I'm beginning to detest: D-a-t-e. I wish I could say the crisis about the word date is because three different boys want to ask me out. HA HA HA LOL - that isn't even close."
Yay, outfits! "After three more outfit tests, she finally picked the winning combinaion: faded jeans and an orange Boop-Dee-Doop T-shirt with a panda bear on the front. It even matched her striped socks."
I think I have that shirt. Yeah right, I wish.
Um, WHY IS LINDSAY WEARING OVERALLS AND A FLOPPY HAT???
More Egg and Fionaness. Adorable, I guess???
Ugh, retarded. Egg steals Ivy's nail polish, and passes it around the bus, but Madison gives it back to Ivy, so Egg's all, "YOU TRAITOR!!"
ROFL!!
"But Hart stepped in between the two. 'Give it a rest, Egg,' he said. Then he turned around toward Madison so close, they were nose to nose.
And he smiled."
Wth??? Kind of creepy yet really hilarious.
Ew, 7th grade girls attempting to flirt with 20-something nature guide.
"We'll be traveling through some wooded areas, so please be sure to stay on the trails and beware of poison ivy."
LOL.
Madison sits in duck poop. Noyce.
Aargh, why did I mark every page in this book?
Some guy hits Maddie in the shoulder with a Frisbee, and she's all, "YOU'RE TOAST, EGG! I MEANT IT. THAT GOES FOR ALL BOYS EVERYWHERE!" Wth???
Oh no, now Fiona and Egg are fighting about littering carrots!
"Let's shake a leg, then, shall we?" And with that, he shook a leg.
Lindsay Frost = REALLY freaking annoying.
Ha. Madison's weakness is Hart's hair.
Fiona passes out. Oh the violence.
Ahahahaha, I love Ivy. She has the worst insults ever.
Madison: *bumps into Ivy*
Ivy: WALK MUCH?
Jimmy the hot trial guide: You were so brave today.
Madison: Tanks. I mean, thanks.
Lol.
Hart doesn't like that Madison thinks Jimmy is a hottie. Jealous much?
I like how guys always have to top each other.
Egg: One time I got stung and had to go to the emergency room.
Hart: Well, I got stung by an ENTIRE BEEHIVE.
I say "hola" sometimes and I don't speak Spanish. Never mind. Bigwheels is stupid.
Madison's mom = huge hypocrite.
"I'm not ready to date now, Madison. *phone rings* Hello? Oh, hi Paul!"
Aww, this made me really sad.
Madison: She's going out with someone named Paul.
Dad: Not Paul Pierce from BudgeFilms?
Madison: Yeah, why?
Dad: I always knew he had a thing for your mother.
*tear*
"No one had ever really asked Fiona point-blank if she and Egg were dating. Had they ever held hands? Had they ever kissed?"
No comment.
Hart is such a loser, lol.
"FINNSTER! Going to science?"
"Where did you come from?"
"I was down the hall. But I'm going to science, too."
Um, DUH! You guys have the same CLASS.
Aw, Drew the little stalker is barely in this one!
Madison learns from eavesdropping outside the boys bathroom that EGG LIKES FIONA. Um...yay?
Lol. "Hart Jones is SOOOOOO full of himself. I actually heard him say that some girl in our class really, really likes him. Who do you think it is?"
Um, duh, Maddie, YOU like him.
She gets an e-mail from "Fiona", when in fact the e-mail (Wetwins) is Chet's. It almost fools her.
Whatever, who would believe that there are pirahnas in a DUCK POND??
3 e-mails in 5 minutes isn't a lot, Madison.
Yours till the duck quacks. Aww, how appropriate.
Btw, Bigwheels' real name is VICTORIA. Like you care. But anyways.
Madison: *after Frannie's date with Paul* Where did you go?
Mom: French restaurant. And then we went for a walk.
Madison: A walk? What for?
Mom: *evil grin*
Madison: No way!
And her mom insists that all they did was talk. Whatever.
So awful. Madison tells Chet lies about pirahnas and Joan Kenyon.
Lol, I love the science teacher. "You can swear all you want, Chet, but I do not remember seeing any flesh-eating fish at the nature preserve."
Now Chet and Hart aren't talking to Madison. Ooooooh... Feeling guilty now.
Agh, but Egg tells her THEY DESERVED IT and that she doesn't deserve to feel guilty.
Madison's Computer Tip
BE CAREFUL ABOUT WHAT YOU READ AND RESPOND TO ONLINE.
Okay, maybe some Avalon later today, but I do have other stuff to do, such as...PLAY MY BRAND NEW BASS!!! BOOYA!
More stereotypical signs of evil, or Unicorns of Balinor #3: The Valley of Fear
Mary Stanton is just as bad as Christopher Paolini. This whole book was a blatant ripoff of LOTR and Chronicles of Narnia. She should read that sandwich review.
Plot: Arianna and Co. are still questing for that scepter. Turns out it's in the Valley of Fear, a Mordor-like land full of demon unicorns, volcanic ash, and *gasp* THE SHIFTER HIMSELF!!!
Um, while questing, Chase finds out that some of the animals have turned to the Dark Side and are eating other animals. Uh...your point? Apparently, that's now how things are in Balinor. Chase freaks out.
Yeah. Um, nothing really interesting happens. Ari complains a lot about being the princess and Atalanta tells her how special and right she is to feel that way. Then Lori tells everyone she wants to go home, and they're like, "STOP COMPLAINING!!!"
So they hear this prophecy from the Old Mare of the Mountain:
Six shall find the Scepter Royal,
The quick, the smart, the brave, the loyal,
Of humans there shall be but two,
One young and one whose past is new,
Of Six who go, two wait to learn,
Three of Six shall not return
Um, yeah, way to not copy LOTR. It turns out the Six are: Arianna, Chase, Dill and Basil (two foxes), Lincoln, and Lori.
Lori is sooo not happy about that.
So they go on the quest, dressed like orcs, or soldiers of darkness, or whatever.
It's SOOOOOOOOO hard, and Arianna is noble about everything. Hate.
So they get to the castle (um, that was easy), and Lady Kylie is there (you know, the evil lady from Book #2 who tried to capture Ari and almost killed Lincoln?) with the scepter. Turns out Lori betrayed everyone or something and was in league with Lady Kylie. Oh, but it's all right, she didn't know Kylie was evil. So there's a battle, but Kylie gets pwned.
So they're trying to escape, but then Lori falls into THE PIT (some scary place where the slaves are kept), and Ari tries to follow her, but trips and falls in, too, and now they're all back at Glacier River Farm.
Confusing? Do I suck at summarizing? Both? I'm sorry if you totally didn't understand any of that.
More notes:
The first four paragraphs begin with "Atalanta".
HOW DO SILVER AND WHITE FIT INTO THE RAINBOW??
AARGH mahogany and gold are NOT THE SAME!!
