They're also called ripples, or Avalon: Web of Magic #1: Circles in the Stream

Well, ladies and jellybeans, it's finally here. You won't like it, though. I definitely did not. My favorite book from 4th grade was a pain to go through again. Let's examine the cover, first of all. It's all psychadelic, like an acid trip. That should have been my first clue. But I pressed onward. So, here you go: one messed up badly written preteen fantasy novel, summarized (and criticized) for your pleasure.



Plot: Emily Fletcher has just moved to Pennsylvania from Colorado with her newly divorced veterinarian mom Carolyn. Wow, how's that for a first sentence? All she does for the first few pages is pout and help out at her mom's "Pet Palace" *gag* and animal hospital. Then one night, a mysterious girl (mysterious because she wears all black and is Native American) brings in a cat that has hideous burns all over her body. Emily manages to calm it down, but can't help her mom take care of it. Um, WHY DO WE NEED TO KNOW THIS?? It doesn't apply to the plot AT ALL.
A few days later, while playing with her dogs in the Ravenswood Wildlife Preserve, she finds a seemingly "magical" stone that changes colors and is almost attacked by a mysterious creature, but is saved by an odd wolf (odd because she can change into a silvery mist at will). She goes there again the next day and runs into the strange girl (whose name is Adriane) and a TALKING FERRET NAMED OZZIE! Yeah, this book already sucks. Adriane has a "magical" stone, too, and is best friends with Stormbringer, the mistwolf that saved Emily's life. :P Soooo much information.
Adriane and Emily find out that Ozzie is actually an elf-turned-ferret and is trying to find three mages for some people called the Fairimentals; a healer, a warrior, and a blazing star are on his shopping list. Emily fits the description of a healer after she heals a glen full of sick "magical" creatures, and Adriane proves to be a warrior after she saves their new friend Phelonius the purple bear from hunters.
More one Phel: He is a fairy creature, not a purple bear (I know, confusing, right? I suck at explaining things), whose job is to spread magic in Pennsylvania, I guess. But Phel is losing magic fast, and the mayor has threatened to shut down Ravenswood!!! Something about danger and quarantine.... To change his mind, Emily and Adriane enlist the help of his daughter, Kara Davies. In exchange for her help, however, Kara makes them promise to tell her where she can find a jewel like theirs.
The trip to Ravenswood with Kara does not go as planned and when Phel tries to give Kara a fairy map, she freaks out and tells her dad that the place is dangerous. Animal Control takes Phel, which p***es of Emily and Adriane. They go on a rescue mission, along with Kara (who they guilted into coming), Ozzie, and Stormbringer (also called Storm).
Hang on, we're almost done.
Yay, they save Phel, but are attacked by a manticore!! He infects Phel with Black Fire, a hideous disease that has been affecting all the animals in Ravenswood, including the cat from the beginning of the story. All he wants is the fairy map, it turns out. But Emily, Adriane, and Kara have something to say about that. So they pwn hm, send Phel home, and open Ravenswood to the public for wildlife tours. It even attains landmark status!!! Yay!!! Magic rules!!!
Phew.

More notes:
Come on, the place is called Pet Palace. That's worse than Petco.

I keep picturing a naked cat and it's making me laugh rather than filling me with pity.

"'Kevin, stop it,' Emily shook her head. 'There are no such things as witches.'"
Actually, there are, if you count Wiccans.

Ooh, listen to this catty remark.
"I think she lives over at Clueless Farms. She must have forgotten her pitchfork."
Wth, that doesn't make any sense.

Ravenswood Wildlife Preserve
Open 11 A.M. to Duh
wth???

What kind of dog noise is Ruff-chooo?

If little stick people were talking to me, I'd be peeing my pants.

"She thought of E-mailing her dad. He was a scientist. He'd know what to do. But what would she say. 'Dear Dad, having a terrific time here. Today I met some monsters and a ghostwolf, and I discovered some new flower with rainbow seeds that light up like tiny fireworks.' Ha! Her dad would think she had moved to Transylvania, not Pennsylvania."
I thought Transylvania was known for vampire legends....

Lol, she has a Pooh night light.

"Oweeeiiioo!"
What kind of scream is that? That sounds like a line from that "Killer Tofu" song in that show "Doug". Aagh, I hated that show.

Hiking boots do not go with black attire. Unless they, of course, are black.

Why is wearing black and being socially inept considered strange? Wait....

Ugh this dialogue is SO ANNOYING!
Ozzie: Owwie, owwwie...ow - Aghhh!!!!
Emily: Hold still a minute. I haven't done anything yet.
Ozzie: Oh.
Emily: It's...it can't be - but I think it's talking!
Adriane: Score one for you.

Adriane is definitely my least favorite character, but Emily is getting on my nerves pretty fast.

Adriane also has jealousy issues.

And all she talks about is being a free spirit and running with the freaking wolves.

Carolyn: Didn't I tell you to stay out of those woods? It's not safe up there!
Ozzie: I agree!
Adriane: Shut up!
Carolyn: What?
Adriane: Uh, wassup? With his paw, I mean.
Nice cover.

Emily: Yucky charms? They're magically delicious.
Omg...I don't think I can do this.

Ozzie: I'm really an elf, you know.
Ah yes, and he wants to be a dentist.

Sure, good idea, lie to your mom about Ravenswood Preserve! I mean, it only needs to be quarantined!!

Adriane: The kids around here don't like me much.
Maybe cuz you're a b****?

OH NO, Adriane is half Indian!! I have nothing against Indians (Native Americans and actual Indians), but this series has such a stereotypical annoying portrayal of them!! Adriane's grandma, AKA Gran, is always saying crap about, "You are strong, Little Bird," and telling them myths and legends.

