Glad that's over, or Avalon: Web of Magic: Full Circle

Only, it turns out, IT'S NOT REALLY OVER.
According to Wikipedia: "A new trilogy entitled Avalon: Shadow Warrior was announced for release in 2011."
They wrapped the series up pretty well in this one.
How can they go on from here?
Anyways, this book.
There were some really big plot holes/contradictions/something that bugged me.

#1. Emily becomes the Dark Mage because, according to the Dark Sorceress, she killed Ozzie, her bonded.
Um, FALSE.
In "Ghost Wolf", they clearly stated that Emily and Ozzie were NOT bonded, because Ozzie was a mage, not a ferret, and one mage can't bond with another mage.
In fact, in "Heart of Avalon", they said that Emily would never bond with a single magical animal, because her heart was open to all magical animals.
THEREFORE, killing Ozzie wouldn't have turned her into the Dark Mage ANYWAY.
Their reasoning is that, because Ozzie didn't really die, Emily never turned into the Dark Mage.

#2: Oh yeah, she didn't really kill Ozzie. She might have TAKEN ALL OF HIS MAGIC, but that action only broke his transformation spell and turned him BACK INTO AN ELF.
WHAT?
And when the Dark Sorceress took Henry Gardener's magic, HE DIDN'T DIE.
Wait a minute...
In EVERY OTHER BOOK IN THE SERIES, if someone's magic is taken, they die.
Storm died when she used all her magic to save the mistwolves. (Bla bla bla, I know she's not really dead, and yet TECHNICALLY she is, because she runs with the Spirit Pack and cannot be PHYSICALLY PRESENT on Earth, therefore she is DEAD.)
Emily unwittingly took the magic of several animals, and THEY ALL DIED.
Kara stole Skultum's magic and he CEASED TO EXIST.
Therefore, logic tells us that Ozzie and Henry Gardener were most DEFINITELY DEAD.
Ugh, ridiculous.

#3: Speaking of Skultum, wasn't there a rule that if a fairy gives you his or her name, you take all his magic?
ALL OF IT?
How come this applied to random fairy creatures in book #6 and Skultum, but not to the Fairy King and Queen, Be*Tween, Lorren, Logan, or any other creature they meet for the rest of the series?

#4: Kara's grandmother, Lucinda, was the Fairy Queen and the Dark Sorceress' sister.
According to this book, LUCINDA DIED AN UNTIMELY DEATH.
But, also according to this book, she RAN WITH THE SPIRIT PACK or something, so she WASN'T REALLY DEAD.
Well, YEAH. I hope not!
And there was this whole thing where she and Henry Gardener were engaged to be married, and they finally reunite, and come back to fight the Dark Sorceress as younger versions of themselves.
That's all well and good, except...
Lucinda is Kara's GRANDMA.
That means she has a DAUGHTER (or a son).
Did she and Henry get a little carried away before the wedding?
Did Lucinda have a baby, not knowing she was even PREGNANT?
Did she not even TELL Henry he had a kid?
Did that kid (one of Kara's parents) grow up an orphan?
Were they adopted by another (non-fairy) family?
I know fairy blood skips generations, so even that I can handle.
But seriously.
HOW COULD LUCINDA DIE EARLY AND BE KARA'S GRANDMOTHER?
Makes no sense.

#5: This isn't really a "plot hole", just something that REALLY BOTHERED ME.
The ending is pretty happy. All the girls' boyfriends show up at the school dance, Ravenswood is the home of magic, good times.
Buuuuut here's the thing.
Ozzie remains a ferret.
What?
After all that time wishing he was still an elf, and being with Esmerelda again, and finally feeling NORMAL?
He gets turned back into a ferret...and stays that way.
How is he ANY MORE HELPFUL as a ferret than as an elf?
Even if he decided to stay and help the mages...couldn't he do it is a four foot tall humanoid?
Why a talking, golden weasel?
The Fairimentals decide to reward him by TURNING ESMERELDA INTO A FERRET AND TRANSPORTING HER TO RAVENSWOOD.
Oh, but she'll only be a ferret for ONE NIGHT, so he better enjoy it while he can.
Wait a minute...you want me to think this is a happy ending?
Ozzie's still a ferret, and his girlfriend has come down to visit him for one night only, then what?
They'll never see each other again?
Why can't they both be elves again?
Better yet, why can't they be elves again...AND LIVE IN RAVENSWOOD TOGETHER?
SERIOUSLY!
Ozzie never wanted to be a moisture farmer or a shoemaker or whatever career elves usually have.
So he and Esmerelda could've started a new life together!!
And, I guess, now that the portals are open again, they could visit.
But WHY KEEP HIM AS A FERRET AT ALL?


