Also, I'm going to have to wait for stupid #11 to come, because someone else checked it out. I mean, forget the fact that I've had a hold on it for...a long time, but IT WAS PROBABLY SOME LITTLE KID, TOO!! AND LITTLE KIDS DON'T READ 77 PAGE BOOKS VERY FAST! I SHOULD KNOW!!!
It just curdles my beans.
Lulu looks interesting. She looks different in every picture in this book. Lulu must have a thing for plastic surgery. And Snow White looks like a mule. Hate.
Plot: The Pony Pals are just so adventurous and woodsy! Their parents have agreed to let them have a three day camping trip on Ms. Wiggins' property! Ooh, how exciting. I was never one for camping. Wierdos. But on their way to the campsite, Snow White steps in a trap. You can all gasp now. Lulu manages to get the trap off, but is convinced that some evil poachers are trying to kill her pony.
Yeah. Because everyone knows poachers trap ponies. In the woods. In Conneticutt.
Lulu tells Pam and Anna about the traps, and they go into the woods to find more so they can protect Bambi and friends from must certain death. While they are doing this, Tommy Rand and Mike Lacey come and make fun of them, bla bla bla bla.
Gasp! It turns out Tommy and Mike are the poachers!
The Pony Pals race to Ms. Wiggins' house after collecting evidence (one lousy picture of Tommy holding a trap) and tell her the whole story. Ms. Wiggins confronts the boys and ends up giving Mike a job because he's poor. SO LAME.
More notes:
In the beginning, Lulu is all sobbing because her dad won't let her come with him to Africa so they can watch elephants. And yet every time he tries to take her to Africa, she's like, "NO, I WANT TO STAY WITH MY FRIENDZ AND PONIEZ!!!"
He says she would hate it because they will be living in difficult conditions. And yet she's going CAMPING??
"I've been on hard trips with you before!" Since when. I'm trying to remember.
"They're are a lot of poachers where I'm going. They're shooting the elephants for their tusks. It's too dangerous to bring you." Wait, so Lulu might get shot? Man, now I'm sad she can't go.
MORE PETA MESSAGES. And it's not like I'm pro-poaching, but Mrs. Betancourt definitely has an agenda here.
The only restaurant in town is the Off-Main Diner. What? Not even a Pizza Hut? Or a McDonalds? STARBUCKS????
Lulu is apparently a really good tracker. Like Aragon.
Ew, weird picture. Lulu: Another face lift. Snow White: Still looks like a mule. Bunny: Looks just like Luke.
Snow White weighs a lot more than you do, Lulu, and you're 10. There's probably not a lot you can do to protect her.
Lulu looks like Emily Rose in the next picture. Exorcism, anyone?
Why would you say "full of fun"? Why couldn't you say "fun"?
The blurb on the Pony Pals is really short this time. Huh. I guess the author is learning....
Just because Pam is smart means she is a crappy artist.
Yeah. Yelling loudly in the woods with poachers about. Good plan.
Tuna sandwhiches, fruit salad, and brownies! What a feast!
Pam: Are you all right? You look funny.
Lulu: You scared me. I thought you were the poacher.
Anna: Poacher? What are you talking about?
I think Anna was having a Jon Reep moment. "Momma! Daddy's on the crack corn!" Lulu needs to go to rehab.
Pam, I know people are supposed to put their names on their traps, but that's like writing your name on a murder weapon. So these poachers were breaking the law, yes, but they weren't stupid.
Come on, Anna. I know what a pelt is. Pam knows what a pelt is. EVERYONE knows what a pelt is.
I thought Acorn was the one with good detective skills. Whatever.
Yes, Anna, we know you're not supposed to stick your hand in traps.
You can't really catch a trap. Just saying.
They think it's amazing that Snow White can smell a fish lure. HOW COULD YOU NOT?
Nice high-waisted jeans, Lulu. Actually, I think I have a pair just like those. Now I have incentive to never wear them again.
"Lulu could see that Tommy and Mike were startled when they first saw a big white animal on the trail. But then they realized it was just a pony, they kept coming toward the three girls." Well, yeah. What else could it be, besides a pony? A POLAR BEAR? "Lost", much?
Oh, how amusing.
Tommy: Hey, Mike. I think I just saw some strange bugs.
