As you can see on the cover, this is the first glimpse we've seen of Stormbringer, the elusive mistwolf, and that little hottie (psh) in the back there is Zach. It looks like Adriane has a lip ring...psyche, that's an indentation on my book.
Plot: Adriane and Stormbringer are bestest friends and they tell each other everything. Storm admits to Adriane that she's lonely and wishes she weren't the last mistwolf alive.
Well, it turns out she's not. A bunch of mistwolves pop through a portal into Ravenswood and whisk Stormbringer away. Storm doesn't want to leave Adriane, but come on. She tells her "pack mate" that she will always be able to find her.
So Adriane is heartbroken and convinces her friends to reopen the portal so she can contact Storm...and gets pulled inside and dumped in the Shadowlands! Sucks for you. In the Shadowlands, she meets a deranged ape thing named Scorge who is looking for his magic rock. No comment. He runs away and Adriane finds the rock, which can move on its own and seems to understand everything she says. They become BFFs and Adriane dubs him Rocky.
Then imps attack them, obviously after Rocky! A boy named Zach appears on a griffin named *snicker* Wind Dancer and saves their butts.
Bla bla bla. Zach feeds Adriane and they talk. Adriane finds out that Zach's parents were mages and they were killed and a bunch of FASCINATING stuff.
A bunch of scary, magical creatures keep attacking them. They must REALLY want that rock. Adriane saves them all this time, but Windy is greviously wounded. They fly through another portal into the Fairy Glen and Windy dies.
But that's okay, because there are Fairimentals in this new portalicious place, and boy, do they like to talk! Turns out "Rocky" is a dragon egg. Hmm, sounds vaguely "Eragon"-ish. They also reveal Adriane's real quest (she'd been very vague on details with Zach) and he flips out, because he was raised by mistwolves.
Whaaaa? Adriane drags the story out of him: Zach was raised by mistwolves, but in order to prove himself to one wolf brother, he tried to kill the creature that destroyed his parents, and in the process led several mistwolves into a trap. Adriane's all, "Awww, that sucks, but you have to be strong," and a bunch of moving stuff. Sort of awkward/boring. She also finds out that Zach has never had a birthday party; this is important (sort of). Then Adriane leaves to go on her quest. By herself. All on her owney.
And she gets attacked by magical creatures. AGAIN. But Zach and Rocky save her, Rocky hatches into a baby dragon and imprints on Adriane, so Adriane renames him "Drake". Phew. That's a lot of information.
Not done yet. Adriane somehow gets captured in order to save Zach and Drake, and is taken to the dark sorceress that we met in book #2. She throws Adriane into the dungeon. Figures. There Adriane meets a bunch of fellow prisoners who are suffering from the Black Fire (don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but it's a magical disease that Lyra had, and a million of the animals in Ravenswood had, and it's pretty serious, but apparently really easy to cure because Emily does it ALL THE TIME, but anyway....). One of them is Silver Eyes, a mistwolf Zach had thought he'd killed. Guess you were wrong!
The d-flies come back and open a portal, allowing Emily to heal all the animals. Neither she nor Kara go THROUGH the portal to try to HELP Adriane, they just sit behind their computer and heal through the internet with magic. LAAAME. So Adriane, now strong, leads the animals on a revolt. They get out of the castle. Yay!
But it turns out it was a trap. The manticore from book #1 has a trillion soldiers behind him and he's mostly likely going to kill them all, but Zach and the mistwolves save them all. Yaaaaaay???
Then Adriane throws a birthday party for Zach. It's touching. Then she goes home. I REALLY suck at summarizing.
More notes:
Adriane and Storm are running through the woods together. What is this, Pocahantas?
Ugh, way to reference "George of the Jungle". "Adriane! Watch out for that....tree."
Now they're rolling down a hill together? Like Anakin and Padme?
Dang. Turns out Adriane's parents abandoned her at Ravenswood so they could travel the world. That sucks.
Adriane believes she's a wolf. Why isn't she being locked up?
Ooh, never mess with a mistwolf named MOONSHADOW. Rawr.
Turns out there are billions of mistwolves. Storm just missed them.
Lame. Storm's all, "Oh, thanks for the fun times, I'm going to leave forever now!"
Okay, that Marcus guy is kind of an idiot. "It's beauty and the beast!"
Oh. Dragons must be real because Ozzie's cousin's friend's friend's brother-in-law's neighbor's cousin's schoolmate's grandma saw one!
"Dragons are very rare and powerful magicla creatures. They have long been extinct on Aldenmor." FORESHADOWING!!
Okay, here are the dragonflies and their colors.
Barney = purple
Fiona = red
Goldie = yellow
Fred = blue
Blaze = orange
"Instead of playing our regular 'Throw the Shoe at the Dragonflies' game that you all love so much, I have a special new game for us to play. It's called the 'Open the Portal' game! Yay!" Heh.
Emily grabs Adriane to prevent her from being sucked in and Ozzie is just hopping up and down. Thanks for the help, Ozzie.
Oh no. Scorge talks like Jar Jar Binks.
"You're not from around here..."
"No, I'm from...over the rainbow."
Right.
Adriane, you do realize you're talking to a rock.
"Is that what you are, Rocky? A pet rock? Yes, you are! Who's the good widdle pet rock? You! That's who!"
Then again, I'm talking to a fictional character....
"Let's rock and roll!"
No comment.
Ha. Rocky goes bowling.
Ew, Zach starts poking Adriane and pulling her hair. You're not 2.
I think this is supposed to show us how witty and edgy Adriane is.
Zach: Where are you from?
Adriane: Over the rainbow.
Zach: How old are you?
Adriane: One hundred and fifty.
WHAT KIND OF NAME IS WIND DANCER?? That reminds me of that Sky Dancer show I loved so much.