Now that I've got that out of the way, here's what happens:
Emily is evil! So evil! She's got an army of evil unicorns! She is...THE DARK MAGE.
Only Phel comes back and heals her in the first 30 pages.
Oh. Well, there goes your conflict.
Told you Phel would be back.
Emily mourns the death of Ozzie and refuses to use magic EVER. AGAIN.
The Fairimentals then chastise the mages for failing the quest, even though they've been doing a whole lot of nothing this whole time.
Kara then decides the quest is NOT over, because the mages did unexpected things, proving that prophecies are all a crock, and we make our own destiny.
Then a group of elves run over and it turns out Ozzie is still alive.
And he has a girlfriend.
SO. CALLED IT.
He gives Emily one of his famous motivational speeches, and she promises to use magic for him.
The mages pay a visit to their friend Logan, trashing up his club and demanding payment for the death of their dragon friend (it's all a hoax, don't worry).
Logan admits to working with the Dark Sorceress, and Emily heals one of his EVIL SHADOW CREATURES.
Because, you remember (I think I mentioned this), shadow creatures are really bonded animals that were betrayed by their mages.
Maybe I didn't mention that.
Now you know.
That changes the game up a little bit.
They save Henry Gardener, and reunite him with his beloved Lucinda.
Remember that magical white unicorn that saved Kara on several occasions?
He's Lucinda's paladin! It's a small world after all!
The mages try to enter Avalon with a homemade key of pure magic, which Emily weaves.
They use the magic of tons of animals (without killing them), and Drake almost sacrifices himself for the good of the key.
But wait! The formerly evil kobolds and the elusive Dragon Home lend their magic! No need for more death!
Once inside the gates, each mage is caught under a different spell. Adriane turns into a mistwolf, solely focused on avenging her dead packmates.
Kara is transported to an alternate future where her selfish actions cause Ravenswood to be closed forever.
Emily gets a glimpse of a future where mages betray their bondeds all the time. She tries to break the spell, but is unable to do so.
OZZIE TO THE RESCUE.
Ozzie's ferret stone breaks the spell, and gives her enough magic to save her friends.
Yay! Ozzie's doing something useful, for once!
However, Avalon is no longer the home of pure magic.
Something happened in a place called the Well of Tears that caused the city to turn evil.
The prophecy the girls had heard was not an instruction manual on how to find Avalon; instead, it was a warning for those who might try.
Ooooops.
Now the Dark Sorceress is sending shadow creatures through the Well of Tears to destroy every magical creature on the web.
I guess that makes sense...
What are her reasons again?
The mages make the ultimate sacrifice: they give up all of their magic to close the portals FOREVER and seal the shadow creatures into the Well of Tears.
They give up their jewels, say farewell to their bondeds, and go home.
A few weeks later, at the BIG SCHOOL DANCE, the girls are having a good time, but something is missing.
Ravenswood has been declared landmark status, but it's just not the same without their magical friends.
Surprise! The web has shifted, and the new center is Ravenswood.
Ravenswood is now the home of magic.
And it's all thanks to Ozzie.
You see, Ozzie was the only one in the ENTIRE SERIES who was never corrupted by dark magic.
So when the girls gave up their magic jewels/gems/stones, he gave up his, and HIS magic was what kept the girls' magic from going dark.
Wow. Thanks, Ozzie.
Oh, and Phelonius the purple bear is Ozzie's paladin.
NO WONDER.
And all the shadow creatures have been healed.
In closing, the mages get their jewels back, reunite with their bondeds, spend a rocking night with their respective partners, and all is well again.
I'm sort of pumped for the next series.
Plus, there's some really adorable art at the end of the book. I hope I can find it. So. Cute.
Rats. Well, when I do find it, I will post it.

Get ready for betrayal! Part #3

Oh. My. Goodness.
I'd like to say I totally called it.
But WOW.

Plot: Dark Sorceress is torturing Henry Gardener, and seems convinced that Kara will be the DARK MAGE.
Except Kara WON'T, because that would be WAY too obvious.
Because it's going to be Emily.

