Plot: As usual, Madison Finn has a lot on her plate. First of all, a crazy rainstorm caused her roof to leak...INSIDE HER ROOM!!! Even worse, Mom starts flirting with the Fix-It guy!!! Then comes the discovery of lost assignments, permission slips, and drugs (yeah right) in Madison's backpack. Oh, and she feels angry and pubescent and she doesn't know why, so she takes it out on people she likes. Angst, angst.
The plot's actually sort of stupid. The boys in Maddie's science class start acting TOTALLY immature (um, yeah, your point), and then the science teacher splits them into groups on the class field trip: boys versus girls!!! This puts Ivy and Madison on the same side!! :O Basically it's a lot of, "Oh no, I have to be friends with Ivy," and, "Boys are so stupid," so we will skip ahead to the field trip.
On the nature field trip, Madison and Egg get in a fight, and it's way retarded, and boys are just soooo stupid, but then Fiona gets stung by a bee. Normally that wouldn't be a big deal, but it turns out she's ALLERGIC to bees. This brings the Battle of the Sexes to an end, I guess?
So Madison gets home and receives an e-mail from Chet, Fiona's twin brother, where he admits he skipped out on the duck pond and needs information to complete his assignment. Madison thinks this is just hilarious and is all set to tell Aimee and Fiona...when she realizes they don't really care. They're not in her science class, after all. So she tells IVY. That's right, Poison Ivy. Ivy tells her to give Chet some bogus information to make him look like an idiot. Madison does it.
On the day of presentation, Hart and Chet do indeed look like idiots. And Madison and Ivy never speak again.
More notes:
Aimee: I think we should blow off homework and have a beauty night. At least before we eat dinner.
Madison: I have an English paper to write.
Aimee: But this will be more fun.
Madison: I guess you're right.
Way to go Madison. I'll be here when you fail that class.
Another book where lying is condoned.
"The Dickson Fix-It guy had finally arrived, with his gray hair and clothes drenched from the rain. His shirt read William on the pocket in red embroidered letters. When he smiled, Madison saw a huge gap between his front teeth."
Ewwww. Madison's mom thinks he's HOT.
"Please...call me Frannie." Desperate much?
Foreshadowing of Aimee's eating disorder.
"They had store-bought brownies for dessert, but Aimee only ate a corner of one."
Because she's anorexic.
Madison's password is 8 letters. I bet it's, "I luv Hart." I swear, I would bet a million bucks.
They're scanning the usernames in a chat room and one of them is Luckyduck. Wth, I'm in there??
Mr. Danehy comes in and asks what all the ruckus is about. Lol. He sounded very Snapelike when he said it. "WHAT IS ALL THIS RUMPUS!?" "Petrificus poopulous!"
Yay, oblivious science teacher!
How is it discriminatory that Mr. Danehy split the class into guys and girls??
Lol, Aimee. "Omg, I didn't think of that! We have to be bus buddies!"
Why does Fiona always feel the need to smile coyly at Egg and say something in a retarded sounding voice? "Sorry, Egg, but... *coyness*"
Madison wants to study Madonna for her woman's history paper.
I remember when school's had sociology as a class. Okay, not really, cuz that was in the 80's, but I've read Caroline B. Cooney books about it, lol.
Ugh, Lindsay Frost starts hitting on Hart. "Lindsay kept tossing her hair to one side, even though it wasn't long. Madison could tell that Lindsay thought Hart was cute, too."
Wth, Madison is suddenly all mean to Hart. "Whatever, I have to leave."
The boys in these books are really retarded. Actually, boys in general are retarded.
Egg: my old name Eggaway stinx so frm now on change ur mailbox to TheEggMan. C u bye.
Dan: Yo! whassup with our scrn names now they are like the same! Why don't you call yourself EggDrop or maybe Egghead instead LOL. Call me l8r g8r.
And what boy in their right mind would put, "Call me l8r g8r," at the end of an e-mail...to another guy???
HAAA! Madison gets an e-mail with the subject, "XXX Rated." Hm, I wonder what's inside.
"As Gramma Helen always said, 'Curiosity killed the cat.' Madison didn't want any dead cats."
Whaaaa? Bigwheels is on AIM at school. Don't they block that kind of thing?
OH NO! Francine Finn has been on "DATE-O-MAGIC"!
I hate how they say, "Older boys are soooo much more mature," every 5 pages. Because it's not true. Most of the time. Depends on how much older we're talking.
Ew, Madison's mom trashtalks her dad all the time. I hate when my parents do that to each other.
Awww, Maddie and her self-deprecating humor.
