Oh no you di'n't, girlfriend, or Pony Pals #4: Give Me Back My Pony

Yeah. I've got way too much free time. And these books are crazy short. Seriously, the first one was 103, the second one was under 100, the third one was 96, and the fourth was 82. If these get any shorter, they shall become picture books.
I should probably slow down. But then I would have nothing to do.



Plot: Awwww, Lulu is moving back to...nowhere. Her dad doesn't know yet. But she's bummed because she's not only losing her pony to Rema (who is coming home any time now), but she'll be losing the only friends she ever had (she doesn't say that, but you know it's true). Everyone is sad.
(If you forgot, Rema is Snow White's real owner from whom Lulu is leasing her.)
Rema comes home suddenly, and the Pony Pals go to meet her, only to find out that Anna has been right all along: REMA IS A HUGE SNOB. She's also a _itch (there are so many letters you could use), jerk, and...the list goes on. And she treats Snow White badly.
Maybe that's why Snow White keeps running away to Lulu's house.
A great weight is lifted off Lulu's shoulders when her dad comes home and tells her they're not moving after all, because he wants to study black bears in Wiggins!!! Yaaaay! How...exciting! So now the Pony Pals have to concoct a plan to buy Snow White.
But Rema tricks them and sells Snow White to someone else! OH NO!
But then the Pony Pals, the lil tricksters, convince Anita (Snow White's new owner) to buy the Morgan Mr. Olson tried to sell to Anna in book #2. Yaaay. Then Lulu buys Snow White. Yaaaaay. And there was much rejoicing. Yaaaay.

More notes:
Snow White looks really pretty on the cover. Rema looks at least 15 or 16 and Lulu looks like she's 8 and somewhat Asian???

Lulu called Anna dumb. AGAIN.

"Rema's too old to be a Pony Pal. She's around fourteen." Oh, right, because Pony Pals is only for cool ten-year-olds. The author says at the end of the book that you're never too old to be a Pony Pal. Lies.

There Lulu goes, singing "Jingle Bells" again....

They describe Rema as being older because she wears makeup. Uh, I've seen 10-year-olds wear make-up. And I'm fourteen and I don't wear makeup. Who's older?

Who feeds a pony chocolate? Wouldn't the pony seize up and die?

"If I'd known you were so young I wouldn't have left my horse with you. You sounded older in your letters." Ooooh, BAM.

Rema: Wiggins is sooooo boring. What do you do here?
Lulu: But there's so much to do! There's hiking and fishing and...
Rema: I didn't mean what YOU kids do. I meant what teenagers do. LIKE ME.
Hehehehehe. She's mean but funny.

Lulu lets her grandma curl her hair. Because she just doesn't care anymore. If I were that depressed, I'd let my grandma do something COOL, like dye it pink. But noooo....

Yay, a surprise party. SURPRISE.

Jack and Jill are so dumb and crafty!!

Mrs. Wiggins is so lame. "Here...I bought you a journal!" Right...thanks. A red plaid journal. Yessiree...

Anna gave her a portrait of Snow White. How...wonderful.

"Thank you for the party."
"We thought of inviting Rema."
"But then we met her."
OOOOH, BAM. These girls are so MEAN in this book. But it's funny and refreshing to see them act human. And like girls.

"No place is as good as Wiggins. Because no place will have the Pony Pals."
"I know what you mean. How could it?"
And they think this is hilarious. Uhhh, why? I mean, obviously they couldn't have the Pony Pals.... It just doesn't make sense to me.

Lulu's dad tries to break into the Crandall barn. How creepy... "Awww, Dad, you wanted to surprise me!" Noooo, maybe he's a creepy stalker/robber. He should be arrested.

Lulu's dad totally looks like George Lopez.

"I'm going to study the black bear!" He could do that in Washington...

The description of Rema riding Snow White reminded me of myself....

Heh. Deer shriek.

The Pony Pals have a crazy high five fest. This sounds like a Youtube video. I'd love to make one. In slow-mo.

Anna keeps talking about Pony Power. It gets old fast.

They mention buying a pony once to Mr. Sanders and he's all for the idea. :O How is it THAT EASY?

Aha, it's Winifred Wiggins in this book.

LOL there's a picture where Anna looks like a 3 year old.

Anna's pictures are actually good in this book.

Seriously, if that Morgan is such a great horse, how come no one's bought him? Book #3 takes place in like early March. Book #4 is in early to late June. COME ON!!!

Rema looks like Minnie Driver in one picture.

The Pony Pals are shocked that Snow White could shock $2000 dollars. Why not? Isn't that normal for any horse/pony?

OMG, sexism!!! "Tommy wouldn't want a pony. All he cares about is football and teasing girls!" OMG, THAT IS SO HILARIOUS! I laughed for a long time after reading that. Don't ask why.

Mrs. Rand is a horrible parent. She allows Tommy to bully young children. And people wonder why he keeps getting into jail.

If Snow White is 13.2 hands and a Morgan is 14.1 to 15 hands, that's more than just a "little bigger".

HAHAHAHA! THE MORGAN'S NAME IS MORGAN!!! Aaaagh, that kind of annoys the living daylights out of me.