Aw. Lori admits to being homesick. You can't not feel a little bit sorry for her.
I like how Lori says what I'm thinking about Ari: "I suppose you're going to tell me you can't talk because you're in sooooo much pain."
Mary Stanton needs to stop writing incomplete sentences.
Aargh. Ari doesn't want to become a cruel and selfish leader. She's sooo wise!
Lies, lies. Atalanta's all, "You could go back to Glacier River Farm, where you'd go to school and make new friends!" Weren't Anne and Frank planning to homeschool? Just saying.
Ha. They said "garrison". Long story.
All unicorns are mentally retarded.
Lori: You get more wood. What am I, your slave?
Toby: What? The great me?
Dr. Bohnes is back...and she brought a pack of wolves. They totally reminded me of mistwolves.
"Um...uh...welcome." Way to go, Ari.
Ew, the wolves are drooling over Chase.
Chase: My good wolf, who commits the hunt? And when? Tell me!
Rufus: The big cats, as well as my pack. The bears. The ferrets. The great birds.
I'm sorry, but I found that really funny. LOOK OUT, EVERYBODY, HUNGRY FERRETS ON THE LOOSE!
Lori: Well, honestly. This is stupid. It's the way things are. I mean, I'm sorry, but that's what the world's like. Big fish eat little fish. Little fish eat teeny fish.
Um, yeah. Can you honestly say that the wolves, bears, and FERRETS are surviving on bugs and grass? That's not a lot of protein. Ooh, this is the part where Chase flips out:
Chase: Not here.
Lori: But-
Chase: NOT HERE IN BALINOR!
Heh. Toby.
"We can't, adn that's final, missy. Eat your cheese. And if you're not going to eat that apple, giv eit to me."
"Get your own apple."
Lol. I'll be saying that all day. "EAT YOUR CHEESE!"
Ooh, everyone's talking about Lori.
"Ari was too far away to hear, but she could guess they were talking about: how bossy she was, how ignorant of the realities of life, how stubborn."
Yeah, that describes you to a T, Ari.
"There is something trailing us."
"Following us? What do you mean, trailing us?"
WHAT ELSE COULD HE MEAN???
How Indiana Jones of you, Chase.
"I hope it's not a snake. Anything except a-"
He gets attacked by a snake.
So the head of the Animal Council is a lion...named Vanax. Lol, rhymes with Xanax?
Why does she have to use obvious animals as "allies of the Shifter", like snakes and stuff?
Okay, Chase is like, "If you eat meat, you will pay the ultimate price! That's right: become mute forever!"
Seriously? I'd rather become mute. I thought the ULTIMATE PRICE was death or something.
I love the foxes. "Don't shove me, Dill!" "I'll shove you when I please."
Retarded. Chase is like, "No, we shall have no army. It's better that way." Well, yeah, if you WANT to lose.
Okay, come on, this is the SECOND TIME! Ari was supposed to find the Old Mare of the Mountain and the OMM finds HER!!! This is almost as bad as the ruby quest.
Okay, that prophecy? Whatever. I'll call the Tolkien estate myself. "6 companions...so be it...you shall be the Fellowship of the Scepter."
Okay, Lori is supposed to go with them to fulfill the prophecy, and Lori doesn't want to go. Ari's all, "OH no, what will I do now?" Um, how about MAKE HER GO rather than ASK her?
Atalanta: And you must be alert to danger.
Toby: What kind of danger?
"Atalanta gazed at him. The black-and-white unicorn was the rudest herdmate they had ever had."
What's rude about wanting to know what you're up against?
"'I'm not going now.' Lori folded her arms across her chest. 'I'm spending the night in a real bed. I'll think about leaving in the morning.'
Ari marched over to her. She grabbed Lori's shoulders in both hands and stared directly into her face. Ari dropped her voice to a fierce whisper. 'You. Will. Do. What. I. Say.'"
:O Dang, go Ari. I like how this is the one time she stands up to Lori with force.
OMG, Atalanta gives Ari something called THE STAR BOTTLE to be used only when there is no way out. Geee, sounds a lot like something Frodo received from Galadriel....
Ari complains about carrying all Lori's crap. I thought you liked hard work???
Lol. Dill and Basil totally reminded me of "the little foxes" from Song of Solomon.
"The chubby landlord flushed bright pink. He bit his mustache to hide his pleasure in Ari's kiss."
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat???
"Then, out of the castle flew the Shifter himself - this time transformed into the shape of a black dragon. His body was thick with muscle. His long wings sprang from his shoulders, stretched out like those of a gigantic wasp. His iron hooves grew grossly large. He had not one horn on his head but two, one behind each ear, curling up above his head in a huge ram's arc."
Wait, is this a dragon or a unicorn? Cuz dragons don't have hooves.
Their disguises sound JUST LIKE the orc uniforms Sam and Frodo wore in "Return of the King".
Okay, two twelve-year-old girls and a unicorn could pass as dark soldiers, but a dog and two foxes? You'd have to be REALLY stupid not to see through that.
The foxes threaten to leave Lori, but Ari's all, "We're all in this together." Right...just like "High School Musical".
Ari has Anakin-Syndrome: the desire to save everyone.
Ha. Ari gets Chase to eat soap and convince the other soldiers that they have rabies. Pretty smart.
Laaaaaaame. Mary Stanton basically copied the snake-shifting out of "The Silver Chair".
AAAAAAAAAARGH! Arianna whips out the Star Bottle when Lady Kylie attacks Lori and it shines a very bright light into her eyes. OMG!!! SAM! SHELOB!!! YOU PLAGIARIST!!!
Oh, now that Arianna has the scepter, her past becomes completely clear.
And now they're back across the Gap. Um, cool? Ari seems WAAAY too happy about this. Whatever.
Coming right up, we have a Madison Finn!!! #7, tho, seeing as I'll probably NEVER have #6.
Plot: Arianna and Co. are still questing for that scepter. Turns out it's in the Valley of Fear, a Mordor-like land full of demon unicorns, volcanic ash, and *gasp* THE SHIFTER HIMSELF!!!
Um, while questing, Chase finds out that some of the animals have turned to the Dark Side and are eating other animals. Uh...your point? Apparently, that's now how things are in Balinor. Chase freaks out.
Yeah. Um, nothing really interesting happens. Ari complains a lot about being the princess and Atalanta tells her how special and right she is to feel that way. Then Lori tells everyone she wants to go home, and they're like, "STOP COMPLAINING!!!"
So they hear this prophecy from the Old Mare of the Mountain:
Six shall find the Scepter Royal,
The quick, the smart, the brave, the loyal,
Of humans there shall be but two,
One young and one whose past is new,
Of Six who go, two wait to learn,
Three of Six shall not return
Um, yeah, way to not copy LOTR. It turns out the Six are: Arianna, Chase, Dill and Basil (two foxes), Lincoln, and Lori.
