I got two pickles, hey hey hey, or Pony Pals #24: Unlucky Pony

Aaargh, this book was so sad. Actually, it mostly sucked, but there was one part that seriously brought tears to my eyes. Yeah, Jeanne Betancourt gets a new illustrator, but fires her and gets a new one in the next book!! Then in #27, it's back to Paul Bachem!! Will we ever be free?



Plot: Remember Lucky? The annoying bratty pony with no mother? The one the Pony Pals finally got rid of? Well, he's back, and more spoiled than ever. Aaargh. Eve Greeley, his owner, is putting up with some pretty dangerous behaviors. Her parents want to get rid of him, so the Pony Pals decide to help Eve train Lucky.
Surprise! Lucky is a brat! He even tramples through someone's corn field!
Eve is pretty sad, but is surprisingly mature about the whole thing, and decides to give Lucky to the Pony Pals rather than see him shipped to a new owner. :*(
Yay! The Pony Pals think up a new plan! Lucky can live at the Crandal's for the time being! Lightning will show him who's boss! And Eve can ride Daisy! Yay!
What promised to be a realistic picture of life with ponies is once again disappointing. But hey, what did you expect from Jeanne Betancourt?

More notes:
Nice, Jeanne. Copy the intro of #3.

Pam insinuates that Eve is retarded because she has crappy handwriting.

Surprise! A new illustrator!! Anna looks normal, but Pam looks at least 60 and Lulu looks like a super model. I wonder who the illustrator's favorite character is.

Another example of Pony Pal hypocrisy: Anna and Lulu gallop up to Pam. I thought that was "dangerous".

AAAAAAAAAAGH! This is the worst letter ever. How old is this girl?:
Dear Pony Pals,
It's me. Eve Greeley. [great way to not use a comma or colon] I adopted the baby pony from you. I named him Lucky. You said that was okay. [GET TO THE POINT!]
Lucky is so cute. He is full of energy. All he wants to do is play and kick and run around. He loves treats.
Do you remember Freckles? [Yes, I could never forget that name.] She doesn't want to play with Lucky anymore. [HA!] But Lucky plays with me.
My dad and mom say Lucky is too hard to handle. But I love him. [AAAAAAAGH!] I want to train him, then I can ride him some day. [What? There should definitely be a so in there.]
Can you help me train Lucky? Please? My dad says it is okay. Our telephone number is 354-90000. [That telephone number does not exist. There should only be 3 zeroes. Get your facts straight, Jeanne.] Please help Lucky and me. [LUCKY AND I! LUCKY AND I!]
Your friend,
Eve
P.S. Lucky will be one year old next week.

Way to repeat yourself.

WHY ARE THEY SUDDENLY ON VACATION!!?? Wait a minute! It's been a year since they took care of Lucky. ALL OF THEM ARE STILL TEN YEARS OLD!!! How many summers have passed since then?? THEY'RE FROZEN IN TIME!

Heh. I remember the first time the ponies met Lucky. Acorn and Lightning tried to kill him.

Omg, Jeanne totally worships Lulu in this one. She's all talking about Lulu is soooo saaaaad not to have a mother, so that makes her love baby animals with no mothers. *sob sob sob* Not. :P

I'm really trying to figure out how Snow White could've gotten trapped in that barbed wire.

Continuity error. Anna got Acorn when she was 9, not 10.

Pam spells "cozy" wrong, and Anna puts too much food in Lucky's feed bin. Didn't she freak out when a 6 year old overfed Acorn?

OMG!!! THE GREELEYS GET IN AN ACCIDENT! THE VIOLENCE! THE VIOLENCE!!

But no one is seriously hurt. Lucky has a cut on his leg.

Whatever. This illustrator can't draw black people. Pam looks like a boy with a huge mouth.

Yeah, let the Pony Pals go find Lucky. Smart.

They care more about the station wagon than they do the Greeleys.

LOL, the Pony Pals are friends with a police officer. They haven't been doing time, have they?

Okay, I thought Lucky wasn't badly hurt, but they find enough blood on the ground to fill a horror movie.

OMG, Pam is such a pessimist!! She keeps thinking Lucky will bleed to death!

Bla bla bla, another examples of how ponies are AAAALWAYS right.

BAY AND BROWN ARE NOT THE SAME THING!!!

Aaagh. The guy's mad because the pony's trampling his corn. Give him a break.

LOL!
"'I'll give you five minutes,' the man said. The corners of his mouth turned up in an evil grin. 'And since it's your pony, you're responsible for the damage to my corn crop.'" OMG THAT'S SO CONNIVING AND HILARIOUS! The Pony Pals never have to pay, tho. :P

Pam starts singing "All the Pretty Horses" to lure Lucky towards her. Wth? Is she trying to seduce him?

Yeah, that's right. It's not just a shallow cut on the leg, Dr. Crandal.

The farmer calls her an idiot and questions her methods. LOL it's cracking me up.

Ooookay, this is so not how I pictured Mr. Farmer. He looks like one of the people that heads the Star Wars conventions.

He's right, you know. Isn't this rescue mission making Lucky more spoiled?

Okay, I REALLY hate how the Pony Pals are all calling Lucky spoiled and badly behaved, but Acorn does a lot of these things and it's "cute". Lightning bites people, and she's "sick". Snow White gets sick all the time. Whatever. That's so a cry for attention. I just wish their ponies threw the occasional shoe or seemed at least a little normal.

Eve looks like a Cabbage Patch doll.

IT'S NOT A DEEP CUT???? Then where did all that blood come from????

"That pony should have been named Trouble instead of Lucky." Right. Ha ha. Rolling around on the floor here.

Go Freckles. Knock some sense into that boy.

EWWWW, how creepy does this sound??
"But even if I had time, I'm not that interested in ponies. I prefer little girls. And cats. I like cats."
OMG!!!!! Lock all your doors and windows, children. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR!

Eve totally makes it sound like she's in an abusive relationship rather than having pony trouble.

Lame. They won't let Eve in their club. Wasn't she like 9 in SS1? That's not that much younger. And yet they group her with Mimi and Rosalie. :P

SERIOUSLY, read this. If you didn't know it was about a pony, you would think this was off of Dr. Phil or something.
Anna: What else does he do that he shouldn't?
Eve: He pushes me. Once he stepped on my foot. It hurt.
Anna: If he pushes you, Eve, elbow him. You have to be firm with him.
Lulu: What else does he do that you don't like?
Eve: Sometimes he scares me. I think he's going to kick me. I'm even afraid to brush him.

Lucky's being spoiled isn't all your fault, Eve. It's actually the PONY PALS fault. I love how their not taking responsibility at all.

LAME, Lulu looks like a supermodel in every picture.

AAAAAAAAAAAAGH THEY'RE HAVING SPAGHETTI!!! AGAIN!!

Weren't Jack and Jill 6 a while back? Did they go back in time?

Lame. They watch "Black Beauty" and Eve cries. Way to go.

Eve cries herself to sleep.

Just because Eve loves Lucky doesn't mean she should get to keep him. I loved Howard (the only other dog I've ever had, and I had him for a grand total of three days), but he bit Nathan's face off. Man up, Eve.

NOT EVERYONE LIKES PONIES! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL!

Since when is Lightning Supermom? Didn't she attack Lucky the first time she met him? And wasn't Snow White the one who was all matronly? What's with the Lightning/Lucky BFF thing going on?

Susan Royer Rigby (new illustrator) can draw horses and ponies pretty well...but I miss Vivien Kubbos. She was da bomb, even if she did mix up Lulu and Anna.

Wait, Lucky is a year old? The pictures make him look like a newborn.

LOL, they decide to let Lightning teach Lucky to behave. It totally reminded me of the song "Smack" by Ugly Duckling. SMACK! You needed that, I'LL TEACH YOU HOW TO ACT. LOL cracks me up.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH the worst Anna drawing yet!!! The people in it look like SMURFS!!

Wouldn't throwing a birthday party for Lucky make him MORE spoiled?

WHAT? Pam says Eve won't be able to ride Lucky for years. Um, don't people start riding their horses at age 2?

Lucky attacks Lightning. He's so brave.

Aaargh. Eve is a great rider. I want someone to ride badly and see what happens. Wait. Rema was a bad rider and a snob. I guess the moral of this story is if you can't ride, you're an awful person. I guess this means I would not fit in in Wiggins.

Pam is the biggest pessimist EVER.

If the horse is biting and kicking your mother, HE IS NOT MAKING PROGRESS!!

Ew, an awful drawing of Pam with a really huge face.

Retarded. Lulu is being all sneaky about a present. We never actually find out what it is.

This part is so sad! I felt for Eve. Me and feel probably don't go in the same sentence, but for realz...
Dear Pony Pals,
I have a present for you. It is Lucky. [Okay, this might be sad, but COLONS!!!] I can't take care of him. You will love him and train him. He'll play with your ponies. Please let Lucky be a Pony Pal. [Since you won't let Eve be one. :P]
Your friend,
Eve
Awwwww. This is the first time in Pony Pals history that any character has shown even an ounce of maturity!

And then we see Eve's pitiful drawings of ponies. They're pretty bad and they ruin the mood.

Aaargh. They decide to board Lucky for free. WHAT'S WITH ALL THIS "FOR FREE" STUFF?

They say "yummy".

I've never seen silver sprinkles.

I THOUGHT PONY PAL TRAIL WAS A SECRET!

Lol. They make "Lucky's #1!" jokes.

Retarded. Mr. and Mrs. Greeley go for it.

Aaargh. I just wanted the parents to get rid of Lucky and have the characters actually GROW for a change. But no. No no no no.
OMG!!! I found my ancient (like, 6th grade) end to the Pony Pals. It was written like 10 years after the whole series. Lulu marries Mark, Pam marries some dude, Anna marries Charlie, and Tommy and Mike get trampled in a Winnie the Pooh parade. That was the only part I liked. It was pretty badly written. Anna was all abusive, Pam was in love with herself, and Lulu kept saying, "Omigosh! Acorn! Omigosh!" Aaagh. I love the part about the parade, though. Made my day.

Jambo the tiger is my best friend, or Pony Pals #11: Circus Pony

The wait is over. That is so a Disciple song.... But yeah. I finally have "Circus Pony"!!!
Yeah. I think I like Anna best now. She is making the most sense and seems semi-believable. But this one wasn't so exciting. Even for a circus.



