Plot: When we last left our heroes, Arianna, Chase, Lincoln, and Lori had just landed in a magical land called Balinor. They had a near-run in with some demon unicorns, but they're safe now.
Everything is going all right...sort of. Lori is being a spoiled brat and is forcing Ari to let her ride Chase while she tries to find help. Ari manages to locate a village and asks for help from a man named Samlett, owner of the Unicorn Inn (what an original name). Taking Lori for a princess, he gives her shelter for the night. Taking Ari for Lori's maid, he forces her to clean out the stables.
Ari, however, likes work. Because she's the reincarnation of Snow White. She's absolutely peeing her pants with delight. She also meets a bunch of LOVELY people, such as Lady Kiley. Lady Kiley tries to capture her, however. Not so nice. She is saved by Atalanta - the Dreamspeaker herself!! Atalanta helps Ari remember that she's the princess of Balinor, her legs were all screwed up by the Shifter, who also cut off Chase AKA the Sunchaser's horn, and captured her family. Turns out he's trying to kill her cuz of some prophecy...but that's another story for another time.
Atalanta also tells Ari that she has to go on a quest to retrieve the ruby necklace from "Across the Gap" (what the call "the real world" in Balinor) because it is part of Chase's broken horn. Arianna has 3 of the 4 pieces, and she needs the ruby to fit them together. Atalanta goes on and on about the dangerous quest...and then Dr. Bohnes magically appears, toting the famed ruby. Oh. All right then.
So Atalanta, improvizing, sends Ari off to find the Jewelwright Minge so he can fix the horn for Chase.
After a lot of buttkissing from Samlett, who's ashamed to think that he once thought that Ari was a maid - ha - Ari, Bohnesy (who it turns out is Ari's old nurse), Lori, Chase, and Lincoln go on the quest, followed reluctantly by Tobiano. Remember him from Celestial Valley? They don't know he's a Celestial unicorn, though, because he's not as BEAUTIFUL as he should be.
Bla bla bla, questing. Shifter almost gets Ari, but they get to the Jewelright. They fix the horn. Toby gets stuck in quicksand. Ari saves him. Bla bla.
So I THINK they're back at the Inn when Ari and Chase decide since they know where the missing piece of horn is, they'll go off BY THEMSELVES and look for it.
It's not very exciting. They go to Shifter's castle/Ari's old house, find the piece, "narrowly miss death" (whatever. They got chased by a fat demon unicorn for 2 seconds.), and go back home. Sunchaser can speak again. And he's more annoying than ever. Ari isn't punished for trying to be a hero. Now they all have to search for Ari's scepter. Whoopee. To be continued....
More notes:
It's like every book has to open with a whole page describing Atalanta's beauty. I REALLY do not like her.
:P Another fat unicorn. Of course she's a nanny.
HOW DOES CHOCOLATE BROWN FIT INTO THE RAINBOW? AND WHY IS CHOCOLATE BROWN WITH OBSIDIAN OVERTONES THE MOST STUBBORN COLOR???? I THOUGHT THAT WAS WINE!!
ENOUGH ABOUT DEVI'S HIGH SWEET VOICE!
Since when does Tobiano have a Cockney accent? "Devi! Get out o' there, bud!"
Whaa? Toby is trying to save Devi's butt, and Devi's all, "Oh, that Toby, he's so rude, and he doesn't like foals!" That MUST be why he's trying to help you out.
AAAH, MORE COCKNEY! "Interferin' little one. Send him back to his ma, I say."
:O Devi messes with the Watching Pool and ATALANTA LETS HIM OFF WITH A WARNING!!! If it had been Toby, he probably would've been murdered. LAAAAME. This is probably supposed to show what a wise, sweet ruler she is. Bull.
"She holds the Deep Magic." Way to copy "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe".
Bam. Lori insults Ari's bad legs.
Yes, Ari. You've been abducted by aliens.
OMG!!! "And the men wore boots, tights, and loose shirts that look as if they were made out of rough cotton."
TIGHTS??? WHY NOT PANTS???
All fat people are cheerful. Right.
Ugh, now Ari's talking about "rude old Tobiano".
I think Mr. Samlett just called Ari ugly.
Hey, I can't post. Nothing wrong with that.
Okay, Ari's going around the stables and looking at the unicorns, and she can tell which ones are girls and which are boys, and then she gets a glimpse of Atalanta, and she's like, "I know that's a mare...but I don't know how!" Then what were you just doing??
AAAAAAGH a lame pun about a riverbank...you don't want to know.
Lori makes up a really good lie about where they're from, and Ari's like, "Whatever. I'm mad at her."
She calls Lori a "bra"?
Lori's sort of a brat, but at least she's human. Ari, I think, is an alien.
Ooh, outfits!