Lori is sooo not happy about that.
So they go on the quest, dressed like orcs, or soldiers of darkness, or whatever.
It's SOOOOOOOOO hard, and Arianna is noble about everything. Hate.
So they get to the castle (um, that was easy), and Lady Kylie is there (you know, the evil lady from Book #2 who tried to capture Ari and almost killed Lincoln?) with the scepter. Turns out Lori betrayed everyone or something and was in league with Lady Kylie. Oh, but it's all right, she didn't know Kylie was evil. So there's a battle, but Kylie gets pwned.
So they're trying to escape, but then Lori falls into THE PIT (some scary place where the slaves are kept), and Ari tries to follow her, but trips and falls in, too, and now they're all back at Glacier River Farm.
Confusing? Do I suck at summarizing? Both? I'm sorry if you totally didn't understand any of that.
More notes:
The first four paragraphs begin with "Atalanta".
HOW DO SILVER AND WHITE FIT INTO THE RAINBOW??
AARGH mahogany and gold are NOT THE SAME!!
Aw. Lori admits to being homesick. You can't not feel a little bit sorry for her.
I like how Lori says what I'm thinking about Ari: "I suppose you're going to tell me you can't talk because you're in sooooo much pain."
Mary Stanton needs to stop writing incomplete sentences.
Aargh. Ari doesn't want to become a cruel and selfish leader. She's sooo wise!
Lies, lies. Atalanta's all, "You could go back to Glacier River Farm, where you'd go to school and make new friends!" Weren't Anne and Frank planning to homeschool? Just saying.
Ha. They said "garrison". Long story.
All unicorns are mentally retarded.
Lori: You get more wood. What am I, your slave?
Toby: What? The great me?
Dr. Bohnes is back...and she brought a pack of wolves. They totally reminded me of mistwolves.
"Um...uh...welcome." Way to go, Ari.
Ew, the wolves are drooling over Chase.
Chase: My good wolf, who commits the hunt? And when? Tell me!
Rufus: The big cats, as well as my pack. The bears. The ferrets. The great birds.
I'm sorry, but I found that really funny. LOOK OUT, EVERYBODY, HUNGRY FERRETS ON THE LOOSE!
Lori: Well, honestly. This is stupid. It's the way things are. I mean, I'm sorry, but that's what the world's like. Big fish eat little fish. Little fish eat teeny fish.
Um, yeah. Can you honestly say that the wolves, bears, and FERRETS are surviving on bugs and grass? That's not a lot of protein. Ooh, this is the part where Chase flips out:
Chase: Not here.
Lori: But-
Chase: NOT HERE IN BALINOR!
Heh. Toby.
"We can't, adn that's final, missy. Eat your cheese. And if you're not going to eat that apple, giv eit to me."
"Get your own apple."
Lol. I'll be saying that all day. "EAT YOUR CHEESE!"
Ooh, everyone's talking about Lori.
"Ari was too far away to hear, but she could guess they were talking about: how bossy she was, how ignorant of the realities of life, how stubborn."
Yeah, that describes you to a T, Ari.
"There is something trailing us."
"Following us? What do you mean, trailing us?"
WHAT ELSE COULD HE MEAN???
How Indiana Jones of you, Chase.
"I hope it's not a snake. Anything except a-"
He gets attacked by a snake.
So the head of the Animal Council is a lion...named Vanax. Lol, rhymes with Xanax?
Why does she have to use obvious animals as "allies of the Shifter", like snakes and stuff?
Okay, Chase is like, "If you eat meat, you will pay the ultimate price! That's right: become mute forever!"
Seriously? I'd rather become mute. I thought the ULTIMATE PRICE was death or something.
I love the foxes. "Don't shove me, Dill!" "I'll shove you when I please."
Retarded. Chase is like, "No, we shall have no army. It's better that way." Well, yeah, if you WANT to lose.
Okay, come on, this is the SECOND TIME! Ari was supposed to find the Old Mare of the Mountain and the OMM finds HER!!! This is almost as bad as the ruby quest.
Okay, that prophecy? Whatever. I'll call the Tolkien estate myself. "6 companions...so be it...you shall be the Fellowship of the Scepter."
Okay, Lori is supposed to go with them to fulfill the prophecy, and Lori doesn't want to go. Ari's all, "OH no, what will I do now?" Um, how about MAKE HER GO rather than ASK her?
Atalanta: And you must be alert to danger.
Toby: What kind of danger?
"Atalanta gazed at him. The black-and-white unicorn was the rudest herdmate they had ever had."
What's rude about wanting to know what you're up against?
"'I'm not going now.' Lori folded her arms across her chest. 'I'm spending the night in a real bed. I'll think about leaving in the morning.'
Ari marched over to her. She grabbed Lori's shoulders in both hands and stared directly into her face. Ari dropped her voice to a fierce whisper. 'You. Will. Do. What. I. Say.'"
:O Dang, go Ari. I like how this is the one time she stands up to Lori with force.
OMG, Atalanta gives Ari something called THE STAR BOTTLE to be used only when there is no way out. Geee, sounds a lot like something Frodo received from Galadriel....
Ari complains about carrying all Lori's crap. I thought you liked hard work???
Lol. Dill and Basil totally reminded me of "the little foxes" from Song of Solomon.
"The chubby landlord flushed bright pink. He bit his mustache to hide his pleasure in Ari's kiss."
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat???
"Then, out of the castle flew the Shifter himself - this time transformed into the shape of a black dragon. His body was thick with muscle. His long wings sprang from his shoulders, stretched out like those of a gigantic wasp. His iron hooves grew grossly large. He had not one horn on his head but two, one behind each ear, curling up above his head in a huge ram's arc."
Wait, is this a dragon or a unicorn? Cuz dragons don't have hooves.
Their disguises sound JUST LIKE the orc uniforms Sam and Frodo wore in "Return of the King".
Okay, two twelve-year-old girls and a unicorn could pass as dark soldiers, but a dog and two foxes? You'd have to be REALLY stupid not to see through that.
The foxes threaten to leave Lori, but Ari's all, "We're all in this together." Right...just like "High School Musical".
Ari has Anakin-Syndrome: the desire to save everyone.
Ha. Ari gets Chase to eat soap and convince the other soldiers that they have rabies. Pretty smart.
Laaaaaaame. Mary Stanton basically copied the snake-shifting out of "The Silver Chair".
AAAAAAAAAARGH! Arianna whips out the Star Bottle when Lady Kylie attacks Lori and it shines a very bright light into her eyes. OMG!!! SAM! SHELOB!!! YOU PLAGIARIST!!!
Oh, now that Arianna has the scepter, her past becomes completely clear.
And now they're back across the Gap. Um, cool? Ari seems WAAAY too happy about this. Whatever.