Plot: The circus has come to Wiggins! Yay! Yay! The Pony Pals get passes to explore the grounds two days before the circus starts. Anna meets a girl named Crystal, who rides elephants. Crystal really likes Acorn and suggests he takes the place of Jumper, the regular circus pony, until he recovers. Anna is so excited and agrees to it.
Yay Acorn is fabulous. Everyone likes Acorn. Crystal suggests that Anna stay with circus...permanently. But the Pony Pals don't want Anna to leave and try to guilt her into staying. They also call her selfish. But Anna manages to convince her parents (that's what's implied, but I don't believe it), and the Pony Pals "help her out".
But on the last day the circus performs, Acorn runs away! Anna tries to find him. Turns out he ran away to be with Snow White! Oh no! Acorn would miss Snow White if he moved away! Yay. Anna decides to stay. :P

More notes:
"Acorn, do you love me?" I was totally waiting for him to say no.

Aaaah, Paul Bachem. He's still illustrating in this book.

I love circuses. Ballin. Ugh, I remember that one I went to that had NO ANIMALS. It sucked.

Jumping on a trampoline is not talent.

Lulu, always rationalizing for breaking the law.

I think Jeanne Betancourt just used an exclamation point.

Ew, since when is grass sweet?

What kind of name is "The Yellow Tent Circus"?

The liberty horses have weird bangs.

Ugh, Elly is a lame name for an elephant.

The Pony Pals need to start paying for their own food. Crystal gets them stuff for free. :P

Aaaagh, she tries to imitate a non-English speaker. "I learn some English."

Isn't Ida a boy's name?

WHY WOULD YOU SAY BLONDE-HAIRED??? If you said blonde, it would still make sense.

Waaaaaait. Isn't Jumper the name of Acorn's dad??? I THINK IT IS!! That's kind of freaky.

Elly isn't that much bigger than Acorn? What?

Doesn't Anna always wake up early and beat Lulu?

Yeah, I'm with Anna. I'd rather be at the circus than shop for school supplies.

It's like everyone's from England.

Ha. Acorn is scared of clowns.

Anna looks better as a clown than she does any other time. Wow.

Lulu and Pam are all psyched about some nifty notebooks with a pocket section!!! Nerds.

They almost start a debate about how celebrities wish they could be normal and normal people want to be famous.... :P

Ew, they start joking about Fat Cat the Flying Circus Cat. ???

Anna's mom makes her special clown pancakes with a fruit smiley face. Psh. Forget fruit. Bring on the ice cream and chocolate chips.

Omg, Anna ditches the Pony Pals!!! :O She's actually becoming independent it seems.

Acorn is way too huge to be a Shetland.

I want to ride an elephant really bad.

Don't circuses have programs? Why do they have to announce Anna and Acorn? It would be in the program, wouldn't it. Also, their intro sounds way choppy:
"The Yellow Tent Circus proudly presents its clowns. They are joined tonight by a Wiggins resident, Anna Harley. She's here with her pony Acorn." Those last two sentences could've been combined.

How does one become a professional clown, Pam? I mean, all there is to do is act like an idiot and have bad makeup.

THAT SO REMINDS ME OF "SHE'S ALL THAT"!! Lol, bathroom scene.

Since when does Anna have a brother???? This is like the first time he's mentioned EVER. Oh wait, never mind, he was mentioned once before in #2, but COME ON. He says, "Not bad," and then he's never heard from again. I think he and Melissa/Tawny/whatever her name was died in a random shooting event.

This is the 3rd chapter to have ended with the word "circus" and an exclamation point.

I really doubt that Anna's parents will let her be in the circus. Just saying.

Rosalie lives by Acorn? Doesn't she live in an apartment on the other side of town? WHY DO THEY KEEP SWITCHING THINGS AROUND??? CONTINUITY! CONTINUITY!

Dang, this is like when I tell people I'm leaving Washington. Pam is all, "WTH???" and Lulu pouts.

The Amazing Flying Frenzies sounds a lot like Family Force 5. Can't kick the habit, I've got to have it, I'm what they call a LOVE addict, LOVE addict.

Anna totally quotes "Dragon Tales". I wish with all my heart that my parents will let me join the circus.

Stupid Snow White again. I hate her so much. Get her a new stablemate.

Snow White ran away because she missed Acorn. They need to get a better fence.

OMG! They blame Snow White's running away on ANNA. "She could have been hurt or killed." Unfortunately, she WASN'T.

Shut up, Pam. No one likes you anyways.

Wth, Anna suggests that Snow White get a new stablemate.
Anna: Snow White will like a new pony as much as she likes Acorn.
Pam: That's a terrible thing to say, Anna.
Anna: Why? [My question exactly.] Everyone knows that a pony can get used to a new stablemate. Look how fast Acorn got used to the liberty horses.
Lulu: But Acorn and Snow White are best friends.
Pam: And we're supposed to be best friends.
OMG! They then call her selfish, that she obviously doesn't care about THEIR feelings. Yeah, hypocrites much?

And Anna calls them out on it!!!!!!! You go.

And then she runs out crying.

Aaaagh, there's a picture of Mr. Landel, and he looks like a round-faced version of my dad. But his wardrobe, hair, and glasses are exactly the same.

Crystal thinks Pam and Lulu are lame, too.

Elly is such a midget. Elephants and shetland ponies are NOT the same size!!

Lame. Pam and Lulu basically tell Anna they'll miss Acorn more than her.

Anna, your parents are JOKING! They're not ACTUALLY thinking of letting you join the circus!!!

The Pony Pals are sticking up for her all of a sudden. I hate them so much.

AAAAAAAARGH! LOOK AT THIS SENTENCE:
In the distance Anna saw three ponies grazing. Lightning, Snow White, and Acorn.
WHERE'S THE COLON???

Retarded. She decides not to join the circus. Although I don't think her parents would've said yes anyway.

But she says she'll do it when she's older. Good luck with that.

:P That was stupid. But "Unlucky Pony" is next!!! Yay! Lucky is back!

Open season, or Pony Pals #23: The Pony and the Bear

Sounds like a Northwest version of "The Lion and the Unicorn". Yeah. This was another book that didn't quite make sense. Really, though. If your campsite was being attacked by a bear, wouldn't you want it leave without killing anyone???
Don't know. Who else is glad it's Friday? *just waiting for my picture to load*
Does anyone else think it's weird that I'm already at #23 and I haven't even done #11 yet? Well, I guess you wouldn't. I'm just annoyed. I hate that stupid little kid. And "The Unlucky Pony" isn't coming any time soon. And I ordered "The Lonely Pony", but it's also delayed.
This is ridiculous. Lol, I'm listening to my secrety secret CD again. I love this song. It's so sweet. And I have a potential music video idea for it, but it's kind of creeping me out. Why does the girl in the song sound so much like me???



Plot: This plot isn't really about bears at all, but mostly about Charlie.
Y'all remember Charlie, right? Stereotypical western boy from Wyoming? With the pony named Moondance? Anna used to be quite enamored with him, if I'm not mistaken, and Lulu hated him. But now Lulu is in love with Charlie and Anna wishes he would just go away.
She manages to convince him to hang out with Tommy and Mike. Charlie thinks they are really cool and calls Tommy "Tom" all the time. They do guy things together. Lulu and Pam are heartbroken.
YAY, MR. SANDERS IS BACK FROM CANADA!!! He tells the girls all about watching black bears, and grizzly bears, and gummy bears. Pam and Lulu get way psyched and plan a 24 hour nature watch in the woods. Maybe they'll see a bear! Then they can write an article about it for a teen magazine! Anna thinks the whole thing sounds stupid, but you know, she has nothing else to do....
On the nature watch, all the Pony Pals do is sit, watch endless squirrels run up and down the many trees, eat candy, and sleep. Oh, and Tommy, Mike, and Charlie play a prank on them, but they don't see any bears.
Finally, when its Anna's turn to watch, she sees a bear!!! It rips her backpack apart and eats all her candy. Anna doesn't want it to go away, so she begs the ponies to stay silent. She then draws the bear and observes it for a long time until Snow White scares it away. Thanks a lot, wimpy.
Anna tells Lulu and Pam what she saw and they are way jealous. The next morning, they plan to go follow the bear...when Charlie comes bearing gifts. He tells the girls that Tommy and Mike are lame. This seems like an adequate apology, so they go looking for the bear together. It's way exciting.
Oh no, a final showdown with Tommy and Mike. But Charlie pwns Tommy. It's all good.

More notes:
They describe Acorn as brown. Brown and bay = not the same.


Some random woman stops Pam and tells her how much she's grown. ??? Who is this woman and why don't they know her?? Don't they know everyone in Wiggins?

"Remember when Snow White and Moondance didn't get along?" Yeah, wasn't that...yesterday?

Charlie wants to give up Moondance? That's kind of lame. Lulu looks like she's sitting in Charlie's lap. And Charlie looks way 50's, just like Tommy and Mike. Yeah, now they can be Tom, Dick, and Harry together!

What happened? Charlie's all annoying now. He's talking about BIG trail rides in the west that lasted 3 DAYS!!!! Shut up.

OMG, Charlie whistled at Tommy. Or at his bike. Whatever.

Lulu doesn't catch on very quick. Anna wants to get rid of Charlie. Pam gets it. Go Pam.

Ew, Charlie calls Tommy "Tom". My uncle's name is Tom.

Whoa. Anna feels inferior to Pam and Lulu. She actually seems human in this one.

Remember when Mr. Sanders used to look like George Lopez? Now he looks like Ronald Reagan. Soooo Vivien Kubbos is Republican?

He spent a week in the woods of north-eastern Canada. He's calling his article "A week in the wood of north-eastern Canada." How nice.

Anna and I both think this nature study idea is lame.

Lulu: *trying to dissuade Charlie from hanging out with Tommy and Mike* Those guys are mean to us.
Pam: And they don't know anything about horses.
Lulu: They're always bothering us.
I love how not knowing anything about horses makes you an awful person. And I love how Anna isn't saying anything, just thinking, "LEAVE, PLEASE LEAVE!"

Heh. She told Charlie to shut up about the wild, wild west.

HA! I knew making campfires wasn't illegal! Losers.

Uh oh, editors. The name of Charlie's pony is Moondance, isn't it? Why'd you let Moonstone slip in there?

Maybe he likes Tommy and Mike because they're NORMAL and not always talking about horses.

Or because he's a boy and wants to hang with boys his own age....

ENOUGH ABOUT THE BROWNIES! THEY'RE DELICIOUS! WE UNDERSTAND!

Who says big is better? Um, me? WOO-HOO, 5'8"!!

Wth? If you want to stay awake, there's CAFFEINE! I really doubt orange juice and trail mix are going to help as much as a nice can of Monster. Which I personally think tastes disgusting.

Omg, Anna, such a cool character now!!!

Now they're saying "scat" instead of "poop". AAARGH!

Pam and Lulu are such nerds.

That's right, bears DON'T giggle. Must be something else.