Kara finds out that the crystal she discovered is a WISHING crystal. Whatever she WISHES comes true. She wishes for another power crystal, but of course that doesn't work. The jeweler tells her to talk to a somewhat sketchy club owner named Logan if she wants a power crystal. Logan deals in the ARCANE ARTS, which are basically a nice name for the dark arts. He and Kara get a crystal container all primed and ready. PERFECT! Now all Kara needs is the magic of a magical creature!
...
In order to get a creature's magic, you need to kill it.
OR you just need to know its name.
Wow, hello, plothole.
But KARA overlooks this little tidbit and kidnaps Drake in order to use HIS magic.

SPEAKING OF DRAKE, Adriane, Dreamer, and Drake accompany their new friend Gwyx to the lair of the SHADOW DRAGON. The SHADOW DRAGON has tainted the power crystal. There's an epic battle, in which Gwyx does absolutely nothing. All of sudden, the shadow dragon vanishes! Adriane is somehow possessed by the power crystal, which traps her in mist form.
...okaaaaaay.
She and Dreamer take an emergency trip to the Spirit Trail, while Drake joins Gwyx as he traverses to the Dragon Home, where HUNDREDS OF OTHER DRAGONS LIVE. Adriane is afraid she'll lose Drake to all these lovely dragons, but WHAT CAN YOU DO?

You know the purple light/splotch/aura that I thought was Phel? Well, it's not Phel. It's Indi, Emily's paladin! Indi rescues Emily and they end up at the Spider Witch's lair. Turns out I was wrong, the unicorns are very much alive, but their magic has been turned eeeeeeevil.
And it's all Emily's fault.
You see, when Emily rewove the magic web in "Heart of Avalon" (and again, in my last post), her magic called to all these magical animals, who willingly answered and were CAUGHT IN THE SPIDER WITCH'S TRAP.
Smooth move, Exlax.
So Emily does the smart thing.
SHE REWEAVES THE WEB SO THE GATES OF AVALON ARE CONNECTED TO IT.
THEN SHE TAKES THE EVIL UNICORNS THERE.
HOW IS THIS A GOOD PLAN? Dark mage.

Conveniently, everyone else has located the remaining power crystals and they bring them all to the gates of Avalon.
Kara still needs an animal's magic, so she KILLS DRAKE.
Adriane FLIPS OUT, and she and Kara have the MOTHER of all CATFIGHTS.
Meanwhile, Emily is trying to weave some more magic into the Spider Witch's web. ENOUGH WITH THE WEAVING, ALREADY.
Ozzie, noticing something is wrong with his friend, promises to help her and never, ever leave her.
So Emily kills him.
I KNOW.
Kara and Adriane finally stop fighting and notice what's going on.
The Dark Sorceress arrives just in time to see the gates of Avalon open. She pops on in, but offers Kara the chance to join her.
You know, seeing as Kara is now the dark mage.
But, in a SHOCKING TWIST, Kara ISN'T the dark mage.
It turns out Drake isn't dead after all. He'd been possessed by that tricksy shadow dragon, and Kara killed him in order to use his power for the crystal.
So who's the dark mage?
EMILY.
Laughing maniacally, the Dark Sorceress enters Avalon and locks the mages out.

More notes:
"BlarPH!" Goldie blarphed.

Kara starts wishing like a maniac. "I wish it would rain popcorn! I wish for an iPod and a new stereo, a wide screen laptop, a Wii-"
Rain popcorn...? WHY?

Jeweler: Logan. He's the most nefarious, notorious, nebuluous purveyor of the dark arts.
Really? SOUNDS LEGIT. LET'S GO.

Oh, and he hangs out at a club called the Black Rose.
Kara, haven't you LEARNED ANYTHING?

Ugh. "Who let the cat out? Who? Who? Who? Who?"

"She could make out a pair of pale hands illuminated by flickering lights. Black polish gleamed on the nails of long white fingers. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she noticed several ornate rings that caught the light. Some kind of tribal tattoo snaked from the back of his wrist under a silky white shirt and black velvet jacket."
Okay, sounds kind of hot...
"This was no old, wizened crony. THe flickering lights illuminated a teenage face, only a few years older than she was. His longish blonde hair was streaked with three shades of pale highlights-"
Never mind. Not into blondes.

Ooooh, and then he asks to buy Goldie the d-fly. Classy fellow.

There's this crackling sexual tension between him and Kara. WHAT. ABOUT. LORREN.

As far as paladins go, I wasn't a huge fan of Stormbringer, but she and Adriane had a shared past, so their bond is fairly believable.
Starfire and Kara had that nifty quest, and I was sad when he died.
But Indi? He has NO personality. He basically just does whatever Emily wants. Not a fan.