Coming right up, we have a Madison Finn!!! #7, tho, seeing as I'll probably NEVER have #6.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Where are they getting these titles, or Horseshoe Trilogies #2: Last Hope
Yeah, so I haven't really posted at all since Winter Break started. Whatever. I haven't been reading a lot. Oh, and I've been playing Sims.
Plot: We're back with Josie Grace, the annoying British girl with a love of horses. This time, however, they're getting rid of Hope, the "ugly" horse.
And no one likes Hope because she's SOOOOOOOOOOO ugly.
Yeah, people are SO AWFUL.
So all Josie does is walk around feeling depressed the entire time, because no one likes Hope, and then this old woman from an animal sanctuary offers to buy her, and Josie is like, "NO WAY!!!"
Um, nice, Josie.
Moron.
So this woman in charge of a home for...for...I think it's either abused children or children with ADHD...something. Anyway, the children go there to get professional care and love and stuff, and the woman wants to use Hope for all that fun stuff.
Mary Grace is all, "I don't know," but then the kids come and jump on Hope and don't think she's ugly, and Hope loves it.
Yaaay.
Laaaaaaaame.
More notes:
Hope looks fine to me on the cover, and I really doubt that people make THAT big a deal about how she looks. Stupid.
Yay, lying is condoned.
Okay, all they do in this book is go, "Oh, poor Hope, she's soooo ugly. She'll never be sold." Well, no, not with THAT kind of attitude.
I just think this is weird:
Tom: And how's Jill coping? I used to look after her chestnut horse, Marmalade, you know. She was so upset when he had to be sold.
Not only is Marmalade BAY (totally different from chestnut), but why did he feel the need to throw "chestnut" in there? You could've just said, "...after her horse, Marmalade..." IT JUST WEIRDS ME OUT!! IT SOUNDS SO WRONG!!!
Okay, I can kind of see why people wouldn't want to buy Faith, because I have a HUUUGE prejudice against albino horses, and get really grossed out whenever I see one. Like, they seriously make me want to vomit.
I've noticed that every chapter ends with Josie either saying something moving/touching/emotional or thinking something desperate or sad.
Example: What if no one would look beyond Hope's plain appearance and see her sweet nature? What would happen then?
"She liked Ben, though they weren't best friends in the way that she and Anna were."
Umm...that makes it sound like everyone she knows HAS to be her best friend. Or is that just me??? AARGH.
If you were trotting, wouldn't you be thrown back and forth, not side to side? Just wondering.
Oh dear, Hope gets sweet itch!!!
Okay, it really annoys me when people that are the teensiest bit older than me are all, "Respect your elders." It kind of peeves me off and 9 times out of 10 I'm bigger than they are, so it's like, "Do you REALLY want to mess with this??"
"I'm not a beginner. I've had five lessons."
Oh, then that means I'm a freaking expert.
I suppose we as readers are supposed to be proud of Mary Grace for standing up for Hope and herself, but she gets pwned comeback wise.
Josie's father is putting on a musical. What teacher in his right mind would put on "Grease"? Ugh, I hate what Josie says.
"They're doing a version of Grease - you know, that rock-and-roll musical. John Travolta was in the film."
Um, duh. I personally don't know anybody who hasn't heard of Grease.
I don't know why EVERYONE is so opposed to Hope having to go to the animal sanctuary. People give up their dogs and cats to the Humane Society when they want them to find a good home, so why is it a bad idea for horses???
Haaaa. "There was something moving in Mrs. Peabody's bosom!" Chestburster!!
Aaaw, it turns out to be a baby bat. I love bats.
Wth, Anna and Ben have dark hair, eyes, and olive skin. Their mom has blonde hair and blue eyes. ???????? IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE??
Okay, Josie and Anna are out on a ride when these boys start harassing them. Hm, they're on bikes and are in 8th grade...sound familiar?? Anna's all, "Ignore them." !!!!!!! Yeah, thanks, it never WORKS.
BAM!
Tommy Rand (JK!): Look at the ugly one! What's the matter with her? Looks like all her hair's dropping out. Couldn't you find a better horse to ride than that old nag?
Anna: She's got a horse version of acne. Something you'd know all about. Maybe there's a good cream you could recommend?
Ugh, and Josie's all, "You're making it worse!" Picturing her with her snotty British accent and breathy voice. HATE HATE HATE.
Oooh, that boy's mad, he just called you a Stuck-Up Princess!!!
Yeah, very classy, Dad. "You shouldn't be sad, I'M the one trapped with teenagers singing showtunes!"
Josie is amazed that a kid her age could draw well. Or more like because SHE can't draw like Michelangelo, no one else should.
Why would you want to go see some stables if there are no horses in them, when you could be looking at RABBITS??
"Oh no, you don't want Hope. She's a bit stocky with quite a broad back."
Like abused/neglected/afflicted children are going to care. I wouldn't. Um, unless it was albino....
Josie: Oh, stop! I think I like the old, tactless Anna better!
:O That's so mean. I'd be so offended if one of my friends said that to me. Okay, whenever Anna semi-insults Josie, Josie freaks out, but whenever she insults Anna, it's comic relief?
No, no, don't tell a story, please, Josie, NOOOOO.
Tommy just randomly screams??
OH NO, one of the children that comes to visit Hope is BLIND!! Aaagh, I know where they're going with this: they're going to make a big deal about her being blind, so she doesn't care how a horse looks!! NOOOO, this is NOT the Lifetime Channel!!
There she goes again, getting choked up.
Aaah, I started drooling when they were talking about Chinese food.
Lol, chinois. Je ne parle japonais. Tu parles japonais??
Lynne, Anna's mom, is wearing a denim shirt.
Ugh, Lynne and Josie point out in front of everybody that Anna is tactless. Sooo mean.
WHY DO THEY ALWAYS HAVE TO VOTE ON EVERYTHING?? It's so obvious that Hope is perfect with children and would love to live at the Friendship House.
"Apples, carrots, and turnips had been hung across the lower part of the stable doors, and Hope and Charity were busy nibbling them off their strings."
What? That sounds like a colic situation. The Pony Pals would not approve.
Whaaa?? "The joint's jumping." That sounds rad, cat. Golly gee, I sure darn wish there was a hop tonight, so we could all JAM!!
Ugh, and the book ends with a bunch of little kids all hugging and kissing Hope and Hope looking SOOO happy. Gag.
So yeah. A VERY, VERY awful Unicorns of Balinor tomorrow. If you don't hate Ari now, you most likely will tomorrow. Maybe a Madison Finn if I'm not busy.
Plot: We're back with Josie Grace, the annoying British girl with a love of horses. This time, however, they're getting rid of Hope, the "ugly" horse.
And no one likes Hope because she's SOOOOOOOOOOO ugly.
Yeah, people are SO AWFUL.