Really, how can you describe male teenage laughter as giggling??? BOYS DON'T GIGGLE! Unless they're like 5.

"Lulu and Pam, this is NOT funny! You scared the ponies!" Whatever, Anna. You know you were scared, too. The dark stain on your pants is proof.

Omg, Jeanne Betancourt used an exclamation point!

LOL! "It looks like bicycle tracks." "From a mountain bike. A wild animal was here all right. A wild animal with the initials T. R." OMG! Sorry, dirty mind buzzing here. Oh, Tommy, you wild, wild animal. Rowr. And I totally think there should be a comma after "here".

Whatever the Pony Pals grow up to be, they should NOT become actresses.

Holy crap. They see two rabbits, ten squirrels, some turkey feathers, and deer poop. I think you're lying. I spent 2 hours in the woods and only saw 1 squirrel. And I don't think poop and feathers count as animals.

"Tommy and his gang." Two people is not a gang, and Tommy is so not the mafia boss. Mike's just a wimpy pants.

Why are they not creeped out about bats flying in their hair?

WTH???? I way don't think there are flying squirrels in Conecticutt.

Anna mispells owl "awl". LAME. Like that one stupid kid in preschool who had a southern accent, red hair, and thought orange was spelled with an a. And then he blamed me for throwing the milk. And he stole my bff. Jerk. I think his name was Christopher. I really want him to know how much he influenced my life. Wonder if he's still in Japan.

Um, dur, drink caffeine. Orange juice and chocolate chip cookies don't work nearly as well.

WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANT A BEAR TO LEAVE? It rips apart her backpack, and she's not scared at all; she just wants the bear to stay still so she can draw and observe it. DUMB!!

I HATE Snow White SO MUCH. Apparently she gets really sick in "The Lonely Pony", sick to the point of death. BUT SHE DOESN'T DIE! Aaargh, I was on Amazon, and someone spoiled the whole book for me. But it's about Tongo being a jerk pants. I swear, Mimi ruined him. But anyways.

I don't think "clacked his teeth" is a good description of a bear about to attack you. That makes him sound like a first grader with ADHD. At the dentist. On caffeine.

Shut up, Pam. She saw the black bear and you didn't. And she almost got attacked. So don't tell her, "You should've taken a photo." Because that wouldn't have made him any madder.

They're always going on about evidence.

Pam is such a condescending loser. "I'll stay with you Anna, because I know you're afraid." WHAT???? Leave her alone. I know you would've peed your pants.

Lulu, all about schedules. She should just go live in the woods forever. And take Snow White with her.

Yes, you should name your backpack "The Bear", Anna. :P

Anna is totally playing up the "bear attack" thing. It's kind of funny, to see her all conniving and making her Pony Pals feel bad. I swear, it's as if she has a soul in this one. I love how I don't find this funny when she's NOT the main character. So I'm a hypocrite. I would make a GREAT Pony Pal.

Ugh, they're talking about Charlie and the other boys like they're in a freaking war.

I wish Snow White HAD run away. Then she's stop bothering everybody. And stop getting sick.

I swear, all three ponies have a problem.
Snow White: Always getting SICK
Acorn: Always wants to be the center of attention, causing people to fall in love with him and make Anna all mad
Lightning: Every 28 days, she goes crazy and attacks random people (or mostly Pam).

Omg, Charlie brings them donuts. He's good...very good....

They should just call them Tommy Rat and Mike Lousy from now on. That cracks me up.

Ew, sugar and jelly donuts. You are not my favorite, anymore, Charlie. Next time, get your head on straight and pick up chocolate donuts.

There's a picture of Moondance. He's nothing special. Just another generic pony.

Quit talking about that stupid grizzly bear!!!

Retarded. He thinks they gave the bear candy.

Pam and Lulu act like they saw the bear, too. I hate them. Especially Pam in this one.

The drawings Anna did of the bear are...um...special. Charlie's all, "These drawings are great. I could never do that." I'm an awful artist, and I draw better bears than Anna. I bet I could make some pretty sweet macaroni art, too.

If Anna doesn't want to hang out with Charlie, she could just leave.... Just be all, actually, I really don't like you.

They find a silver wrapper in a piece of bear poop. Lulu thinks it's an earring.

Omg, Anna is totally calling Mike out. And he's TAKING IT!!!

Lame. Mike is afraid of bears.

ROFL!!!
Lulu: We're going to do an article for one of the nature magazines my father writes for. (her father writes for a nature magazine???)
Mike: How can YOU write an article? You're only like ten years old. (that's what I want to know)
Pam: It's from a kid's point of view. (duh) Not many ten-year-olds do twenty-four-hour nature watches.
Tommy: Who'd want to? It's a dumb thing to do. (YESSSS! Told you. Nerds.)

I would NOT publish Anna's drawings in my newspaper.

Wth? Mike and Tommy are going to go visit a boy named Joe because he has cool videos. What kind of videos? Music videos? Disney videos? Home videos?

Lame, Tommy calls himself dumb.

CHARLIE TAKES ON TOMMY! THAT'S AS CLOSE TO A FIGHT AS WE'RE EVER GOING TO GET!!! THIS IS SO EXCITING!

Wait, Charlie described as way shorter and smaller than Tommy. Um, isn't Tommy way skinny? He is in every picture, anyways. Is Charlie an anorexic midget?

Mike is not afraid of Tommy. He just hangs out with him because he's the only 14-year-old boy in the town, apparently.

Lame. Charlie chooses the Pony Pals because he's interested in bears. Now they're going to think you're gay.

I hate how like every book ends with, "(pony's name), you're the best," when all the pony did was exist and transport you from place to place. These books are barely even about ponies anymore.
The library doesn't want me to be happy, so they aren't giving me "Circus Pony" and "The Unlucky Pony", and they refuse to order "The Lonely Pony", so I don't know when I'll post again. Maybe I'll dig out my ancient Pony Pals: 15 years later and read it.

Rough Riders, Rough Riders, yeee-haw, or Pony Pals #22: Western Pony

I remember hating this one. I mean, if I came home and my friends had let someone else ride my pony for 2 weeks, I'd be pretty mad. But, while rereading this, I was kind of annoyed by the way Lulu went about this. Geez, PMS?



Plot: Lulu has been gone on a two week vacation in Virginia, visiting her godparents, and the Pony Pals have been taking care of Snow White for her. But when Lulu gets home, she is shocked to find Snow White missing! She freaks out for a million pages, until she sees Anna and Pam...riding to Anna's house...with Snow White...
...who's being ridden by Charlie Chase, Mr. Olson's nephew, who is visiting town. And he was riding Snow White not only without Lulu's permission, but WESTERN STYLE!!! *gasp* Lulu gets really peeved and acts all mad for another million pages. She doesn't want to hang out with Pony Pals, is mean to Charlie, and doesn't ride Snow White. Then she makes up with them after they apologize to her (yeah...) and instead of running away to Virginia (don't ask), she invites her godsister (is there such a thing?) Alicia to Wiggins to participate in Mr. Olson's hoedown! Oh boy!
But on the day of the hoedown, Charlie's horse Moondance (that's really his name) injures his leg, so Charlie can't trick ride. But Lulu lets him ride Snow White. And they are best friends forever. Yeah. It was pretty boring.

More notes:
Jigsaw. Another adorable pony name.

Why do we need to know the color of the hair Grandmother Sanders is cutting?

Since when does Dr. Crandal have an assistant? His business has expanded quite a bit since #1.

Isn't Pony Pal Trail secret? How does Henry know about it?

Again, Lulu decides not to tell her grandmother that she's going out into the woods because it's too important and her grandma probably wouldn't let her do it. Smart.

Ooh, Charlie is from Wyoming. And Lulu thinks he's irresponsible.

I used to think Moondance was the coolest name EVER. Not so much anymore.

I don't get why Lulu is so freaked that he rode her western. Snow White's stupid, but she's not stupid enough to get confused.

Charlie = no social skills. But at least he's friendly. YES, SOMEONE WHO ISN'T SHY AND SELF-CENTERED! Then again, he's a guy. :P

He's being conscientous, leave him alone.

Why do we need this whole description on the wonder of the Pony Pals IN EVERY BOOK!!! Because it's ALWAYS THE SAME. They could at least shorten it, or spice it up or something. And it totally didn't fit with what Lulu is thinking. She thinks about the Pony Pals origins, way back to Mommy and Daddy in the bedroom, and then after 6 pages is all, "But they didn't even feel like Pony Pals anymore." WHAT??

Charlie can whistle to ponies. Jealous.

Lulu such a loser. She's all whining about everything.

She buys some plastic ponies for Anna and Pam from a museum. Where is this plastic pony museum? I want to go.

Alicia sounds way nice. I wish she and Lulu would switch places. Then maybe Anna could grow a brain and Pam would stop being such a control freak.

Pretty picture of Snow White. Anna is still on the crack corn. And she still wakes up at 5:00 AM. BECAUSE SHE LIKES IT.

Lulu wonders if Pam and Anna have gone boy crazy all of a sudden. Okay, just because you like girls....

Now she's chewing out Anna!

Snow White's all, "Crap, Lulu's back."

Lulu doesn't want Moondance to hurt Snow White, but she willingly puts Snow White in the paddock with Lightning. Um, right.

Moondance sounds adorable, but they never show a picture. Same with Alicia.

This is like #16 all over again. Charlie barrel races with Snow White and Lulu freaks out and is all, "HORSE SAFETY! HORSE SAFETY!"

SHUT UP ABOUT SAFETY!!!

A lame joke about skipping rope. "I'm skipping rope." "We're not skipping rope. This isn't jump rope." I swear, it's as if the author had NEVER HEARD OF EXCLAMATION POINTS!

Charlie should hang out with Tommy and Mike because he's an obnoxious boy. Yeah, that wasn't sexist.

Shut up, Lulu. You're just jealous.

Nice excuse. Liar.

Hm, your friends are finally reaching out to non-Pony Pals, so you decide to go back to Virgina.

Isn't that a rule? No boys at sleepovers???

I love it when Pam acts like Lulu is stupid.

Moondance isn't bad looking. But I pictured him cuter. DISAPPOINTING.

Wth, Snow White isn't wearing a bridle in the picture. And Lulu was all mad that Pam and Anna had supposedly ridden her bareback. Hypocrite much?

Wait, that's ANNA riding Snow White. WHAAAAAAAT?

Uh oh, Pam and Anna want Lulu to conform to their menu choices....

Why would they need to ask you before they planned a hoedown? It's not like they're doing it for you.

The word "stupid" shows up multiple times in this book. *gasp* IT'S A CHILDREN'S STEP-UP BOOK!

