When I first started reading these, I never actually finished a lot of them because they were SO BORING! And, anyway, you could get the basic plot just by looking at pictures. This one is especially boring. I don't even know why I was so obsessed with this series. :P
Plot: Meet Lucinda "Lulu" Sanders, a ten-year-old leaving in a small town, recently abandoned by her father (well, not really, but he has a job in South America or something). She lives with her grandmother, who wants her to be "ladylike". *groan* I hate heroines who are always all, "Bla bla, I wanna be me! Not a lady!" Crap. Lulu (seriously, what kind of name is that? It's worse than Lucinda.) loves ponies, and VOILA! On a hike, she discovers a beautiful white Welsh pony!!! It's love at first sight, folks. She sings it songs with said pony and they have a picnic together.
Then disaster strikes.
Because Lulu is a nosy little snit, she goes back (TRESPASSING!) and finds that the pony somehow got stuck in a barbed wire fence. HOW THE HECK DO YOU GET STUCK IN A BARBED WIRE FENCE? But the pony's trapped, so Lulu sings songs and all that jazz, saving the pony's life. Bla bla bla, PAM AND ANNA, two horsey gals, come along, call the vet, and THE PONY IS SAVED!
But Mr. Baxter (the pony's owner) blames Lulu for the pony's (OMG, HER NAME IS SNOW WHITE! I HATE ALL THIS "PONY" NONSENSE!) injuries and wants to put her to sleep!!!!! *GASP* Snow White, not Lulu, that is. But he comes to his senses, Lulu becomes best friends with Pam and Anna, and is in love with Snow White, bla bla bla.
But Pam and Anna start pressuring Lulu into keeping Snow White, so they come up with "Three Great Ideas" on how to keep Snow White. In the end, Lulu gets to lease Snow White (FOR FREE!!! How come this never happens to me???) and all is rosy.
And this all happens in 103 pages. Not counting illustrations. With big print. Yeah. Could happen.
More notes:
Snow White is so ugly on the cover. There's this little pony icon on the top of every book to show you who the book is about (Snow White means Lulu, Acorn means Anna, and Lightning means Pam). Snow White looks seriously ugly, folks.
Lulu gets 25 dollars a week for allowance! A WEEK! And she's 10!!!
"There must be a law about keeping a horse in the backyard!" "Acorn's not a horse, ma'am. He's a pony." Smooth, Anna. Real smooth.
"That mean woman next door yelled and yelled like Acorn was some wicked animal!" Anna again. I don't think any ten year old uses the word "wicked". Unless they're trying to be stoner.
Lulu sings songs to a pony. And she's convinced Snow White's favorite song is "Jingle Bells". Oh, the mind of a ten-year-old.
This reminds me of that "Chicken Jane" show on "Between the Lions". "Hey, someone's signaling for help. Look." "It's that girl from yesterday." And they're shouting this. Are they both deaf?
Heh. They talk about painkillers for an entire paragraph.
"Lulu tried not to think of what would happen if the pony couldn't stand. She knew that horses with broken legs were shot." Uh, yeah...in the South, maybe. Not if you've got a veterinarian with you.
Twins named Jack and Jill. So lame.
Lulu's such a pessimist. Aaaagh, she's so ANNOYING in this one.
"I brought over some quiches and kiwi tarts left over from the party my mother catered." That's kind of gross. Who eats quiche?
Okay, so Mr. Baxter just started a new business and his father-in-law is dying, but that's no excuse not to take care of a horse. Riiiight. That's so PETA.
Actually, I was part of PETA when I was 6. Sort of.
"Mr. Livingston (Dr. Livingston, I presume?) was nice, and the other kids in the fifth grade were okay, too. But Lulu Sanders had only one thing on her mind during her first week at Wiggins Elementary. Snow White." I think that's gramatically incorrect. Shouldn't it be, "Wiggins Elementary: Snow White." And you wonder why Lulu has only two friends...
"He probably wishes Snow White died," Pam said. "So Lulu would have to pay and he wouldn't have to spend all his money." That's SO EVIL!!! Hello, his FATHER-IN-LAW IS DYING!!!
Pam: The fair thing is that Lulu should have the pony.
Anna: Especially because she saved Snow White's life.
Yeah, but that's life. He paid for the pony, he took care of the pony, it's HIS PONY. Screw this stuff that Lulu should have the pony. I SHOULD HAVE A PONY.
Ew, fifth grade humor.
Pam is such a control freak. She started the whole three ideas thing, and she was the one that started pressuring Lulu to buy Snow White.
Okay, these are the three ideas. Pam's is so awful.
Pam: Lulu buys Snow White with her allowance. (Yeah, $25 a week, that's $100 a month, and that's about 20 months with NO ALLOWANCE. I don't think her dad left her $2000 dollars.)
Anna: (She had to draw her idea. Everyone makes a huge deal about how artsy she is, but it really kind of sucks. It's a good idea, tho.) Lulu should rent Snow White from the Baxters. (It actually makes sense. *cough cough* PAM! *cough cough*)
Lulu: Write a letter to Rema Baxter and ask her if I can take care of Snow White while she's at school. Also tell her that I'd like to ride Snow White. (Whatever. That's like asking, "Can I borrow your car while you're not using it?" Sort of. Not really. It's just a dumb idea.)
Aaaagh, Pam looks like a little boy. But when I asked my mom about it so many years ago, she explained to me that Pam was black and that they looked different than we did. It was way uncomfortable.
"They're getting to know one another by smelling each other's breath!" This is from Pam about Acorn and Snow White. HA! I'm going to try that. "Hey sexy...smell my breath." Ew, that's sort of intimate and disgusting. What if you ate garlic?
Anna is way prejudiced against Rema. Every page she's all, "I hate that b****. She's a snob." Only she didn't say that exactly. But she calls her a snob every chance she gets.
Rema's letter: so lame.
Yay, Lulu gets Snow White.
"Lulu, Snow White's the perfect size for you!" Yeah, and so are these jeans for me, but they won't be in 28 days...
So that was it. Boring, I know. But I have 2-9, so expect a lot more to come out soon. Love you all. Sort of.
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