So all Josie does is walk around feeling depressed the entire time, because no one likes Hope, and then this old woman from an animal sanctuary offers to buy her, and Josie is like, "NO WAY!!!"
Um, nice, Josie.
Moron.
So this woman in charge of a home for...for...I think it's either abused children or children with ADHD...something. Anyway, the children go there to get professional care and love and stuff, and the woman wants to use Hope for all that fun stuff.
Mary Grace is all, "I don't know," but then the kids come and jump on Hope and don't think she's ugly, and Hope loves it.
Yaaay.
Laaaaaaaame.
More notes:
Hope looks fine to me on the cover, and I really doubt that people make THAT big a deal about how she looks. Stupid.
Yay, lying is condoned.
Okay, all they do in this book is go, "Oh, poor Hope, she's soooo ugly. She'll never be sold." Well, no, not with THAT kind of attitude.
I just think this is weird:
Tom: And how's Jill coping? I used to look after her chestnut horse, Marmalade, you know. She was so upset when he had to be sold.
Not only is Marmalade BAY (totally different from chestnut), but why did he feel the need to throw "chestnut" in there? You could've just said, "...after her horse, Marmalade..." IT JUST WEIRDS ME OUT!! IT SOUNDS SO WRONG!!!
Okay, I can kind of see why people wouldn't want to buy Faith, because I have a HUUUGE prejudice against albino horses, and get really grossed out whenever I see one. Like, they seriously make me want to vomit.
I've noticed that every chapter ends with Josie either saying something moving/touching/emotional or thinking something desperate or sad.
Example: What if no one would look beyond Hope's plain appearance and see her sweet nature? What would happen then?
"She liked Ben, though they weren't best friends in the way that she and Anna were."
Umm...that makes it sound like everyone she knows HAS to be her best friend. Or is that just me??? AARGH.
If you were trotting, wouldn't you be thrown back and forth, not side to side? Just wondering.
Oh dear, Hope gets sweet itch!!!
Okay, it really annoys me when people that are the teensiest bit older than me are all, "Respect your elders." It kind of peeves me off and 9 times out of 10 I'm bigger than they are, so it's like, "Do you REALLY want to mess with this??"
"I'm not a beginner. I've had five lessons."
Oh, then that means I'm a freaking expert.
I suppose we as readers are supposed to be proud of Mary Grace for standing up for Hope and herself, but she gets pwned comeback wise.
Josie's father is putting on a musical. What teacher in his right mind would put on "Grease"? Ugh, I hate what Josie says.
"They're doing a version of Grease - you know, that rock-and-roll musical. John Travolta was in the film."
Um, duh. I personally don't know anybody who hasn't heard of Grease.
I don't know why EVERYONE is so opposed to Hope having to go to the animal sanctuary. People give up their dogs and cats to the Humane Society when they want them to find a good home, so why is it a bad idea for horses???
Haaaa. "There was something moving in Mrs. Peabody's bosom!" Chestburster!!
Aaaw, it turns out to be a baby bat. I love bats.
Wth, Anna and Ben have dark hair, eyes, and olive skin. Their mom has blonde hair and blue eyes. ???????? IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE??
Okay, Josie and Anna are out on a ride when these boys start harassing them. Hm, they're on bikes and are in 8th grade...sound familiar?? Anna's all, "Ignore them." !!!!!!! Yeah, thanks, it never WORKS.
BAM!
Tommy Rand (JK!): Look at the ugly one! What's the matter with her? Looks like all her hair's dropping out. Couldn't you find a better horse to ride than that old nag?
Anna: She's got a horse version of acne. Something you'd know all about. Maybe there's a good cream you could recommend?
Ugh, and Josie's all, "You're making it worse!" Picturing her with her snotty British accent and breathy voice. HATE HATE HATE.
Oooh, that boy's mad, he just called you a Stuck-Up Princess!!!
Yeah, very classy, Dad. "You shouldn't be sad, I'M the one trapped with teenagers singing showtunes!"
Josie is amazed that a kid her age could draw well. Or more like because SHE can't draw like Michelangelo, no one else should.
Why would you want to go see some stables if there are no horses in them, when you could be looking at RABBITS??
"Oh no, you don't want Hope. She's a bit stocky with quite a broad back."
Like abused/neglected/afflicted children are going to care. I wouldn't. Um, unless it was albino....
Josie: Oh, stop! I think I like the old, tactless Anna better!
:O That's so mean. I'd be so offended if one of my friends said that to me. Okay, whenever Anna semi-insults Josie, Josie freaks out, but whenever she insults Anna, it's comic relief?
No, no, don't tell a story, please, Josie, NOOOOO.
Tommy just randomly screams??
OH NO, one of the children that comes to visit Hope is BLIND!! Aaagh, I know where they're going with this: they're going to make a big deal about her being blind, so she doesn't care how a horse looks!! NOOOO, this is NOT the Lifetime Channel!!
There she goes again, getting choked up.
Aaah, I started drooling when they were talking about Chinese food.
Lol, chinois. Je ne parle japonais. Tu parles japonais??
Lynne, Anna's mom, is wearing a denim shirt.
Ugh, Lynne and Josie point out in front of everybody that Anna is tactless. Sooo mean.
WHY DO THEY ALWAYS HAVE TO VOTE ON EVERYTHING?? It's so obvious that Hope is perfect with children and would love to live at the Friendship House.
"Apples, carrots, and turnips had been hung across the lower part of the stable doors, and Hope and Charity were busy nibbling them off their strings."
What? That sounds like a colic situation. The Pony Pals would not approve.
Whaaa?? "The joint's jumping." That sounds rad, cat. Golly gee, I sure darn wish there was a hop tonight, so we could all JAM!!
Ugh, and the book ends with a bunch of little kids all hugging and kissing Hope and Hope looking SOOO happy. Gag.
So yeah. A VERY, VERY awful Unicorns of Balinor tomorrow. If you don't hate Ari now, you most likely will tomorrow. Maybe a Madison Finn if I'm not busy.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Ooh, shiny things, or Avalon #2: Web of Magic: All That Glitters
Seriously, this is my favorite Avalon book. No lie. I mean, look at that sparkly cover. I think the pictures of the d-flies are innacurate, though. They look like crap.
Plot: Kara is rather frustrated with Adriane and Emily. First of all, they have magic gems and she doesn't. Also, they expect her to WORK when all she wants to do is party with her friends.
Mostly, Adriane is overreacting about EVERYTHING, Kara is being kind of ditzy, and Emily is just being annoying and peacemaker-y.
Then weird things start happening to Kara! Banshees (tortured souls cursed to wander the Shadowlands, of course) start attacking her, she's being followed around by the mysterious cat from book #1 [who is named Lyra], and she finally has her own magic jewel! It looks just like a unicorn horn. However, Emily and Adriane freak out and tell her not to use it.