I heart Belgians.

Oh, sure, Pam, let's use the ribbons your mother won in her show days to give to all the good little boys and girls!

They think cross-dressing is funny.

Barrel racing on English is way fun.

Charlie always picks the wrong time to say something.

LOL. Pam and Anna are just ignoring Lulu's tantrums.

Ew, a picture of Acorn all sway-backed and teary-eyed.

So Alicia is coming, but we'll never know what she looks like, and then we'll never hear from her again.

OMG! Take that, Lulu!
Anna: You use to say you had fun in Wiggins. (Anna is always mumbling)
Pam: Didn't you even miss us when you were gone? We missed you.
Lulu: You did not. You didn't even care that I came back.
Pam: Well, you didn't act happy to be back. All you did was complain.
LOL!!!!

WTH??? IT HAPPENED AGAIN! In the picture, Anna is saddling up Snow White and Lulu is mounting Acorn. WTH???

Lucky. Alicia has 6 horses. Or 4 horses, 2 ponies. Whatever.

Little Rascal is a dumb name.

Pam is trying to set up Alicia with Charlie!!!!!

Ew, they do the letter from three points of view again, and Lulu talks about how much she hates Charlie for like forever, and Anna talks about how much she loves Charlie.

Totally reminded me of last year when Mr. Caley called Mrs. Schultz-Story and said, "I sent you an e-mail."

Who doesn't love winning? You wouldn't be all, "CRAP! I WON!"

Anna kisses Lulu on the cheek. Holding hands, kissing cheeks...?

Only 6 posters? How small is this town?

Anna is wearing a red strapless gown. I kid you not.

Jigsaw sounds adorable, too! And there's no picture....

Alicia and the Pony Pals get along very well. And Lulu doesn't get all jealous of Alicia.

Alicia likes Charlie, too, and Lulu doesn't get mad at her.

Why does Pam always win first place?

Charlie competes in the adult division. How old is he?

Charlie is a real man.

Why does Dr. Crandal always pop out of nowhere?

Ew. Mr. Olson has a horse named Handsome.

Charlie's a hottie. No lie.

Charlie is responsible on Snow White and wins a prize...and Lulu congratulates Snow White. Loser.

Lulu is way evil. But Anna suddenly hates Charlie all of sudden? It's in #23, which is coming up later.

Everybody is a winner, or Pony Pals #21: The Winning Pony

This title reminds me of Gilderoy Lockhart. I actually considered rereading that series AGAIN. Yeah. It's the first 2 books that are really fun to read, and then they get steadily darker, and by then it's not fun anymore because it's so sad. Yeah, that had nothing to do with Pony Pals.



Plot: Pam is an amazing rider, according to pretty much everyone, but she doesn't like horse shows. And no, not because of chicken pox or getting sick, but because people in horse shows get uber-competitive and bloodthirsty and we know Pam isn't like that. *cough cough* Um, anyway, her Pony Pals decide to participate in the horse show, because they're cool like that, and all proceeds go to the St. Francis Animal Hospital. Okay, it's like a rule: If you have an animal hospital, it has to be named after St. Francis.
Then Rosalie and Mimi attack Pam in the diner and ask her to give them riding lessons because they are both going to be in the horse show (Rosalie will ride on Tongo, as she has no pony). Pam agrees, and so do the other Pony Pals, EVEN THOUGH THEY WEREN'T ASKED.
So Pam starts teaching Rosalie and Mimi how to handle Tongo, who has become quite ornery, and her Pony Pals try to force her to be in the horse show.
One day, while Pam is jumping, Eleanor Morgan comes and tells her she's GOOD!!! Duh, Eleanor Morgan, Olympic champion in show jumping. She doesn't actually exist. STOP THE LIES.
Because of Eleanor's encouragement and offer to teach her more pointers, Pam decides to be in the horse show. During lessons, she tells Rosalie that she can ride Lightning in the horse show instead of Tongo, because Tongo is dumb and living with Mimi has tainted him forever.
OH NO! On show day, show jumping (Pam's event) and Walk, Trot (Rosalie's event) are at the same time!!!!! But Pam sacrifices glory and happiness and more glory and lets Rosalie ride Lightning, therefore missing her event. :( It was way moving, and it made Pam seem like a real person. And Rosalie wins a blue ribbon. Because she can. And everyone is proud of Pam. Except the Pony Pals, who don't seem to grasp the weight of her decision. Jerks.
Also, there was this whole subplot where Rosalie wanted to buy this kitten named Chicago from the animal shelter, but her mom hates cats and anything that breathes and has fur. Apparently has a thing for fish. ANYWAYS, Chicago gets adopted by someone else and Rosalie is heartbroken until it turns out...THE KLINES ADOPTED CHICAGO SO ROSALIE COULD SEE HIM ANY TIME SHE WANTED!! Whatever, isn't Tongo enough for the Klines? Mimi is way spoiled and she'll probably do something awful, like put Chicago in the freezer accidentally. Or on purpose. Who knows.

More notes:
Mrs. Crandal has taken to using the phrase "pretty pony". And she seems to forget that, uh, SHE BOUGHT LIGHTNING???

Why is everyone trying to force Pam to be in a horse show? Different people like different things, and I agree, horse shows suck.

Wth, Starfire (Eleanor's horse) looks just like Lightning in horse form.

The Pony Pals eat a lot of brownies, spaghetti, and blueberry pancakes. You think they would tire of these things.

Lulu and Anna are trying to force Pam to be in the show because "it's for a good cause". So is the Breast Cancer walk, and not a lot of people can do 60 miles in 3 days.

Mimi so annoying. With bad grammar. IRONY.

Whatever. A hamster with the works is like $20-$30, and it doesn't cost that much to take care of one. Mrs. Lacey is a b****.

Totally picturing Mrs. Kline as one of those busybody teachers everyone hates.

Never mind. Mrs. Kline asks all of them to help.

Shut up, Mimi. You are not going to win the blue ribbon.

Mimi says things like "goodie".

OMG, SAY "TONGO AND I"! "TONGO AND I."

Mrs. Kline is a busybody. Telling the Pony Pals things about the Laceys' divorce.

Mimi calls it an animal hotel and it's supposed to be cute.

CONTINUITY ERROR! In every book up until now, Anna didn't get her first pony until she was 9, not 10. This book says 10.

Pam and Anna met Lulu at the beginning of 5th grade. What grade are you in now? Because if you're still in 5th grade, you had an extra long summer and winter.

Mimi is happy that someone tried to dump kittens in a trash can.

The kittens do not miss their daddy, Rosalie. You miss your daddy.

It's a boy cat because it has testicles, not because the shelter lady proclaimed it so.

Way to stick it to the man, Rosalie.

I like how all cats are black and white. Shadow, Pal, Chicago....

Tongo attacks Rosalie. And this is funny why?

Lulu told Mimi to shut up. Heh.

They describe Mimi as stubborn, spoilt, and adorable. Why not just say spoiled? And SHE'S NOT ADORABLE. Tongo is pretty cute, tho.

We haven't seen Ms. Wiggins in a while. Did she permanently move to Paris?

"Fat Cat and two of her kittens scampered around the field looking for mice." WHAT KITTENS? You gave away all the kittens, remember? Pal was the last one! Did she have some more?? Did Shadow get frisky?

I don't believe Anna has met an Olympic champion.

Lame. They all write an e-mail in three different fonts (one for each girl, if you hadn't noticed), and Lulu and Anna's portions are way pointless. They ask Eleanor if it's true that she had Pony Pals when she was their age! Yeah. Like she'd be willing to admit that.

I love how everyone in Wiggins knows who Eleanor Morgan is. Because everyone loves horses.

Picture = way disturbing. Rosalie is practically tackling Pam.

Cat food is expensive? Just feed it tuna!

Classy, Mike. Blame the Pony Pals. Great way to get girls.

Rosalie and Mike hold hands? I never did that with my brothers. William, maybe.

Why is Mrs. Lacey letting Mike get away with this behavior? BAD PARENTING.

Pam is meeting an Olympic athlete and she feels a little shy. WTH????

Jeanne even admits that she made Starfire look just like Lightning.

This is so awful!!!
Mrs. Crandal: Did you have a good workout with Starfire?
Eleanor: Yes. I also saw what your daughter can do with her pony.
Pam: She gave me a lesson.
Mrs. Crandal: Lucky for you. Too bad she doesn't like to show it off. I don't understand that about Pam.
WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS IN FRONT OF ANOTHER PERSON? I would be so mortified if my mom ever said this about me. Although she doesn't have to, because I quite like showing off.

Mrs. Crandal: She's afraid to lose.
YOU'RE AN AWFUL MOTHER!

Mrs. Crandal bought new school ponies? Will they ever be mentioned again, I wonder?

Lame.
Pam: I want to be with ponies and horses forever. They are the most important thing in my life.
Screw family, friends, and school.

Dang. Rosalie can post at 6? Jealous. I can't post worth crap.

Tongo so cute.

DON'T GIVE IN, PAM! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO, DON'T DO IT! Actually, I'm not one to give advice, seeing as I just joined jazz band and I didn't want to. It's because I'm such a pleaser.

Why is Lulu so obsessed with the championship trophy?

Rosalie has kind of a messed up family: Dad lives in Chicago and she never sees him, Mom's a...witch, and her brother's a criminal.

Anna: He just wants to look like a big shot who ignores girls.
Because that's what all guys strive to be.

"The Pony Pests are here! Call the exterminator!"

Ew, Lulu calls Tommy "Tommy-the-Big-Dude".

Of course the Pony Pals have to place. Anna gets fourth. Lulu gets third. Pam gets FIRST! This isn't in the jumping competition, btw. That would be weird.

Rosalie is totally oblivious to the fact that Pam just gave up a shiny trophy for her.

Now Anna is obsessed with the trophy.

Wait, this event is "Walk, Trot". It is not based on time.
Pam: I don't know. The important thing is that she rides well and has a good time."
Uh, what??? Time doesn't matter if everyone is riding in a circle together.

"What a lovely sight it is." Wth, Mrs. Bell?

Rosalie wins first prize...but it's so weird how they announce it.
"The first place prize, the blue ribbon...goes to Rosalie Lacey on Pam Crandal's pony, Lightning." Has Jeanne Betancourt never heard of exclamation points? And why do we need to know that it's Pam's pony? No one really cares whose horse it is as long as you win.

Pam is the big winner today, as far as Eleanor is concerned. Whatever.

Uh, Anna, you got second place. And you said you had no chance at winning? Shut your mouth.

Anna shows Tongo who is alpha. "You will behave."

Mimi's posture is horrible. She's hunched over Tongo's neck.