The Spider Witch turns Indi evil, too. Oops.

Logan deals in shadow creatures! He sometimes sells them to clients. WHY AREN'T YOU RUNNING? Is LYRA the only one with common sense?

Lorren and Kara have a BIG FIGHT.
Lorren's jealous of Logan, and he's afraid that Kara doesn't love him anymore because he CAN'T. USE. MAGIC.
Oh, the angst.

All the power crystals they found are evil.
Soooo maybe you shouldn't use them?

Dark Sorceress kills Henry Gardener.

Emily: Don't leave me, I'm so scared.
Ozzie: I'll never leave you. You take care of me. I take care of you.
SO SHE RIPS AWAY HIS MAGIC AND KILLS HIM.

Remember the Prophecy of Three?
One will follow her heart
(Adriane...because she found her home at Ravenswood. Okay, I guess...)
One will change utterly and completely
(Kara...enough said.)
One will see in darkness
"Emily had seen in darkness. She had seen dark magic. And now she had become the dark mage."

Wow. Pretty intense. I feel bad about making light of Ozzie's death.
But I didn't cry.
Plus, the next book...
It's kind of ridiculous.
Dried any potential tears up right away.
But you'll find out soon enough.

Get ready for betrayal! Part #2

Dark Mage is totally either Ozzie or Emiy.
We MIGHT be gearing up for the death of the ferret! Stay tuned!

Plot: The unicorns are missing, and Lyra smells trouble. Kara, oblivious as always, finds a power crystal shaped like a unicorn jewel. Not only is it UBER-SHINY, but it grants Kara unlimited wishes! She wishes to go to the most wonderful place ever, and she, Goldie, and Lyra are swept away to...
...a magical mall.
Yeah.
It's shiny and fabulous and filled with fairies who long to pamper Kara. Lyra is suspicious and tries to snap Kara out of it, but Kara is under the spell of beautification and power shopping.
She heads off to a jewelry store, the most dangerous place of all!

Meanwhile, Emily is contacted by a kobold, or the evil/dark/scary creature that appeared in the library. They think she's the Spider Witch and ask her to help them fix their home. Emily, Ozzie, and Lorren travel via Portal to a beautiful paradise, filled with fruit trees and sunshine.
The kobolds fear it.
They beg Emily to fix their habitat. Emily uses her new LEVEL TWO MAGE powers to purify the magic and return their habitat to its normal, dank state. In doing so, she REWEAVES THE MAGIC WEB, pushing her magic to the limits.
Stupid, stupid Emily.
It appears she's connected THE OTHERWORLDS (where the Kobolds live) to the rest of the map...and now she and her friends are being attacked by SHADOW CATS.
We last see Emily fall into a ravine, where she is saved by a purple thing before passing out.

Adriane's story is so unbelievably boring. She only gets one chapter for every two of Kara's. The dragon that discovered Adriane is a good guy who is trying to kill the feared SHADOW DRAGON. The shadow dragon has the power crystal, so baby Drake convinces warrior dragon to team up with them so they can fight the shadow dragon and get the crystal. And...that's about it.

More notes:
Let's see...the unicorns are missing...and Kara finds a unicorn jewel/power crystal filled to the brim with powerful unicorn magic.
All the unicorns are DEAD. Bet you a million bucks.

Ozzie starts talking about his elfy past. Turns out he has some unresolved anger towards the Fairimentals for turning him into a ferret/mage. PLOT POINT.

Ozzie: Yeah, a regular wizard of Ozzie. I'm just a helper-mage who can talk loud and break wind. That comes in really handy when you're trying to save the entire web.
Bitter much?

Ozzie has a girlfriend!!! No wonder he misses home.

Lorren: You're a Knight of the Circle.
Ozzie: An honorarium from some dumb old club. I might as well be Count Chocula.

These illustrations are so disturbing. There's a picture of dancing lizardfrogturtlefairies. WITH TOP HATS.

Kara, seriously? This is such a trap.

TODAY ONLY, BLAZING STARTS TAKE 99% OFF.
It's a dream come true.

Seriously, I read about 30 or 40 more pages, and Adriane only gets 5 of those.

Emily badmouths Kara for an entire paragraph, talking about how Kara is too bold and too powerful for her own good, and she always gets into trouble.
Then she goes and reweaves the Otherworlds into the magic web...just like the Spider Witch wants. WAY. TO. GO.

Ozzie's going to betray them. Unless it's a copout, and Henry Gardener betrays them, which DOESN'T EVEN COUNT.