"The dark red skirt had pretty embriodery around the hem but was a little big around the middle, so she rolled up the waistband. [Whatever. You just wanted to show off those legs of yours.] The blouse was made of a soft, off-white cotton and had full sleeves and a scoop neck that tied with two strings. The leather vest fit snugly and it would be nice and warm as the evening cooled. She wound her hair up on top of her head and clipped it with her barrettes."
I'm picturing Annie Oakley.
Wth?????
Licoln: If they are bad, I will bite them and bite them!
Okaaay, way to not sound retarded.
Of course the female villainess has black hair.
??
Ari: *looks at the peaches* Oh, my. Several of these have brown spots.
Um...thanks?
Way to ruin Lori's lie.
Lexan: So, where are you from?
Ari: Well, sir, my friends and I. We're from north of the Gap.
Yay, a recycled overused chase scene.
Lincoln: Run, Ari! Run!
Ari: I won't leave you here!
Lincoln: You must! Go now! Go now! I cannot save us both.
Ari: I can't leave you!
Lincoln: THEY DON'T WANT ME! THEY WANT YOU! RUN!
Lady Kylie pwns Lincoln.
"My dearest dear" is quite an odd term of...um, endearment.
Let it be known that Ari calls her two brothers Tace and Bren. THESE NAMES CHANGE MULTIPLE TIMES THROUGHOUT THE SERIES. I think one time it was Ben and Tally.
Oh, it turns out Kylie was her mommy's BFF...but now she's working for the Shifter. Oh, burn.
And now she takes some dialogue out of Star Wars.
Ari: There already has been a terrible cost. My dog is hurt, maybe dead! My family the same! I hate the Shifter! I hate him!
Atalanta: You must put aside your hate, Arianna. Hate will not save you or your people.
Ari: Hate makes me strong.
Atalanta: Hate blinds you. Hate is a tool of the Shifter.
And now we will listen to a lecture on evolution.
Atalanta talks about Ari's quest for like 20 minutes...then it turns out she doesn't need to go on one. :P Lame.
I thought Lincoln had black and gold fur. Now he's described with cream and bronze fur.
Ari: Please get off your knees, Mr. Samlett. It feels really weird to have you down there.
:O QUESTIONABLE CONTENT!
Lori: So I supposed I'll come along.
Ari: You? Are you sure you want to?
Lori: Why not? Do you expect me to stay here? Without money? That Samlett character said he'd give me a room, all right. As long as I mucked out the stalls and scrubbed the kitchen floor. Forget that.
Ari: But, Lori. I might be dangerous.
Lori: Old Bohnes is a wizard, isn't she? And who's going to mess with a Princess? That is, if you are a Princess, which I don't believe for one second flat. Besides...I'm scared to stay here by mself. I saw those creeps go after you last night. If those jerks come looking for a thirteen-year-old girl and find one, they aren't going to believe me when I tell them it isn't me. And frankly, Ari, who looks more like a Princess? You or me? I don't want to risk staying here alone, thank you very much.
How can you not love her?
I'm really confused about how to pronounce Dr. Bohnes first name: it's spelled Eliane, so it's not Elaine, so what??
Yay, Mary Stanton ripped off the Nazgul.
The peasants are restless. They will revolt. Like a heavy metal song.
Toby has no sense of direction.
Toby: Your directions were awful. Past the cove of pine trees, you said. Then north by northeast, you said.
Bohnes: I was right. It's you who can't tell north from south, Toby.
Toby: Hey! You face north, right? If you face north, south is in back of you. East is to the left of you.
Bohnes: East is to the right of you. I told you before.
Toby: LEFT! LEFT! LEFT!
Now she's ripping off the evil crabine or whatever from LOTR.
Ugh, Sunchaser.
I. DO. NOT. RUN. FROM. BATTLE!
Quicksand? In the middle of the woods? In BALINOR???
Toby almost dies. And they still hate him.
PULL FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!
And Toby blames them for his neardeath experience: You-told-me-to-take-a-left!!!
Numinor is annoying. I don't know who's worse, him or Sunchaser.
Blah. The "quest" is so boring.
Chase is problem horse. No wonder Lori had trouble with him. Oh, I forgot, he's a UNICORN, and LORD OF ALL ANIMALS, so he GETS to act like that.
Dang, abusive relationship much. As soon as Chase learns to talk again, he's all, "ARIANNA! COME TO ME!"
Wth? If Lori had run off to find the missing piece of Chase's horn, Bohnesy would've killed her. But it's Princess Arianna, and it's her DESTINY, so I guess that's all right.
Lol. Lori finds out the next quest is to find the missing scepter and is all, "Ari is my BFF."
Ugh, did not enjoy that. Thankfully, tomorrow we'll be back onto horses. No more unicorns for the time being. At least not until Friday.
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