Lame. Everyone in Mimi's competition gets a blue ribbon. Was everyone that bad, that they had to give EVERYONE first prize?

What kind of announcement is this?
"Also, there are animals for adoption in the tent behind the food stand. Three dogs and two cats are left. All the black-and-white kittens have been adopted. They will be there until the end of the show. Those kittens are very cute, so go on over and see them. And check out the other pets while you are there."
Mr. Olson is announcing this? He's so creepy!!!! Why can't he get a life?

Aw, Mike offered to get a job so Rosalie could get a cat. That part REALLY moved me. Like really, really.

Stupid Mrs. Kline. Just tell her you bought the stupid cat.

Omg. It's "MIMI AND I!"

Thou shalt not steal, or Pony Pals #20: Stolen Ponies

I do not understand this book. If someone steals your property, the "right thing" to do would be do turn them in, right?? Aaargh.



Plot: The Pony Pals have a secret hideout. It's just so secretly secret that no one will find it.
While hanging out at the Pony Pal Lodge (their lame name for their secrety secret hideout), they see a campfire left burning in the woods. *gasp* FOREST FIRES! They put it out, and are proud of themselves for saving the whole woods.
This happens repeatedly throughout the book.
After much investigation, the Pony Pals discover it was Tommy and Mike who were starting the fires! *gasp* THAT'S ILLEGAL! (didn't know that little tidbit....) They write Tommy and Mike aa anonymous threatening letter that warns them to never light another fire ever again.
But Tommy and Mike figure out it's them and set their secrety secret hideout on fire.
And then THEY STEAL THEIR PONIES!!!
This has gone a little too far, it seems.
It's raining and the brook is overflowing, but the Pony Pals go looking for their ponies anyways. Anna then sees them on the other side of the river/brook/stream and distracts Tommy and Mike while Lulu and Pam save the day. Pam wants to call the police, but Anna and Lulu convince her this is the wrong way to go. After all, they've only broken two laws and destroyed their property. Jail is not where these boys belong.
So the Pony Pals tattle to the Park Ranger and he sends the boys off with a warning. WTH? Justice is done????????? THEY STOLE YOUR FREAKING PONIES WITH NO INTENTION OF GIVING THEM BACK!

More notes:
Lulu makes Tommy and Mike pee their pants. Heh.

Tommy: When are the pests going to grow up and get real horses?
Mike: They're too afraid of real horses.
Is that supposed to be funny? Oh, and they escape on their bikes doing wheelies. Sooo coool.

And then Anna says, "You're the pests, you gonzos!" *sigh*

Anna draws a map to their hideout. Pony Pal trail isn't on the map? But Tommy and Mike's hideout is? How did the girls know they had a hideout? This will become more confusing in the next few chapters.

The Pony Pals have adventures that are just as exciting as living in Africa.

Lighting campfires is illegal?

The one thing I don't like about Vivien Kubbos is that Anna's drawings take a definite turn for the worse.

Because campers are going to listen to a bunch of little girls.

I don't think Wiggins is home of the state forest, girls.

Just like in book #10, the girls are convinced they saved a million animals. But it's raining, right? Couldn't the rain have put the fire out?

Wait. This hideout is totally on your map. It says there, in black and white, "Tommy and Mike's hideout". HOW COME YOU DON'T KNOW WHOSE HIDEOUT THIS IS IF IT'S ON YOUR MAP???

I totally read this one sentence as, "Tommy loves beer." My bad, he loves ROOT beer.

Even people who know nothing about nature can figure out the difference between a bird and a whistle.

Wait. If you're going to describe useless things with utmost detail, you could at least tell me what kind of juice the Pony Pals are drinking.

Yes, it will be easy to scare Tommy and Mike into not lightning fires. Because you're all ten and you're just so scary.

Pam thinks they should report them to the park ranger. But the others don't want to do that because Mike is poor. So being poor justifies a life of crime? How come whenever Pam has a good idea, it is discouraged?

They decide to write an anonymous letter that sounds like an adult. And it sounds semi-believable up until the end:
Sincerely yours,
Someone who is watching you!!!
P.S.
Your hideout is a mess.

No self-respecting adult would write a letter like that.

More talk about Mike being poor and can't afford a big allowance. He has to call his mom "Ma" or "Ma'am".

I think Mike will figure out the note was written by a couple of kids.

They set Anna's drawings on fire and write the Pony Pals a threatening message. Yeah. Not creepy. Let's NOT tell our parents.

How mature:
Pony Pests.
Mind your own business if you know what's good for you. It's a free country. We were here first. Go away. Find another place to play with your little ponies.
OR ELSE.

Wth? They take their PONIES?

OMG IT'S NOT THAT HARD TO RIDE A PONY!

I just really wanted Snow White to get hurt or something. Hate her.

Tommy is wearing a red jacket. I thought he was rich? Why is he wearing a red cotton jacket?

Tommy and Mike's idea of fun is making fun of people. All right, I have a confession to make....

I think she's serious about having you guys arrested....

Anna is honing her acting skills.

Awww, Acorn crosses a brook to be with Anna.

Psh. They just got ambushed by Pony Pals.

And now they're letting the boys die in the woods. Ah, yes.

AAAAAGH, lame. They want to give them another CHANCE. COME ON.

Acorn attacks Tommy.

The main reason for the stealing and threatening was the fact that the Pony Pals had infiltrated the boys' clubhouse thingy. WTH? That's like killing someone for cutting you in line.

Oh, it turns out Tommy is the brains of this operation. Mike is just an innocent bystander.

WHY ARE THEY STOPPING PAM FROM TALKING TO THE RANGER!!!???? Lulu and Anna want to give them another chance. AND THEY USE THE "TWO-AGAINST-ONE" THINGY!!! AAAAAAGH! Forget them, Pam.

Ponies come before turning in criminals. *shakes head*

They feel bad for Mike. Then turn in Tommy, if you must, but you can't seriously tolerate this kind of ridiculousness.

Pam just admitted she's biased against Tommy. Great. This will help their case.

Wait, what??? Now MIKE'S wearing the red jacket??? Did they switch clothes or something?

Lol, Mike and Tommy look like kids from the 50's. "How are we going to get home, Tom?" "Shut up, Dick!"

Mike is afraid of freezing to death more so than jail.

You can't honestly think they're going to apologize. Aagh.

Surprise, surprise. They don't want your help. And they don't apologize.

Jack Stranton = coolest name ever.

The boys get caught doing the campfire thing. OMG!!! TOMMY BLAMES MIKE!!! Little toaster.

THEY GET OFF WITH A WARNING!!!!!

The Pony Pals leave without telling them the way home? Justice is done? What about the police??? HIGH CRIME! HIGH CRIME!!

Ugh. Next one I'll do is the one about sacrifice and horse shows. :P

Goodbye old paint, or Pony Pals #19: Moving Pony

Yes. All ponies move. I think we're supposed to get from the title that the pony in question is leaving town. Whatever. Lulu's jeans are too short. Then again, so are mine. I need some new ones.



Plot: Sandy Nation and her mother Maria's are moving (ON HORSEBACK???) from Powell to Reston, but they stop in Wiggins when Maria's horse gets injured. The Pony Pals assume that because Sandy has a pony, she is an amazing person, and try to become "friends" with her. But Sandy hates everyone and doesn't want to move.
Bla bla bla, about 50 pages on Sandy grumbling.
After an unsuccessful barn sleepover (This is how they become friends with people; they invite them over for a sleepover and are shocked to discover this is too much, too soon.), the girls decide to go to the river to swim. But during their lil adventure, Sandy leaves, saying she wants to go back to the Crandals' house and talk to her mom, or something.
But on their way home, Lulu discovers that Sandy was trying to go back to Powell! The Pony Pals follow her and find Sandy with a broken ankle. They help her and convince her not to go back to Powell. Um...that's it.

More notes:
Another horse? It's a miracle!

I would be crabby, too, if I had to camp in the rain with my mom for three days.

Anna, we know you're an ignorant person. Kindly try not to display your ignorance.

Pam thinks they're criminals.

It's like if there's another pony in town, it has to be the same breed as the Pony Pals' ponies. Dandy was the only exception.

They introduce themselves and each of their ponies. I don't think the nice people care.

CONTINUITY! In every other book up till now, Lulu's mother died when she was 4. In this one, they say 3. What's up with that?

Maybe she died on the day before Lulu's 4th birthday. Big question: HOW DID SHE DIE??

The pony's name is Raffle. I used to think that was the coolest name ever. But I like Waffle better.

Ew, horse named Willow. And it's a boy. Watched any Val Kilmer movies lately?

So messed up. They're moving to Reston. Maria's husband and sons took the car, and since they don't have a horse trailer, they're RIDING to Reston. WTH?? Isn't there a service that takes your horses to wherever in a trailer? I'M SURE THERE IS! Or you could BUY one.

Mrs. Crandal knows Maria. It's a small world....

Sandy: Can I call Liana now? You said I could.
Maria: Honey, don't you think it will just make you sadder?
Lulu: *Who is Liana and why would talking to her make Sandy sad?*
Gee, I can figure that out. Can't you?

Sandy doesn't want to make new friends because you're in a cult and she doesn't want to move. Leave her alone.

Okay, Sandy's just being annoying. I've noticed whenever there's a new girl in town, she's mean, shy, and self-centered. WHY IS THIS???? Are there no extroverts out there that want to move to a small horse-worshiping town?

Anna: That Sandy sure is bossy.
Like you're not....

I love Vivien Kubbos' drawings of ponies. Take that, Paul Bachem!!

Sandy looks like Dorothy Hammill with blonde hair. And Raffle is way adorable.

Sandy doesn't want Raffle outside with the other ponies. Duh. Lightning bites.

OMG, THEY'RE HAVING SPAGHETTI AGAIN! It's like our family and pasta. We're not even Italian. THAT wasn't stereotyped.

Anna compares Sandy to Rema Baxter. Can't make the connection. Rema's a desperate fiendish loser. Sandy's just mean.

Sandy's crying herself to sleep...cuz she cannot keep their attention. Sorry, Bethany Dillon song.

Pam: I don't think she knows how to make new friends.
I've heard that excuse before. Either she's a complete idiot or she knows very well what she's doing. And I think she just hates you.

Mmm, blueberry muffins.

Ew, this is so obviously a jab at Sandy.
Mrs. Crandal: It looks likeyou're stuck here with us, Maria.
Maria: I don't mind. I'll watch you teach and get some more ideas on how to run a riding school. Besides, I like making new friends.
Mrs. Crandal: Me, too.
We get it. You're daughter is a freak.

Lulu thinks Sandy is fatty because she takes a lot of food. Methinks she's running away.