Bahaha. "Sleek bodies with yellow eyes moved like ghosts through the mist. 'SHADOW CATS!'"

"She tried to heal her eyes against the purple blur that leaped from the swirling brightness."
Purple blur...? PHEL! PHEL'S BACK.

From everything I've heard, this book is really sad.
Meaning someone dies.
It'll either be Phel, Ozzie, or ALL THE UNICORNS. Get ready.

Get ready for betrayal! Part #1, or Avalon: Web of Magic: Dark Mage

Pray tell, HOW IS THIS COVER LESS TRIPPY THAN THE OLD ONES? PLUS, this book has illustrations! And it's told from all 3 points of view, rather than following the Emily-Kara-Adriane pattern.
It's like a whole different series!
I haven't finished it yet, so I'm going to do this book in three parts. Or more.

Plot: Our goblin friend Tasha has located ALL OF THE REMAINING POWER CRYSTALS. Well, that's...convenient. And Emily was attacked by an evil magical creature who claims Emily is the dark witch who called him forth. Whaaaat? In the mean time, Adriane is still angry at Kara for taking control of Zach's magic (see book #4...or #10. Whatevs.), so they've been fighting a lot more recently.
BIG PLOT TWIST: The Dark Sorceress, the Spider Witch, and the Kara's Fairy Grandmother used to be a warrior, healer, and blazing star trio back in the day. But, when the Dark Sorceress killed her bonded animal for magic, she became the DARK MAGE (hence the title). Apparently there's some sort of prophecy that states that in a trio of mages, one mage will always betray the others and become the DARK MAGE. She seems to think it will be Kara, the blazing star. Even though she was the warrior when she betrayed her friends. She even makes a joke about how it's always the blazing star...?
Bet you it will be Emily.
The three mages split up and head to three separate locations to find the power crystals.
Kara heads to Dalriada to reunite with their sparkly unicorn friends.
Emily goes to the Fairy Realms, where Kara's boyfriend Lorren is. The big question: WILL LORREN CHEAT ON KARA?
Adriane goes to THE UNCHARTED LANDS or something like that, because where else would Adriane go?
So far, all the unicorns seem to be missing!
The Fairy Realms are reluctant to believe Avalon exists, but a creepy old mole comes and tells Emily that the magic in Avalon is EVIL. D:
Then Adriane is attacked by some lizards, but they run away when she comes face to face with a...DRAGON.
What will happen to our heroes?

More notes:
Everyone's all of a sudden really upset that Kara destroyed one of the power crystals. Hello? She destroyed it 3 BOOKS AGO, and NO ONE CARED THEN. It's only recently that everyone's been, "OH NO, WE ONLY HAVE 8 CRYSTALS." Well, duh. Talk about delayed reaction.

The monster/evil creature attacks Emily in the school library...IN THE PRESENCE OF RAE WINDOR.

Emily does the smart thing: she BRAINWASHES Rae with MAGIC. "You never saw anything." She's so the dark mage.

Adriane has a Pocahontas moment with the Ravenswood animals, where she teaches them how to use their magic...to improve...the...park... I feel like this could've (should've) been done a lot sooner.
"I hear wind." "Be the wind." "I hear birds singing!" "Be the birds."
And she twirls when she says this. Adriane. Twirling. WHAT IS HAPPENING?

Adriane: A random portal in school! A creature in the library! What's next, dragonflies in French class?
Kara: Actually, that already happened.

Ozzie gets an e-mail:
Dear Ozzie, you are the best part of Ravenswood. We want you to star in our brand new TV show. Please e-mail back right away at-
Then Tweek deletes it. Nice.

Oh no! It won't be long before the Spider Witch reweaves THE ENTIRE MAGIC WEB.

THROWDOWN.
Kara: Hello, we've been through this already. I helped Zach use his magic and we saved the dragon eggs. Three words: Get over it.
Adriane; Why don't you just admit it was wrong?
Kara: What was I supposed to do? Sit there and let those dragons die?
Adriane: Oh, you're a real team player, Kara. The whole quest to save Avalon is in danger because you destroyed a power crystal!
Kara: That was an accident!
Adriane: Yeah, it seems you have a lot of those.
Kara: It would just kill you to give me credit for anything, wouldn't it?
Surprise! Emily finally grows a spine and breaks up the fight!

Kara: I'd much prefer working solo than having dragon girl breathe down my neck...
Ha.

Ozzie: A govlin, an owl, and a twig - Ravenswood is doomed.