Mike: You mean bugs like pests?
Tommy: Yeah. Oh, I see. It's the Pony Pests.
Mike: I guess the Pony Pests ride their little ponies around here.
Tommy: Their little pesty ponies.
Really, though, they're in 8th grade. They're not that retarded.
Tommy tries to pet Snow White and Lulu has a spaz attack. "S-S-S-S-STOP ATTACKING MY PONY GRAWR!"
"Let's go, Tommy, before I fall asleep from boredom!" Sooooo funny.
If the Pony Pals care so much about colic, why is Lulu giving Snow White 50 bajillion carrots?
Ms. Wiggins would NEVER let jerks ride on her property! Um, hello, she lets little annoying 10-year-olds ride on her property. I don't think jerks are much worse.
Pam says "maybe" a lot in this book.
They use the word "silly" to describe the Pony Pest jokes. Aaaagh.
More boy humor. This is so lame.
More PETA.
Gee, someone's trapping out in the woods, where there's no one to hear you scream. That's a good reason NOT to tell your grandma what's going on. Lame.
I want what Anna's smoking, if she can wake up at 5:00 happy and cheerful. This happened in #7, too. ANNA'S ON THE CRACK CORN...but I don't care.
Acorn and Lightning are mentioned ONCE in this book, and then it's more Snow White worship.
"Fox...dollars...better than raccoon. Why...traps...broken?" Maybe the poachers took English as a second language.
"We haven't caught nothin'!" What a beautiful sentence. Tommy, you are a genius.
Mike is way sensitive.
Wait. It's against the law for kids to trap, yet my little brother's friend has a hunting license. I'm going to check that law.
I don't understand Anna's idea. It's a bunch of arrows and pictures and bad spelling.
PAM, YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT! She thinks they should TALK to Tommy and Mike and tell them that trapping is wrong. Because they're 8th grade boys and they'll listen to your jargon.
Really, how many animals do you think are in danger? Those traps were out for a while before you came along and no one had been caught then.
I think it's ironic that this chapter is called "Trapped!". Heh. It brought my hopes up, though. I was hoping for death and violence.
"She loves all the animals and wants to protect them." Right. If I were Tommy and Mike, I'd make fun of her, too.
I have to admit, venison lasagna is pretty tasty....
The rabbit part is a little annoying, though. "POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW!"
WHY DO THEY GO TO SCHOOL WITH TOMMY AND MIKE? THEY'RE IN 5TH GRADE!!! What kind of school do they go to, anyways?
Yay, Lulu is actually good at something for once.
That's why you turn off the flash BEFORE you take the picture.
"And because the girls were smaller than the boys, they could move faster through the dense part of the woods." Yeah, but they have longer legs.
Since when does Anna wear a headband?
If two boys are riding mountain bikes at top speed and you are trotting, it is VERY LIKELY THAT THEY WILL BEAT YOU.
The trail is too twisty for galloping. But Lulu makes Snow White gallop two seconds after thinking that.
There's a woman in front of Ms. Wiggins' house. It's Ms. Wiggins! DUH. She only lives there.
The boys were right on their heels, and yet it takes them half an hour to catch up with Pony Pals. LAAAAME.
Being mean is a good reason to go to jail. Not.
Ms. Wiggins: The girls can stay. We're talking about something that concerns them. They're worried about the safety of the animals in my woods. So am I.
Tommy: I told you they were tattletales.
COME ON, TOMMY! I thought you didn't want to get CAUGHT! You basically ADMITTED EVERYTHING! You just screwed yourself over.
Pam has to correct everyone.
Lulu is so mean.
Mike: My father taught me how to trap. We used to do it together. But with permits and everything legal.
Lulu: What father?
*flinch*
Didn't Mr. Lacey used to live in Ohio? Now he lives in Chicago. Guess she forgot?
"He gave me the traps. They were like a present from him." Uh, yeah. Technically when someone gives you something, it is a present.
I doubt trapping animals is going to get you enough for a plane ticket to Chicago.
She gives Mike a job because he's poor and has no father. That's...nice.
The last picture looks just like one from a previous book. SNOW WHITE, SO UGLY.
Only Snow White gets to be in the picture. Because she's a little detective pants.
That one was way boring. I'll get "Circus Pony" one of these days.
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