"I'm having a crisis, and it has to do with a four-letter word that I'm beginning to detest: D-a-t-e. I wish I could say the crisis about the word date is because three different boys want to ask me out. HA HA HA LOL - that isn't even close."
Yay, outfits! "After three more outfit tests, she finally picked the winning combinaion: faded jeans and an orange Boop-Dee-Doop T-shirt with a panda bear on the front. It even matched her striped socks."
I think I have that shirt. Yeah right, I wish.
Um, WHY IS LINDSAY WEARING OVERALLS AND A FLOPPY HAT???
More Egg and Fionaness. Adorable, I guess???
Ugh, retarded. Egg steals Ivy's nail polish, and passes it around the bus, but Madison gives it back to Ivy, so Egg's all, "YOU TRAITOR!!"
ROFL!!
"But Hart stepped in between the two. 'Give it a rest, Egg,' he said. Then he turned around toward Madison so close, they were nose to nose.
And he smiled."
Wth??? Kind of creepy yet really hilarious.
Ew, 7th grade girls attempting to flirt with 20-something nature guide.
"We'll be traveling through some wooded areas, so please be sure to stay on the trails and beware of poison ivy."
LOL.
Madison sits in duck poop. Noyce.
Aargh, why did I mark every page in this book?
Some guy hits Maddie in the shoulder with a Frisbee, and she's all, "YOU'RE TOAST, EGG! I MEANT IT. THAT GOES FOR ALL BOYS EVERYWHERE!" Wth???
Oh no, now Fiona and Egg are fighting about littering carrots!
"Let's shake a leg, then, shall we?" And with that, he shook a leg.
Lindsay Frost = REALLY freaking annoying.
Ha. Madison's weakness is Hart's hair.
Fiona passes out. Oh the violence.
Ahahahaha, I love Ivy. She has the worst insults ever.
Madison: *bumps into Ivy*
Ivy: WALK MUCH?
Jimmy the hot trial guide: You were so brave today.
Madison: Tanks. I mean, thanks.
Lol.
Hart doesn't like that Madison thinks Jimmy is a hottie. Jealous much?
I like how guys always have to top each other.
Egg: One time I got stung and had to go to the emergency room.
Hart: Well, I got stung by an ENTIRE BEEHIVE.
I say "hola" sometimes and I don't speak Spanish. Never mind. Bigwheels is stupid.
Madison's mom = huge hypocrite.
"I'm not ready to date now, Madison. *phone rings* Hello? Oh, hi Paul!"
Aww, this made me really sad.
Madison: She's going out with someone named Paul.
Dad: Not Paul Pierce from BudgeFilms?
Madison: Yeah, why?
Dad: I always knew he had a thing for your mother.
*tear*
"No one had ever really asked Fiona point-blank if she and Egg were dating. Had they ever held hands? Had they ever kissed?"
No comment.
Hart is such a loser, lol.
"FINNSTER! Going to science?"
"Where did you come from?"
"I was down the hall. But I'm going to science, too."
Um, DUH! You guys have the same CLASS.
Aw, Drew the little stalker is barely in this one!
Madison learns from eavesdropping outside the boys bathroom that EGG LIKES FIONA. Um...yay?
Lol. "Hart Jones is SOOOOOO full of himself. I actually heard him say that some girl in our class really, really likes him. Who do you think it is?"
Um, duh, Maddie, YOU like him.
She gets an e-mail from "Fiona", when in fact the e-mail (Wetwins) is Chet's. It almost fools her.
Whatever, who would believe that there are pirahnas in a DUCK POND??
3 e-mails in 5 minutes isn't a lot, Madison.
Yours till the duck quacks. Aww, how appropriate.
Btw, Bigwheels' real name is VICTORIA. Like you care. But anyways.
Madison: *after Frannie's date with Paul* Where did you go?
Mom: French restaurant. And then we went for a walk.
Madison: A walk? What for?
Mom: *evil grin*
Madison: No way!
And her mom insists that all they did was talk. Whatever.
So awful. Madison tells Chet lies about pirahnas and Joan Kenyon.
Lol, I love the science teacher. "You can swear all you want, Chet, but I do not remember seeing any flesh-eating fish at the nature preserve."
Now Chet and Hart aren't talking to Madison. Ooooooh... Feeling guilty now.
Agh, but Egg tells her THEY DESERVED IT and that she doesn't deserve to feel guilty.
Madison's Computer Tip
BE CAREFUL ABOUT WHAT YOU READ AND RESPOND TO ONLINE.
Okay, maybe some Avalon later today, but I do have other stuff to do, such as...PLAY MY BRAND NEW BASS!!! BOOYA!
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