Naturally, Kara doesn't listen.
Whenever she uses the jewel, chaos ensues. The magical little piece of shiny rock attracts all kinds of creatures, from adorable little dragonflies (literally miniature dragons that fly) and...*gasp* BANSHEES! One attacks Kara in her house and tries to take the jewel, but she pwns it, burning off part of her hair in the process. She tries to fix it, and it grows longer, but then it doesn't STOP! She calls Emily and Adriane, and Adriane screws it up even more; though she gets it to stop growing, Kara's blonde hair is now rainbow-colored.
Kara goes to school the next day and is shocked when the principal starts talking about the work she's done at Ravenswood Wildlife Preserve, and is then forced on stage, where her shocking hair color(s) is (are?) revealed. Emily saves her and says it's a symbol of unity or something. Kara realizes she really likes working at the Preserve and starts treating Emily and Adriane (even though Adriane's a loser) nicer, and gets her loser friends to stop making fun of them.
On Saturday, she takes a little trip to the mall to get her hair dyed to its natural color when she's attacked by some more banshees. Lyra saves her, but then gets injured by being stupid. Kara is majorly confused and kind of sad when a unicorn just randomly walks up to her and tells her he can save Lyra. Um...yay?
First stop...a magicalish place, where Kara meets some wraiths who tell her to save their sisters and convince her that the unicorn jewel is not hers to keep.
They go to a field, where they meet up with Adriane and Emily...big surprise. A creepy old woman tries to get Kara to give her the jewel, monologuing about the love of power and crap like that, but Kara gives it to the banshees, who are really some whacked-out ugly wraiths. Old creepy woman disappears with a snarl.
Um, yay.
And Emily saves Lyra after a major pep talk from Kara.
So Kara becomes a better person. The end.
Oh, and they set up the Ravenswood website.
And the epilogue was about mistwolves. Tartar sauce. I guess that means the next book is about Adriane.
You know, I took that character quiz again, and I'm still a warrior. Darn.
More notes:
Oookay, apparently Kara has enough clothes to cover every available surface and fill her closet. NOT STEREOTYPED AT ALL.
credhed, beachbunny, and goodgollymolly? Try worst screennames ever.
Duh! Your outfit for seventh grade is WAY more important than endangered animals!
Ugh, Kara's friends suck. They're so mean.
Okay, I take back what I said about her friends' screennames, because Emily's is docdolittle. :P
Yay, Kara's actually good at school! We're breaking down barriers!
I hate it in books where the main character screams and then looks around to see who did it. HOW CAN YOU NOT REALIZE YOU'RE SCREAMING??
"That was, like, so weird!" Thanks, Heather.
"Been a rough morning. Kara had like a major freakout in homeroom." Don't you love it when your friends talk about you...in front of you?
I'm having a REALLY hard time picturing this cute Marcus guy that Kara likes. I'm switching back and forth between Penn Badgley and Garrett Hedlund.
"Next thing you know, monsters are gonna be falling out of the sky!"
Funny you should mention that....
This is the moment Lyra chooses to fall out of the sky.
Okay, Lyra was the size of an ocelot in the first book. Now she's the size of a leopard, which is significantly bigger than an ocelot. How did it get so big??
I somehow don't picture Adriane very tall. I picture her and Emily quite short. Like 5'3". And Kara maybe 5'5" or 5'6".
Red and auburn aren't necessarily the same color. STOP CONFUSING ME!!
Adriane only says she likes being a loner because she knows she's incapable of making friends.
Lyra: *pops out of bushes* Rawr.
Kara: Aaah!
Adriane: WHAT DID YOU DO, KARA!!?? RAAAAH SNARL GRAWFF!
They make it seem like Kara is the ringleader of her little clique, but her friends are way pushy.
I highly doubt you are the only three girls on Earth that know that magic is real, Kara.
I hate when they describe Adriane using magic. They try to make it sound all cool and it sounds so retarded, and she obviously takes herself so seriously. All it is is her taking a karate stance and spinning around.
Oooh, Adriane called Kara a "Barbie". :O Whatever, that would pretty much be a compliment. I mean, I'd love to have a ridiculously thin waist, a tight butt, and nice boobs. Plus "immaculate" hair (that's for you, Lucy Daniels).
Kara thinks it's weird talking to a ferret, and then she remembers Ozzie is really an ELF trapped inside a ferret's body! Yeah, cuz that's not weird at all.
Kara: Why does that garden have an X on it?
Adriane: It's the hedge maze. Gran said you can get lost in there for days, so it's off-limits for tours.
Hmm, could that possibly be FORESHADOWING of someone getting lost in the maze???
Kara offers to have her friends help with the website and Adriane's like, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! They're loudmouths!" And you're a ho....
Why is Kara shocked that Adriane doesn't consider her a friend? That seemed PRETTY obvious.
"She imagined medieval torches encircling the magnificent garden...with the rocking sounds of Sampleton Malls blasting from the stage! She giggled. And Kara, the princess of the ball, in the most rad leather-and-silk gown, dancing the night away with the most handsome prince. Adriane can stay home and be the wicked stepsister, she thought with a laugh as she twirled into the rose gardens."
Proof that all girls have a Cinderella fantasy. No lie, EVERY GIRL has one.
Lame. She gets lost in the hedge maze a mere 5 pages later. It could have been a final showdown in the maze!!! But no...waste all that good foreshadowing.
Lol. Kara pictures herself:
Lustrous blond hair, creamy skin, dewy red lips - no, she'd sowrn off lip gloss long ago, make that pale pink lips.
Quick! A new pair of Nikes with shock soles!
Kara's first attempt at magic:
"Think! Do what Adriane did. Kara concentrated - left, right, arms together, swing tight.... She pinwheeled her arms, whipping the crystal shell around, and landed on one knee, jewel pointed toward the monster. Tiny sparkles fizzled from the tip...and died. Kara frowned. That cheer routine killed at the home game."
I haaate Ozzie. Storm is annoying about honor and crap like that, but Ozzie is SOOOOOO annoying.
Balthazar (the magical winged pony): It looked like a banshee.
Kara: A what?
Balthazar: A tortured soul doomed to wander the Shadowlands. [I bet he could hardly keep himself from saying, "Duh."]
Adriane: Thank goodness you were there! We can't have monsters running around the preserve washing clothes!
HAHAHAHA they find Mr. Gardener's computer and a voice says, "Welcome to the magic web." Lol. You've got mail.
Mr. Gardener owns Ravenswood, but disappeared a while back.
"Girls, it's got rhythm, and I have got the moves!" But you're white....
:O Kara went to the LIBRARY!!?? Shocking. "Hmm, geeky influence, with a touch of dweeb."
Okay, everything Kara's friends say endz with a z. I guezz that makez it glitter fabulouz.
Joey has a huge crush on Adriane, lol.