Okay, that's sad, because Christopher Paolini BASICALLY copied this book with the whole, "It's not a stone, it's an egg," deal.
Okay, Zach needs to get out more.
Adriane: What do we do? Sit on it?
Zach: *laughing uncontrollably* No, I don't think it's a chicken.
"A human had killed his pack mother. But the only other human here was Zach."
Then it must have been Zach.
Zach destroys the map to the Fairy Glen. Psycho.
Zach suddenly has a sword?? Question mark?
Oh, it's an Elven Spirit Sword. I wonder, did ELROND make it for you? Or was it passed down from father to son from the great warrior Isildur?
Okay, I started laughing when Windy died. I felt bad, but Adriane was all, "BUT THESE FLOWERS HAVE HEALING MAGIC! THEY CAN HELP HIM!" Then she falls to her knees and is all, "[Vader]NOOOOOOO![/Vader]"
I REALLY doubt that the Fairimentals are wearing any clothes. "Heart of Avalon" has a naked water Fairimental on the cover.
Adriane: My friend...that I'm looking for, is not exactly human.
Zach: What is she?
Adriane: A mistwolf.
Zach: *flips out* A MISTWOLF!?? *runs away*
Um, what was up with that?
Uh, creepy, they commune with trees.
They're looking at a picture of Zach and his parents.
Zach: That's me.
Adriane: The baby I take it.
....
No, Adriane, your parents have never been killed by a manticore, don't try to relate.
"You're everything I've always dreamed of being. Strong, confident, independent. And you understand what's going on around here. How are we supposed to figure this all out without your help?"
Wow. Flattery works, too.
"How can I help? You need a knight, a hero, like Zach."
What gives you the impression that he's a hero? I was under the impression that he's an angry, pubescent teenage boy.
"'Human,' Moonshadow said to her. With a start, Adriane realized the pack leader was talking to her."
Well, yes, seeing as you're the only human in sight.
"And I like your name, Drake. It's so smooth, like a rock star. Rock star, get it?"
ENOUGH WITH THE ROCK PUNS!!
Okay, they're attacked by things that look like Rocksteady and Bebop from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Zach rescues her. Again. How convenient.
THOSE ARE SO NOT ORCS!! LIES!!
Oh, you shouldn't assume that dragons are horrible monsters. That's discrimination. OBVIOUSLY you've never been to diversity training, Zack.
"Zach's butt was suddenly crisped with soot." Mmm, delicious.
Some more Jedi fight scenes. Aww, Adriane, you're so selfless!
She just randomly faints. Nice.
The dark sorceress looks like the falcons from "Snakecharm" and "Falcondance".
Okay, the dark sorceress isn't really evil, if all she does is capture teenage girls and tell them wolves are stupid.
"Oh, how is your friend kara? I'm looking forward to meeting her again." FORESHADOWING!!
Adriane has the Black Fire now. She is going to die. Wait! What's that sound?
POP! POP! POP! POP! POP!
Yay, the dragonflies are back!
Aw, Silver Eyes doesn't blame Zach.
Gee, how will we get out of the castle? Don't worry, Lyra knows how! AARGH! Why can't they figure stuff out for themselves? Heh, coming from someone who is practically failing math....
Oh dear, the manticore is back.
Violence and blood.
Aaaaand now you're outnumbered.
Okay, lame.
Adriane: Save yourself!
Storm: I would not be able to go on without you.
Adriane: Really?
Storm: Yes.
Adriane: I love you, Storm.
Storm: I love you, Adriane.
A magic net is about to fall on them...but at the last moment, all the mistwolves turn to mist, rendering them invisible! Wait, invisible things can still be caught by nets.... Doesn't make any sense.
Manticore: I will kill you as easily as I killed your parents, boy!
Moonshadow: Then you will have to kill me as well!
Awww, Moonshadow comes through for Zach. Wth, manticore, why would you ADMIT that? They'll be taking you to Fairy Alcatraz.
Oooh, Adriane looks so fashionable in a purple leaf.
Zach is kind of creepy. "What, he likes his tummy rubbed!"
Awww, a hamster-size dog.
Zach gets a magic jewel! It's a dragon stone! Now he's bonded to Drake! Yay!
Ha. Kara hits on Zach.
YES! I did it in LESS THAN AN HOUR! w00t!!! Okay, now I have to go to church. Seeyas!
2 comments:
Omg that so frecking hilarious! I'm still crying! Nice review! XP
windy dies, how is that ok! portalishous yeah real specific, & u complain about bad writeing!i love avalon punk yeah thats right & i am in 7th grade & im not alone, ill show you what cheap childrens litteracher can do 2 my confedence & fighting skills!ohh its realy sad your alone after school, NOT! i finde it verry funny muahahaha i the so called punk horrible blazing unpopular warrior by you has freinds yes im so horrible i hate my life, again NOT! yeah & lets see what inspireing can do 2 your face! theres only 1 emily & allot of black fire.you are sick & crule.you watch star wars ohhh lol!!!!!well she watches out 4 that tree u better watchout 4 me whos the beauty? you watched sky dancer, oh this just gets better & better lol! omg you watch teenage mutan ninga turtles (rolls over laghing)! you ate ZACK well your in for it! adriane fans its an all you can beat buffet. invisible & mist or watervapor, steam, thin rain, it should make sense if your not failing science.yes she doese cause its purple & not neon pnik. kara gets her own guy so shut up! its not an hour when your comeing up with come backs every 5 sec its an hor & 15 min. grrrrrrrrrr !why isnt she being locked up, well i would ask the same question about u PS: dont tell me were u live, block me if you want but you deserve this for insulting adrian 7 avalon 7 im just standing up 4 avalon & adriane fans & weres the insults on the poney pals hah!?
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