In chapter 5, I was REALLY CONFUSED, because it described how the warrior suddenly killed her bonded animal and used her magic to mutate the healer.
I thought it was about Adriane.
Turns out it was a flashback the Dark Sorceress was having.

Dark Sorceress kidnapped Henry Gardener! And she's forcing him to make a ninth power crystal.
And she has an EEEEEEEVIL plan for how he should make it. But we're not allowed to know what that is.

Quick thought: Ozzie's a mage...WHAT IF HE'S THE DARK MAGE? Ha.

Kara: Why would every unicorn in the school suddenly decide to jump a portal at once?
Talking orb: Synchronized popping is very popular-
You know...kids these days...

Still sort of hate the fairy queen.

Lorren: The lovely healer mage. Your outer beauty is matched only by the magic inside.
Emily: Don't we look dashing?
Emily spent the entire first chapter longing for Marlin or Merlin or whatever his name is. And why didn't Kara jump at the chance to visit her boyfriend? DARK MAGE.

Olfert the mole seems to think opening the gates of Avalon would be a bad idea. Of course, the wise fairies just laugh him off. Hate them.

Adriane spends a million pages talking to Zach via D-fly. It's as sappy as ever. :P

GOOD THING THEIR ADOPTED CHILD DRAKE IS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY.

Oh no!! Another dragon! Even Drake's afraid!

That's where I leave you. There's actually a new Avalon website. Well, relatively new. They have an Avalon jukebox, with some truly awful songs. Be*Tween's not all that great. The mage quiz is the same, but my results aren't.

Wouldn't you know it? Guess I'm a healer.

I'm back

At least, temporarily.
Yeah.
I might summarize the rest of the Madison Finn series - I can't read them again, too painful. Especially the last one. And the one where she makes a new Indian friend...well, anyway.
I might continue the fanfic.
But the real reason I came back?
Two new Avalons were published.
And there's Avalon manga.
I'm reading "Dark Mage" right now, and, dare I say, I might be enjoying it?
STAY TUNED.