This is the lamest party ever, Kara. All you guys are doing is eating...and eating.
Kara's brother is an idiot. "Kara, your ice cream's getting cold!"
Wait, Kara has a tan? I thought she had creamy skin.
Whoa, a banshee ambushes her in the Jacuzzi!
I'm picturing Kara naked during the fight scene that follows. Not for any pervy reason, but it said something about her stripping, so what am I supposed to do?
Kara: What happened to it?
Lyra: Something frightened the creature.
Kara: What? Me?
I don't know, a naked blonde girl wielding a shiny jewel is pretty frightening....
Wait, Emily and Adriane are there now. Is Kara naked or not??? SO CONFUSED!!
Awww. The dragonflies have names! I forget which color corresponds to which dragonfly, but their names are Goldie, Barney, Rocky, Fiona, and Fred; Fiona is red and Goldie is...yellow.
Adriane, shut up and stop making hair puns.
Jealous, I want rainbow hair. I don't know why Kara hates it so much.
I want a blue plaid jacket...but I wouldn't wear it with a pink cotton beret.
Dragonflies appear with a pop. Goldie appears and Kara pretends she farted. ....
You can't send someone home for having cool hair. Dressing like a slut, yes. Having cool hair, no. At least not at my school.
Coalition. Nice word, Emily.
Kyle: Who'd a thunk under all that black is a fasion designer!
Adriane: I'm not big on fashion.
Heather: That's for sure.
Ooooooooooooh.
I like how all the punk bands have stupid names. Like Toad Force! or Smash Fish!
Awww, Joey and Adriane bond over Smash Fish. And Adriane BLUSHES. Whaaat, she likes boys??
Aaaah, someone sends Kara a magic computer message: I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
Kara: How do you know when a jewel is really for you?
Adriane: Our jewels changed as we used them. It's like they reflect a part of who we are. You just know, Kara.
Emily: In your heart.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! *gag*
Ozzie is so mean! "Maybe it's a test. Maybe you're not the blazing star."
Having a super hard time picturing this pure white unicorn without him looking like a unipony.
Lyra is being attacked by mall security guards!! Oh, she has wings all of a sudden, how convenient.
Oooh, she falls to the ground.
Why do all magical creatures speak in italics??
The wraiths sound like wannabe LOTR elves...only green.
The banshees use z's instead of s's, too. "Plesszze, help uszz."
Ozzie: Look what they've made!
Adriane: It looks like a-
Emily: -dreamcatcher!
Ugh, just like Stephen King. And now they'll save a kid with Downs Syndrome from bullies and realize that he is the dreamcatcher weaving them all together.
Whaaaaat? The unicorn has a harem??
"You have freed my maidens, and I am forever grateful."
Maybe he's a pimp.
Kara's friends are still lame.
I think Adriane has the coolest chain for her jewel...it's turquoise.
Their password for the secret website is AVALON. Yeah, people won't be able to figure THAT one out.
I HAAAATE mistwolves.
So I'll be doing the second book in the Horseshoe Trilogies, and I might be able to do more than one per day, since I'm on Christmas break!!! But Avalon #3 will be about Adriane. Laaaame.
Plot: Kara is rather frustrated with Adriane and Emily. First of all, they have magic gems and she doesn't. Also, they expect her to WORK when all she wants to do is party with her friends.
Mostly, Adriane is overreacting about EVERYTHING, Kara is being kind of ditzy, and Emily is just being annoying and peacemaker-y.
Then weird things start happening to Kara! Banshees (tortured souls cursed to wander the Shadowlands, of course) start attacking her, she's being followed around by the mysterious cat from book #1 [who is named Lyra], and she finally has her own magic jewel! It looks just like a unicorn horn. However, Emily and Adriane freak out and tell her not to use it.
Naturally, Kara doesn't listen.
Whenever she uses the jewel, chaos ensues. The magical little piece of shiny rock attracts all kinds of creatures, from adorable little dragonflies (literally miniature dragons that fly) and...*gasp* BANSHEES! One attacks Kara in her house and tries to take the jewel, but she pwns it, burning off part of her hair in the process. She tries to fix it, and it grows longer, but then it doesn't STOP! She calls Emily and Adriane, and Adriane screws it up even more; though she gets it to stop growing, Kara's blonde hair is now rainbow-colored.
Kara goes to school the next day and is shocked when the principal starts talking about the work she's done at Ravenswood Wildlife Preserve, and is then forced on stage, where her shocking hair color(s) is (are?) revealed. Emily saves her and says it's a symbol of unity or something. Kara realizes she really likes working at the Preserve and starts treating Emily and Adriane (even though Adriane's a loser) nicer, and gets her loser friends to stop making fun of them.
On Saturday, she takes a little trip to the mall to get her hair dyed to its natural color when she's attacked by some more banshees. Lyra saves her, but then gets injured by being stupid. Kara is majorly confused and kind of sad when a unicorn just randomly walks up to her and tells her he can save Lyra. Um...yay?
First stop...a magicalish place, where Kara meets some wraiths who tell her to save their sisters and convince her that the unicorn jewel is not hers to keep.
They go to a field, where they meet up with Adriane and Emily...big surprise. A creepy old woman tries to get Kara to give her the jewel, monologuing about the love of power and crap like that, but Kara gives it to the banshees, who are really some whacked-out ugly wraiths. Old creepy woman disappears with a snarl.
Um, yay.
And Emily saves Lyra after a major pep talk from Kara.
So Kara becomes a better person. The end.
Oh, and they set up the Ravenswood website.
And the epilogue was about mistwolves. Tartar sauce. I guess that means the next book is about Adriane.
You know, I took that character quiz again, and I'm still a warrior. Darn.
More notes:
Oookay, apparently Kara has enough clothes to cover every available surface and fill her closet. NOT STEREOTYPED AT ALL.
credhed, beachbunny, and goodgollymolly? Try worst screennames ever.
Duh! Your outfit for seventh grade is WAY more important than endangered animals!
Ugh, Kara's friends suck. They're so mean.
Okay, I take back what I said about her friends' screennames, because Emily's is docdolittle. :P
Yay, Kara's actually good at school! We're breaking down barriers!
I hate it in books where the main character screams and then looks around to see who did it. HOW CAN YOU NOT REALIZE YOU'RE SCREAMING??
"That was, like, so weird!" Thanks, Heather.
"Been a rough morning. Kara had like a major freakout in homeroom." Don't you love it when your friends talk about you...in front of you?
I'm having a REALLY hard time picturing this cute Marcus guy that Kara likes. I'm switching back and forth between Penn Badgley and Garrett Hedlund.
"Next thing you know, monsters are gonna be falling out of the sky!"
Funny you should mention that....
This is the moment Lyra chooses to fall out of the sky.
Okay, Lyra was the size of an ocelot in the first book. Now she's the size of a leopard, which is significantly bigger than an ocelot. How did it get so big??