Hey, if you're talking about cookies, I want to know EXACTLY what kind of cookies you're talking about!

"Ah, Little Bird, you are so full of fire. Sometimes patience is the road to follow."
Now it's Chinese proverb time!!

"A tiny pebble, thrown into a quiet pond, makes one ripple, then another, then a whole wave of ripples that spread in every-growing circles."
I thought you were Indian.

"Adriane's room was an explosion of color. Bright yellow pain peeked out in the spaces between the patchwork of posters on the walls; the ceiling was dark blue with constellations of glwo-in-the-dark stars. Emily studied the posters. Rock bands, mountain climbers high above the lcouds, mountain bikers careening down dirt trails, snow boarders shooting sprays of white snow... She hardly knew Adriane, but she never would have pegged her for the type to have a room like this!"
Lol, I was picturing a room with black walls covered by Marilyn Manson posters!!

Her parents are artists and her grandma lives in a cottage and she has A FENDER STRAT??? Ugh, I remember her being all musical and crap. Book #5.

They mention dreamcatchers. That is so Stephen King-y.

Lame. Adriane walks alone like a Demon Hunter song and thinks friends are overrated. Retarded.

Navy blue and black don't go together, Adriane.

Sure, you can pass off a giant purple fairy as a rare panda.

ROFL! I love the quiffles!
Quiffle: Are you a mage?
Emily: Mage? No, I'm a girl. [That is so "Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe"-y.]
Quiffle: *pause* All right then.

Rachel Roberts totally rips off Hedwig.

Emily: What's your name?
Quiffle: Ronif. I'm a quiffle.
Emily: My name is Emily. These are my friends, Adriane, Ozzie, and Stormbringer.
Ronif: All right then.

I started saying "gah" a lot like Ozzie after reading this book.

Ozzie: Hey, now, I may be a ferret, but I can still dance! Look, the wigjig!
AAAAAAAAGH THE AGONY!!!

"What I wouldn't give for feet." *blink blink blink blink blink*

The Fairimentals have crappy handwriting.

Yeah, Adriane "hates" labels.
"Who wears pink sweaters and perfectly matched pink sneakers? She's such a Barbie!"
Hypocrite.

Omg, they describe Kara's outfits in detail!
The third girl, the one on the end, turned slowly. Clad in a pink tube top, khaki shorts, and pink sneakers, she worse her long blond hair looser under a studded baseball cap.

Carolyn is such a moody ho.

"What? Is there gum in my teeth?"
HOW DO YOU GET GUM IN YOUR TEETH????

I like how not stereotyped Kara is. "Daddy always listens to me."

Lol, I used to hate Kara, but she's my new favorite character. "Sure, I'm a power shopper!"
Adriane: *glare of death*
Kara: Like what's with her?

Yay, a book where children are actually disciplined by their parents for wrongdoing!

MORE OUTFITS!
The blond girl wore a silver silk jacket over a pink T-shirt that said ROCK STAR in fake silver gems. Light green shorts and strappy sandals completed the outfit.
And this is for a wlak in the woods?

Ugh, retarded. "Do you always wear black?" "Just until they invent a darker color!"

LOL! "You know, you should really try a little bran in your diet."

"Face it, Barbie. The magic doesn't like you."

"I am turning around right now and going to the mall, where normal people go!" Teehee.

Oh no, the magical cat is talking to her. "Taking and giving completes our circle. It's time to let go. Have faith, healer. The magic with you, now and forever." Isn't that a Jump5 song?

Oh dear, a big purple bear is terrorizing the town.

Kara calls Adriane Pocahontas? That's funny, but isn't that racist?

Kara: Well, I have some magic of my own.
Adriane: Oh?
Kara: Yeah. It's call a cell phone.
OMG, I love Kara.

They get a phone call in the middle of their rescue mission!
Kara: Oh hi, Heather! *to other girls* It's Heather. Ooo, really? I love pink. How does it look?
Adriane: This call is, like, so over!
Kara: That was, like, so rude!

Ozzie almost dies. Tartar sauce.

And Kara kisses Ozzie? Bestiality, anyone?
"You ever tell anyone I kissed a ferret, I'll have you stuffed!"

Phel starts flying. This sounds like something from "My Neighbor Totoro".

YES, OZZIE WENT BACK INTO THE PORTAL!!

The battle scene sounds like something from He-Man.

Storm almost died, too, but noooo.

Agh, Ozzie comes back.
Emily: Ozzie! *runningleaphug* What happened? We thought you went home.
Ozzie: And miss all this excitement? With all the trouble you get into, who do you think is going to look after you three?
Emily: But I thought you wanted to go home.
Ozzie: I did, and here I am.
GAG, GAGGING, GAGS!!!

Adriane: I love you! You're the best!
What is this, a Pony Pals book?
Storm: I'd rather be running with you through the forest.
MORE RETARDED RUNNING WITH WOLVES.

So Kara is sort of friends with them, and she saves their butts, and now their going to make a Ravenswood website. They don't actually have one, but you can go to this site, which tells you a little more about the characters. They have some RIDICULOUS illustrations, though, of the girls in hip-juttingly preppy poses. If you click on the dreamcatcher or the shiny jewels, you have to answer the big question: do you believe in magic? If yes, they'll take you to the "secret site", which is just as sad as the home site. Enjoy yourselves. I got a new Pony Pals, and have a bunch of other books, so I'll be posting quite regularly. Hopefully a new Madison Finn tomorrow.