Lulu's Return, Part #3

While Pam and Anna chatted amiably, Lulu looked around at the various customers. She didn't recognize any of them and felt bad about it. Did that make her shallow? Sure, she liked "Gossip Girl" as much as the next person, and dressed a little bit skanky from time to time, but did that make her shallow? Then again, it had been a long time, and no one else had recognized her either. Pam, who was looking at the menu, scoffed at the prices.
"Your mom's upped the prices, Anna. $7.98 for a pancake platter?"
"Wait...she's finally made you guys start paying for your food?" Anna and Pam nodded sadly. Gone were the days of free brownies and Pony Pal specials. Now that they were seniors in high school, Mrs. Harley expected them to pay. Lulu was glad that she finally expected the Pony Pals to grow up, but secretly she wondered if she had enough money to buy anything. Assuming she did, she glanced at the menu. Hashbrowns and toast...eggs and bacon w/ toast...French toast...blueberry pancakes. There were so many carbs, it was as if Mrs. Harley WANTED Lulu to get fat.
"What can I get you guys?" A perky waitress asked, whipping out a pen and paper.
"I'll have blueberry pancakes." Pam answered.
"Same here." The waitress was looking at Lulu expectantly.
"Um..." Quickly, she perused the menu again. What sounded delicious and breakfast-y without being completely fatty and disgusting. "I'll have piece of apple pie." Crap. There went her diet. Anna and Pam stared at her in shock.
"Lulu!" Pam hissed. "What do you think you're doing?"
"What?" Lulu asked innocently, as the waitress took their menus.
"We always order the same thing!" Anna whispered violently. "It's a Pony Pal tradition!"
"Sorry," Lulu said, though she wasn't sorry at all. "I just felt like pie instead of pancakes."
"Pie isn't even a breakfast food!" Pam stated indignantly. They both glared at her, making Lulu feel incredibly small. She sunk down a little in her seat, stifling a whimper.
Then, as if nothing had ever happened, Pam and Anna went back to chatting. Lulu felt awkward.
"So," she said, breaking into their meaningless conversation. "What have I missed?" They began to tell her:
Tommy Rand, the town bully, had been held back twice, but dropped out the second time. He was now working at a garage, a place full of dirty cars and moral iniquity. Rema Baxter, thanks to her father's generous alumni donation, had been accepted into Yale. She joined a sorority, landed a spot on the honor roll, starred in numerous plays, sang in choir, and was a majorette in the marching band. Though there was a two year age difference, Rema had considered Lulu her biggest competition and, with her gone, she'd been able to be the best at everything, even horseback riding: even though their daughter had turned into a terrible rider who tended to blame the horse for everything, the Baxters thought they would try again and bought Rema a beautiful (though expensive) Arabian mare named Glittering Stardust from Heaven Above, or Geisha for short. Rema learned to ride again and began winning shows, even taking first place away from Pam, the best rider in the group. Pam was still mad about it and Anna, of course, hated Rema because she was a "snob".
Since ditching Tommy Rand in 8th grade, Mike Lacey had become a much nicer person. He started volunteering at the library, when he wasn't babysitting his younger sister, Rosalie, or working at Ms. Wiggins' house. Finally, after raising enough money, he'd moved to Chicago to live with his dad, leaving Rosalie to deal with their psychotic pony-hating mother. Rosalie was still devastated about Acorn's being sold and now, with Mike gone, her only friend was the bratty Mimi Kline. Mimi still rode Tongo, though he was way too small for either girl now that they'd hit puberty.
Charlie Olson, Mr. Olson's showboating nephew, still popped up from time to time, full of stories about Wyoming and cattle roping. The Pony Pals had since learned not to take him seriously.
As Lulu listened to all this, the waitress came by with their food. "Three stacks of blueberry pancakes," she announced, setting a plate in front of each girl. Lulu stared at the steaming hot pancakes before her.
"There must be some mistake," she began. "I ordered apple pie." The waitress stared at her blankly.
"I clearly remember you ordering pancakes. Would you like syrup?" Lulu didn't want any syrup; she wanted pie. She noticed Pam and Anna had triumphant grins on their face. It sort of pissed her off.
"What are you smiling about?" Instantly, the smiles disappeared.
"Nothing." Anna picked up her fork and took a bite of her pancakes. Pam did the same. Lulu sighed. Not wanting to start a fight, she began to eat also.
When they had been eating for a while, Lulu finally set down her fork and said, "I think we need a new name." Pam paused with a bite halfway to her lips. Anna swallowed hard.
"What?" She asked dangerously.
"Seriously," Lulu continued. "'The Pony Pals' is pretty...juvenile." Pam frowned. Anna shrugged as if to say, "Yeah? So?"
"SO," Lulu countered. "I think now that we're older, we need a name that sounds grown-up. Sure, we're 'pals' who like 'ponies', but we're not ten anymore."
"What name were you suggesting?" Pam tightened her grip on her fork, brandishing it like a weapon.
"I was wondering if you had any suggestions." Lulu knew she'd crossed a line, challenging Pam's authority. But, you know, so what? Pam had always been bossy; now it was her turn to take charge. Anna appeared to be thinking, always a dangerous thing.
"How about...The Really Cool Girls Who Like Ponies and Horses Both?" Pam and Lulu exchanged dubious glances, suddenly on the same side. Maybe it would be better to leave Anna out of this...
"Hello, girls," spoke a soft, mysterious voice. The girls looked up and saw Mr. Remington, the town librarian. He'd hardly aged in the past six years, though his jet black hair was turning the tiniest bit gray and there were wrinkles surrounding his ice blue eyes. "Lulu, it's a pleasure to see you. You've been gone a long time." Lulu suppressed a shiver. Mr. Remington, with his soft voice and Harry Potter obsession, had always given her the creeps.
"Hi, Mr. Remington," she said simply. He seemed satisfied with this greeting.
"I hear you're trying to think up a new name for your little..." He waved his hands in the air, trying to think of a suitable word.
"Cult?" Lulu squeaked. Pam glared at her. Neither Mr. Remington nor Anna had heard.
"Well, we're really good friends!" Anna piped up, trying to be helpful. Mr. Remington glanced at her but didn't say anything.
"Well, actually, we're companions." Pam said, trying to sound suave. It didn't work.
"And we love horses." Lulu said, purposefully ommitting the word "ponies". Mr. Remington looked thoughtful.
"Three companions...so be it. You shall be...the Horse Companions."
"All right!" The Horse Companions shouted, giving each other high fives. They turned to thank Mr. Remington, but he'd vanished.