I somehow don't picture Adriane very tall. I picture her and Emily quite short. Like 5'3". And Kara maybe 5'5" or 5'6".
Red and auburn aren't necessarily the same color. STOP CONFUSING ME!!
Adriane only says she likes being a loner because she knows she's incapable of making friends.
Lyra: *pops out of bushes* Rawr.
Kara: Aaah!
Adriane: WHAT DID YOU DO, KARA!!?? RAAAAH SNARL GRAWFF!
They make it seem like Kara is the ringleader of her little clique, but her friends are way pushy.
I highly doubt you are the only three girls on Earth that know that magic is real, Kara.
I hate when they describe Adriane using magic. They try to make it sound all cool and it sounds so retarded, and she obviously takes herself so seriously. All it is is her taking a karate stance and spinning around.
Oooh, Adriane called Kara a "Barbie". :O Whatever, that would pretty much be a compliment. I mean, I'd love to have a ridiculously thin waist, a tight butt, and nice boobs. Plus "immaculate" hair (that's for you, Lucy Daniels).
Kara thinks it's weird talking to a ferret, and then she remembers Ozzie is really an ELF trapped inside a ferret's body! Yeah, cuz that's not weird at all.
Kara: Why does that garden have an X on it?
Adriane: It's the hedge maze. Gran said you can get lost in there for days, so it's off-limits for tours.
Hmm, could that possibly be FORESHADOWING of someone getting lost in the maze???
Kara offers to have her friends help with the website and Adriane's like, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! They're loudmouths!" And you're a ho....
Why is Kara shocked that Adriane doesn't consider her a friend? That seemed PRETTY obvious.
"She imagined medieval torches encircling the magnificent garden...with the rocking sounds of Sampleton Malls blasting from the stage! She giggled. And Kara, the princess of the ball, in the most rad leather-and-silk gown, dancing the night away with the most handsome prince. Adriane can stay home and be the wicked stepsister, she thought with a laugh as she twirled into the rose gardens."
Proof that all girls have a Cinderella fantasy. No lie, EVERY GIRL has one.
Lame. She gets lost in the hedge maze a mere 5 pages later. It could have been a final showdown in the maze!!! But no...waste all that good foreshadowing.
Lol. Kara pictures herself:
Lustrous blond hair, creamy skin, dewy red lips - no, she'd sowrn off lip gloss long ago, make that pale pink lips.
Quick! A new pair of Nikes with shock soles!
Kara's first attempt at magic:
"Think! Do what Adriane did. Kara concentrated - left, right, arms together, swing tight.... She pinwheeled her arms, whipping the crystal shell around, and landed on one knee, jewel pointed toward the monster. Tiny sparkles fizzled from the tip...and died. Kara frowned. That cheer routine killed at the home game."
I haaate Ozzie. Storm is annoying about honor and crap like that, but Ozzie is SOOOOOO annoying.
Balthazar (the magical winged pony): It looked like a banshee.
Kara: A what?
Balthazar: A tortured soul doomed to wander the Shadowlands. [I bet he could hardly keep himself from saying, "Duh."]
Adriane: Thank goodness you were there! We can't have monsters running around the preserve washing clothes!
HAHAHAHA they find Mr. Gardener's computer and a voice says, "Welcome to the magic web." Lol. You've got mail.
Mr. Gardener owns Ravenswood, but disappeared a while back.
"Girls, it's got rhythm, and I have got the moves!" But you're white....
:O Kara went to the LIBRARY!!?? Shocking. "Hmm, geeky influence, with a touch of dweeb."
Okay, everything Kara's friends say endz with a z. I guezz that makez it glitter fabulouz.
Joey has a huge crush on Adriane, lol.
This is the lamest party ever, Kara. All you guys are doing is eating...and eating.
Kara's brother is an idiot. "Kara, your ice cream's getting cold!"
Wait, Kara has a tan? I thought she had creamy skin.
Whoa, a banshee ambushes her in the Jacuzzi!
I'm picturing Kara naked during the fight scene that follows. Not for any pervy reason, but it said something about her stripping, so what am I supposed to do?
Kara: What happened to it?
Lyra: Something frightened the creature.
Kara: What? Me?
I don't know, a naked blonde girl wielding a shiny jewel is pretty frightening....
Wait, Emily and Adriane are there now. Is Kara naked or not??? SO CONFUSED!!
Awww. The dragonflies have names! I forget which color corresponds to which dragonfly, but their names are Goldie, Barney, Rocky, Fiona, and Fred; Fiona is red and Goldie is...yellow.
Adriane, shut up and stop making hair puns.
Jealous, I want rainbow hair. I don't know why Kara hates it so much.
I want a blue plaid jacket...but I wouldn't wear it with a pink cotton beret.
Dragonflies appear with a pop. Goldie appears and Kara pretends she farted. ....
You can't send someone home for having cool hair. Dressing like a slut, yes. Having cool hair, no. At least not at my school.
Coalition. Nice word, Emily.
Kyle: Who'd a thunk under all that black is a fasion designer!
Adriane: I'm not big on fashion.
Heather: That's for sure.
Ooooooooooooh.
I like how all the punk bands have stupid names. Like Toad Force! or Smash Fish!
Awww, Joey and Adriane bond over Smash Fish. And Adriane BLUSHES. Whaaat, she likes boys??
Aaaah, someone sends Kara a magic computer message: I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
Kara: How do you know when a jewel is really for you?
Adriane: Our jewels changed as we used them. It's like they reflect a part of who we are. You just know, Kara.
Emily: In your heart.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! *gag*
Ozzie is so mean! "Maybe it's a test. Maybe you're not the blazing star."
Having a super hard time picturing this pure white unicorn without him looking like a unipony.
Lyra is being attacked by mall security guards!! Oh, she has wings all of a sudden, how convenient.
Oooh, she falls to the ground.
Why do all magical creatures speak in italics??
The wraiths sound like wannabe LOTR elves...only green.
The banshees use z's instead of s's, too. "Plesszze, help uszz."
Ozzie: Look what they've made!
Adriane: It looks like a-
Emily: -dreamcatcher!
Ugh, just like Stephen King. And now they'll save a kid with Downs Syndrome from bullies and realize that he is the dreamcatcher weaving them all together.
Whaaaaat? The unicorn has a harem??
"You have freed my maidens, and I am forever grateful."
Maybe he's a pimp.
Kara's friends are still lame.
I think Adriane has the coolest chain for her jewel...it's turquoise.
Their password for the secret website is AVALON. Yeah, people won't be able to figure THAT one out.
I HAAAATE mistwolves.
So I'll be doing the second book in the Horseshoe Trilogies, and I might be able to do more than one per day, since I'm on Christmas break!!! But Avalon #3 will be about Adriane. Laaaame.
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