Raffle tries to kill Acorn. But we don't know why. Because Acorn is the friendliest pony in the world!!

Ew, Liana's pony was named Peaches.

Sandy: Liana's my best friend in my whole life.
That sentence doesn't really flow.

Sandy is galloping on muddy ground. So the Pony Pals gallop after her to tell her to slow down. What's wrong with this picture??

Adorable picture of Acorn. He looks like he's supposed to.

Anna tries to use the whole, "It's three against one," tactic on Sandy. But Sandy basically tells her to screw off.

Sandy's being all nice. Because she doesn't want them to suspect anything. Duh.

Anna takes it seriously.

Anna also strips. Bad pictures.

Now they figure out that Sandy is a liar. Took you long enough.

You are not a good detective, Lulu. Gotta hit 'em with a dose of reality now and then.

Lulu tries to think like Sandy Nation. She makes Sandy sound all whiny. It's pretty funny.

Agh, they're calling it pony plop again.

No, Pam, don't go for help. Let's try to find Sandy ON OUR OWN with NO ADULT SUPERVISION. Losers.

Look, a huge pony imprint in the ground.
Anna: Maybe a fox got in a fight with another animal.
Are you serious?

I'm really confused as to why you can't ride with a sprained ankle. You could just mount on THE OTHER SIDE.

She sprained her ankle, I don't think she cares where help comes from.

Lulu mistakes a bracelet for a bird.

Why is Raffle wearing a halter? Is it under his bridle? Because how else did she ride there?

Sandy tries to convince the Pony Pals to help her get back to Powell. So if the police get involved, they'll get in trouble for helping a minor escape???

EVERYONE KNOWS HOW TO WRAP AN ACE BANDAGE!!

You can SO ride with a sprained ankle. Just mount on the side requiring your nonsprained foot and make your horse walk.

Ew, Sandy has two other friends and they solve problems together. Like the Pony Pals.

I have to admit, Sandy planned ahead.

Anna is shocked Sandy would have the balls to stay in the woods alone.

We have to hear stuff about Lulu's move from England. :P

RESTON AND POWELL AREN'T THAT FAR APART??? Then why is there this big drama???

You don't like Sandy, stop lying.

Sandy made fun of Pam. I like this girl.

Sorry, guys, but if you want to be my friend, you have to be smart AND brave. :P What is this, Harry Potter?

"Don't put your feet in the stirrups. That would hurt." JUST LOWER THE STIRRUPS!!! IT WILL NOT HURT!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaagh. Lulu pulls the biggest guilt card of all: "I don't have a mother, so you should be grateful that you do!!!" Unbelievable. MANIPULATION!!

Because you had a bad day, or Pony Pals #18: The Saddest Pony

This is another book that makes me feel very, very bad for Pam. The Pony Pals are ganging up on her again and again Pam has to apologize for HER bad behavior. I wish she could escape these people. But if you ask me who's my favorite Pony Pal, I'm not sure if I have one. I'd have to say that I can probably tolerate Pam the longest, followed by (surprise!) Anna, then Lulu on the very bottom. I think #16 ruined her character for me. I hope you'll shake your head with me as we read this sad, sad tale.



Plot: Pam is out riding Lightning when she finds a pony in a seemingly abandoned barn. The pony looks very sick and the barn is in terrible condition. Pam tells the Pony Pals and they go back to visit the pony, but are caught by its owners.
Lulu and Anna want to call the police and accuse the owners of animal abuse, but Pam doesn't actually believe the owners are guilty of animal abuse. Lulu and Anna thinks this is stupid and emotionally abuse her for several pages.
Finally, the Pony Pals find out that the old people that own Ginger (the old, sick pony) are really nice and they're just poor, so they don't take of Ginger. But Lulu and Anna don't admit they were wrong and require an apology from Pam. Grrr....
The Pony Pals visit the Quinns (the old people) and offer to take care of Ginger and give them food. They also give the Quinns a cat to replace their old one and have Dr. Crandal give all the animals antibiotics. And everyone is happy.

More notes:
Jeanne Betancourt has learned personification. Actually, she learned that a long time ago, but her usage of it in this book are better.

Another example of people not controlling their ponies.

Anna: Pam, we packed the best lucnh. Ham and cheese sandwiches and, of course, brownies.
You would think they would get tired of brownies. And ham and cheese sandwiches aren't that great. At least not together.

Yeah. Eating lunch in a ghost town. Fun.

I see we have a new illustrator.... The girls actually look their age, but I hate her style. The author's, that is.


Say what? The Crandals own three ponies (Lightning, Splash, Daisy) and board several horses. Who are those several? Is Paint one of them?

Isn't it wrong to spy on people? They should at least use a different word than "spy".

"Ginger. Ginger. You are a bad old girl." That makes me laugh. No idea why.

Why is she inspecting Ginger's hoof? She only inspects one hoof. I would understand it if she did all four, but only one? Don't see the point of this.

Anna's drawings have gotten even worse because of the new illustrator. I miss Paul Bachem.

OMG, ANNA SAID "POOP"! HALLELUJAH!!

Do the police actually handle animal abuse charges? I didn't think they did. Maybe I'm wrong.

They need more evidence, Pam says. She just disagreed with the Pony Pals. Bring on the manipulation and emotional abuse.

"It's two against one. You have to do what Lulu and I want." Shut up, Anna.

What a mature response: "I know more about ponies than you do. You have to do what I want."

Pam says, "Let's go," and Anna thinks she's being bossy. Shut up, whore.

Anna's just being a brat. HATE HATE HATE. She and Lulu are pretty even on the annoyance scale now.

Gee, something couldn't be wrong with Ginger's teeth to make her not want to eat, could there?

Who would want to steal an old sick pony?

Oh, right, Pam, run away. That's pretty much a confession right there.

"They're horrible. That's why they abuse Ginger."
"He was pointing a gun at you. He wanted to shoot you."
1. They're poor and old, not horrible.
2. IT WAS A FREAKING CANE! How do you mistake a cane for a gun????

Lulu: Pam, why don't you want to tell the police about Ginger's owners?
Pam: We dont' know anything about that old couple. THey might need help, too.
This is the closest Anna and Lulu get to apologizing.
Anna: Maybe you're right.
Lulu: We don't even know their names. There's a lot we don't know about them.
That sounded like Lulu was blaming Anna. Now for the unnecessary apology.
Pam: I'm sorry I was so bossy.
Anna: I hate it when you act like that.
YOU LITTLE HYPOCRITE!!!
Pam: I know. I hate it, too.
Anna: We forgive you.
Ho.

Why, Pam?
Richard and Gertrude Quinn. Have lived on farm for seventy years.
Why not just make it a complete sentence??

My grandma's name is Shirley.

They had a black cat. Just like Shadow.

HOLY CRAP! Ginger used to pull a milk cart 30 years ago. How old is she, then???

All of a sudden Lulu is opposed to spying. Gee, you weren't opposed to it when you spied on Kim, much less 20 pages ago.

Duh. They're old. They yell because they can't hear.

The dog's name is Snappy. Heh. That's what Bob said about Oggy. That really makes me want a dog named Snappy.

They Pony Pals are even controlling Pam's breakfast choices?
Lulu: We both want orange juice and French toast. What about you?
Don't follow the crowd, Pam....
Pam: I'll have the same thing.
Aargh.

Oh my goodness. A very horrible drawing that Anna is supposed to have done. It's worse than her previous drawings.

I didn't know social workers helped old people.

Oh no, a moving story about Mrs. Harley's childhood. The Quinns gave her free milk and eggs.

Again, why would they want to steal Ginger, who is really old, has arthritis, and overlong teeth?

Aw, a picture of the Quinns. They're so adorable.

Violet Croft? That's Anna's grandma's name. That's a horrible name.

Wonder if she was related to Lara Croft....

They spell thank you "thankyou". Who edited this book??

Toby is not a cat name. I KNEW THE DEAD CAT WAS THE REASON FOR ALL THE SADNESS!!!

Duh. I told you her teeth were too long.

The Crandals have a palomino thoroughbred named J.B. Such a lie.

Ginger is 35. Daaang.

MR. CONWAY IS BACK! THE CREEPY GUY WHO TOLD GHOST STORIES FROM SUPER SPECIAL #3!

Ew, they wish upon a star.

I want Meals on Wheels. Pasta every night.

I find it weird that they consider Shadow Acorn's cat.

Anna is being way annoying and pessimistic.

Ew, Acorn is being creepy with Shadow.

Ginger isn't sad because she has arthritis and orthodontial problems. She just misses her kitty friend. Right.

So they decide to give away Fat Cat's last kitten. HOW IS HE STILL A KITTEN, at least 20 summers have passed since that incident. Maybe he is frozen in time, too.

Pam is having second thoughts about this. Just give them Fat Cat, no one likes her anyway. Keep Pal for yourself if you like him so much.

Ponies aren't often frightened by the meowing of cats.

Apparently everyone who's ever lived is somehow connected to the Quinns. Even people in real life are somehow connected to two fictional old people in a children's book.

OMG, PAL IS SO ADORABLE!

Heh. Ginger likes pain meds.

That was awful. The more I think about it, I think the Pony Pals are a cult. Because they're exclusive, secretive, and no one questions the leadership.
I need to read the three steps of identifying a cult again. Party on.
I HATE ANNA.

And they're channeling 40's noir films, or Pony Pals #17: Detective Pony

Lost cats in the woods. Sounds slightly familiar.



Plot: Anna goes to wake up Acorn so they can go riding, but finds him already awake...with a cat by his side. The cat seems to have a weird obsession with Acorn and follows the Pony Pals around. Finally, they can't stand it anymore and take it to Dr. Crandal's.
At the barn sleepover that night, THE BARN SETS ON FIRE! THE KITTY IS IN DANGER! But Acorn smells the fire and all the animals are saved in time. But everyone's favorite cat has gone missing!
The next morning, the Pony Pals go into the woods to search for him and find him in a tree, having been beaten up by a bobcat.
They take him BACK to Dr. Crandal's.
Acorn seems to really love this kitty, and Anna has always wanted a pet, so she tries to convince her mom (WHO IS ALLERGIC TO CATS!!) to let her keep him. Mrs. Harley is about to say no when she sees the kitty laying across Acorn's shoulders. She is so overcome by the cuteness that she agrees to keep him. Anna names the cat Shadow. And all is well.

More notes:
Most people don't put collars on their cats. That's a dog thing.

How convenient. It's winter vacation...AGAIN. Wait, wasn't it summer vacation in books #15 AND #16???? WHAT'S UP?