Lulu's Return Part #2

Pam stared at the window in shock. It couldn't be Lulu! But it was. Though this new Lulu had short hair, cute (almost girly) clothes, and what looked to be a nose ring, it was definitely the girl Pam had been best friends with 6 years ago. She turned to look at Anna and realized Anna was no longer beside her. Another quick glance out the window revealed Anna running towards Lulu, interrupting the sentimental moment between the girl and her old pony. She arrived outside just in time to hear Anna, with her arms around Lulu, scream, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Hey, there, Annie!" Lulu said, obviously uncomfortable. Anna drew away in horror.
"M-m-my name's Anna!" She stammered incredulously. Pam came up behind her and Lulu seemed relieved to find someone she remembered.
"Pam! Hi!" She edged away from an emotionally distraught Anna and approached Pam, smiling. "I was just getting reacquainted with my old horse." Pam stiffened.
"Snow White is a pony, Lulu." Lulu paused for a split second, then snorted as if Pam had said something ridiculous.
"Duh. What did you think I said?" She shook her head and winked at Anna. Anna, almost crying, sniffed back at her. Pam noticed Lulu's appearance for the first time. Six years ago, Lulu would've been described as "tomboyish", but the outfit sure wore now was far from that. A cute shirt-ish thing (was that called a "blouse"? Pam didn't know.), a lacy peasant skirt, and sparkly flats gave off a rather girly vibe. Pam wrinkled her nose. How did Lulu expect to go riding with an outfit like that? Anna was wondering the same thing.
"You can't ride in a skirt!" She shouted, pointing at the offending garment. Lulu stared at her, obviously confused. Then she threw back her head and laughed hysterically.
"I'm not going RIDING!" She hiccuped. Anna gasped. Pam raised an eyebrow.
"But...we're the Pony Pals." Didn't that mean anything anymore? Lulu stopped laughing. She looked annoyed.
"Um, yeah, we WERE the Pony Pals. Six YEARS ago!" As if to emphasize this statement, she shoved Snow White, who was nibbling at her adorable shoulder length bob, away from her. Anna gasped again.
"Don't touch my pony!" She ran to Snow White's aid, offering the pony comfort in this time of distress. But it was Anna who needed comfort; Snow White hadn't seemed to mind one bit. Lulu sighed and continued.
"Look, ponies were cool when we were, what, ten? Then you got a horse, Pam, and I moved to Africa. I've spent the last six years traveling, and I've learned A LOT."
"Like what?" Pam asked with a sneer.
"I learned where babies come from." Lulu answered triumphantly. Anna and Pam were taken aback.
"You're not supposed to know that! It's only for married couples!" Anna hissed violently. Lulu cackled.
"Please. Married couples aren't the only ones who do it. Take Tommy and Rema for instance." Pam felt as though she'd punched in the stomach. She hadn't noticed anything between them! Lulu was just getting started.
"Yeah, seriously, they've been at it since junior high! And I learned that only homeschooled weirdos ride ponies anymore!"
"That's not true! We're not homeschooled!" Anna's passionate statement didn't exactly un-prove Lulu's point.
"Yeah, well, I also learned that you get more guys when you actually start DRESSING like a GIRL!" She let those words sink in.
"We dress like girls..." Anna mumbled, looking at the ground.
"All the time," Pam forced out, coughing guiltily. She hoped Lulu couldn't read minds, and wouldn't see as Pam mentally went through her wardrobe and found nothing but boy's buttondowns, baggy turtlenecks, and jeans. Lulu sighed.
"I was kidding. Sort of. At least you guys shower everyday. I knew a bunch of girls who didn't..." Pam and Anna exchanged guilty looks. "What? Seriously?" She laughed nervously. "You're kidding, right?" There was a long pause. Lulu sighed again.
"I'm sorry, you guys. It's just...weird being home after so long."
"You've changed," Pam said accusingly, still hurt by her friend's remarks.
"I know. I said I was sorry." Anna eyes filled with tears.
"We forgive you!" She gave Lulu a huge hug. Lulu looked uncomfortable. Anna's eyes lit up with sudden inspiration. "I know! Let's go to the diner and talk there! Then we can catch up properly!"
"But I can't ride," Lulu protested. "There aren't enough ponies."
"Just change into jeans," Anna said brightly. Lulu hesitated.
"Or we could walk." Pam suggested sourly, her lip curled in disgust. "It's just down the street."
"Great!" Anna beamed and grabbed Lulu's hand, practically dragging her out of the paddock. Pam watched them go. She wasn't hungry, and, judging from the size of Anna's protein shake at breakfast, Anna wasn't either. Yet her best friend seemed determined to integrate Lulu back into their lives. But this wasn't the Lulu they'd been friends with years ago, and, frankly, Pam wanted nothing to do with her. If only she could convince Anna of the same thing.