Read this sentence.
"Pam's father was a veterinarian and he took care of most of the cats, dogs, horses, cows, and pigs in Wiggins."
Since when are there cows and pigs in Wiggins? And it would've been a lot easier to say, "...all the animals in Wiggins."

Wow. Dr. Crandal is actually working on a patient. This never happens.

The Crandals suddenly have a kennel that houses A LOT of animals. This has never been mentioned before.

Oh, and they board horses. Didn't know that either.

Brandy is a girl's name.

Lol, the cat has been ALTERED. ROFL. Trouser snake.

Didn't your sister own a cat, Anna? Your mother was never allergic THEN.

This is about Lulu:
"She lived in tents, rode elephants, and hid behind bushes to watch the monkeys play."
Ah yes. Lulu the wild woman.

There's like 4 pages on Lulu and 2 paragraphs on Anna and Pam. And they're combined.

They're going to bed at 9:30. Right.

You would think they would notice if the animal clinic is in flames.

Dr. Crandal doesn't want the Pony Pals being heroes. But he's allowed to go back into the burning building.

Shouldn't you always have your horse's halter on? Unless he's alone in his stall?

I knew Anna's dad was a firefighter!

They let Lulu go back into a burning barn, but not Anna and Pam? Do the Crandals not like Lulu?

Lol. Mr. Harley looks like Darth Vader. From "Return of the Jedi". Sans helmet.

Heh. Acorn saved a bunch of animals from burning alive. All Lightning has ever done is "protect" a bunch of stupid kittens. And Snow White "saved" forest animals from certain death. Sort of. Not really.

Bad drawing: Lightning is bay and Snow White has huge eyes. After this book, I think Jeanne Betancourt got fed up with Paul Bachem and got a new illustrator.

Pam called Acorn stupid.

How do you mistake raccoon tracks for cat tracks?

Pam and Lulu call Anna stupid and try to force her to go back home. But Anna's all, "You can go home, I'ma keep looking," like Pam did in #9. Ha. And, because they refuse to be seperated for 2 seconds, they go with her.

I don't believe those are bobcat tracks. They're exactly the same size and shape as the regular cat tracks shown in the book.

Oooh, violence.

I thought cats always landed on their feet. If he gets too cold and falls, he'll just land on his feet, Lulu.

The cat is covered in blood.

If a bobcat is four times bigger than a housecat, how come its paws are only two times bigger?

We understand how to clean wounds, Dr. Crandal.

Pam: Could we keep him here?
Dr. Crandal: We aren't adopting any more animals.
You could trade in Fat Cat for this cat. No one likes Fat Cat anyway.

I still can't figure out how Mrs. Harley is suddenly allergic to cats.

"It'll be cold in there." "Hm. Let's put a pillow in it." Pillows make everything better.

Mr. Harley is a firefighter AND a carpenter?

Uh oh, infestation. Instead of investing in a cat, couldn't you just call the exterminator?

Your parents didn't want you to have a pony because you were FAILING SCHOOL, not because they hated animals. Anna, Anna, Anna....

No one sneezes just thinking about cats.

Heh. Mr. Harley likes cats and isn't allergic to them. The exact opposite of my dad.

That's dramatic. "It's my pony. He saved the cat's life."
And yet Pam gets to tell the whole exciting story? Shut up, Pam. It's not your pony. Your pony doesn't do anything cool; it just "saves" kittens.

They manage to convince Mrs. Harley in 2 seconds that they need a cat. She agrees so quickly!

Fuzzy is an awful suggestion, Pam.

They want to make the house 2x1x1. Is that really big enough?

Black Beauty is a stupid suggestion, Lulu.

No one wants a cat named Kitty, Lulu.

Pam, just shut up and stop suggesting things.

Eh. Shadow is better than No Name. *glares at Pam* I would've named him Faithful after the cat in the Tamora Pierce books, but hey. At least it's not Smokey.

Yeah. Not too bad. Anna seemed more tolerable in this one. #18 about the emo abused pony coming up tomorrowish.

YOU'VE ANGERED THE DEMONS, or Super Special #3: Pony Pals: The Ghost Pony

What is with Jeanne Betancourt and Super Specials? I'm not seeing a pattern as to when these Super Specials are supposed to come out. Maybe she just writes them when she gets bored? Lol, I just saw a noose in the shape of a heart. Not morbid at all.



Plot: The Pony Pals are digging around in Morristown, a ghost town. While they're there, they hear mysterious noises that scare their ponies! Gasp! Could it be a ghost?
Then a bunch of people start telling the Pony Pals ghost stories and they pee their pants.
But while at the Historical Society, they find a story about a girl named Emily from 1870. Emily was their age and even had a pony! How...nice. They read a stupid newspaper story about how Emily got trapped on a mountain and her pony Angel died to save her. Now they're convinced the ghostie they heard in Morristown was really Angel, but she's a nice ghost. They're not scared anymore.
Then they read Emily's diary, dig up Angel's grave, make her a new headstone, and participate in the Wiggins Historical Fair. Then they give this stupid moving tribute to Angel. Seriously. That was it.

More notes:
Since when do you need string to play with tops??

Aaargh, Anna believes in ghosts.

I believe in demons. But I don't believe there are demons in Morristown.

Wth, Snow White looks like a palomino...

Heh. Anna thought she saw a ghost in her bedroom when she was 5. Now she's afraid of them.

Pam is so annoying in this one. "That wasn't a ghostly noise. That was the wind." That's what they said in "The Secret Garden" and it turned out to be a crazy crippled boy.

So lame. The noises they hear sound like, "Oh-oo-oo, oh-oo-oo." How are you even supposed to pronounced that? Sounds like a bad pop song.

Sure, Pam. An owl made that noise. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY.

ANNA AND LULU ARE HOLDING HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lulu listens to tape recordings of owls all the time, so she knows it wasn't an owl noise. Wow.

They hear a whinny. GHOST PONY!!!

Yes Pam, we know there are no such things as ghosts.

IT WAS NOT THE WIND WHISTLING THROUGH THE TREES! AAAAAGH! SHUT UP!

Oh, it couldn't have been Tommy and Mike. They're in Washington, D.C. I thought Mike was poor.

A ghost town does not actually refer to ghosts.

OMG THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A MORGAN PONY! MORGANS ARE FREAKING HORSES!

Duh, Morgans are known for pulling heavy loads. Ever heard of Justin Morgan?

Angel tried to wake Emily up with nudges and hot breath. Sorry. That just sounds way funny.

How did Angel die? She was injured, but not that injured. And they did not use the phrase "put down" in 1870. Anachronistic.

SO LAME: May Angel rest in peace. She is, indeed, an Angel.
What? Why would you capitalize Angel if it's not her name in the last part? So dumb.

Yes, people tend to be sad when their animals DIE.

Mr. Conway doesn't want to talk to three 10-year-old girls. What a surprise.

Lame. He believes in ghosts. And was confronted by the ghost pony. *gag*

He also believes in the crying baby ghost. And the ghost of Mr. Warner, who trips you with his chains!!

I don't think Mr. Warner will trip your ponies. BECAUSE HE ISN'T REAL.

Yeah, riding at night, not a smart plan anyway.

Now Pam believes in ghosts.

He can't speak for the ghosts. Heh. This old man is so mean it's funny.

I wasn't sure if they had metal charm bracelets in 1870.

SHE'S DEAD, Pam. I think it's okay to read her stupid diary.

I hate people who write in their diary like it's a real person. That's why I could read "The Diary of Anne Frank".

I bet Lucy, Meg, and Emily are reincarnations of the Pony Pals.
Emily = Lulu. There's the whole "I killed my pony" guilt thing going on.
Lucy = Pam. They live farther away than the other two.
Meg = Anna. Cuz she has a mischevious pony.

Lame New year's resolutions.

Aw, read this poem.
Here lies Emily's Angel
She was a true, brave friend
May she be remembered always
It's like a bad attempt at a haiku.

PLEASE don't let the Pony Pals write something for the fair.

Aren't you supposed to be controlling Acorn, not the other way around?

They find a piece of slate that says "Ed always", and they think it can't be Angel's because it says "Ed" on it. "Ed always"? THAT MAKES NO SENSE!

Oh, duh, it's from "remembered always"!

Why does Mrs. Crandal just happen to have a big piece of slate in her garage.

Lame. Pony Pals are pretending to be from the "olden days".

And they write a horrible piece on 1870.

Creepy. They hold a seance-type grave digging thingy.

The world is a cruel, cruel place, or Pony Pals #16: The Missing Pony Pal

AAAAAAAAAAAARGH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! THIS BOOK SUCKED! I wish I could give it an F! I wish I could give it lower than an F! I wish I could ban every this book from every library and every bookstore in the world. AAAAAAGH! It SUCKED SO BAD!



Plot: Oh boy! A gymkhana! Lulu and Snow White LOVE gymkhana! But when practicing pole bending, Snow White leans too far and she and Lulu topple over. Lulu ends up bruising her thigh and Snow White sprains a tendon.
The next 70 pages are a bunch of CRAP on how AWFUL Lulu FEELS about EVERYTHING that she EVER DID, including get born. Haaaaate.
The Pony Pals try to convince Lulu it was an accident, but she doesn't believe them and literally runs into the woods (DURING A STORM!) after vowing never to ride again.
She comes back, unfortunately, and realizes that she is a big IDIOT and that it was an accident and she needs to STOP BEING SUCH A FREAKING WIMP. So then the Pony Pals win all the gymkhana games. BOOOOOOOO!

More notes:
I literally marked every single page.

I'm tired of the mention of Lulu's stay in England, and Lightning's valiant kitten rescue.

Pole bending race. Sort of self explanatory. Or at least easy to explain.

They leave Lulu lying on the ground after she falls.

Pam looks like Mrs. Laners....

Lulu has to go to the hospital. In an ambulance. Whatever.

She has NOT been living in Wiggins a short time. She's experienced like 6 summer vacations!

Why do Anna and Pam have to be exact opposites? Black, white. Tall, short. Smart, dumb. Bad artist, good artist.

I think Lulu DID hurt her brain in the fall. Or maybe it's always been like that.

Grandmother Sanders = ridiculously old fashioned. I bet she still wears petticoats.

How does the doctor know she has a big bruise on her thigh? Did he take off her pants?

Lulu thinks Snow White might be dead. Right.

Thank you for making the situation worse, Dr. Crandal.

THEY'RE EATING SPAGHETTI AGAIN!

Ponies don't moan. Or have nightmares.

WTH???? At the gymkhana, there will be a costume parade. Anna's ideas include a banana and...I'm not sure what that is. Also an artist and THE PONY COULD BE A PALETTE! HAHAHAHAHA!

Lulu would not be a good princess. Actually, yes she would. She whines a lot, but doesn't do anything about it.

Lulu keeps dwelling on stupid Snow White. "Omg, I almost KILLED my pony. *sob sob sob*"

Who's Paint? Since when do the Crandals have more than 2 riding ponies? I thought Mrs. Crandal didn't NEED a third pony!!!! WHO IS PAINT???

That's right, Lulu. Acting like a *itch will make everyone feel better.

Anna and Pam look like they want to kill Lulu.

IT'S A RACE! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GO FAST!
Lulu: Uh-uh! Safety first!
AAAAGH! SHUT UP!

Omg. Lulu = no sense of humor. Because riding is serious business. And you're not allowed to have fun with ponies.

I have nothing bad to say about Pam and Anna this whole book. I actually feel REALLY sorry for both of them.

Oooh, burn.
Pam: We need to have a Pony Pal meeting right now.
Lulu: About what?
Anna: About YOU!

They called Splash A GIRL. Um, Splash is A BOY. And Splash is NOT A NICE CALM PONY. Remember? Always rushing ahead?

Lulu is scared of squirrels.

Maybe Snow White is ignoring you because you're so FREAKING ANNOYING!!

Grandma Sandy, NOT HELPING.

YOU DIDN'T ALMOST KILL YOUR PONY! HORSES FALL DOWN IN LOTR ALL THE TIME!

THE PONY PALS ARE ACTUALLY APOLOGIZING!!!!! Well, Lulu isn't. But Pam and Anna are apologizing to her!!!! Huh. I'm proud of them.

They call Acorn a girl, too.

This totally reminds me of "Wizard Angst". "I QUIT MAGIC!"

Yeah, running into the woods is smart.

Where's the comma? "Lulu stop!"

Oh no, you're breaking all 5 Safety in the Woods rules!

OMG, Lulu almost gets struck by lightning. I cracked up laughing when I read that part.

They almost get hit by lightning again. And ANNA IS TALLER THAN PAM!!

Good thing Lulu knows how to track. The ONE thing she ever does right.

I don't think your ponies care that you are gone.

You don't have to ride to be a Pony Pal. I could be a Pony Pal if I wanted. I mean, I love ponies, I don't understand people, and I have no social skills.

Oh. We just got trapped in the woods for 2 hours. Want to go get lunch at the diner?

Anna just told Lulu to shut up. GO ANNA!

And then Anna starts crying. Yeah.

Aaaah, Lulu is not being a leader! THAT'S why Snow White is acting weird!

"My leader is back!" Totally reminds me of, "Take me to your leader."

The sack race has nothing to do with weaving in and out of poles! Stupid.

Yeah, that's right, BE SELFISH! Now your friends can't compete in the gymkhana games. Jerk.

Oh, such a sacrifice.

They win because Lulu grows a brain.

They lose every other race.

They describe Lulu's outfit to the slightest detail. And the picture is so not worth that 1000 words.

Lulu does not deserve all this special attention.

That SUCKED. Aaaargh. Tomorrow, #17 where they find another cat.

Who put that tree there?, or Pony Pals #15: The Blind Pony

Looking at the title, I REALLY wonder what this book could be about. I mean, a blind pony is definitely out of the question. And on the cover we have a very adorable pony tripping over its feet while Pam watches on with a shocked expression on her face. Lightning looks exactly the same as she did on the last cover. Dandy's back is way smaller than it should be. I don't think it can support him. Paul Bachem = worst illustrator ever.



Plot: Mrs. Baxter sells more property, because she can, and another old couple move into Wiggins! Their granddaughter Kim is visiting them for the summer and she's the Pony Pals age and she owns a pony, so she must be Mother Theresa. The Pony Pals try to become friends with her, but Kim is not very friendly and doesn't want the Pony Pals to mess with her pony.
After much investigation (like 2 hours worth), Pam finds out a shocking secret: Dandy, Kim's pony, is BLIND!!!
For some reason, Kim hasn't told anyone about this interesting development, and so far no one has noticed??? I think they would notice if the pony bumps into walls. But I digress. Now Kim is forcing Pam to keep her secret.
But the other Pony Pals find out. They always do. But they also decide to keep Kim's secret.
There is a bunch of secret keeping and frienship and doctoring (Mr. Crandal discovers Dandy's eyesight can't be restored; big whoop), and then they all decide to train Dandy to let Kim be his eyes.
Surprise! Kim's parents come earlier than expected with a new riding instructor and are shocked to find about Dandy's not so stellar (or lack of) vision. But the Pony Pals save the day and show that people/ponies with disabilities are worth everyone's time. Yeah, no heavy message there. Not like I think disabled people are worthless, but I don't use ponies as an allegory to support them. Moving on.

More notes:
Mrs. Baxter: *bla bla bla about the Wright family* Her name is Kim Wright.
Pam: I bet you want us to be friends with Kim.
Mrs. Baxter: You guessed it. I told her all about the Pony Pals. Kim is your age. But there's something else she has in common with you.
Pam: She has a pony?!
I can't wait for the day Pam is wrong, and Mrs. Baxter says, "No, actually, she's black."

An AWFUL picture of Lightning: Her head is bigger than her entire body and her legs are too thin. And Pam looks like Rudy from "The Cosby Show".

So what, she doesn't ride her pony over? Not that strange. Actually, yeah, you could ride a blind pony just as easily as a nonblind pony.

DANDY! Best pony name ever, right up there with Acorn, Tongo, Mushroom, and Bubble.

Ballin. Kim is studying French over the summer. Lucky.

There goes Anna with her snob business again. She really needs a new perspective.

They act like Kim is such a jerk. Maybe she's just shy. Or she doesn't like you.

Oh no, Kim won't let Dandy interact with Lightning!! Wait, is this the same Lightning that frequently bites people? I wonder why she's so afraid of her....

SHE JUST WANTS TO GO LAST! WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT???

Dandy bumps into a tree. Lol.

Lulu and Anna are being all mean to Kim, and then blame her for a bad time.

Um, Kim, Dandy doesn't speak English, so telling him, "There's a turn coming up," might not be that helpful.

Ha. Grandma manipulation.

Why is it weird to lead your horse into a stall?

DANDY IS HUGE IN ONE PICTURE! At least 16 hands. Um, pony?

Ugh, fluff on feelings and loving ponies and personality.

Why do we need to know how many jokes Pam told?

Dandy runs into a doorway.

Pam is all spazzing out because she can't tell her Pony Pals! Like she tells them everything. Sorry, but there are some things I wouldn't want to know unless you needed to borrow a tampon or something.

I've had friends leave a sleepover while everyone else is sleeping. It's not that weird.

Ooh, they're going to spy on Kim! How mature.

Lulu and Anna are nodding sadly. I nodded sadly for about ten minutes after reading this. It's way fun.

Yeah, another instance where they're suddenly all nice after being such hos before and no apology is necessary.

Yeah, why IS Dandy's blindness a secret? You can still ride a blind horse. And possibly show. There was that whole book on the blind dog that did agility contests. Sure, he did them really SLOW, but.... Agh, that was a sad book. I'm going to cry.

It was called "The Soul of the Silver Dog", if you want to know.

Another book about parent expectation. But Kim doesn't want to ride in a horse show! She just wants to speak French! What is this, "High School Musical"?

OMG, Kim apologized. And they didn't. Jerks.

Two sleepovers in a row? What?

WHY WOULD YOU PUT A BLIND ANIMAL TO SLEEP? YOU DON'T PUT BLIND PEOPLE TO SLEEP!

Lulu actually wrote a complete sentence for once.

THOSE DANG KITTENS AGAIN! They reference "Too Many Ponies" every chance they get. SO ANNOYING.

It takes Dr. Crandal forever to figure out Dandy is blind. "Well girls, he is definitely blind." Yeah. Like we didn't know that.

This is suddenly all medical drama-y. "Can you cure him, Doctor?"

Kim is such a nerd. She studies all the time.

Dandy looks like he's going to fall on his face in one picture. He's all about to trip.

Yes, screaming, "UP!" at him really does work.

All this diner talk makes me want a chocolate milkshake. And not the crappy kind I make with a spoon.

Why is it funny that Pam sounds just like her mother? Her mother's really mean.

OMG, MRS. CRANDAL REMINDS ME OF CLAIR HUXTABLE!!!

I'd want my daughter to have a blind pony. Actually, it would be preferable not to have one in the first place, but I wouldn't make her get rid of it.

Ugh, chapter nine is titled, "The Wrights are Wrong."

I can speak French, too! I know what tres bien means!

Mr. Wright looks like Richard Gere. And Mrs. Wright is blonde. And they look apalled. Kim is all, "Why me?"

Mr. Wright: Blind!
Mrs. Wright: What do you mean?
I mean he CAN'T SEE.

So lame.
Mr. Wright: What's anyone supposed to do with a blind pony?
Pam: Take care of him.
Lulu: Be his friend.
Anna: And love him.

Heh. Dr. Crandal's name is Robert.

Why do all the married women in this series insist on keeping their maiden name? "I'm Laura Thompson Wright." "I'm Cynthia Prindle Stewart."

Pam rubs Lightning's upside-down heart for luck. That's so Saddle Club-y.

Lol I totally pictured Kim's parents being all "Anchorman".
"You rode a blind pony? That's amazing! I'm not even mad."

It's not that hard to keep your grades up and ride at the same time.

Kim is sad that she has to leave Wiggins. DON'T BE!

Omg, there's this contest entry form in the back of the book that I filled out when I was like, I don't know, 8. It's in crappy cursive and I used a fake name.

1) What is Anna's pony's name?
Acorn.

2) What do the Pony Pals call their riding trail?
Pony Pal Trail

3) On whose estate do the Pony Pals often ride their ponies?
Mrs. Wiggins estate (yes, I realize she is single and her name is Ms.)

4) What kind of pony is Lulu's pony, Snow White?
A Welsh Pony

Circle one: girl
Name: Karen halls (lies)
Birth date: 2/17/94 (lies)
City: Venice
State: California (wtf?)

I was a WEIRD kid when I was little. I remember really hating the name Lauren and I'd always want to change it to Kristen, Karen, Candace, or some crappy K name. I like Anastasia for a long time, too. Soooooo cool. Not.
Yeah, if I had won that contest, I would've received 6 months of free riding lessons. Darn.
Well, the deadline was 1997 and I filled this out 2001ish. My grandma gave me this book. Lol. Cool beans.

I really wish I had "Circus Pony", but that will most likely never happen. Ugh, so not excited about "The Missing Pony Pal" now, because it's about a stupid gymkhana accident and Snow White gets hurt and is all wimpy and the illustrations show Anna as being taller than Pam. What??? I'll go do homework or something now.